So You Wanna Work in Movies So You Wanna Work in the Movies Stumble It! NEW! "THE WATERHORSE" - the Cinematographer's perspective with PICTURES! If you'd like to see my credits click here...... If you want to view or save the essay in .pdf format click here......... SO YOU WANNA WORK IN MOVIES? A response to people who ask: What do I do to get into Movies? By Oliver Stapleton BSC So you have to ask yourself the question: Am I Any Good at Anything? file:///Users/OS/Sites/Cineman%20May%202009/public_html/index.htm (1 of 52)09/05/2009 11:08 So You Wanna Work in Movies I'm totally useless at everything. This is not necessarily a problem as plenty of people working in the industry are totally useless. Some of them are Executives working in the Studios. If you don't know what this means, go to the part on Studio Executives, although it may not be very helpful, as I've never quite worked out what they do. Some people who work on the floor, i. e. actually making the film, are totally useless but they usually don't last very long, unless they are either very enthusiastic or very entertaining or very pretty or all three. I'm totally useless at everything but I'm willing to learn. Now this is much better. Modern schooling damages more people than it helps*. This is because the grade system means that you are never first. And if you were, you wouldn't be reading this. So you may feel useless because people kept telling you from childhood that you could do better if you worked harder. So you worked harder but never got to be first. So then you got very pissed off, set fire to some things, smoked some joints and decided you were useless. Many successful film people started life like this. Film People are kind of outlaws anyway: it's not a proper job. So if you've got bored of being bored, then working in film might just prove to you that you're good at something, even if you can't figure out what it is. Yet. *This is obviously untrue: education is the key to a better future. However, bad education is also responsible for a great deal of the problems of the world today. I am good at figures.. numbers that is. This is easy. Films employ Accountants by the bucket loads. When there’s a few million dollars to control, or a few hundred million, the Accountant is a rather important figure. He or she (and it seems to be she quite a lot of the time) does the same job that accountants do elsewhere but they can say "I'm working with Meryl Streep at the file:///Users/OS/Sites/Cineman%20May%202009/public_html/index.htm (2 of 52)09/05/2009 11:08 So You Wanna Work in Movies moment" and stuff like that. Accountants rarely see anyone connected with the film, unless they don't pay them. So if they see someone, they are usually angry. This makes the job quite hard, as sometimes films run out money to pay people, then the crew turns quite ugly. The producer or the director will make some kind of encouraging speech - "The money is definitely coming next week.." that kind of thing. When it doesn't, the accountant is first in the firing line. You may not want to be a movie accountant. If you're good at numbers, you could ignore that and do something more interesting - but don't ask me what. On the other hand, film accountants are usually pretty happy because they get really well paid! There's a fella called Andrew who left a message in the Guestbook (2008) and disagrees with some of what I say here. I like reading. Well this opens up a host of possibilities. This might be the moment to confess that I am a Cinematographer, or Director of Photography, which sounds rather more grand. This means that I only really know about what goes on when we shoot a film: what goes on before and after is not something I know much about but I can guess, and I hear stories. Anyway, if you like reading then there are people who read, and get paid for it. Oddly enough, they are called readers, and work for studios and producers who attract more scripts than they can read themselves. There are some pretty amazing statistics for the number of scripts written versus the number of films made. I don't know what they are, but I know they are amazing. This need not put you off being a reader however, as it means there’ are plenty of jobs for readers. Now as you may have guessed, after you read a script you have to say something about it, so just being able to read doesn't really get you the job - you have to be able to digest and regurgitate the material in marketspeak. Marketspeak may or may not exist as a word, but what it means is that the some Studios don't really care whether you think the script is any good, they care if you think it file:///Users/OS/Sites/Cineman%20May%202009/public_html/index.htm (3 of 52)09/05/2009 11:08 So You Wanna Work in Movies might make money. This might also mean that it is good. There's some really complicated system of analyzing scripts that is all entered into a computer which is supposed to say whether the script is going to be a hit. It's usually wrong, but sometimes isn’t. If the producer you work for actually is interested in good films, then you're lucky. And he or she might be able to converse with you at a higher level than marketspeak. This might be good moment to remind ourselves that films are many things, from shorts, docos, nature films etc to Titanic type films. It's important to realise that the words Film Industry are significant. Film is an Industry, just like making cars, and on one level is rightly perceived as such by the major studios. At the big end it is: Big Industry. At the little end it may be pure art. And some big films are Pure Art because someone decided they wanted to make the Big Meaningful Statement and they had the money to blow. And they probably did blow it. And some little films are pure industry because they are conceived, shot and designed to make money. They sometimes don't. In between these things are most films, and most films have every combination of people working on them. It is all started by the Writer. I like to write. Well this is good. So do I, but I'm not a script writer. Script writers kick-start the whole process. Directors like to think that they are The Business, but the truth is that Script Writers should be right there on the Pedestal with them. Unfortunately, a lot of good scriptwriters are really unpresentable to the modern world. That's why Directors get the media interest, because Directors can talk, which many scriptwriters can't. Or at least they might not be able to be suave and charming and er.. well.. tell... er.. partial truths. Being able to tell partial truths is very important for publicity, so if you don't think you can face the camera and say that you think the leading lady is an Absolute Dream when you know that she is 9/10ths SuperBitch, then don't be a Director. (Or don't do publicity). But Writers can be any kind of personality, as they don't have to appear in public. And they don't have to tell partial truths. file:///Users/OS/Sites/Cineman%20May%202009/public_html/index.htm (4 of 52)09/05/2009 11:08 So You Wanna Work in Movies Writing film scripts is very different from writing novels or journalism or any other kind of writing. This is because it's not really writing. It's a PLAN. Like an Architects Plan. The dialogue is the only bit that really survives, and even that gets changed by the Director or the Actor or both. So if you want to write and have what you write filmed exactly, then you have to Write and Direct. Lots of people want to do this, but God made very few creatures who are able to do this. This is because the personalities of Writers and Directors are so different: and even when such a person exists, usually one side of that person fails in the end. Unless they are one of the few i.e. A BRILLIANT ONE. Anyway, back to writing scripts. There are people who write and re- write scripts their whole lives, get paid bucketfuls of wonga (money), and may never have had one of their scripts turned into a movie. This is strange but true. These people are usually rich when they are middle aged, and pissed off. They only live in Hollywood; other countries in the world don't appear to support this species. You could be one of these people if you like to read scripts, then go to meetings and say in a knowledgeable and forceful manner why it doesn't work and then suggest better ideas which you, naturally, would write after your Agent has asked for a suitable 6 figure sum.