T he Alliance Annual Meeting 6pm, December 12 Auditorium Center, 4th Floor The Empty Closet 875 E. Main Street, Rochester, New York local, state and national news, newsmaker interviews, opinion, entertainment, columnists, event calendars, and health resource listings number 463 a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley DEC-JAN 2013

NYS Assemblyman and Mon- roe County Democratic Chair Joe Morelle introduces Louise Slaughter on election night.

B rONSON Breezes To Victory: NYS Assemblyman Harry Bron- son addresses supporters on election night. Standing near Bron- son are his campaign manager and chief of staff Allan Richards and legislative aide Jen Skoog-Harvey. Photos: Ove Overmyer

E lection 2012 makes O’Brien heads to Albany: Democratic Monroe County Legislature Minority Leader history for gays, women Ted O’Brien (right) will repre- By Ove Overmyer bian Democratic House member sent the voters of the newly The first gay rights march in Rochester, 1973. Inset: The original When the state of Ohio from Wisconsin, made history by redrawn 55th Senate District. Empty Closet logo, by Sean O’Driscoll. finally went blue for Demo- winning election as the first out crat on Election LGBT member of the Senate. bent Scott Brown, former Gov- L ook who’s forty and fabulous! Night, the president cleared the More women than ever before ernor Tim Kaine against former 270-electoral vote hurdle to win were elected to the Senate. Senator George Allen in Virgin- Gay Alliance celebrates four his second four-year term. The In the Hudson Valley’s 18th ia, Congressman Joe Donnel- House of Representatives will congressional district in New ly over Indiana State Treasurer decades of service remain in Republican hands, York, Democratic challenger Richard Mourdock, and incum- By Joe Nardone and the Senate will keep its Sean Patrick Maloney, an out bent Claire McCaskill in her It’s hard to believe that 2013 Democratic majority. gay attorney, defeated freshman race against Congressman Todd will mark the fortieth year since Despite all the extreme rhet- Republican Nan Hayworth, Akin in Missouri guarantee that the Gay Alliance of the Gen- Empowering pride oric in a very nasty political becoming our state’s first LGBT the Democrats will hold control esee Valley officially opened its for 40 years. year when over six billion dollars representative in Washington. of the upper chamber on Capi- doors! As the first Rochester- were spent, President Obama Maloney’s victory in New York tol Hill. area organization to take a stand was eventually elected by a large was matched in Wisconsin, On the west coast, California for LGBT rights and provide a margin consisting primarily of where out gay State Represen- Congressional candidate Mark safe and inclusive environment young people, Hispanics, blacks, tative Mark Pocan, a Demo- Takano became the first openly for LGBT teens and adults, gays and women “micro-tar- crat, has won Baldwin’s current gay person of color in Congress the GAGV is standing tall and geted” by his effective get out House seat. and bisexual Arizona legislator in 2013 so we can continue to the vote effort in battleground Democratic Senate victories Kyrsten Sinema beat tremendous proud with much to celebrate! provide youth and senior pro- In honor of our birthday and states. by Baldwin, Elizabeth Warren odds to take a contentious race gramming, education, commu- Tammy Baldwin, an out les- in Massachusetts over incum- (E lection continues page 3) in an effort to keep our doors nity safety, referral resources, open for another 40 years, we’re and be the leading voice for initiating a very special way for Rochester’s LGBT communities. you to help celebrate with us -- The excitement is already build- all year long. ing – as we’re going to press, we It’s our Forty & Fabulous already have over 15 individuals F inger Lakes Out & Fundraiser! who committed to their favorite Equal wins “Outie” Be among 40 individuals or years! affiliate award teams who will each adopt their How does it work exactly? favorite year – starting from The Development Commit- By Susan Jordan 1973 through 2013 – and each tee of the Board of Directors Five silver “Outie” statu- help raise $4,000. Our overall is eagerly seeking individuals ettes were bestowed upon Outie agency goal is to raise $160,000 and/or team leaders who will Award winners at the 14th adopt their year and start raising annual Out & Equal Workplace funds. If you haven’t heard from Summit in Baltimore, Mary- G ay alliance a committee member already land. The Out & Equal Finger and you’re interested in partici- Lakes chapter won the Region- PARTNERSHIPS pating, don’t hesitate to contact al Affiliate Award, which was us at fortyandfabulous@gayal- accepted by Rochester’s Ralph T he Gay Alliance liance.org. We’d love to have Carter, Heidi Simmons and Bobby Wilkinson, USAA, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates; Heidi appreciates the continuing you! Carol Antinore. Simmons, Ortho-Clinical Diagnostics, a Johnson and Johnson We will utilize the First Giv- Around 1,000 LGBT Company and Ralph Carter, Xerox, at the Out & Equal conference partnership of businesses in Baltimore. within our community ing Page format since this is such employees and allies, along with who support our mission an easy way to raise money and human resources and diversity exceptional programming and localizing the mission of Out & and vision. support. In fact, we nearly dou- professionals, many representing sound organizational practices. Equal in the New York Finger bled our goal when we used this Fortune 500 companies, attend- The national Out & Equal Lakes region.” S ilver Level format for our Youth Camp this ed the Out & Equal Work- organization said, “The New Ralph Carter, Carol Antinore past summer! place Summit. The Summit is York Finger Lakes Region- (F inger Lakes continues page 3) Whether you adopt a year all the leading LGBT professional al Affiliate has built impres- to yourself as a sole contributor, development conference, equip- sive coalitions by engaging local or lead a team of contributing ping attendees with the tools, companies who are champions donors for your favorite year, you resources and connections to of workplace diversity. These Contents have all year to raise the money. create equitable and inclusive coalitions and partners provided Editorials: ...... 2 And not only will you help raise workplaces for LGBT people. the framework for the develop- Local/State News...... 3 National/International News..... 4 the much needed funds for the Individuals and companies are ment of Out & Equal’s very Interview: Dr. William Valenti...... 7 agency, but you’ll also be con- nominated for their demon- first regional Workplace Sum- Making the Scene...... 10 tributing to the much needed strated leadership and diversi- mit in 2011. The Affiliate has Holiday Wish List ...... 18 awareness of all the great work ty programs, which help build also developed a series of ‘Work Shoulders to Stand On ...... 21 GAGV does for Rochester: forty workplace cultures of inclusion It Out’ events for college stu- Columnists ...... 22 years of empowering pride. and equity. dents to help prepare them for Community ...... 25 As part of this year-long fun- The Regional Affiliate of Entertainment: John Waters .....27 job interviews, while provid- Gay Alliance News...... 30 draising celebration, we will fea- the Year honor is awarded to a ing a showcase for local busi- Rainbow SAGE News...... 31 ture historical events and people regional affiliate that has dem- nesses to brand their companies Calendar...... 34 sharing stories to honor the last onstrated commitment to the as welcoming and affirming. Classifieds...... 34 (Forty continues page 3) Out & Equal mission through The Affiliate is a true leader in 2 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their , or . Perspectives www.gayalliance.org From the From the Empty Closet Editor G ay Alliance Board Susan Jordan Gay Alliance News Update are fanatical followers of a reli- gion or professional defenders PARTNERSHIPS of the 1% (which apparently has stashed $32 trillion in Cay- continued man Islands and/or Swiss bank accounts). As Albert Speer, Hit- T he Gay Alliance ler’s former architect, said after appreciates the 1945, True Believers are “unedu- continuing partnership cable.” of businesses within Maine hate groups want to take same sex marriage back to our community who the ballot in defense of “reli- support our mission gious liberty” – their euphe- and vision. mism for “religious bigotry.” A B ronze Level NOM spokes-creep called Presi- dent Obama a “terrorist”. Inter- net photos of Obama-effigies being lynched, or shown with E ntitled placards reading “Pray 4 assas- H oliday Greetings tiate a week-long Youth Leader- sin,” apparently don’t constitute ship Camp for our LGBT youth. As election results came in terrorism. from the Board of Even after their time at camp, that on Nov. 6, the faces at Repub- Tony Perkins of the Family Directors! group continues to meet to grow lican HQ got increasingly grim. Research Council hate group their skills and mentor the young And TV watchers couldn’t help joined street-fightin’ billionaire By Bruce Gorman people who are coming after them but notice that those faces all buffoon Donald Trump in pre- and Emily Jones at the Center. This camp, coupled looked Aryan – blond or at least dicting/calling for a “revolution” As you may be awar,e there with over 150 community educa- fair-skinned and clean cut, with (a.k.a. violent takeover of the have been some leadership chang- tion outreach events, establishes expensive clothes and haircuts government). Faux News’ Bill es at the Gay Alliance. Anne the GAGV as the trainer of choice -- and all quite sure that they O’Reilly said, “50 percent of the Wakeman completed her six- for LGBT issues in the workplace, represent the legitimately Enti- voting public wants STUFF… month stand as Interim Execu- schools, universities and agencies tled: wealthy, white, heterosex- they think they are entitled to tive Director and while we work that provide health care to LGBT ual males (and their submissive THINGS.” And tired old Ann to seek permanent leadership, individuals. property). Coulter chimed in with the Joanne Giuffrida has stepped in We are so energized by the It was amusing to see how tired old claim that America is as our Business Manager. In that extensive and exciting work being the sore losers contradicted and “only interested in handouts.” role, Joanne is running the day- done to better serve our LGBT denounced each other. It had In their view, the legiti- to-day operations of the agency. population and the communi- simply never occurred to them mately Entitled are people like You may recall that Joanne served ty at large. The work that we that they could lose. Karl Rove themselves and those wealthy as interim ED prior to the hiring do with our seniors and youth, went into a hissy fit of deni- WASPS who wept at Republi- of Sue Cowell. groups which both face issues of al on Faux News, when Ohio can HQ on election night. And With a sense of enthusiasm rejection and isolation, is signifi- went for Obama. This just can’t that includes corporations, who and commitment to the Gay cant. We are very hopeful that as be happening! Post-Nov. 6, he of course are people and who Alliance of the Genesee Valley we develop our intergenerational announced that it was Hurri- don’t want handouts – except we are proud to announce that programming, these two popu- cane Sandy which had brought for all those billions that they we have taken on the role of Co- lations will achieve a unique about the unexpected downfall take from government, er, hand- Chairs of the GAGV Board of sense of pride and self esteem as of the Righteous Rich. outs, tax breaks and bailouts… Directors for the next year. We they share their life’s journeys Meanwhile, evangelical those don’t count! As for the have also put in place a succes- with one another. loons had been screaming that lowly 47% (Romney) or 50% sion plan for board leadership so Our primary goal is to insure Hurricane Sandy was God’s (O’Reilly) – we serfs aren’t Enti- as to “grow” our own leadership that the agency is placed on a punishment for America’s cod- tled to THINGS and STUFF team going forward. firm financial foundation. This dling of “teh gayz” – once again, like food, housing, jobs, educa- Last month we launched goal will be at the core of our Champion Level as with Katrina, Jehovah’s wrath tion or healthcare. our Annual Fall Appeal with year-long celebration as we offi- at Satan Spawn like us had So much for conservative a $20,000 Challenge Grant. cially turn “Forty and Fabulous” brought down a natural disas- “core values.” So much for the Already, many board members and will enable us to create the ter. So which was it, guys? If threat of Tea Party dominance along with a former Board Chair needed capabilities to empower God hates gays so much, why for the next four years. Now have stepped up and donated our LGBT community for the did He in His mysterious ways we can keep working for real cash gifts toward our goal. We next 40 years. The details about cause a hurricane -- which then change, just fighting the usual thank you for your generosity in this celebration and how you can brought victory to supporters of rightwing obstructionism with- the past and hope we can count participate can be found on the gay rights? out having to spend all our on you again, knowing that your front page of this issue. It is a mistake to look for energy resisting an extremist donations will be matched dollar Thank you in advance for your rational thought among fanat- regime’s constant attacks on our for dollar! support of our work, that of the ics and ideologues, whether they civil rights. ■ This year we were able to ini- entire board and the agency staff.■

Many things Name Address City/State/Zip Equal=Grounds Coffee House & Gift House Phone E-mail r e on o c i d Me mbership levels: h p r GARD ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100-999 Champion e s t e r ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Enclosed is my check in the amount of ______(check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of: ______To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # ______Exp. Date: ______❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged. Tepth Em y Closet • Youth Program • R oCHESTER Pride ❏ Please provide me Rainbow SAGE Program (age 50+) News E dUCATION Program & Speakers Bureau Friend Level L iBRARy & Archives • gay alliance R eSOURCE Directory Benefits include: a subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, Souldersh to Stand On • Rinbowa SAGE • S afeZONE plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership in the Gay Alliance. 12-1/13 The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.GayAlliance.org for Many people dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 3

lies… We have built a strong Empire State the best it can be. page one grassroots organization that we Your trust in me is a privilege I can be proud of. Despite being do not take lightly.” the target of millions from Karl NYS Senate Dems win NewsFronts (Election from page 1) Rove and the Koch brothers, we Alesi seat for a seat in the House of Rep- were able to fight back and we In what may have been the resentatives. Sinema is the first were able to win.” most expensive New York State L ocal and State openly bisexual member of Con- The race went negative Senatorial campaign in histo- gress. (More national news on early, with Slaughter’s camp fir- ry, Democrat Ted O’Brien won page 4.) ing back at vicious attacks by the race for the state Senate’s Local Democrats wallop Brooks’ surrogates. Brooks’ sup- 55th District seat. O’Brien and GOP porters were particularly nasty, Republican Sean Hanna were Incumbent Democrat Lou- taking digs at Slaughter’s age — running for the open seat that ise Slaughter defeated Republi- she’s 83 — and appearance. was previously held by Republi- can challenger Monroe County Slaughter returns for a 14th can Jim Alesi, who decided not Executive Maggie Brooks in the term in Congress, while Brooks to seek reelection. race for the 25th Congressio- has three years left as county The race was a contentious nal District. The race attracted executive before term limits kick one and from the early stages a lot of attention and a lot of in. of the campaign. O’Brien was soft money, including a last-min- Bronson breezes to victory the target of untruthful and ute, $1.3 million ad-buy from a Incumbent Rochester Dem- unrelenting attack ads from an Karl Rove-connected group for ocrat Harry Bronson, who was anonymous group, but voters Brooks. President first elected to the New York evidently dismissed those tac- visited Rochester to star at a rally State Assembly in 2010 as the tics with disdain. The race drew for Louise. first openly gay upstate legis- statewide interest because it has In a morning email to sup- lator, had a solid victory over implications for which party porters after the election, his Republican challenger Peter- controls the state Senate. That Slaughter said, “We beat back son Vazquez. Bronson received question was not settled at press- Karl Rove, the Koch Brothers 63 percent of the vote, while time, but O’Brien’s victory does and all the money they poured Vazquez received 37 percent. flip a Republican seat to a Dem- into trying to buy this seat. We In his acceptance speech to a ocratic seat. were victorious!” packed house at the Hyatt Ball- O’Brien received approxi- She added, “This election room in downtown Rochester, mately 64,800 votes to the was never about me, it was never Bronson thanked his family and approximately 59,900 votes Jenny Boylan speaking at Brockport. Photo: Khoury Humphrey about my opponent, it was about supporters. He said, “Thank you Hanna received, according to the future of our families. We to the families of the 138th Dis- the Monroe County Board were able to stand strong and trict. You have allowed me into of Elections and the Ontario Jennifer Finney edge by the wind, Jenny fell to make sure that New York has your homes so I could listen and County Board of Elections. Boylan: variance is the ground and heard a voice a constant advocate who will learn from you — so you could Monroe County Legisla- saying, “Are you all right? You’re fight for our middle class fami- add your voice to help make the (E lection continues page 6) the norm going to be all right.” Was it the voice of her guardian angel, or By Susan Jordan her late father? She concluded, Jennifer Finney Boylan – “It was the voice of my future novelist, transwoman, English self – the woman that I would (Forty from page 1) 1987: professor and blues/rock key- become.” forty years, right here on our PFLAG was board player -- spoke at SUNY Jenny did some Trans 101 front page and on our website, recognized for Brockport on Nov. 1, hosted by for the audience and took ques- starting in the new year, so its efforts in the Brockport LGBT student tions. She described being keep watching and share with reaching out to group SOUL (Sexual Orienta- uncertain about her body as a your friends and families as a gays and help- tions United for Liberation). Her teenager: “I saw girls becoming reminder of why this is such a ing families and humor and confidence bridged women and wanted to say [in a great cause. friends be sup- the gap between over 200 peo- tiny voice] ‘take me with you!’” What’s your favorite year? portive. ple, mostly students, and most Jenny said, “Transition was As we look back and reflect 2002: presumably cisgendered, and a not so much a decision as an on our trials and tribulations The passage real understanding of the trans erosion” – of self-doubt and over the last forty years, we do of SONDA, experience. fear. One significant moment so with a clear focus on our which prohib- Jenny was not always con- came when she was told she was future. Thank you for being its discrimi- fident about her gender iden- “almost like somebody someone part of our past and we hope nation on the tity and its meaning. Her 2003 would know.” “Almost…” she you’ll join us in making our basis of actu- memoir “She’s Not There,” an repeated with a wry smile. Forty & Fabulous Fundraiser al or perceived updated version of which will She emphasized Kinsey’s a great success. We think our sexual orienta- be published in April, relates statement that variance in sex- friends and families are going to tion in employ- her long, hard struggle to ual behavior is the norm. After have lots of fun with it. ment, housing, An early membership appeal. accept herself as a transwoman, she finished her talk, with a So choose your favorite year public accom- and all the changes in her life hilarious account of a conver- and let’s get this party started! modations, edu- that followed. sation with her son who had And if you need inspiration on cation, credit and the exercise of providing powerful voices for Jenny began by reading revealed his desire to work with choosing a year to adopt... take civil rights. dignity and civil rights; and from her book “Stuck in the poisonous snakes in Australia, a look. 1979: Gays were assaulted in being a region and city built on Middle With You,” about the the youthful audience gave her 1973: While homosexu- Durand Eastman Park culmi- the quest of people seeking to differences between mother- a standing ovation. One young al acts were considered illegal nating in an outcry and march better their lives with opportu- hood and fatherhood. She said, man had watched her with a on the beach, just a month in New York state, the newly nities to express free thought, “I was a father for six years and stony face all evening, never formed Gay Alliance marched before the Downtown United a mother for 10, and in between innovation, education and wor- smiling at her jokes – but at the on City Hall four times and Presbyterian Church voted to was both and neither…. I was end his friends were all laugh- opened its doors at 812 Brown become a “More Light” congre- ship. a feminine father and a mas- Building on this foundation, ing and applauding, and his Street. gation guaranteeing full mem- culine mother... As a father I attitude may have started to 1994: City Council pass- bership to gay people. the Gay Alliance of the Gene- taught my sons to iron dress see Valley’s mission is dedicated change. Certainly Jenny Boylan es domestic partnership legisla- 1990: While the fight for shirts… as a mother I taught sowed some seeds that night. tion, the AIDS Quilt comes to domestic partnership benefits to cultivating a healthy, inclu- them to split wood.” She hopes One line from “She’s Not Rochester.. for City of Rochester employees sive environment where indi- that her sons have learned to be There” especially sticks with 1977: While gay people and their partners was in full viduals of all sexual orientations more flexible and have become me: “As it turns out, we’re all were being compared to can- swing, the GAGV moved to its and gender expressions are safe, better men because of her par- still learning to be men, or cer victims and members of new center at Atlantic Avenue thriving, and enjoying full civil enting. women, all still learning to be Charles Manson’s cult, the and Elton St. rights. “In the Early Morning ourselves.” GAGV gained a big win and 1974: Lt. Gordon Urlaucher Even as the leading voice for Rain,” from “She’s Not There” local visibility with a 7-1 vote in of the Rochester Police Depart- LGBT issues, GAGV has been and also the “It Gets Better” N athan Schafer, favor of CETA Funds. ment first met with GAGV and left behind among broader com- anthology, describes her trou- new Pride Agenda 1980: GAGV hosts its first established an official liaison munity agendas. Even today, bled life as a young “male” Gay Prom at the First Unitar- with the gay community. the LGBT population of Roch- and her near-attempt at sui- ED, visits 1992: ian Church. The Presbyterian ester experiences cide on a cliff in Nova Scotia. 1978: GAGV organized Church (USA) reversed the Even when dealing with such Rochester its first demonstration to pro- decision made by the Down- and daily from the media and personally on many a serious topic, her irrepress- By Susan Jordan test Anita Bryant’s “Save the town United Presbyterian ible humor shines through: “I levels from peers, family, school Nathan Schafer became the Children” campaign of bigot- Church to nominate the Rev- thought about settling in one new executive director of the ry against gays when she per- erend Jane Spahr, an openly gay officials, police, clergy, employ- of the little villages around Empire State Pride Agenda on formed at the Dome Arena. woman minister, to its pastoral ers and co-workers. here, just starting life over as Oct. 15. On Nov. 13-14 he 1992: While President Clin- staff. So, while we’ve made great a woman. I’d tell everyone I was in Rochester to meet with ton gets the Supreme Court 2011: The New York state strides, the need to empower was Canadian. Then I lay on members of the LGBT and ally approval for “don’t ask, don’t senate passes Governor Andrew pride in all individuals is as my back and sobbed. Nobody communities. tell,” Rochester gets its first Les- Cuomo’s Marriage Equality Act important today as the day we would ever believe I was Cana- Lobbying for the passage of bian and Gay Film and Video by a vote of 33–29. opened in 1973. We need your dian.” GENDA, the bill which would Festival. Rochester has a history of help. ■ Blown back from the cliff (N athan continues page 6) 4 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

in the movement for full citizenship for States Senate, Tammy Baldwin is a role LGBT people,” model for LGBT youth and all young chief Chad Griffin said in a press release women across the country. NewsFronts on the night of Nov. 6. “Voters in Maine “With a relentless focus on the issues came to the common-sense conclusion that matter most to Wisconsin voters that all people deserve the ability to make — economic security, access to health- loving, lifelong commitments through care, and fairness and inclusion for all. national and international marriage.” As a result, she’s earned the respect of all The Maine vote is particularly heart- her constituents, gay and straight. It was ening, since just three years ago a popu- HRC’s privilege to be part of the broad lar vote overturned legislation that would coalition that helped ensure her victory, have legalized same-sex marriage in the and we can’t wait to work with her and her state. team as she takes on this new role.” “Securing marriage equality at the bal- Mark Pocan, who is also openly gay, lot box in Maine is especially appreciated was elected to succeed Tammy in the the second time around,” R. Clark Coo- House. per, head of the Log Cabin Republicans, Obama wins after backing marriage the largest Republican group that sup- equality ports same-sex marriage, told The Huff- Freedom to Marry applauded the ington Post in an email. reelection of President Obama, the first Although six states and Washington, sitting president to support the freedom D.C. legalized gay marriage before 2012, to marry, who campaigned on that posi- they did so through the votes of state leg- tion and saw it motivate supporters and islators or court decisions. The new vic- galvanize voters in a tight race. The tory undermines the conservative premise reelection of the Democratic candidate that those early wins were merely the came after the party went on record with result of liberal bias in state legislatures a historic “freedom to marry” plank in its and the courts, and it reflects what recent national platform, and after the president polls have shown to be a shift in Ameri- spoke out clearly and strongly in favor of cans’ views on the issue, according to the marriage in the state ballot battles. The Huffington Post. contrast between the two presidential can- Washington’s Referendum 74 looked didates, and the two parties, on the free- likely to pass on Nov. 7, though final dom to marry could not have been starker, word was not given until Nov. 8. With and the American people voted for the 1,887,094 votes counted, 52 percent freedom to marry candidate. San Francisco’s Castro celebrates on election night. approve to 48 percent oppose. The holdup Evan Wolfson, president and founder was King County, which still had tons of of Freedom to Marry, issued this state- E lection is massive riage equality. ballots to count the day after the election. ment: Since the late ‘90s, a total of 32 states Still, with 65 percent of King County vot- “In reelecting President Obama, the triumph for LGBT have held votes on same-sex marriage, and ers approving R-74 in the initial count, American people chose a candidate who Americans’ rights each time, voters have opposed the mea- and that trend likely to continue through strongly and explicitly supports the free- sure. For opponents of same-sex marriage, the full count, seasoned political watchers dom to marry -- and rejected a challenger From President Obama’s re-election, this string of victories has been a crucial were correctly predicting victory on Nov. who had opposed the freedom to marry to the victories of national openly gay can- talking point. As Brian Brown, president 7. “Fifty-two percent, with King County and criticized every step the president didates like Tammy Baldwin, now Sena- of the National Organization for Mar- what it is — it’s still time to call Wash- has taken to end against tor-elect from Wisconsin, and pro-LGBT riage, the nation’s leading group opposing ington State for marriage equality,” said loving and committed gay couples and candidates like Senator-elect Elizabeth gay marriage, said in a press release this Governor Chris Gregoire. their families. Far from hurting Presi- Warren of Massachusetts, to the marriage summer: “The American people know Similarly, Matt Barreto, who runs dent Obama, his support for the free- equality ballot issues in Maine, Maryland, in their heart what marriage is, and they the Washington Poll, projected that R-74 dom to marry undoubtedly galvanized Minnesota and Washington, to victories have expressed that in the form of over 70 would be approved and added that he his base and independents, delivering the for NYS gay candidates like Harry Bron- million votes cast in 32 consecutive state expected Jay Inslee to be the next gover- turn-out that carried him to victory. The son and Sean Patrick Maloney and pro- elections to preserve marriage as the union nor. “King County delivered both,” Bar- president’s reelection further reflects and LGBT candidates like Kristen Gillibrand, of one man and one woman.” reto said. accelerates the momentum for marriage, Ted O’Brien and Louise Slaughter, the Not any more. After the election, Gay blogger Andy Towle commented, which Freedom to Marry will transform 2012 election was a massive victory for some rightwing organizers blamed the “This was an election night that LGBT into more victories in 2013. LGBT Americans. loss on their own base, angrily denounc- equality has never seen. For the first time “As we grow support in Congress and Minnesota has voted down Amend- ing conservatives and evangelical Chris- ever, measures on marriage equality suc- create a climate of encouragement around ment 1, a constitutional amendment that tians for insufficient turnout. Others, ceeded at the ballot. With the Maryland the Supreme Court, we look forward to would have defined marriage as being a including Karl Rove, blamed Hurricane and Maine wins this was unprecedented. working with President Obama and other union solely between a man and a woman. Sandy, while some evangelicals said that, NOM, who can no longer say we’ve ‘lost supporters across the political spectrum to The state became the first in the country on the contrary, God had actually caused every time’ when same-sex marriage mea- advance our Roadmap to Victory national to vote against such an amendment on the the hurricane as punishment for Ameri- sures have been put before voters, must be strategy for winning marriage nationwide: ballot when results were announced early ca’s acceptance of gays. Conservative hate crying into their Cheerios this morning. joining together to enlarge and diversify on Nov. 7. groups again called for a violent uprising They are finished.” (Towleroad.com) the majority for marriage, win the free- Maryland and Maine have approved to overthrow American democracy. Lib- Tammy Baldwin goes to dom to marry in more states, and over- marriage equality. In Washington state, eral commentators like Rachel Maddow the Senate turn the so-called Defense of Marriage the passing of Referendum 74, granting observed that few Republican leaders are Upon the Wisconsin Senate Race Act that discriminates against legally mar- marriage rights to LGBT citizens, came questioning their party’s “core values” being called for Tammy Baldwin, Human ried couples.” several days after the election, due to the in regard to gay rights, women’s rights, Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin Upon news President Obama was re- state’s mail-in voting system. immigration issues, poverty, or middle released the following statement: elected, HRC President Chad Griffin stat- For the first time in history, voters class working people’s concerns. “Tammy Baldwin has always been a ed, “As millions of Americans celebrate chose to legalize same-sex marriage on the Maine backs equality trailblazer, but with her victory tonight President Obama’s reelection tonight, the ballot. Gay rights advocates are celebrat- “This is a landmark election for mar- Senator-elect Baldwin has again earned LGBT community is particularly elated ing this development as a critical victory riage equality and we will forever look her spot in the history books. As the first to send the most pro-equality president and a turning point in the fight for mar- back at this year as a critical turning point openly gay person elected to the United ever back to the White House for a second dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 5 term. There is no doubt that we will con- motivated millions of voters and sparked right now!” “Last night, the vast majority of Pride tinue to see tremendous progress toward conversations that led to wins for mar- Heather Cronk, Managing Director: Agenda-endorsed candidates won their full equality like we’ve made during his riage at the ballot box. His win is further “As a Marylander, I’m ecstatic that LGBT election,” said Schafer. “Despite the first four years. proof of the marriage equality movement’s Americans have finally defended our civil threats of our opposition, we clearly deliv- “While some pundits predicted the momentum.” rights at the ballot box in multiple states ered the message that voting for equality President’s support for marriage equality HRC: Pickup of Fair-Minded and across this country. Tonight, the nation is not only the right thing to do, it is the would hinder his campaign, we know the Openly LGB Members of Congress re-elected President Obama to another politically pragmatic thing to do. We will opposite is true. President Obama’s his- “For LGBT youth who aspire to public four years in the White House -- and forcefully carry this message to Albany toric and heartfelt declaration that all lov- service, we have shattered a glass by send- tonight LGBT activists have our march- as we continue to press for long overdue ing and committed couples should be able ing Tammy Baldwin to the Senate and ing orders for the next four years. The civil rights.” to marry further rallied millions of voters increasing the number openly LGB mem- president has told us over and over again and sparked conversations that advanced bers of Congress. In the Senate we have at to hold his feet to the fire in order to cre- M aine makes history; marriage campaigns around the country. least three new marriage equality support- ate real progress in this country, and we His reelection after expressing support for ers who proudly declared their support for take that task very seriously. Tonight, the marriages may start as marriage equality is further proof that the marriage for gay and lesbian couples on election is over but the work to get equal soon as Dec. 6 momentum is on the side of marriage for the campaign trail.” has only just begun.” all families. HRC: Voters Retain Iowa Justice Felipe Sousa-Rodriguez, National Maine has become the first state to “With our Ally-in-Chief back in the Who Decided for Marriage Field Director: “We worked for weeks in approve the freedom to marry for same- White House, we look forward to work- “It appears that Iowans have made a sex couples through a majority vote on Florida, Maryland, and Ohio, calling and a ballot measure. The state is expected ing with him on a host of issues including strong statement for judicial independence talking with voters who are friendly to addressing workplace non-discrimination to begin issuing marriage licenses this and refused to let politics get in the way of LGBT and immigration rights. Our col- month. and expanding federal benefits to same- judges doing their duty to uphold the law. lective labor as a community has engaged “Today, a majority in Maine voted in sex couples.” Anti-gay groups trying to exact political marginalized voters and brought them Black AIDS Institute favor of loving and committed same-sex retribution on judges should learn their into the political process -- and now our couples seeking the freedom to marry,” Phill Wilson of the Black AIDS Insti- lesson. Marriage equality remains the law collective labor will demand that Presi- said Freedom to Marry National Cam- tute said, “We congratulate President of the land in Iowa and judges like Justice dent Obama use every bit of his power to paign Director Marc Solomon. “Now Obama. Over the next four years, we Wiggins will continue to do their jobs.” help us -- all of us -- get equal.” the commitment gay and lesbian couples must work with the administration to HRC: LGBT Voters Flex Political Local/state results have made in life will be respected equal- help them to understand the urgency and Muscle, Break for President In New York State, pro-gay Sen. ly under the law, celebrated before their opportunity for ending the AIDS epidem- “Our community has flexed our polit- Kristen Gillibrand won her race. In the loved ones, and called what it is: marriage. ic. We must encourage them to invest in ical muscle with exit polls showing an Rochester area, Congresswoman Louise “It’s hard to overstate the national both the infrastructure to make sure that increase from four percent of the vote in Slaughter, longtime supporter of LGBT significance of this vote,” Solomon con- the 1.1 Americans living with HIV reach 2008 to five percent this year. And the civil rights, won re-election, as did openly tinued. “For years, our opponents have viral suppression and in an environment President gained many more supporters gay NYS Assembly member Harry Bron- argued that we could not win a major- in which people living with HIV are free among lesbian, gay and bisexual voters – son. Pro-gay Ted O’Brien is now a NYS ity vote at the ballot. Today, Maine vot- from the stigma and discrimination that jumping seven points to garner 77 percent senator-elect. ers proved them wrong, standing up for create barriers to appropriate treatment, of our vote.” Nathan Schafer of the Empire State the Golden Rule and for freedom for all retention in care, and contributing to our HRC: Moving Forward Pride Agenda commented, “The vast Mainers.” society. Griffin concluded, “Tonight we cel- majority of New York State legislators who “We congratulate Mainers United “We expect that during his second ebrate, but tomorrow morning we get up voted for marriage won their re-election. for Marriage Campaign Director Matt term President Obama will double down and get back to work so that the victories Despite the threats of our opposition, we McTighe for the extraordinary effort he on his efforts and commitment to end the we hail tonight are felt everywhere across clearly delivered the message that voting has run, as well as all the coalition part- epidemic.” this great country. Too many people are for equality is not only the right thing to ners, and particularly Equality Maine and Human Rights Campaign denied the ability to marry. Too many do, it is the politically pragmatic thing to Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defend- HRC’s Chad Griffin commented, people go to their jobs without workplace do. We will forcefully carry this message ers, for their steadfast commitment to this “For the first time, voters in Maine and protections. Too many young people go to to Albany as we continue to press for long- fight,” said Solomon. Maryland voted to allow loving couples bed at night and stare at the ceiling, sleep- overdue transgender civil rights. ACLU to make lifelong commitments through lessly wondering what awaits them the “There are two State Senate races in “Maine voters chose freedom over marriage – forever taking away the right- next day at school or at church or in their which we endorsed and were particularly fear,” said Shenna Bellows, executive wing talking point that marriage equality own home. Thanks to all the hard work invested that I want to highlight for you: director of the ACLU of Maine and mem- couldn’t win on the ballot. No amount of in achieving tonight’s victories, we finally “Ted O’Brien was in a tight race in ber of the campaign executive committee. well-funded lies about our families could have momentum on our side and we will Rochester for an open Senate seat. His “Our work continues, but this win con- deceive Mainers and Marylanders…. The not rest until the promise of equal justice predecessor, Senator James Alesi, voted firms that one-on-one conversations with momentum for marriage equality has under the law is realized for every single for marriage and it was critical that the friends and neighbors can effect statewide never been stronger, and with poll after person living in every single corner of this seat remain firmly pro-LGBT. Through change. This victory was grounded in poll showing a growing majority of sup- vast country.” hard work, perseverance and exceptional courage and freedom of speech by thou- port, we have a renewed certainty that we GetEQUAL political acumen, Ted O’Brien emerged sands of people who dared to tell their will win this fight.” GetEQUAL -- a national civil rights victorious and will be one of our champi- personal stories over and over again.” HRC: Pro-Marriage Equality Presi- organization fighting for the full equality ons in Albany. “With this historic election, there can dent Wins Reelection of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender “Senator Joe Addabbo’s district bore be no denying that tonight is a water- “As millions of Americans celebrate Americans -- issued the following state- much of the brunt of the storm last week. shed moment for gay and lesbian families President Obama’s reelection tonight, the ments: The challenges that voters in his district in America,” said James Esseks, director LGBT community is particularly elated Robin McGehee, Executive Director: had to overcome in order to cast their vote of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and to return the most pro-equality Presi- “It’s thrilling to see such a landslide of were immense. In recent days, Joe Addab- Transgender Project. “Not long ago, mar- dent ever to a second term,” Griffin said. progressive wins tonight -- from equality- bo has reiterated his support for marriage riage for same-sex couples was unimagi- “There is no doubt that we will continue minded candidates, to opportunity for and pledged to continue his leadership by nable. In a remarkably short time, we to see tremendous strides forward like all our young people through access to sponsoring the Gender Expression Non- have seen courts start to rule in favor of we’ve made during his first four years with higher education, to marriage winning at Discrimination Act (GENDA). And last the freedom to marry, then legislatures our Ally-in-Chief back in office. While the ballot box for the first time. I’m over- night, he won his race!” affirm it, and now the people vote for it as some pundits predicted the President’s whelmed with hope for our country, hope In addition, two former Pride Agenda well. Today’s election illustrates both the support for marriage equality would hin- for our community, and hope for my chil- board members were elected: U.S. Con- astonishing pace of change on this issue as der his campaign, we know the opposite dren. Now is the time to ensure that all gressman-elect Sean Patrick Maloney and well as America’s commitment to fairness is true. His historic and heartfelt dec- of the candidates who won tonight hold New York State Senator-elect Brad Hoyl- for everyone.” laration that all loving and committed steadfast to their commitments to equal- man (replacing retiring openly gay Tom Before this election, six states plus couples should be able to marry further ity and justice for all -- our work begins Duane). (M aine continue page 14) 6 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

State Constitution to define marriage as but to end discrimination. students help them to prepare and navi- page one between a man and a woman, a measure NOM also failed to unseat Buffalo, gate the interview, and provide a showcase that has been enshrined in the consti- N.Y. Senator Mark Grisanti, a Republican for local businesses to brand their compa- tutions of 30 states. A state law barring legislator who helped pass marriage equal- nies as welcoming and affirming.” ■ (Election continued from page 3) same-sex marriage remains on the books ity in 2011. Ralph Carter and Heidi Simmons there, but with the defeat of the amend- spoke with The Empty Closet about their ture sees red ment, the door remains open to change by experiences at the conference, and the Despite all the positives for Democrats the legislature or the courts. work of the OENYFL. Ralph said, “I’ve this election year, at the local level Repub- While six states and the District of ( Out & Equal from page 1) been to a number of these conferences licans in the County Legislature increased Columbia have legalized same-sex mar- and usually people aren’t very attentive to their majority by one member on election and Heidi Simmons thanked the Out and riage through judicial or legislative deci- Equal Board, Selisse Barry. Kevin Jones the group award; they’re more interested night. Irondequoit foot doctor Joe Car- sions, voters had rejected it more than in the individuals and corporations. But bone unseated RIT professor Stephanie and Nancy Mace for honoring the NY 30 times in a row. LGBT and civil rights Finger Lakes Affiliate. people did listen to what we had to say, Aldersley, the Democrat who was appoint- groups said the victories were an impor- which was very refreshing.” ed to a vacant seat earlier this year. Ralph Carter said, “When Nancy tant sign that public opinion was shifting Mace called letting us know that we had Ralph and Heidi told The Empty The race was very close, which did in the direction of equality. Closet that the group is meeting with not come as a surprise since Carbone nar- won the award, she asked the following In an email to constituents, Human questions: How was OENYFL able to faculty advisors to LGBT student groups rowly lost to Democrat Vinnie Esposito, Rights Campaign president Chad Grif- at four colleges, to ask them to notify who held the seat before Aldersley, in sustain a monthly networking meeting fin said, “We have made history for mar- where 70 to 100 hundred people attend students about the Work It Out events, the 2011 elections. Esposito resigned this riage equality by winning our first victory which will be held at each college, hope- year to take a job with the state. Aldersley each month? How was OENYFL able to at the ballot box.” The Human Rights produce a successful Regional Summit? fully in the spring term. He said, “Our served 10 years in the Legislature prior to Campaign raised millions of dollars for approach will be to invite some Out & Esposito’s tenure. How are we able to grow our affiliate the measures in the four states. every month where we currently have 650 Equal members to talk with students Carbone’s victory brings the Repub- In another sign of shifting public atti- about how to come out to interviewers, lican majority one vote closer to a two- members? tudes, a drive by social conservatives in “Questions she didn’t ask: Why did and if you should.” thirds majority. That’s important in terms Iowa to unseat David S. Wiggins, one of Heidi said, “One thing I did when I of county borrowing, which requires sup- the Greater Rochester region have three of seven State Supreme Court justices who its major Fortune 500 companies as mem- was thinking about applying for a job was port from two-thirds of the legislators, or voted unanimously in 2007 to legalize bers of the first 13 companies scoring 100 to reach out to Ralph and ask him if he 20 out of 29 votes. When Carbone takes same-sex marriage, fell short. Only two percent on the HRC CEI? knew anyone at that company who was office the Republican majority will have years ago, three other justices who faced “Why are there more faith organiza- out. He said to search the database on the 19 of the 29 seats in the legislature. similar electoral challenges were voted tions than gay organizations marching in OENYFL website and sure enough there Marriage Equality wins out; public out as conservatives, backed by out-of- were two people who I was able to ask attitudes shifting the annual ? Why was the state donations, argued that the court had first O&E Conference held in Rochester about the climate there – they both said Voters in Maine and Maryland overstepped its role by ruling in favor of in 1998? Why have Rochester companies positive things about the company. I did approved same sex marriage on a day of LGBT citizens’ civil rights. received every one of the O&E Awards apply and they really did tip me off.” election results that jubilant gay rights In Baltimore, supporters of Mary- and some have been received twice for Both Heidi and Ralph said they were very impressed by the number of govern- advocates called a historic turning point, land’s referendum feverishly danced in outstanding senior leadership? the first time that marriage for the streets at midnight. The final tally ment groups represented in the exhibit “We can only answer that it is the hall, where companies provide informa- and has been approved at the in Maryland was a four-point margin, 52 greater Rochester region! We have the ballot box. Washington state was not far percent for same-sex marriage and 48 per- tion. Heidi said, “I was surprised to see oldest continually published gay newspa- the CIA!” behind, and when the final votes were in, cent against. per in the United States, our Gay Alliance so was marriage equality. History has not been kind to mar- Ralph commented, “There are many will celebrate its 40 year anniversary in gay employees of the federal government. Chuck Wolfe, president and CEO of riage equality 2013, having been spawned from one of the Victory Fund, said in an email to sup- It has been a constant theme of oppo- I went to a workshop on global issues and the first 80 Groups on the people from the State Department were porters, “Sometimes progress comes in fits nents of same-sex marriage that whenever University of Rochester campus following and starts, harder to detect than we’d like. there. They have made funding criteria the issue has been put before voters it has the in 1969. for other countries include how the gov- Last night was not like that. Last night lost. In 30 states, voters have limited mar- “We are a region steeped in civil rights, was a breathtaking leap forward” ernment of that country treats LGBT riage to a man and a woman through home to Susan B. Anthony and Fredrick citizens.” In Minnesota, in another first, vot- constitutional amendments and same-sex Douglas. We have an Iroquois and Quak- ers rejected a proposal to amend the OENYFL has some special events marriage has also been blocked in referen- er heritage that affirms and celebrates dif- coming up in 2013. For more informa- dums like those in California in 2008 and ference. As such we celebrate new ideas tion about that, and on joining OENYFL, Maine in 2009. and are known for invention and inno- go to the website www.outandequalfin- Earlier this year, the legislatures in vation. We lead NYS in the number of gerlakes.org, or come to one of the Sec- Washington and Maryland approved jobs created outside of NY City follow- ond Thursdays Networking events. The same-sex marriage, but opponents gath- ing the Great Recession. Richard Florida December event will be held Dec. 13 ered enough signatures to force this fall’s in his seminal work, Rise of the Creative from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Strathallen. referenda. In Maine, since their loss in Class made the direct correlation between Heidi suggested, “It’s helpful if people 2009, gay rights advocates have been cul- technology company density and LGBT can RSVP to the networking events; we tivating public opinion in one-on-one density in a community. If you affirm will have a name tag ready for them and it conversations, and this year sponsored a different ideas, you will also affirm differ- helps us organize the event.” ■ repeat election and reversal of the verdict. ence among individuals. The region has In the final week of the campaigns, the one of the leading Divinity Schools in the opponents of same-sex marriage, mainly nation as well as being home to 18 colleges local financed by the National Organization for and universities. and state Marriage and the Mormon and Roman “OENYFL builds coalitions continu- Catholic Churches, mounted a barrage of ally by inviting a different community advertising and telephone appeals in all partner to join us at monthly events, we (N athan from page 3) four states, trying to convince undecided help them create visibility and brand rec- give equal nondiscrimination protections voters that “redefining marriage” would ognition. We invite companies who create to trans New Yorkers, is at the top of the force schools to “teach gay marriage” and welcoming and affirming workplaces to Pride Agenda’s priorities. Conservatives require businesses and churches to violate host our monthly meetings and share why have blocked its passage with vicious, religious principles. they affirm the LGBT community and irresponsible propaganda, calling it “the Rights groups have denounced those why it is good for their business to do so. bathroom bill,” which they claim would messages as misleading scare tactics and We have created a quarterly ERG round- send thousands of “men in skirts” rush- say they do not seek to redefine marriage table. Our Work It Out events for college (N athan continues page 12) dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 7

the National LGBT Cancer Network and the Institute of Medicine).” The important part is not AIDS Care projects that by the end just to open the door, but to put Interview of year three of the operation, they will have a program enrollment of 3,000 a healthcare program together patients. The increased volume of activ- that meets the needs of those ity and accompanying patient revenue will decrease the need for subsidies and not in care now – trans people, lead to financial sustainability beginning Dr. William Valenti, in year four. lesbians who need mammo- AIDS Care Dr. Valenti said, “The important part grams, etc. We’re working on is not just to open the door, but to put a By Susan Jordan healthcare program together that meets those kinds of things. Many LGBT people face barriers to the needs of those not in care now – trans adequate, quality health care. To address people, lesbians who need mammograms, these health disparities, AC Center, Inc., etc. We’re working on those kinds of the parent company of AIDS Care, is things. Our research with focus groups implementing a primary care program to and online surveys gave us a reading on address the health needs unique to these what people thought about their own March or April,” he said. “Funding – it’s populations (“LGBT Health”). healthcare and their needs for a program the big issue for us. In order for us to be In focus groups, online and in-person which is for LGBT people. People want able to accept large numbers of patients, surveys of almost 600 LGBT individuals, an affirming environment – not necessar- we need to gear up – hiring new staff respondents indicated the importance of ily gay but sensitive and culturally com- (physician, nursing staff, social worker, culturally competent health care and indi- petent. About 25 or 30 people we talked expanding mental health programs). So cated that they would use a primary care to reported at least one negative experi- we’re planning, organizing, networking program designed specifically for their ence with health care. For instance, trans and developing partnerships, and look- healthcare needs, if available. people need to be asked, ‘What is your ing at funding issues. We’re still putting Dr. Bill Valenti told The Empty Clos- preferred pronoun?’ Healthcare provid- the system in place to do the expansion. et, “What we originally talked about as a ers may not necessarily be transphobic or Our partners so far are the Gay Alliance, clinic has morphed into a health program homophobic – they just don’t know. Victory Alliance HIV vaccine trial unit at for LGBT people, including those who are “Trans people may get hormones from URMC, and the medical school’s diver- not HIV positive. That means, for now, unreliable sources, use them intermittent- sity initiative. We’re talking to third party that we will begin to accept HIV negative ly or not at all. So their healthcare suffers payers – health insurance people – about patients. The same services will be avail- people, elders, women, and gay men -- the and they may have mental health issues whole spectrum of the community, from offering these services. We’re also talking able for everyone. due to stigma and marginalization. We to local funders. “There will be differences. We are adolescents to seniors. It’s about overcom- already have some transgender programs “We’re excited about the opportunity. planning new programs for both groups. ing barriers and disparities and helping in place, including hormone therapy, and There are other programs like this – at We know what we offer for HIV patients. people get into care,” Dr. Valenti said. we have behavioral and mental health Fenway in Boston, and Evergreen in Buf- The question is, what else do we need in AIDS Care envisions a primary care programs for gay men and LGBT people falo, which started as an HIV clinic and order to provide the same level of service program for LGBT health that will in general. We want to expand these pro- is now an LGBT health center. There to non-positive people.” expand several existing programs and grams. It’s all about reducing the health- are also health centers in NYC, Philadel- AIDS Care is planning a women’s activities, and develop new services to care disparities LGBT people suffer.” phia, Albuquerque, Cleveland. Some are health program, for instance, as well as overcome the health disparities. In addi- Valenti said that AIDS Care is accept- LGBT-centered specifically, and others healthcare for trans people. Dr. Valen- tion to current primary care services for ing new patients slowly and is not ready provide LGBT healthcare within a larger ti said, “We will need to offer primary HIV-negative gay men and transgender for large numbers yet, but would like to health program. At some point we may care services, such as wellness programs, people, AC is developing a more compre- get the word out about the upcoming move it off-site.” (AIDS Care is located at blood pressure, PAP smears, mammo- hensive Women’s Health program, and developments. 259 Monroe Ave.) grams. In younger women, we’re talking expanding its behavioral health program “We are thinking we’ll be able to For more information, go to about issues related to fertility. We’re tak- and screening efforts for HIV and sexual- accept more patients by the new year, http://everybodysgood.com/roch-lgbt- ing our time so we can offer what people ly transmitted infections (STI), including and will be able to take a large influx by clinic ■ need, including trans people. human papillomavirus infection. “We want to do hormone therapy, “This approach allows us to expand and there are issues that need to be sorted our existing capacity by maximizing our out: insurance issues, affordability of hor- productivity; enroll patients using a more mones, etc. The way the Affordable Care gradual timeline; enhance our efforts to Act is set up now, it improves access to develop systems, procedures and best prac- health insurance for uninsured people. tices for LGBT care; reduce capital costs Our longstanding policy for uninsured by utilizing our current facility and share HIV positive people is to find some type existing wrap-around programs during of insurance – there are quite a few pro- start-up (e.g. nutrition, care management, grams that do that for HIV positive peo- behavioral health, health education),” ple. The plus of the ACA is that it allows AIDS Care says. us to do similar things for who are “Marketing activities will focus on non-HIV positive. our long-standing tradition of providing “Now we can help people get insur- patient-centered, comprehensive, cutting ance so those kinds of costs, like mammo- edge HIV care, and extend our existing grams, are reduced. Several government culturally competent model to the LGBT agencies and others consider LGBT peo- community. ple underserved in access to healthcare, “Our goal is to improve health out- insurance and a variety of things. We comes for LGBT people. The program’s want to overcome health disparities for activities will build on best practices and LGBT people. Even LGBT people who standards of care from established LGBT are employed and have insurance may not health care programs and national initia- access healthcare for many reasons – not tives (e.g., Gay and Lesbian Medical Asso- being out to the provider, etc. We want to ciation, GLMA, LGBT health disparities improve access to primary care for trans identified by the Healthy People 2020,

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MISS GAY ROCHESTER: Olympia LaVay won the 2013 title on Nov. 18 at Harro East. HALLOWEEN DANCE: LORA hosted a Super Gay Hallows Dance on Oct. 27 at Golden Top: she hugs 2012 titleholder F’ya Colby-Valentino. Photos: Jill Frier Ponds. Photos: Jill Frier dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 11

enjoy the Jazz Fest and the Fringe Fest, M y Own Private Rochester: it’s the day to day that really excites me. I love food and I love music. What a per- Mark Siwiec fect city to live in, right? Like everyone, I love Wegmans in Pittsford. There’s always upward trajectory. Howev- something new to enjoy! I always learn so er, the recession was incred- much just walking through the aisles! If ibly difficult. I kept telling we’re going out to eat, there’s always Two myself that, if we remained Vine, Good Luck, Nikko, Next Door, standing, once the econ- Max, Cure – the list goes on!” omy began to improve, Classical music is a big favorite. “As for our sales would explode. music, well, the RPO is at the top of the Indeed, my team and I are list. A concert by a world-class orchestra, concluding our best year for $50, five minutes away – really? Duffy – almost $40,000,000 in and I are fortunate in that many of our residential sales. I recently tenants are Eastman students so we’re able hired an executive coach to enjoy them in concert or recital – in a and we’ve begun working concert hall or at our home.” on strategies to grow our An ideal and typical Saturday night business to $60,000,000 for Mark and Duffy is a house full of within the next three years. friends, either in Rochester or Hammond- Mark Siwiec While my team and I are sport. Mark comments, “I know that, in working to increase our years to come, I’ll look back fondly on sales volume, I’m also look- memories of home-cooked meals around By Susan Jordan ing to grow our portfolio of a fire with lots of wine, great music, and Mark Siwiec is from Buffalo and grew rental properties. Currently, we own 100 a lot of laughter. We’re lucky to have sur- up listening to Jimmy Griffin, then mayor rental units located, mostly, in the Park rounded ourselves with a collection of of the city, publicly using words like Avenue neighborhood.” loyal friends and interesting personali- Mark’s partner is Duffy Palmer, for- “pansy”, “fag”, and “” when referring ties. The nights seem to go on forever and mer teacher and former NYS deputy sec- to gay men. they’re a lot of fun!” retary of education and co-chair of the Mark currently sits on three boards: Mark says, “There were no derogatory Pride Agenda board for six years. “Duffy words used to describe lesbians because, the Empire State Pride Agenda, the RPO, and I have been together for almost 17 and the MCC Foundation Board. Duffy in his mind, I don’t think that lesbians years and have owned our house on is the chair of Young Women’s College were a concept that he could possibly con- Westminster for the past 16 years. A year Prep (a remarkable all-girls charter school) jure. Nobody ever challenged him. When and a half ago, we were lucky enough to and sits on the board of Allandale Colum- I moved to Rochester in 1983, I immedi- build a home overlooking the bluff on bia. “In addition to the boards that we sit ately sensed and ultimately enjoyed the Keuka Lake. It’s a century-old barn that on,” Mark said, “we end up supporting fact that this was a progressive commu- the Mennonites disassembled and moved quite a number of other philanthropics -- nity that would not tolerate the use of to our land. After completing the barn- Glimmerglass Opera, the Rochester Area such words.” raising, they spent six months crafting a Community Foundation, Hillside Work After graduating from the University beautiful home around the hand-hewn Scholarship, etc. We also try to remain of Rochester, Mark took a job with the structural timbers. The result is an incred- engaged politically by hosting fundraisers State Health Department doing STD ible 2,800 square foot residence with 28 for elected officials who are supportive of contact tracing. He says, “After a year, I foot ceilings sited on 28 acres.” our community. Through it all, we try to began scratching my head, trying to fig- Mark’s favorite Rochester events? “Let represent the LGBT community at events ure out what went wrong and, ultimately, me start by saying that I love Roches- and in boardrooms where the community started selling real estate. I’ve been at it ter and most things about it. This city may not otherwise have a presence. And, for 21 years and continue to love what has been incredibly good to me and the through it all, we are fortunate to be a I do. My sales have mostly followed an people are incredibly kind. As much as I part of this thriving community!” ■ 12 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

S andy wrecks NYC youth much storage space. The best way people on South Ave. On Dec. 1, the First Uni- local can reach out to help in this very challeng- versalist Church of Rochester, 150 South and state shelter; community ing time is by making monetary dona- Clinton St., will host the 12th Annual responds generously tions. Please go to our website. World AIDS Day Benefit Concert and ( Finney from page 6) “It is heartbreaking to see this space Panel Discussion. ing into women’s restrooms, presumably Hurricane Sandy was a huge blow to come to such a sad end. For the past seven The concert series was started by to rape them. an already under-funded network of sup- years it has been a place of refuge to thou- Thomas Warfield, an Assistant Professor Nathan told The Empty Closet, “I port for homeless or displaced LGBT sands of kids reeling from being thrown at the Rochester Institute of Technology can tell you our strategy will remain the youth in New York City: the Ali Forney away by their parents for being LGBT. For and founder of PeaceArt International. same – we’ll speak with every legisla- Center on 22nd St. between 10th and 11th many of these kids coming to our drop-in Four years ago directorship of the con- tor who will speak to us. We will con- Avenues was completely flooded, causing center provided their first encounter with a cert was passed to Scotty Ginett, who has tinue to educate about the importance major damage to the Center. When the loving and affirming LGBT community. I helmed it since. and life-saving benefits of this legisla- news went on social media, over $250,000 thank all of you for your care and support Ginett’s involvement with the concert tion. We’re going to remind those in to rebuild was raised by Nov. 18. in a most difficult time.” is on a purely volunteer basis – he works the legislature that this bill reflects the The momentum started right after Read more: http://www.towl- by day in the banking industry – but it is injustice that trans New Yorkers face in the storm, when executive director Carl eroad.com/2012/11/ali-forney-cen- a role he gladly plays in the fight against terms of employment and housing, etc. Siciliano posted: ter-for--youth-destroyed-by-sandy. HIV/AIDS The point of this is to remind legisla- “Yesterday we were finally able to html#ixzz2BN3m3zoQ “Honestly, there was a need and there tors that the bill is about discrimination inspect our drop-in center in Chelsea, Social media outreach brings response still is a need for this concert,” said Ginett. and stigma.” half a block from the Hudson River. Our Popular gay blogger Joe Jervis of “We all know someone who is HIV posi- Nathan pointed out that the Pride worst fears were realized; everything was JoeMyGod.com picked up the message tive or know someone who has been Agenda has always reached out to destroyed and the space is uninhabit- and ran with it. And then Twitter – spe- judged based on some kind of scale – skin Republican legislators (four of whom able. The water level went four feet high, cifically, the people on it -- ran with it. color, sexuality, sexual preference – and as voted for marriage equality in 2011, destroying our phones, computers, refrig- Pam Grier tweeted the news to hun- a gay male being judged for being gay I thus pushing the legislation over the erator, food and supplies. dreds of thousands of followers, Joseph felt that this was my opportunity… to give top). He said, “Regardless of their votes “This is a terrible tragedy for the Gordon-Levitt tweeted it to hundreds of back to a community in which I can help in the past, or their political affiliation, homeless LGBT youth we serve there. thousands more, and in less than 24 hours, raise awareness and remove a stigma based we will continue to work with the leg- This space was dedicated to our most the Ali Forney Center had received more on a disease.” islature to educate. Our responsibility vulnerable kids, the thousands stranded than 900 donations totaling $100,000, The concert series is accompanied by is to work with NYS legislators – every on the streets without shelter, and was a Siciliano said in an interview on Nov. 4. a panel discussion and will feature the one of them.” place where they received food, showers, “We’ve never had a day where $100,000 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus, AIDS Care Another immediate priority for ESPA clothing, medical care, HIV testing and came in online before,” he told the Los Rochester and the Rochester Victory Alli- is budget advocacy. Nathan said, “We’re treatment, and mental health and sub- Angeles Times. “That’s actually kind of ance Staff, and other special guests. being very strategic about our targeted stance abuse services. Basically a lifeline phenomenal. And it shows the power of One of Ginett’s goals for the concert budget advocacy to make sure that all for LGBT kids whose lives are in danger. social media to do good.” series is to bring together the many dif- segments of the population are served, “We are currently scrambling for a By Nov. 18, the amount raised had ferent organizations dedicated to HIV/ including homeless youth. We’re working plan to provide care to these desperate risen to $250,000, with contributions AIDS. This year, those groups include with our partner organizations, includ- kids while we prepare to ultimately move arriving from England, France, Sweden, AIDS Care Rochester and the Victory ing those in the Health and Human Ser- into a larger space that will better meet Canada and Mexico. “This shows the Alliance, as well as such community part- vices Network.” our needs. The NYC LGBT Center has power of social media, when prominent ners as Outlandish, Equal=Grounds, and The Ali Forney Center for homeless very kindly and generously offered to let people link digitally with a healthy net- the First Universalist Church of Roch- youth, located in lower Manhattan, was us temporarily use some of their space, and work of people who connect emotionally,” ester. destroyed by Hurricane Sandy and fun- we hope to determine the viability of that said Ryan Davis, an Ali Forney board “There are so many organizations that draisers have been providing money to on Monday. member who is a pioneer in using social work with HIV awareness but have sepa- relocate this crucial service. “We have been deluged with kind media in politics and activism. rate events,” said Ginett. “I thought, why The Pride Agenda office was also offers from people who wish to volun- Although LGBT youth have historical- don’t we combine and work on them damaged by Hurricane Sandy, and their teer and donate goods. Unfortunately, we ly been marginalized by traditional, main- together.” server was down and the office closed for will have to provide our services in the stream institutions, Siciliano said, now Ginnet has high aspirations for the a week. Nathan said, “We are just thank- time being in much smaller spaces that the community could rally around those future of the concert series and for the ful that our staff were all OK.” won’t accommodate volunteers or allow for needing help the most. And social media fight against HIV/AIDS. “I’d love for helped make it happen, allowing people to Annie Lennox to come and sing at the help each other without waiting for some- concert, in my wildest dreams,” he said. one else to tell them what to do. “but really, (in the next five years) I’d like DONATE: The AFC is continuing to to see a vaccine, less hate, less stigma, and take your donations. If you’d like to kick less judgment.” in a few bucks via PayPal, use this email In addition to the concert, the week- address there: mramos@aliforneycenter. end will also include AIDS Care’s annual org. “Shop and Wrap” event, a candlelight vigil at High Falls, and opportunities for HIV AI DS Awareness testing. Tickets to the 12th Annual World weekend includes AIDS Day Benefit Concert and Panel concert, panel, Discussion are $15 for general admission, candlelight vigil $5 with a student ID, and are available at Outlandish (Village Gate, 274 North By Ted Elton Goodman St.), Equal=Grounds (750 The Rochester AIDS Awareness Week- South Ave.), or at the door. end is scheduled to take place from Friday, For more information on these events, Nov. 30 to Sunday, Dec. 2. The pro- or for opportunities to get involved, please gram aims to raise awareness of the HIV/ visit http://www.facebook.com/doingthe- AIDS epidemic and encourage involve- positivething/ or http://www.acrochester. ment from the community. Events will org/. include memorials, concerts, and speakers. And for those who share Mr. Ginett’s Three panels of the AIDS Quilt will be appreciation of Annie Lennox, he will be on display at Equal=Grounds Coffee Shop performing one of her songs at the concert. dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 13

Community Foundation’s LGBT Giving Circle awards first grants In its inaugural grant-making year, the LGBT Giving Circle of Rochester Area Community Foundation is awarding grants totaling $8,750 to five nonprofit organizations. Giving Circle charter members and grantees attended a celebration November 19 at Rochester Contemporary Art Center, where the grants were formally announced. The LGBT Giving Circle, established in October 2011, is a philanthropic group of like-minded individuals and households interested in making a difference in their community now and in the future. Dur- ing its first year, contributions in the form of memberships were evenly split between grant making for the upcoming year and endowment to meet future needs. As of Aug. 31, the charter members of the group numbered 32 households and more than 50 individuals. Their contribu- tions created the LGBT Fund for Greater Rochester at the Community Foundation. “The Giving Circle is extremely pleased to be able to distribute grants that will enhance the programs of a diverse group of organizations and help make a differ- ence in the quality of life for many in the Rochester region,” says Angela Bonazinga, co-chair of the LGBT Giving Circle. The following grants were approved by LGBT Giving Circle membership: ImageOut ($2,000). Founded in 1993, this annual festival occurring in Octo- ber showcases LGBT arts and cultural experiences through film, creative works, and artists. This grant supports operating expenses for the 2013 season. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus ($1,500) This year the group celebrates 30 years of creating social change through the cho- ral arts by using music to create acceptance of social diversity. This grant provides sup- port for the group’s 30th anniversary con- cert season. ■ 14 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

part of this fight since the beginning.” national and “Today we joyously celebrate with the international Maryland couples and families who will no longer be treated as legal strangers,” Dignity-Integrity’s ( Maine from page 5) said Susan Goering, executive director of Washington, D.C. allowed same-sex cou- the ACLU of Maryland. “We also applaud ples to marry. Three other states recognize Marylanders for affirming fairness and Holiday Gift to the Community… marriages of same-sex couples performed standing up for the right of same-sex cou- ples to be treated equally under the law. The elsewhere, nine states have full domes- ACLU of Maryland is proud of our work tic partnerships or civil unions and three on this issue over many years, and for the more states have more limited domestic opportunity to partner with so many others partnership registries. around the state, and around the country, Our 6th Annual in rectifying an historic injustice.” M aryland voters approve “With this historic election, there can Christmas Hymn Sing marriage equality be no denying that tonight is a watershed moment for gay and lesbian families in Upon news voters in Maryland had America,” said James Esseks, director of the Tim Schramm passed Question Six affirming marriage ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Trans- equality by popular vote, HRC President gender Project. “Not long ago, marriage for on Organ & Piano Chad Griffin made the following state- same-sex couples was unimaginable. In a ment: remarkably short time, we have seen courts “Today the marriage equality map start to rule in favor of the freedom to expands to Maryland, giving thousands marry, then legislatures affirm it, and now more loving couples the opportunity to the people vote for it as well. Today’s elec- Friday, December 28 make lifelong commitments through mar- tion illustrates both the astonishing pace riage. This is a milestone night for the of change on this issue as well as America’s at 7:00pm simple truth that when Americans are pre- commitment to fairness for everyone.” sented with the real lives of their friends Rick Jacobs, founder and chair of the and neighbors, they have no choice but to Courage Campaign, commented on the vote for their equality. It is the momen- sweeping victories for marriage equality in tum reflected in poll after poll that shows Maryland, Maine and Washington: a growing majority for marriage equality “The tide has turned -- when voters Church of St. Luke and St. Simon across the country. have the opportunity to really hear directly “This victory in Maryland has been from loving, committed same-sex couples 17 S. Fitzhugh Street, 14614 hard fought from the legislative fight to a and their families, they voted for fairness massive campaign operation and we are so and the freedom to marry. How fitting Sit back, relax and sing the songs of the season proud to have been leaders alongside our that four years after Prop. 8 awakened the state partners in this effort. nation, and the world, to the injustice of “Governor O’Malley has been a cham- marriage for some but not for all committed pion of this issue and deserves the appre- couples, we have now won at the ballot box. A Reception of Cookies & Punch follows. ciation of all fair-minded Americans. His The Supreme Court can see that America leadership, along with groups like the is continuing its historic march towards This event is free to the community. NAACP, has shown that at the end of the equality and justice for all. Those who day human dignity wins out and that in oppose the freedom to marry for commit- this country we can have no second-class ted couples are clearly on the wrong side of citizens or second-class marriages. history. More and more voters are coming “Marylanders for Marriage Equality to know that gay people are our neighbors, should be proud of their historic win and our co-workers, our fellow parishioners, our it’s been an honor for HRC to have been a ( Maryland continues page 16) dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 15

Open for dinner Tuesday-Sunday at 4pm, closed on Mondays 1550 Route 332, Farmington, NY 14425 • 585-924-8000 Happy Hour: 4-6pm, Tuesday-Friday www.proseccoitalianrestaurant.com 16 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Minnesota. Minnesota is going to be the national and state that’s going to show the country exact- international ly what Minnesota values are all about.”

(M aryland from page 14) family and our friends. It won’t be long at all before all loving committed couples have the freedom to marry.” M innesota rejects anti- marriage amendment As voters in Minnesota voted down the state’s discriminatory anti-marriage amend- ment, HRC President Chad Griffin stated, “Minnesota is a prime example that we are experiencing a sea change in how Ameri- cans view their LGBT neighbors. With 30 Teresa Guajardo and Tina Roose hope states having voted to write discrimination to organize a mass wedding in the into their constitutions, Minnesotans stood Washington State Capitol Rotunda. up and said, ‘not us,’ and more are sure to follow their lead. M arriages start soon “No amount of lies and deception fund- in Maine, Maryland, ed by deep-pocketed donors could convince Minnesotans that loving and committed Washington couples should be excluded from marriage. Marriages will begin very soon in “Our work begins anew in the state Maine, Maryland and Washington state. and with new fair-minded leadership in the AFER has the timeline: legislature we move forward toward a day Maine when all families in Minnesota are pro- Dec. 6 at the earliest. This date may tected equally under the law. Clearly the change. The initiative goes into effect 30 momentum is on our side with support for days after the governor makes a “public marriage equality – both nationally and in proclamation of the result of the vote,” Minnesota – growing by the day. within 10 days after the result has been “Minnesotans United for All Families determined. exemplifies a dedicated and well run cam- Maryland paign with an amazing leader in Richard Jan. 1, 2013. This date was included in Carlbom. Our entire steering committee the original legislation passed by the state’s and board members Les Bendtsen and Tom General Assembly, which was approved by Knabel have been a part of this fight since voters. the beginning were true partners to the Washington campaign.” Dec. 6. All referendums that are “You dug down and fought for love, approved by voters in the Evergreen State with love,” Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak go into effect 30 days after the election. told hundreds of amendment opponents A lesbian couple hopes to organize a mass gathered at the RiverCentre in St. Paul wedding in the state Capitol Rotunda. late on Nov. 6. “You understood compas- The SCOTUS decision on California sion. This wound up being one of the most marriage should be due Nov. 26, although inspirational things that’s ever happened in it may be delayed. ■ dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 17 18 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

H oliday Wish List 1 2 I tems The Empty Closet would love to find under the tree on Christmas morning… Photos by Jeff Mills

1. Glass vase: Glass vase by Peter Secrest, nationally recognized glass blower originally from Roch- ester. He works from his studio overlooking Canandaigua Lake. At the Gallery Store, Memorial Art Gallery of the University of Rochester, 500 University Ave. 585-276- 9012, http://mag.rochester.edu 2. Champagne: Chassenay d’Arce Maison de Vignerons (Confidences) champagne. Something extra special to toast the New Year … welcome 2013 with a flourish! At Corn Hill Fine Wine and Spirits, 260 Exchange Blvd., Rochester. 585-232-5530. 3 3. Earrings: Earrings by Myung Urso, Rochester. Born in Korea, Myung received an MFA in Fiber Arts from Hongik University, Seoul. She has been a fiber artist, editor and reporter for an arts and crafts magazine, curator and gallery/store owner. Myung exhib- its her jewelry designs extensively. At the Gallery Store, Memorial Art Gallery of the University of Rochester, 500 University Ave. 585-276-9012, http://mag.rochester.edu 4. Mermaid groom/bride tree ornaments: The December Diamonds Collections: the perfect ornaments, not just for the holi- days, but for any themed occasion. Unique and fierce! (Planning a winter wedding? Get two grooms or two brides!) At Outlandish, 274 N. Goodman St. (Village Gate); 585- 760-8383; www.outlandish1.com. 4 4 5 5, Chocolates: Fabulous artisan chocolates in a variety of delicious flavors, including the Holiday Truffle Collection, with champagne-pomegranate, ginger molasses, eggnog, fig and orange clove -- and how about a little sack of almond bark as a stocking stuffer? Yum! At Hedonist Artisan Chocolates, 674 South Ave., 585-461-2815; www.hedonistchoco- lates.com. dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 19 20 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 21 Shoulders to Stand On

S houlders of the year Shoulders honors Denise Finnerty well at the University of Rochester. Stu- and Courtney Michie dents and members of the greater Roch- By Evelyn Bailey On February 16, 2012, two of Roch- ester community were established and For these two months, Shoulders To ester’s most energetic and tireless activists, looking at issues that we still confront Stand On honors 10 2012 Rochester Denise Finnerty and Courtney Michie, today. Shoulders for their contributions to our were presented with a Certificate of Appre- Look at these University of Rochester struggle for equality and justice for the ciation by the Rochester Marriage Coali- happenings in 1973 – could be topics for Greater Rochester community inclusive tion. Helping virtually every LGBT rights today. of our LGBT brothers and sisters and our organization that has operated in the SUN. 3 DEC: “THE GENDER allies. Rochester region, they were also the pre- GAP!” A discussion of alienation ques- First: Shoulders To Stand On recog- sented with a handmade “Pride” afghan tions and role limitations for gay women nizes and honors YOU! Your Shoulders by Equality Rochester’s Anne Tischer, and gay men. Todd Union, 7:30pm. carry the Rochester community to greater reflecting the warmth that Denise and SUN 10 DEC: “UNDER-AGE GAYS: awareness, integrity, and pride! Because Courtney have generated in changing so HOW CAN WE HELP THEM?” Legal, of YOU, our LGBT brothers, sisters, many people’s hearts and minds. moral, ethical and logistical problems in and allies, the Closet is not as full! So Shoulders honors Ove Overmeyer doing so. Report on new gay youth group. take a moment to look at yourself and be On March 15, the Rochester & Finger Todd Union Music Lounge, 7:30 pm. PROUD! Lakes Chapter of Pride At Work, AFL- SUN 17 DEC: “HOW CAN THE Shoulders honors ImageOut CIO hosted their second True Colors Rec- CHURCH ADVANCE GAY RIGHTS?” ImageOut is Upstate New York’s lon- ognition Award Dinner. Ove Overmyer, Working with ministers, priests, rabbis gest running lesbian and gay film and Pride At Work member and staff reporter and canons to further gay rights. Todd video festival. 2012 marked the 20th for The Empty Closet, received the 2012 Union Music Lounge, 7:30pm. Anniversary of ImageOut. ImageOut True Colors Award for his outstanding SUN 7 JAN: “LIVING TOGETH- informs, entertains, educates, and enrich- tributions of gay and lesbian leaders in commitment to the advancement of work- the faith movement. ER” Gay communes, housemates, etc. es filmgoers through the exhibition of place democracy. Ove is also President, Living together, not as lovers, but as film and videos by and about lesbian, gay, These Shoulders have given the LGBT CSEA City of Rochester Library Workers community and the Greater Rochester brothers or sisters. bisexual, and transgender people. Ima- Local 828 Unit 7420 and is VP, CSEA SUN 14 JAN: COFFEE HOUSE geOut encourages lesbian and gay film- community a reason to be OUT and Monroe County Local 828. PROUD! Their activism and lives bear NIGHT. Games, checkers, chess, enter- makers, who, as a group, are rarely seen Shoulders honors Reverend Jim tainment, photo and art exhibit, tarot in mainstream media. It is an opportu- witness to the ever-opening doors of our Mulcahy Closets! readings etc. nity to record and preserve the stories After nine years as Senior Pastor at SUN 14 JAN: “GLF ON THE AIR.” and histories of LGBT lives and to foster Shoulders to Stand On congratu- Open Arms Metropolitan Community lates its 2012 Shoulders! Planning for our weekly radio program, collaborations and conversations to break Church, Rev. Jim is “retiring” with a new Music Lounge 7:30pm down social and cultural barriers concern- job. He is the church development spe- SUN 21 JAN: “MALE LIBERA- ing lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender cialist in Scandinavia and Eastern Europe H istory Corner: TION” What does it mean? What does people. for MCC. He will live in Kiev, Ukraine, December 1973/January it demand? Is it like Women’s Liberation? Shoulders honors the NY Finger dedicating himself to helping LGBT peo- 1974 Todd Union Music Lounge 7:30 pm Lakes Out & Equal Regional Affiliate ple in a country where attending a Pride WED 24 JAN: RECREATIONAL In October, 2012 the Regional Affili- Parade can result in physical violence, By Evelyn Bailey OUTING: SKI EVENING Bristol Mt. ate of the Year Award (called the “Outie”) with ultra-religious people and neo-Nazi Forty years ago this month, the Gay SUN 28 JAN: “ANTI-GLF” Can the was given to the NY Finger Lakes Region- skinheads trying to beat them with cross- Alliance was not even born. That would gay liberation movement do more harm al Affiliate for its commitment to the Out es, with police standing aside and saying happen a year later in December, 1973. than good? Music Lounge Todd Union, & Equal mission through exceptional they can’t offer protection. A courageous The Gay Liberation Front was alive and 7:30 pm. ■ programming and sound organizational step for courageous Shoulders! practices. The coalitions and partnerships Shoulders honors Tom Privitere built by the NY Fingerlakes Regional Tom was given the Bill Lucy Award at Affiliate developed the first Out & Equal the 12th Annual Coalition of Black Trade Regional Summit in 2011 here in Roch- Unionists (CBTU) at Rick’s Prime Rib ester. The Affiliate developed a series of House on April 20, 2012. Bill Lucy was “Work It Out” events to prepare college a civil rights and labor union icon. Tom, students for job interviews at the same NYS Public Employees Federation Direc- time showcasing local businesses that are tor of Field Services for WNY and Vice welcoming and confirming. The Affiliate President of the Rochester Finger Lakes is a true leader in the local mission of Out Chapter of Pride at Work, AFL-CIO, was & Equal in the NY Fingerlakes region. acknowledged for his lifetime commit- Shoulders honors Bess Watts and ment to working people. Anne Tischer Shoulders honors Bishop Prince G. Jim Bertolone of the Rochester Labor Singh, Episcopal Bishop of Rochester Council presented Bess Watts and Anne On May 19, 2012, at the 20th ESPA Tischer of MENY-Rochester and Pride at Spring Dinner, Bishop Singh received Work AFL-CIO with the “Mother Jones the 2012 Community Service Award Award for Sacrifice Above and Beyond,” for his outstanding contributions to for their work on marriage equality on equality. He became a vocal spokes- December 8, 2011. On March 15, 2012 person with the Uniting Families Act Bess received the Pride At Work True Col- and actively took on a leadership role in ors Recognition Award. Bess and Anne the marriage equality campaign. Bishop continue to work for equality and jus- Singh has also been a strong voice for tice in the workplace and for the Greater inclusion in his own church, supporting Rochester community. the affirmation and the important con- 22 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

GLAD. So, I wrote back stating, “I am our Spirit of Justice Award; reaching out honored to be this year’s awardee. But to diverse communities through the topics I’ve not been in the struggle alone. The and locations of our community events. interconnectedness between my work and Examples include the November, 2005 Columnists that of GLAD’s is best depicted by the forum looking at the similarities and dif- African proverb that states, ‘I am because ferences between the African-American we are; and since we are, therefore, I am.’ struggle for civil rights and the LGBT My social justice work in churches and in struggle for civil rights; October, 2006 The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers the streets comes to fruition because of community conversation with Mandy are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the GLAD’s activism in the courts on behalf Carter; April, 2008 forum on HIV/AIDS Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. of us all.” and the politics of invisibility; October, My initial encounter with GLAD was 2010 forum on the future of religion and contentious. My opinions, and those of LGBT equality in America (with Rev- G rowing Up among my small circle of friends there LGBTQ communities of color nation- erend Irene Monroe and Bishop Gene is one man who might be suitable, who wide, were expressed weekly in my col- Robinson); October, 2011 community I t Gets Better, kind of might be game for this undertaking. My umn The Religion Thang, for the now conversation with Katherine Patrick. By Eric Bellmann pal Tom, an artist and yoga teacher who defunct Boston-based LGBTQ paper This year, GLAD received the Boston On a recent is more tolerant and mellow than most InNewsweekly. Bar Association Beacon Award for Diver- Thursday I got a human beings. One email and Tom is on In February, 2005 I was reporting sity & Inclusion. phone call from board, what a guy! We agree to meet the that tensions here in Massachusetts were Because of GLAD’s outreach to com- a kid attending a kids the next day, advising them that they growing and, once again, there was a color munities of color, more and more lesbian, local college. His have to get whatever they want within an line. The issue was marriage equality for gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer peo- professor, a friend hour. We, the devoted elderly couple, have same-sex couples. With the state legisla- ple are marrying. Their efforts generated of mine, had given busy lives to lead and miles to travel. ture about to rev up again to debate the discussions among us and in our commu- him my name. We meet in a designated lobby. Mr. issue, and with very little time for white nities in the context of our families and He needs some- Photographer is very young and he seems queer religious and political machines to lives that matters. one to photograph for a project and hopes to be taking measured deep, deep breaths. colorize what had been since its inception So an idea that was once thought of I will agree to be his subject. He explains Have I scared him with my bombast? Off a white movement, voices from African- as an anathema to black queer identity, that he has done some research on the “It to the studio. His partner, also adorable, American queer organizations and com- marriage, in our LGBTQ communities, Gets Better” campaign, which encour- arrives. With a little stack of thumb nail munities of color were speaking up about is being celebrated and on the rise. And ages gay youth to hang tough, ride out sketches of.... what our poses are supposed our absence from the conversation. many of us are now proudly walking the turmoil of adolescent years. He and a to be! I have miscalculated. So entranced To the surprise of white LGBTQ down the aisle to tie the knot. work partner want to make a photo layout am I with my own charms I assumed that organizations, both the African-American proving that things, indeed, do get better. Tom and I would gesticulate and chat and LGBTQ and straight community had C onundrums This seems like a laudatory undertak- be captured in wonderful, candid poses, much to say about the white queer politi- ing and so we email back and forth about evidencing vitality and glamour. Nope. cal machine’s appropriation of the lan- Decision 2012 specifics, location, times, other details. “Put your head on his shoulder. Stand guage of the black civil rights movement. By Ove Overmyer The kid forwards an essay he’s written, closer. Now switch. Put your head against Done without participation by people of With such which he believes will clarify his goals. his cheek.” They consult their notes. I am color. remarkable mar- The essay is about groundbreaking gay aghast. The pictures I am sure will be like How the marriage debate should have riage victories movies, “Brokeback Mountain,” “Milk,” cheesy greeting cards. Tom is more san- been framed had not been given consider- occurring in four etc. and since I’m a movie fanatic, I am guine. He mutters into my ear, pressed able concern. Communicating in a way states and the defeat impressed and intrigued. Which is not to against his cheek, “Being a model is a that spoke truth to various LGBTQ com- of anti-equality say I plan on being easy. lousy job.” How did he know and I did munities of color and classes was not even candidates across Almost immediately I start messing not? Well, not much to do but to coop- considered. the nation, it’s no with him. I love kids, think of them as erate. Youth must be served. Ditto Art. The same-sex marriage debate had stretch to say this my window to another world, a near alien It’s all so deliciously fraudulent, I really brought much consternation and polar- was probably one of the most consequen- culture. I want to know what they know, can’t complain. I just never want to see ization between black and white LGBTQ tial years ever in American political his- what they don’t know, their values and the pictures. communities. Much of the finger point- tory with respect to civil rights. Decision concerns, who their idols are. When I However I haven’t forgotten my ing of the genesis of the ill-framed dis- 2012 was a huge leap forward for equality taught eons ago I used to tell my draw- Garbo/Steichen goal. When the photo cussion was aimed at GLAD. Viewed by and workplace rights and the effect will be ing students they would get an automatic shoot is finished, well ahead of schedule, some as a lily-white organization, many tangible and long lasting. A if they could name two Rita Hayworth the kids agree to do portrait shots of first people of color felt that GLAD replicated It’s also clear our support this year movies. “Who was Rita Hayworth?” Oy Tom, then me. much of the same race and class divisions helped elect the largest number of out vey. I ask if they have seen the amazing present in our federal judicial system. federal lawmakers in our country’s histo- On to the project. I ask if he will shoot Avedon photograph of Karen Van Blixen, While the marriage debate was strate- ry. Also, a record number of women were in black and white. Much more suitable the Danish author who wrote under the gically framed as an upper- to middle-class elected to the U.S. Senate -- 20. for my wrinkled, sun damaged face. Can name Isak Dinesen. Nope. How about LGBTQ family issue, people of color felt Additionally in 2012, it is widely he photograph me the way Steichen pho- Anna Magnani who insisted that every that the “strategy won in court, but not in believed that more self-identified LGBT tographed Garbo? Bless his heart, he says wrinkle be shown? “Do not flatter me. the court of public opinion,” Dorchester union members than ever volunteered on “sure”. Is there car service? The last ques- I have earned this face!” she famously African-American lesbian activist Jacquie political campaigns coordinated by pro- tion draws a blank. Perhaps I’ve gone too growled. I have decided that I too want Bishop told me. gressive candidates and coalitions. far. to look ravaged. I want to look old, worn. In criticizing GLAD for its approach, Throughout our state, LGBT and I digress to mindless chatter. I ask if I want the evidence of a life fully lived. I Boston local African-American lesbian labor activists spoke with their co-work- he knows of the remarkable photographer, want survivor’s glamour. scholar Dr. Marilyn Monteiro wrote to ers, knocked on hundreds of thousands Mary Ellen Mark. Yes. Well, I shared a Two days later the kid emails me my me in an e-mail: “I’ve told GLAD this of doors, and most of all made sure their long subway ride with her in New York portraits. Silently I scream. This is the as well — asking me for money to assist voice was heard at the polls. CSEA del- after Three Kings Day two years ago. face I’ve earned? I resolve to like them. them in ‘their’ struggle; expropriating egates to the annual convention passed She gave me her phone number. Kid is What choice do I have? (and therefore exploiting blacks in par- pro-equality resolutions, with no debate impressed. Email: [email protected] ticular) the civil rights movement rheto- whatsoever. That was unthinkable just However, I am not getting the point of ric; strategies in their interests while still a few short years ago. We proved once why I am suitable for this project. Eventu- F aith Matters excluding us from leadership positions again that when the progressive commu- ally it becomes clear that he has assumed I G Lad’s diversity work other than token appointments. Please! nity comes together to fight for the issues have a partner. Dear Ghost of Paul Lynde, It certainly is this way in Beantown, for that matter to most of New York’s hard- he wants to photograph two old fags who By Rev. Irene sure. GLAD asked me to evaluate their working families, we can accomplish great love one another and have survived over Monroe web pages. I did. Do you think there have things as a movement. the long haul and who will be living proof I was lounging been any changes of the kind I suggested? Progressive candidates were over- that things get better. I have no choice but on the sofa watch- Hell, no!” whelmingly successful this year and as a to turn up the heat. ing a rerun epi- In April of that same year, Lee Swis- result, our working families are the real Via email, I explain all about Gloria sode of The Bernie low, Executive Director of GLAD, came winners. Steinem and various quotes, “A woman Mac Show when to the annual Bayard Rustin Community And it’s also worth mentioning U.S. need a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, the FedEx truck Breakfast. When GLAD reached out to Senator-Elect from Wisconsin, Tammy “I don’t breed in captivity.” I tell the kid, stopped in front of communities of color, inviting a dialogue Baldwin. She shattered a sturdy glass ceil- who confides that he is A, from Maine, the house. The mail for an inclusive re-framing of the marriage ing that’s been in place for more than two and B, gay, that I have no partner to pro- courier handed me a letter that stated the debate, the collective anger and frustra- centuries. At long last, LGBT Americans vide. I am an independent person and following: tion that LGBTQ communities of color will see one of our own take the oath of proud of it. “Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defend- collective felt toward the organization office in the United States Senate. I am In an attempt to be positive I ask if he ers (GLAD), New England’s leading legal began to dissipate. extremely proud to share that news with can hunt up some hunky college pal who advocacy organization and a national And in recognizing the need to look anyone who will listen. can pose with me as my stud muffin, my leader on LGBT legal issues, is thrilled to more deeply at diversity issues, this is Other developments that went our boy toy. He says he’ll think about that. He invite you to be honored with the Spirit GLAD’s list of accomplishments sent to way include the re-election of two former says his project partner, also gay, will look of Justice Award at the Boston Marriott me. In 2005 the GLAD Board asked the Congressmen who should have never left around. A couple of hours later I get an Copley Place on Friday, October 26th.” executive director to develop a diversity office in 2010. That would be Central email with a picture attached of a poten- Needless to say, I was stunned. I plan. There were very concrete actions New York Congressman Dan Maffei and tial fake life partner. I reply that I think called Robbie Samuels, Senior Manager of associated with this plan, including Florida Rep. Alan Grayson. Both are pro- I’d prefer to pose alone. I do not say that Events and Donor Engagement at GLAD, recruiting more people of color to the gressive, fiery lawmakers who completely the picture attached is of someone, prob- expressing the organization made a grave GLAD Board and staff; looking at con- understand the needs of America’s work- ably quite nice, whom I would not even mistake. sultants and vendors that we use and ing class. consider lying next to in Mount Hope When I was finally able to calm down reaching out to people of color and minor- With a broad coalition that spanned Cemetery. from the shock, I realized this event ity-owned businesses; looking at the diver- across America, seven states elected their An hour later it dawns on me that would also be a way for me to thank sity reflected by who we honor through first or only openly LGBT state law- dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 23 makers, even in places where some said posed to be temporary. My sister will need A Few Bricks Short What is Santa’s profession? Toy it couldn’t be done. Now LGBT young to fill virtually hundreds of boxes with her maker. Now I’m sorry, but toy maker people in Arizona, North Dakota, South magnificent outfits for transport to their Ki r s Kringle – Out & ranks right up there with other well- Dakota, West Virginia, New Mexico, new walk-in closet space. The rest will Proud known, stereotypical gay professions like Texas, Florida and Pennsylvania will see travel to an upscale garage sale, the con- florist, airline steward, hair stylist and themselves reflected in government, and signment shop. By David Hull Catholic priest. I can just hear Santa in they’ll dream of brighter futures. My niece confessed to having boxes of Okay, let’s face that workshop now: “I want Barbie’s hair In Colorado and Oregon, openly gay clothes that might be forever too small. facts – Christmas to look fabulous! Make G.I. Joe’s biceps and lesbian state lawmakers are poised Her body has shifted from size Elegant- is a really gay holi- bigger! Batman’s cape needs to swirl to win election as Speakers, which would Executive to post-delivery size Mother- day. I’m sure you’ve more! Can’t you make that Easy-Bake add real power to efforts to expand part- Of-Twin-Boys. She can only hope that heard the Christ- Oven a brighter shade of pink?” nership rights and make their states more twin-chasing will reshape her. mas Carol that tells Who helps Santa make all those toys? welcoming for LGBT families. And I have many portable storage clos- you to “make the It’s a bunch of short, thin guys who A record number of pro-equality can- ets for my out-of-season clothes. A neces- yuletide gay.” Then like to dance and sing and they all live didates have won this year because of sity in my 1834 closet-challenged house. add in all those together in what is basically a big gay supporters like us -- people who refuse to Ironically, my recent boxing frenzy twinkling lights and shiny bows and commune. The place is full of collectable accept an America that treats some of us was both my temporary solution and the sugar plum fairies and, although Christ- fashion dolls and delicately decorated as less than equal because of how we iden- next problem. When my beloveds read my mas may not be as gay as Halloween or sugar cookies and flying reindeer – good tify or who we love. public confession, “I feel boxed-in,” they the Tony Awards, it’s still pretty darn heavens; it’s like a gay man’s dream come Locally speaking, I’m particularly offered support, asked questions to guide gay. true! proud of Democratic lawmakers Rep. me through despair. And I’m just going to come right Oh, and don’t bother bringing up Louise Slaughter (NY25), NYS Senator- They learned that last month I had out and say it: Santa Claus is a queen. that “Mrs. Claus” argument either. My Elect Ted O’Brien and NYS Assembly- cleared every shelf in my house. Initially I Don’t act all shocked, you know you mother has already tried that one! Mrs. member Harry Bronson. We not only felt smothered by the too-many cute and have thought about it. Look at the other Claus is obviously just a big fag hag! have elected officials who fully embrace charming love gifts. I removed the clutter. childhood celebratory icons that are San- She’s fame-hungry and since her only job equality, we have a local delegation that But mostly I was enraged. Hurt. A crisis ta’s peers: Easter Bunny (gay), Valen- skills are cooking baking and hot choco- will champion equal rights for years to had invaded my life. I could not control tine’s Day cupid (gay), St. Patrick’s Day late making, she knew she’d never get come. people, so I controlled things. I boxed up leprechaun (gay), the Tooth Fairy (do I anywhere on her own other than a job at Again, it has been a truly remarkable agonizing reminders. even need to say it?) and Baby New Year Starbucks or Panera. She just latched on year — a year that has yielded positive From Wisewomyn, my compassionate (maybe not gay, but definitely question- to Santa and she’s working it for all it’s results for working people. I’m incredibly cousin, came soothing words about the ing – I mean, he’s wearing a sash and a worth. That whole part of the story is proud to be part of it, and I’m incredibly “…ungluing experience that has rippled top hat, for goodness sake!). really just sad. grateful to all my colleagues and family its ridges out and wiped clear your shelves. It seems to me Santa must be gay, Admit it, only a gay man would trav- for believing in me and supporting this And we never know... did we just make and not just from the company he keeps el around the world in a reindeer drawn work. something better? Or did we just lose our (although don’t even get me started on sleigh. It isn’t like any other animal- It was truly an election cycle for the treasures that have brought, do bring, Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer), but powered forms of transportation that are ages. And it’s still hard to digest every- comfort and solidity and familiarity of because of his whole back story. He lives pulled by mules or oxen or even six white thing that has happened these past few what is good. It is hard to know.” isolated all the way up at the North Pole horses – no, Santa works with eight tiny months. However, one thing is for sure Unable to manage the swirling uncer- obviously because he was tired of being reindeer. Really! And even if you have a -- there is nothing that can stop equal- tainty, I focused on the physical sym- harassed by the town folk for being gay. voice like James Earl Jones, you can’t say ity now. bols surrounding me. Frantically altered And with that bowl-full-of-jelly belly, those reindeer names without sounding a my spaces. Removed paintings. Relo- long, white beard and big boots, he’s little bit gay – Dasher, Dancer, Prancer clearly a daddy bear! Besides that, his C leaning My Closet cated artwork from room to room. Ban- and Vixen. Comet, Cupid, Donner and ished offending furniture to the garage. real name is Kris Kringle, but he likes Blitzen. I think Dancer and Prancer were TALE S FRom THE BOXES Grabbed objects that dredged up unbear- everyone to call him Santa Claus or St. the names of a gay couple who hung out Nicholas or Father Christmas. True, By Meredith able memories. Filled boxes, Anger Boxes. at a bar I used to frequent years ago. Lugged them down the stairs. Not to those names are not exactly as catchy as As far as I’m concerned the Aurora Elizabeth Reiniger ‘Crystal DeCanter’ or ‘Lois Commonde- Sometimes my the recycle bin. Not to the trash. No, I Borealis isn’t caused by solar flares and dragged them into the dark of the base- nominator’, but ‘Santa Claus’ still sounds the Earth’s atmosphere, but by the reflec- columns bring like a drag name to me. gifts to me. There ment. tions from Santa’s giant disco ball when are the accolades Why, my gentle friend asked, did you from my fans… decide to live on top of a crypt? OK, fan… my sis- “Let me ask you,” queried my long- ter. The monthly revered Sage, “you wrapped each item, response from my didn’t you?” His eyes scanned my face. friend of 50 years: “my favorite.” Story “And labeled each box.” A statement. tellers sharing their similar experiences. “Can you let them go?” An invitation. Succinct reactions from my elders, words What, I wondered, was I hanging like “touching” and “I am sad.” onto? Why was I hoarding the past? Seems we are all challenged by boxes. And then my sister sent an email. The standard cardboard cartons, those “Boxes filled with what you can now label smelly brown boxes containing indeci- clutter can pile up in your memory, in siveness. The plastic bins, transparent the closet or be taken to a place outside boxes for holiday clutter and accumulated of your house, that is away physically. Do excess. Boxes with STUFF wrapped care- you need to have the dragging feeling -- fully, given shelter in our closets, attics, dragging you back to what was? basements, garages. “Now might be the time you can Some Stashed STUFF is never build your new self/your present in time unboxed. Last month I was somehow self with new things, things which are reminded that my Leftover STUFF is still not tied to the dead but the living -- you squirreled away in the three-car garage living in the present moment, moments. and full basement of the big house we That will not mean that you have aban- vacated twelve years ago. Apparently it doned what went before. It will mean that slipped my mind. -- maybe you should tell me what it will For two of my aging friends, purging mean….” began only when their daughters did an It will mean change, I told the com- intervention: “Hey mom, time to clear puter screen. out all this OLD STUFF.” Yes, Life Lit- So I made another sweep through my ter amassed since their families moved-in house, loading my car with frayed quilts many years ago… 21 years for one, 37 and unwanted dishes, ugly curtains, an for the other. Another friend had stored old trunk, a plain stool, out-dated clothes. her deceased mother’s stuff for a decade. Too weary to continue, I decided that Some was trashed. Lots went into the I will face the cellared boxes another day. omnipresent neighborhood recycle arena, First I have to think about them for a the Garage Sale. while. Then I can retrieve the treasures. Empty the cupboards, fill a box. My Then I will remove what is toxic. sister is selling her two houses. That is a Yes, change. It will mean that finally I whole lot of STUFF. That is a whole lot have let go of the burdensome remnants of of hours spent selecting which belong- my ancestors, that I have, at last, released ings she will take to create her new home. the debilitating pain of the unwanted cri- And where the Not Chosen will be sent. sis. It is easy for her to assign duplicates to It will mean renewal. Tomorrow two the Keep or Donate boxes. For heirlooms friends will come to my house. Together and memorabilia, she uses her role as we will paint the bedroom a peaceful Most Elder to fill To-Go Boxes for the color. It will signify that finally I have next generation. Never-read cookbooks allowed Meredith to make a home where to the newest chef, family photos to the she can live in the present. archivist, our mother’s china to her baby No poison in the basement. No ghosts sister, me. allowed. Empty the closets, fill a box. Our MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontier- shared dilemma. Clothes boxes are sup- net.net 24 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

(Columnists continued from page 23) in my tea service, the potential for it to be knocked over is always there, and I they have 70s night at the North Pole. haven’t overlooked the potential spills Those elves must love the soundtrack to of this project either. My worries with Saturday Night Fever! the “It Gets Better” project lie within its Of course, if you’ve ever read this interaction with the momentum of the column before, you know that I think LGBT civil rights movement. most everything is gay, ice hockey, comic Sure, the message directly expresses books, bird watching, animated movies, that for LGBT individuals, life does so I could be mistaken about this whole indeed improve once one is beyond the thing. But, if nothing else, you have to realms of middle school and high school, admit, that red suit with the fur trim college or even graduate school. What that Santa wears for the holidays is just the message does not directly express is fabulous! how this gets better, and in what way. You can contact David at david- In a time when many young LGBT hull59@ aol.com persons are disconnected from the work our LGBT foremothers and forefathers What’s Bothering have done for us, I worry that this youth generation may simply expect our cir- Brandon? cumstances to “get better” without any Does it Get Better? real work taking place. What’s worse, I You Tell Me. worry that this expectant sense of enti- tlement may put the LGBT civil rights By Brandon movement on the back-burner, as LGBT Brooks youth may not put forth the effort that The Avenue Pub I must admit, is needed to keep this movement strong. when I saw my first It is a harsh (and possibly premature) “It Gets Better” concern to possess, but spilt tea must be 37 Year Landmark video post on You- wiped up before it stains the doilies. Tube, I was skepti- What I do hope will take place is that in the Gay Community cal. I was skeptical the “It Gets Better” project is taken to because I had seen heart by LGBT youth and adults alike. videos directed at And I mean “taken to heart” in the sense LGBT youth and even LGBT adults in that the message is adopted as a personal the past urging them to “stay strong and responsibility by all LGBT individuals fight on.” to fulfill socially, religiously, legally and Most of these videos, along with civically. their positive and much-needed mes- More and more around me I see sages, ended up lost within the millions LGBT youth who are unaware of the (or maybe billions) of other videos on struggles and accomplishments of those YouTube. But as the number of LGBT- who have fought before us, avoiding directed videos for the “It Gets Better” the responsibilities of our present, and Project grew rapidly (along with its press shirking the legacy we should be bestow- and celebrity endorsements), my skepti- ing upon our future LGBT generations. cism lifted and, dare I say it, even I was I do not wish to say (or imagine) that affected positively. the “It Gets Better” project outfits, The number of teen/youth LGBT- shall we say, the lackadaisical nature of related suicides is terribly high (one is today’s youth at large, but only that this really too much to begin with); we all project may unintentionally cater to this know this. A life-affirming message, generation’s love of inheritance without in an environment that lacks positive future cost. One of our biggest barriers images and messages concerning LGBT to overcome may be our youth’s own persons, is an essential component for prodigality when it comes to our past the LGBT youth demographic to feel achievements, and prospective accom- valued, lovable, “good” and motivated to plishments. live on. A message as simple as “it gets So here’s a year’s end toast to making better” can, and has, saved lives as well that barrier less formidable, and more as raised awareness of LGBT individuals mountable for generations to come. We (and more importantly civil rights) across must seize the opportunity to capital- the globe. ize on our successes, instead of pushing So where’s the spilt tea in that, you them away. After all, nobody likes over- might ask? As with most full cups of tea steeped tea. ■

Serving Rochester’s Serving Rochester’s ga ga

y community The Avenue Pub y community Est. 1975 522 Monroe Avenue Est. 1975 585-244-4960 for over 30 years for over 30 years dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 25

month, from 7-8:30 p.m. in the Memo- Bachelor Forum on Jan. 19 from 9 p.m. rial Art Gallery Cutler Union, 500 Uni- to 2 a.m. versity Ave. The Rochester Rams M.C. is Roches- Community According to the National Cancer ter New York’s foremost gay motorcycle Institute, prostate cancer ranks second as and leather club as well as being one of the cause of cancer-related deaths among the oldest clubs of its type in the country. F ind the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through men in the U.S. and industrialized coun- All who are interested in the leather club the various groups listed here. tries. Peer-driven support systems, howev- scene are invited to check us out. Our er, are non-existent outside clinic settings general meeting is open to the public and in this area. UsTOO International Inc. is we meet the Wednesday before bar night a global not-for-profit organization dedi- at 7:30 p.m. Meetings are held at our cated solely to awareness and support for home bar, the Bachelor Forum, 670 Uni- C omeoutDancin’ movie. We love the low prices at the Cin- men surviving prostate cancer; branch- versity Ave. Our next general meetings ema. Don’t you? ComeoutDancin’ will meet on Sun- es already exist in Buffalo, Batavia, the will be held on Dec. 12, Jan. 16 and Feb. On second Saturdays we get together Southern Tier and NYC. 13. For more info, visit our website: www. day, Dec. 2 for Swing and Salsa. All at the GAGV Community Center at 6:30 dances take place at The Friends Meet- More information is available at 585- rochesterrams.com. for a potluck. You’re welcome to join us 790-9971 and at UsTooRochesterNY@ inghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Char- Dec. 8 and Jan. 12. Some of us will be lotte St. across from the East End Garage), gmail.com; www.sites.google.com/site/ R ochester Trans catching the Big Wig show at Golden ustoorochesterny between 3-5 p.m. Admission is $5. All are Ponds in December from the 6th-9th. It’s Group welcome including family and friends. For always a blast. more info call 585-436-9526. Then the Gay Men’s Chorus has their R ochester Butch On Saturday, Oct. 27, we celebrated Sunday, Dec. 16 is the CELEBRA- concert Friday and Saturday December Femme Connection our one-year anniversary as the Rochester TION DANCE! ComeoutDancin’ will 14th and 15th. Many of our members Trans Group (RTG)! hold its Last Dance, a celebration of our and friends sing in the chorus, and we The Rochester Butch-Femme Con- We had 20 people show up, including love for life and dance. All are welcome always enjoy the concerts and going out nection will have one supper event in members of Rochester PFLAG (Parents, including family and friends. ADMIS- afterwards. December 2012 and two supper events in Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays.) SION IS FREE. This is ComeoutDancin’s The Empire Bears welcome new January 2013. Emily Henninger, Maur Delaney and last dance session. It’s been a great ride. friends to join them Wednesdays for sup- On Saturday, Dec. 15, we will meet Pam Barres did the Trans 101 presenta- per at the Wintonaire, or at a potluck. at Jay’s Diner on West Henrietta Road tion and then, even though we had some Dignity-Integrity Looking to meet some new friends who (Route 15) in Henrietta at 7 p.m. technical glitches, we showed the video like movies, cards, games, camping, and In January 2013: On Saturday, Jan. “Trans Basic,” and then we partied! D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. eating out? Join us. 5, we will meet at Hibachi Sushi Buffet Now for some BIG thank yous: Thank at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 in Southtown Plaza on Jefferson Road in you to Anya for your audio expertise in S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We Henrietta at 7 p.m. getting the sound so we could actually have the following services and activities J Ust US GUYS On Saturday, Jan. 19, we will meet at hear the video! for the months of December 2012 and On Dec. 11 we will gather for our OPA! Greek Restaurant at 7 p.m. in Hen- Thank you to Ally Cowie who has vol- January 2013. annual end of year and Holiday Pot Luck rietta, across from Outback Restaurant on unteered to be on our Steering Group and First Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Heal- Dinner at AIDS Care in the lower level Jefferson Road just east of Rte. 39. a co- co-facilitator for the group! ing Service, with music; second Sunday: break room. NOTE: 1/19/13 limited to the first Thank you to Pam Barres for get- Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, Gathering time is 6 p.m. with dinner 20 persons who RSVP to 585-288-7208, ting things started and being one of the with music; third Sunday: Quiet Episco- at 6:30 p.m. Guests and visitors are wel- seating limited. For further informa- (unscheduled) speakers! pal Mass in the Chapel; fourth Sunday: come to attend this event. tion on the Connection, contact Kerry/ Thank you to Sue Barres for her bak- Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck During this month our members and Max at (585) 288-7208, email Dressy- ing skills for the delicious marble anniver- Supper; fifth Sunday (December 30): NO friends are encouraged to support the [email protected] or check out our Face- sary cake she made for us. SERVICE. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holiday con- book page http://www.facebook.com/ Finally, big thanks to Emily Hen- We love thinking up fun themes for cert on Dec. 14 or 15 at Hochstein. This bfconnection . ninger who has completely revamped our our potluck suppers Here are the themes concert is always a highlight of the holi- website making it more informative, inter- for December and January: In December, day season. R ochester Rams M.C. active, and fresh! Definitely check it out it is “Comfort and Joy!” In January, try to At this time there are no plans for a at: www.rnytg.org for what’s coming up bring “Something New for the New Year”. meeting on Jan. 8. Our members will be The Rochester Rams wish to thank and to be able to stay in touch with each Can you think of some foods that fit in informed by email about the next sched- the community for their overwhelming other. these categories? Bring them along and uled gathering. support of our annual toy drive. Once And now what’s happening for the join us for the evening! No time to cook? Just Us Guys extends our holiday again, you have extended the deepest gen- next two months: Just bring yourself and a friend or two and wishes to all and our best for a healthy, erosity to those in need and we are sure Dec. 29, Saturday from 3–5:30 p.m. join us for food and fun! happy 2013 New Year. For more informa- you have their thanks. We offer you the we will cheer the end of this year (which Mark your calendars for Friday, Dec. tion about the group and the December warmest wishes for the holiday season. has been full of major events for RTG: 28 and plan to join us for the 6th Annual Winter is upon us and it’s time to bun- The April Meeting of the Groups – that Christmas Hymn Sing. It is being held at Pot Luck Dinner, contact Ron at 729- 2259 or email [email protected]. dle up. Join us for Long Johns bar night had such an amazing turnout! Which led 7 p.m. at the Church of St. Luke and St. at the Bachelor Forum on Dec. 15 from to us marching in each other’s cities for Simon. Tim Schramm is presiding over 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. We will be operating a the Pride Parades in Buffalo, Syracuse organ and piano to lead us once again in Prostate Cancer coat and clothes check. Don your work and Rochester for the first time! Heard singing all our favorites. The event is free Support for Men gear and join us for Carhartt night at the some great speakers on topics from inter- and is followed by a cookie and punch reception. A newly forming Prostate Cancer Sup- Call our Hotline or check us out on port Group had an organizational meet- the web for further details! ing on Nov. 13, which was attended by 33 people. The group’s purpose is to bring EMPIRE BEARS awareness to men surviving prostate can- cer that support is available. It is open to Brrrr, it’s cold out there! Cuddle up diverse men of all ages; partners are wel- with a furry bear in a cave and keep warm. come. The Empire Bears do that every The group will begin regular meetings Wednesday evening. Supper with the guys this month. The December meeting will at the Wintonaire at 6 might be followed be held on Dec. 13, and meetings will by line dancing at 140 Alex or maybe a be held on the second Thursday of each 26 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 sex, to Two Spirits, to how to deal with Our Christmas dinner party will be the police and at that meeting even got on Dec. 15 at 5 p.m. The hot tub will be to critique the proposed Rochester Police cranked up for a warm dip after supper. Dept. policies on handling trans people Visit the Romans web site where an with respect, and now the revamped web- application for membership and informa- site (just wow!) with an end of the year tion about the club is available. http://www. holiday party. wnyromans.com or E-mail:wnyromans@ Jan. 26, Saturday from 3–5:30 p.m. yahoo.com, call our message line at 585- we’ll have an open discussion and plan 281-4964 or write ROMANS, PO Box out (at least roughly) what we want to do 92293, Rochester, NY 14692. in 2013. Pass GENDA! So come on, end (or begin) the year T eam Rochester @ by coming to a meeting. You’ll meet some great people, learn a lot, and hey, even Gay Games 2014 have some fun! We meet in the Gay Alli- Team Rochester’s organization meet- ance Community Center, located in the ing this past October at Bamba Bistro Auditorium Theatre, 875 E. Main St., went very well with several people attend- first floor, on the last Saturday of each ing. month between 3-5:30 p.m. So far, our list includes friends who are Parking is available in the back of the interested in golf, wrestling, marathon, theatre off of Prince St and College Ave. half marathon, track, volleyball and bowl- Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just ing. Several other people expressed inter- say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and est in attending as fans and supporters. they have instructions to let you in with- Since there are 35 sports, there is plenty of out paying the parking fee. opportunity for competition, in addition to competition within various age groups R ochester within that sport. Women’s Community Cleveland might be the closest the Gay Games are to Rochester, so let’s join Chorus together to represent our region. Check RWCC will be Singing in the Rays in out the Gay Games website: www.gg9cle. January. Gene Kelly made Singing in the com. Early Registration is $135 until December 31, 2012. For more informa- Rain popular many years ago; now the ■ Rochester Women’s Community Chorus tion, contact: [email protected] will do the same with Singing in the Rays, of sunshine that is! Whether or not the January weather ROC The Day cooperates, the 45 singers in the RWCC 12.12.12 will bring light to its audience on what will likely be a cold, dark night. The Choose. Give. Matter. concert, which features a repertoire of ROC The Day and sunlight-related pieces, is entitled, “Here Comes the Sun”. It will be held at 7:30 you’ll have a chance p.m. on Jan. 19 at St. Anne Church, 1600 to win an additional Mt. Hope Ave. Please note that this con- $500 for the charity cert date is a change from our usual pre- holiday performance. of your choice. The RWCC will also be bringing some (800) 242-0238 sunshine to the community during these long winter months. This post-holiday season concert, the chorus will be accept- ing donations of non-perishable foods to be collected for local food cupboards. Based on particular needs this time of year, canned vegetables are suggested. So, join the RWCC for an evening of warmth and light and… pass the veggies, please! ROMANS ROchester MAle NaturistS (ROMANS) is a social organization of gay naturists who enjoy camaraderie in the nude. We are gay, bi, and gay-friendly men over the age of twenty one. We are all sizes, big and small. We are single, part- nered, married, and divorced. We are short and tall, wide and thin, quiet and outgoing. We are young and not so young, furry and smooth. ROMANS is an inclu- sive social group for all men who are gay- friendly, who love to laugh and learn, and who enjoy nude social activities. dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 27

Hope Ave. Please note that this concert date is a change from their usual pre- holiday performance. The chorus will Arts & Entertainment be accepting donations of non-perishable foods to be collected for local food cup- boards.

RGMC sings in Dec., MOCHA Center to RWCC in January host Masquerade Extravaganza Dec. 29 The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will perform their holiday concert, “Joy- The MOCHA Center, Inc. presents a ful and Triumphant,” on Dec. 14 and 15, Pre-New Year’s Masquerade Extravagan- at 8 p.m. at Hochstein Performance Hall, za on Saturday, Dec. 29, from 8 p.m. – 2 50 N. Plymouth St. The RGMC is cel- a.m., at VIBE Lounge, 302 N. Goodman ebrating their 30th anniversary in 2013 St. (Village Gate). and hopes to have their second CD ready The fundraiser to support programs for sale this month. More information at and services at the MOCHA Center www.thergmc.org. will feature DJ Reign. Admission is $30 The Rochester Women’s Community advance (online & MOCHA Offices in Chorus will bring light to its audience Buffalo & Rochester) and $40 at the with “Singin’ in the Rays” on what will door. likely be a cold, dark night. The concert, Ticket Information is available at which features a repertoire of sunlight- www.mochacenter.org; MOCHA Roch- related pieces, is entitled, “Here Comes ester – Sheila Fowler (585) 420-1400 the Sun”. It will be held at 7:30 p.m. on x32; MOCHA Buffalo – Dorothy Wedge Jan. 19 at St. Anne Church, 1600 Mt. (716) 852-1142 x13. ■ E qual Grounds hosts AIDS Memorial Quilt panels through Dec. 7 Equal Grounds Coffee Shop presents the sixth annual Rochester AIDS Memorial Quilt in honor of World AIDS Day, Dec. 1. This is the only oppor- tunity to see the AIDS Memorial Quilt in the Rochester area through December 2013. The four quilt panels will be at the shop from Friday, Nov. 30 through Friday, Dec. 7.

S ave the Date! February 9 G ay Alliance 2012 Red Ball Community Valentines John Waters Dance The Ruby Masqueerade I mageOut brings A John Waters Saturday February 9, 2013, 7-11 pm Christmas to Hochstein on Dec. 16 Raffles & Prizes Wine & Beer Lounge motion picture hit Hairspray, Waters has Celebrating Community, Have a Very John Waters Christmas Love, Friendship & -- a holiday treat that will make you put his stamp on American cinema with a body of work that celebrates a pervert- the Gay Alliance’s appreciate the insanity of the Yuletide 40th Anniversary season. ed aesthetic that embraces and exalts the Cathedral Ballroom You’ll never think about Christmas transgressive and offensive – and deliv- Auditorium Theater the same way again after seeing film- ers it in an x-rated, smart, tart and life- 875 E. Main Street maker John Waters’ cheerfully depraved affirming way. Give your sweetheart a stock-stuffer! Tickets: $10/Advance; $15/door one-man show, “A John Waters Christ- But don’t be misled – Waters is a seri- Buy your tickets now. www.gayalliance.org www.gayalliance.org mas,” set for 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 16, ous artist with a solid resume of cult and at the Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 mainstream film classics in addition to Plymouth Ave. being a best-selling author and actor. He The outlaw hero of underground cin- has helmed the likes of Johnny Depp, ema happens to love Christmas – in fact Melanie Griffiths, Rikki Lake, Kathleen he’s obsessed with it and that is what the Turner, and the irrepressible Divine in show is about. Waters says, “Some people such classics as Polyester, Female Trouble, hate (Christmas) or don’t believe in it. I Serial Mom, Cecil B. Demented, Cryba- know some people find it a very stress- by and Pink Flamingos. Waters also has ful time. I have advice for everybody inspired a generation of Hollywood film- (whether) you love or hate it – it’s a self- makers and appeared in films by Jona- help show.” than Demme and Woody Allen. Waters discusses what he wants for Tickets for the show are $35 and Christmas, what you should want, how available online at ImageOut.org. Prior to handle every holiday disaster, Christ- to the performance, Waters also will mas crime, and Christmas movies. He appear at a VIP reception from 5 to 6:30 will take you into a world that might p.m. at The Ellwanger Estate, 625 Mt. induce squeamishness if he weren’t your Hope Ave. Tickets for the VIP reception trusty guide. said, are $50 for ImageOut members. “Delving into his passion for lunatic Additional sponsors include Outland- exploitation Christmas movies and the ish Videos and Gifts located at 274 unhealthy urge to remake all his own North Goodman St. (Village Gate). films into seasonal children’s classics, Reach them at (585) 760-8383. The ‘The Pope of Trash’ will give you a Joy- event is presented by ImageOut: The eux Noel like no other.” Rochester LGBT Film and Video Fes- Widely known as the writer and tival. Please note that “A John Waters director of the PG-13 Broadway and Christmas” contains adult content. 28 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 29 30 Gay alliancethe empty closet new• the gay aslliance fo ofr the gdec-Jenesee valleyAN • number 2013 463 • dec-jan 2013

S peaking Engagements November 2012 11/3...... Creating LGBT Culturally Competent Environment at National Institute of Domestic Violence Awareness & Prevention 11/5...... LGBT Aging Issues in Social Work at GRC MSW Program Youth 11/5...... Sex and Chocolate Health Fair at University of Rochester G ay Alliance 11/ 6...... LGBT History at SUNY Brockport 11/ 6...... Protest and Public Policy at SUNY Brockport Youth Program 11/ 6...... LGBT Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport The Gay Alliance Youth program 11/7...... Party Fair at MCC empowers today’s teens to meet 11/7...... LGBT Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport today’s challenges! It provides a safe 11/7...... LGBT Customer Service at Rochester Plaza Hotel space to: Explore their identity, make 11/ 8...... LGBT Issues in Social Work at GRC MSW Program friends, build community, gain life skills, 11/ 9-10...... SpeakOUT Training at Gay Alliance become a leader and have fun! 11/11...... LGBT Issues at Brockport Unitarian/Universalist Fellowship 11/13...... Safe and Inclusive Schools at Wheatland Chili High School Wed./Thursdays: 3:30-7:30pm 11/13...... LGBT Aging Issues at Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly Fridays: 7-9pm 11/14...... Cycle of Violence at Rose and Joseph Denaro Interfaith Center Coming Out/Being Out 11/15...... Transgender History and Campus Inclusion at SUNY Geneseo V olunteer of the Month: Support Group 11/16...... SafeZone Training at Nazareth College Bruce Woolley Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm 11/20...... Safe and Inclusive Schools at Gay Alliance for SUNY Brockport Students A native of New York City, Bruce (13-18 yrs old) 11/29...... Building Your GSA at Webster Thomas High School Woolley came to Rochester 45 years ago Gender Identity to earn a Ph.D. in history at the U of R. Support Group Where we’ve been Returning to the University from two Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm since January 2011 years in the U.S. Army (drafted, not his (13-18 yrs old) idea of a good time), he was a member of These are the places where the Gay Alliance has been from January 2011 the Gay Liberation Front as a River Cam- Remix Young Adult through December 2012, and this is how we have impacted YOUR life: pus graduate student. Support Group 211-Lifeline • Aging & Adult Services/Catholic Family Center • AIDS Clinic at U of Retired in 2009 after a career in col- Fridays 5-6pm R • Alfred University • Alternatives for Battered Women • Anthony Jordan Health lege administration, Bruce volunteered to help out at the Gay Alliance Library (18-20 yrs old) Center • Asbury 1st UMC Youth Group • Asbury 1st United Methodist Church • Bloomfield High School • BOCES 2 • Brockport Library • Brockport Unitarian/ when he discovered it crowded into a very Gay Alliance Universalist Fellowship • Bullying Prevention Conference • Catholic Family small room in the 5th floor office suite Community Center and was also asked to join Shoulders To Center • Center for Teen Empowerment • Center For Youth • Children’s Mental Auditorium Theater Bldg, 1st Floor Stand On, the Gay Alliance’s heritage Health Coalition Conference • Christina A. Agola, Attorneys and Counselors at 875 E. Main Street, Rochester committee. A passionate lifelong reader Law • Churchville/Chili School Dist • City of Rochester Bureau of Recreation • Phone: 585-244-8640 who sought out gay books when they were Consumer Credit Counseling • Corning, INC • Cortland Prevention Resources • far fewer and often hard to find, he views Crime Victim’s Conference • DePaul University • Dignity/Integrity • Docu-source the Gay Alliance Library with its more Check out our weekly programs than 6,000 volumes as an important com- descriptions and special events: • Downtown United Presbyterian Church • East Rochester Elementary School • munity resource and is always pleased to www.gayalliance.org/events/youth Easter Seals • Eastman School of Music • Edison HS Project Search • Education help library patrons to discover authors Conference at SUNY Brockport • Empire State College • Excellus BCBS • and works that are new to them. Finger Lakes Community College • First Unitarian Church • First Universalist As a trained historian, Bruce cares Church • Franklin High School • Genesee Valley School Board Institute for Staff about preserving our past and gladly Development• Geriatric Medicine Grand Rounds at MCH • Greater Rochester descends to “the dungeon” to work on Area Partnership for the Elderly • Greater Rochester Collaborative MSW Program projects in the Gay Alliance Archives. • Halpern Education Center • Harley School • Hillside • Hillside AIY Program • Because so much of our gay and lesbian past was spoken among cognoscenti in Hillside/Young Mothers Program • Hilton High School • Hobart & William Smith hushed tones and rarely written down, it Colleges • Holley High School • Huther-Doyle • IBERO/PRYD • Indian River is a challenge that Bruce is enthusiastic Central School District • Irondequoit Library • Irondequoit United Church of about to rediscover and document our Christ • Jewish Community Center • Leadership Genesee Program • LifeSpan past. Whether researching in the Roches- Reunion Eldersource • Mayo Clinic • MCC Bullying Conference • MCC-Damon City ter City Archives or muckraking through G ay Alliance Campus • Memorial Art Gallery • Metro Council for Teen Potential • Monroe myriad rolls of WE Magazine on micro- Community College • Monroe Community Hospital • Monroe County JSEC film, Bruce is committed to uncovering Youth Program our local history. As he says, “Communi- Program • Monroe County Pretrial Services • Monroe County Public Defenders ties with a known past count”. Reunion! Office • Nat. Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence • National Institute of Gerry Szymanski, Gay Alliance Librar- The Gay Alliance celebrates 40 Domestic Violence Awareness & Prevention • Nazareth College • National Center ian, adds that “Bruce is an invaluable part years in 2013 ! It’s the perfect for Victims of Crime • North East Regional Prides Convention • North Street of the Library & Archives team. He’s done excuse for a reunion! Recreation Center • National Technical Institute for the Deaf • NY Civil Liberties an amazing job of organizing our run of Union • NYS Advancing Youth Development • Out and Equal Conference • the Empty Closet and is entirely deserving F riday, January 4, 2013 Pittsford Mendon High School • Pride and Joy Families Conference • Rape ■ of this honor!” 7-9pm Crisis Service • Rochester Institute of Technology • Rochester City Rec Centers Did you attend Gay Alliance Youth • Rochester City School District • Rochester Kink Society • Rochester Outpatient H oliday Wine Tasting Group or other youth programing Clinic for the VA • Rochester Plaza Hotel • Rochester Rehabilitation • Rochester To benefit Gay Alliance Youth, as a teen? You’re invited to our Trans Group • Safe School Summit at Gay Alliance • Safer Monroe Area Re-Entry hosted by Wine Sense, 749 Park January Friends and Family Night Team training • School Without Walls • SOAR Youth Group (Monroe County Avenue. Thursday, Dec. 13, 2012, for a Reunion Party! Come on Youth Bureau) • St. John Fisher College • St. Joseph’s Villa • SUNY Brockport 6-8pm. Suggested donation $5 down! Catch up with friends • SUNY Brockport Health Symposium • SUNY Geneseo • SUNY Morrisville • Join us to sample wines for all of you haven’t seen in a while. Susan B Anthony Institute • Threshold Youth Conference • U of R Psychiatric your holiday needs: Dinners, Parties, Meet today’s teen participants Residents • United Nations Association of Rochester • United Ways African Gifts. Each $5 donation enters you and reminisce on the “good old American Leadership Development Program • University of Rochester • VA to win a fabulous Wine Sense New days.” Hospital and Outpatient Services • U of R Warner School • Webster Thomas Years Gift Basket. Sponsored by High School • Wegmans School of Pharmacy • Wheatland Chili High School • the new PFLAG/Gay Alliance Tickets $10 and available online at: Wilson Commencement Park • Winton Library • YMCA Regional Conference • Youth / Parents Booster Club! www.gayalliance.org and the YWCA

T he Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower Empowering pride LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. for forty years. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Web: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: [email protected] Board Co-Presidents: Emily Jones, Bruce Gorman Education and Outreach Director: Scott Fearing Business Manager: Joanne Giuffrida Director of Intergenerational Programs: Kelly Clark Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: [email protected] Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030 dec-jan 2013Gay • number 4alliance63 • gay alliance of t henew genesees valley fo • ther e mptydec-J closet AN 2013 31

City of Rochester as Recreation Leader in 1987, at the Edgerton Community Center. He retired in 2011 from the City as Coordinator of Athletics and Aquatics. John also served the commu- nity through Recreation and was SAGE PAGE known for his role with summer employment for Recreation and day, except major holidays. Open Athletics programs. He worked Arms MCC is our first community for the Red Cross as a CPR and partner to co-host once a month. First Aid instructor and as trea- Open Arms will co-host Dec. 11, surer of the Tony Jordan Youth with a lunch and an “open mic Sports Foundation. John was also amateur hour” performance where a founder of the Men’s Cooking attendees will be encouraged to Group. step up, share a story, joke or His family asks that donations be musical presentation with prizes given to the following in his honor: awarded. We hope and look for- American Red Cross, Greater ward to you joining us to provide a Rochester Chapter, 50 Prince St., fun environment for all by becom- Rochester 14607-1016, and The ing a community partner. Don’t Tony Jordan Youth Sports Foun- delay; contact us to reserve your dation, PO Box 13702, Rochester spot today – 244-8640. NY 14613. The Raging Grannies brought their songs of peace and justice to the Rainbow SAGE at the Center on Oct. 30. Photo: Susan Jordan Happy Holidays! ‘Tis the season…as the EC and Let’s Do Lunch, Again! Rainbow SAGE at The the Gay Alliance take a break this Lunch will once again be the Center New Winter Hours month to enjoy all the season anchor of Rainbow SAGE at The We recognize that during the has to offer, we encourage you to Center programming. After a few winter months many of us choose check out the Gay Alliance web months of looking for a new food to hibernate in the comfort of our page (http://www.gagv.us/events/ vendor, we have found a wonder- own homes. So beginning this sage-events.htm) to fill yourself in ful and reliable source -- Roches- month we are consolidating Mon- on the activities taking place in the ter’s own FoodLink! Beginning day programs into Tuesday and Center for January! We wish you Tuesday, Dec. 4, older adults can offering one super day of program- all safe and happy holidays and we receive a hot lunch for a suggested ming. look forward to seeing you all in donation of just $3. From December to April, join the upcoming weeks! “When Rainbow SAGE at The us on Tuesdays from 11:30 a.m. Recipe Round-up Center hours first started in May, T he Gay Alliance -3 p.m. for the programs you Are you adventurous and cre- we offered soup for lunch at a Library & Archives enjoy most plus a hot lunch! Rain- ative in the kitchen? Do you love nominal cost but suspended it after has internet access available bow SAGE at The Center is open to prepare and sample new reci- our food vendor moved out of our during library hours: Tuesday to LGBT individuals and allies pes? Prepare your recipe at home 1-3pm and Wednesday: 6-8pm. service area,” says Intergeneration- who are over fifty. Remember, and bring enough to share samples The computers are part of our al Programs Director Kelly Clark. you don’t have to be a member of with everyone at the center on David Bohnett Cyber Center. “We are excited to contract with Rainbow SAGE to come to Center Jan. 8. Please bring your recipes Freshwise at FoodLink to provide programming! in written form to share (we can a full lunch that includes a hot make copies if needed). We’re hop- entrée, a vegetable, and fruit most Calling all Community ing to tickle some taste buds and importantly at the same cost to our Partners have a lip-smacking good time! guests,” adds Clark. Rainbow SAGE at the Center is Lunch is served at noon on looking for community partners to Obituary: John D. Kerr, Tuesdays. Guests are asked to co-host our weekly program. We 9/12/55-11/10/12 RSVP and invited to stay for after- would like to invite organizations John D. Kerr was born in noon programming at The Center, to partner with us once monthly Wisht Lis Auburn, the son of John H. Kerr which ranges from movie show- or periodically throughout the year This holiday season make our and Julie Guter Kerr. He received a ings and games days, to educa- providing an activity, information dreams come true. Now you can be BA from SUNY Geneseo in 1977 tional presentations and field trips. on your organization, or just pro- a big gay Santa just by sitting down and worked there for the Athletic at your computer. For more information, please call viding company for our seniors. Our center is open every Tues- Department. He then joined the The Gay Alliance has written its Ashley at 244-8640 x31. wish list. Simply go to Amazon.com and next to your “Shopping Cart” you will find See “Wish List.” From the pull down menu, select Rainbow SAGE at The Center December/January Calendar “Find a Wish List, “ then search for The Center is open for adults 50+ Tuesdays 11:30am-3pm. Hot lunch served at noon! Suggested donation $3. the “Gay Alliance.” Internet access, Billiards. Library open 1-3pm. On our wish list you will see requests from our Youth and Senior December 4...... 1pm...... Movie: “Strangers in Good Company” Programs, from our Library and our December 11...... 12 noon...... Open Arms MCC Open Mic Amateur Hour Education and Outreach Programs. December 18...... 12:30pm...... Holiday Celebration A few clicks and your gift will be in Dec 25 & Jan 1...... CLOSED for the Holidays Santa’s sleigh. January 8...... 1pm...... Recipe Round-up Gifts from Amazon will be non- January 15...... 1pm...... Make your own rice sock cash donations and you will receive recognition for tax purposes. How- January 22...... 11am-3pm...... Open Arms MCC mask making and decorations for the ever, in-kind gifts do not qualify as Ruby Masqueerade coming up in February membership. January 29...... 11am-3pm...... December and January Birthday Bash Bonanza Questions? Write to us at Info@ gayalliance.org *Activities are subject to change. Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E, Main Street, 1st floor (585) 244-8640 HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL from the Gay Alliance staff and board! 32 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Action Front Center Genesee Valley Gender Variants (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. prevention education and case management [email protected] services. Training and technical assistance to Resources service providers. Resource library open to Transgender online: Transenough.com; www.endtransdiscrimina- public. All services free and confidential. Multi- Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section tion.org; genderfork.com; www.transgender- cultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., care.com; International Foundation for Gender for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information. Education Gender Education and Advocacy 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous http://www.gender.org/; FTM Information Net- HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, work http://www.ftminfo.net/; Transgender at Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYS- Work http://www.tgender.net; PFLAG Trans- AIDS Care DOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist gender Network http://community.pflag.org/ BISE XUality AIDS Care is the leading provider of HIV/AIDS Church, 175 Genesee St. services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. page.aspx?pid=380; TransActive http://www. resources On-site services include HIV testing and limited Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, transactiveonline.org; The Transitional Male AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisex- STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Prevention and Primary Care. http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/; National uality (Journal of ); Bay Area Bisexual Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. AIDS Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Center for Transgender Equality http://transe- Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; Care satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. AIDS Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Test- quality.org/; New York Association for Gender BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Care is also a leader in providing services and ing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid test- Rights Advocacy http://www.nyagra.com/; Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s education to members of the LGBT community. ing and services, Educational Presentations, Transgender Aging Network http://forge-for- Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Contact Information: Website: www.acRoches- and access to other Jordan Services. Preven- ward.org/aging/; Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health ter.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Roches- tion and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no http://transgenderlawcenter.org; Transgender Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York ter, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, appointment necessary. Office Hours are Mon- Legal Defense and Education Fund http://trans- Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; day thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more genderlegal.org/; The Self Made Men http:// Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585- information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) theselfmademen.webs.com/ (please send us Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource 275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For your favorite sites/groups) more information, call the Program Manager Center (email [email protected]) Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY Guys Night Out 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872. Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, CULTURAL 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607- CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguys- 776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a [email protected] Rochester Women’s Community Chorus Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454- day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar). 5556. address: [email protected]. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Women’s health www.thergmc.org Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Fair Housing Enforcement Project Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center Referrals to physicians and service agencies. of Monroe County 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585- (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with 487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diag- housing discrimination on basis of race, orien- deaf services Victory Alliance nostic breast imaging and treatment and Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims University of Rochester Medical Center. One of tation, HIV status, etc. mammography outreach and education. Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, several research sites worldwide that comprise Public Interest Law Office of Rochester Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASAD- the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. [email protected]; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ conducts research vaccine studies sponsored to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilin- bccr.org; email: [email protected]. Breast Cancer FAX : 585-232-2854. by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-756- gual advocates available. All civil cases except Coalition provides support services that include Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf 2329; www.vaccineunit.org. divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to programs designed to help those coping with a someone in PILOR. 454-4060. (LRAD) Threshold recent breast cancer diagnosis and those cop- Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo ing with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, information: [email protected] third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confiden- Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance tial HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, and counseling. (716) 847-0328 ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, RIT/NTID student group.

Rainbow SAGE FRIY DA First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sun- L.O.R.A. – Foodies Group days, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 2nd Friday Potluck Social. 2nd Friday of the S. Clinton Ave., 4pm. Ongoing Calendar Month. 6:30–9:30pm. FREE – Bring a dish to pass! Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Men’s Cooking Group Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. Mny o da Henrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the [email protected]; Website: www.l-o-r-a. Civil Rights Front group is to provide a safe space to discuss com Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South L.O.R.A. – Late Bloomers Group identity issues, share personal experiences and Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com For women who are just coming out! 4th Mon- increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated Gay Men's AA meeting day of the Month. 6:30pm – 9:30pm. FREE. by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Contact please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmon- Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: roe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group [email protected]; Website: www.l-o-r-a. Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. com Gay Alliance Board of Directors R ochester Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, [email protected]; 467- Born That Way 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 6456; [email protected]. Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. AA/NA New Freedom New Happiness GAGV Remix Young Adult Support Group First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Ages 18-20. 5-6pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Prince St. entrance, 244-8640, kellyc@ gayal- Meetings Lilac Squares liance.org Support Group for Parents who have lost Every week there are four regularly Gay Square Dance Group, Mondays, 7pm, Children L.O.R.A. Potluck & Games Night 140 Alex Bar. To reserve space: 467-6456; First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Fourth Fridays. GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. scheduled GLBTI AA and two NA [email protected]. Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Gene- Main St., 1st floor 6-9:30pm, 585-313-3037; meetings in Rochester. Free syphilis testing see Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 E-mail: [email protected]. http://www.face- book.com/L.O.R.A.14464; www.l-o-r-a.com AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 442- COAP 2220. Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. ’s Drum Circle Fourth Fridays. 6-9:30pm, GAGV Youth Center; T suesday Rochester Historical Bowling Society 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Narcotics Anonymous 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 7pm, [email protected]. E-mail: [email protected]; Website: www.womynsdrumcircle.org. 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) Rochester Rams General Meeting Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This HIV Positive Men’s Support group 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care Center for Pos- 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com SATURY DA have a desire to stop using. Although it is not itive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is wel- Brothers Keeper Rochester Rams Bar Night coming to people of all sexual orientations and Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Support group for men over 30. Third Wednes- Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, gender identities, as well as to anyone who is Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House park- days, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Lib- 670 University Ave. 271-6930 affected by HIV and AIDS. ing lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. erty Pole Way. 420-1400 Rochester Trans Group Steps Beyond Stems HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Social/educational group for gender-variant We dnesdays Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. New Freedom/New Happiness Group 289 Monroe Ave. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Gay Alliance Youth Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to Wednesdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of Bohnett Cyber Center rochesterfrontrunners.org. Every Monday. 1-3pm; 6-8pm. First floor, Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Empire Bears Potluck Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East 2nd Saturdays, Youth Center, 875 E. Main, 1st and Winton, then walk five minutes south Equality Rochester Frontrunners/Frontwalkers (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm din- 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds. ner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alco- 426-0862; [email protected] www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. holism/addiction and recovery – are fair game. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Cross Dresser Support Group Bohnett Cyber Center First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: Fisr day T uesday Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 251-2132; [email protected] L.O.R.A. – Knitters Group 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Guys Night Out Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Everyone Welcome! 3rd Tuesday of the Month. Empire Bears Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys. 7pm – 10pm. FREE. Equal Grounds Coffee 1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguys- • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Win- addicts House, 750 South Ave. Contact Person: Cath- tonaire. www.empirebears.com [email protected]. ie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a. • Men’s meeting com; Website: www.l-o-r-a.com Saturday Night Special Gay AA • Handicapped accessible 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you Just Us Guys Ts hur day Men and women. Open meeting. are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly Gay men of all ages. 2nd Tuesdays, 6:30pm, Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Concerns 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. [email protected] warm and inviting because everyone gets their 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meet- Charlie’s Group Sophia’s Supper Club ing often runs long, so plan on more than the 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritu- usual hour. group for married men who have sex with men. First and third Thursdays, 7pm, al.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/ Confidential, free. For time, place: email: char- Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. S aturdays [email protected]. Pride at Work Rainbow SAGE First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. Syunda Saturday Night Special Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. L.O.R.A. GLBT Sunday Brunch 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does 875 E. Main St., 1st floor. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Everyone Welcome! 1st & 3rd Sundays of the Month. 11:30am – 2pm. $11.95 per person. not go by the church on weekend evenings. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Lomb). Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 confer- Golden Ponds Restaurant – 500 Long Pond Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, Rd. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; and Winton, then walk five minutes south 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 ence room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Email: [email protected]; Website: www.l- (uphill) on Winton. MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic o-r-a.com • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight- Gay Alliance Youth Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tues- Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians friendly” days, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420- Thursdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Cen- • Mixed men and women ter, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first and Gays (PFLAG) 1400 3rd Sundays, 1-3pm. Open Arms MCC, 740 Mar- • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to floor. 244-8640 x 13. basement Women’s Community Chorus shall Rd. 244-8640 x 27; [email protected]. Coming Out Being Out Youth Support Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Down- Gay Alliance Library & Archives open discussion. town United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Group Sunday hours ended. Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org 6:30-7:30pm; ages 13-18 Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, Rochester General Assembly Sn u days Free HIV Testing first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, Step in the Right Direction 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 285 Clarissa St. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alli- Downtown United Presbyterian Church, Unity Fellowship Church ance Church) This is an NA meeting that is 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, open to all addicts who have a desire to stop We dnesday 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. using. Although it is not specifically a gay-ori- L.O.R.A. – Poker, Cards & Gaymes! Free confidential walk-in HIV testing ented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all Everyone Welcome! 3rd Wednesdays of the Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, Dignity-Integrity sexual orientations and gender identities. Each Month. 6:30pm – 9:30pm. FREE. Open Arms 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; week features a reading from NA literature, fol- MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Contact Person: Cath- 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the lowed by discussion. Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal ie: 585.313.3037; Email: [email protected]; Thursdays, 6:30-7pm, Ages 13-18, Gay Alli- Rochester Gay Men Website: www.l-o-r-a.com Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to ance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor start the week, followed by potluck supper. 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, U.R. Pride Network (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13. 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Open Arms Metropolitan Community 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the Coun- [email protected] Church Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478 ty Office Building and walk south one block. Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outand- • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical equal.org Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous addicts Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave. St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, • Men’s meeting Genesee Valley Gender Variants 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly. • NOT handicapped accessible Identity Group 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV Closed meeting Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by [email protected] The Identity Group is for LGBT identified indi- open discussion. viduals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 Brighton- 34 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 Dec-Jan 2013 Classifieds SATURY DA 1 Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another World AIDS Day/AIDS Awareness Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The concert. First Universalist Church of St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by Rochester, 150 South Clinton St., hosts FRI1 DAY 2 check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th 12th Annual World AIDS Day Benefit Winter solstice. of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the Concert and Panel Discussion. Tickets SUNY DA 23 phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name $15 general admission, $5 with student ID, Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm available Outlandish (Village Gate, 274 placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury North Goodman St.), Equal=Grounds followed by a Potluck Supper; theme: “Comfort and Joy.” 5 pm at St. Luke’s and that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their (750 South Ave.), or door. Information: St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number. http://www.facebook.com/doingtheposi- tivething/ or http://www.acrochester.org/. FRI8 DAY 2 Dignity Integrity Hymn Sing. With ANNOUNCEMENTS marriages (it’s about time!). Nancy BB SUNY DA 2 Meyer minister, God is Love-Animals are ComeoutDancin’. Swing and Salsa. Tim Schramm. 7 pm at the Church of St. Children’s Ministry thriving at Luke and St. Simon. Angels ministry. 585-733-6213. Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. Open Arms Metropolitan Community (entrance on Charlotte St. across from SATURY DA 29 Church for ages 5 to 12. Join us for HELP WAnteD East End Garage), 3-5 pm. $5. 585-436- Rochester Trans Group meeting, vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Senior Director or Organization- 9526. 3-5:30 pm., Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Sundays at 10:30 a.m., 740 Marshall Road al Advancement. AIDS Care seeks a Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Main St., first floor. off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc. senior director who is well-connected and Healing Service, with music. 5 pm at MOCHA Center Pre-New Year’s org; (585)271-8478 actively engaged in the community with St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Masquerade Extravaganza. 8 pm–2 am, SERVICES extensive experience in non-profit devel- Fitzhugh St. VIBE Lounge, 302 N. Goodman St. Wedding space and clergy servic- opment/fundraising, marketing, public (Village Gate). DJ Reign. Admission $30 es available. Open Arms Metropolitan and media relations, market research and THURSDAY 6 advance (online, MOCHA Offices in strategic planning. Bachelor’s Degree in “Changing Hands: Art Without Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. Buffalo & Rochester); $40 at door. www. off Chili Ave. [email protected]. Non-Profit Administration, Marketing, Reservation.” Benefit for Friends of mochacenter.org; MOCHA Rochester, Development, Management, or a related Ganondagan, 6-9 pm, Memorial Art Gal- (585) 271-8478. Sheila Fowler (585) 420-1400 x32; Buf- Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rub- field required. Master’s Degree preferred. lery, 500 University Ave. $40 general, falo, Dorothy Wedge (716) 852-1142 x13. Apply Online at www.acRochester.org/ $100 Patron, information at 276-8945. down. Merry Christmas and Happy New MONDAY 31 Year! Start off by RELAXING with a gift careers SATURY DA 8 New Year’s Gala. 6:30 pm-1 am. Stay- session for a friend, partner or yourself! Day Health Care Manager - Tem- Empire Bears potluck, Gay Alliance bridge Suites, 1000 Genesee St. Tickets Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, porary. AIDS Care seeks a temporary Community Center, 875 E. Main St., first $45 advance only; available at Outland- friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle Day Health Care Manager to assist the floor, at 6:30 pm. ish, Equal Grounds, Staybridge Suites. aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmok- Associate Director of Day Health in the SUNY DA 9 Hosted by LORA. 585-313-3037; info@l- er, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus development of care management servic- Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic o-r-a.com. years experience guarantees your relax- es; coordinate participant care within the Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm at JANUARY ation and satisfaction. Hotel visit, in call Day Health program and with external St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. in my home or out call in your residence. providers. This is a 12 week assignment, Fitzhugh St. FRIDAY 4 Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated ideally becoming a long term intermit- TUESY DA 11 Gay Alliance Youth Group Reunion. and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today tent coverage position. LMSW highly 7-9 pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. preferred or an RN Case Manager or M. Just Us Guys. Holiday Pot Luck Din- at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 Main St., first floor. $10; available at (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@ Divinity and licensed by NYS, with expe- ner at AIDS Care in lower level break www.gayalliance.org. rience in HIV, Substance Abuse and/or room. 6 pm; dinner at 6:30 pm. Info: Ron rochester.rr.com. SATURY DA 12 World renowned weddings. 42 years Mental Health. Apply Online at www. at 729-2259 or email rmatter1@rochester. ■ rr.com. Empire Bears potluck, Gay Alliance performing same sex commitments, now acRochester.org/careers Community Center, 875 E. Main St., first W EDNesDAY 12 floor, 6:30 pm. Rochester Rams general meeting. Bachelor Forum, 7:30 pm. TUESDAY 15 Gay Alliance Annual Meeting. 6 Empty Closet deadline for February pm, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., issue. 244-9030; [email protected]. fourth floor. Rochester Rams general meeting, THURSDAY 13 Bachelor Forum, 7:30 pm. Out & Equal Second Thursdays SATURDAY 19 Networking event. 5:30-7:30, Strathal- Rochester Women’s Chorus concert, len. “Singing in the Rays.” 7:30 pm at St. Wine Tasting to benefit Gay Alli- Anne Church, 1600 Mt. Hope Ave. ance Youth, 6-8 pm, Wine Sense, 749 Rochester Rams “Carhartt” Bar Park Ave. $5 suggested donation. Hosted Night, 9 pm-2 am, Bachelor Forum, 670 by PFLAG, Gay Alliance Youth Booster University Ave. Club. SATURY DA 26 Prostate Cancer Support Group. Rochester Trans Group meeting, Memorial Art Gallery Cutler Union, 500 Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St. East Ave. Second Thursdays, 7:30-8:30 3-5:30 pm. ■ pm. 585-790-9971. FRIY DA 14 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holi- Do Good day concert, “Joyful & Triumphant,” 8 pm, Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 N. Plymouth. Tickets available Parkleigh, Work Outlandish, Equal Grounds; www. thergmc.org. SATURY DA 15 Make Good Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holi- day concert, “Joyful & Triumphant,” 8 pm, Hochstein, 50 N. Plymouth. Tickets available Parkleigh, Outlandish, Equal Money Grounds; www.thergmc.org. Rochester Rams Long Johns Night. The Gay Alliance is Bachelor Forum, 9 pm-2 am. seeking a reliable, SUNY DA 16 energetic self-starter ImageOut hosts A John Waters to sell Empty Closet Christmas, Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 Plymouth Ave., 7:30 pm. Tickets $35, advertising for a available at ImageOut.org. VIP reception, generous commission. 5 to 6:30 pm at The Ellwanger Estate, 625 For more information, Mt. Hope Ave. Tickets for reception $50 phone Susan Jordan for ImageOut members. ComeoutDancin’. Celebration Dance at 244-9030 or e-mail: and final ComeoutDancin’ event. Friends [email protected] Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Charlotte St. across from East End Garage), 3-5 pm. $5. 585-436-9526. dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 35

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Bed & Breakfast Rochester, New York 14605 © 2012, All rights reserved. Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homo- phobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain infor- mation about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out sup- posed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, includ- ing the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas. Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in per- son to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. ([email protected]) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (Decem- ber and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approxi- mately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further informa- tion, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emp- [email protected]. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gay- related news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help pro- mote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consid- eration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessar- ily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney. Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other con- tributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the edi- tor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: [email protected]. The online edi- tion of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month. Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester 14624 from 1 to 3pm. Join us! Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: [email protected] 36 the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013