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The Giglampz R 05\ :f~ '" 't59 ~\ ~ - ct ~o- \'& 14- \J, \, ""'A.O. \ - g ~~~ /l D1 t.:(.A.. /D Nol CINClNNATI JUNE ~1 1&14 , - nEY01.£D 10 J\I\T} ltT£RAltJRE. AND SATli\E. \ ) ) --t.. -. - [ ~ ~, 2 THE GIGLAMPZ. "THE GIG LA MPZ." occult art of self-preservation, had been en­ note bearing the words, "Sir, the choice of abled to live through the centuries. weapons rests with you," But happily those PUBLISHED DAILY, EXOEPT WEEK-DAYS. " AmI not addressing the celebrated au- days are dead j and we have just purchased TERMS, $2.50 PER ANNUM. thor ?" Baid the voice of the un- an extremely large waste-basket. couthly-featured. ..:l/~~-==~ ___• ______ Address ,/ GIGLAl\IPZ PUBLISHING CO.," I It was a half-merry, half-mocking voice- J 50 WEST FOURTH STREET. a deep voice that sounded as though convey- Since our Aldermanic Board amuses itself -_____ I, cd from a vast distance through the modi urn with comic petitions, .we .would suggest a. of a pneumatic tube, public minstrel performance by that a.ugust SALUTATORY. It therefore resembled in its tone the bodv. Our worthy Mayor would of course dreamily - distant voices never - slumbering tak~ ;the part of "Mr. Johnson," while Si and BY A CELEBRATED FREN(,H AUTHOR. A }'RIEND Fancy hearB in the hours devoted to dark - Jimmy would make unequaled" end men," OF GIGLAMPZ. ness and slumber hy moral people. and the pensive tHx-payer would at least An enormous drop of soot-tinged water reap Borne amusement from his shekels. -.-- fell upon our nose, incontestably proving 1-/ /:::- r- •__ .__ _ IT was a dark and fearsome night in the that we were awake; and we murmured h E 1" ~ month of Juno, 1874; and the pavements of I monosyllabic assent to the stranger's query. Onee upon a time t ere was anng 18 1 Fourth Street were abandoned to solitude. " It. is well, " replied the Unknown, with a judge, who acted upon the principle that ali The lamps, dripping huge water-drops latitudinarian smile of joy. "1 have bl~en crimes were equally deserving of capitn,t fire-tinged fl'om their lurid glare~ seemed seeking you. I Ileed your assistance, your punishment, and wbo finally got into bot monst'rollA yellow goblin-eyes; weeping phos- . talent, yourmentul vigor so enormously water by wakingup suddenly from a snooze phorescent tears. manifested in your cyclopean phrenological in court, to pronounce the death sentence It was raining, and tbe funereal sky flamed development." upon somebody before the trial was balf with lightning. It W~8 such a rain as in tbe "Sapristi, monsieur !-permit me to in- through. There is an august city official in. primeval world created verdant seas of slimy. quire the nature of __ " 'Cincinnati who is suspected of being a mar­ mUG, subsequently condensed into that fossil- " Attend a little, friend, and your curiosi- chand de'justice; and people are hoping that iferous strata where to-day spectacled ge- ty.shall be sated with ample satisfaction. I he may some day yield to slumber in the ~~~g~~~~:i~di~~abne:1oend, ~~~ ~~~~~:::~~~:noJ ~:~: ~~:~edu~~;;o~ s:~ot;:ao:3ha~~sa~~~es~ P0:teli~~' ... the icthyosaurus. under the various regimes of a thousand TH·E entire force of day-polico were re- We. sat motionlessly meditati ve in the shad- civilizations, which flourished on ancient soil cently invited to a fashionable wedding rc­ ows of a Guthic doorway of medieval pat- now covered by the mile - deep waters of ception given at the palatial residence of tern, alld ruefully observed the movements, of foaming oceam~. I have:made my dwelling- one of our wealthiest citizens. Seven only! a giant rat, slaking his thirst at a water- place in the mig'hty palace-halls of Egyptian how~ver, of the constables were able to ac­ spout. Suddenly we were aware of a pres-, kings, in the gian t cities of dead Assyria, cept the kind invitation; and these did not sure-a gentle pressure on our shoulder. in the residences of Aztec monarchs and Pc- appear to enjoy themselves as might have A hurried glance convinced us that the ruvian Incas, in the snow-columned temples been exprcted, wandering in melancholy pressure was oecasioned by the presence of of the Greek, and the lordly homes of the meditation about the ground~, and mingling a hand. luxurious Roman. In fact I am roc:k-ribbed but little with the other six hundred guests It was a long, bony, ancient hand, dried and ancient as the sun; and have been wor- present. Evidently the poor fellows were and withered ~o the consisteney of India- shiped as a genius in far-sparkling planets I not used to fashionable eompany. rubber. It mIght have been compared to ere this mundane sphere was first evolved ~ 1'h.«A.~..-' • _ .. _ the hand of a mummy embalmed in the from that fiamidg orb. In all time \-vhen in- . reign of Ramases IlL, but wo felt a living dividualized intelligent thought existed,' 1 When Rotorious counterfeiters have been warmth in its'pressul'e, penetrating our sum- have inculcated, in living beings the truth of so unfortunate as to fall into the clutches of mer linen. that sublime and eternal maxim-."Laugh the inexorable law, and when mourning The Oriental wizards occasionally need and grow fht." To-day men must be taught friends show, their sympathy by inflicting the assistance' of a magic candle, in their' this glorious truth by the Bullock Press I"a- grievous ,bodily harm with beer glasseR upon groping amid ancient tombs-a candle which ther than the Tongue. 1 want your pen, not th~ person of a U~ited ~tates ?e.tecti\Te, ~e­ burns with a fuming stench 80 foul, that your tongue. 1Vl'ite me a i'alutatory for my tal~led as prosecutm~ w.ltnes~, It ]s the legIS­ huuary ghouls fiee dismayedly away. 'rhis new illm;trated weekly-only fivo cents a latl:e CUf:ltom of C~nemna.tl to arrest ~he candle 'is made of green fat-the fat of men copy." I U Dl~ed States ?ete~tlve, whIle the assault~ng long dead. For such a candle it is of course 'Yith these words he pressed a glazed partIes depa~'t In trIUmphant peace. ,It nus necefij~al'y to have a candlestiek. To procUl-~ Bristol-board card into our trembling hand, I become a mIsdemeanor to hnye one shead this cancllestick it is necessary to cut o,ff and di8appeared. brokeq'J the right hand of a murderou8 criminal exe- By the light of the weeping 8·trect-lamps L H- . •• --- euted by impalement, and having curefully we read thereon this weird If'gend: THE tide of public diHfavol'-to use an ex- dried it, to insert the ca~dle in its ghastly ~g~~n~~Oo~}!::rOagoOd.i),. travagan:t.ly mild term-appears to be setting grasp. .N ow the hand laId on our sboulder ~ @'Jt.:)@,~ ~ in strongly against journalistic gentlemen. ,strongly, r~sembled such ~ .hand. ~ .'~ 6(~Qj'" [] Pulpit, senate, and bar f.re fulniinating The. InTlng ~varmth O.t Its pre~sure al~ne :,:0.•,.,' r1~' ferociously againl5t them; and there is 'every restramed us trom utterIng a shrIek of hld- . f!If!LA"JrpZ ~-.(J prospect that we are soon to have a first-class eous fear. A cold sweat ravaged the starch- IN \.l ~ .I.,.. sensation in the snape of a J'ourualistic mar- ed bosom of o~r under-garment. ~ 0 tyrdom. Onl,y last Sunday one of our oldest Suddenly a f~ce peered out from t?e sb~d- ~~.),' ---I~X)2, ~L_ ~ and most prominent lawyers said that it ow, and thQ SIckly gl~re of the fiwkermg \!dl ~.~ G("'~ ~ would to-day be "impossible to impannel a gas-lamp fell full upo~ It. .. "«~~~~~~~~~~~~~ jury in Hamilton County, that would hang The aspect of that face llumedlately reas- a man for killing 4n editor or a reporter." aured us, .-. .:l. N\.«-t·,101 Coming events cast their shadows before. It wa1'4 iong to grotesqueness and meagre ~ even to weirdness. It would have been Col. George 'Ward Nickels bas been eng'lged as car- " I I -_-- stron~ly :Ylephistoph'clic but for an air of jo- t~~W~i8t for the new paper, THE GmLA.)fPz.-[Vol~s- THE public hus indulged in spccula.tion, viality that WllS not· wholly saturnine, The Contrary and notwithstanding the infer- and no little levity, in regard to our name. eves were deep, piercing, but" laughter- h' 1 b' 1 b In this, as i'n the future conduct of this ex- stirred" as thORe of Haroun Alraschid, The ence w ](; 1 a emg lted pu lie may have traordinaty sheet, we seek only to please nOi'e ';as almost sata.nically aquiline, but its drawn from the pictures that have been ex- our8~lves. 'Whether the publitshing' ('om- I b h hibited over the Colonel's signature, we har~h outline was tn0re than re ieved y ~ e maintain that he is NOT a caricaturist, and pany will declure "Irish dividends" in six Ion'..," smiling mouth. and the countless wrHl- . I month~, or not, does not concern u~. We ~ - d IS certam y not connected with this paper. I k kIt'S of melTi ment that i ntersec'teone . an- _ (the editorial corps) being on a salary, 00 other in crOW's-feet all over the ancient faee. ••• H ';':1 ~ "~J on publie favor with '~Cl'ene indifference The stranger's complexion Wl;tS that of caout- I THERE was a period in the history of jour- Tbe name pleases us.
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