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Adjusting to dorm life Some freshmen face tough transitions By Simone Thiessen doing something wrong." Corre.rptmdent At this point, Quinn's too afraid to show up for class because she's afraid of what her She moved in with high expectations and teachers will say. She said she realizes her good intentions, but Caroline Quinn never mistakes, but isn't quite sure of how to fix realized living on her own would be this hard. them. All her life Caroline's routine consisted of "I threw myself into this hole, and no one's getting up at about 7:30a.m., going to school, going to throw me a ladder to get out,'' she eating, going to dance practice and then get­ said. ting to bed. Now that she lives at the Along with time management, there are Columbia Residence Center, things have many other issues students face when li vi ng changed a little for the freshman dance major. on their own. "I just didn't have the motivation to get The kitchen certainly presents a big chal­ up... , sometimes I even slept right through my lenge. That includes not only the art of cook­ alarm," she admitted. ing itself, but also dealing with nutrition. For For Quinn and many other students, livi ng many students, knowing what foods to eat or away from home for the first year can be chal­ how to take care of their bodies is a challenge lenging. There are so many new responsibili­ in itself. ties to take on, especially in the Columbia's "It 's hard to get used to not having the full Residence Center, which offers apartment­ meals I was used to getting at home, and style living rather than a two-person dorm cooking out of a box more often,'' said with a community bathroom. Amanda Crosas, a freshman in art manage­ In her first week of college, Quinn realized ment. her day began much earlier than any of her For college students, li ving on their own roommates, who often didn't start until the also means dealing with new-found freedom. afternoon. Her dance classes were all early in Many students choose to go away to school the morning. So, she went to bed earlier-{)r just in hopes of finding this freedom. at least she tried to. "I just had this itch to get away from the "I would just lie there. I could hear [my small town in New Jersey I grew up in," said roommates] talking and having fun and I just Brenna McLaughlin, a freshman photo-jour­ wanted to be out there with them," she said. nalism student. ''Fo·r· the· fitst time things in' In the first few days, she would go to class my life are working out the way I want them but was too tired to dance because she stayed to and I'm in charge of where I go in life." awake the night before--result of not being McLaughlin also agreed that time manage­ able to block out her surroundings. Before ment is an issue for her. Coming next week long, Quinn joined her roommates in the liv­ "I had to make an adjustment from the way ing room figuring it wouldn't make a differ­ Photo Essay on boxers at the Windy City Boxing Club ence whether she's awake in bed or with her See Freshmen, page 2 roommates. The late nights made it tough to make her morning dance classes. "I'm used to dancing in the afternoon or evening, but never in the morning. When I get into a routine, it's hard for me to change. I hate change," Quinn said. Secut1ity clo·ses in on suspect in Six weeks after the beginning of the semester, Quinn has missed more classes than she can remember to count. "I've [barely] been to one of my classes," Columbi.~'s mounting thefts she admitted. "I'm not proud of it, but it's eas­ ier and so much more fun." By Eva Boyer the suspect Nov. 21 when he was spotted on the SIXth floor of Quinn is learning, like other students, that responsibility mounts at the "dorms." For stu­ Staff Writer . . the I 1 th Street Campus between 5 and 6:30 p.m. According dents at the Residence Center, responsibilities ,, ....,.}i(I .·.· ' · .. to Gallegos, the suspect entered the room after a student left a include cooking meals, managing phone and . Columbia Coljege) ecurity obtained a composite drawing " light meter kit in a classroom. The suspect proceeded to pick cable bills, and no curfews restrictions. · of a man suspected .to be involved in series o(recent thefts on up the equipment, but he was inunediately approached by a Students who live in typical dorms don't usu­ campus, accord_ing to Jose Gallegos, director ·of security at work aide who grabbed him and forced him to give the equip­ Columbia. The School of the An fnstitute helped produce the ment back. Security was called to the scene, but the man had ally have these luxuries. Unlike other schools' drawing. · already fled before the officers' arrival. dorms, Columbia students have to adjust to life with three or five other people, not just The man in the drawing is believed to be responsible for Within 20 minutes, a man with a same description was seen one. numerous thefts that plagued several buildings at Columbia, wandering around the lOth floor photo lab in the 600 S. "For the next nine months, your room­ as well as DePauLUIJjversity's downtown buildings. Michigan building. When asked if he needed help, he left the mates will be there just like fami ly,'' said Several ps:oP.le wlio have spotted the man roaming the halls area. About 20 minutes later, the security was notified of an Kristin Fourroux, assistant director of the f

Features (,, Special Pullout Scream 2 contest It's lawyer time I' •' 1 ;;.i Showcase of again with literary works by 'Rainmaker' . ~;11)-.:~ . ·' Columbia students Page 11 - ~ . ~:(/ " ' and staff Pagel2 .'lllll!il . ·. - Freshmen, ''-Pt 5: 0 J JC The Chronicle Security dent and did a sweep of the trash cans or Cnlumhla Cull rgr C hicago continued from page I while Miller gave a description of !he continued from page 1 62.1 S. \Vah:ISh Ave., Suite 205 1 man. assignments were1Mft !fbiJv .t1fll {c~oo l 1" she said. Community Media Workshop, located C hkuJ!tu. Jllinnl-. 60605 "At the be-- IW:llxta Mackinnon recognized the man .Wig lat«ff-~ nl> ~~rlstinating , on the second floor of the Wabash but I"m getting bener and taking my work more serious­ Miller had described as the same man ly." building. The Workshop's reporter who wandered into the workshop a l\laln Line (.11 2) J H -B43 Laura Miller saw a man who fits the Of course most college students go through time week earlier. The man came into Phn l ugro~~ph y (.11 2) 3-14· 7732 description come out of one of the management rroblems to some degree, at Columbia or Mackinnon's office and spent almost a 1\d,·u tisinJ,: (.112) .14~ -7~32 any other school. rooms in the office. half hour asking her questions about. F t·: llun·~ (.Ill) .\~4-7S21 Miller said his presence caught her Jackie Hunt. an academic advisor aJ Loyola the Community Media Workshop. ~27-3920 by surprise because she dido ' t hear the F :1 ~ t.ll2) University. agrees. "Student s want to rrovc it to the Mackinnon thought he was a stu· bell that hangs on the entrance door to dent. "H wasn' t random. That was the world that they can do it on their own. They usually alert when someone enters the area. Wch Addn•s.·~ thing that bothered me the most," said ,; don' t look for help until the grades come," she said. The man was eating a sandwich as wwwS.intt•nu·ct•ss.cnm/d lrcmiclt· When students rcali7.c Jhcy need help the first thing Kimberly. " He had to have been watch­ Miller asked if he needed any help. l·> rnuil Address ing.H ::.: they can do is talk to their Communily Assistant. C.A.s "No, my mouth is full," the man C hron96@inlt'fllt't't'S.'I.ccun arc there to listen to the students 's comr laints or prob­ "There are too many people wan­ replied and walked out the door. lems and r otenl ially lead them in the right direclion or dering around the school," said Laurie. When Kimberly Mackinnon, cus­ person to talk Jo. She echoes the sentiment of many at <.:hronlclc Sturf Mcmhers tomer service representative for the Columhia offers the Year One Discovery program for the college, especially victims who are Community Media Workshop, students who may need help with time managcmenl, asking what else can be done to secure. Editor-in-C hief returned moments later, she discovered study skills or any other issues that may come up during the building. Miller believes that Mc nm Ay1 her wallet, which contained $60 in cash your first year at college. While this is a non-credit class checking identifications at the door ;,.,ith new 10-ride Metra pass and ATM that requires students to sign up, Sheila Carter. coordi­ may be a solution. ManaginJt f.:dllor card, was gone. "lf the college community wants nator of special programs, said those "in need" are wel­ "Even as he was walking out, I felt Rotx:n Stevenson come to anend. something like that, then that is some­ funny like he stole something," said The class/workshop meets eve!)• Friday from II a.m. thing that needs to be addressed," Miller. She immediately notified secu­ Gallegos said. News Editor u111il 12:30 p.m. in room 411 of the Wabash building. rity. Guards took a report of the inci- Rut Kancya Cat1er is also the instructor of the course.

Assi.'ltant News Editor Dan Bischoff Jason K:u-avari k Watching your language: New book O pinion Editor Chud Jordan

Fnturcs f.:dilnr tries to decipher Generation X slang Mu.:hd lc DuFour By Lisa Bcrtagnoli one way to do that," she adds. they o ffer to donalc a kidney to save your life, Assis tant Features Edito r College Prrss Sen,ice It is. even if Jhc same slang words keep a more enthusiastic response is warranted. krry l.:lBu) cyding through. generation after generation. • Circling the drain: Though originally If you work a McJob, d ri ve a hooptic For instance, Wesson defines "phat" as ··cool medical slang for a patient ncar death who inherited from your parents. think Oasis is dcf and hip"- using slang Jo define slang. refused to give up the ghost, it is now also OcsiJ:! n Editor and suspect your roommalc is a Barney. then " Lots of Generation X tal k is recycled."" used to describe projects that have no more Roh England odds arc deciphering the slang of Generation says Ellis. pointing out that ""phat," ··cool"" life in them but refuse to die. "That coffee X is not exactly a challenge. and ""hip" all came from the Miles Davis jazz shop is fi nally closing. It"s been circling the PholoJ.traphy Edito r Now. thanks to Yann Wes>on, anybody era. ··People just think they're the fi rst ones to drain for the last six months.'' Bl:ur Frcdnd from 8 to 80 can tap into your vocabulary, usc these words," he says. *De f: Outstand ing, terrifi c. too. Wesson j ust published ··Generation X: Wesson says he's fi nding recycled words • Drinking his milk: Hot guy. " He's drink­ A.uistant Pho t o~nph~· Edilor Field Guide and Lexicon·· (Orion Media. have a Gcn-X Jwist. For instance. "cool"" is ing his milk." Bnan M :u~u.'Y>~ Cl $9.95). that includes fun facts about the way pronounced quickly. and sounds more like *Does windows: A basketball term that you Jalk. And the way )OU dress and have fun. ""kuhl." he notes. indicates the player can dribble dunk, shoot Oh. and serious stuff. too. like the way you Special Section Editor Gcn Xcrs might noJ he the fi rst ones to from outs ide, guard- whatever the task­ feel about the environment , fami ly life and spout "" kuh l." but they arc certainly the fi rst to J:uncs Bootcr better than anyone e lse. It is also used to label Jhc fuJ urc of the world. utter "voice jail." "ohnosccond ." and other a person who can perform certain tasks Wesson. a 50-something who live' in San words thai spring from technology. ··voice extreme ly well. A d,•t: rt i, in~ l\ l a na~ t.· r Diego. ,aid he ' tartcd rc,carching Jhe hook jail" is the term Wesson fo und fo r voice mail *Filler: A relationship sustained while Alll) 1'1 <. ~lc after being totally my,tificd hy a convcr.ation so badly de,igned that a user gets trapped in waiting for the right one Jo happen along. amon1! several Gcncralion Xcr!'l tn a co ff~..·c· it. TI1c oh-su-witty ""ohnosecond"" marks the *Joncsin': Badly in need of. '"I'm Joncsin' \\'('h I'<.IKl' Editnr ho u 'c~ One th1ng led to another. and "'on he instant you realite you've hit the wrong bui­ for a double cxpresso.'" M 3r~ D:~.>.<.·u h had an army of 25 re,card>e" roan11ng coffee ton on your comruter and thai love note is *Hooptie: Big gas-guzzling cruiser with a 'hop' and hrcwcnc' armed wilh c hrhoard, gomg Jo your mother. not your girl friend. " It minimum of 1.000 square feet of interior. A.'o...\i.,ta nt W t.> h PaKt.' Editor (to wrue down new " ord') and ca'h (10 pay ' houldn "t have been a 'urrrise hut there arc a SuiJable for those unpla nned, homeless 'Jlcakcr> heJwcen Sl -$5 for word' and new lot of technical words," Wesson says. Bcrhn;:~ rJ L.u,,on odysseys or as a spare bedroom for uninvited cxprc>Ston,). To verify word,. rc,carcher. Contrasts. too. mark the Gcn-X vocabu­ house guests. were mstructed to have them authenHcatcd hy lary. Take hngus. for instance. While Daniel *Kervorking: To kill something. "Look, Cop~· Editn'"' three independent. reliable source,. They Webster '"Y' it means " fake" and a clueless kcvork that project and let ·s go ouJ for a burg­ Eileen La Valle found 1.600 word,, a list Wcs,on weeded rarcnt might think it means "no good," Gcn X cr." Mu•. hcllc Ptx:CK l... down to 900 to mdude in the hook. cognoscenti know il means the oprositc. *Kodak Courage: An extra dose of Sarn Walter\ "There's :! whole new exciting situation " It 's a defiance Jhi ng." says Janelle courage and the tendency to go beyond one's develoring."" Wc>Son says of Jhc cuhure of Wilson. an assistant professor of sociology at usual physical limits when being filmed or St:nior Writer X cr.. who generally arc defined as those horn University of Minnesota. Duluth. "This is photographed, especially during action Leon Tnpplcll between 1965 and 1980. "It 's almost too con­ Gen X"s way of sayi ng "" You meant it this sports, such as skateboarding, snowboarding temporary to write down ... way, but we're going 10 mean il thi s way." and extreme skiing. S ta ll' Writers Mike Ell is. an amaleur linguist who has a Wi lson c ites ··fresh" as an example. "" If 1 *Merched: The commercialization of any­ Wch site devoted to what he calls "slanguage" told a student my weekend plans and he said, Taru,h:a Allen thing, but particularly things seen as repre­ (slanguage.com), noles that popular slang ' fresh,' I'd take that Jo mean that what I'm sentative of Gcn X. This is not a good thing. Eva Boyer changes so fast that it 's almost impossible to doing is reall y dull." *Narg: Ugly, bad. Andrew J Brad ley record . No matter what the generation. he On the other hand, she knows a Gcn X *Psychographic: Marked by intense visual Amy Pugh points o ut . peorlc usc slang for the same rca­ complimcnl when she sees one. A couple of input. Glen Roj son: to identify themselves as part of a group. quarters ago. Wilson was reading Jhrough sJu­ *Psychotic: Really great. Shcryllirul That's exactly how Caryn Rousseau. an dent evaluations and saw the comment, *Quecved: To run out of energy. Horace Toombs undergrad at the Univcrsily of Missouri ­ " Professor Wilson rocks!" *Triscuit: To be a flake, an airhead. "Don't Ka1 Zeman Columbia, feels . "Every generation has its " I felt like I had arrived," she says. be a triscuit." own way of communicating," says Rousseau. Some terms found by Wesson's Jeam *Ubem1ensch: German term coined by who says. for example, UM students don' t gel Staff ~olograph~n; include: Friedrich Nietzche to describe his vision of a mad, they get saucy. "We say saucy- like • Barney: Moron, jerk. Vmccnt Johnson superior human being. Now used ironically to 'I'm going Jo get saucy' instead of 'I'm going . • The Bomb: The best. Jo Machado put down someone who acts as if he or she is to get upscJ or mad.' • Cool beans: An expression of modcraJe mch better than others, morally or otherwise: Stacey Weber "The younger crowd always wants to scp· j oy. When someo ne offers to pay your way "Oh. you' re such an Ubem1enseh!" Stacy Morgan araJc itself from Jhc older crowd and slang is into a movie, you c&n reply, "Cool Beans!" If Marc Tohm

faculty Adv l~ur Jim Sul!lkJ

Tht! Clmuw ,,. IS a Mudcnt produced new ~papc: r It 111 puhh11hcd em Munday!. dunng the spring and fall scrneslcr!l All ar11clc!., photos and graphiC!. pnntct.l in thn., pou:l or future puhhcauuns lll:..IY nul be reprcxluccd Without the wnllcn pcr­ rmu mn from Th,. C.:lrrmud,. Vaew!. c:xprcll\ed an 1 h1 ~ ucw!ipapcr arc not nec­ Ci."':.t ral y thu11c uf the Juurnahsm lJcparlment or Columh1:1 College Chic3go RECEIVED 4 ADVERTISEl\.'fENT Decem her I. I 9'f7

... ., t ' .. - l : • 4

To the Columbia College Chicago

II Community: .! Thank you for sharing your gifts and caring for those less fortunate this holiday season. The staff and residents of the Pacific Garden Mission were truly grateful for your time and contributions. On behalf of the Year One Discovery Program and the Offices of Minority Affairs and Student Life and Development, we take this opportunity to say how much we appreciate you. Happy Holidays! December· 1. 1997 OPINION 5 Editorial cartoon of the week

. Robert Stevenson

Christmas shopping Chronicle style "Attention K-Mart shoppers, you have 24 days to finish your Christmas shopping." Did you do any Christmas shopping last Friday, the busiest shopping day in the United States? I finished mine months ago and I even got everyone the same thing, nothing. -~.r~~ ~.-. Now I' m no Scrooge, nor am I a Grinch .. I could never steal ~- - Christmas, I am a college student. A college student with massive amounts of loans and not enough financial aid to cover my tu ition. So how would I possibly be able to buy Christmas gifts for everyone? I know what is needed, the Poor College Students Guide t.o gift buying... · So here it is, a few weeks before the year-end holidays you have Editorial lint in your pockets and single digits in the checking account with no credit available to you, n.ol even from K-Mart. So what kind of stuff can you get that special someone for Christmas? Recent thefts should cause In this weeks Newsweek, there's a small article on all the differ­ security to re-evaluate policy ent clubs available l.o send someone something every month. There is the Potato .of the Month, which is tile spud that keeps on giving, A recent rash of thefts and security's repeated Some have suggested a possible solution to the Scones of the Month, Preserves .of the Month, the International fai lures to catch the suspect raise questions about problem. As reported in .Eva Boyer's front page Junk Food of the Month and last but not least, Smut of the Month club, a Chronicle favorite. the school's security policy. For Columbia's securi­ story, some victims believe security should begin Now these are just a few of gifts that keep on giving month after ty, it seems spotting suspects is one thing, but checking IDs at the front door. month ... but they are probably out of the poor college student's apprehending them is another. But carding at the doors would be an inconve­ priceJange. At first glance, it seems that security is doing nience to all students and cause more troubles in the So here's The Chronicle's Poor College Students Guide to everything right : It notified students and faculty long run. Will students be force to show IDs every Holiday Shopping: about the burglaries and the suspect's description. time they enter the building, even if they left the 1.) Cheap Faux Breasts- Simply visit any of the bathrooms Even with postings and descriptions, the suspect building for a five minute smoke? around campus and take as much toilet paper as you can. Then give has managed to pass the front desk security on more It is a di lemma every campus security faces: it to your female friends who need it. Most importantly, it's safe. No than one occasion. securing the campus and the safety of students and leaky sil icone and it's recyclable. One of my friends recommends According to many witnesses, the suspect's faculty members without inconveniencing them in two-ply quilted, it's softer against the skin. 2.) Instant Manhood - Take the empty rolls from the toilet appearance allowed him to walk in the building the process. paper you stole for your girlfriend ... Be very careful , paper cuts undetected. The descriptions of the suspect illus­ Security being more pro-active in the building could end your chances of having children. I guess this could also trate the thief doesn't look like what someone might be the best choice. If security made a con­ be a cheap way t.o get a vasectomy. would call a suspicions character. The campus secu­ certed effort to be visible throughoul the building 3.) Poor Man's Toupee -- Visi t your neighborhood barber rity describes the suspect as well dressed, with a potential thieves may stop targcling Columbia. shop .or hair salon and get as much ha ir off of the noor that is s im­ brief case or bag. In the past security has contended that il needs at ilar t.o what used to be on the head of the toupee receiver. After col­ Many of the victims and witnesses have thought least one guard at the entrance of each huilding to lecting enough hair, then get a paper plate and glue the follicle rem­ that the suspect is a student. So how docs security monitor !hose e ntering. Perhaps security could nants in a style they'll love. Stay away from the comb-over. distinguish between the people that don't. belong patrol the fl oors of buildings while allowin g one 4.) Columbia-Style Liposuction ~ All you need here is a from students? blunt butter knife from the Harrison and a straw from the guard to stay at the from door. Underground. Simply cut yourself open, insert the straw and suck, suck, suck the fat away' But make sure you save the fat , you can use it for another gift .. 5.) Personal Candles - Here's where the sucked out fat Letters to the editor comes in to play. Simply heat it up in a pan then add crayon shav­ ings to make lovely colors. When the "wax" is melted, pour it into molds. You can use whatever you want for molds to make the can­ In defense of Part-time· faculty dles, things laying around the house. Wicks are simple, cut up your able to earn living wages. Let both employers and shoelaces. To the editor: employees enjoy the benefi ts of nexibility but let 6.) Instant Pants-- Take a garbage bag, clear or opaque, you can decide for yourself what the wearer will look best in. Simply it not create a new under-class: those who must take the bag, cut a couple holes in it and use some rubber bands to Your article in last week's Chronicle, "Part­ work part-time because hiring part-time makes secure the attire. T hey'll be stylin'! time Work an Issue For The Millennium," dramat­ those who work full-time that much more pros­ 7 .) Instant Sexy Legs - All you need is a pair of nice legs, icall y highlights why I am an activist for P-fac, the perous. a black permanent marker and steady hands. These three things will Part-time Faculty Association at Columbia. President Duff's argument that the mission of get you fish-net stockings and more. Just draw them in . It 's just as When I was a child, part-lime work was called the college is to hire instructors who arc "profes­ easy as playing connect the dots. Hey, there ya go, two gifts in one, "moon-lighting" and was fairly rare. People did it sional," that is who hold full -time jobs in a relat­ a family game and fish-nets, you can't go wrong there. in order to make ends meet, as they do now, but ed, but non-academic environment, is fine. Just 8.) Pl atform Shoes - Strap the books the school won't buy invariably they held full-time jobs as well or were because a person is professional is no reason to back to the bottoms of some $2 shoes from Pay less, it's that simple. otherwise obligated, such as mother of children, to degrade hi s or her contribution with less pay and 9.) Annual Chronicle Holiday Pull-it Out Section - The gift that keeps on giving. You can pull-it out at anytime, on the train, in only work outside of the home on a part-time benefits. And remember, too. that many of those class, in the can ... and everyone wi ll know someone cares about basis. professionals, be they dancers, actors, musicians, you. · Since then, I have become an adult and have music producers, artists, or writers, may well be 10.) After Pants Blow-up Doll - When you're done with the seen the profiteers of America use, nay abuse, li ving on substandard wages. pants from item number 6, simply re-arrange the rubber bands and part-time employees for the simple reason that One last note. The article said that "The major­ you are ready for a hot night of Iovin'. they are cheaper. We part-timers very often are ity of part-times workers limit their hours by employed, as we arc at Columbia, with no bar­ choice." That may be the case, but I am sure that There you have it, the First Annual Chronicle's Poor College gaining rights, no benefits, lower wages, no among the part-time teachers at Columbia, there Students Guide to Holiday Shopping, and I hope you got some seniority, and no security. arc more than a few who would quickly accept helpful holiday hints here. If you have any more to add to our list, Sure those who have bonuses based on profits full-time employment. After all, it's a lot easier to e-mail them to us at [email protected]! Maybe we'll run them later in December. extol the value of the "Oexibility" of hiring part­ teach fi ve classes a week at one institution than at timers. But there is no correlation between a fl ex­ three and the facts show that many of us "part­ ible and part-time working schedule. and the

explains why she is fascinated with my two piece black and white ensemble. STUFF FROM As I'm listening to her lesson on men's fashion 101 , I'm scanning her body from head to toe like an StAFF robotic x-ray machine. I'm o bserving her cute, dev­ ilish smile and those glossy, pretty brown eyes that I could stare at all night long. She introduces me to Bv HORACE TOOMBS a couple of her friends who are ready to go partying. We all dec ide to go out. First we hit the Funky Buddah. The club is BRIONI $150 packed and the DJ is playing some slamming house music. Unfortunately it's closing time, so we jump Elevator To Hell It'> around 12:45 a.m. and I take o ne last look in in a cab and head over to Shelter. the mirror he fore I step out to the "old school jam'' Pretty Brown Eyes is tired, but as we're exiting Columbia's elevators arc a seemingly endless source of small sponsored by the National Associatio n of Black the club I suggest we hang loose for about fifteen lalk and complaints from students and facult y. Eavesdrop on any Journalists. My shirt is open just enough to show minutes. My crew tel ls me they appreciated the group huddled expectantly. eternal ly hy the elevator doors and some chest. While attending the party for the NABJ small to ur and this will be a night to remember. you're <.:cr tain t\vo hear one or l\vo cxa:-.pcratcd, "these c lcv.-uors this summer at the Hyatt hotel I never expected my We c limb into a cab and cruise over to the Tempo arc so slow:· and the requi,ite. " I know." response. Until recent­ $ 150 pair of chalk-striped Brioni slacks to catch the restaurant. The restaurant is pac ked, but it does not ly. _( myself could frequently he spotted in the lohhy of the Torco eye of a gorgeous reporter from the Miami Herald. take long to be seated. For the rest of the night we budd mg. shakmg my fiSt VIOlently Ill the direction of the elevators The ballroom is filled to capac ity with hundreds laugh and joke like old high school pals. (tell and raving ahout how. "somehod ~ ought to do something about of pretty black women and dehonair bl ack men. It's myself, " it 's been a lo ng time since I' ve had this the'c godamn e le vators or I JUSt moghtjix them myself"" "Who's in the air that there is a party going o n in this joint. much fun. We ll, the fun is about to come to a halt. that ang ry little man:· asked people in the surrounding crowd. I feel good when my brothers and sisters arc having It's 4:30a.m. and I'm tired." hadong away slowly and nodding their heads in nervous agree­ a great time together. I bump into an o ld friend and O nce I climb out of the cab I can feel the vibe men! wi th everything I said. " I think that's the naked 'man ... we walk around holding hands but that comes to an between both of us getting stronger. She grabs a The elevators do take an egregious amount of time to come end hecause she's destroying my opportunity for a piece of paper and I write my number on it. Pretty "hen called. But I'm of the new opinion that we sho uld shut the booty call. Brown Eyes asks me if we could see each other the hell up ahout this. Last month. I nwvcd into a seventh-fl oor loft I step out of the hall room and I notice a group of next night. I tell her it is a possibility, but don' t "Hh its own elevator. Sometimes I think the hest thing about it ­ ladies having a conversation. One lady brings a count on it. I made a commitment to spend time and certainly the hest thing for me- is that it'' almost always on sparkle and smile to my face. So I casually toss my with her on Sunday. the fritt.. charming and innocent smile her way and she It's time for me to go. As we look into each It 's a real testimony to my unhound slo thfulness that I would acknowledges me. She's petite. cute, sexy and has other's eyes there's a moment of silence, then she even consider riding in the e levator/ohvious death-trap. The ele­ pretty hrown eyes, hut what really grabbed my walks up to me and kisses me. o n the cheek. After vator doors on each landing have a litt le window so you ..:an sec attention is that she has short hair and SHE IS GOR­ that, we embrace each other and I walk down the the <:a~les passing hy. aflixed with v:orious hits of string and GEOUS. escalator as she takes the elevator up to her room. maskmg tape. Masking t••pe may have a thousand uses. but A few minutes later she walks up to me and The fun is over for the moment but hope fully we'll keeping my elevator together sho uld not h~ one of them. introduces herself. I will call her Pretty Brown Eyes. sec each other again . Unl ike at Columbia. in my huilding they do n' t even make a Now we arc hoth standing there and I' m nervous ,_t""' of inspe.:ting the elevators; the depression where the inspe..:­ as he ll because I don't know what to say. Finally, Those two days we spent together were definite­ twn ,·eruficatc would normally he framed has been painted over after moments of silen,e. I ask her to explain her ly " nights to remember." Pretty Brown Eyes ener­ to mat..:h the rest of the elevator. I took the c lcvatc>r up from the encyclopedia of fashion knowledge to me. as if, I gized a nerve in one of my cells that has been dried liN floor yesterday. As the doors slid shut. I prepared myself for were a three-year-old. I pose the question. "what up for quite some time. I can't explain the energy any eventuality: flames shooting out or the huttons. cle..:tri..:ity arc­ separates my attire from the other men at this between the two of us. mg out ol the hght foxture. the hott om droppi ng out. But the elc­ party'!" She tells me how she studied fashion and ' at or surprised me wit h a new trit.:k. When it got hctwccn the third and fourth floor. it hegan "stammering". jamming violentl y up Toy Fair in New York. anJ down whole makmg hornhle ~ a-e hunk o ng noises. I fl attened -In 1967, the "Twist and Turn" Barbie was myself again ... t the 'Trn going to plunge to my death! .. 1 MATTEL GETS REAL WITH BARBIE wa ll ~. released. with swivel waist and hips. thought wildl). In a p.onoc. I got down on a runner·, crou..:h and -In 1975, "Skipper," Barbie's sidekick, sprouted "ailed anxiou>ly for 1he doors to open. Ding' Seventh floor' I By Lynne S nyder breasts. . leapt out li~e an cpllcpti.: puma. 1umhlcJ aero" the landinc and cnlmmuJt -In 1980, Black Barbie was re leased. allllO!'!I rolled do wn ~('VCil nights o f stai r" hcforc I manag~d (0 >top. - One of my fa vorite childhood memories is "play­ -In 1984, Barbie with her o wn briefcase, calcula- tor. newspaper and bus iness card is released. While not takin ~ the elevator is definitely the " 'fc,t option. ing Barboes" with my hest friend Liz. Barhie acwu­ -In 1992, the average American girl owned.scve ~l.'\\'ll-!\tones 1:-. an awl ul lot of !\t:ur:-. to l'limh. \Vhcn the L' lcva­ tcmH! nb would frequently l:over m y li ving room Barbies. tor ':-. hrokcn. 1t'!) a real dt~ incc ntJV \' IO\\ard lcavmg the house. ll oor o n any given afternoon. Life didn't get any het­ "Hello·>" tcr than that. -If Barbie were human sized, she wo uld stand 5 "Hello. is this Sam Wa lters·>" Li1. and I had the latest and best in Barhie para­ foot 6 inches tall, weigh II 0 po unds, and have a 39 "Maybe... .. phernalia. Li1. had the Barhic camper and I had the inch bust, 18 inch waist and 33 inch hips. "Mnlll ... well. th is is Professor Gookman ... Barbie ai rplane. We both had several Barbie dolls Recently. Mattei has made some more changes to "Should I know that name·>" and alway' shared Barbie clothes. Being the creati ve Barboe . Her bust and nose are smaller, waist is thick­ "Perhaps not. Yo u haven't heen to das' '" over a one. I used to take my Dad's empty Salem cigarette er and hips are slimmer. Apparently. these changes month." hoxc. and eons1ruct sofas from them for my Barbie were_ made in response to criticism that previous "Profes.or. I have n' t hecn out of my rohc in over a family. I thought that was the coolest. Barboes had an unrealistic shape and set the wrong mo nth. The elevator's broken ... I loved Barbie and everything about her. "Playing ideal for many girls. "Can't you take the stairs''" Barhics" allowed my friends and I to enter a world of You bet it was an unrealistic shape! But that's " What. up a n d down'!'" pure. fantasy and end less escape. O n some days what· Barbie was all about- leaving behind your The elevator heing broken also make' taking out the garhage a Barhoe and Ken would he married, live in a huge world as a I 0-year-old little girl for a world filled ..: hallcngc requiri ng the application of con"dcrable prohlcm solv­ luH"e and have a perfect daughter. played by the with adult-like whims and fancies. It is only in this mg skolls. Unfortunately. my ; ix roomrnat" and I arc lacking a Dawn doll. The next day 13arbic would be a cheer­ world. where Barbie looks perfect, has the perfect good deal of the bram ..:ell> we were horn with. let alone any prob­ leader. Ken would he the quarterhack of the high hoyfriend and lives in the perfect house. Reality lem >olvmg >ko lls. Instead. we u>ually ju't get loaded together ­ 'd""'l football team and Skipper would play the role bites- that's why Liz and I played Barbies for hours "hraonstorming"- and do the fir>t >tupod thing that come' into of Barhie's snotty sister. Barhic and Ken would go o n end in my li ving room. our heads. Most recently thi> wa' lohhing garhagc oiT the fire ­ on all these great date~ in Ken's cool car. Making If Mattei wants realistic. then perhaps an acne-rid­ c"ape onto a dump>ter 'evcn->torie' he low. At the very lca,t. thi, dolls koss hrought on lots of giggles. yet it was seri­ den Barbie should be created. She could have stringy hair. a fat sto mach and a saggy butt. Ken could be <.ll.'plays a ~cnou~ . • gnora m.: c of basu.: physics. T he one h;~g - o ut ous hus1ness. That's how intense we were about the of 'evcntecn I heheve- that landed in the dump,ter erupted in a pretend world we created. For a few brief hours, it totally Oabby and maybe somehow they could make da1.1.ling. o~c-time fountai n of garhagc, whoch's pieces fell every­ was all very real to us. No one gut in our way- not him smell really had. After all , there are dolls that where for lofty feet. Never mind 1he liN two hag' that hit and even our older hrothers. cat, grow hair, talk and go to the bathroom. Why not huN all over the >~xth fl oor fi rc-e,cape or the one , u ll dangling Part of the appeal was 13arhoe 's glamour. She was create some good, old fashio ned body odor? precanou;ly from the drain-pipe. ,(eek :md ' lender with full lip,, hig breasts, long. As an adult whose playtime is limited these days, There i' abo the inadvertent. unwante

Want the inside scoop on the Cable programs produced here at Latinos United Now in the Columbia? Arts/L. U .N .A. Invites you to come and hear Come out and show your support for these fine Congressman Luis Gutierrez speak about programs: 600 ·south, Music Alive, Hungry Hearts "United for our Future," a registration and Columbia College Electronic Newsletter. and empowerment drive. The event will be held on Dec. 9 in the . Premiere Night Faculty Lounge on the 11th Floor of the 7:00PM, 600'S. Michigan Building, 15th Floor. Torco Building at 12:30 PM. Refreshments will be served. This event is open to the public, free of charge and refreshments will be served. Questions? E-mail L.U.N.A. at Be there! luna_tiks @hotmail.com

YOU LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT! Go to Pg.l2 for the Winning Entries to the "Scream 2" Scariest Columbia Scream Contest! SYM PH o ·NY CENTER Student Rush Tickets Just $12.50 Allhc S)mphony Center Box Office after; p.m. ( 12 p.m. for matinees) on !he day of the performance. Thesday Night Chicago Sympho ny Orchestra Concerts: Students just $7.50 Bring your valid studemiD. Subjccl lo availability. One ticket per ID. Hear your favorite classical, jazz, and pop music at the new Symphony Center, the Musical Heart of Chicago.

Call (312) 294·3000 todi!J'for !be llfJCOIIIIIIX collcerl scbed11/el

SYMPHONY CENTER: Tbe .l/usim/1/earl ofCbicago 220 South Mtch•ganAvenue for iKktt mfornuuon nll Phoot<:b;.~n:.~ :11 (3 12) 294-3000or )fop II\ tht ~mphom Cc-nltr Bo'otiKt' I lours \104 !Ill 10 6 'un I I t for group Dtts nil f 31.!) ,!q.t _\().tO \t.,..llht !l\mphon1 !-fort lonttd ont door soulh ol ~mpllon\ Cmttr on \llclupn -"tnut '-tbs!IC' hup Jftnu chtC'1SOSilnphon1 or; Holtdll CJh rtnJIC'11tS nO\\ ~l'llbbft AfttJIJ mulJIIOI'''"'J 11rr Rtbj«t to (M/fgf'

"SCREAM 2" OPENS EVERYWHERE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 12! . . .

I • 'if.

(cflnd w~ n~~a th~ eireu!~tie>n) ·

. ' ~ ' .

* ' I take no comfort in being here now, standing over your dust. The marrow twists in my bones fe.vered, l.onnrP.o

"My Jesus, Mercy" can barely be seen on the stone next to yours. I'm sorry, Mom, but I've . brought no bouquet ofjlowers to leave . behind. They'd only bum in this brutal sun. Like I've been spinning for hours.

(The price is right-everyone's cheering- as that wheel spins and /look for that 100 to come rolling slower and slower it inches close or clicks right on by without a chance of me making the final round).

Like I forgot what brought me here.

(When the bartender walks away I feel alone and have to call her back and talk real slow articulating every consonant that I would on normal days slur together). 0 e c e 11 b e r 1 • 1 9 9 :4:;·_ =I• "'p" e c .1 a I "'u" p p I e m e n l 1! Showcase MY MISTRESS It has continued to be one 1 of the Chronicle's goals to , publish work from Columbia ·1 Yo let the truth be known that the hip hop is my mistress, make love to her yo I had to students, on a regular basis. . This supplement reaffirms our; because I couldn't resist it , when together the ground from under we uplifted, never doubted '. efforts in continuing to fulfill . baby was gifted feelings at point of release never contradicted, 18 years .ago I fell into her flow ' that goal. and became addicted and still to this day I haven't come down from the high by her mere pres­ This supplement showcases 1 ence she inflicted, taught me to speak my mind so never was the conversation restricted to one . works of poetry and personal j thing a product of the ghetto but adored by mainstream Her backround consisted of multi-cultur­ : essays from students and ! other individuals from the 1 al roots so in turn this made more voluptous and rich the fruits that she produced tried to make ! Columbia College community.; her my deuce after first introduced but saw the chances of her settling down were minute born a ; For some of these people, this 1 . is the first time their work has , wild child free spirit so baby had to remain loose, feeling Like a guardian from his angel cut ! been published. loose I knew I had to regroup when suddenly she realized the truth back tracked and out the I chaos gave me a boost so second time around I held her like a noose tight from the third eye now ! We are proud that they took never out of sight despite all the strife we made amends and once again set it right the beat and : time out to submit their work I ; for this supplement. While we the rhyme united as one so may are children born from this unity shine Like the sun.. . j weren't able to inculde all of i the submissions, additional I : opportunities for students, as 1· : well as other Columbia staff ---Marvin L Glasper : members will be avaliable in II : the near future. ! Special Section Editor! James Boozerj Faculty Advisor: Jim Sulski! Lottery Ti.ck~ t. Cover photo by ~ My friend Je'annie felt that it ' White! Natalie Battaglia, Laid out on straw in a back alley was time 1 get out and date. sat bolt I "You've been divorced for two Potato garage below rafters that cradle the years," she kept telling me. You brushed nests ofpige ons above the crawl­ need to be with some men. It's ran my space of a wiry old rat. · unnatllral." "You sound like bair, CI'Q!;$e(l~my pecial upplemenl §j=J Q"LLie~ Ce>~e>~iJ1g U\ J

I've been wnllng graffiti for three There before us in the silence stood events in my life. Basically, the message was to put years now. Though I've only been ded­ two deer. They saw us and ran. We all I forgot about the possibility that your heart into your work; make it a icated to th art form for a short amount looked at each other but said nothing someone may have called the cops on passion. And next to the word "heart" he of time, I'd already had my share of and continued to walk. We had been us; I even forgot that I was with Mike painted a gigantic human heart with all jumping fences, being chased, hitting walking for about a half an hour when and Dave. There was just me and my the veins popping out and wrapping freight cars, and believe it or not, paint­ Mike slopped and jumped down off a piece. some of the leiters. ing without any disturbances. rock and said, "Here it is." It was about twenty-five feet long, He appeared to have an old school I don't want to exaggerate though; Though we were directly under I-80 multicolored; lights and darks. Light style (a style similar to that seen in the and make it seem like I' m some kind of (the expressway), the view looked like grey to spruce green, to nat black, to early eighties); big readable leiters and a action adventure thrill seeker. It's quite you were standing at the top of a hill. autumn gold. Long eliptic shapes set up picture to go along with his theme. His the contrary. Actually, we were; it was a huge slanted so the colors would contrast well. piece didn' t show the best can control , That's why for the past two years hill of concrete about thirty yards long It almost reminded me of a stained but I know he'll develop it. Mike 's a I've stuck to mostly doing legal walls. and about fifty yards wide. glass window. In an abstract form it read dedicated person to hip-hop culture. Gaffiti art itself is quite a form of Down in front of us were a couple of "JQ." It was an abbreviation of the word He's originally an MC and a produc­ expression; at the same time, you could concrete walls with pillars on top of "JWOQ" Uay-walk). JWOQ was the er. And after hearing some of what he's probably say that " where you put your them that were supporting the express­ alias I had chosen to use to be recog­ done, it was obvious to me that he loved graffiti" is also a form of expression. way. Behind the pillars, a small creek nized by my work. Obviously an alias is to make music. Location is very important because ran through about fifteen yards wide; necessary in this art form in order not to I also mel Mike earlier this year its like painting the background of a the water green and dirty. be publicly recognized (due to the fact when I ran into Jay, an old high school landscape; it sets the tone and creates And behind the creek, another set of that a Jot of graffini is illegal). buddy who turned out to be a partner of part of the feeling. Having learned this pillars. I sat down for a minute to And of course like most writers, Mike's in their effort to produce their through past experiences is what led me observe my surroundings before I start­ there's an underlying meaning behind it. own music and someday gel signed to a to take part in today's adventure. ed to paint. In the middle of nature the It represents a metaphorical comparison record label. I ho nestly think they'll get I parked my car in the parking lot of concrete wall was a symbol of civiliza- between jay-walking across the street signed someday.

a small playground, opened the trunk, tion, yet just silting there looking and the way I work as an artist. I don't care what anybody says about and gave both Mike and Dave a crate of around, it was visible that no one Jay-walking is simply taking a differ­ white kids who can't rap; these guys my paint to carry. It was about 65 seemed to come down here very often. ent route to get to the same place as have te n times more skill than the degrees farenheit that morning; a little The only other sign of life was some everyone else. It's quite similar to the Beastie Boys ever did (lyrically) and bit cooler than what we had been used old faded graffiti that couldn't be read way I view graffiti. I use different medi­ they don't use funny voices or try to "be to, being that summe~ was already over. anymore that apparently Mike had done ums and express myself in different black" as in Vanilla Ice's case. Dave and I followed Mike because he a long time ago. The atmosphere was ways, but I still want to get to the same But nonetheless, Mike is an artist at was the only one who knew exactly quite relaxing despite the sound of cars place as other artists; such as develop­ heart and thus is probably where he got where we were' goin'g. We began to walk and trailer trucks passillg overhead. ing my skill. and exposin g myself. I the idea for his piece today. Since what through a small wooded area behind It was slightly dark, (due to the fact have the same goal, but I'm j ust taking a Mike and Dave were working on was some houses as the rain began to come we were underneath an eight-lane high­ different path. much simpler than my piece, they both down a lillie harder. way), but there was still enough light to As for David, otherwise known as finished before me. We came upon some railroad tracks see. Just standing there breathing the "FLEX," (as in "flexing his technique" I noticed them sitting at the top of and began to follow them heading south. fresh air in a place where no one could or "showing hi s style") he had decided the hill talking and watching me as I Through the wind blowing in our faces, find us made me feel like a navigator, to paint to the right of me. His piece was continued. Being more experienced, I being able to see the horizon line ahead exploring and claiming my territory. about half the length of mine and only knew that they were observing, trying to of us seemed to make the walk take People were traveling directly above consisted of two colors. Jearn something; maybe how to fade longer but I didn't complain. In fact, no us; maybe across the country, or just on He said he was on a tight budget so colors, do a fi nal outline, or just any one complained. their way home from work. Wherever he couldn't buy a lot of colors. The let­ basic can control. We were dedicated artists, we came they were heading, I bet not even one of ters were white with a red outline; inter­ After about four hours of painting I here for a purpose, and we were going to them had ever stopped to come down twining between each other with sharp finished my piece and on my "'!ay to join paint today, no matter what type o f here. pointed edges. Definitely a new school them at the top of the hill, I took a pic­ weather was thrown at us. After about After carefully walking down the style (contemporary graffiti). ture to remember the moment. fifteen minutes of walking, my arms concrete hill, I didn't waste any time I j ust met David earlier this year in When I got to the top, we talked began to cramp up from carrying the starting. I popped open the bucket of an art show at South Suburban College. about what we had done, what we wish crate full of aerosol cans. grey, grabbed my roller, and started We both had some of our artwork show­ we had done, and just basically cri­ At the same time, I realized that it painting one of the walls. After the ing and were the onl y two out of about tiqued eaGh others work. It felt so good was possible that someone in the houses entire thing had a base coat of grey, we two-hundered who had submitted graffi­ to sit back and look at what I had done. we passed. may have seen us and called all grabbed our cans and began to start ti pieces. I made sure that I got his There were no words to describe the the cops. But I knew it was just that our outlines. phone number because I knew writers in way I felt inside; to look and see that I paranoia kicking in. With every step I Though we all moved at different the suburbs were extremely scarce. had created something beautiful gave took, the steel marble in the cans would paces and had different styles, we all Not until last week (seven months me a great sense of pride. I felt like I rattle. seemed to vi be off the atmosphere. The later) had we hooked up to go painting. was valuable for accomplishing such a None of this bothered me though, sound of traffic, the water dripping from He had taken me to a wall that he knew task. but I did feel bad for Mike and Dave the steel beams above us seemed to of in the city. And today I was bringing I felt so proud of myself, that I want­ because they were both carrying a crate soothe our souls like the way fine artists him to a wall out here in the suburbs. ed to go and bring my mom and dad to of my paint as well. relax while listening to Mozart. I definitely plan on keeping in touch show them what I colored. But I knew But they didn' t complain either; and Just standing in the mud with the with him because he's the first person that could never be done. I knew why. It was because we all had scent of the creekwater and the paint I've seen in a long time that's from the My parents would probably be more the same goal set for today, we all want­ fumes in the air was enough to hypno­ south suburbs and actually has some ashamed of me than proud of me. But at ed to achieve the same thing, and we all tize me as I painted. skill. least I could share the feeling with Mike wanted to do it together. I paused every few minutes to think On the right side of Dave, Mike was and Dave. Besides, it wasn' t that often that we about the next step; which color goes doing his thing. He wouldn't regularly After all, that's what made us all got to walk through a forest, even if it nice next to the baby blue, and if the call himself a graffiti writer because fri ends; the bond that we had with paint­ was in the rain. light blues and the dark blues were bal­ he's fairly new to the scene (as far as ing. To celebrate the occasion, Mike After about a mile and a half through anced throughout my composition. painting himself). opened a pack of Black and Milds, and the mud and rain, we strayed off from It seemed as if time no longer exist­ I looked over to sec what he was we puffed away in silence as we took the railroad tracks and onto a faint trail ed. Nothing existed. Nothing mallered. doing and in big bulky orange leiters one last look before we packed up and through an open field. As we began to During the entire time we painted, no read the word "heart." I knew this was­ started to head back to the car. enter another wooded area we, suddenly one spoke. I lost all conciousness of n't the name he went by, but just ames­ stopped in our tracks. people, places, and other significant sage for anyone who saw it.

Brother what R U runnin' from ? Runnin 'from police, Runnin 'from woman 2 runnin 'frol]l problems, · woman. Runnin 'from ladies Runnin 'from power. Keep on runnin ', runnin' runnin' from solutions 2 U laid. Runnin 'from babies Runnin 'from truth. With all man and when U get through. problems. U made. Runnin 'from debt this runnin 'from others, I bet Maybe you'll bump into the unpaid. Runnin 'from people U really B runnin 'from U. thing U R runnin' 2. Runninfrom silent screams U played. and muted hollers. Runnin' When the sun rises U B Runnin 'from your race, job 2 job looking 4 some runnin' 2 the shade. religion, region and reason. ----Billy Montgomery twenty porno is pronounced like the French say yes, like bench in garage, reading Hustlen borrowed from expected, Judy pim:hed Marpret's kMe under , rounding her lips and just pushing it out. the bottom drawer of his bedside table and books like table and got herself invited over. Mllpl'd lived ill Until then, she always sounded the two-syllable E~pensive Sins that she shoplifted from the local bo~y studio. call "ooo-wee" in her mind like a milkmaid in drugstore. The walls were lined with shelves draped witb overall-shorts perched on a haystack, filling a Pornography is not something you read at the din­ enonnous doll collection that she'd kept, with the or two of television air time with her pretty ner table, or on the subway during rush hour, or in of overindulgent aunts and grandmothers, since the ne~ t more sophisticated joke. your employer's lunchroom. hood. twe nty two, she started thinking maybe she right You read porno mags like Judy, tucked away in a After plenty of kisses and dry feels pressed first assumption. closet, squishing your eyes and adjusting the distance against the stove in the narrow alley of a kitchen, a copy of Oui on her lap, opened like a dip­ of the page in order to see, or in bed at night, alone, and Margaret made sloppy love on Margaret's unfolded for private devotion, Judy smoked in holding in your breath , working for absolute and total bed, under thin, frilly pink sheets she'd slept under loset as if drinki ng a gallon of water after a fam­ silence, so your roommate or your boyfriend or your her days. bag of Fritos. brother won't hear your moanings and your writhings They rolled and kissed and groped under the sucked and gurgled on her cigarette, one thick and the shufning of sheets caused by your hand ful glass and plastic eyes of rows and rows of after another. The smoke fi lled the pockets and jammed down into your panties, down in places that raggedy, ceramic, naked and smooth, dressed in of her clothes, waft ing up armholes, noating up you shouldn 't even think about. petticoats, plugs of real hair, painted tresses, •a cotton opening where her body might slip later, If your wardrobe ever consisted solely of plaid, dumpy, painted cherry c heeks and penciled 'roll ing under collars and shi rt seams. riding the valleys pleated ski rts, white blouses and knee socks, and navy stitched eyebrows-all the dolls and all their of her corduroy jackets. cardigan sweaters. stared and studied the breathy fumblings of Judy She had crunched herself against a bookcase that Too bad that in moments like these, right before the night. · she had moved a thousand ti mes. but its painted white glori ous payoff. your thoughts often wander to your In the morning, Judy awoke early and dressed hoards always ended up jammed in the hack of a clos­ parents, and all that sexual desire and thrill becomes the dusty fi rst rose of the day's first light, et in every place she had ever lived. inextricably tied up with home and mother and shame waking Margaret. Only the dolls sat dumbly There never see med to be enough room for all of resulting in a glorious pleasure found only alone and along the wall s and gaped at her with all their her things-wonder she didn 't leave half of them in rarely duplicated when someone else in the room. and pursed. Judy left. And she ne ver the alleyway cverytime she moved. "My eyes arc fi ne, rna. It's my sensibilities you Margaret again. . This particular item of furnit ure always ended up a shoulda been worried about." But one of those things nestled in one of the :repository. for all those things that she's lugged fro m Judy tugged at the heel of an ancient shiny-pink bo~es on the painted white, wooden bookshelf was move to move without knowing why she can't bring slipper she'd had since high school. Only the right one tiny red leather shoe from one of Margaret's dolls. herself to leave them in a hall closet for the new ten­ still had its heel. the other nopped and nipped its loose had somehow fallen among Judy's things and . ants to fi nd in each o f her old apartments. way around Judy's unshowcred and depressed hours. from a bag a few days after that one and only Favorite books from childhood (Judy Blume novels She squi nted at a tennis ball-breasted woman with with Margaret. and vi ntage Playboy magazines). love notes on note­ bleached hair sprawled out naked, face-up on top of Judy had been searching for a pencil to take book paper (with one side frizzy) from high 'chool another fa ce-up woman (this one with blonde roots phone message, when she dumped the contents of ti ed up with white first-aid tape. and old clothes that and a blue-black dye job). The woman on the bottom bag onto a tile kitchen fl oor at an address long she once paid a fortune for-suede mini-skirts and was reaching and contorting the muscles of her neck ten, and the small stitched shoe with a black satin . plaid neon stirrup pants. and tongue. desperately trying to lick the tennis balls bon closure fell to the n oor wi th the confetti of old· She sucked in a stream of smoke and swallowed of the woman on top. ATM receipts and si~ different ki nds of lip balm. · some of it by mistake until it caught like a chicken " I wonder 1f my mother ever kissed a woman." As soon as she was off the phone, she took the bone in the hack of her throat. and she coughed it back Judy ki ssed a woman once. during her brief attempt to the depths of her closet, opened one of the up. nt higher learning. The woman's name was Margaret. boxes of old letters and dropped it in, replacing the She read in her close t. a new hah1t. a new routine Judy never knew her la' a v. ood worn booth women's arms and the shine of the stretched-tight skini safel y ; toreu in a 'outhcrn ret irement v1ll agc. tucked a vailable hy the v.mdov. . where 'he knew evcryunc in of the two women's calves. · away with a golf w u"c for dau anu lemonade wi th her the h:mu. She'd t1p the hartcnJcr wi ldly and get " I wonder if they ever played softball." girlfriends every Wcdne, day afternoon. Marg"rct drunk on 'weet dnnks 111 dramatic glasses. Judy turned the page. Oblivious nuw a' she was hack in colder climate' And alter one ol the'c waterlogged n1ghts at a bar

got worse. Tyrone/Barry said. "Baby. I don't mi ned to 'cc to take the bus or the cl. " I looked up at the ceil­ with any old dog. wouldn't you''" To my sur­ ing. Why me, Lord'' Why me'' I knew better pmc. she didn ' t deny 11. "Yes," she matter of than to a,k, but ! couldn't resist it. "So. how do factly replied. "You need to get out. and sec you get to work?" " I get a ride everyday," he and be around some men ." " But Jeannie. drawled. By thi; time I was approac hing a ; tate sweetheart. you arc forgcttmg one very impor­ of mild shock. I was hearing him, hut I really tant minor detail. He doc,n't want to go out!". wasn't hearing him. This wasn' t happening to She still felt ju;tified. " Well. you still need to me. "Ok," I said. be around some men." she said. She was " Do you know where the bus stop is'! I beginning to make me sound like some desper­ could tell you. I'm very familiar wi th the CTA ate charity case. "Don't matter if he's a hum routes. I' m what they call a veteran." But my off the strect,just as long as he's a man and he's man was still skeptical. He wasn't buying it. got all the important parts. huh?" I asked her. " Well, baby. I don't know. Let me think about She sucked her teeth. " You know what I it. Can I call you back''" I made a mental note mean", she said. "You need some male com­ to call Jeannie up and cu's her out. Hell, she panionship. And don't get mad. but you could deserved a good aS\ kicking. After all, it was probably u'c some 'ex too. After all. at your her fault, not his. She knew what kmd of man age, you arc in your sexual prime." Yeah, I he was before she gave out my damn number. thought. My hormones try to remind me every Why should I be mad at him? It was her who day, hut I do good joh in ig noring them. Now, got me into this mcS\. So I sa1d. "Sure, you can I might not he so successful in ignoring thi s call me back." tcifer. She always has been very persistent. I So, when I called up Jean me and cussed her decided to appease her. "Ok, so what would out, her rc;ponse wa,, "Oh. he doesn' t know you have me do?," I asked. It was as if shq was any better. That's what he's used to." waiting for me to say that. "Let him come " What!?." I •aid. " No," she said. " It 's true. ovcr1," she said. " It 's your apartment and you That's what he doc~ . He really doesn't know can control what h<~ ppens . I don't think he 'd try anyt hing about dating. He just honks up with anything. He knows Doc would ki ll him if he women, an

By Linda C. Black plans for the future more easily then. Finish Tribune Media Service up that task by Friday morning. Looks like you've got a hectic weekend. T he creative . ~he Sagittar_ius sun brings joy and conge­ work you do now will be much appreciated mahty to a ll th 1s week. T hat's imponant to later. remember on Monday and Tuesday, when the Capncorn moon pl aces restric tions on many. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Study hard on A sense of humor wi ll be your saving grace. Monday and Tuesday. The skills you' re It's what both signs have in common. learning could lead to an increase in income. Wednesday is a mixed bag of serious and Plan ahead on Wednesday to solve a problem fri volous topics. T he light-heaned among you at home. Thursday and Friday are best for will fare best on the test. Scientists and making plans with roommates. Share the philosophers have a heyday Thursday and workload and you' ll have more time for cre­ Friday. If you can't understand the question ati vity. Meet with your sweetheart over the mathe matically, take a leap of faith. Your weekend. This may be your last c hance for odds of picking the right answer are hi ~h . privacy for quite a while. If you can't afford Over the weekend, confusion reigns. It II be an exr>ensive gift, that's OK. Between the almost impossible to stick to an agenda so two of you, it really is the thought that don't even bother. Be creative instead, ~n d counts. you' ll be much more successful. . Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Money's Aries (March 21-April 19). t1ght on Monday and Tuesday, especially if Responsibilities clash with your trave l pl ans you say so. Don't let anybody talk you out of on Monday and Tuesday. By Wednesday. your hard-won resources. Spend on education you'll stan finding ways to break free. Y~ur on Wednesday, so you can practice new skills friends demand most of your attention on Thursday and Friday. Be serious about learn­ Thursday and Friday. Don't forget an assign­ ing then. You' ll need to know this informa­ ·ment that must be turned in by then. If you tion soon. Stay home over the weeke nd. mess up on this one, you might be grounded Somebody wants your attention and your cre­ over the weekend. Do your best to avoid that ative energy. Together, you' ll come up with a dismal prospect. marvelous 1dea. Taurus (Aprii20-May 20). You' re doing Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You' re very well on Monday and Tuesday, consider­ supe r-effic ient on Monday and Tuesday, with ing the handicap you' re unde r. Finish up a the moon in your sign. Push yourself to finish tough JOb Wednesday morning, while you an old job quickly. Slick maneuvering on stilf have the ad vantage. Tests on Thursday Wednesday leads to an increase in income. and Friday will be horrendous. Make sure Your experience, plus the advice of loved you 've done the homework be fore then. ones, comes in handy on Thursday and Saturday and Sunday are excellent for gather­ Friday. Consult with a couple who have your ing with friends. Keep travel to a minimum best interests at hean . Neighbors bring g1fts on Sunday, howe ver. over the weekend. That's also an excellent time for a block pan y. Hand out all the good­ Gemini (May 21-Junc 21). Pool resources ies you've prepared, too. with a friend to get what you want on Monday and Tuesday. The same goes for Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You' re under travel on Wednesday. Togethe r, you can get a bit of pressure Monday and Tuesday, but there. Study your favorite foreign language your fnends he lp you out. Let them know w1th a native speake r on Thursday and what you need and they'll come up with Friday. You' ll learn something very interest­ amazmg 1deas. Wednesday morning is tough, ing. Heed an older person's advice over the but you get stronger by that afternoon. Put weekend, to improve your living conditions. off your tough decisions until then. Thursday and Friday, you' re on a roll. Stan new l?ro­ Cancer June 22-July 22). Your workload jects as quickly as possible. Team activ1ties is intense all this week, but a partner he lps go especmlly well. F ini sh up rour shopping out on Monday and Tuesday. Don' t get into on Saturday and Sunday. You II have good an argument. It' ll onl y waste time. Pool your mtUitiOn when 1t comes to buying gifts. resources on Wednesday, to get something you both want badly. Fmd a source of new Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). You and your funding on Thursday or Friday. Research friends can outwit an older person on may be required. Travel looks good over the Monday or Tuesday. Don't be too obvious weekend. about iL Wednesday morning is great, but the plot th1ckens by th at afternoon. You may dis­ Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Although your cover work you' ve forgotten to tum in almost attitude is good, the workload is horrendous too late. Hustle to complete past assignments Monday and Tuesday. Don't complain. Just on Thursday and Friday. You are under stress, get it done. Tackle a tough assignment but not to worry. By the weekend it ' ll all be Wednesday morning so you can play with done, and you' ll be looking great. You' ll your mate that evenmg. De legate a technical even withstand an o lder person's criticism. assi~nment to a panner on T hursday and Take it as a joke. . you II do better on the test Friday. Don' t try to do everything all by yourself. Be careful If You' re Having a Birthday This Week with your credit cards over the weekend. ... Born Dec. I : You' re lucky w1th money. If You' II have a tendency to overspend. you study and are aggressive, you ' II gain even more. Dec. 2: Your perseverance pays, Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Make a roman­ literally. Work you've done in the past pro­ tic commitment on M onday or Tuesday. T hat duces bounty. Dec. 3: Careful planning and bond he lps you handle confusion at home this determination show resul ts. You ' re sman week. Fnday morning is romantic, but the aggressive and lucky with money. Dec. 4: evening is nothing but hard work. That theme Focus on education. New skills lead to the prevail s through T hursday and Friday. You career of your dreams. Be bold, yet intelli­ might not have time for much else, so don't gent. Dec. 5: The education you get this year schedule anything. Saturday and Sunday are propels you to success. Take on a challenge. a lot more fun. Let a whimsical panner drag Dec. 6: Changes at home require dec isions. Credit Card fundraisers for fraternities, sororities & groups'. Any you into a fantasy j ust for the fun of it. Don't put up with something that doesn't work. Dec. 7: An uncomfonable situation at o~aniJiation can raise llplO $1.000 by earning a whopping Libra (Sept. 23-0ct. 23). Study intentl y home leads to a better understanding. T he application. on Monday and Thesday so you can solve a problem becomes your motivation to make 1-~:W-93<2-<>52~ :xt65.Qualified caners receive problem at home by yourself. You' ll be so c hanges. !>fOUd once you 've got it. Wednesday and Thursday are good for making romantic deci­ (c) /997 Tribune Media Service served. sions. You and your sweethean can fi nalize 10 FEATURES December I. l'J'J7

35. Feelings? What feelings? you have been proven wrong, blame others. Come 36. Tell this to your girl before up with creative and believable excuses why they you have sex, "Don't worry. If are at fault-not you. you don't have an orgasm, you 73. Don't ever let anyone say "I told you so." If won't get pregnant." you hear this phrase and it didn't come out of your 37. Life is one big competi- mouth, go ballistic. tion. If someone is better than 74. If your woman makes you go shopping with you at anything, ether pretend it's her, drive around until a parking spot right near not true or kick some ass. the door opens up. If this takes hours, so be it. You 38. Lie I tell you!! will have the coveted "door spot" and others will 39. DO NOT make decisions worship your skills. about relationships. If you are 75. Keep track of how many seconds in your backeo into a comer and must life you have thought about sex. Compare with This li st came to me from "B"rian Alexander make a decision, stall. If you still others. Young. I don't know who he is, but this is his list must come up with an answer, leave yourself a 76. Other people's pain is strictly for your of "Rules for being a man ( I 00 ways to keep your loophole for escape. Example question: "Honey, amusement. Laugh long and loud. testosterone flowing)." I wanted to use just the will you take me out for a romantic dinner?" 77. Lie. best 50, but most of these "rules" are pretty funny. Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm 78. General Rule: Different is BAD. Enjoy! I produce each day." 79. If anyone asks you for a favor, a) make a 40. Every sentence that anyone says can be big deal about how hard it is for you to do it, b) I. Don't call. contorted to have sexual meaning. Do so. remind them of this huge favor you've done for 2. If you don't like a girl, don' t tell her. It's 41 . At any given opportunity, point out how them at least every five minutes for the rest of more fun to let her figure it out by herself. things look like various genitalia. If, by chance, their life. 3. Lie. you have Play-Doh, make sure you make an exact 80. Each penny you save will be worth at least 4. Name your penis. Be sure it's something nar­ replica of your penis. Measure to make sure it's a dollar in the long run. cissistic and unoriginal, such as "spike." right. 81. If you do something really mean to a girl 5. If you lose something that belongs to some- 42. Lie. and she doesn' t want to talk to you, pretend noth- one else, tell them you mailed it to them. • 43. "Love" is not in your vocabulary. Don't ing happened. If she still doesn't talk to you, casu- 6. Here's a good pick-up line, "My girlfriend's even think about saying it. ally ask, "Is something wrong?" pregnant, will you go out with me?'' 44. A general rule: If whatev.er you're .doing 82. Three words: "Let's be friends." 7. Drink Vemors. does not satisfy you completely in five minutes, Translation: I never want to speak to you again, 8. Play with yourself. Talk about it: it's really not worth it. but it's bad for my nice-guy image if you are mad 9. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't 45. Diss your girlfriend. Beg and plead until at me, so I'll pretend I want to be your friend. want to answer, a nice grunt will do. you get her back. Diss her again. Repeat cycle. 83. Lie. I 0. Always remember: You are a man. 46. Lie. 84. If you're on a date and there is a lull in the Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault. 47. ALWAYS apologize. NEVER mean it. conversation, tell the girl how many different II. Lie. 48. If you hurt someone, pretend you don't dorms you' ve been laii:l in. 12. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more care. Don't. 85. When you tell a girl about your past, it's women than baths. 49. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if good to say, "God, I was such a pimp back then. 13. Never ask for help. Even if you really, real­ you forget trivial things. You know, like your girl- 86. Here's a good trick. Tell a girl that you're ly need help--don't ask. People will think you friend's birthday and eye color. going to leave and when you come back you want have no penis. 50. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see her naked, sprawled out on the bed. Leave and go 14. Women like it when you ignore them. It them, they can't see you. into her dad's room and tell him he should go arouses them. 51. It is never your duty to take responsibility check on his daughter. Then drive like bell. (Tru~ . 15 . Vanity is the most important trait for a man for your actions. story) to have. Whenever you pass a reflective surface, 52. Create new words and phrases to describe 87. If a girl breaks up with you because you're check you hair, clothing, etc. genitalia, sex, semen, etc. · in love with someone else, she bas no right to be 16. If you don't like a girl, but can't think of a 53. Complain about not getting any mail. When upset. Because, you know, SHE's the one who good enough reason why, just come up with trite, people FINALLY feel sorry for you and send you wanted to end the relationship. meaningless explanations like, "I don't know. I mail, ignore it and continue complaining. 88. The best sex position is you, lying face just don' t like her personality." 54. Lie. up ... and twenty girls on top. 17. If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl 55. Play with your food only if you are in a 89. Practice your blank stares. on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and public place with people you don't know. 90. Spend your spare time thinking of excuses noises. Bodily noises are permissible. 56. Play with your penis only if you are in a and shove them up your ass. Then, whenever you 18. Two words: Hack and spit. public place with people you don' t know. need one, you can just pull one out of your ass. 19. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he 57. If people express extreme disgust at what- 91. If you' re ever forced to show emotion, just can write his name in urine. ever you are doing, DO~ ' T STOP! pick random emotions like rage, lust and insanity 20. One sure way to make a girl like you is to 58. You are NOT a vargm . Ever. Males are born . and display them at random inconvenient times. go after her best friend . She will then see what without virginity. You won't be asked to do it again. she's missing and love you for not giving up on 59. You are male, therefore, you are superior. 92. If you are asked to do something you her. 60. Agenda for a boring evening: Get beer. REALLY DON'T want to do, first try your manly 2 1. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to Drank beer. Play with yourself. Have sex. Drink best to get out of it. If that doesn' t work, go ahead rule# I. more beer. Pass out. and do what you were asked to do, but complain 22. Say things like, "Wha ... ?" 6 1. Females do not care what you do to them as that you don't know how to do it and continuous- 23. Don't wear matching clothes. People will long as they get to please you. ly ask questions on how to do each little part. If no think your girlfriend picked it out and it will 62. Don' t ever notice anything. one rushes in to do it for you, finish the job in the cramp your style on picking up chicks. 63. If you' re going out with someone, but you most half-assed way you possibly can, then say, 24. Lie. love someone else, don' t say anything. Wait until "SEE?? I TOLD you I couldn't do it." Eventually, 25. Deny everything. Everything. the girl you' re going out with falls in love with people will stop asking you to do things. 26. Good break up line, "It 's not you, it's me." YOU and then tell her. 93. Work out day and night and make your 27. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends 64. Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity body even more beautiful than it already is. When about her. Because if any of your female friends not quahty. people ask if you've been working out, say things like you, they'll really want to know. 65. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity not like, "No baby, I was BORN like this!" 28. Don't have a clue. qualuy. . 94. Do not listen to "pussy music" such as 29. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and 66. Lae. Erasure, Color Me Badd, or oldies. disregard it. 67. If you cheat on a girl, but no one finds out, 95. Beer. Then more beer. 30. No means yes. then technically you've done noth ing wrong. 96. Scratch your balls. See if you can embarrass 31. Yes means no. 68. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are people. 32. If you don' t get ~ex, your balls wi ll shrivel. a man, what do you have to cry about anyway? 97. One word: FOOTBALL ! Enforce this ru le at all ti mes. 69. If the questi on begins with "why," the 98. Real men beat up others who are inferior. I 33. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all pos­ answer is "I don't know." mean, we don't want the inferior of the species to ~ible positions and locations. Improvise. 70. Woman are napkins. Use them, and throw get to reproduce ever, do we?? 34. Much like an o rgasm signi fies the end of a them away. · 99. Diss your g irlfriends for an occasional night sexual peak, sex often signifies the end of a rela­ 7 1. Remember, every virgin g irl is saving her- for fi ve out with "the Gang." tionship. self for YOU. 100. Lie. 72. If you ever find yourself in a position where December 1, 1997 FEATURES 11 Grand Prize winners:

I. Erica Faye Watson--The scariest scream I had at Columbia College was when I bad been in the Hokin chillin' looking at all the cute boys, I left. But I had forgotten my I.D. I tried to get back in the hokin and the snaggle-tooth security guard wouldn't let me back in without my I.D. I saw his teeth, or lack thereof...and SCREAMED!

2 Chris Richert--The scariest scream I had at Columbia College was when I went to a class where there were no people who had body piercings or neon hair.

3.Michael Kammes--The scariest scream I had at Columbia College was when I was exposed indecently to the indecently exposed naked man in the Torco building.

Remaining winners of a free pass (admit 2) for Scream 2.:

4.Jon Gilbert 8.De' Anna Williams

5.Kalon D. Capers 9.0rlene Baguisa

6.Tasha Lynette Clopton IO.Patty Pan

7. Sabrina Alexander Congrats to all the winners!

14 FEATURES December 1, 1997

Chicago artists/painters Ian Sherer and Angela lnzinga arc ex hibiting their talents and giVIng the worl d an opportunity to sec life through their eyes this month at Cafe Voltaire, 3231 N. Clark. The two artists each have their own unique They choose a new artist every month and change style. Though they arc on the opposite ends of the the artwork on the first. Paintings, photography spectrum, their paintings decorate the walls of the and even sculptures are among the artwork they cafe/bar wi th pure eloquence. The cxhtbltJOn of look for. "If people are interested in showing, then their paintings opened Nov. 14 and wi ll continue they should come in here, leave their number or through early December. Pai ntings arc for sale get mine and we'll set up a time to review their and range in price work," said Krysti Merritt, Cafe Voltaire art direc- from $200 to $500. tor. According to Merritt, photography sells the "This is my first show fastest but a painter will also usually sell at least ever." said Sherer in one of his/her works. an interview Friday Artists who cannot come in person are encour- night as he watched aged to send slides of their work along with the critics gather around dimensions written down and a place of where hi s paintings. ''I'm they can be reached. "There is no commission excited. nothing like taken, it's a free space," added Merritt. thi s has happened to As far as words of wisdom to future artists, me before." Sherer. Sherer encourages people to keep working. "Keep 23, has been painting painting. do what you like and keep working at it since he was about two because there's going to be a long period 111 your years old . He started life when you're not going to be successful but it with an illustration and doesn't matter. It 's about showing what you are,'' graphic design back- said Sherer. Inzinga. on the other hand, had some­ ground but has now thing a little bit different to say. "Become a regu- moved into free fonn Jar at your local cafe. find out the art director's painting. Describing name and buy her a lot of drinks," she said laugh- his paintings as a cross ingly.

rbea c ltism w c and c n c===::::;;;;------;::::::::;:;;:.:;::;:~:;;:;;;:-----, surrealism. he seeks to express what is in the subcon­ scious mind by dep ic ting objects and events as seen in dreams as well as in real life. "I get my ideas from my life. I paint about subjects that appeal to me-some of which arc societal tensions,'' said Sherer. Angela ln 7.i nga, 23. pai nts wi th a different style than Sherer. In zinga's paintings arc abstrac t images that arc not immediately understood. They force the viewer to take another look to find the hidden treasure. "A lot of my paintings arc based on the Kama Sutra ( an~ ient Hindu hook of love),'' said lnlinga. "They're sexuall y hased, hut really when you read into it , It's about intimacy and love." lnzinga has also hccn painti ng sim:c a very early age annl work si nce they opened nvc yenrs ugn. December I. 1997 ADVERTISEl\IENT 15 ---- .. ~

columbia cares

drop off boxes will be located in the lobbies of. each building

donations will benefit Taproots, Catholic Charities, and Battered Women•s Shelters

Please leave toys unwrapped or specify age and gender

New Toys Only Please.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED:

Toy Wrapping Party Thursday December 11 1:00 - 3:00 pm

-

for-more information and volunteer opportunities sponsored by the Hokin Student Advisory Board please contact the Hokin Center ext. 7696 and the Hokin Center of Columbia College Chicago December 1 - 12, 1997 16 SPORTS l>t·cemht·r I. l'J'J7 Smorgasbord o' Sports Michigan's Road To No.1

with world as it was the team having ers- blue-chip prospects who can one heartbeat." dress up a class-coaches went The players bought into it. after athletes committed to play- Todd s~reders "When you have the world ing for Michigan. against you and the only guys "Michigan recruits student­ who really believe in you are athletes who can succeed in the By Todd Sweders your teammates, the coaches and classroom as well as on the Guest Columnist the staff," senior tailback Chris field," Mayes said. "Coach Can Howard said, "it's easy to get up stresses that. If a guy comes in J've been asked to be a guest columnist this week and who each and every week and go out here and has a bad attitude, he knows if I' II ever be asked to write again. So I thought about what there and play hard." wants us to tell him about it." to write, and came up with a little bit of everything. Knight-Ridder/News Services The odds were against Ability, passion for the game First off I find it very disappointing that some people I know Michigan from the start, with big and respect for the team and, consider the Chicago sports scene - the Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks, The seeds were sown a year question marks on the offensive above all, allegiance to the uni­ White Sox and Cubs- a joke! Chicago also bas the Wolves and is ago, when Brian Griese came off and defensive lines, the kicking versity. getting the Fire soccer team. Both are professional sports teams. the bench and engineered not game and even at quarterback. "Our players let us know if a However, since they're new teams --the Wolves going on 4 years only his team's comeback from Worse, the Wolverines faced guy is a Michigan kid or not," old and the Fire starting next year- they don't belong in the same oblivion, but a personal one as what was widely considered to be Herrmann said. category as those five other teams. well. one of the nation's most difficult On the field, Herrmann bas The funny thing is that the Wolves are one of the better teams in The Michigan Wol verines schedules. transformed the defense into the the city. I know what comes next, the Wolves don't play the same began to believe in themselves Best 6·5 team in the country, nation's best, featuring the kind kind of competition as the others. Who cares? The Wolves players during that remarkable victory at the skeptics said. of aggressive ball-pursuit that are.prof essionals, just like the bther teams. Also, when your team is Ohio State, and Griese began to No way, said the players, who was the hallmark of teams losmg you have to make some excuse up. For instance it's the think he should return for a fifth had something different in mind coached by Bo Schembechler. In owner's fault because he won't shell out the money for the good season in what had been an ordi· starting well before spring prac· recent years, with coordinators players. That leads' me to my next gripe. nary college career. tice. Greg Mattison and Carr before All I bear now when a team loses here in Chicago is it's the But Michigan's wondrous "This team officially started in him, the defenses Were more eon- oymer's .fault. It's never the players wbo arc on the team, it's," we football season goes beyond the January, when we started lifting servative and less successful. dtdn't wm because of whose not on our team." I'm tired of reading story of one man, or a single and running and getting ready for DeBord, who succeeded Fred that McCaskey, Reinsdorf, Wirtz. or the Tribune Company is to beginning. And to understand the I 18th Michigan team," said Jackson, has established a well­ blame for their teams failure. These owners are never recognized how the Wolverines got here· co-captain Eric Mayes, the senior balanced, diversified ball-control when they win. How many times did you hear McCa.~key master· ranked No. I in the nation with a linebacker who has been out with offense designed around Griese's minded the '85 Bears Superbowl XX win? . 10-0 record going into Saturday's a knee injury since Oct. 4. strengths. How many times was Winz commended for putting together the game against Ohio State-we The difference, he suggested, Players have noticed a differ- Blackhawk team that played in the '92 Stanley Cup? should appreciate the journey was chemistry. ent mood among coaches as well, How 'bout Reinsdorf with the Bulls. It's amazing who gets the from a variety of starting points. "We have guys on this team with less emphasis on competi- credit when the team does well, and who receives the blame when This is a resurrection with who honestly enjoy each other's ttveness between offense and they do poorly. Why can't it be the players' fault? Not because they many subplots, from major defense. don't belong on the team, but because they couldn't execute the changes on the coaching .------~ "They're a lot more game plan. There has to be something more to say than it's the staff to vastly improved "We concentrate on aU tbe relaxed," Howard said, "and OWfler's fault when a team is doing terribly. team chemistry, from littl tb• k b a Jot more prepared. Every Third, I have a complaint against those fans who cry about tick­ altered philosophies in e Ings We nOW We ave practice, we go out to have et prices being too high. If you hate the high prices, don't go! No recruiting to the practice to do to succeed." fun. It's not a situation where one is telling you must buy a ticket. Buy them if you want to go. field, from exceeded we feel like we have to kick Here's something those people can relate to. If the bookstore expectations at several each other's butts in order to here at Columbia has high prices for books and you don't like it, are positions to unparalleled --Chris Howard, Senior have a good practice. We you gomg to buy the books? Team management set those high tick· leadership by the seniors. · Tailback concentrate on all the little et prices and they are not going to change them because other peo­ If it all starts with things we know we have to ple are willing to pay those prices to see the game. coaching and the players do to succeed." Here's one way around those high ticket prices. Buy the cheap· say it docs, then begin with Lloyd company," Mayes said. "We have it has created an environment est seats available-usually $15 to S20 for most events. As you Carr. Not only did he shuffie his a lot of the same classes. We go in which young players, especial­ watch the game, look for open seats closer to the floor. Then move deck of assistants - promoting to practice and meetings together. ly linemen, have flourished, tum­ down to those scats. Simple, right? So stop complaining about Jim Herrmann to defensive coor· We go eat and study together. ing preseason concerns into those ttcket pnces. dinator and Mike DeBord to Then we hang out together. We strengths. Each line featured Finally, let me touch briefly on each Chicago team. offensive coordinator - he re· like each other so much. That's three new starters this season. AU Bulls: Right now they do not have Scottie Pippen in the line up, emphasized the fun part of col· where the family started. We face their biggest test Saturday although that hasn't stopped them from putting together a winning lege athletics for his players. Carr have guys who genuinely care for against the No. 4 Buckeyes. record (8-6 as of Nov. 25). The thing to worry about with the Bulls went to great lengths to remove one another." Griese faced his last year at is the amount of minutes being logged by Michael Jordan and the the burden of perceived failure, The fifth-year seniors, such as Columbus. Ohio State was 10-0, other starters. I know MJ said that his conditioning will keep him which at Michigan is anything Griese, center Zach Adami, ranked No.2 in the country, play­ fresh for the playoffs, but he's 34-years-old! less than a championship. defensive end Glen Steele and ing for a possible national cham- In addition, everyone can stop complaining that the Bulls are not Perhaps the single most linebacker Rob Swett, led in a pionship. The Buckeyes led, 9-0, dominating the lcajlUC like they used to. Wake up! It's going to get imponant clement to this season manner that teammates enjoyed late in the second quarter when worse when MJ, Ptppen and Dennis Rodman leave. was how it began in doubt, wtth following. Griese took control of the Bears: Well, they always seem to find a way to lose their games. the team surrounded by skeptics, If that suggests that recent Michigan offense as a replace­ Let's face it, that's what we'll have to live with this year. The calls hovering like buzzards. Michigan Michigan teams were less famil· ment for injured Scott Dreisbach. for Wannstedl to be fired should stop. It's not up to us anyway. The had gone through four straight ial and more cliquish, well, you "At that point, our offense calls for cenam players to be released should stop too; it's also not four-loss seasons, the last two won't find much debate around really hadn't done much," Griese up to us. Most wiMing streaks, games and seasons run in cycles with Carr as head coach. this team. said. "I figured we were only anyway. That means the Bears will be back. Let's hope they make Carr, 52, knowing his own "I am delighted with the atti- down nine points, which is not a the right moves. future was uncertain. turned the tude and work ethic of this foot- lot. But the way their defense was Blackhawks: After a horrible start to the season (0-7), the Hawks doubts into an opponunity by ball team," Carr said. "These playing and the way our offense seem to have turned things around. Now they're 9·13·2 and tied getting his players to adopt an us· kids. they're fun to coach and was playing, it was a Jot." for the finals playoff spot in the Western Conference. The Hawks against-the-world mentality. they're very, very unselfish. Then Griese struck lightning, will probably make the playoffs for the 29th consecutive season. "When everybody out there is That's why we've been able to hitting Tai Streets on a pass over They can't be all that bad. saying you can't play, you can't have the consistency we've the middle, and Streets scam­ White Sox: Who knows? They still don't have a manager and coach, it makes it hard to contin· shown all season. We don 't have percd 69 yards for a touchdown are without a stable catcher. But, there is some hope. Name Carlton ue to believe," Carr said. the internal turmoil. We have just one minute into the second Fisk manager and whoever is going to play ca tcher will benefit But his team never wavered. guys who like each other." half. greatly from his wisdom. "The one thing that Lloyd has All of which might be a direct Newfound confidence. Cubs: Go figure! And that's it. They're trying to decide if it '~ been able to do is create the feel· rcnection on the types of players Renewed belief. A couple of worth paym~; people _to play baseball or wait until Major League ing of all of us together as a Michigan now recruits. Sources well-controlled drives capped by Baseball deetde~ to g1ve them the "Honorary World Series" title. team," llerrmann said. " It docs· close to the recruiting process say field goals of 43 and 39 yards by Wolves: The mo~ t unrccogni7.cd sport~ team in Chicago is off to n't matter what's out there or who that about the time Carr took over Remy Hamilton. it ~eat st~rt! ~oing 13-5 and holding the first place ~pot in the we play. If we love each other, in 1995, Michigan began placing "The rest," Griese said, "was Mtdwest di\IU>I(Jn of the Western Conference. So please let's rccog· support each other, then we're a premium on attitude as well as history." ni7.e them as a legitimate Chicago sports team. going to have a great teum. It speed and quickness. Instead of P?r my paning words of wisdom: Chicago fans claim to be the wasn't so much us against the pursuing so-called trophy play- best tn the world. However, the majority of the fans don't seem up !<'proving that distinction. It'$ put up or shut up, people. The ball •s m your hand~ .

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