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Celebrating 25 years of the 03 With It Alive & Kicking Alive Introduction by John Fendley by Introduction Getting AwayGetting mop of hair and an absolutely magnificent cream Henri Lloyd reflectivemop of hair and an absolutely magnificent a shout of “Oi Supergrass!” goes upjacket. ’m out of my depth. Suddenly The canteen fall about. “Supergrass?from one of the football producers. gurning compliantly, as if to agreeSupergrass?” I seeth inwardly whilst a mental note.“ Hair needs thinning”. that “This is great banter”. I make Not sure where that jacket is. The Premier League and are still here. They’ve been going steady for 25 years . I’m still out of my depth, still doing the job that I love and still amazed I haven’t been found out yet. It’s only a matter of time. for me until ‘89. For arguments sake let’s go with 82’. 8PM and I’m For arguments sake let’s go with 82’. for me until ‘89. half of door so I can listen to the second closing the kitchen couldn’t watch. foray into Europe. Back then you ’s latest for some reason you only got the Listening was the only option; and was brilliant, I loved football on second half. Don’t get me wrong, it the goals might be on Sportsnight. the radio, still do. If I’m lucky, being - that football on TV back If not I’ll use my imagination. Point in the greyties was in short shrift. is only a small contributing factor inthe fact his dad has got Sky Sports back then “the dish” was a gameour friendship. He’s a good lad. But people do you know who’ve got anchanger. It wasn’t the norm. How many but change the car to a Skyelectric car? Thought not. Same question in most homes not many hands wouldSports subscription – guarantee that back then I would probably havehave gone up. If I’d had a set top box to the football. Liverpool 3-3added that information to my CV. Back catch on.United. This Monday Night Football could work experience. Sporting a thickSomehow I’ve been accepted on a week’s 21 years later and nature has taken care of that for me. I’m still here. 21 years later and nature has taken Scarborough; nineteen eighty something. The ‘80’s kind of rolled into one eighty something. The ‘80’s kind Scarborough; nineteen round at my mate’s. For the record,Scarborough 1994. Monday Night and I’m standing in the Sky Sports Canteen. 1996. Two years later and I am Words by Michael Richardson

Cheerleaders, pop groups on the pitch and names on the back of shirts were the most immediate visible changes following the Little Premier League takeover. The first two were soon ditched and it’s difficult to imagine players without their names on their backs now.

Not everybody noticed these changes at the time because, due to the technology required, only 14 people in the UK could By watch matches on Sky for the first 18 months.

The first few seasons of the Premier League saw the arrival of foreign players we’d only seen at major tournaments. Fair enough 25 years later, after months and months of ’s Stefan Beinlich at Villa, Little online speculation, another iconic French Liverpool’s Hungarian Istvan Kozma and

footballer’s arrival at was Forest’s Icelandic international Thorvaldur 05 revealed via a series of tweets, Instagram Orlygsson were not ones to set the pulse 04 years ago something happened which videos and viral adverts featuring a Grime racing but they were the pioneers that changed the face of English football. MC, hashtags, emoji’s and lots and lots of would start to change the make-up of the 25 dabbing. A scenario and sentence that, Premier League forever. They were three of French genius swapped during Eric’s time 25 years earlier, would just 37 foreign players across the 22 have made absolutely no sense at all. Over clubs, a number which would change United, the reigning champions of the those 25 years, the game of football in dramatically across the next 25 seasons. In this country and beyond has changed 1992/93, the idea that a Premier League Football League for bitter rivals irrevocably. club would one day line-up without a single English player would’ve seemed ludicrous. United. I found-out about this momentous Also happening 25 years ago, just before transfer over the course of a long Autumn Eric made his trans-Pennine switch, was With all due respect to the 37 it wasn’t something which drove that change and would long before genuine superstars started to day. A mate said he’d heard something was have an even more profound effect on the arrive. Jurgen Klinnsman joined Tottenham! game and alter the face of English football signed for Chelsea! Arsenal happening from another mate. None of forever. The FA Premier League arrived bought Denis Bergkamp! Juninho and hand-in- hand with Sky TVs satellite Ravenelli joined ! my other mates had heard anything, the coverage and set-about bringing us ‘A whole Middlesbrough!! The opportunity to watch radio revealed nothing, the boards outside new ball game’. That is what Sky promised such exotic superstars in action meant that all those years ago and looking back from before long viewers were acquiring the newsagents didn’t mention it and the calls where the game is now it’s impossible to technology and Sky’s viewers and influence I made to Man United’s official Clubcall argue that that is exactly what we’ve got. began to grow. ’s €100 million arrival at Old 22 clubs lined-up for the inaugural season number gave no information. I had to wait six Trafford last year accompanied by four of the Premier League. The giants of the hours until Granada Reports was broadcast at haircuts, golden boots and his own dance game were there and have largely remained craze might’ve wound-up the sneering there ever since (although the now 6.30pm to find out that it was true. 40-somethings in expensive anoraks but it mega-wadded Manchester City dipped as low didn’t actually surprise anybody. The past as League 1 in the 90’s). Perennial yo-yo was yours, the future’s theirs. clubs like Palace, Middlesbrough, Norwich

Alive & Kicking and QPR were there, alongside Oldham 606, no club forums or contemporary After all, Paul Pogba didn’t return to (relegated the following year never to magazines (you may not think these Manchester because he missed Deansgate return), Wimbledon (no longer exist as developments are positive but their Locks or chip barms (although the chip they once did), , both Sheffield influence on football is unarguable. Just barms probably played their part tbf). clubs and the perennially mis-managed go and buy a new anorak if that upsets Forest, Leeds and Blackburn. No club has you). And to be honest, the football The latest rights agreement between fallen further than Coventry, Premier fanzine hasn’t been completely killed-off. broadcasters and the Premier League begins League members for the first nine seasons You’re reading this aren’t you? this season and this staggering £8 billion but now about to kick-off their campaign TV deal will ensure that all 20 Premier in League 2. The impact of Social Media on football has League clubs are among the 30 wealthiest in been seismically scene-shifting. Europe. Hundreds of matches will be shown, A few clubs have made a fleeting visit and has absolutely changed football in terms of most of them arranged around the schedules then never been seen since; step forward consumption, promotion and interaction; of the broadcasters but he who pays the Barnsley, Blackpool, and Swindon. Want to express your disgust at your piper and all that and the rancorous debate The idea of any of these clubs returning that used to accompany such meddling with strikers missed chance? Tweet him. Getting any time soon seems remote but then we’re the scheduling is nowadays reduced to a impatient for a new signing? Tweet your talking about a league that currently quiet grumble as most of us want to be able club and demand they ‘Announce!’ him. Hate includes Bournemouth, Burnley, Huddersfield to watch the matches. an opposition player? Take to Twitter to and and had City as it’s wish death upon him or a family member. champions 12 months ago so who knows? As a symbol of how much has changed since the first season, the sight of new signing The Premier League has given us moments turning-out in midfield for a that we will never forget; Beckham scoring pre-Abramovich Chelsea is pretty telling. from halfway, Rooney scoring from mid-air, Bournemouth have just signed a player from Shearer scoring from everywhere and a beach “ Chelsea for £20 million. You could read ball scoring against Liverpool. All of that on Twitter and it wouldn’t hit you as these regularly featuring on those montages After all, Paul Pogba anything that remarkable. In 1992 it that Sky like to show us. It’s also given wouldn’t have been remarkable it would’ve us images that Sky don’t use in montages didn’t return to literally been incomprehensible, irrational quite so much but remain seared onto our and impossible. As incomprehensible, brains; Cantona twatting that Palace fan, Manchester because he irrational and impossible as a club Di Canio twatting the ref, changing its shirt from blue to red, or a 07

06 twatting corner-flags and Newcastle missed Deansgate Locks club paying a player over a million pounds team-mates and a month or a player having a glass tank twatting each other. or chip barms under his kitchen floor with a shark in it.

Personal favourites remain a pissed-up So much change has occurred within English Delia Smith rousing the Norwich crowd, football over the 25 years of the Premier managing Hull for a season ” and England keeper David James playing Of course there’s a reason more and more League that it’s impossible to predict what centre forward for Manchester City. There people are engaging with football players may happen over the next 25. When it comes are hundreds more, you’ll have your own, and clubs via social media and it’s a to writing a piece marking the 50 th season that’s the joy of it innit? of the Premier League, the writer will reason that the Premier League and Sky can could be discussing extending the use of be ‘blamed’ for and that reason is that It is of course impossible to talk about the androids as outfield players rather than everybody is a football fan nowadays. last 25 years without talking about the just goalkeepers, the merits of FIFA Pre-1990’s football was still a niche, dank Internet. You’re probably only reading this President ’s plan to allow and male enclave and whilst many of us get magazine because you read about its existence hover-boards to be used during extra-time on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. misty-eyed about those days of crumbling in cup matches, the proliferation of 12 The web has had the single biggest effect on stadiums, abhorrent treatment of fans and year-old X-Box players being bought for the world since the invention of the spinning lack of exposure, the Premier League has £100 million, the predictability of China jenny so it’s no surprise that it has changed made the game far more accessible, a lot winning the upcoming World Cup for the 3 rd #thankyousiralex the world of football too. safer and comfortable and opened it up to a time in a row and how next year will far wider group of people. definitely, definitely, finally be The Internet has undoubtedly played its Liverpool’s year. part in the virtual death of the printed Much of this change has been enabled by the football fanzine but access to the internet vast sums that TV broadcasters have poured I’ll give over the last word here to former has allowed the influence of fanzine- into the Premier League. The member clubs international and Premier League culture to permeate and influence pocket huge amounts for their involvement and now TV pundit who mused in contemporary coverage of the game. Without in the Promised Land and many of these have the 1992; “The Premier League. What’s that the football fanzines of the past, there’d gone into improving facilities and content all about? It’ll last 5 minutes”. Always on be no Fantasy Football, no Soccer AM, no for spectators in both stadiums and on TV. the ball Andy. Always on the ball.

Alive & Kicking 08 Shirts Everybody Alive &Kicking League outfits. favourite five Premier Shirt and here, hechooseshis Football to Guide last year’s wrote cat The cool-kit about football shirts. but the samething facts, obscure sportsshoe When he’s not recalling writing onthe rear). (spoiled bythe gothic use ofBlueon Blue- lightning chevronsand I lovetheshadow coolly upthechestand was placedsteangelybut things up,theNikelogo newcomers, theyshook over Arsenal.Likemost stranglehold adidashad broke the8year time kitwise,whenthey really enteredthebig 83) butthecompany first sponsoredsidein weretheir shirt arena,(actually behold intheFootball long beenasiteto now, butNikehavenot It’s seemsoddtothink ‘Nice Nike’ 1994-95 ARSENAL, AWAY NEAL HEARD A Lover’s Lover’s A

does

s Fu incident. wore itintheinfamousKung spirit oftheshirtwhilsthe Cantona totallygotintothe team lookeddeadhard,and with Golden Yellowdetailsthe it’s abeauty.Finished a blackshirt,andforme, team tospotthepotentialof Man Utdtobecome thefirst boundary-pushing Umbroallowed benefit was,Savvyandever referee towearblack.One the ruleallowingonly League, wastheabandonmentof singing dancingPremier ushered inwiththenewall One ofthepoorestdecisions ‘The CantonaBlack’ 1993-95 UNITED, AWAY MANCHESTER

09 11

CHELSEA, AWAY CHELSEA, AWAY 2015-16 ‘The Quiet One’ to most, lost inThis shirt has slipped under the radar from all and sundrythe chaos of multi-shirt offerings work of pure class. Thebrands and teams. For me this is a of red andadidas white away is finished with a tri-color and feel. I evenblue on the sleeves for a fresh look think it’s an instance when the sponsor fits a shirt, and Yokhama Tyres looks bang tidy! Alive & Kicking Alive

colourway, finished off nicely with colourway, finished classy gold details. apparently there was a mistake as the apparently there was black and white, and pic came across in was incorrect, but the interpretation accident, great for me, it’s a happy Stadium being the home of Arsenal, it’s Stadium being the went back to the said the designers to match the original team photograph jersey, but original Redcurrant who think it was wrong to move away it was wrong to who think The shirt Arsenal Red. from Traditional by Nike to was actually produced of Highbury celebrate theCCentenary ‘The Redcurrant’ opinion is a bit of an This shirt Gooners, especially amongst divider, ARSENAL, HOME ARSENAL, 2005-2006 10 12 A Lover’s Guide to Football Shirts Football to Guide Lover’s A it’s aclassact. was amasterstroke,andfinished withbuttondownfrontplacket, unusual, buttheauthentic use oftheoriginalGranddadstylecollar shirt before theyjoinedEastEnd tocreateUTD.Thecoloursare their earlydayswhenNewcastle WestEndworeasimilarstyled I justlovethisshirt, ranoutinashirtwhichwasnodto ‘The GrandadCollar’ 1995-96 NEWCASTLEUNITED, AWAY

by Neal Heard isout now Alive &Kicking

off their f#£!ing perch. And you Liverpool right can printthat. was knocking My greatest challenge Sir ” “

v

“ When I score, 10 I don’t celebrate because it’s my job. When a

14 Biggest songs of 1992 Biggest films of 1992

1 I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston 1. Aladdin 2 Rhythm Is a Dancer - Snap! 2. The Bodyguard postman delivers 3 Would I Lie to You? - Charles & Eddie 3. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York 4 Stay - Shakespears Sister 4. Basic Instinct 5 Please Don’t Go/Game Boy - KWS 5. Lethal Weapon 3 6 End of the Road - Boyz II Men 6. Batman Returns letters, does he 7 Abba-esque (EP) - Erasure 7. A Few Good Men 8 Ain’t No Doubt - Jimmy Nail 8. Sister Act 9 Heal the World - Michael Jackson 9. Bram Stoker’s Dracula 10 Goodnight Girl - Wet Wet Wet 10. Wayne’s World celebrate? Biggest albums of 1992 Names that sum up 1992

1 Stars - Simply Red 1. Boutros Boutros-Ghali 2 Back to Front - Lionel Richie 2. Mike Tyson 3 Greatest Hits: 1965–1992 - Cher 3. Rodney King 4 Glittering Prize 81/92 - Simple Minds 4. John Gotti 5 Dangerous - Michael Jackson 5. Bill Clinton 6 Diva - Annie Lennox 6. ” 7 Timeless: The Classics - Michael Bolton 7. 8 Divine Madness - Madness 8. Nick Hornby 9 We Can’t Dance - Genesis 9. Mark Fowler 10 Up - Right Said Fred 10. Reg Houldsworth

Alive & Kicking 25

GAME Liam Fray, Middleton Songsmith “My first game. ‘92. United beat QPR 2-1. Hughes 25 & Cantona scored. I’ll still never forget that feeling walking up through the concourse and seeing all those people. It was just incredible.”

GAME – Stalwart 25 “Saints 3-2 Arsenal. It was the last game at The

A Dell, so it was special.” 25 Certain – Property Magnate “From a personally point of view, mine vs Charlton in the last game of the 2001 season was special. It wasn’t an unbelievable finish, but it Romance meant a lot to the fans. We needed to win that

game to qualify for the Champions League and that

kicked us into action. I got a quality reception 17

16 Alive & Kicking asked some from the Charlton fans that day too, very classy 25 from them.” people you might have heard of for their favourite things about MOMENT Peter Hooton – Main Farmer 25 the Premier League. Here are “Andre Mariner sending off the wrong Arsenal player at Stamford Bridge in 2014 25 of the things that made – he sent off Keiran Gibbs instead of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain for handling watching top flight football on the line. Awkward.” quite good since 1992. KIT Joe Donovan – Blossoms Drummer “I’ve been too busy to pay quite as much attention the last couple of years but I had 25 a season ticket at the Etihad before the music thing kicked off. My favourite kit was 25 the City one that was dead classy. 2009-10 season I think. Just blue and white.”

Alive & Kicking 25 18 memorable.” this wasthemost games andsitonhis knee, in withmydadtoallthe ticket whenIusedtobunk It wasbeforeIhadaseason Liverpool vNewcastle4-3. “It won’tsurprisemanypeople,but Rob May–LacesOutTrainerFestival GAME wore itintheinfamousKungFuincident.” got intothespiritofshirtwhilsthe the teamlookeddeadhard,andCantonatotally beauty. Finishedwith goldenyellowdetails potential ofablackshirt,andforme,it’s United tobecome thefirstteamspot Savvy andeveboundary-pushingUmbroallowed “Man Utd1993-9,away–theblack‘CantonaKit’. Neal Heard–Footballshirtgeekofseriousrepute KIT was themomentthatputhimonmap.” half waylineagainstWimbledon.That “Has tobeDavidBeckham’slobfromthe –Funnyman GOAL Alive &Kicking

when Yobbo unleashed the shot I actually jumped when YobbounleashedtheshotIactuallyjumped girlfriend withaneyeon Yorkshire, beingromanticinbedwithmy Liverpool. IwasinacottageHaworth, “One ofYeboah’stwoagainstWimbledonor James Brown–Loadedfounderandmulti-tasker GOAL “. Whenhetalks, you listen.” Matt LeTissier–Free KickSpecialist PUNDIT charity ifImentioned him.” phone toMcAteerand he saidhe’dgive£100to token shoutforRobJones.Justgotoffthe McManaman, MarkVidukaandthenmyself.Also, a Riise, JavierMascherano,StevenGerrard, Steve ,JasonMcAteer,JohnArne David James,JonathanWoodgate,RioFerdinand, “From playersI’veplayedalongsideit’dbe:- Robbie Fowler–Genuinelegend BEST XI proper thinkerandgent.” landscape ofEnglishfootballforever,anda “Has tobeWenger,hechangedthearchaic MANAGER pretty special.” “Phil Babbslide-tacklingthepostwas Daniel Sandison–MundialMagazineEditor INJURY was intotalshockastowhatgoingon.” back intotheairscreaming“F*ckingHell!”She Neal Heard–Author, Trainers The of Match and A Lover’s Guide Lover’s A

and and 00 HUMDINGER MISTAKE Paul Ramsdale - Scotts Menswear Michael Richardson – Mancunian Mouthpiece “Sheffield United 6, Spurs 0. This rout “Liverpool were finally going to win the included a humdinger of a goal from blades Premier League. After 25 years of trying the legend Dane Whitehouse. That’s how title was going to return to . Steven described the goal anyway, a humdinger.” Gerrard, their greatest ever player was going to lead them to the crown in GAME his last season. They topped the James Brown – Author of Above Head Height – league. “This (lead) does not A Five-a-side life slip!” he declared. And then he “One of my favourite games was away at went and fucking slipped! He Southampton in November 2005, Leeds were 3-0 actually slipped! He didn’t down with twenty minutes to go and scored 4 trip, or fall, or topple, he to win. Liam Miller and David Healey (who I actually, literally, was stood near) were brilliant and the sense comically slipped. of excitement and disbelief as our sarcastic half time chants of “We’re going to win 4-3” turned to reality was just superb. The look on the Southampton fans faces were hilarious. My mate and I also had one of those rare 21 20 moments that because we were stood on the end of the back row halfway up we could see ourselves on video going absolutely bonkers took the ball, scored, Chelsea won and against the white back wall. Another guy I Liverpool blew it. When commentators trot-out know left at half time.” the cliché “You couldn’t write this script” they’re usually spouting shite but in this case KIT it’s all too true. Even as a Manchester United Thomas Turgoose - Lincolnshire Thesbian fan I have always held my hands-up to the “Weirdly I like a lot of the training kits fella’s talent. Gerrard was an unbelievably teams release. I think when I was about 10 I good footballer. He could do everything. had a couple of Man United ones. I think most Defend, attack, pass, dominate, score, inspire, home and away kits are all the same nowadays. lead; all of that and more. I’m approaching Money makers that’s all.” sacrilegious territory but he’s the closest thing I’ve seen to . He was MANAGER actually that good. But he slipped. That single Marcus Reed – Good at drawing slip turned Stevie G into Slippy G (and ensured “ by a mile, don’t even have to Luke Chadwick still has more Premier League explain why, a great man in every sense.” winner’s medals than him). Poor Stevie.”

Alive & Kicking PERSON Daniel Sandison – Good at Internet “. The things he’s done for Liverpool as a club and a city are incredible, I don’t think we could ever thank him enough. It was genuinely, an absolute privilege to see a Liverpool side managed by him again.” 23 22 ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE CELEBRATION Thomas Turgoose – Good at acting Rob May – Footwear Obsessive “Ibrahimovic has improved like a fine wine. “As a and a moment in general, Love the guy love, his class and his arrogance, Robbie Fowler snorting the 18 yard box became but he can easily back it up.” pretty iconic for obvious reasons!”

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN PLAYER James Brown – Follows Leeds Marcus Reed – Geordie Creative “. If he was still alive I don’t “Been so many greats over the years, think he’d mind if I went for team mates David it’s hard to pick just one....Shearer, Batty or Gary Kelly but he’s not so I’ll say Bergkamp, Cantona, Henry, Ronaldo, Speedo. He was a great player and a lovely Ginola, Le Tissier. But I’m going for guy. He was an exemplary professional football , greatest player ever and international manager. I was devastated to wear a black & white shirt, a when he died. As were so many other family, superb player.” friends and fans.”

Alive & Kicking 24 Neal Heard–Author, MANAGER “Lots of things stick in the memory “Lots ofthingsstickinthememory Stephen Graham–ScouseActor MOMENT the sendingoff,Icouldwatchthateverynight.” “,PortsmouthvBlackburnmissing Ed Quiligotti-MarshallArtist TV MOMENT a properthinkerandgent.” landscape ofEnglishfootballforever,and “Has tobeWenger,hechangedthearchaic to win the league.” to wintheleague.” Aguero’s goalforCity moment isprobably Gerrard. But,thebest obviously Steven like ThierryHenryand against Everton,players Fowler’s goalcelebration United’s greykit,Robbie about thePremierLeague.Man Trainers Alive &Kicking and A Lover’s Guide Lover’s A

we beat them. will love itif I’ll tellyou, Love it. honestly, I ” “ 26 the (Don’t) trained playersthanmost. Scott’sMenswearasked delivery, aswellgetting alotmoreoutofmedia him abouthisnickname, makingstupidnoisesand interviewed themall.He’sbeenresponsible for Peter Daleisashytype,despitehisonscreen perplexing Hollywoodstarswithhisdeadpan persona. AsSoccerAMstalwart why henolongerpretends tobearapper. Interview byJoshKelsall–ScottsMenswear Alive &Kicking runner shoot Tubes , he’s Saturday morning.Igotonwellwith the programmereligiouslyevery together. Iwasbuzzingaswatched on SoccerAM,seeinghowitwasput 16. OnmyfirstdaytheysaidIwas experience atSkySportswhenIwas I wasfortunatetogettwoweekswork How didyourcareerbeginonSoccerAM? absolutely loveit. does it.That’swhatIdonow andI different waytohoweveryone else footballers inamoregrown up yet the time,butIwantedtointerview It didn’tgodownwellwith my bossat my head,makingstupidnoisesanymore ripping myshirtopen,pouringcurryon I saiddidn’twanttobearapper, funny interviews,butattheageof30 amusing forafewyearsanddidsome Test TubeBaby”became“Tubes”.Itwas be arapperetc.That’swhen“Peterthe I’d doitinadifferentwaytryingto question, onequestiononly.Ithought I wasasked(told)doingone for 2years.Whenthatgotboring, death. Itprovedpopular,sodidthat It wasNovemberandInearlyfrozeto end game”Isaid“ummmmmalright”. beer andbringtheballsoutfor holding afakecigaretteandcanof that mean?”hesaid“dressinanappy, Baby”. Isaid“Whatonearthdoes you fancybeing“PetertheTestTube Tim Lovejoycalledmeupandsaiddo regular characterontheshow. for aweekandatthattimehehad announced hewasgoingonholiday not I’mactuallyquiteshy.Rocket on everyoccasion,believeitor sketches andquitefranklyshitmyself I hadmadeafewappearancesin come about? How didyourownsegmentontheshow etc. I’vebeenhereeversince. every Saturdaytohelpout,maketeas everyone sotheyaskedmetocomein City. Chelsea again,closelyfollowed by Champions? How doyouseethisseasongoing? after all.) Matteo (hewontheChampionsLeague Antonio ConteandRobertoDi present? Your favouritePLmanager pastand The littlemagician,GianfrancoZola. Who isyourfavouritePLplayer ofall-time? that TonyYeboahone...youknowtheone. seal thetitleforfirsttime.And Franks LampardstwoagainstBoltonto Your favouritePLgoal? the firsttime. Chelsea winningthePremierLeaguefor What isyourfavouritePLmoment? season ticketsinceIwas5. 70 mins.Hewasfumeboat,I’vehada old. MyDadhadtotakemehomeafter Chelsea vWatfordwhenIwas4years attended? What wasthefirstPLgameyou working onafewextraprojects. Another seasononSoccerAM,I’malso What’s nextforTubes? which I’mverygratefulfor. I doyes.Peoplearesonicetome street? Do yougetstopped/recognisedinthe Steve Coogan Most difficultinterview? Chelsea fan. –I’mamassive Frank, JT,AshCole,DidierDrogba, Farrell, 50Cent.Footballers–Super Rap game–DenzilWashington,Colin Your favouriteinterview?

TUBES27 Manager of the most PL teams: 1992-2017 6

Most Premier in numbers League titles: Manchester

Leading scorers: Most appearances: United 13 1 Alan Shearer...... 260 1 ...... 632 2 ...... 198 2 ...... 628 3 Andrew Cole...... 187 3 ...... 609

4 Frank Lampard...... 177 4 David James...... 572 Most Premier

League own goals: 29 5 ...... 175 5 Gary Speed...... 535 28 6 Robbie Fowler...... 163 6 ...... 516 7 ...... 158 7 ...... 514 Richard 8 ...... 150 8 Jamie Carragher..... 508 Dunne 9 ...... 149 9 ...... 505 10 ... 146 10 ...... 504 10

Most managerial promotions to the PL: Most Clean Sheets: Most Assists:

1 Petr Cech...... 149 1 Ryan Giggs...... 162 Steve 2 ...... 119 2 Cesc Fàbregas...... 107 Bruce 3 ...... 116 3 Frank Lampard...... 102 4 4 José Reina...... 114 4 Wayne Rooney...... 101 5 ...... 75 5 ...... 94 6 Mark Schwarzer...... 75 6 ...... 92 First ever 7 ...... 73 7 ...... 80 Premier League goal: 8 .... 72 8 Teddy Sheringham..... 76 9 ...... 65 9 ...... 75 Brian 10 ...... 62 10 Thierry Henry...... 74 Deane for Sheffield United 15 August 1992 IllustrationAlan byShearer Marcus Reed

Alive & Kicking 30

P A new order -

R

G

EDDY Words byMarkSmith Alive &Kicking ET

although itnearly didn’t happen. modern era for football footwear, football bootdesign ushered inthe Johnston whose revolutionary would have thought. For itwas under that frizzywig than most but there was alot more going on Mick Dundee and Marc Bolan, make himlook like amixture of Liverpool. His corkscrew hair Australian bloke who sometimes came offthe bench for legions ofpre-Premier League football fans asthat mad Then everything changed. was known to Quaser played acameo role. Lotto’s game was strong and even the likes ofBrooks and for bootdeals witheveryone from Hi-Tec toMizuno. remained at the forefront, while some players plumped with very little going ontechnology wise.Adidas still boots were justagentle evolution from the late 80s, 1992. It may have been awhole new ball game, butthe purposes ofthishere publication, let’s take itback to days. Let’snot look quitesofar back though. For the probably made oflead which grew wild back inthose to hammer actual studsintotheir boots,which were Your Dad orGrandad willproudly tellyou abouthaving be easy toforget it wasn’t always quitesoGeorge Jetson. and having laces conspicuousby their absence itwould In these times offootball bootsweighing less than air 31 32 We got together with They were agame changer, quiteliterally. without the Predator who knows where we’d be now? feels justasheavy asyour Grandad’s lead boots,but have moved onthat the firstPredator from 1994 now it’s the . It says alot for how things transformation of football inthe Premier League era, If there’s abootwhich came todefine the went hand inhand withcustomisedPredator boots. most notably acertain David Beckham, whose career stars got onboard the Predator bandwagon, perhaps journey infootball bootdevelopment. Many world is what adidas did, kickstarting atwo decade long about football, it’sprobably time tolisten, and listen Rummenigge and tellyou something and took notice. When , Karl-Heinz greats intotrialling histestbootsthat adidas sat up It wasn’t until he coerced three German footballing power orjustgeneral ball control. whether that bethrough abitofswerve, increased believed itwould add something extra toaplayer, something Johnston desired onhisfootball boot.He tennis player could achieve withtheir small bat was in Australia. The same rubbery frictionwhich atable idea came when Craig had retired and was coaching adidas weren’t keen atthe start. The initial seedofthe Craig couldn’t get any ofthe major brands tobite.Even Having produced aprocession ofprototypes, poor illustrate the lineage ofthe Predator. @thepredcollective Alive &Kicking to to

33 “ I just yelled: ‘Off you go, Cantona. It’s an early shower for you’. ”

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Words by Michael Richardson BoskoBosko Balaban Balaban - -Signed Signed by by Aston Aston Villa Villa six six millionsmillions in in 2001. 2001. Bosko Bosko managed managed 0 0goals, goals, played played onlyonly 8 8matches matches and and is is widely widely recognised recognised as as one one of of thethe worst worst signings signings in in Premier Premier League League history. history. SinceSince retirement retirement Bosko Bosko has has successfully successfully carved carved outout a aniche niche in in Lithuanian Lithuanian cinema, cinema, exclusively exclusively playingplaying baddies baddies called called Bosko. Bosko.

RyanRyan Donk Donk - -The The Dutch Dutch defensivedefensive midfielder midfielder joined joined WestWest Brom Brom in in 2008 2008 but but it it

nevernever really really worked-out worked-out at at NikodemosNikodemos Papavasiliou Papavasiliou . Baggies - Curly-haired Cypriot attacker who the Hawthorns. Baggies - Curly-haired Cypriot attacker who manager later ended up in Kevin Keegan’s thrilling manager Tony Mowbray later ended up in Kevin Keegan’s thrilling admitted he only signed Newcastle side of the early 90s. Now admitted he only signed Newcastle side of the early 90s. Now Donk because he thought the going by his first name only, he Donk because he thought the going by his first name only, he tune ‘Put a Donk on it’ by I’m enjoys success on the Reggae cabaret tune ‘Put a Donk on it’ by enjoys success on the Reggae cabaret thethe Blackout Blackout Crew Crew was was circuitcircuit with with his his partner partner Pliers. Pliers. tacticaltactical advice. advice.

applauded, - The - The FacundoFacundo Sava Sava SusoSuso – –The The Spanish Spanish under-21 under-21 ArgentinianArgentinian ex-Boca ex- Juniors internationalinternational midfielder midfielder signed signed for for strikerstriker spent spent 4 4mid-noughties mid-noughties LiverpoolLiverpool in in 2012 2012 but but left left Anfield Anfield after after seasonsseasons at at Fulham. Fulham. His His famous famous justjust 14 14 appearances. appearances. Rumour Rumour has has it it that that celebrationcelebration whereby whereby he he donned donned a a itit was was Steven Steven Gerrard Gerrard who who recommended recommended

and then 47 ZorroZorro mask mask after after scoring scoring SusoSuso to to then then Liverpool Liverpool boss boss Roy Hodgson actually came about because he but he may just have been singing his 46 actually came about because he but he may just have been singing his waswas one one of of the the founding founding members members favouritefavourite song song by by his his favourite favourite singer singer forgotten ofof Fathers Fathers for for Justice. Justice. andand Roy Roy just just misheard misheard him. him.

- -Norwich Norwich paid paid 8 8 RickyRicky van van Wolfswinkle Wolfswinkle 25 Premier League stars you’d millionmillion quid quid for for Ricky Ricky in in 2013. 2013. One One season. season. One One goal.goal. Included Included because because he’s he’s called called Ricky Ricky van van struggle to remember... Wolfswinkle,Wolfswinkle, obviously. obviously. and what they’re up to now Sergio Peter Sergio Peter - -A AGerman German lad lad with with a aSpanish Spanish first first name name andand an an English English first first name name as as a asecond second name, name, Peter Peter made made 17 17 appearancesappearances for for Blackburn Blackburn during during their their last last period period as as a a PremierPremier League League side. side. Later Later reinvented reinvented himself himself as as Peter Peter SergioSergio and and now now works works the the tennis tennis clubs clubs of of Cheshire as as a a coach/fitnesscoach/fitness instructor. instructor.

- -For For all all his his glory glory in in Serie A StefanoStefano Eranio Eranio inin the the late late 80s/early 80s/early 90s, 90s, Derby County’s County’s ex-Milan ex-Milan ScudettoScudetto and and Champions Champions League League winner winner is is included included purelypurely because because it it was was impossible impossible not not to to say say “Uvavu” “Uvavu” everyevery time time a acommentator commentator said said his his name. name.

Alive & Kicking Regi Blinker Regi Blinker - Reggae Regi spent the 1996/97 season at Hillsborough. - Reggae My RegiiPad spentinsisted the on1996/97 season at Hillsborough. My iPad insisted on changing the ex-Sheffield Wednesday man’s name to changing the ex-Sheffield Wednesday man’s name to - Mad fella who said he was ’s Regional Blinker. There’s probably a traditional AliAli Dia Dia - Mad fella who said he was George Weah’s Regional Blinker. There’s probably a traditional cousin, signed for Southampton in 1996 and played like competition in Yorkshire to find the best regional cousin, signed for Southampton in 1996 and played like competition in Yorkshire to find the best regional George Weah’s couch. His Premier League career lasted blinker who’s then declared County champion. I’ll George Weah’s couch. His Premier League career lasted blinker who’s then declared County champion. I’ll half-an- hour. Now a minor big deal on your Twitter. bet Regi would’ve been great at that. half-an- hour. Now a minor big deal on your Twitter. bet Regi would’ve been great at that. RazvanRazvan Rat Rat - The Romanian who spent a decade at Shakhtar - TheDonetsk, Romanian was whoat Westspent Ham a decade at Shakhtar Donetsk, was at West Ham for a season a year or two back in-between for a season a year or two back in-between appearing in all them Harry Potter movies. appearing in all them Harry Potter movies. - Bull-like Egyptian striker who spent 2008 AmrAmr Zaki Zaki - Bull-like Egyptian striker who spent 2008 to 2010 with Wigan and Hull. Finished his career back in to 2010 with Wigan and Hull. Finished his career back in the land of the Pharaohs with the brilliantly-named Arab the land of the Pharaoh's with the brilliantly-named Contractors FC. Now a well- respected WWE Smackdown - Joined Vitoria Vitória de Guimarães for Arab Contractors FC. Now a well- respected WWE Smackdown BebeBebe - Joined Vitoria Vitória de Guimarães for Superstar fighting under the name Amr Apophis. £600.000 in July 2010. Never played for them. Joined Superstar fighting under the name Amr Apophis. £600.000 in July 2010. Never played for them. Joined Ruud Boffin Manchester United in August 2010 for £7.4 million. Ruud Boffin – Belgian goalkeeper who Manchester United in August 2010 for £7.4 million. played just once in– Belgianthe Premier goalkeeper League who Played twice in 4 years. Abandoned by his parents, he played just once in the Premier League Played twice in 4 years. Abandoned by his parents, he for West Ham United during a two-year grew up in a homeless shelter. Went on to make a good for West Ham United during a two-year grew up in a homeless shelter. Went on to make a good spell. Since retirement Ruud has taken spell. Since retirement Ruud has taken career for himself as a half-decent goalscorer in Spain Radostin Kishishev his name literally and is now involved career for himself as a half-decent goalscorer in Spain Radostin Kishishev his name literally and is now involved and Portugal. Good luck to him. Ryo Miyaichi - The 12 year old Manga – The Bulgarian in academic research and lecturing in and Portugal. Good luck to him. Ryo Miyaichi - The 12 year old Manga – The Bulgarian in academic research and lecturing in cartoon spent 2011 until 2015 at international right-back areas of science that focusses on cartoon spent 2011 until 2015 at international right-back areas of science that focusses on Arsenal, but only appeared in the cum-midfielder payed for subjects like willies, boobies, bums, etc Arsenal, but only appeared in the cum-midfielder payed for subjects like willies, boobies, bums, etc Premier League for Bolton and Wigan on Charlton between 200 and Premier League for Bolton and Wigan on Charlton between 200 and Lee-DongLee-Dong Gook Gook loan. Has subsequently found enormous 2007. Left the Addicks after Korean lad who spent - twoSouth loan. Has subsequently found enormous 2007. Left the Addicks after Korean lad who spent - twoSouth fame in a hugely successful J-pop group. a bust-up with a team-mate seasons at Middlesbrough in fame in a hugely successful J-pop group. a bust-up with a team-mate seasons at Middlesbrough in the who spent three years – Argentinian striker who was the mid-noughties. Dong. who spent three years Sixto Peralta – Argentinian striker who was mid-noughties. Dong. saying “Bless you” every Sixto Peralta

saying “Bless you” every loaned to Ipswich Town from Internazionale during 49 time Radostin introduced loaned to Ipswich Town from Internazionale during time Radostin introduced the 2001/02 season. The Tractor Boys relegation 48 Kevin Theophile himself to someone. the 2001/02 season. The Tractor Boys relegation Kevin Theophile himself to someone. saw Sixto leave and set-off on travels that saw saw Sixto leave and set-off on travels that saw - Argentine Catherine him play for 9 clubs in 4 countries. Ended his - Argentine Catherine - It would be him play for 9 clubs in 4 countries. Ended his Horacio Carbonari easy to make gags - It about would the be career back in his native Argentina where he Horacio Carbonari easy to make gags about the career back in his native Argentina where he defender who joined Derby in 1998, ex-Cardiff man’s name but played in a team alongside his brothers Sevento, defender who joined Derby in 1998, ex-Cardiff man’s name but played in a team alongside his brothers Sevento, becoming a firm favourite with the Rams that would be childish and Eighto and Nineto. becoming a firm favourite with the Rams that would be childish and Eighto and Nineto. for 4 seasons. After boss Jim Smith left, juvenile. Kevin ‘Hater of for 4 seasons. After boss Jim Smith left, juvenile. Kevin ‘Hater of Szilárd Németh new gaffer John Gregory shipped him out Gods’ Cathy didn’t hang Szilárd Németh new gaffer John Gregory shipped him out Gods’ Cathy didn’t hang the first few years of– Slovakianthe millennium striker with who spent because he didn’t like “Argies or pasta”. around in the Premier the first few years of– Slovakianthe millennium striker with who spent because he didn’t like “Argies or pasta”. around in the Premier Middlesbrough. Upon retiring Nemeth discovered Andrinak Now the owner of Buenos Aries largest League for long. Just like Middlesbrough. Upon retiring Nemeth discovered Andrinak Now the owner of Buenos Aries largest League for long. Just like that he was the only person in the world called Teymourian chain of Italian restaurants called Cardiff. Doubt either will that he was the only person in the world called Teymourian chain of Italian restaurants called Cardiff. Doubt either will Szilard so established a foundation for the - Despite sounding Horacio’s, specialising in Fettuccine. be back. Szilard so established a foundation for the - Despite sounding like Horacio’s, specialising in Fettuccine. be back. promotion of the name. There are now 106 Szilard’s like a member of the promotion of the name. There are now 106 Szilard’s a member of the Rebel around the world, although with 96% of them being Rebel Alliance from around the world, although with 96% of them being Alliance from the from the Middlesbrough and wider Tees region, the planet Tatooine, from the Middlesbrough and wider Tees region, planet Tatooine, Nemeth is keen to break into new markets. Andrinak was actually Nemeth is keen to break into new markets. Andrinak was actually - The first Italian to play in the Premier an Iranian - The first Italian to play in the Premier an Iranian AndreaAndrea Silenzi Silenzi international who League, big Andrea joined Forest in 1995. After lining-up international who League, big Andrea joined Forest in 1995. After lining-up turned-out for Big alongside Maradona, , Francescoli and Zola in , turned-out for Big alongside Maradona, Careca, Francescoli and Zola in Italy, Sam’s Bolton between Andrea unsurprisingly struggled at the when paired Sam’s Bolton between Andrea unsurprisingly struggled at the City Ground when paired – Manager Chris Coleman took 2006 and 2008. Looking with Kevin Campbell or Jason ‘Pineapple-head’ Lee. Voted – Manager Chris Coleman took 2006 and 2008. Looking with Kevin Campbell or Jason ‘Pineapple-head’ Lee. Voted like the result of a Vincenzo Montella like the result of a Forest’s worst-ever signing, he now runs a chain of hair Montella on-loan to in 2006. Following face-swap between Forest’s worst-ever signing, he now runs a chain of hair Montella on-loan to Craven Cottage in 2006. Following face-swap between salons on the Amalfi coast. Coleman’s exit, and despite near-on 100 goals for Roma and Zlatan salons on the Amalfi coast. Coleman’s exit, and despite near-on 100 goals for Roma Lionel Messi and Zlatan Quincy and 20 Italy caps, new manager didn’t Ibrahimovich, ‘Ando’ Quincy – Ghanian forward who played for a dozen-or- so and 20 Italy caps, new manager Lawrie Sanchez didn’t Ibrahimovich, ‘Ando’ games for Arsenal – Ghanian and forwardPortsmouth who inplayed the early-to-for a dozen-or- mid 90’s. so fancy Vincenzo so he returned to Italy with Sampdoria once famously stopped games for Arsenal and Portsmouth in the early-to- mid 90’s. fancy Vincenzo so he returned to Italy with Sampdoria once famously stopped It never really worked-out for Quincy in the Premier League where he carried on banging them in before becoming an Iranian league game It never really worked-out for Quincy in the Premier League where he carried on banging them in before becoming an Iranian league game which shouldn’t have come as any surprise really as he was manager of Roma, Fiorentina, Sampdoria and Milan. to rescue a butterfly. which shouldn’t have come as any surprise really as he was manager of Roma, Fiorentina, Sampdoria and Milan. to rescue a butterfly. actually a medical examiner from Los Angeles. Sanchez lasted 6 months at Fulham before being sacked The big Jessie. actually a medical examiner from Los Angeles. Sanchez lasted 6 months at Fulham before being sacked The big Jessie. and taking over at Barnet. and taking over at Barnet.

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