Why Tough Love Might Finally Be the Answer
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FEBRUARY 2019 | VOLUME 8 | ISSUE 2 IN MEMORY OF STEVEN WHY TOUGH LOVE MIGHT FINALLY BE THE ANSWER By Reed Alexander KNOWING IF, WHEN, AND HOW TO LET GO OF AN ADULT CHILD WITH AN ACTIVE USE DISORDER By Beverly Buncher, MA, PCC, CTPC ON GRIEF AND GRIEVING: A LESSON IN LIBERATION ADDICTED AND PREGNANT By Kayce Stevens Hughlett, MA, LMHC By John Giordano, Doctor of Humane Letters, MAC, CAP What Does Recovery Mean For You? “Being There for My Kids.” The stigma of addiction can prevent women from seeking the treatment that they and their unborn child so desperately need. Retreat’s on-site OBGYN works with women to remove the shame and guilt of substance abuse, replacing it with a solid foundation, compassionate care, and an understanding of their unique needs. Find us on Social: Premier Addiction Treatment Centers ® www.RetreatAddictionCenters.com | 855.859.8810 2 www.thesoberworld.com A LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Readers, I welcome you to The Sober World magazine. The Sober World is an (under the age of 18 yrs. old) and bring them to the facility you have informative award winning national magazine that’s designed to help chosen. There are long term Residential Programs (sometimes a year and parents and families who have loved ones struggling with addiction. longer) as well as short term programs (30-90 days), there are Therapeutic We are a FREE printed publication, as well as an online e-magazine Boarding Schools, Wilderness programs, Extended Living and there are reaching people globally in their search for information about Drug and Sober Living Housing where they can work, go to meetings and be Alcohol Abuse. accountable for staying clean. We directly mail our printed magazine each month to whoever has been Many times a Criminal Attorney will try to work out a deal with the court to arrested for drugs or alcohol as well as distributing to schools, colleges, allow your child or loved one to seek treatment as an alternative to jail. drug court, coffee houses, meeting halls, doctor offices and more .We I know how overwhelming this period can be for you and I urge every directly mail to treatment centers, parent groups and different initiatives parent or relative of an addict to get some help for yourself. There are throughout the country and have a presence at conferences nationally. many groups that can help you. There is Al-Anon, Alateen (for teenagers), Our monthly magazine is available for free on our website at Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon and more. This is a disease that affects www.thesoberworld.com. the whole family, not just the parents. If you would like to receive an E-version monthly of the magazine, please Addiction knows no race or religion; it affects the wealthy as well as the send your e-mail address to [email protected] poor, the highly educated, old, young-IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. Drug addiction has reached epidemic proportions throughout the country This magazine is dedicated to my son Steven who graduated with top and is steadily increasing. It is being described as “the biggest man- honors from University of Central Florida. He graduated with a degree in made epidemic” in the United States. More people are dying from drug Psychology, and was going for his Masters in Applied Behavioral Therapy. overdoses than from any other cause of injury death, including traffic He was a highly intelligent, sensitive young man who helped many people accidents, falls or guns. get their lives on the right course. He could have accomplished whatever he set his mind out to do. Unfortunately, after graduating from college he Many Petty thefts are drug related, as the addicts need for drugs causes tried a drug that was offered to him not realizing how addictive it was and them to take desperate measures in order to have the ability to buy their the power it would have over him. drugs. The availability of prescription narcotics is overwhelming; as parents our hands are tied. My son was 7 months clean when he relapsed and died of a drug overdose. I hope this magazine helps you find the right treatment for your Purdue Pharma, the company that manufactures Oxycontin generated loved one. They have a disease and like all diseases, you try to find the $3.1 BILLION in revenue in 2010? Scary isn’t it? best care suited for their needs. They need help. Addiction is a disease but there is a terrible stigma attached to it. As family Deaths from prescription drug overdose have been called the “silent members affected by this disease, we are often too ashamed to speak to epidemic” for years. There is approximately one American dying every 17 anyone about our loved ones addiction, feeling that we will be judged. We minutes from an accidental prescription drug overdose. Please don’t allow try to pass it off as a passing phase in their lives, and some people hide your loved one to become a statistic. I hope you have found this magazine their head in the sand until it becomes very apparent such as through an helpful. You may also visit us on the web at www.thesoberworld.com. arrest, getting thrown out of school or even worse an overdose, that we The Sober World wishes all our readers a Happy Valentines Day. realize the true extent of their addiction. We are on Face Book at www.facebook.com/pages/The- If you are experiencing any of the above, this may be your opportunity to Sober- World/445857548800036 or www.facebook.com/steven. save your child or loved one’s life. They are more apt to listen to you now soberworld, Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesoberworld, and LinkedIn at than they were before, when whatever you said may have fallen on deaf www.linkedin.com/grp/home?gid=6694001 ears. This is the point where you know your loved one needs help, but you don’t know where to begin. Sincerely, I have compiled this informative magazine to try to take that fear and anxiety away from you and let you know there are many options to PublisherPatricia choose from. [email protected] There are Psychologists and Psychiatrists that specialize in treating people with addictions. There are Education Consultants that will work with you to figure out what your loved ones needs are and come up with the best plan for them. There are Interventionists who will hold an intervention and try to For Advertising opportunities in our magazine, convince your loved one that they need help. There are detox centers that on our website or to submit articles, provide medical supervision to help them through the withdrawal process, please contact Patricia There are Transport Services that will scoop up your resistant loved one at 561-910-1943 or [email protected]. To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943 3 ON GRIEF AND GRIEVING: A LESSON IN LIBERATION By Kayce Stevens Hughlett, MA, LMHC Grief. It’s a big topic and one most of us prefer to avoid, but grief is sneaky and you never know when or how it’s going to show up to offer a life lesson. One thing I’ve learned about trying to hide unwelcome emotions is that they do show up and not usually when or how we want them to. So, it’s not a bad idea to consider them in advance. In this regard, let’s take a peek into my experience around grief. In the early 2000’s, I enrolled in a small training session with a focus on sharing story and public speaking. On the first morning, our facilitator pulled a card from her pile of topics and read it aloud: Grief. A single face flashed through my mind. While I don’t recall the precise details of my impromptu talk, the opening line and the look on the faces around me was memorable. I took my place at the front of the room, inhaled, exhaled, and asked: How do you grieve for someone who hasn’t died? I grew up in Oklahoma City, the third child of a conservative middle- class family. When my beloved father died in a trucking accident the day after my nineteenth birthday, I drove the ninety miles home from college in the darkness of that Thursday night, attended his over us dissipates and as the negative feelings flow out, space for funeral over the weekend, and was back in class the following something more nurturing opens up. week. My family didn’t do grief. In my case, the space that opened up made room for gratitude. Consequently, I was ill-equipped when my eldest child embarked As I grieved the loss of my dreams—the family I was raised in, on the road of addiction and inducted me into a world where the family I was raising, and how neither looked like what I’d heartbreak was the norm rather than exception. He would show me expected—I discovered more power and strength within myself. I how unprepared I was to deal with disruption and the chaos that moved from victim to victor. I found a voice that had been silenced comes with loving an addict. There was no pasting a smile on this for decades. I became grateful for this new awareness. I grieved scenario and calling it good, even though I tried. for my silent childhood and the death of my father. I grieved for my son and his losses too. I became grateful for the lessons I was When someone physically dies in our culture, the platitudes flow learning—power, strength, authentic voice, compassion.