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Bringing Up Children in A Torah Family 6 Parent to Child: Conveying Values, Attitudes & Understandings Rabbi Yitzchok Kirzner 13 Vessels of Holiness THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021·6615 Is Rabbi Yaakov Feitman published monthly except July and August, by the Agudath Israel of America, 84 Wiiiiam Street, New York, NY 10038. Second class postage 21 paid in New York, N.Y. and at additional malling Portrait of a Great Mechanech office. Subscription $22.00 per year; two years, $36.00; three years, $48.00. Outside of the United Rabbi Yissachar Frand States (US funds drawn on a US bank only) $10 sur­ charge per year. Single copy $3.00; foreign $4.00. Send address changes to The Jewish Observer, 84 32 William St., N.Y., N.Y. 10038. Tel. (212) 797-9000. A Baal Mussar From Kelm Printed In the U.S.A. A Businessman in Pre-war Europe RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR Memoirs of My Father, Rabbi Gedalya Dessler '.i 11 ~n EDITORIAL BOARD DR. ERNST BODENHEIMER told by Devorah Dessler Olstein Chairman written by Miriam Samsonowitz RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS JOSEPH FRIEDENSON 42 RABBI NOSSON SCHERMAN The Scapegoat-A Yom Kippur Essay MANAGEMENT BOARD Rabbi A Scheinman NAFTOLI HIRSCH ISAAC KIRZNER RABBI SHLOMO LESIN 47 NACHUM STEIN Candyman For A Day RABBI YOSEF C. GOLDING Eliyahu Mayer Business Manager

Published by Agudath Israel of America 53 RABBI MOSHE SHERER Postscript PRESIDENT Without Noise, Chanoch Teller THE JEWISH OBSERVER does not assume responsibility for the Kashrus of any product or 55 service advertised in its pages. Poetry © Copyright 1989 A Wrinkle in Time, Raezel Bloxenheim

OCT. 1989 57 VOLUME XXll/NUMBER 7 Letters to the Editor BRINGING UP CHILDREN IN A TORAH FAMILY

Parent to Child: Conveying Values, Attitudes & Understandings

hinuch-training children to guidance. The Insight that we derive the reality of His presence. This live a life of Torah and mitz· from the Torah remains both the constant bond is nurtured by two uos-is one of the most com~ most reliable guide to understand­ basic categories of mitzvos-the C mitzvos temidiyos, a Jew's constant plex endeavors a person can engage ing our children and ourselves, and In, for it involves on-going commun­ the wisest counsel for establishing obligations, which include basic ication and interaction between two a healthy chemistry between parent belief in G-d, and love and respect or more personalities. And, beyond and child. It is from this vantage for G-d-and mitzvos zemaniyos, doubt, the human personality is far, point that I would like to address those observed at specific times. far more complex than the most the issue of bringing up children. G-d, in His infinite wisdom, recog­ sophisticated electronic device. To (Let no one misconstrue my nized that the constantly changing successfully contribute to the remarks to suggest personal suc­ condition of man requires special growth and development of our chil­ cess in this most challenging area moments of encounter with the dren, we must first understand who of life. While it is certainly tru.e that reality of G-d. The second category they are, and what they are meant I yearn deeply to bring alive the of mitzvos, like the first, is observed to be. To this difficult task, add the wisdom of Torah in the chinuch role with regularity over a Jew's full life additional factors of the correct or that I must fulfill as a parent, it is span. Unique, however, is the inappropriate chemistry that can be my purpose here to share insights, mitzva of chinuch. inasmuch as it generated between the developed or not offer a proven formula for is restricted to a very specific time not-so developed personalities of­ success.) in the lives of our children. and yet yes-both parent and child. during that period, it is almost Amidst all the variables that tend constant. CHINUCH­ Indeed, transmission of the to confound us. one single compo­ UNIQUE AS A MITZVA nent stands with clarity and mesorah from parent to child is very strength, and that is the Torah's special. Beginning from the cradle, he one goal that each and it is nurtured at mother's bosom Rabbi Kirzner is director of the Citywide every Jew is meant to strive and comes alive in the radiance and Outreach Educational Program of the Jewish for is to be an oveid Hashem warmth of the Jewish home. True. Renaissance Center, in New York. This essay is T the factual substance of our based on a lecture delivered for Agudah Women a servant of G-d-that is, one who of America endeavors to be constantly aware of mesorah may be transmitted in any

6 The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 Rabbi Yitzchok Kirzner number of forms-through teach­ that we proVide them. Little wonder, ers, friends, seforim, and now elec­ then, that we become particularly tronic media-but there is a certain annoyed when our children act up neshama (soul) that distinguishes in the company of others. And on the mesorah as passed from parent the heels of this discomforting to chlld. This unique period of time factor, we are challenged to be is often compared to the sinking of honest with ourselves. Because of roots. While a tree's branches may this identification, the insight ofour be pruned when it is fully grown, Sages that "man does not see his it is highly unlikely that one could own shortcomings" applies as well enhance the fruitfulness of a deve­ to his children. And yet we must loped tree by tampering with its recognize their weaknesses if we are roots. By then it is too late. This to transform them into strengths! critical time element is also present Perhaps it is the unconditional love in the development of our children, that we possess for our children that and it endows chinuch with an gives us the courage to forge ahead added measure of concern. As the in truth, however painful the reve­ Sages teach us: "When the desig­ lations of their failings-our fail­ nated time passes, the opportunity ings-might be. is lost." We must see to it that as Children more than mimic their major spiritual transformation in our children grow up, they not be parents' behaVior. As Rabbi Tzad­ order to bring children into the lacking in critical elements or in dok HaKohein points out (Tzidkas world, and He knew how strongly their depth of appreciation of Yid­ Hatzaddik, #63), that which is they would strive for spiritual ele­ dishkeit and we can give it to them hidden away in the deepest recesses vation, in the intense moments of if we but put our minds to it. of our hearts-perhaps hidden away bonding with G-d through prayer. Guided by the ultimate clarity of their own hopes-and G-d's identi­ cal hopes-for the world, our Imahos ascended to the loftiest The factual substance of our planes of spirituality. From this mesorah may be transmitted in any vantage point they succeeded in parenting the next generation-the number offorms-through teachers, first of many generations that would reflect the inner clartty and commit­ friends, seforim, and now electronic ment of their ancestors, leading to media-but there is a certainneshama the formation of the Jewish Nation. Another expression of this con­ (soul) that distinguishes the mesorah cept can be seen in the Kuzari's ex­ as passedfrom parent to child. planation of the philosophical un­ derpinnings of the mitzva of cir­ cumcision: the mitzva proclaims the Jew's recognition that G-d is not from our own awareness-becomes to be excluded from any human CHILDREN-AN EXPRESSION OF revealed in the behavior of our endeavor. Spiritual purpose is PARENTAL ESSENCE children. Children (in the words of meant to inform every facet of Reb Tzaddok) are me'amke lev human existence, and a life that in­ "W:ere you there for your ha'avos, representing the deepest tegrates the material and the spir­ kids?"-a haunting and desires and strivings of their itual, creates the foundation for troublesome question; parents. liVing by the highest standards of perhaps the best way to deal with Our Sages confirm this relation­ morality. The Kuzari concludes: it is to probe the distinguishing na­ ship in many ways: For example, we "And perhaps then he will metit ture of the parental transmission of are told that it was essential that children who will be worthy to the mesorah. This exploration will our Imahos (Matriarchs) have dif­ receive spiritual nurturing from possibly be wrought with personal ficulty in conceiving children Hashem." pain, for we see ourselves in our - because G-d desires the prayers of From both examples we can see children-and for very good reasons. His righteous ones. Now, G-d is that chinuch begins with the par­ We recognize that what they are and certainly not in need of prayers. He ents establishing a clear and healthy what they are not is, to a very great did recognize. however, that our pnimius (inner being) of their own, extent, a product of the upbringing ancestors were willing to undergo with the ultimate result that their

TheJewish Obseroer, October 1989 7 virtues of a great talmid chacham, Rebbe, or spiritual leader, then this person has strong, healthy roots, even though there may be need to prune some spiritual impurities from his system. Children know this insight with· out studying Rabbeinu Yona, for one of the primary ways in which our children learn from us is by observing what is truly important and valuable to us. This commun· ication-unspoken though it may be-constitutes the most powerful children mirror their stature. Pni· rationalizing that what they're instruction and guidance that our mius, the earliest and most crucial asking for is not really so terrible. children can receive. Sometimes focus of successful chinuch, does The ability to say no to a child when more significant than what we do not merely refer to a commitment that is the called-for response re­ as true role models is how we do to the performance of mitzvos, as quires an inner strength and forti­ those very same things: When we essential as that may be. It encom­ tude that can only emerge if we perform mitzvos, do our children passes the wellsprings of striving for ourselves possess a clear, concise witness a joy over the privilege that an authentic, ongoing relationship focus on the ultimate goal of human is ours in fulfilling G-d's will?-or with G-d, from which the perfor· existence, our own included. Only do they detect nothing more than mance of all mitzvos can flow as an then can we accurately measure the rote performance, something done expression of this ultimate goal of legitimacy of their request. utilizing "to get it over with"? Do our children life. the yardstick of how productive or discern our sense of accomplish­ The quality of this pnimius is counter-productive granting the ment after we've completed a blatt based on the deep conviction that, request would be in terms of where Gemora?-or only after we have "If not for the opportunity of Kiroas we should be directing our lives­ pulled off a lucrative business deal Elokim (a closeness to G·d), what and theirs. or bought tickets for an extended purpose do I have in life?" Seeking The logical question that follows vacation? Do our children feel our Kirvas Elokim should not be is, how can anybody be sure of what sadness or distress over a lost regarded as a lofty level of chassidus his pnimius consists of? Further­ opportunity to perform a mitzva?­ (piety); it should be part and parcel more, don't our Sages teach us that or only when a business venture has of every Jew's conscious readiness the innate desire of every Jew is gone bad? There is a specific point to give his life to sanctify Hashem's really to do G-d's will? Can't we rely on the great spectrum of human Name, as he proclaims twice each on simple gut reaction? striving where we choose to invest day in the Shema. This "sanctifica­ Rabbeinu Yona, in his Gates of our emotions most heavily. Our tion" is not only dying for G-d's Repentance (3:148), points out that choice etches an indelible mark name; it calls on us to accept that just as one can establish the value upon our children's appreciation for only for Him is life worth living. of a gold or silver alloy. with all its the meaning of life. When the heartbeat of life is Kiroas impurities, by ascertaining the We cannot transmit our magnif· Elokim, then the sanctity of dying common ratio of pure gold or silver icent mesorah with any guarantee for G-d's Name is more than to the other metals, so, too. can we of eternity if we do not resonate with matched by the spiritual glory of establish the inner worth of an joy for its dominant place in our living the life of a martyr.... This individual by how he weighs his lives. If we think we can compensate Is the nature of the pnimius that various priorities. Direct questions for the absence of such joy by telling will be mechanech a generation to put a person on guard, so he'll our children how they should feel. lead a life of Torah. respond to satisfy the expectations our children will view us with of the listener, not revealing his true confusion and bewilderment. As inner being. Watch, instead, for the they mature, their silent screams DECIDING WITH STRENGTH types of people and the kinds of over our hypocrisy will hamper their OF CONVICTION success that evoke admiration from ability to make their own authentic an individual, and take note of the commitments to Yiddishkeit and ur children often make de· people and circumstances that leave so the chain of mesorah becomes mands of us that. while not the same person cold. Whatever a threatened. Ointrinsically objectionable. person praises truly reflects his A striking portrayal of this con· are excessive or extravagant. We are pnimius. If one expresses respect. cept is the fate of Miriam bas Bilga tempted to give in to their pressure, praise, and excitement for the who upon the defilement of the

8 The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 Temple by the enemy, took off her Hashem, a servant of G-d. But how task-untainted by ego involve­ shoe and struck the mizbe'ach (holy do we nurture self-esteem in a child ment. not limited by the "No Altar), asking, "How long will you without compromising the central­ Vacancy" signs that people tend to devour the financial resources of the ity of G-d to all existence? How do post. excluding Hashem from enter­ Jewish people?" Because she dis­ we cultivate a sense of being unique, ing this or that facet of their lives. played disrespect for the mizbe'ach, without compromising the 613 Briefly stated, the only true kavod herentire familywas penalized from mitzvos that address us all equally? (honor) that exists is that which is the privileges of the mizbe'ach. Our Are these psychological needs inher­ an expression of K'vod Shomayim Sages explain why the entire family ently separate requirements that (Divine Honor). and the only manner was made suffer, for had Miriam not run on tracks parallel to avodas in which man can achieve any sensed a disrespect for the miz­ Hashem (Divine service). or do the measure of honor or dignity is by be'ach in her parents' home, she two areas ultimately merge in some so perfecting himself, that he comes would never have acted as she did. integrated fashion? Again. we must to reflect K'vod Shomayim What Parental attitudes exert such look to the Torah to resolve this greater esteem or dignity can we subtle yet powerful pressures upon most sensitive issue. impart to our children than to give their children. Children naturally Our Sages teach us: "Everything them the tools and training to look up to their parents as the most that G-d created in His universe was accept as their mission in life reliable resource for determining only created to reflect His honor." serving K'vod Shomayim!

Chinuch begins with the parents establishing a clear and healthy pnimius (inner being) of their own, with the ultimate result that their children mirror their stature. which values should take priority in Certainly the onus of recognizing Now this is a tall order. There is life. They look up to them in the and projecting this Divine glory falls no simple curriculum for training simple trust that they would not squarely upon man's shoulders. children to feel that their goal is to transmit falsehoods to them. Our Only man, properly utilizing the reflect K'vod Shomayim. One might task is to make our own pnimius world's resources in his service of well wonder how children can grasp worthy of our children's trust. G-d, can unify all of the elements of such a high principle, such lofty creation in a symphony whose idealism. There is no need to music is the expression of G-d's wonder. The purity. underlying THE "EVED HASHEM" AND glory. This mission is not easily SELF-ESTEEM faith. and simplicity of children fulfilled, for it requires the will and allow them to intuitively recognize ur discussion until now has the strength to live only for the the purpose and beauty of human focused on the development honor of G-d. No mistake should be existence far better than many Oof a pnimius that reflects au­ made-this goal is not one of many adults. And if reflecting K'vod Sho­ thentic Torah values and emotions, items on the agenda of life: it is the mayim is the parents' goal in life, and rejects the infiltration of alien only item on the agenda. Little their larger undertakings and their ideals that can derail our striving wonder, then, that B'nei Yisroel small gestures, their studied pro­ for greatness. This pnimius be­ became the chosen people. the only nouncements and their chance comes the beacon of light that nation willing to accept the charge comments will all inevitably mirror guides our children's growth as ofliving solely for K'vod Shomayim! this pnimius. The children will Jews. But there is yet another area We might misconstrue this mis­ perceive their _parents' pnimius; of confusion and anxiety in regard sion to suggest unceasing self­ they will attempt to emulate their to providing our children with a denial, so ingrained with subjuga­ way of life: and they will feel encour­ healthy environment for personality tion that the individual is left totally aged when they succeed. In this growth. It is never verbalized, yet it bereft of any sense of self. Nothing manner, the budding Eved Hashem is a serious matter. could be further from the truth. achieves a healthy self-image en­ Modem psychology has made us There is no greater title to bestow hanced with dignity and a sense of deeply aware of a child's need for upon a Jew than calling him an individual identity. self-esteem and individualization. Eved Hashem. For in fulfilling the Our ancestors appreciated the These concepts have much validity role of being an Eved Hashem man blessing and responsibility inherent for the healthy development of the ascends to take on the strength and in being partners with G-d in the child, and health is certainly a beauty of Hashem's attributes, creation of a child, as a means for prerequisite for becoming an oveid becoming a "vessel" suited to the facilitating the continuing process

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 9 of revealing K'vod Shomayim. In exhibited what seemed to be a lack was his queen Michal, daughter of fact, it was absurd to them to ever of kavod for Ely Hakohein, which King Saul. When Michal bitterly consider bringing into the world would have threatened his very life, criticized David, he responded with children who would define their life Chana beseeched Ely with an­ what remains a monumental lesson purpose in any way other than guished-filled words to judge for generations: There is no honor revealing K'vod Shomayim. Shmuel favorably: "For this child I but the honorcifHashem. The honor prayed"-saying that this child was qf a king emanates from his func­ CHILDREN: A VEHICLE FOR a pure outgrowth of a true yearning tion as an emissary whose role is "K'VOD SHOMAYIM'' for K'vod Shomayim: You must be to reveal the sovereignty of mistaken about any intent ef dis­ Hashem. "Little wonder that your arious episodes in sejer respect on my son's part, for it is father Saul was stripped of royalty, Shmuel revolve about the the very antithesis ef his roots. for he placed his respect for public V concept ofchildren serving as • Our Sages teach us that El­ opinion ahead of G-d's will!" a vehicle for expressing K'vod kana merited to father Shmuel be­ This exchange is followed by an Shomayim: cause of how he inspired others as epilogue of crushing finality, relat­ ing that from that day forth, Michal had no children with David. No further explanation Is necessary to One of the primary ways in which realize the awesome connection our children leamfrom us is between K'vodShomayimand bear­ by observing what is truly ing children. important and valuable to us. BRINGING THE LESSON HOME ow let us ask ourselves some questions: Do our lives, by Chana, who was childless, was he travelled with overflowing joy to N personal example and spoken particularly anguished when she observe the mitzva of aliya leRegel. guidance, transmit the absolute travelled to Shilo, together with her He who strives to enhance K'vod centrality of K'vod Shomayim? Do family, for the mitzva of aliya Shomayim is blessed with children we think, before we respond yes or leRegel-the festival pilgrimage (see that will mirror K'vod Shomm;im. no to our children, if we are com­ Shmuel I Chap.I). She pleaded with In the following chapter, the promising their capacity to take up G-d to grant her the blessing of Prophet demonstrates the dramatic the holy charge of becoming true children, even challenging Him: "If difference between Elkana's child, ovdei Hashem?Do we supply them I belong to the celestial realms that Shmuel, and Ely's two sons, Chafni with entertainment and pastimes ·exist eternally but do not procreate, and Pinchos. Ely is criticized for that idolize people and values that allow me to live eternally: if, however, having placed the honor of his are the antithesis of kirvas Elokim? I am of the earthly realm, which are children before the kavod of G-d, This self-examination must also mortal, then allow me to have child­ rendering him incapable of influ­ include one vital character trait that ren like them." encing his children to correct their the Chovas Halevavos describes as • Did Chana experience unbear­ ways that had disgraced the kehuna the spiritual oxygen of the eved able anguish at the time of aliya (priesthood). From its earliest orig­ Hashem-humility. This should be leRegel only because of the taunting ins, kehuna was granted only to quite obvious, taking into account of her rival, Penina? And what is those that placed Hashem's honor the mind-set of the true eved the deeper meaning of her seem­ above all else, and thus it was taken Hashem, as we described earlier. We ingly confrontational prayer? It away from Ely's family for their do our children a great disservice might well be that the experience of failure to do so. The Prophet sums by catering to their every wish and aliya leRegel infused its partici­ it up very succincily: "Those that whim, for we develop in them a self­ pants with an awe-inspiring sense honor Me, I shall honor: those that centeredness and arrogance that of G-d's reality, the true majesty of shame the K'vod Shomayim will cripples their ability to foster any G-d's existence. Chana thus yearned ultimately be disgraced." humility before G-d. to fulfill her role as a woman in • Another poignant episode that The implications are far-reaching. bringing out K'vod Shomayim. The reveals the connection between Crisis and tragedy are unfortunately realms above serve that purpose K'vod Shomayim and responsible not uncommon to the human con­ within the framework of their eter­ parenthood is the account of King dition. Without humility, we are ill­ nity, the realms below within the David's exuberant dancing before equipped to deal with the trials that framework of an ongoing chain of the aron haKodesh as it was being test our emuna (faith) that evolve generations. 'Where do I belong?" carried to an appropriate repository. from these trying circumstances. asked Chana. It is for this reason Gazing in utter disgust at what, in King David's life was certainly filled that later, when her son Shmuel her eyes, was a lack of royal dignity, with hardship and tragedy, and

10 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 nonetheless he authored 150 invaluable characteristic? There is emanate from a deep yearning to Psalms of praise to G-d. What was but one answer: the children must reflect K'vod Shomayim, we will find King David's source of super­ be able to observe it in all of our the proper means to channel wis­ human spiritual greatness, to be personal interactions-in particu­ dom, courage and love to our child­ able to live in song of G-d's glory? lar, those between mother and ren.And our dealings with them will King David possessed humility father. be free of the shortcomings of our il)))Ji"l-a word with the same numer­ Let us conclude by recognizing egos, which build barriers of con­ ical value (150) as t1Y), the Hebrew that after all of the insightful advice fusion, hurt, and misunderstanding word for anger, implying a connec­ that we might acquire about chi­ between ourselves and our children. tion between the two. King David nuch, we must call out in sincere Furthermore, if our yearning for a lived a life that could very well have prayer to G-d, as did our ancestors. harmonious home-life stems from given way to anger and rage, and he to raise a Torah-true generation. If devotion to K'vod Shomayim, we was able to transform it into a hymn our prayers clarify and develop the will be answered in the great mertt of praise by the power of his humil­ true pnimius within us, we will of that lofty purpose. It all begins ity. Again, we must ask ourselves, come to truthfully know ourselves with learning to sing the joyous mel­ how do we teach our children this and our children. If our prayers ody: "[ am a servant of Hashem."•

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• BRINGING UP CHILDREN IN A TORAH FAMILY Rabbi Yaakov Feitman

OF

A Torah-Look at Child-Rearing

A GAP IN OUR GREATNESS decency, our propriety, our mentch· lichkeit? Let's ask a basic, simple question: Have we produced a gener­ iddisheNachas.ltis the most ation of nice people? If the answer profound wish of eveiy Jew­ is not a resounding unequivocal Y ish parent and the preoccu­ "yes," then we have much for which pation of much of our lives. But, to to answer and much yet to ac­ borrow the old Yiddish phrase, "Vi complish. koift men dos?" Where do we get it? Despite our deep pride In the How? achievements of our community, Surely, there are no easy answers. something seems to be missing. One place to begin is an honest ap­ Perhaps it Is a certain gentility, that praisal of our own generation. How beautiful and elusive "aidelkeit" are we doing in our childrearing? Perhaps It is a certain lack of What and who have we produced? manners, of appropriate expression As we enter upon a new decade­ thodox professionals think nothing when the occasion demands civility, the 5750's-Torah Jewiy has much of wearing their yarmulkes in their sensitivity, tolerance. Whatever it is, of which to be proud. Day schools physicians' offices, labs and board however we define it, I do believe It flourish in most cities with a sizable rooms. And of course. yeshivos are exists and should be discussed. Jewish population. It has become n"Y> full, often with waiting lists, and And so these words of stricture accepted and even fashionable for expansion plans under way. were born out of love and imitation young men to study Torah exclu­ But there Is another litmus test of our Creator: "For he whom sively for a year or two after high that we have not applied as often. Hashem loves, He corrects, as a school. a phenomenon that gener­ perhaps out of fear of its results. The father the son in whom he delights" ated many a family battle only two ultimate measure of our success at (Mishlei 3. 12). decades ago. Kollelim have become liVing a Torah life is whether our If, indeed, there is a certain gap the focal point of Torah life in com­ actions cause others to love G-d in the phenomenal success of our munities where secularism reigned because of us. Torah chinuch, what is its source? supreme in the 1960's. In many " 'And you shall love the L-rd your Where shall we place the blame? ways, the seeds planted with such G-d' "-that the Name of Heaven And, by logical extension, where self-sacrifice by the gedolim in the should become beloved because of must the changes be made? In this difficult 1940's have borne fruit un­ you . . . If someone . . . speaks Writer's opinion, the fault does not imagined by lesser souls. Young Or- pleasantly to people, what is then lie with our devoted mechanchim said about him? 'Happy is the father and yeshivos. Eveiyyeshiva and Day Rabbi Feit.man. Rav of the Young Israel of who taught him Torah ... look how School has midos programs de­ Cleveland. was founding principal of Yeshiva fine are his ways, how righteous his signed to enhance derech eretz and Rabbi Jacob Joseph in Staten Island, N.Y. This deeds'" (Yoma 86a). personality training. But in many essay Is based on a lecture presented for Agudah Women of America as well as for Binoh of How are we doing in this crucial ways we have allowed the demand­ Manchester, England. area. of inspiring people with our ing and decadent competitiveness of

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 13 the outside world to insinuate itself latest Vogue Magazine-look to What are they? What special role do into our Torah society in the most parade outside shul on Shabbos­ they occupy on the world scene? The bizarre and grotesque of manners. the virtual boutiquing of Judaism! answer is a somewhat terrifying one, The twelve-year-old fashion ls this what Torah life was really but one that could change forever maven comes home from being supposed to be like? What. in fact, how we look at our offspring. initiated by his "older" contempor­ have we created? Can the products To the average Jew. few words are aries, and insists on a Borsalino of such a milieu possibly be the uttered with the reverence and hatfor his Bar Mitzva. It costs one refined, unpretentious and gracious yearning we reserve for "Moshiach." hundred and fifty dollars. but so people we all want them to be? And yet. every Jewish child is what? Yossi must have it because Undoubtedly not. So perhaps we granted that exalted title by the all of his friends are already can agree that. while we have done Torah. "Rav Yehuda said in the wearing them. well in many areas, there is much name of Rav: What is meant by­ Think back. please, to your own room for improvement. If we are to 'Touch not my anointed ones Bar Mitzva just a few years ago. Did chart a new course leading to more (B'meshichai) and do my prophets any of us know the name of a hat mentchlichkeit and basic good no harm'? Anointed ones refers to company, let alone contemplate the manners, to instill in our children school children and prophets to chutzpa of demanding a certain one the virtues of frugality and restraint, Torah scholars" (Shabbos I l 9b). from our parents? We were grateful a map must be provided for the Why are young children called to have a hat. Any hat. journey. "anointed"? Rash! explains "be­ What have our Bar Mitzvas Here, therefore, are some sug­ cause it is customary to rub children become, if not exercises in excess, gested points for contemplation and with oil." The Melaya Katores by lesson plans for later self-indul­ introspection. How do we get there Rabbi Eliezer Zusman-Sofer (pub. gence? A young man in one of the from here? These are my own nine 1872) adds that if you want to suc­ finest neighborhoods, from a won­ proposals. However. everyone must ceed in raising children imbued derful yeshiva, is promised that if devise his and her own personalized with Torah ideals, you must make he learns well and receives good trip-Uk, for none of us begins at them feel spiritually regal. They marks on his report card, a famed exactly the same spot as the next should feel that their Torah study Israeli singer will be flown in to en­ person, nor will we arrtve at precisely makes them royal. that good midas tertain at his extravaganza. The the same destination. But ulti­ are majestic. A parenthetic warning false and unconscionable value mately, the path we travel must note is sounded by Rabbi Sofer from system of his adult life has been set cover similar ground. So let us the conclusion of the verse: "Beware in motion in a moment of parental begin, with the wayfarers' prayer on of how you treat Torah scholars, for hubris and miscalculation. our lips, to avoid the dangers which your little ones are watching." If you A new bride tells her middle­ lurk in this perilous world through talk down to the Kolle! man, speak class parents, "I can't have a which we must journey. condescendingly to the melamed, wedding with only 500 people in look askance at the Rosh Yeshiva­ that place. What would all my A MAP FOR THE JOURNEY meshulach, you won't raise a friends say?" And her hard­ moshiach because when they think working parents hang their heads I. Vessels of Holiness of Torah, they will see shame instead in embarrassment swallow hard of the sovereignty of being a talmid and mortgage their own future for he most basic question, one chacham (see Gittin 52a). five hours qf immoderation. we rarely ask ourselves, there­ The Maharal provides a powerful Designer glasses for children, real T by causing great risk to our and poignant metaphor for under­ diamond earrtngs for toddlers, the progeny, is Who are our children? standing the child-moshiach appel­ lation. "A child is like a vessel which can be sanctified. Before he has been tainted, the child is like the holy vessels of the Beis Hamikdash, ready to receive sanctity and become permeated with kedusha" (Nesivos Olam-Nesiv Hatorah,_ Chap. 10). What is the source of this holi­ ness? A basic place to look is the child's crib. Why does the child respond to singing? The reason that a baby loves to hear singing is that "-{,,::::::J,--/:-,::'_,__ ":_::-"::,:<:-,--,-, '<--',""' -,,:_:_, ',_';,::::, '' _,' <:,'_ '_',':'_";;,," ':-'," " ,- ,-,:- ,', ' ''', ',_' ,_ ,' '', N?">~?1 il)"ll '7lp::i n'7l1lr..'l l'll£il "his soul has become accustomed to the Yi'.iri.~lifitbf thi~ ~reaf~itzVak1nil/J·t4e'Al"miqhtr!•·bless .you .in all·.walks•of/ifei. Heavenly Song and still remembers and feels that music until he is

14 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 sullied by sin . . . and then it is Is it any wonder, then, that the forgotten" (Shomer Emunim p.381 Satan-the force of evil required to quoted by Rabbi Y. Epstein. Mitzvos maintain Free Will in the world­ Habayis, II p.61). If you want to targets our innocent but pivotal But what song are we talking succeed in raising little children? about? Is it that of the Polish maid, In our time, this status as bas­ the British au pair, the Spanish live­ children imbued with tions of our defense has become in? The Sefer Chassidim (no. 235) Torah ideals, you even more acute and solitary. There warns: 'Whoever has a baby in the are times when there is an earlier cradle dare not sing to him songs must make them feel stronghold of protection, before the of the gentiles." Yiddishe mothers spiritually regal. children are called upon as the used to sing to their children of nation's shield. 'When there are ancient glories, of love of G-d. of tzaddikim in the generation, these miracles and holy dreams. of Torah righteous people are seized by death and mitzvos. Who is putting them careful with their children? It is for the sins of the generation. When to sleep in our newly affiuent sur­ certain that they will have to give there are no tzaddikim in a gener­ rogative society? Perhaps the most a reckoning for the tender babies ation, school-children suffer for the fundamental, yet paradoxically eas­ who have not sinned who die in sins of the generation" (Shabbos iest and most pleasant improve­ this way ...." 33b). ment we can make is to start singing ls this then jrumkeit-to ignore We are the generation that Torah lullabies to our children medical advice, common sense, the is witnessing the passing of the again. law-and endanger our most pre­ last of the European gedolim cious charges? no,,, omo1. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, A horrifying thought occurred to Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky and Holier than the Temple me as I contemplated our sometimes Rabbi Ruderman are gone. We don't reckless lack of care for our young, have the Steipler or Rabbi Berel o we realize that the reason and I dearly hope that I am wrong. Brisker in Eretz Yisroel.All the more that "we do not disrupt the Are we-many of us-a bit too must we guard our children-phys­ D learning of children even to complacent about our children ically and spiritually. build the Beis Hamikdash" is because we tend to have more of Look again at your sleeping because their own holiness is them? We all love each of our prince, the moshiach at your table, greater than that of the Be is H amik­ children. But have you ever watched the holy vessel with which you have dash itself? (Maharal to Shabbos the treatment received by a child been entrusted. It can make all the 119b) lfwe did, would we not treat who arrives after a long period of difference in the world. Yes, we them with the care we would lavish infertility? That love and care, that should be spoiling our children­ upon the holy vessels of the Beis attention, that safeguarding is the with great helpings of holiness and Hamikdash if we but had them in birthright of every one of our little spirituality. our hands! meshichim To be very practical, one cannot help but be shocked at the way many The Vulnerability qf Our Children religious mothers in certain areas FAMOUS wheel their baby carriages. The light he obligation to protect our has turned red, the cars are coming, children from danger goes THE DAIRY RESTAURANT and still they go. Don't they realize T even deeper. All children are that it is the Moshiach Hashem subject to a formidable array of ~ they are endangering? childhood !lls and hazards. But · .An. even more common offense is Jewish children carry the burden of the way children are thrown into an additional peril as well: cars without being strapped in. Are "Every single day an angel parents claiming bitachon? I believe leaves the Holy One Blessed Be He, that, rather, the rule to remember to destroy the world and to return Cholov Yisroel • Shomer Shabbos here is "not to rely on miracles" (see it to chaos. But when G-d sees the Under the Supervision of Pesachim 64b). schoolchildren ... studying Torah. But this failing is nothing new. His anger is traneformed into pity" Kha! Adath Jeshurun Over four centuries ago, the Holy (Kallah Revasi, Chap. 2). Open for Breakfast Shalah (Shaar Ha'osios, "derech Our children are so vulnerable, Luncheon and Dinner eretz" p.102b) thundered concern­ not because they are young and Catering • Parties • Meetings ing a childhood illness of his time: tender. but because they are the first 222 West 72nd Street "I am shocked about the . . . line of defense against the Angel of (212) 595-8487 disease. Why are parents not more Death and his prosecutorial team.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 15 tOflfJJ1t t:)JD}l mto ooS II. Providing Torah Influences daughter was brought surrounded batonim and ruach events experi­ by pieces of wood and burnt' "(San­ ence more excitement In their Yid­ hedrin 52b). dishkeit than children from homes ll of us, no matter how insu­ -To be sure. the Gemora concludes that have always been quite frum. lated. live in the McLuhan that Rabbi Eliezer ben Tzaddok's Secondly. that we are not teaching A world of powerful media testimony is not admissable enough formal hashkafa in our influences. It is our obligation as because he was a minor at the time schools. Baalei Teshuva by defini­ parents to provide equally forceful of the event. Therefore. his memory tion explore the answers to ancient alternative images to our children about the details of the method of questions ofbelief and faith. and are to counter the baleful effects of the execution does not have legal rele­ permitted to articulate their doubts street. vance. The question for us is, what and uncertainties. It has been my Our Sages relate at least two was he doing there in the first place? experience that yeshiva graduates instances of adults recollecting Is that any place to bring a young often enter adulthood and the world events from their early childhood.As child. one young enough to ride on beyond the Bets Hamidrash with always. every story told by Chazal his father's shoulder? great gaps in their knowledge and must be examined from every van­ The answer. which would clearly understanding of basic Judaism. At tage point to ascertain the lessons shock much of our liberal society, that point. they are embarrassed to to be gained from the details. is yes. Rabbi Tzaddok determined ask what seem to be elementary questions, and the long-term results Yiddishe mothers used to sing to their can be a tragic estrangement from Torah Judaism. children of ancient glories, of love of G-d, of Let us, therefore, make sure that there are ample reinforcements of miracles and holy dreams, of Torah and "live Yiddishkeif' for the young. mitzvos. Who is putting them to sleep in our with visits to soferim and tzitzis factories. mikvaos and eiruv con­ newly affluent surrogative society? struction. kosher butchers (for many of our children have never The issue in Kesubos 26a is of that watching an execution would seen the various kashering pro­ credibility in being declared a engrain into his child forever that cesses. unlike a generation ago) and kohein. evil is punished by death. that "there how to test for shatnez. "I remember." someone related in is justice and judge" (Targum Yon­ As for the older children: with the passing, "when I was a child and assan to Bereishis 4,8). and that to careful guidance of gedolim, let us rode on myfather's shoulder. they sin places one in mortal danger. expose them to the great works of took me out qf school. removed my If the modem liberal sensibility is hashkafa and encourage them to tunic and immersed me in the a bit put off, let us compare Rabbi ask, to question. to be honest about mikva so I could eat teruma in the Tzaddok's approach with what the their skepticism and doubts. Better evening." typical contemporary child must to implant emuna, bitachon and The first time a little kohein eats contend with. He watches 200,000 correct answers now, when they are teruma is made into an event to be acts of violence. including over remembered for a lifetime. The receptive, and their souls are open 10.000 wanton murders on tele­ and pure. man is apparently not a scholar vision a year. Is this better than and is just relating a storyfrom his watching one unforgettable mo­ youth. But he will neverforget that ment when justice clearly triumphs m. The Example and Role Model eatingteruma is something special. over evil? punctuated by being taken out of No, today we cannot take our chil­ school. and made more memorable dren to watch the physical eradica­ hen Reb Eizele Charif was by riding on hisfather's shoulders tion of evil. But we can plan Torah a young boy, he was known for the privilege of immersion before events which will imprint them­ W as an illuy-a true geni­ partaking of sanctified food. The selves on their sensitive souls. There us-but he sometimes answered his Gemora concludes that hisfriends. are two fallacies in much prevailing elders a bit too sharply. too. were impressed enough by the thought on chinuch for children One of the city elders once teased scene to nickname him 'Yochanan from frum homes. One is that only him. "Eizele, you are an illuy? the challah-eater." the "not-yet:frum" need to be moti­ When the Rebbe Reb Hershel was And on a seemingly more jarring vated by exciting happenings. Even your age, he was already learning note: children from the best of homes in Yeshiva Gedola!" "Rabbi Eliezer ben Tzaddok must be energized by special unfor­ Answered the young Reb Eizele, said. 'I remember when I was a gettable moments of ruchnius. It ls ''.And when he was your age. he child riding on my father's shoul­ sad that sometimes children whose was already learning in the Heav­ der that a kohein 's adulterous religiaus life revolves around Shah- enly yeshiva."

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 17 One day, a community leader learn Torah, they must watch us door and study till the wee hours. took upon himself to rebuke Eizele spending every extra moment learn· But we were never a part of it" for his disrespeciful rejoinders. ing as well. .o~n)J 1)1 l)))J.,l ,,., rnJl)nl "lf you can't even control yourself The Belzer Rebbe, Reb Ahrele now as a child, Eizele, what will ., 11 ~t, commented on, •1? n11ntnn IV. Sensitivity Training be with you when you grow up and O?lY 1)J lP)J.,) ))J n1'Jlli1) )))p)l;N "The become a man?" secret things belong to the L·rd our Little Eizele didn't hesitate a G·d. But the things that are he true Torah personality moment and replied, "Why then I revealed belong to us and to our reflects two distinct, almost will give mussar to little children" children forever . . . " (Devarim T opposite, characteristics that (Rabbi Yehuda L. Levin, Reb Eizele 29:28). Says the Belzer Rebbe: That are both sine qua non to proper Charif, Page 14). which we do in a hidden way, G·d avodas Hashem. On the one hand, My own Rebbe. Rabbi Yitzchok will surely know about and credit there must be an absolute unqual· Hutner J">l. chastised a father for us. But if we wish our children to if!ed commitment to every detail of continually shushing his young son learn from our actions, we must do Torah law. The so-called minutiae during davening. them openly infront of them. Then of halacha must be adhered to with "What are you doing?" the Rosh they will have an eternal effect reverence and scrupulousness, with Yeshiva asked the father. influencing all generations until the recognition that every particular "I'm being mechanech my child the end of time. counts in the great eternal scheme. not to talk during davening." "Yes. yes," the Rosh Yeshiva smiled. "You're training your child In many ways we have allowed the so that he too will grow up to shush his child during davening. Just demanding and decadent competitiveness of daven with obvious kavana and the outside world to insinuate itself into our concentration, and he will soon imitate your actions rather than Torah society in the most bizarre and your words." grotesque of manners. Indeed, children don't listen as much as imitate. They don't follow as much as emulate. If we want chi!· Several years ago, my quest for A dramatic example of one who dren to learn chessed, we have to old seforim brought me in contact failed this criterion is the Tanna take them along when we do some· with a family consisting of several Elisha benAvuya, known asAcher­ one a favor. If we want children to grown sons and daughters; they simply. "the Other One." He became hadjust risenfrom shivafor their so involved with the philosophical father. They were not religious and side of Judaism that he mistakenly had no interest in theirfather's vast concluded that the commandments B"H library of seforim. I had received and their myriad details were merely word of a sale of rare halachic o>~>ON1 o>7,-vehicles and interme· SEEWALD'S works and rushed over to the home. diaries to reaching spiritual levels. As I opened volume qfter volume, Since he was convinced that he had ALL MAKES !found that the recently departed attained these ends, he erroneously &MODELS man had apparently been an decided that he had no further need extraordinary talmid chacham. for what he viewed as a mere expe· often adding his own incisive dient (Yismach Moshe, Tetzaveh, glosses to the works in his library. based upon Kuzart). What had happened? I couldn't At the other extreme are some who help but ask the now middle-aged are loyal to the details and devout children how it was that their about particulars. They are techni· father had been so pious and callyfrum. but they miss the essence learned a Jew, and they were so of being a Torah Jew. Somehow, they far removed from Judaism. are lacking the heart of the matter. The answer virtually broke my To them is given the injunction. Everybody Drives heart, but taught me the wisdom "Rachmana liba ba'i-The Torah of the Belzer Rebbe 's interpretation. requires heart" (Sanhedrin 106b). A Used Car! "Myfather was a tzaddik nistar," The Chiddushei HaRim notes said one of the more knowledge· that. in fact, the end result of all the (718) 604-CARS able sons. "He always hid every· intellectual study and cognitive thing from us. He would close his efforts must be the penetration of

18 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 the heart: "And you shall know this I cannot even imagine." day and take to your heart" (Deva­ Reb Chaim went on to utilize this rim 4,39). First comes the rational, poignant scene to instill in his tal­ cerebral process which leads to midim the great principle of sharing understanding. But a higher and in another person's joys and sor­ later goal is the assimilation of this rows. "Although I cannot imagine knowledge into the realm of the the depth of that mother's joy," Reb heart. Chaim declared, "I can at least be Our age has certainly seen a great a partner to her simcha." (Sefer Ha­ deal of progress in the former of zikaron-Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, these two desiderata. We are living p.112) at a time of great strides in the kashrus industry because people truly are meticulous about what they are eating. Entire technologies have been created to make Shabbos observance manageable, even under the most difficult of conditions, and The great Mashgiach qf the Slo­ many areas of the Shulchan Aruch bodka Yeshiva, RebAvrohom Grod­ Peak of the Success Curve are being newly reviewed after zensky 7"!)ll, was once in Warsaw decades of neglect. for ajamily gathering. Members of he second part of this two­ The "heart" of Judaism, how­ the group noticed that he seemed fold approach flows from ever-the emotional, the sensitivity, to be in a particularly good mood, T what I believe is a deleterious the character-training side of our as if he were celebrating some­ side-effect of the spiritual successes development-has sadly not fared as thing. When asked about his of our generation. In the famous well. behavior, he answered that at that passage presaging the Churban of The solution, I believe, is in a two­ moment the wedding of one qf the European Jewry-Holocaust, Rabbi fold approach to Torah sensitivity yeshiva boys was taking place. Meir Simcha Hakohein describes training. The gedolim of the last few ''Although I cannot physically be the spiritual danger to the genera­ generations did this naturally and with him now, the least I can do, tion at the pinnacle of the Torah all those around them grew from the and must do, is to celebrate with developmental curve: ''When Torah experience. him from ajar" fforas Avrohom. institutions have been developing introduction, p. 13 ). Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz '"~•.the successfully and the Torah is at Its Rosh Yeshiva qf Mir, Jerusalem, At a recent house of mourning in height, what can the new generation once passed by a shoemaker's store Cleveland, the Rosh Yeshiva of add? How can the younger gener­ where rows of tiny children's shoes Telshe, Rabbi Mordechai Gifter ation achieve its natural inclination were drying in the sun. The great N"IJ''"' was about to leave after his to be original and creative?" Rosh Yeshiva was deeply moved by nichum aveilim. As he uttered the (Meshech Chochmo to Vayikra this scene and later, in one of his traditional phrase. "May G-d com­ 26:44 ), Reb Meir Simcha goes on to mussar shmuessen, reconstructed fort you among the other mourners describe in cataclysmic terms the his emotions at the time. "I for Zion and Jerusalem," the Rosh results of the younger generation's imagined," he told and simultane­ Yeshiva began to weep as he reflect­ inabilityto improve spiritually on Its ously taught his students, "a poor ed upon the meaning qf an entire predecessor, and therefore it seeks young boy who spots these shoes nation mourning for the lost glory its niche in individual accomplish­ and wishes he could have a pair. of Zion and Jerusalem. Soon. in­ ment outside Torah growth and His mother, knowing how expen­ stead qf a peifunctory ceremonial tradition. sive they are, realizes that she moment all present wept for the Can this process be forestalled? cannot purchase them imme­ various tragedies and calamities Is there an inevitability to the diately but promises her child that that have befallen our nation. spiritual decline? The answer may soon, soon they will be his. The Thus do our sages teach us and be found in an almost overlooked exciting day finally arrives. The attempt to develop in us genuine mida (F,ttribute) of our Creator, sweet little boy tries on the shoes, Torah emotions. We must learn from which we would do well to emulate. hisfacejull of glee and pleasure. them to do the same in our parental We recite thrice daily: "The L-rd His mother is a.ff to the side, herface roles, to seek out the moments when is good to a.Ii and His compassion radiant with the wonder of the Torah sentiments can be injected is upon all of His creation." The moment I can feel," added Reb into the blood stream so that we not Midrash Tanchuma speaks of this Chaim, "what thejatherjelt at that raise bloodless, emotionless shells, passage as one of "G-d's midos or moment. What emotions surge but caring, feeling young b'nei traits." May I suggest that this through a mother at such a time, Torah passage teaches us a new and

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 19 special mida, one most clearly have to walk hundreds of miles to with a learning disability, physical revealed at the splitting of the Red hear a shiur, as do many of our handicap, language difficulty, or Sea Soviet brethren. We are grateful that foreign background, and take When the angels wished to sing food of eveiy variety is available in responsibility for his or her pro­ a song of praise upon the destruc­ Kosher form. We are thankful that, gress. Our children should read tion of the Egyptians, G-d rebuked in democratic lands, our homes may deeply and often of the spiritual them saying: "The work of My hands be full of seforim, proudly display heroism and triumphs of the past is drowning In the sea and you are mezuzos and menoros, and our generation. They should undertake singing?" (Megilla lOb). children's tzitzis can proclaim their learning and chessed projects that It must be noted that when G-d Yiddishkeit are difficult, challenging, and will chastised the angels He did not But where is the challenge? Where therefore be so satisfying to accomp­ simply say: "Human beings are can they point to a hard-won Torah lish. Let us make sure that eveiy dying," but the more personal: "that accomplishment, obstacles hurdled, child has a maasei yadai to which to point, and thus discover room to add to the accomplishments of his predecessors. If they can be proud In many ways, our youth is suffering from of spiritual attainments they can the Spiritual Silver Platter Syndrome call their own, perhaps the next generation will have less need to pile up useless acquisitions to give themselves an identity. which I made with My hands.... " difficulties overcome? Where is their Working with those who are less One of the Implications of this maasei yadai-the only thing advantaged will also help develop choice of words must be that it is about which one ultimately cares? that "Jewish heart," which has natural and appropriate to care This malaise goes even deeper. proven so elusive. more about what one has created Chazal describe the shoteh as "one The Ramosayim Tzofim (p. 57) than about other things. Our sages who destroys that which he is given" writes that he once went to the (Bava Metzia 38a) commented that ( Chagiga 4a). G-d teaches us by His Rebbe, Reb Bunim of Przysuche to "A person would rather have one own majestic example that the complain that because of his great measure of that which he himself ultimate level of caring results from kavana when praying, he was ex­ has planted than nine measures concern for one's own creations. periencing horrible headaches. from someone else." Conversely, the lowest human level "What has the head to do with is the one who values nothing, for In many ways, our youth is suf­ prayer?" responded the Rebbe. he has never been able to call fering from the Spiritual Silver "Prayer is called 'service of the something "the work of my hands.'' Platter Syndrome, which Reb Meir heart'" ITaanls 2b}. Indeed, Divine I propose that as many children Simcha described In the Meshech service certainly requires more Chochmo. Thank G-d, they do not as possible should "adopt" a child heart than we have been giving. Perhaps another aspect of the solution is that we not be as con· cemed with purely academic ac­ Tochnit complishment. We tend to be veiy rough on our children, education­ BAISYAAKOV ally, demanding the highest marks Bayit Vegan. P.O.B. 16406, Jerusalem, Israel and perfection in evety subject. But this is not what the holy A Reishis Chochmo taught nearly seminary program for the Bais Yaakov four centuries ago. high school graduate. ". . . And although they might stammer at reciting a verse • Intensive program of Limudei Kodesh • Outstanding mechanchim because they cannot read, G·d • Tiyulim • Warm atmosphere • College accreditation loves them, as the passage says • Teacher training program with certificates n>m< ''~ 1?m 'vediglu-and His ban­ • Emphasis on midos and character ner over me is love' (Shir Hashirim 2:4). Do not read 'banner' but 'his For more information contact P.O.B. 16406 skipping' (a play on the word Jerusalem Israel 02-422-062 or call: 718-846-4695 or 718-441-9495 digloJ"-i.e .. even if a child misses words in his davening, he is still Rabbi Yehoshua Freilach, Dean beloved. (Perek Gidul Banim, Rabbi Mordechal Adelman, Menahel Munkatch-lsrael. p. 246b}. The

20 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 author goes on to note that the teaches us a lesson in setting res­ numerical value Qf the words v'di­ trictions in our food consumption: glo alai, which are used here to " 'For your food ... the food Qf establish the premise that G-d If children can be your household and life for your loves children even when they are proud of spiritual maidens' (Mishlei 27.26). Disci­ not pelfect add up in gematria to pline your maidens in derech eretz. 159,just as the wordfor child itself. attainments they can Do not accustom your children to kattan. call their own, meat and wine." Rashi explains perhaps the next that one should teach one's child­ V. Honesty Begins at Home ren to subsist on simple basicfoods. generation will have Shlomo Hamelech indeed teach­ es us quite succinctly: "Better is a hazal warn us (Succa 46bl. less need to pile up dinner of simple vegetables where "One should not promise to there is love than an entire ox where give a child something and useless acquisitions C there is hatred" (Mishlei 15, I 7). The then fall to give it because he Gaon of Vilna explains, "It is best thereby teaches him to lie." We are to give themselves an for a person to eat what he requires sometimes cavalier in our dealings identity. and no more, and even that should with children, thinking that hones­ be simple, as are plain vegetables." ty in such matters is not really seri­ Is that what we have in mind ous business. But it is in fact the about a decade earlier, in 1842: when we tum down our children's most serious business of all. the "Every parent is obligated to request for more nosh, and then business of eternity. So serious, in guide his childfrom earliest child­ gorge ourselves on a 500 foot long fact, that it deserves an entire hood not to be stubborn and obsti­ smorgasbord in preparation for a article, not a mere few lines. nate. if a child refuses to eat meal fit for a sultan? Furthermore, the child who lis­ something. the parent shouldforce Despite halachic problems with tens annually to his parents schem­ him to eat that food in order to blessings and washing before a ing to cheat on their income tax can­ uproot this repugnant traitfrom hts not be expected to tell the truth meal. improprieties such as eating personality." when standing, we persist in mak­ about who broke that expensive In the area of our eating habits, vase. What is really the difference? ing the smorgasbord an essential we have totally lost the ancient ideal part of our simchos. Why? It under­ the child thinks. of histapkus-living within limita­ cuts both Jewish law and the entire tions. The Gemora (Chulin 84al concept of restraint. VI. Restraint Begins Early

e all try to be good parents and there is a special satis­ W faction in fulfilling a AN URGENT REMINDER child's wish. Yet. here is where we FROM must be strong and not give in to i the little princes. The royal treat­ ment should be reserved for physical CHEVRA DOR YESHORIM safety and spiritual growth. In other areas, the child must learn restraint. YOUNG PEOPLE OF MARRIAGEABLE AGE MUST BE TESTEO When Reb Aryeh Leib Qf Ger was in order to prevent the scourge of Tay-Sachs disease from striking the next a young child, he once expressed generation, in accordance with the directives of the Gedolei Hadar. a dislike for a certain food. 'What you don't like kasheh (groats)?" his SCHOOLS and YESHIVOS: sickly father exclaimed. Summon­ Please call 718-384-2332 if you are ing all his failing strength, the interested in having testing done for students. father who was to die young in­ Genetic counseling is also available. stilled a lifetime lesson into his Call for an appointment: child. "It is groats that you shall eat (718) 384·6060 or (914) 783·1370 for forty days." And so he did. and Confidentiality assured. grew up to be the Gerrer Rebbe, the Sfas Emes (Rabbi A Y. Bromberg. Rebbes of Ger. ArtScroll, p. 20). CHEVRA DOR YESHORIM, INC. The classic Chassidic work, Maor 160 Wilson Street, 1-B, Brooklyn, NY 11211 Vshemesh (Parshas Mattos) wrote

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here is nothing more impor­ Designed to acquaint the non~mathematician tant than our roles as par­ with interesting ways of applying mathematics T ents, yet for so many of us, to problems ofHalachah, Approaching Infinity decisions affecting our children are can be read once lightly by the layman for made haphazardly, ad hoc, and often enjoyment, and a second time more studiously out of impulse or anger. The Chofetz as a stimulating learning experience. Chaim gives us two foolproof metho­ 212 pps/illustrated, softcover, $10.95 dologies for ensuring that we are taking our parental responsibilities seriously. 0 ~Et~li~~'Mh~~i~l;li'1i~ First of all, 'just as one must have ~ 200 Airport Executive Park, Spring Valley, N.Y. 10977 Visa & MasterCard accepted t"J Tel. (914) 356-2282/Toll free, 800-237-7149 Send foe youc free copy of set times to study Torah, so must our new 64~page Jubilee catalog.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 23 Our Entire Family at

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/ ' Portrait of a Great Mechanech

ho had the greatest influ­ TEACHING-A FORM OF a measure of birth pains in the ence in forming you as you PARENTING creation of a talmid, and he should W are today? Almost invaria­ expect to encounter many chal­ bly, the answer given is "parents and he Gemora tells us "Kol ha­ lenges along the way. teachers." Conversely, teachers melamed ben chaveiro To­ Perhaps the key aspect of the reb­ polled as to the most rewarding T rah maaleh alav hakasuv bi-father role is described by the aspect of their profession usually k'ilu yelado--One who teaches his Rambam in Hilchos Talmud respond that it is the opportunity friend's son Torah is considered as Torah: "Tzmich adam l'hizaher to shape a person and have positive though he had given birth to him" b'talmidav u'l'ohavom, sheheim impact on him-or her.* Yet, such (Sanhedrin). The Gemora learns habonim A person is obligated to great teachers are hardly the rule. this from the Torah's description: love his talmidim for they are the One wonders: What makes a great "V'eileh toldos Aharon u'Moshe. children." And if this was true in teacher? Can a merely good teacher These are the children of Aharon times of the Rambam, it is certainly develop into a great one? Is there and Moshe." In other words, even true in our day. Today, teachers a way to teach people to become though Aharon was the biological must love their students, for some­ great teachers? For some clues to father of his sons, they were also times it is the only real love they will the answers to these questions, let considered Moshe Rabbeinu's chil­ be getting. Sociologists describe our us draw on both classic sources and dren because he taught them Torah. current era as the "Age of Divorce." real-life experiences to paint the In this drasha, Chazal are in fact This is a situation that affects us portrait of the great mechanech indicating that a teacher must be in the Torah world, as well. One of What must he be? What must he like a parent. And just as having the tragic by-products of this phe­ do? and How should he do it? children involves chevlei leida, nomenon is that children who deal birth pains. and tzar gidul banim, with anger and recrimination and the difficulties of raising children, pain at home look to teachers for Rabbi Frand is a maggid shiur in Yeshiva Ner a rebbi, too, can expect to endure the love that was traditionally Israel, Baltimore. The theme of this article was originally presented as a lecture at the 1989 received from parents. Torah Umesorah Convention. Tapes of his weekly *Obviously, great teachers are both men and One mechanech relates how he halacha~hashkafa lectures on the Parsha, wo1nen, and their students are boys and girls. delivered weekly in Agudath Israel of Baltimore. To keep matters simple, all references will be in was once teaching a class that in­ have won a nation-Wide audience. the mascuHne. cluded a boy from a broken home-

The Jewish Obseroer. October 1989 25 ponse: "He learned with me during Children who deal with recess." The rebbi that will spend that extra time is the one that makes pain at home look to the strong impression on the child. And even the smallest of children respond. A first grader here in teachers for love. Baltimore once left his "Parsha Sheef' in school, and the rebbi drove the father had deserted the mother your father is still alive, but is he to the child's home to hand-deliver and all the children. This child still my father? Does he still care it. The incredulous mother turned suffered greatly from the home about me after all these years of to her little one and asked, "Shauli, situation. He was withdrawn, never separation?" what do you say?" The child spoke up in class, no matter how Tragically, many children today immediately responded: "That's my the rebbi tried to involve him in are asking this painful question­ rebbif' ... the extra mile rebbi. ... discussions. As the year progressed, whether they are verbalizing it or Another hallmark of parenthood the child sunk deeper into his state not, "Is my father still alive?" It falls is the refusal to give up on a child of isolation. One day, as the rebbi upon the rebbi to become a surro­ in total despair, regardless of the retold the story of Yoseif and his gate parent, to provide that love that difficulties involved. One always brothers, he posed to the class a is sometimes missing in the home. comes up with another idea, a new question that many commentaries And as the words of the Rambam plan when the previous one fails. ask: "After hearing his brothers are pertinent for every generation, Hope springs eternal when we deal express their concern for their they are certainly relevant to our with our own children, and so too father, how could Yoseif still ask, times: A rebbi must love his stu­ must it be with the ta/mid-child. A 'Ha'od avi chai?-ls my father still dents. This may well be what our re bbi must always seek to find the alive?'" Chazal meant when they said that essence of goodness in the child, no The Rebbi waited for an answer. a rebbi must be "bivchinas av," that matter how well hidden it is. After almost an entire year of never a rebbi is in the category of a parent. having anything to volunteer, this "HE TREATED ME LIKE A SON" child raised his hand and told the EXPRESSIONS OF PARENTAL class, "I know what Yoseif meant. LOVE IN THE CLASSROOM ndeed, a recurrent statement Yoseif was asking 'Ha'odAvi Chai­ that one hears about great reb­ is my father still alive?' I know that erhaps the most important I beim and great teachers is: "He expression of the love of the treated me like a son." The revered P rebbi-as-parent for his tal­ "Alterof Slobodka," Reb Nasson Tzvi Thousands of avid subscribers all over the world ore roving mid-son is the same boundless care Finkel was, in effect. the ultimate about~- - the new periodical for the entire family. Here's Why: and concern that a parent has for rebbi of many of us in the United Each inspiring tole each child. The Gemora alludes to States. It is difficult to imagine the in s-.L- is on """ '1_· ~-;;;:J7 original gem ,-;~·- f!: this in calling Moshe Rabbeinu the status of Torah in America without ~·). __ .. -/_,£~,-// written by the king . ~-i\.)'Ci;··'··.·."-'·,... father of Aharon's children for the Alters talmidim: Reb Reuvain }~!;;_,_..i [}' of storytellers, ~· '.:' '-.:. _ ifljf' . Hanoc:h Teller, - . , · having taught them.After all, Moshe Grozovsky, Reb Aharon Kotler, Reb ~ ,_. -( whose_ s!ories hove ,, .-. ,(· .ijfj'; 1 Rabbeinu did teach Torah to all of Yaakov Kamenetzky and Reb Yitz­ /!' ~ :. tfmlled ond · \ "=~="'-- \ i ~ ""' uplifted Jewish )' · Klal Yisroel, yet only Aharon's chok Hutner, n'.)1J? D)r1::n, were all audiences for over a decode. children are considered his. The talmidim of the Alter of Slobodka. Attractively designed and produced on high-quality paper, Maharal reasons that Moshe Rab­ Those who studied in Yeshivas Ner each issue contains a timely s!ory about the holiday it heralds Acdoimed by parents and educators alike, every issue of beinu must have devoted extra time Yisroel in Baltimore were privileged ~- includes: o feoture length story onnoto1ed with o vocobulory-exponding glossary, o biography of a fzoddik or and effort to them, above and to a glimpse of who the Alter was tzoddekes for teenagers, on easy·to--read Joie for beginners, beyond what he had given to the rest from the Rosh Hayeshiva, Reb o corloon episode of "Ve Ivel 1he Wagon Driver," a parents' ond teachers' guide lor effective use of oil the material, and of Klal Yisroel, earning him the Yaakov Yitzchok Halevi Ruderman, much more. status of their parent. This extra 7">1. Again and again we heard him ~- wbscribers con Joke odvontoge of spectacular savings on books and cassettes not ovoiloble elsewhere.• caring-this extra mile, so to speak stress this one theme: "I felt like a Join the ~- sensalion and receive o delightful "story-letter" three t;mes o year: Rosh Hoshono, Chanukoh, that Moshe Rabbeinu went-made son to the Alter." The Alter accomp­ and Purim. It's entertaining, intriguing, informative, ond him a father to Aharon's children. lished this by showing unbelievable educot;onol. You'll cherish every word. Subscribe Jodoy - don't be left outl This extra effort that a rebbi ex­ concern for him. The Rosh Yeshiva •Aw1lal>lo onli lt\rouQh sub•<:r1p11on J\ll\$5 00 1$7 bl) CAN.II: J SO) lot a OOO·)"'lf suO:o;r1pt1on pends is not lost on children-not related the following: 37 W.sl 37111$!., •t11Fl., MY, IY10Cl\8"31'Dr Toiomo Om Mf:A2H\ 121 Woodsl«oi A" Lon~oo NW1 t 9RL • A~ei Ha!:;r• 4Sf'/ Jerusalem 91 701 even on the smallest children. An ap­ He was discussing a topic in r------1 INAMt ___.__ ADDRESS~----··- I plication to a well-known yeshiva Talmud with the Alter, when Reb I I included the following question: Lazer Yudel Finkel, the Alters son L--===-=-.:-==-.:::-==-==--=-.::..~:::.:-=._ _J 'What did your favorite rebbe do (who was already Rosh Yeshiva of that made him special?" One res- the Mir at that time) returned for

26 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 a visit after an absence of over seven The great teacher or rebbi kindles years. The Alter nodded toward his a desire to learn that lasts a lifetime. son but did not interrupt his con­ He welcomes the uninitiated into versation with our Rosh Yeshiva. the world ofleamingand helps them The Rebbetzin, somewhat per­ catch a glimpse of a wond_rous uni­ turbed at this seeming neglect of verse. A perplexing Gemora ( Chulin their son, later protested to the Alter, 137b) recounts how Reb Yochanan ''Why did you ignore your son?" remembers that, as a student. he sat The Alter pointed to the young in the Yeshiva where Rav was learn­ Yaakov Yitzchok Ruderman and ing Torah from Rebbi. Being a said, "Ehr is oich a zun-He is also younger student, he sat seventeen a son." rows behind Rav and watched the The Alters words only served to interaction between Rebbi-Rab­ underscore deeds that were at least beinu Hakadosh-and Rav, as a as eloquent. The Rosh Hayeshiva student. The Gemora comments related that once, when he was but "Vnafik zekukin denura mi'pumei fourteen years old, he was invited d'Rav l'pumei d'Rebbi-Sparks of to move into the Alters house. One fire flew between Rav and Rebbi­ stormy Winter night, he was suffer­ The Alter anan stay? Why remain in an envir­ lantern for him and stayed at the ing and studyjng in general. onment that overwhelms rather open doorway of his home, talking to him for the duration of the ordeal, comforting him later, throughout the night. A rather bizarre occupa­ C.l.T.Y. tion for the Alter of Slobodka-but COMMUNITY INSTITUTE OF TELSHE YESHIVA which parent would do less? The Presents result of this care and concern was ANEW 75 MINUTE TAPE BY RABBICHA!M D. KELLER that Rabbi Ruderman '"" always felt like an "emeseh" son of the Alter. A talmid who had accompanied ''Midos-The Measure the Rosh Hayeshiva to Eretz Yis­ roel relates that he traveled With of Man'' him to visit the kever (gravesite) of an in-depth Torah perspective on human character traits as they the Alter. Upon nearing the kever, effect man's speech. Also still available, tht popular two tape set the Rosh Hayeshiva asked that the talmid remain some distance away. "How to Raise Children by Really Trying" As the Rosh Hayeshiva approached the kever alone, the Rosh Haye­ To otder fill out the coupon below. shiva broke down and cried uncon­ trollably like one cries for a parent. r------.·------1 The Rosh Hayeshiva was not I Please send me: I merely visiting kever tzaddikim­ I __ copies of "Midos-the Measure of Man" at $6 per tape I he was visiting kever avos. I __ copies of "How to Raise Children by Really Trying;' I I at $IO per two-tape set I WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF LEARNING I My check for $ is enclosed, payable to I I Telshe Yeshiva-Chicago. I hat must the rebbi teach? What must he do? Ob­ I Name I W viously a great rebbi must I ~- I teach the curriculum-not a simple I I task at all. given the multi-media I City State ip I assault on the students' senses he must compete With. But this is one ~------·Send order form to: CITY, 3535 W. Foster, Chicago, Ill. 60625 of many aspects of teaching that are

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1be Most Trusted Name in Kosher Poultry 1-800-EMPIRE-4 than Instructs? Rabbi Avrohom loud voice, and l thought, "I never Michel Twerski of Milwaukee once Chaim Feuer once commented that heard anyone shouting about a commented that this is not simply this experience gave Reb Yochanan math problem or even a pasuk in a halachic detail in Hilchos Tal­ a glimpse of the breath-taking depth Chumash What's going on here?" mud Torah but rather it defines of Torah knowledge. There was an They were definitely involved in a how Torah must be taught: One exhilarating, dynamic, explosive unique endeavor, delving into the must love teaching so much that he world oflearning to be explored, and intricacies of the Talmud. This rebbi would do it for free.•• witnessing it from the seventeenth exhibited a remarkable Ahavas row, he wanted to enter that world HaTorah-a love for Torah-that REACHING EACH INDIVIDUAL and be a party to its holiness and demonstrated that he truly cher­ ow does one go beyond grandeur. ished Torah study. He did not limit merely teaching a subject This does not only happen to the his learning to simply preparing for H and succeed in affecting Reb Yochanans; every student can class. It was obvious to us that he people? First, a teacher must know similarly be instilled with a desire studied on his own whenever he his talmidim. He must know the for learning. When l was a young could. It was an important, integral strengths and weaknesses of each. student in the Seattle Hebrew part of his own life. and he trans­ The Gemora in Berachos says: Academy, one particular rebbi had mitted this paramount value to us. "Haroeh uchlisei YisroeL if one sees a profound influence not only on the His joy was infectious. a vast crowd of Jews he says the school, but on the entire city. Were There was yet another factor. It beracha, Baruch Chacham Hara­ I to pinpoint what it was about him was obvious that he loved teaching. zim-Blessed is He who is wise to that made him so special, it was that This is a requirement of every secrets." Whereas the conventional he introduced me to the world of successful teacher. In Hilchos Tal­ reaction to seeing a vast throng of Gemora. Many times I did not un­ mud Torah the Rambam includes people is to view them as a huge, derstand just what he was talking a clause: "Ma ani bechinam-just faceless mass, Chazal instruct us about. but l could see his attitude, as G-d taught Torah without charg­ to be impressed with the unique­ his enthusiasm, his excitement. and ing tuition, so too must each rebbi ness of each and every one of them. I knew that we were dealing with teach Torah for free-gratis." Rabbi Indeed, the commentaries explain something extraordinary, some­ thing that I wanted to share. I recall him discussing a passage in Gemora with some older boys In a KOL HAYESHIVA OF YESHIVA STATEN ISLAND 1nv1tes you to Join **The salaries rebbeim and teachers receive are 11 not direct payment for their effort, but compen­ sation for funds they would earn elsewhere in T'NACH COMES ALIVE'' the time spent teaching. We entrust our children to rebbeim, as valued professionals. Does it not A serres of tapes on T'Nach personal1t1es and controversial Torah topics, foUow that they should be paid accordingly? presented by Rabbi Gershon Weiss (Menahel of Yesl11va Staten Island) Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky once commented cit U1e Torah UmesorJh Machon lectures that both the bank president and the mainte­ nance man have the keys to !he bank. By SREISHIS SERIES: NACH SERIES: consulting their salaries, one can recognize who is in charge. 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The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 29 the beracha to refer to G-d knowing between the role of the dayan and student his own strengths and vast the secrets that are hidden in each that of the teacher. The dayan must potential. The Gemora tells us that and every one of that mass. Perhaps illuminate with a bright monochro­ Rabbi Elazar b'Reb Shimon had a a rebbi should similarly say before matic light, while the teacher must son who strayed from the proper he enters the classroom every morn­ be like a star, which is multihued derech. Rabbi Yehuda Hanassi, in ing: "Baruch Chacham Harazim"­ and multifaceted. A dayan must an effort to bring this young man I am not looking at a giant blob of dispense uniform justice-not back from his wayward path, con­ perpetual motion but rather at colored, not shaded, but emitting ferred semicha on him and subse­ twentyjive unique individuals. the same unvarying light for all. But quently brought him to the Beis each literally a world unto himself. it is the task of the teacher to help Midrash to be tutored. Every day, The Gemora (Bava Basra. Sb) children grow. Each child may need when this returning son of Reb likens the teacher to the eternal a different approach, so the teacher Elazar b'Reb Shimon felt tempted to stars, Kochavim l'olam va'ed­ must sparkle with varying shades revert to his former life, Rebbi eileh melamdei tinokos. In con· of crimson and indigo and aquam­ reminded him, "You have semicha, trast, the dayan ijudge) is compared arine. He discovers which light you are a Rav. You are a chacham to the brightness of the sky-Zahar makes this special plant flourish, You must continue with your stu· harokia-zeh dayan shedan din that unique neshama thrive. dies." When Rabbeinu Hakadosh emes l'amito. The Nesivos, in his In the informal survey that I took took the bold step of giving the sefer Nachlas Yaakov on Chu­ regarding exceptional teachers, the young man semicha, he was telling mash, comments that the Gemora most important and recurring state­ him what he could in fact become. is portraying the marked difference ment was: "That teacher made me Rebbi was changing this person's feel great about myself." The excel­ self-image. lTitimately the task of lent teacher was able to show each every rebbi is to make every student feel that he has tremendous poten· tial. (See "The Chaver," by Rabbi Y. Miller, JO, Nov. '83.) Bederech Eitz Hachayim, a bio­ graphy of Rabbi lssar Zalman Meltzer '"'" presents a fascinating account of how many great Rabbo­ I DO! nim and Roshei Yeshivos related to Reb lssar Zalman; yet all the stories are basically the same. A talmid approaches Reb Issar Zalman to tell I DO! him an original shtikel Torah, Reb lssar Zalman listens, commenting enthusiastically. Wherever possible, The Pruzansky he compliments the effort. When a talmid needs correction, it is done Family Caterers with "perhaps this is what you AT THE NEW mean ...." Everyone who visited Reb ~~~.,, !ssar Zalman walked out feeling that he indeed had a future as a talmid chacham. This was the key to Reb Issar Zalman's approach: making J;e e1tateat1 someone feel good about himself by 431 Avenue P, Brooklyn, NY showing him his vast potential. 718-339-0200 Here, then, are the ultimate goals We wish all of our friends a "Gut Gebentcht Yohr" of the rebbi: To change the talmid, and invite you to come see our: to light a fire in him that will never be extinguished, to open up the Ma)l,nificent New Chupah Room mysteries of learning for him, and Separate Smor)l,asbord Reception Area to make him feel that he can con­ Additional Bridal Suite quer worlds with his own G-d·given VALET PARKING D FRENCH SERVICE strengths and endless potential as GLATT KOSHER CATERING an olam malei befnei atzmo-a world unto himself, to be the next ... THE ACCENT IS ON EXCELLENCE! newly-forged link in our timeless Supervision of K'hal Adas Jeshurin or Hisachdus Harabonim available. mesorah. •

30 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 The complete Understand set of PlrkeiAvos Metsudah as never Machzorim before. $14.95 each 5 Vol. gift box set $75.00* softcover $8.95* Leather Bound hardcover $ l 0. 95 * maroon or blue $150.00** The .... e ichos Kitzur ew Shulchan eaning. Aruch

Vol. 1. 2, & 3 $13.95 ea.* $11.95"' Vol. 4 $14.95* in preparation L:'.:~_li.'.__ ___J_ ------Available at your local bookstore or directly from: I Israel Book Shoo, Inc. I 41 O Harvard St. Brookline. l.1a. 02146 Kuzari... I (617) 566-7113-4 I a lost I Please send me the following of the Metsudah Series: I treasure 1 I discovered 1 I I am enclosing a check or money order for $ I I (US. Func:ts) I hardcover I name I s14.95* I address ______I city. state. zip J ______,_ •Please- -add $2.00-- cover UPS-- for first volume-- ane1 so: for eam-- additional__ votume. _,,, / BRINGING UP CHILDREN IN A TORAH FAMILY written by Miriam Samsonowitz

told by Devora Dessler Olstein

A BAAL MUSSAR FROM KELM A BUSINESSMAN IN PRE-WAR EUROPE Memoirs qf my father, Reb Gedalya Dessler ? 11 ~t

MUSSAR ROOTS cern to them, while Torah study, mussar (ethics) and tikkun hami­ ooking back from the view of dos (self-improvement) were the real over half a century later. my preoccupations of their lives. My L father's personality is as tow­ uncle and my father were extremely ering to me now as it was when I close. For many years they lived was a child of ten. Until his death together in the same house, they ran at age 62, he was a guiding light to their businesses and tzeddaka me and my brothers and sisters in concerns in partnership, and my every aspect of our lives. Years later, uncle's second wife was even my when we were faced with severe mother's sister. They had an unus­ ordeals, the memory of his indom­ ual system for dividing the profits itable personality stood before our between them: each would take eyes, and gave us the strength to what he needed to sustain his persevere in our dedication to Torah Rabbi Gedalya Dessler'J'":H family, and the rest would go to and mitzvos. which was founded in Kelm, Lithua­ tzeddaka. People were amazed to My father, Chayim Gedalya Dess­ nia, relocated to Grubian. Russia. hear this because my father had five ler, was born in 1873, the youngest and then finally returned to Kelm. children whereas my uncle had only son of Yisroel David Dessler, a My father and his older brother, one son. Yet. such was the love and wealthy forest contractor in Home!. Reb Reuven Dov. studied for many harmony between them. White Russia. My grandfather and years in the Kelmer Talmud Torah, his brother were immensely and were profoundly influenced by RELIEF FOR REFUGEES wealthy. but they were also strictly the personality of the Alter. After devoted to Torah and mitzvos. They their marriages, they both settled in y childhood memories prominently contributed towards Home! where they managed large evoke the stormy years of maintaining the famous Talmud industrial enterprises in partner­ the Russian Revolution. Torah of Kelm headed by Rav Sim­ M ship. Their years in Kelm had left the pogroms of the Black Hundreds, cha Zissel Ziv (the Alter of Kelm). its indelible mark on them; their and the typhus epidemic that rav­ Mrs. Samsonowitz, a published writer, lives in wealth and their business affairs aged the many refugees from Jerusalem. always remained a secondary con- Lithuania and Poland who had fled

32 The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 to Russia. I remember some of the home to us for a meal and some­ them so they would be free to con­ many efforts of my parents and times to sleep. When all the beds in tinue their Torah studies. relatives to help whoever they could. our house were occupied, we would take the doors off their hinges and MY FATHER'S FORTUNES During the war, Rabbi Chaim Ozer OVERTURN Grodzenski, who was my uncle's make "beds" out of them. brother-in-law, and Rabbi Elchonon Every able-bodied man of draft age he Communists took over Wasserman lived with us temporar­ was taken into the anti-Semitic Home! in 1920. My uncle ily. Every room in our house was Russian army-even rabbinical stu­ T Reuven Dov had gone south taken over by another family of dents-unless he was already serv­ before with my oldest brother David, relatives who had fled inland to ing a vital army need. My father and because he needed a specially mild Russia from the battlefront. his uncle established an armament climate for his lung ailment. (It The hospitals were full of refugees factory in Tula. At first, all the work­ turned out that his constant cough­ who had fallen sick with typhus. Not ers in their factory were yeshiva ing was from a nutshell lodged in only was it difficult to acquire bachwim. When their army exemp­ his lung, from which he soon after medicine for them, but even food tions had been procured, my father died.) This saved him from the was scarce. My mother took a long hired elderly workers to replace Communists hands. My father roll of linen (an expensive item in those days) to the market and exchanged it for a sack of potatoes. My mother baked the potatoes in our oven and distributed them to the sick in the hospitals. Rabbi Katz from Klikel, Latvia, (father of Rabbi Dov Katz who wrote Tnuas Hamussar) and his family sat shiva at our home for his wife, BE SURE WITH who had died in the epidemic. People asked my mother, 'You're a .,,nv• ::i'Jn mother of five children; how can you bring people who have sick family members into your home?" KO-SURE. "Hashem will watch over us," was SLICED her firm reply. MUENSTER ·j Before the war, my father and his brother had founded a Tiferes Bach­ CHEEii!:'i:~_,__~--~ urim (a part-time yeshiva for young ..---,•,r• ~'" ~ ... men who had to work) in Home!. 5 11 ~!';!~ •3· 4 ;t:• ti • American Cheese With the influx of refugees, the stu­ .,,{): tow MOISTURE PART SKIM A dent body swelled. I remember one • • STRING CHEESE "7 • Baker's Cheese ~-.....";t:..."":.'r:::~ • Gouda Cheese woman from Poland who came to ~I • Mozzarella our house with her twelve-year-old • Muenster son, Tzvi. "Please supervise his • Ricotta Cheese • String Cheese studies and keep an eye on him." • Monterey Jack-Chive Of course, my father did. Not only • Monterey Jack-Hot Pepper did he show special interest in him, • Smoked American Cheese but he frequently invited this stu­ • Low-Fat, Low-Salt, Muenster "Light" l"OS\>\E>'I • Non-Fat Milk Powder dent over to eat on Shabbosos and :"li:iti'I iw:i Yomim Tovim.* 18 Single Wrapped Sl!ces During the war years, my father Pasteurii:ed Process American Cheese Introducing a full line of Cholov Yisroel would frequently go to the train quality cheeses, manufactured by some of station to receive refugees-even on ~~~- America's greatest cheese makers. Shabbos. He would bring them * Under the strict Rabbinical Supervision Nl':TWT. 120~_(340g) -~ of the Vaad Hakashrus of ,A"\""\W:>-, ~ *After the war, this bachur returned with his Baltimore, Rabbi Moshe -,.~'J family to Poland. Years later. in the late 2ffs, he Heineman, Administrator. ~ stole the border into Lithuania and came to learn in Kelm. When it came time to many off my oldest sister Chana, she was suggested 1nany excellent Torah scholars. She refused them all, preferring Ko~sun', tl1c cheese that's surely kPshcr ... and Cholot' Yisrocl, too.' -UC.Jj"07x::i., instead to many Tzvi Levin, who by then was an eminent scholar. They and their three children were killed by the Nazis in 1941.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 33 wasn't as fortunate. As soon as the going. The boarder saw that the Communists took over, they confis­ When all the beds situation at home was desperate. cated the money, possessions, and "Don't you have some item of value businesses of the wealthy. Over­ in our house were to sell?" he asked my father. ''I'll help night, my father became destitute, you sell it." My father had a small since they wouldn't even give an occupied by printing press hidden in the wood ordinary job to people who had been refugees, we would shack and he gave It to the man. rich. Soon it became difficult to even The next day, the police broke into find food for our family. The Com­ take the doors off our house and took my father away. munists confiscated a room of our The boarder was really an NKVD house and put in a Jewish boarder. their hinges and informer, one of many who had been One night, a close friend of my make "beds" out of planted in the homes of the formerly father approached him with a chest wealthy to check their every move. of jewels and gold and silver i terns. them. We didn't know where my father was His business had already been con­ for days. fiscated, and this was all that was My father opened up some planks left of his vast holdings. He wanted in the floor and hid the chest. IMPRISONMENT my father to hold these valuables for Our family, though, didn't have hey had imprisoned him and these kinds of articles to keep us him while he escaped the country. were daily torturing and T interrogating him. 'Where is your money?" they demanded again and again. He protested that he had none. One day, he heard the blood­ Profitable curdling screams of a woman being tortured in the next room. "That's your wife," they told him. "This will Projections continue until you reveal all." The screams intensified. "They just shot Feature Video Presentations a bullet in her leg. Soon they'll do the same to the other leg," they told for your Organization him. Finally, the screams stopped. An interrogator burst into the room triumphantly. "She finally told us Milstein Media Films where the money is hidden-under the floor! But you better tell it to us 4415 14th Ave. • Brooklyn, NY 11219 too to be sure that she didn't leave (718) 972-8600 out a detail or we'll have to continue with her some more." After days of starvation, lack of sleep and torture, my father was caught off guard. "She told you the hat rack about the chest under the floor!" he exclaimed. "It doesn't belong to us!" 5416 16th Avenue, Brooklyn, N.Y. "Aha! Now we got it out of you!" they gleefully spat out. . . . The --i(718) 871-2278 screaming woman had been just a r-.e' ruse. They came to our house that )P. -- ~ night, lipped up the floor and took away the chest of jewels. But my father was in graver danger than (,. :~:,';;) ~E•T::~IG before. They brought him before a court of three judges for a new clime: letting his family starve instead of KANGOL•LONDONFOG giving up his bourgeois valuables. CAPS• TIES The prosecutor demanded death as the only fitting punishment for this ;-,! form of "depravity." It was to my

34 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 Reuven and his Elya Lazer (known to us through his Michtav MeE­ liyahu-ed. note) had already pre­ ceded us there. From their huge fortune, all that remained to his father and his brother was 50,000 pounds sterling that they had laid away In an English bank. From this, my uncle and my father decided to start a new business endeavor, because on principle, they never wanted to take a cent for their Torah scholarship. THE EDUCATION IN OUR HOUSE very aspect of my father's life was a manifestation of his E devotion to Torah study and yiras Shomayim. The education we A portrait qf the Dessler Family. received was special: the values he father's good fortune that one ot the tallis, tefillin and siddur with him passed on to us penetrated deeply. judges had formerly worked for my because it was Shabbos, he had The fifty years of experience and father. "I know Dessler well," he told offered to give the entire food pack­ knowledge that I have since accrued the prosecutor. "If he didn't use the age-a veritable treasure in those cannot point out one thing that my money, it wasn't because he wanted turbulent times-to one of the father did that I could criticize. to withhold it from the government, guards if he would carry these We were in awe of him; we had but because he would never touch objects for him. Keeping Shabbos only to get one look from my father a penny that's not his." They decided meant more to him than the starva­ to put us in line. While he was very Instead to give him life imprison­ tion he was being subjected to daily. reserved in demonstrating his feel­ ment. For months we didn't know My father's sacrifice for Shabbos ings, we were keenly aware of how to where he had been taken. electrified me. Years later when I was intensely he loved and cared for us. Finally we found out that he was undergoing my own set of trials in We never heard loud voices or imprisoned in Leningrad. An uncle Russia, his example helped me stay screaming in our house. In fact, I paid a large sum for a food package strong, time after time. never heard an argument between to be brought to him in prison. My father decided that we had to my parents. How shocked I was My mother decided to fight the leave Russia immediately, and we when at age 15 I passed bya corridor decision of the court. Penniless, she left Russia to settle in Kelm. Reb and heard them quietly disagreeing traveled the huge distance to Mos­ cow to appeal to Lenin himself. She rode on the top of freight cars all 0'11~ 1111\!J:>n1J t:>1~ the way. She stood in a line that was blocks long, made up of people with CENTER FOR TEACHER TRAINING private requests to ask of Lenin. When her tum arrived, he agreed to [9 hinuch is a noble profession. arrange a retrial. My mother hadn't As in all professions, skills are necessary for success. The Mercaz yet returned when we received a tele­ gram, "Dessler to be freed-Lenin." affords young Talmide.i Chachomim the opportunity to gain these We didn't recognize him when he vital skills. It provides the professional expertise in teaching practices returned home, for he was ema­ necessary to meet the challenges of our time-in the classroom and in ciated and his hair had turned com­ the community. If you are presently teaching or learning in your Kollel pletely white. by day, the Mercaz offers you nightly courses and lectures at our At home, we asked him if he had convenient Brooklyn center. received the package of food. His answer astonished us: he had FACULTY received it on Shabbos, and on that D RABBI JOEL KRAMER D MR. AV! SHULMAN very day he was transferred by foot D RABBI HILLEL MANDEL D RABBI BEREL WEIN to a different prison in Leningrad THE PROGRAM BEGINS RIGHT AFTER SUCCOS . FOR INFORMATION AND REGISTRATION CALL that was kilometers away from the RABBI YEHUDAH RUPP: 718-853-Slll first. Since he couldn't carry his L------' The Jewish Observer, October 1989 35 on a topic. I had always assumed There was little talk in our house listening to my father talk. He spoke that mothers and fathers automat­ that did not revolve around some continually of tikkun hamidos, and ically have the same view on aspect of Torah. My father never frequently he brought in the parsha everything. spoke about business or money. or something he was learning. Once I used to wake up in the morning Food was another topic that was not my brothers got into a fight. That to the niggun of his learning, and worth wasting words on. There was elicited long discussions for days I would hear the same niggun when no such thing as a child saying, "I about how terrible machlokes (dis­ I fell asleep at night. My father would don't like this dish!" or "This food agreement) is. One time I com­ daven with the 6:30 a.m. minyan is not tasty!" To this day it rankles mented to a friend of mine who and then would learn straight to my ear when I hear a person talking attended a different school that a 12:30. My mother begged him to about this. If a person felt the food girl in my class had received a low taste some food after davening, but lacked salt he politely asked for the mark. My comment got around, and he never would. In fact. he fasted salt-shaker. Ifhe did not want to eat, brought a pile of disciplinary mea­ every Monday and Thursday, to the for whatever reason. he excused sures on my head. In school, I was very end of his life. himself and left without another penalized for a week by not being word and hungered until the next allowed to answer questions in 1"UJ meal. There was no such thing as class, and by my classmates not rummaging in the kitchen to find speaking to me. At home, there were nr.i?IU nN1!l1? ??!mn?1 110?? NJ something else. long talks for weeks on how detri­ i?>n i)J'.l Shabbos was unquestionably the mental it was to speak lashon hara, focal point of the week. Even as and how we must always look for children we felt that the main the positive in people. No finger was purpose of meals on Shabbos was pointed at me: it wasn't necesSal)'. i1NY.l n\Up 1'.l::IY.l\U to educate us in yiras Shomayim The lesson 1 learned was more O>Y.l\U >r.in1 1'1::11 and Torah. Each meal took two effective than any punishment. hours, and most of it was spent on Another time a fire broke out and burned our house down. My sister grabbed an insignificant object and ...,,,.,,.., ...... mnnm nmn mrn nim? ran out of the house to save it ,;;, ~l~~'-'_LE_T_M_E_H_EL_P_Y_OU~~ Father spoke to us then about why WITH YOUR in a moment of panic a person loses BUSINESS his head. ANO PERSONAL There was so much more to my INSURANCE father that I cannot even tell. He INSURANCE" Monticello (914} 796-1500 dressed and lived simply, and did IRVING SAFRIN Monsey (914} 425-1985 business no differently than any other honest businessman, but his whole aspiration in life was to attain those sublime levels in avodas Hashem that was the outlook of all who went through the Kelmer Tal­ At this time mud Torah. He did an amazing amount of chessed too, but, like a true mussar personality, he was an we would like expert at hiding it from the eyes of everyone, including his family. Many to wish our times he would leave for work in the morning and get sidetracked doing many friends a a chessed for a widow, a kalla or a nifter. ii:::i, t> i1r.l "n n1 i1 :i., n.:J LIVING IN POVERTY

rom 1922 until 1928, my uncle and father made three Brooklyn Union Gas F different attempts to start a business, but each time the effort ended in heavy losses. After the last attempt, our finan-

36 The Jewish Observer. October 1989 cial situation was precarious. We My oldest brother had been suf­ had to move out of our large house fering from leg tuberculosis off and to a small flat Small daily expenses on. Finally, in 1936 my mother had became an ordeal. Every month my to leave with him for Switzerland. father strained to find the money for For three years she nursed him back our school tuition. Even fresh bread to health, but these added expenses had become too expensive for us to were a big drain on our finances. MALOHN afford. But of all these new devel­ The three years until 1939 were opments, what pained my father the difficult ones for our family. My MIFAL most was that he was now saddled mother was in Switzerland, Reva Grand Reopening with debts. was in England visiting with Elya When in 1926 he saw that a small Lazar, and only my father and I were All new beautiful rooms, with town could not offer him financial together in Kovno. Relations had kitchen facilities. in heart of opportunities, he went to Kovno. He become worse with Germany over contacted a former chemical manu­ the years, so my father had given Baro Park for day or week. facturer from Hamburg with whom up his business with the Hamburg Near Shuls. take-out foods. etc. his father had done business. and company and had become an insu­ Profits to Mifal Torah Vodaas. wrote him, 'Tm Dessler's son and rance agent for an English firm. But I've come into hard times. But if you he carried on his way of life no Help Sfardishe youth return give me the materials I want on different from before. He would often to Yiddishkeit through Torah credit, I will pay you as soon as I go with Rabbi Gershon Gutman, a education in Yerushalayim and get remitted." The answer came dayan in Kovno, to collect for all back: "Since you're Yisroel David kinds of needs. Erev Shabbos he Tveria. Dessler's son, I'Il give you anything went with him from store to store Call you want" He became a manufac­ to remind Jews to close early for turer's representative selling chem­ Shabbos. Above all. I remember his (718) 851-2969 icals to different factory owners. Torah study, which he pursued with In Kovno he rented a small apart­ the same diligence as before. ment with two other men. He spent all week there and occasionally would come home for Shabbos. He subsisted on salty herring and bread, and would eat cooked meals only on Shabbos. "How could I afford luxuries if I owe people money?" was his answer to us when Be inspired daily with powerful and moving shiurim in English we found out years later about it given by the leading Torah personalities of Jerusalem. That He did not buy clothes for years, and did not even come home every special feeling of Jerusalem will join you in your car or home. Shabbos so he could pay off his The perfect way to change your debts more quickly. My mother also worked to pay our down time into Torah time. debts. One year she managed a small For Individuals · Choose from over 1,000 titles on: estate with a flour mill that she had inherited with herthree sisters from •Chumash •History • Hashkafa • Halacha •Women's topics her mother. People were amazed at • Holidays • and many more to suit your every interest. how brave she was to undertake this work all alone in the middle of For Communities - Choose from 4 different libraries. nowhere. Every few weeks I would A great way to encourage thousands of learning hours. walk over 24 kilometers to Kelm Each library includes numerous start-up accessories with a sum of money that would go towards paying off a bit more of the and free wall racks. debt Send for Details and Catalog to: DIFFICULT YEARS IN KOVNO m Aish HaTorah Audio Center tees n 1929 our family moved to Kov­ 900 Forest Avenue, Dept. Bl from no. We lived on a very modest Lakewood, NJ 08701 Jerusalem I standard because we still had debts to pay off.

The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 37 We became very close in this father, he took me aside and told My sister was still visiting with period. I helped him out in his busi­ that there was nothing to be done. Elya Lazar in England who had tried ness often. He would frequently We returned to Kovno in the sum­ to find her a suitable match. My point out that financial stature is mer of 1937. My father had asked father had written him immediately not important and how fleeting it the doctor months before how to upon returning to Kovno, "I want Is. He would remind me of how my prepare himself so he could fast on Reva to have a ben Torah. It doesn't mother worked so hard for us. and Yorn Kippur. The last Pesach he matter if they don't have money." all the things that she had done for insisted on eating a full kezayis of After Pesach his condition wor­ us. He did not spare a word of praise marror. even though by then it was sened and he had to be hospitalized. if he felt my efforts deserved it. It very difficult for him to swallow any­ But he strengthened himself and was not important whether the food thing. He was losing weight con­ called for his close friend Rabbi Ger­ I prepared for him was tasty or not. stantly and suffered great pain. but shon Miyadnek. the rash yeshiva in only that I had worked hard to make we never heard one groan or com­ Kelm. A few days later. Rav Gershon something tasty for Shabbos. plaint from him. He would never tell came in with a Kelmer yeshiva In 1937, my father fell sick with us. "I can't eat now because It hurts." bachur to see him. I left right away. cancer. The doctors in Kovno were He would merely refuse with a Only weeks later did I find out what unable to treat it. so I traveled with gesture and say. "There's no need the meeting was about: he had my father to Paris. The doctors in for that now." Only months later did asked this bachur whom he had Paris sent us to the biggest expert I understand how poor his health known from the years we lived in of this disease who was then in was even then. because he hid Kelm if he would marry Reva. Reva Strassbourg. After examining my everything from us. was beautiful and graced with every virtue. Her outstanding quality was her selflessness; all she ever thought about was what she could do for NOW AVAILABLE others. So it wasn't hard for Ziesel Levin to agree. My father telegramed TO AGUDATH ISRAEL MEMBERS Reva that he had a chasan for her and she should come home. It was typical of all of us that our father's COMPREHENSIVE word was so highly respected that it was considered almost inviolable. MAJOR MEDICAL Reva agreed right away and pre­ HEALTH INSURANCE PROGRAM pared to come home to her engage­ ment. Available to New York State residents only For Information Call: A BUSINESSMAN'S TRIBUTE y father was getting weaker 212-797-7388 and weaker. My mother Mand I maintained a con­ Between 9:30 AM and 12:30 PM stant vigil by his bed. On the last day of his life. Erev Lag B'Omer

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38 The Jewish Observer. October 1989 1938, he kept slipping into semi­ consciousness. I would alarm the nurse, who would give him an injection to revive him. Required Reading During his last minutes, I was at my father's bedside together with Rabbi Gershon Miyadnek, Rabbi The Torah requires that we be committed not only to Gutman and my brother-in-law. the performance of mitzvot but also to the knowledge of When he lost consciousness again, them. Indeed, performance and knowledge go hand in I cried out for the nurse to come. hand since one can only perform\the mitzvot if one is She shrugged her shoulders this knowledgeable about them. time. "Why do you torture your father?" she rebuked me. "Don't you see that he has only four minutes Hundreds of years ago the Rambam composed the Mishneh Torah with the inten­ Introducing the latest to live?" addition My father opened his eyes and he tion of clarifying to every Jew, great or small, all the laws and practices he is obligated to t.o the quietly replied, "Nurse-if you know Mishneh how to use them, four minutes are fulfill concerning each and every mitzvah. also important." With great effort, he The highly acclaimed Maznaim Mishneh Torah turned to me and said, "Devorala, Torah series presents a modern translation of no matter what difficulties you come the Rambam's classic work. Each volume across in life, always face them with includes a vowelized Hebrew text. a facing the chinuch that we gave you in our translation and a concise but inclusive com· house." l replied tearfully, "How menrary. could you think otherwise, Papa!" Now available from Maznaim : He closed his eyes and we saw his Hikhot Tefila Part II clarifies Hilchot Sais HaHechira covers the halachot the governing principles of lips saying Viduy (confessional regarding construction of the Holy Temple. individual and communal prayer, prayer). And then he was still. The volume includes nearly two dozen diagrams choice of chazan, conduct in a My sister had been delayed in synagogue. the reading ot the viral to a clear understanding of the Temple's Germany one day in transit. When Torah, and Birchas construction ...... $13.95 Kohanim. she arrived, the funeral procession $13.95 had just begun: she had missed Hilchot l'lelachim deals with the halachot '------' seeing my father alive by a few governing a Jewish king and other aspects of public policy. Included in this text hours. The street was black with are the Rambam's views of the Messianic people who had come to the levaya. In Time for Age as well as a series of halachot that They eulogized my father in four The New Year ... Christian censors had removed from nearly shuls in Kovno. I heard things about all texts of the Mishneh Torah him that our family had never Hik:hot Teshuva sets forth all the ' ... ' ...... ' .... ' ... ' . $15.95 requirements for true repentence. known. At some of the eulogies there Explained here in detail are the Hilchot Chometz Umatzoh contains all was so much crowding that we could operation of the principle of Reward the information the Rambam felt was & Punishment as weH as such elusive not even come in ourselves. necessary for observing the mitzvot con­ During the shiva, many promi­ concepts as the "world to come," the nected with the removal and destruction of nent rabbonim and communal fig­ "days of Moshiach" and the proper attitudes and motivations in chametz. the preparation and consumption ures came to visit us. But what l petform!ng mitzvot $13.95 never forgot until today is a busi­ of matzah and the many derails of the Hilchot Shofar, Sukkah, Vlulav Seder night ...... $13.95 nessman who paid us a call and told enables the average person to gain a us, "l heard many rabbonim eulog­ genera! overview and fundamental Hilchot Kriat Shema - Hitchot Telila izing Reb Gedalya. But you haven't understanding of the ha!achic issues describes the basic principles of the most said all there is to say unless you involved in the practical perfor­ frequently practiced Jewish Jaws, the reci­ mances of the 3 mitzvot that have a businessman come and testi­ characterize the festivals of Rosh tation of the Shema and our prayers fy about him. He was so impeccably Hashana and Sukkot. $13.95 ...... ' $13.95 upright in his dealings that he far preferred to lose big profits than to Hilchot Deotand Talmud Torah concern do one thing that was slightly themselves with how one should structure wrong. Only a businessman who one's emotional and intellectual devel- knows how tempting the world of opment ...... $15.95 commerce is can bear witness to how exceptional Reb Gedalya was."•

The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 39 • One of the world's out

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THE SCAPEGOAT

I. A UNIQUE FEATURE OF the person charged with sacrificing How do we distinguish between the A UNfQUE SERVICE the sa 'ir leAzazel is not the Kohein offerings of witchcraft and an auoda Gadol. who performs the rest of the mandated by G-d. designed to mong the most unique fea­ Yorn Kippur service. but rather an "appease" Satan? tures of the atonement of assistant. The Torah specifically A Yorn Kippur is the sa'ir le­ refers to him as ish itti-a man of Azazel, the so-called scapegoat. It Is the moment-a seemingly deroga­ II. OF SINS INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL unique in two ways: no other sac­ toiy term denoting a temporariness. rifice is so sweeping in its capacity The Ramban emphasizes ve.IY as an atonement. Eveiy other sac­ strongly that although the scape­ et us begin our study of the rifice relates to a specific sin. Even goat Is a sacrifice designed to "give role of the scapegoat in aton­ the public sin offerings brought on the Satan his due." it is nonetheless L ing for evil by examining the the festivals are meant to atone performed in response to G-d's com­ first appearance of Ra (evil) in specifically for defiling the Temple. mand. AB If to emphasize this point. Creation. Seforim refer to the two The sa 'ir leAzazel. however. relates the Torah command never to bring stages of Ra: before the eating of the to all sins-even to intentional ones. sacrifices outside the Temple imme­ fruit of the eitz hadaas (tree of What is the nature of this sacrifice diately follows the portion dealing knowledge) and afte1wards. It is that gives it this sweeping scope of with the Yorn Kippur sacrifices, as generally accepted (see Moreh Nev­ atonement? if to emphasize that sacrifices are uchim I. Ch.2; Nefesh Hachaim l,6)

A YomKippur Essay

Moreover. the manner of the only to broughtfor G-d in response that before Adam and Chava ate of sacrifice is peculiar. It is not to His command, with the Yorn the eitz hadaas, the yeitzer hora slaughtered in the manner of con­ Kipppur service only a variant way (evil inclination) was external, and ventional sacrifices; rather, it is of expressing this. This interpreta­ with the eating of the forbidden flung off a cliff. The place of the tion of the Ramban is based on a fruit. the yeitzer hora became inter­ sacrifice is not the Temple altar but Plrkei D'Rebbe Eliezer (Perek 46), nalized. The significance of the act a Valley outside the Temple area; in that explains the sa'ir leAzazel as of eating in this transition is ob­ fact. it seems to be as desolate an a way of "appeasing" the Satan so vious, for in contrast to committing area as possible, removed as can be as not to be mekatreig (challenge, a proscribed act, consuming forbid­ from the center of kedusha. Also. denounce) our Yorn Kippur den food actually incorporates the offerings. prohibited substance within a per­ Rabbi A. Scheinman, who studies in a Kollel Ramban in Jerusalem, is a frequent contributor to these How are we to deal with a concept son's system. (See regard­ pages. that sounds so alien to Judaism? ing eating treife food.)

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 41 It may be difficult to envision a relationships or unkosher food. If a without any sense of self when the person devoid of any internal urge person wears clothing containing aveira was extricated from him. for evil; yet the two different stages shatnez, it Is usually because he is Thus, once he conquered the crav­ can perhaps be understood by con­ too lazy to submit his clothing for ing, he died. sidering the contrast between a checking, it is too expensive to buy One can compare the difference person failing to avoid clothing with a shatnez-free garment, or the suit between combatting these two types shatnez (forbidden mixture of linen is too nice to discard. All of these of yeitzer hora to the difference be­ and wool), for instance, and a vio­ factors are external. The individual tween battling an invasive disease lation of prohibitions against illicit experiences no internal craving for and fighting a cancer. An invasive shatnez, nor does he attain any disease Is more easily overcome, for special fulfillment from transgress­ one can differentiate between the ing this prohibition. body and the disease. The antibo­ C?E~llt\.t On the other hand, when a person dies identify the foreign agent as has a craving for an illicit relation­ such, and battle it. A cancerous 4-?{/uf;JiisraelofBoroPurk'lti1¥JliL1B~ ship or a forbidden food. his very growth, however, is composed of the · 451Il~thAY'7nµe (top floor) self wants it, as though he cannot same material as the body (modem live without it. His battle vacillates research focuses heavily on learning . \. Brqoklyn., ~y 11219 between feeling shame at himself for the differences and finding treat­ (/18) 854;4500 wanting to yield to his base, animal ments that will discriminate be­ Library Hours: instincts, to feeling rage at people, tween the diseased tissue and the or at the Torah, for trying to restrain healthy tissue), and the antibodies Stf!ld;tfs. ,j .. / .. , .2:0G..:5:00PM him against his will. The Gemora cannot identify this or that partic­ M9n:days& relates the story of Reb Elazar ben ular part of the body as "alien." By Wed11esdays , . : . 6:30-8:30 PM Durdia who died upon doing the same token, the standard te­ The gef1eta1public isinvited teshuva for a lifetime of licentious­ shuva process may work well for us 'w utilize._ the .12,00Q volumes, ness. Rabbi Yitzchok Hutner J">i when we struggle to eradicate sins frilly catalogiled. explained that Reb Elazar's very life­ of the first category, as long as we Hebrew, Yiddish and force was so tied up with his aveiros recognize that we have committed a sin, and we are of clear resolve to BngliSh sections; (trangressions) that he was left

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42 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 rid ourselves of it. Then we can hope that embodies evil. Once we have eventually to succeed in making determined which he is, we send it some inroads into removing the sin out of Klal Yisroel. The goat that from our personalities. But what represents the potential for good about those sins that we are so can then be elevated through she­ involved in that we do not want to chita, zerika, and haktara-the rid ourselves of them? What about an offering to G-d. As long as there sacrificial order in the Temple-to those habits, practices, and objects is a yeitzer hora within a person and become holy. The part that is evil of desire that are integrated into our its influence pervades all man's cannot be elevated: it must be very selves? Can we ever succeed in deeds, then all the offerings and expunged. We send it off to the forces ridding ourselves of them? atonements that he offers are of evil and rid ourselves of it. tainted. One must first extricate the Ra from within the person, and only ill. INTERNALIZED EVIL: then is he capable of offering a ITS DEVELOPMENT AND CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST ITS COUNTERFORCE genuine atonement. This is where Azazel enters the scene. The kohein takes two goats DR.BENZION he internalization of the as similar in appearance as possi­ yeitzer hara within man­ ble-seforim write that they repres­ SOROTZKIN T whereby good and evil ent the twins Eisav and Yaakov. The N.Y. STATE LICENSED become so integrated that they Kohein Gadol, representing all of ADULTS cannot be distinguished from one Jewry, then stands before G-d and another-took on many forms AND performs a lottery, for it is beyond throughout the chain of history. our power to rid ourselves of this CHILDREN • Adam Harishon ate from the Ra on our own. We must enlist (718) 266-7151 eitz hadaas, internalizing the Divine assistance to identify the one yeitzer hara within man for all time. • When twins were born to Yitz­ chak and Rivka, a new type of ' mixing of Tov and Ra emerged. The KASHRUS MAGAZINE two boys were twins. and it was unclear as to who represents Tov and who Ra. Yitzchak favors Eisav ~~~~;:::=.-;:::.: WI! monitor for you for the berachos. The pasuk in I • Mislabeled Products • Pareve/Dairy Malachi states, " ... for Eisav and ·~·,,~ • Unauthorized Symbols Yaakov are brothers, and yet I have • Su:pervisioi1 Changes loved Yaakov and despised Eisav" • New Products (1:2,3). The pasuk is stating that although there seems to be no 6Problems apparent reason for it, Yaakov is the 1. Do you know when a product bears an unauthorized symbol? preferred one. Chazal also liken 2. Who will tell you when a product is mislabeled? Eisav to an animal whose appear­ 3. When supervision changes or is removed will you be notified? ance is "kosher," but whose internal 4; Do you know which kosher products contain dairy ingredients and are !!Q! signs are unclean (Midrash Sha­ listed as dairy? char Tov 120,6). 5. Would you like to know which products are kosher without symbols? • When the Children oflsrael left 6. How can you keep your kosher kitchen u1Ho,datewhen the status of kosher Egypt. they were accompanied by products and establishments consttintly changes? the eirev rav-the mixed multitudes of Egyptians who had overtly em­ braced Judaism, and became part ~ © IKI ~: "" PLEASE MAIL TO Kashrus, Subscription Service Dept. of Israel-but carried with them PDB 17305. Milwaukee. Wl $3217 vestiges of idolatry that ultimately ~ii~&~~«.,~ Please en1er m;• subscripi,on os follou's resulted in the sin of the Eigel (the ~ ~ /}{ ~e~~ .. ~ CJ$15-lyt [J$27-2yrs ll$36-3yrs l.:J) li.'il ~ t!J -: ~) New 0 Renewal U Gift Golden Calf). Also. pleas/?" send a sel of bock •ssues This was the beginning of the ~ iih ~@ ~'li' ~ i-J 10 most wcenl@ $10 IJ 25@$25 chain of events that culminated in i!t ® ~" """~ i;; Name the kapara ofYom Kippur, With the « e"" ~/iJ~~"\) Address sa 'ir leAzazel as the primary com­ Subscribe now and receive five 40-page ponent. It was insufficient to offer bimonthly issues of KASHRUS Magazine. Plrnse ollou' up m 8 weeks for frrsl tS>ue 10 omue an atonement for the Eigel through

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 43 This last point requires some share in a corporation, and contin­ elaboration. Our task in this world uously litigates in court against is not to destroy Ra as such. There every move that he deems contrary Is a place for Ra in creation that G-d to his (i.e., the stockholder's) inter­ willed, and only He will eventually ests. But as soon as he is bought exterminate it. Ours is to separate out and his capital is returned to the Ra from the Tov, and to make him, he is no longer a party to the certain that our personalities, our company's fortunes. As an outsider, actions and our society, in general, he is powerless. Similarly. so long are free from Ra. This avoda, this We are not offering as the Satan is part of our enter­ specific approach, stems from sacrifices to the Satan; prise, he has legitimate claims to our Adam's initial challenge, which was fortunes; when he is gone (he has not to destroy the eitz hadaas, but rather, by giving back taken his 'bone'), he is no longer part to make certain that he does not his unwelcome gift of of our world. consume any of it, and contaminate pseudo-Tov, we thereby • The Gemora (Yoma) explains himself with it. On Yorn Kippur we that sa'ir leAzazel is an atonement reverse the process started by Adam cleanse ourselves. for the angels Aza and Azel who Harishon. We discriminate between sinned with earthly women, which the genuinely good and the pseudo­ brought into being the wicked and powerful nefilim good of Ra. Ra is returned to its IV. DISENFRANCHISING EVIL "place in creation"-the Midbar, the Although this occurrence is wilderness. Ramban and Rabbeinu shrouded with mystery and we have Bachya explain that Ra. which any of the comments no conception of what transpired, encompasses the forces of desola­ concerning sa 'ir leAzazel we can at least comprehend that a tion and death, of waste and des­ M fall into place with this dilution of spirituality took place truction, reigns supreme in the explanation. through this marriage of the heav­ Midbar. • The Pirkei D'Rebbe Eliezer enly and the mundane, resulting in No, we are not offering sacrifices explains that the sa 'ir leAzazel an introduction of new elements of to the Satan; rather. by giving back counteracts the kitrug, the discred­ Ra into the world. The children they his unwelcome gift of pseudo-Tau, iting assault of the Satan against produced, then. embodied a blend we thereby cleanse ourselves. our other korbanos. lt is similar to of Tov and Ra. This is the worst type tossing a bone to a dog to keep him of aveira that only Yorn Kippur can quiet, as another interpretation of atone for. Chazal explains (Raya Mehemna). • Chazal say that the red HOTLINE Or in contemporary parlance, think threads tied to the horns of the goat TO JERUSALEM in terms of someone who owns one and hung in the Beis Hamikdash- In time of illness, surgery or crisis. special prayers will be recited at the Western Wall and at our Yeshiva in Jerusalem. CALL 24 HOURS (718) 871-4111 A FREE PUBLIC SERVICE OF The American Rabbi Meir Baal Haness Charity KOLEL AMERICA BETTER YOUNG MEN'S KADDISH AND MEN'S CLOTHING Mishnayoth, Yizkor & Yortzeit From Underwear to Outerwear observed with a minyon in our Yeshiva Heichal Rabbi Meir Traditional and Updated Men's Fashions Baal Haness in Jerusalem. CALL 1314 Avenue P (side ent.) •>Muniapat Parki1!9 • 718-617-81!!-' s, T, w, TH •_-11--S/ F'• 1!!-3/'Appointments,Wel_torne (718) 871-4111 M & W Eves & MotzaiShabbos • 7i30-10'PM 132 Nassau St., N.Y., N.Y. 10038 We ship UPS anywhere in the USA

44 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 threads that turned white to pro­ claim that Bnei Yisroel is forgiven­ represent the zohama (pollutant) that the snake introduced into Chava (Maggid Meisharim). Subscribe now to The Yalkut Hareuveinu cites a Midrash that a person destined to The Jewish Observer die during that year was chosen (through Ruach Hakodesh) to send off the sa 'ir leAzazel. This is the and SAVE meaning of the designation "ittf'­ he was a "temporary person," so to speak. The reason for this is because Become a monthly subscriber the person involved with each to The Jewish Observer and avoda (aspect of the Divine service) save up to 4 7% off the single· is representative of that avoda. The copy price (a savings of over Kohein Gadol represents longevity, as does the general scope of the $40.). The longer you sub· avoda in the Bais Hamikdash. The scribe for, the more you save. person who was to send off the sa'ir leAzazel, however, was a man And this introductory offer is fully guaranteed. You have but to ask and you will receive marked for death ... most fitting a prompt refund on any undelivered issues should you decide to cancel at any time, for his specific task. for any reason. V. BACK TO ORIGINS Each month, The Jewish Observer will be delivered directly to your door, filled with the views of leading Torah thinkers on current issues ... comments on the strengths and foibles within the Jewish community .. analysis of conternporary nYomKippurweloosenabit Jewish events ... inside reporting, interpretive com1nentary, inspiring biographies, the tentacles of Ra that have infuriating letters and illuminating responses-all within the covers of one magazine, Odug so deeply into our flesh. The Jewish Observer. We are free of taavas achilah and So don't delay. Check the money-saving terms below and send in your order right taavas nashim-desire for all phys­ away. We'!! try to get your order filled in time for our very next issue. ical pleasures, which are proscribed on that day. Chazal say that we ------I resemble angels on Yorn Kippur I SUBSCRIPTION SAVINGS CERTIFICATE (clad in white, standing, etc.). We are I no longer akin to the nefilim-the I THE~H Suite 1200 • 84 William Street children of fallen malachim-but. I OBSERVER New York, N.Y. 10038 rather, the untainted angels. We are I I D YES! Please enter my subscription for: ~~~Y 'OUTSIDE gathered on the day that the sin of I USA the Eigel was expunged from Kial I D 3 years-at 47°/o off the cover price $48 D $78 Yisroel. We now have the opportun­ I D 2 years-at 40°/o off the cover price $36 D $56 I ity to cleanse ourselves of facets of 0 1 year- at 27°/o off the cover price $22 D $32 our personality that in truth we *Price reflects $10 extra per year to defray air shipping costs. Foreign never wanted to be rid of. Aharon payment must be made in U.S. dollars, either by check drawn on a bank Hakohein would place his hands on in the U.S.A. or by Visa or MasterCard. sa Kial the 'irand confess the sins of NAME (Please print) ______Yisroel. He would then "place the sins on the head of the sa 'ir' - ADDRESS ______meaning that Kial Yisroel would CITY, STATE ______ZIP----- recognize that those sins are not theirs: They are the snake's D Enclosed: $ 0 Charge my 0 MasterCard 0 VISA zohama. the machinations of Eisav. Acct. 0·J 1-,-,-rr······I... 1··· 11 11,-·····IJ the influence of the eirev rav. The No. -· ___ ,_Jj__ _ ·"··-- __ L_LL . Kohein Gadol then dispatches this embodiment of evil to the desert, its Expiration date: L~Il (month) cr:-_J (year) place of origin ... back to its rightful Signature ______Kial Yisroel owners. And emerges as The jew1>h Obwrver" published monthly excPpt July dnd Augu't Pleaw di low 4-6 w'°"'h for dt'l•very clean and as pure as Adam was before he sinned. • ------· The Jewish Observer. October 1989 45 BRINGING UP CHILDREN IN A TORAH FAMILY Eliyahu Mayer

from my 5-year old son, Yaakov, who The children decided that I should began working on me shortly after divide the candies into three bags: Rosh Hashana, last year: "Tatty. one for the hakafos at night, one why don't you buy candies to give for the hakajos the next morning out to the kids in shul on Simchas ... and one for them to keep for Torah?" he asked, almost rebuking­ after Simchas Torah. I was begin­ ly. ning to feel I'd been had! 'We have a candyman in shul. already. He gives you a candy every Shabbos''. I replied defensively. PRE-SIMCHAS TORAH PREPPING "But, Tatty! On Simchas Torah kids are supposed to get lots of nosh, not just one piece!" ll during Shimini Atseres, 'We'd feel special if all the kids had the pre-Simchas Torah ex­ to come over to you to get a candy," A citement was growing by AN UNLIKELY ASSIGNMENT chimed in nine-year-old Dina with geometric proportions. My children that special smile daughters reserve started prepping me like Olympic for manipulating their fathers. coaches, giving me strict and de­ hen I think of "the candy­ And so it went until Hoshana tailed instructions regarding the man" in shui my mind Rabbah, when Dina played her procedures for candy distribution. Wconjures up patriarchal trump card: "Tatty, if you want, I'll "Give only one candy to each images of zaidy-types with flowing take Yaakov with me to the candy child." white beards, soft puffy palms and store to buy the candies for you to "Be sure you don't let anyone take eyes that twinkle with centuries of give out on Simchas Torah. OK?" two." experience. As a man who is barely So I was drafted. I had been reluc­ "Don't forget to give the girls as middle-aged, I don't quite see myself tant to play the role for admittedly well as the boys." fitting the bill. selfish reasons. How would my per­ 'Walt until the second hakaja In spite of this poor type-casting, formance be received by the other before you give out any candies." I did experiment with a role of men in shul? Would I be the butt "Keep the candies in your pockets candyman in our shul for a day: of their jokes, however harmless? so you won't have to go back and Simchas Torah. The initiative came But once Dina returned with her 2 forth to your coat." pound bag of hard candies, I was "If I see a friend who has a baby Eliyahu Mayer is a New York-based writer. His ''Today. I Put on Tefillin"' appeared in the already looking forward to my new brother or sister at home, I'll tell you February '88 issue of the J.O. role. and then you can give them two."

46 The Jewish Obseroer, October 1989 CANDY-KIDS ON THE COUCH and otherwise remained motionless. before those children literally Some children also darted a glance swooped over, grabbed the candy y the time hakajos started, to a parent nearby. It was only after and darted half-way across the shul. even I was eager to begin giv­ I directly asked if they would like the A variation of this response was to B ing out the candies. My stra­ candy that they took it from my scoop the candy out of my palm and tegy (or "M.O.," as detectives refer hand, albeit gingerly. I can only immediately look away, as if nothing to it) was simply to approach each speculate as to what lectures, slide had happened. child I passed and extend my hand, presentations or parental warnings with a candy.Although I followed the may have hammered home the same procedure with each child, the message: Never accept candy from Discover Our responses and reactions elicited a stranger. TORAH on CASSETTES! from the children varied greatly, not Boy, times have changed, I Now you aml your farruly can tru!y study our holy Torah to mention those of their parents. thought. I can remember as a child with beautiful Torah cassettes ·in E.ng!ish. from Yeshivah Heicha! Hatalmud. Study while you rela.x at home or while What began as a Simchas Torah accepting plenty transla!OO rnlo Engl•sh Ea;:.11 lape •s one Mur. The same holds lrue for Rashi and 1569 - 47th Street, Brooklyn, New York11219 Sarreni.ia f Ravi T;1e t;ipes aier!ear and conrne-they are 1he 1oeal teachels LISie« 10 them di your own pace ar:C review at will For Chumash. we slarted Day & Night .Phone (718) 855-5121 w1lh Se Fo< M1shnavo1h we star1W wrth Tractate Brochous for Gemurrah. we start co with rractate Ketubolh for HalacM. we staned with ·Honesty - Integrity - Reliability the ~eg>no1ng ol Shi•H:han Arue~- .. lcMe ol Jew•Sh Law). Orach Cha•m i Laws go·1err109 ou1 caStapes _ Troc1a1e of Pesacilim-15 tapes with more lomrr- U(Hle R•l"'Q '"The Mom1"9-~ liljles YESHIVA KESSER TORAH _ Laws-0ITM:1>-181aoes _ Laws-01m.,-21•,,pes _ L•w' ot Moromg Bre13!•1gs ao~ Pesu!m1 ll'llm•oh-11 l"Ms _ Lov.\ 01 the Heaocng ol She01a y,smel-18 !aoe• --­ • Lows or Slomorrdli Esreh 1Prayer ol tM 18 B1eSS"1q11~20 tap"' ---- Horav Elyakim G. Rosenblatt, Rosh Hayeshiva This concludes /f)e ltrSI volume of M1sMen Brurah _ la"NS of 8'"'°' Konao•m 'il"-'i'y ~"ss1n9s1 arol me conclu»on of""''"'~ prayers-9 :ape, _ laws ol Tora~ ReMmq-11 1apes ANNOUNCES BEGINNING OF NEW Z'MAN _ law. 01 Saoe>11y ol ro. SynaQO!i"C-6 :apes wlmore M come TORAll ANALYSIS • For Post High School Students • Day and Evening Shiurim _ All 01 mo w<>e yOtJf rE!!Juest we eoclose a Chumash or M'1sMayoth Of Gemorrah. wMre you ca~ fo•l~w mo expi;ma11on wnrd to' word who cannot attend the rest of the week H1w 11911 1r1 1d~ell 1nry Wiile Make checks payable to· HEICHAL HATALMUD For more information please call: (718) 291-1335 or (718) 441-7809 I ,.,;cl<' Imm """ dQnalJoo !O our appeal\ or write to N~~E~~--~~-~-~-~-­ 141-20 Grand Central Parkway (Near Main St.) ADDRf~S---~------C!TY STATE __ Z!P ____ Briarwood, N.Y. 11435 (718) 291-1335 HEICHAI.HATALML'D 1•,:[;,.;tllm"

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 47 After a while I couldn't help but wonder: What happened to 'Thank you," "Sh'koach," or even a smile? Did these children expect me to be giving out candies? Did I owe it to them? Were the candies too smalL What began as a Sim.chas Torah minhag perhaps, to warrant any old­ jashioned appreciation? quickly turned into a Rorschach test of To be fair, there were some child­ attitudes, midos and plain ol' derech eretz. ren who did not run or look away. And with a little coaching of, 'What do you say?" I did manage to eke out a few inaudible grunts which I bathroom before when you gave one to give out candies to your children. whole heartedly accepted. Occasion­ to his brother." The least you could do is say, 'thank ally, one or two children even volun­ "Could I take one for my daugh­ you.'" teered a whispered word of ter? She already went home with my But l decided to maintain my gratitude. wife, but I'll save it for her for to­ silence. These parents are surely But then, I thought, most of the morrow." distracted by the commotion of children were under nine or ten 'You wouldn't happen to have a hakajos. Surely in a less hectic years old .... As they get older, they'll red one, would you? Maybe my son setting, they would be much more learn to behave differently. could exchange this?" appreciative. I was more than happy to comply Had my experiences as candyman AND THEN, THE PARENTS with their requests. After all. my for a day ended there, I probably purpose was to please, so I appre­ would not have been sufficienily d then there were the par- ciated people letting me know rtled up to transcribe these events. nts. First they approached exactly what they wanted. Neverthe­ But as the hakajos progressed, I e with their requests. Some less, I was a bit surprised when encountered much more unsettling were almost apologetic, others were parents walked away, offering little parental responses. more assertive. more than a nod. At this point, I felt One parent began to chide me, in "Do you perhaps have another like saying. "Hey. I don't get paid to harsh tones. 'You know, all that candy? My little one was in the do this, you know. Ifs not my job sugar is unhealthy and bad for their

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48 The Jewish Observer, October 1989 teeth. I hy not to give my children on receiving a treat from this candy­ candy at home. and I'm sure there man next year. I plan to buy lollipops are other parents here that feel the (with soft sticks) that are endorsed same way!" by another hashgacha. So, hope­ Another parent was more critical. fully, next year my efforts to brighten "J know these candies have a the Simchas Torah celebration in hechsher, but not everyone relies on my shul will meet with less disap­ that particular Rav. If you're giving proval, opposition and criticism. them out in shul. Eliyahu, you should have selected candies with a more reliable hechsher that every­ REFLECTING ON THE SECLUDED one would accept. I don't really know RESPONSES the details, but.... " (The Rav OCEANFRONT referred to is one of the most highly couldn't help reflecting on the VILLA ON respected poskim in the New York varied responses l had encoun­ TROPICAL ISLAND area.) I tered. The children were. for the • 3-Sedrooms One parent was openly antagonis­ most part, unappreciative and • Private Pool tic. "Are you the one giving out these impolite. While there were some candies?" began the interrogation, notable exceptions, most of the • 200 ft. Private Ocean Front as this parent held up one of my children treated me with a 'Well, it's • Fully Stocked Pantry with candies. Although I wanted to deny your job!" attitude. Of course it Kosher Groceries it at this point, I nevertheless found didn't take me long to trace the roots • Fulltime Staff of Two the courage to nod. of this attitude, straight back to • Car with Driver 'Well, you really should stop! Do their parents. IDEAL FOR FRUM COUPLE OR FAMILY you know how dangerous these We hear a lot today about placing Call For Free Brochure candies are?" greater emphasis on midas in Torah (718) 336·2760 I naively thought this parent was education. We read ariicles about referring to the time-bombs of tooth the weakening of adherence to the ·decay, I was so ruthlessly planting around the shul. But this near­ angry parent blamed me for much since 1928 more serious recklessness. "Don't you realize that these candies could get caught in the FREEDA® children's throats, chas v'shalom. and they could choke? Believe me, I saw it happen once." This last VITAMINS sentence was uttered in a tone of THE BEST IN THE VITAMIN WORLD authority matching, "J even read about it in the Reader's Digest!" 36 E . .Jtst St., Ne".' Vork, NV 10017 (212) 685-..J980 My level of irritation finally passed ()ver 250 Vitamins, Minerals and Amino Acids to cover all the threshold of restraint. ''The your vitamin needs. Our vitamins are made on the premises regular candyman gives those same under strict pharmaceutical and kashrus standards. candies out every Shabbos," I Freeda Vitamins are parve and vegetarian and are under the pleaded. 'Why don't you tell him to Rabbinical Supervision of the Orthodox Union. stop? I'm only giving these candies out tonight." •No sugar • No sulfates • No coal tar dyes This parent then surprised me by • No starch • No salt filler • No animal stearates answering my rhetorical question. "He's an older man and probably wouldn't listen to me, anyway. But Your children deserve the best vitamins on the market, and you're right, someone should speak FREEDA VITAMINS with no dyes or sugar, are the best to him. Nevertheless, it is still worse to give out candies on Simchas Freeda LKV drops for infants Torah because children are more Freeda chewable Vitalets for children likely to be running around than on Freeda Yelets for teenagers a regular Shabbos." THERE IS NO REASON TO BUY ANYTHING ELSE! Now don't feel sorry for the child­ Ca{[ or write for free brochure. ren in my shut. They won't miss out

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IMPORTED BY KEDEM WINE CO., NEW YORK. NY. bain adorn l'chavero (interpersonal gratitude for paid services sounds they might try to help counteract the conduct) among children. And rare far-fetched. But there are so many "eskumt mir' attitude is to become is a parenting workshop. conference examples of gedolim who have gone "candymen of the day" this year. I or kinus that doesn't decry the lack far out of their way to thank the really don't think children would of derech eretz among our youth. most highly-paid Jewish and non­ object to a few additional candymen today. But who is really to blame? Jewish workers, such as physicians on Simchas Torah !By practicing True, children don't automatically and surgeons, or lower status this form of giving they may come pick up midas tovos from watching workers, such as aides or orderlies, to be more appreciative about their parents. But one thing is for their services. receiving.I And if some do decide to certain. If parents are ungrateful. So parents can begin by exercis­ distribute candies in my shul, let me unappreciative, and rude, their ing their own appreciation muscles reassure them that at least my children will definitely imitate that whenever they receive service from children will volunteer a "thank behavior. someone, even if it is his job to you," or else I will not allow them Returning to my Simchas Torah render that service. Another thing to partake of the candy. • experience, 1 wish to announce to one and all that I plan to continue my role of candyman for a day. 1have no intention of resigning and 1 may even expand my "business" to a weekly basis. SFS promised and" delivered the best mortgage Most of the children treated me with a "Well, it's your job!" Louis Glueck attitude. It didn't Prospect" Park Yeshiva take me long to trace President the roots of this attitude, straight SF'SOFFERS: MIAMI CONDOS back to their parents. RESIDENTIAL LOWEST POINTS - CO-OP/CONDO FAST COMMITMENT COMMERCIAL LOWEST RATES As for the other parents, perhaps HOME EQUITY NO INCOME VERIFICATION they could begin to correct their REFINANCING WWEST ADJUSTABLE RATES children's midas by improving their own. When people adopt an attitude CALLSFS of, 'Well. its your job," they generally treat a favor as if it were deserved. 212/944-5005 After all. they reason, if he is paid to serve me. then I don't owe him SFS MANAGEMENT CO., L.P. 1140 :WENL!E OF THE .AMERICAS any appreciation. This attitude NE\\' YOHK. NY !0036 allows people to criticize "unsatis­ F1\X 212/944·9'369 factory" service to their hearts' content. while permitting "satisfac­ tory" service to go by without any acknowledgement whatsoever. One example: When was the last time you sat at a wedding dinner and heard anyone say "thank you" to the waiter? To some. the idea of expressing

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 51 The apple dipped in honey symbolizes the sweetness we feel at this extraordinary time of year. Your neighbors at Community National promise to do everything we can to make your year 5750 just as rich, promising and sweet. And we hope all of our neighbors are inscribed in the book of life. HAPPY NEW YEAR ~·-··- --- l'KOl'I COMMUNITYa~~!!!:?~~~k BANK@,:=}) 11 OPPORTUNITY"'"'-" ...... 131/.udS~e.ts-S/k.Jt./t~~// Member FDIC

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One is eternally obliged to ponder the consequences-be they long­ ola. however, if the Mashgiach is term or short-term-of his actions, involved with a student, it is a sign outlook, and course of endeavor. that he believes that something will This point was driven home to a come out of the talmid. that the student about to enter yeshiva investment of time will guarantee gedola who was asked by the Mash­ significant return. giach if he could explain the differ­ Before you act, think about the ence between yeshiva ketana and outcome. the consequence. and yeshiva gedola. consider your outlook; situations The boy thought for a moment change, and even more Important. and then replied that yeshiva you change. ketana is veiy structured and prac­ (In the interest of accuracy, dur­ Without Noise tically all the learning is accomp­ ing the massacre of the Chevron lished in a classroom environment. Yeshiva, Reb Meir was miraculously was piivileged to translate Rabbi But in a yeshiva gedola. he said, not present; his wife, however, Hillel Goldberg's sensitive there is much more independent was.)• I sketch about the late Mashgiach study since one is expected to learn of Chevron, Rabbi Meir Chodosh, even without attending a shiur. ('Without Noise," JO, May 89) to my Reb Meir suggested a more fun­ mashgiach. Rabbi Aaron Chodosh damental difference: If the Mashgi­ (his son). Reb Aaron closed his eyes ach has a lot to do with a student and nodded his head as he remi­ in yeshiVa ketana. it is usually a nisced along with the translation. sign that this student is being According to Reb Aaron, Rabbi delinquent in his studies and needs Goldberg's homily, "To teach others some discipline. In a yeshiva ged- is one thing; to teach oneself is quite something else," was veiy much in keeping with his father's thoughts on the subject. although his father had a veiy different way of express­ ing it. "Teach yourself, educate 101"\Ml"\1 1::11"\:lli n::i1e mw'i yourself, fill yourself up with wis­ dom,'' he said, "and inevitably it will Gemilas Chesed spill over and affect someone else." Congregation This of course was Reb Meir Cho­ Rabbi Yitzhak Chinn dosh's greatest strength; it enabled McKeesport, Pa. him to have his head in the Heavens yet live with us mortals on ealih. "Furthermore." Reb Aaron stressed, "since the sign of wisdom is the ability to perceive the nolad. the outcome, he constantly demand­ ed thought. speech and action that INSURAl'ICE BROKERS & CONSULTANTS reflected this wisdom.'' Thus Reb Commercial, Industrial, Residential, Life & Health Meir would always urge students who sought his counsel regarding their plans for their future. to look further than just around the comer. "Have you considered what will happen years from now if you 718-851-7000 abandon Torah study now?" he would ask. If the answer was not a • PROFESSIONAL SERVICE • positive one he would insist that they weigh their decision more • QUALITY INSURANCE CARRIERS • carefully. • COMPETITIVE PREMIUMS •

Rabbi Teller lives in Jerusalem, and is author BARBARA GOLDGRl\BEN/HESHY SCHWEBEL/EZRA HES of a number of popular books on Jewish themes. most recently, Above the Bottom Line.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 53 REPUBLIC Best wishes to all of NATIONAL BANK our customers and friends OF NEW YORK for a happy and healthy sweet New Year. ~ WHERE YOU GET PERFORMANCE, NITT PROMISES. Fifth Ave. at 40th St. New York NY 10018 (212) 221-6056

BRANCHES MANHATTAN· BRONX• BROOKLYN· QUEENS· ROCKLAND. \VESTCHESTER MEMBER FDIC Raezel Bloxenheim

"Three years of age? Her time she thought A It's just not true! She utilized I died an old woman. Most properly, to its fullest WRINKLE You know it as I do!" So very well and wise IN TIME "Sorry," she was answered The moral of this poem "It was in fact three years." You may have guessed She opened her eyes The woman's neshoma Is not merely to use your time And hopped out of bed Stood in tears But to use it to its best. Rushed out of the house Modeh Ani unsaid She raced through Due to shortage of tirne Her tefillos a mere Mouth mimicked rnime Lunch came and went Who has time for a brocha She gobbled it up Without thinking of halacha Mincha. she said I'll get to it soon The shk'ya came il:l1iil::l C'i1~'::l • Followed by the stars and moon ~ip~::l ilJ'::l • She came home Her chores left undone •1?1il~ c•J1•i1 c•:J.n:i~ • She had no time 1i::lY!Z7 .n1i1i1 1Ji1i She had to run Now an old woman She stood at death's door Tirne ill spent Youth no more Her last breath carne And her life ended Interred in the earth below Her neshoma transcended illl'!J '•7N :JiiT To wait in the heavens For its final evaluation :i.1?io :i.p11• :i.iiT jl:)!J'l •::iii~ :Jiil Her Din HaNefesh 'PlJ~P ?1<1~ru :JiiT illJtN11 7N1~!11 :Jiil She awaited with elation "11!11 "7N :JiiT ]'17 tl"il Cili:JN :JiiT She was sure 11:JJil:)!ll illll ~ :i. iiT J"t:1lll!Jll :J"7 C"il :JiiT That in all her haste li:JJ"lll OnJ!J tl"il :JiiT IJN!J CiTi:JN :Jiil Not one moment i1111 JN0711"!J 7N1~!11 :Jiil Did she waste Her turn came She stood in shock Immobilized as a statue Of sculptured rock No!No! There's been a mistake That's not my age She said with a shake

Miss Bloxenheim lives in Staten Island. N .Y. This is her first appearance in JO.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 55 How to dramatically improve your life.

.., '' D\'I '' ~n'S-!±"' '·. .;~. ~ 2:. \

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a ka 'zayith of matzah, bitter herbs, HAGGADAH REVIEW AND THE SIZE OF THE SEDER FOODS etc. And each of the Four Cups must contain 1.5 ka'beitzim (i.e., a DIGEST OF.MEFORSHl.M: revi'ith). To the Editor: In brief, the Ch'![etz Chaim en­ .• ,t>,~? -,.n~ ,~tr' In commenting on the volume dorses the larger standard for ful­ .• 'J",ll'l •71llt:17K·7Kll:)!I! l"J!.71\"l'J;:t'•• measurements for the Seder pro­ filling Torah obligations, and the vided in the English edition of smaller standard for fulfilling Rab­ :;·Ai;of vol un1es _out~_o{·prhit jetz Chaim recommends a practical oning reflects the position of the solution to the halachic problems Chazon !sh. For the smaller stand­ PR1CE:.$s,oo PER.VOLUME surrounding the proper quantities ard, we used the ka'beitzah reck­ to be consumed on the Seder night. oning of Rav Avraham Chaim Naeh The halachic problems-more '"" in his Shiurei Torah. precisely described as matters in We would add that the editor-not GET READY TO GO! dispute among halachic authori­ the author. Rabbi Gershon Harpa­ ties-are: nas-takes responsibility for both FOR THE NEW YEAR 1. How to define a ka 'zayith tables appearing in the English (volume equal to that of an olive). edition of Haggadah Geresh Yera­ )"~l1 i.e., one third or one half of a him The Table of Volume Measure­ ka'beitzah? ments was created in consultation The new Luach for Mishna-Halacha Yomit is ready! 2. How to reckon a ka'beitzah With a rabbinic consultant for the • (volume equal to that of an egg). English language edition of the Ask for it and we will send it to you I.e., Are eggs smaller in our time Mishna Berurah. FREE! than in the time of the Sages? URJCHESKIN There is a fundamental disagree­ Mishar Publishing Co. • Bnei Brak. Israel Start a program of learning ment among Rishonim (Earlier Mishna & Halacha Authorities) on the first issue. and • among Acharonim (Later Authori­ OUR REVIEWER REPLIES: Join the thousands who follow the ties) on the second. Answers are daily Luach imperative, of course, for on the The point of the Chafetz Chaim • Seder night we are required to eat that Rabbinic obligations can be You will have the satisfaction and joy of learning Torah every day • Write or call: Ruchama Seidman Fund, RABBI ELIAS KARP Ph.D. 1880 47th Street, CORRECTION PAGE (EDITION 0''\'JY1'-n">J\'J!'I) Brooklyn, NY 11204 l'.>"r.JWn·n"r.iwn rw:iu1m O'llf.''ll N.Y.S. Licensed .Psychologist 718-85HJ'770 Obtainable by Sending S.S.A.F. • In memory of Rabbi & Mrs. Charles Batt To 1311)'.) {Address in lDP). (718) 252-3440 Hartford, Conn.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 57 discharged by eating (or drinking) culating a kazayis as only a third amount). Rabbi Eider, in contrast, less than for a Torah obligation is of an egg? understands the Chafetz Chaim reflected in practically all tables of Rabbi Cheskin takes the view that always to require a kazayis equal measurements given in Haggados. for a Rabbinic obligation only "a to "half an egg" (except in case of However. there is still ample room third ofan egg" is required; and thus bede'avad), and would require this for confusion. What is the smallest for Afikomen, he only requires the as a minimum amount for Afiko­ amount? Is it the amount reached minimal measurement of .65 11. oz. men (about 1.1 11. oz.), preferably to by disregarding the Nodah Biye­ (though he adds that "it is prefer­ be doubled (in practice he actually huda? Or is it also based on cal- able to eat two kazaysim," twice this requires a larger amount, as explained in his work). Rabbi David Feinstein accepts "a third of an egg" as a kazayis for Rabbinic obliga­ MESORAH: tions, but in the case of Afikomen A New Torah Journal requires twice that amount (about

We are pleased to announce the publication of the second issue of HEBREW ACADEMY MESORAH -- a unique Torah Journal, OF CLEVELAND in hebrew, presenting original Chidushei Torah- of HaRav publishes over 50 Educational Items HaGaon Rabbi Yosef Ber Soloveitchik, for Hebrew Day Schools Shlita, as recorded by his Talmidim. Plus: A fascinating focus on contempor­ ary Halachic issues dealing with the myriad complexities in the field of kashruth.

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58 The Jewish Obseroer. October 1989 1.5 fl. oz) since it is not only pref­ erable to eat two kazaysim, but there is also an opinion that Afik­ omen is a Torah obligation. It was Dear Executive Director: the small measurement given by If your school, organization or shul has begun Rabbi Cheskin for Afikomen that prompted my suggestion for its countdown towards a dinner or special event, call clarification. us. We're experts in typesetting high volume, high CONGRATULATIONS AND quality English and Hebrew formats at the lowest CORRECTIONS prices. Bring us your journal, newsletter, yearbook, To the Editor: bulletin, catalogue or brochure. We know what you I want to commend you for the need and we can produce it camera-ready faster, splendid idea of publishing, as a 25th Anniversary issue, "The Best cleaner and cheaper than anyone else. of The Jewish Observer." Many articles are both timeless and val­ Sincerely, uable, and I appreciate the oppor­ tunity to read important articles that I missed or that pre-dated my subscription to the magazine. One comment: The article, "Our Attitude Toward Public Opinion," is presented as if it had been written for The Jewish Observer. According to the Sefer Hazikaron in memory of Rav Y. Hutner '"~l. the article was originally published in the summer JOURNALS • YEARBOOKS • NEWSLETTERS • BROCHURES • BULLETINS of 1936 for the Young Israel View­ point under the title: "Public Opin­ (718) 253-1437 ion and Jewish Education." It would seem only proper that the source of the article be accurately reported in The Jewish Observer. DAVID GROSSER ARE YOU MOVING? New York City IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the /0 to your home. Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address FROM FACTORY and computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the REPRESENTATIVE SAVE!!! address label. M:ltv .,l:li'D ADDRESS CHANGE FORM (Affix label here)

Rabbi Aryeh Schechter SOFER S"TAM Name ______1235 49th St. Address ______Brooklyn, NY 11219 e make "housecalls." City, State, Zip------­ (718) 972-4003 Date Effective------l.P. :i-•;~.. Please allow 6-8 weeks for all change~ to be reflPcted on your mailing lalwl. VVE \'\!ILL NOT BE / • - .,b::>!t> . RESPONSIBLE FOR B:\CK ISSUES MISSED unless ymi notify us 8 wreh prior to vour n1ovt>.

The Jewish Observer, October 1989 59 1r.innni 1:trt::iri n:n" tl)VJ Mr. and Mrs. Best Wishes to all our Berish Fuchs friends and relatives and· for a lfappy, Jfealthy a11d Mr. & Mrs. Moshe Fuchs Prosperous New Year wish all of their Mr. and.Mrs; friends and relatir>es: Alan Jag Rosenberg 8t 1r.innrn t1n:>n n:n" n)VJ f'amil!} Kew Gardens, J'f,Y..

i~nnni i:ln~n n:li~ i1J~'i to Rabbi and Mrs. Rabbi Moshe Sherer .Daniel Lapin and the and his distinguished staff Torah Community of to friends of Agudath Israel Venice, Califor,iia and all of Klal Yisroel wish all their friends Mr. & Mrs. Yaakov Rieder a Shana. Tova! and family

i1:m!l i10'lin1 i1:l'li:l n::n" ill:J'nn' n:i,n:i l'l:>"l:l : :i::n~lln Ul,Y'> !11)'.)Wl1'il J1)\lj~ 1;.inni-n 1ln:m nlll) mw' Mr. l!t Mrs. Yossi Stern nnN i11UN O'.n:i )\lj)J'>)h :im ':i' nn,:.in and family ".b'"' ,,,, 1l1~., ml'!)l:i Tlll"I o>iw!i 1:im Edison, New Jersey Rabbi Dr. & Mrs. Manfred Fulda Levi l!t Dalllda .Beisman and family

n:nt:J ill:J"tlrn n:i~n:> Bestwlshesfor a To All Our Relatives l!t friends We extend to all of Moishe. feige l!t /llenachem J'riederwltzer Kial Yisroel n:ill) nr.i>nn' nl>n:i of Staten Island our sincerest wishes for a Rabbi l!t Mrs. Menachem Mlll) nr.i>nm nl>n::> Lubinsky family Jllechi. Duv and Gedalya Simcha fendel and l'nlna l!t Yitzchak Wilk !Yaftali and Shaine llirscll LubiCom c~JVl1; and family 21 West 58th Street n-.,l:in 0''W1:'l~:l nN:rn i'll~ New York, l'f. Y. 10018 To Rabbi and Mrs'. Daniel Lapin n:mnm ):i:n::>:n h:i1" mllb .Thank]Jouforthe Torah(!Uidance Best wishes toall·our that you oontt.nually give friends and relatives · to our community an.d partlcularlyfor . for a happy, tiealthy the ditecllon that and prosperous tl!e persol)aUy receive NewYeat regarding our family Phyllis and Chaim Shtoot · arid parnossoh. L'sharmah Tova Brooklyn, N.Y. Jllr. ·and Mrs. 1'aniet .le11in

ir.innl'li l::tl'l::in n:m~ hl~5 to aurel{ttives andfri~ndsfrom n:n." nn'rln1 nl'l"l=> ·.·Mr. 8t M~. Julius lflugmann Dr. and Mrs. Samuel Fuhrer · and family and Family 461 fort Washlngto11Aveflue, New York, ff,Y. lOOJJ

.We wish a nl1" nr.i>:nm n::i~it> Wishing all of Kl.al Yisroel a altour relative8 & friends to happy and healthy New Year Matldel 8t Shani Mr. 8 Mrs. St.anley Treltel Cha.nina IJt Mashe Chaim llefter &Family aeveland Heights, Ohio Los Angeles, California

YasherKo'ach.to Best Wishes for a Rabbi .Nissan Wolpin Ml11'. Mb>l'ln1Ml'l1:l andthe to friends, relatives, and Jewish Observer staff KlalYISroel Mr,$< Mrs. Atnolrf>: lfita,. 8t Debby .Weiss Mr. & Mrs.•Hany Fried Isaac Kinner . 410 Main Street Los Angeles, Calif. lJuffalo, N. Y. 14202

May 5750.bea L'ShanaTovafrom 1QliMli1 1:J.li:m M:l.1l!l MJ!V'i year ofjoy, prosperity Jewish RE!Source Center M))1!V'\ M'i1Nl lil!V !504 Frankhauser Raad iJ)l.l'll~l i1')2'{), Wt!Uamsvllle, New York 14221 :mo \':ii ,nn':>::cn for all of Kia.I· Yisroel Olthodox Jewish. Outreach Mr. e<. Mrs. Abish Brodt MT. ·~Mrs; Willy Wiesner · in Western New York and family Best wishes for a n:n\'.l m.:m1n1 n::i>n:i

to Best Wishes to all our Dr.&' Mrs. friends and relatives for a Ernst L. Bodenheimer lfappy, Healthy and Prosperous · who give so generously of their New Year vast resources of expertise, Mr. 8t Mrs. Louis Glueck experience, and genuine concern to help others. An Admirer

,W".lH 'i:l'i ,Y''i1 i1'i)):l1 i1'ii''i1 'OH'i il'.l)\'.) ilr.:l'l111) j):Jl)'):> cw en iWH:l il'1'1'i 1l':l1ip 'i:i'i to all relatives andfriends n'iWiHo n.lWi n:ii~ no•nm n:.•n:i n:i'i:. Rabbi 8t Mrs. Josef Loebenstein inntiWOi JHO"l i'iO''iH Vineland, New Jersey

We wish all our friends, Norman and Lesley relatives, and Jews everywhere freedman n:.m no•nm n:i•ri:i Boston, Massachusetts Mr. IJt Mrs. Max Berg

n:ii" nr.i>rini n:i>ri::> The Shmuel Oelbaums Mr. lit Mrs. Charles Richter from Yaakov & Bryna Bender wish friends and relatives wish and Family :iv~rio~ ;i:ie i1lW J"'C~1e i1~"Iiii~ ii~'.ii:

n:i11J nr.imn1 n:i>ri::> Mr. lit Mrs. David Mendtowitt Best Wishes fur _wish one and all a n:lie ne"nni n:~n~ Mr. IJt Jllrs. Rudy Tauber n:nt iio' nMi ir:'l"I~ Rabbi and Mrs. Eli Munl< Kew Gardens Hills, /'few. York

0 L-rd our L-rd Mr. lit Mrs. Chaim J. Banker i!Jl\J nr.i>rini nJ>ri:l ltow Glorious is Thy Name wish one and all a Mr.&Mrs. Happy New Year :i:nto 1il::l'J'iM1 il:l'J'i~ David H. Turkel Bernard Kuper.stein l);)nnnrt:rn:>n n:np i1)VJ5 l);)J'lnrn lln:>n nl'IP J1:1VI? from to all relatives and friends . Mr. & Mrs. Daniel Retter Dr. & Mrs. Sheldon Zinn and Family Phoenix, Arizona Biverdate, .JY.Y.

i~rinri1 \::il'l::m n~1rei n:iw~ Best Wishes to all our n:n" nr.i~nn1 n:i~n:> •friends altd relatlvesfor a to Abba and Ima /fappy, lfealthy.and from Prosperous New Year 1Yachum andl'eige Mr.•.&• Mr$. Chaim 8:· LeshkollJUZ Esti, Tzipora, Chaya, Mr. & Mrs; Yossfo Leshkowitz. Batsheva, Basia, tk Yitzchok

Wishes all our 01:111' no\nni n:i>n~ Best w To all oarfriends, relatives friends-and relative_s for a anddlents Happy, He.althy and Prosperous New Year JtJr. l!t/tJrs. Ga.vriel Pollak Mr. S Mrs. N. Berliantin Brooklyn, N.Y. Perlman, C.P.A. S .C.F.P. MT. and Mts. Moishe Katt &Son Lawtenoe, LJ.

Mr. s Mrs. Lawrence 1r.\nm·n1:in:in n:i1u m\\b Family n:m::rnr.l>nn1 n:i>n:i S. Bootln s Miriam & Mendy Profesorske Dr•. &Mrs. wish one & all.a . Sora, Yossie, Ari, Esti ~ Dovid narold·Sthathter happy & healthy s7so Staten Island, IY:Y.

RabbiSMrs. Mr. lit Mrs. Israel Dembitzer Meir Shamntai ti:ii~ i'l~'J"'ltti it~"ri:;, Rennert Mr. el. Mrs, Me.naclie11t M. wish /flal .Yisroel Shayo'1ich a wish l(lal Yisroel and family ri)lw>1 n71m nll!I il:ll" i'IY.l':flfll iJ:lil"l:J ... to join the broadest coalition of Orthodox Jews, headed by eminent Torah authorities, for a four-day Torah experience at the

National Convention of Agudath Israel of America

To be held at a beautiful and convenient location:

THE PARSIPPANY HILTON Parsippany-Troy Hills, New Jersey (Less than one hour's drive from New York City) Thursday through Sunday November 23-26, 1989 l 11 vn 11vn nJ-nJ

---:''."'."""'.'-'."'."""'.'------,------,'."'."""'.''."'."""'.' ____ -,_,~:--:--,-'."'."""'.',-'."'."""'.',~,'."'."""'.''."'."""'.'-'."'."""'.':"""."''."'."""'.''."'."""'.', To: Agudath Israel of America, 84 William ${,, N, Y.~,i()038 Please reserve accommodations for ·. · persons Check •type of accommt:xlaJions teqtie$t1~· lq{v~ flr:t to the 67th National Convention of Agudath Israel and second choiceJ Allratesar~fordquoleoctupan:cy· of America, Thursday through Sunday, November 23- If. accommodation requested }s not av;iilab1¢/ next 26, 1989 at the Parsippany Hilton, Parsippany-Troy category will be· assigned. J-Iills, New Jersey. Rates Per Person. (Fot 4 Days; 31:::1.~hts)---...c ""~'- ··.·•. NAME--~------~---- 0 Standard O Preferred OSupt'ridt OPelull:e ADDRESS------~----~ $349 $389 $429> $479 C!TY-----STATE ---ZIP------TELEP!-IONE: Day (-)----Evening ( _) ____ 0 Single Occupancy (Limited) $.599 $100 Per Person Deposit Required. Please Enclose. D Wednesday evening atr\vaL at sp~~iali:;ate .Of $i9.: lRtservafions are subjeif to cohfiTmatioti.J per person (includes buffet•·· dinner. JN"!l~l1!'~tlay./ [am enclosing: evening & Thursday breakfast). · $ _____ dDeposit $100 per person: D Please send information regarding>childferils taJ¢s./ > 5750 Membership Dues: $ -=2s~.o~o'----_ Please nofe_tha1-1scro' ~iH ~e added tolhe--bHl_;::~~:s?~~l'.;~_li