What's up with All These Bow Ties?
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0¢ Trinity's Oldest Continuously Published Newspaper Reub Rants about Desks!! NFL Week One p.. 3 Pg.. 7 Tuesday, September 23rd, 2014 No. 18 - You're all MWs! WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESE BOW TIES? BOWTIES ROCK...... ......NO THEY DON''T BY MATT CURRIN BY BEN REIN This year has been a new beginning for Trinity; new Remember the days when we would fight as much as possible principal, new school wide incentive, free Chick-fil-A, and to be out of dress code and to be comfortable? At one point we a…WAIT, FREE CHICKFILA! Get in line foks, because yet were even winning, think about how we changed the rules to another opportunity to sell your soul to gain free chicken. All allow casual days, but where have those casual days gone? We you have to do is wear a bowtie. Wait, that’s it? All you have to have not heard anything about casual days this year. Instead the do is slightly increase the preppiness of your wardrobe for day that used to be casual day (Tuesday) has turned into bow tie endless amounts of free chicken! Seriously, this might be the Tuesday. So rather than wearing comfortable clothes you can easiest thing that I’ve ever done in my life for free Chick-fil-A, instead wear uncomfortable ties and dress shirts. All this is just and I have done a lot of stuff of to get free Chick-fil-A. Now for fried chicken. normally I could just say it’s awesome, but that would make Now I am clearly against bow tie Tuesday and I have given a me the first student in Journalism history to get below an A. very brief partial explanation of why. Let me break down the So here’s a few reasons. First, we live in the South. This means other side's arguments first. Those in favor of bow tie Tuesday probably all of you own a bowtie. If you don’t, go to Mr. will say that they are doing it because it is the easiest way to get Adams' office and borrow one of his. Seriously, the dude owns free chicken. I would agree with this. It is an easy way to get like 40 bowties, and he keeps half of them in his office, and is chicken. In fact it may even be the easiest way to get chicken. more than happy to loan you a couple. Second, if you’re really The question, however, is just because something is easy does lazy, you can just take off your bowtie after lunch, because that make it right? Now I will give you some examples. They will you’ll have already eaten your FREE CHICK-FIL-A. This brings be the extreme end of the scale, I understand this, but they are me to my third and final point, FREE CHICK-FIL-A. I’m not just to illustrate my point. Let’s say that you are in need of quite sure you have quite wrapped your head around this yet, money, what are some easy ways to get money? Steal, sell your so I’ll say it again. FREEEEEE CHIIIIICK- (cont. on page 3) organs on the black market, prostitute yourself (cont. on page 4) w 1 x A T T R I N I T Y A TYPICAL DAY “Why did I ever decide to take Honors thoughts into words. For example, this BY: KRISTI DEMSKI Physics…I wonder if colleges really care if I whole paper. Where was I? Oh yeah Pre- I’m guessing that when normal people pass physics.” As I ponder those, and Calc. Crammed into those tiny desks, I wake up, their first thought is something other mind boggling questions, I usually just keep telling myself I’m gonna stretch like, “I’m tired” or “Why did I stay up so end up paying for it…by a lockerslap in the when I get home so one day I can be late watching Netflix” and not something face courtesy of Joanna who has just told comfortable in them. And lastly Art. Now like “I wonder what my life would be like if me to watch my head. You’d think that Art would be an amazing last class, except Michael Scott was my teacher” or “Wait after I had acquired a couple bumps on my I am so lost. Ms. Gillon thought I was such why don’t blue and black match.” I’d like to head I would learn to stop, drop, and roll an exceptional artist I skipped both say that those random thoughts end when when attempting to get away from the Introduction to Art and Art I and I’ve been I get to school. I’d like to say it. But, hectic locker situation. But no because I'm moved to Advance Art and apparently it’s usually, when I walk into class, my first constantly asking myself those hard frowned upon if, as an Advanced Artist, thought is, wait, wait, wait, when did you hitting questions during the time I need you can’t, oh, I don’t know, draw a straight tell us that we’d have a quiz today? Oh my to concentrate on not getting hit. line? gosh, did I put my phone on silent? While in History, I always think Ms. The day doesn’t end there though, the (because I don’t want it to go off in my Zook can read my mind, because she is second I walk in the door, neefa asks me locker... duh). Wait wasn’t I supposed to constantly telling us to stop talking but some equally hard hitting questions like get something signed? Did I forget to the only talking I can hear is the talking in “How was your day” even though she bring my snack? Oh wait, I’m still taking a my head…oh now that I think about it I knows my answer will always be, "it was quiz. Wait, did I forget to order lunch? I might be talking out loud too…anyways by school". She also asks “How’d your test wonder if I would need lunch if I was a Latin I am in deep distress. I can’t even go?” and when even I didn't know I had unicorn? That would be pretty cool! Oh understand my own thoughts much less one. After I binge watch a season of The wait, what am I still doing here, the bell try to understand them in Latin. And then Office and eat everything in sight, I start just rang. My irrelevant thoughts are no I get to journalism, and in the midst of my homework at 11:30. That seems to better at the lockers. I constantly ask riveting NFL Fantasy Football league news work well. Then I sit in bed, wide awake, myself, “Wait why did Joanna and Anna I come here to write stories that no one listening to the voices in my head until I get middle lockers over me and Emily” or reads but I can never really put my fall asleep. All in all, it's a pretty great day. MEET (SOME OF) THE NEW TEACHERS BY KRISTI DEMSKI AND DANA DZIADUL Mrs.. Gray Mr.. Raniierii Mr. Ranieri changed his major six times Mrs. Gray was a high ropes instructer Mr. Ranieri beat Russell Wilson in a home Mrs. Gray lived in Indonesia run derby Mrs. Gray has hiked two volcanos Mr. Ranieri has written albums with Chris Freeman (leader of Camp Trinity) Mr.. Stallker Mr.. Brazealle Mr. Stalker met his wife in college Mr. Breazeale’s wife is a Trinity alumni Mr. Stalker is a half marathon runner Mr. Breazeale has been to eight weddings Mr. Stalker has read over 1,000 books of Trinity alumni Mr. Breazeale has his pilot license Mrs.. Goggiins Mr.. Adams Mrs. Goggins ziplined in Jamaica Mr. Adams has been backstage at Gavin DeGraw Mrs. Googins wrote a thesis and Jason Maraz concerts Mrs. Goggins was a math instructor at Mr. Adams has been to France, Austria, Spain, NC State and Germany w 2 x A T T R I N I T Y REUB RANTS:: TINY DESKS geometry. Hah, those were fun, right? this time at school, and using high school Anyway, we should leave writing for BY: REUBAN RIEDELL girls’ experiences to help them get writing desks, and mathematics for through this. Junior Abrie Zorzi is one of I’m going to be honest here: tiny desks anything (hopefully) larger than a square the leaders of Girl Talk, who is also one of stink. Like, radioactively bad. I mean, how foot. the founders of it at TAR. She says,” Some are we supposed to open half of a binder They also only open from one side. of the topics that we discuss at Girl Talk on these pebble slabs? Since I am probably Coming into the room and realizing you meetings are relationships, friendships, the most ridiculous(ly awesome) person have to walk to the opposite side of every and situations at school.” Abrie also you have met or ever will meet, quite a desk in order to get in your seat is a explains how Girl Talk meetings can be few of you know that I tug my locker slightmare (slightly a nightmare). Since really fun with,” snacks, games, and ice around with me inside of my backpack. these desks are made of 100% pure trap breakers to help the girls get to know each Like seriously, I only stop by my locker to metal, they also make wonderful snares other,” There are some beneficial parts of grab my lunch.