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An Exploratory Case Study on Death and Dying in a Cyberspace Talking Circle

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An Exploratory Case Study on Death and Dying in a Cyberspace Talking Circle WHO WILL TALK TO ME? AN EXPLORATORY CASE STUDY ON DEATH AND DYING IN A TALKING CIRCLE A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE GRADUATE DIVISION OF THE UNIVERSITY OF HAWAI‘I AT MĀNOA IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS IN COMMUNICATION December, 2014 By Charmaine Crockett Thesis Committee: Wayne Buente, Chairperson Kevin Kawamoto Marc Moody Keywords: Communication, Cyberspace, Death and Dying, Digital Stories This thesis is dedicated to my mother, Lorraine Crockett and to all the people who have died horrible deaths ii ABSTRACT The aim of this exploratory study was to analyze, from the perspectives of the researcher, a conceptual model of communicative exchanges on death and dying and the conditions under which people talk about this salient subject. The researcher designed and implemented an interactive website on death and dying and conducted F2F interviews with 8 participants so as to identify major death and dying thematic elements in informal conversations. Using a mixed methods approach to decipher and assess potential visitor behaviors and themes online and an offline, results indicated substantial visitors to the website over a period of time but limited and almost non-existent visitor feedback or comments. In F2F conversations on death and dying seven major themes were identified: Best practices for living; what is a good death; what is a bad death; what death means; preparing for death; personal experiences with death; and, death is not the end. iii PREFACE Our time is coming. Why push matters and talk about death, you may ask, when conversational topics should enliven, not depress and when daily urgencies trample on everyday agendas, leaving scarce moments to ponder our inevitability? Death matters. With aging, death thoughts bubble to the surface, parents and friends pay heed to the final bell and our own pesky health issues give rise to mortal doses of a harsh reality: this life will end someday. The threat of death has followed me into war zones, narrow escapes from abuse, and illness. It has been an unwelcome friend in moments of profound depression where, surrounded by cruelty and evil, I considered its eternal promise. Evading grief was a survival tactic, which failed me when my mother and best friend died within a short time of each other. I was so bereft some days I could barely fathom life outside my hollowed bed. My howl of a thousand wolves and the unbearable heaviness of being ignited a depth of philosophical ponderings previously submerged in my unconsciousness. The fragility of my humanity lay bare and I had no tools to share the complexity and depth of my most intimate feelings. I was lonely and finding comfort in everyday conversations eluded me. Friends had families and when death happened in those circles, members danced metaphorically around the grieving individual, providing solace and care. I had no family. My mother was my compass, my savior from the orphanage and my light on my darkest days. When my best friend died, I was stung with a reality so terrifying and yet so mysterious, my silence became my defense in a world where casual conversations became a cacophonous symphony of meaninglessness. I was then iv struck with an illness that would kill me sooner than I would like. I turned to the Internet as an unlikely ally. I was an orphan without a best friend but with a new non-human friend – the Internet. I needed to talk and to listen to what others had to say about death and dying, mortality, illness and loss. This solemn adventure evolved into a verdant landscape of inquiry, transforming my loneliness into a personal quest towards understanding the process of death, how we communicate on death and its effects on the choices we make while we are alive. This thesis was given birth as a way to release inner turmoil, to transcend grief into the realm of meaning of what it means to be alive when we know we will die. It is also an inquiry into how we talk about death in cyberspace and to each other. In face-to-face (F2F) conversations, it is rare to talk about death openly and enthusiastically but the Internet, as a communication tool, is awash in death related websites, support networks, faith based perspectives on death and dying and, even, how to plan a class act funeral. Stories on the Internet inspired me to have a celebration for mom at a swanky four-star restaurant, not a depressing funeral. I invited a catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Hawaiian healer to send her off, congratulating myself on being a good daughter who covered all afterlife bases. This project is unconventional. I need to face facts here. I have struggled through various methodologies and research strategies, trying to be accepted into the halls of academia. I finally understood that if my life is unconventional then it stands to reason my thesis probably will too. Life is good and it will be fine. v TABLE OF CONTENTS acknowledgement……………………………………………………………………………………..II ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................. iii PREFACE .................................................................................................................................... iv CHAPTER ONE ........................................................................................................................... 1 INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................................................ 1 1.1 Background and Significance ....................................................................................................... 1 1.2 Purpose and Rationale ...................................................................................................................... 3 1.3 Research Questions ............................................................................................................................ 4 1.4 Theoretical Guidance ......................................................................................................................... 5 1.5 Final Thoughts ...................................................................................................................................... 8 CHAPTER TWO ......................................................................................................................... 9 LITERATURE REVIEW ......................................................................................................... 9 2.1 Communication Studies on Death and Dying .................................................................... 9 2.2 Death Attitudes and A Good Death ....................................................................................... 13 2.3 Death, Dying and the Baby Boomer Generation ........................................................... 17 2.4 Death Acceptance and a Good Life ........................................................................................ 20 2.5 Death and Dying on the Internet ............................................................................................ 24 2.6 Social Support on the Internet ................................................................................................. 26 2.7 Computer-Mediated Communication and Blogging .................................................... 28 2.8 Claiming our voices: Talking Circles and Digital Storytelling ............................. 30 2.81 Digital Storytelling .................................................................................................................................... 30 2.8.2 Talking circles ............................................................................................................................................. 31 2.9 Conclusion ............................................................................................................................................. 33 CHAPTER THREE ................................................................................................................... 34 MATERIALS AND METHODS ......................................................................................... 34 3.1 Introduction .......................................................................................................................................... 34 3.2 Research Design ................................................................................................................................ 35 3.3 The Talking Circle Model ............................................................................................................ 36 3.3. Initial Processes ............................................................................................................................... 37 3.4 Methodology ......................................................................................................................................... 41 3.4.1 Quantitative Research Methods .............................................................................................................. 42 3.4.2 Qualitative Research Methods ................................................................................................................. 44 CHAPTER FOUR ...................................................................................................................... 50 RESULTS ............................................................................................................................................
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