The Half-Mind Hymnal
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THE HALF-MIND HYMNAL A Songbook for Hash House Harriers "Shocking! Disgusting! Delightful!" Compiled by Flying Booger December 2014 Edition Flying Booger’s Half-Mind Hymnal The Half-Mind Hymnal is a songbook for Hash House Harriers. Hash House Harriers, like rugby players, sing offensive songs – consider yourself warned! This songbook is a work in progress. I compiled my first hashing songbook in 1993. It contained about 200 songs. Shortly afterward I met famed Colorado hasher and songmaster Zippy. In 1994 we collaborated on a 400-song hymnal, introducing it at InterHash in Rotorua, New Zealand. Zippy and I continued to update the hymnal until his death in 2003; since then I have continued to add new material. The current edition of the Half- Mind Hymnal contains more than 800 songs, poems, and toasts. The Half-Mind Hymnal is dedicated to hashers and hashing. Additional thanks to Bollox, Beaver Bam Bam Balls, Ian Cumming, Sauer Krotch, Dum BUF, Mu-Sick, Catwoman, Neptunus, Sodbuster, Smoking Wiener, and three non-hashers: Derek Cashman, Ed Cray, and John Patrick. Thanks also to the authors of hash songbooks and to the many individual hashers who contributed (and continue to contribute) songs to this collection. Finally, thanks to the pilots of the USAF and NATO fighter squadrons in the Second Allied Tactical Air Force who started me singing and taught me the basic repertoire. Without their inspiration this songbook wouldn't exist. This edition, thanks to the efforts of Lone Wanker, is hyperlinked: click on a song category or the title of an individual song in the table of contents and you will be gently wafted, as if on the wings of hash angel Zippy, directly to where you wanted to go. I cannot thank Lone Wanker enough for undertaking that monumental task! On-On! Flying Booger 2 Main Table of Contents Flying Booger’s Half-Mind Hymnal Note to songmasters: a great way to teach hashers new tunes is to copy one or two songs from this book, hand them out at the hash, then lead the pack in singing. Personally, I think that's the best way to use this songbook. Note on copyright: there is some copyrighted material in this songbook – a few Monty Python songs, for example, that are popular with hashers. Please do not copy those, or tell anyone that I copied them! My own introductory comments, the way I organize the book, and the songs and poems I write myself are copyrighted, but you're welcome to share them with other hashers. Other than that, 99% of the material in this songbook is in the public domain – these songs belong to all of us, just as the Half-Mind Hymnal belongs to hashers everywhere. Note on melodies: to aid hashers who may be unfamiliar with individual songs, I try to provide melodies to sing them by. But that’s not always possible: I myself have not heard all of these songs performed, and some songs have their own unique melodies – you simply have to hear them to know how they go. Request for contributions: if you know songs you don't see here, or melodies to songs labeled "???" or "unknown," please send them to me for inclusion in future editions. I'll be happy to give you credit. My address is in the back. 3 Main Table of Contents Flying Booger’s Half-Mind Hymnal TABLE OF CONTENTS DOWN-DOWN DITTIES & HASH RITUALS ................................................................................................................. 5 HASH ANTHEMS .............................................................................................................................................................. 48 SONGS ABOUT HASHING & HASHERS ...................................................................................................................... 74 OUR ANIMAL FRIENDS................................................................................................................................................ 178 THE SPOKEN WORD ..................................................................................................................................................... 223 SWEET LOVIN' ............................................................................................................................................................... 285 HASH CALISTHENICS .................................................................................................................................................. 366 FAMOUS HARRIETTES ................................................................................................................................................ 383 FAMOUS HARRIERS ..................................................................................................................................................... 434 IN VINO VERITAS .......................................................................................................................................................... 484 HASH HOLIDAYS ........................................................................................................................................................... 507 HASH STANDARDS ........................................................................................................................................................ 542 JUST PLAIN SICK! ......................................................................................................................................................... 655 SMOKING WIENER'S COCKY HASH SONGS ......................................................................................................... 671 YANKEE AIR PIRATES ................................................................................................................................................. 714 CLOSING STATEMENTS .............................................................................................................................................. 733 4 Main Table of Contents Flying Booger’s Half-Mind Hymnal DOWN-DOWN DITTIES & HASH RITUALS Short songs, chants, and prayers to liven up the circle and down-downs A,B,C,D,E,F,G ..................................................................................................................................................................................... 7 AIR FORCE SONG ............................................................................................................................................................................ 7 ALL AUSTRALIANS ......................................................................................................................................................................... 7 AMAZING BEER ............................................................................................................................................................................... 8 AN DEM BIER .................................................................................................................................................................................... 8 ARMY SONG ...................................................................................................................................................................................... 8 AUNT I HIGH ..................................................................................................................................................................................... 9 AUTOHASH SONG ........................................................................................................................................................................... 9 BATTLE HYMN OF THE HASHER ............................................................................................................................................... 9 THE BEERY BUNCH ...................................................................................................................................................................... 10 BIERMEISTER’S LAMENT .......................................................................................................................................................... 10 BIRTHDAY SONGS......................................................................................................................................................................... 11 BIRTHDAY SONG # 1 .................................................................................................................................................................. 11 BIRTHDAY SONG # 2 .................................................................................................................................................................. 11 BIRTHDAY SONG # 3 .................................................................................................................................................................. 11 BIRTHDAY SONG # 4 .................................................................................................................................................................. 12 BIRTHDAY SONG # 5 .................................................................................................................................................................. 12 BIRTHDAY SONG # 6 .................................................................................................................................................................. 12 BIRTHDAY SONG # 7 .................................................................................................................................................................