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In Defense of Adversity In Defense of Adversity STEVE GAVATORTA Published by Richter Publishing LLC www.richterpublishing.com Editors: Margarita Martinez, Savannah Grooms, Monica San Nicolas, and Natalie Meyer Cover Design: Jessie Alarcon Copyright © 2017 Steve Gavatorta All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any electronic or mechanical means (including photocopying, recording or information storage and retrieval) without permission in writing from the author or publisher. If you wish to buy wholesale copies of this title, please contact the publisher directly at 727-940-7640 or [email protected]. ISBN-10:1-945812-20-6 ISBN-13:978-1-945812-20-0 DISCLAIMER This book is designed to provide information on adversity only. This information is provided and sold with the knowledge that the publisher and author do not offer any legal or medical advice. In the case of a need for any such expertise, consult with the appropriate professional. This book does not contain all information available on the subject. This book has not been created to be specific to any individual’s or organization’s situation or needs. Every effort has been made to make this book as accurate as possible. However, there may be typographical and/ or content errors. Therefore, this book should serve only as a general guide and not as the ultimate source of subject information. This book contains information that might be dated and is intended only to educate and entertain. The author and publisher shall have no liability or responsibility to any person or entity regarding any loss or damage incurred, or alleged to have been incurred, directly or indirectly, by the information contained in this book. You hereby agree to be bound by this disclaimer or you may return this book within the guarantee time period for a full refund. In the interest of full disclosure, this book contains affiliate links that might pay the author or publisher a commission upon any purchase from the company. While the author and publisher take no responsibility for the business practices of these companies and/ or the performance of any product or service, the author or publisher has used the product or service and makes a recommendation in good faith based on that experience. All characters appearing in this work have given permission to be quoted and printed within this book. Any resemblance to other real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This information is the sole opinion of the author and not the publisher. i ii DEDICATION First, I dedicate this book to my high school English teacher, Lorraine Dellaria. Although I wasn’t necessarily the best student, your instruction did indeed sink in. You provided me with an excellent foundation for organizing my thoughts so I could effectively write and communicate. Thank you for your instruction and patience. I’m sure as a teacher you often wonder if your instruction resonates. You may not have thought so at the time, however, I assure you it did with me. I’d also like to dedicate the book to Mark Marshall, one of my best friends since childhood. At the writing of this book, Mark suffered a heart attack. In true fashion, he dealt with it positively and is now nearly back to good health. His grit and determination optimizes the content in this book. He is a perfect role model for someone who takes on difficulties head-on, in a level-headed way, and wins … or at least learns lessons that prepare him to succeed in the future. God Bless, Mark. Next, to all those immigrant families from Burgettstown and the village of Langeloth, who came to America with very little and not only survived, but thrived, making not only our town, but the United States of America the greatest, most prosperous country on the planet. Lastly, to all of those who faced unbelievable difficulties and adversity during Hurricanes Harvey and Irma. Your grit, determination, love, and compassion was an inspiration to all. iii iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I want to acknowledge all the people in my life who have influenced and motivated me to live a life of constant improvement. People who not only motivated me, but also who were patient and communicated with me in ways I could understand, which resonated with me, through which I could learn and grow. They pushed me and enabled me to the best person I could become. First and foremost, I would like to acknowledge my friend and mentor Santo Laquatra, whose guidance and wisdom I’ve been receiving for nearly 33 years. My friend is never too busy or too tired to take the time to help not only me, but others as well. Truly selfless, he is a role model that I aspire to emulate. My first personal coach, friend, mentor, and oftentimes business partner, Meryl Moritz, whose sage advice provided me with the courage and guidance to get my business off the ground. To my participants who helped me with content and PR recommendations for the book: Barry Alvarez, Dr. Pete Stracci, Petro and Despina Maropis, Toni Locy, Tracey Petricca, Adoni Maropis, Chris Maropis, and Eric Parker To the participants in my adversity survey and multiple interviews: Justin Moore, Peter Vaas, Karina Thomson, Sarah Peeples, Rob Newman, Jay Hayes, Robert Fraser, Brian Petrucci, Dave Pruitt, Matt Arroyo, Billy Quarantillo, Matt Frevola, Jennifer Shirkani, Abby Goodwin Roni Sloman, Jeff Filkovski, Ken O’Keefe, Barrie Pressly, Keith Tandy, Keeno Griffin, Dave Sedmak, Pamela Sedmak, Margie Bahm, Todd Fox, Bill Bonnstetter, Joe Rossi, Kevin Palermo, Brian Hill, Adam Gross, Michael Barrette, Ed Pinkham, Mark Liebel, Candace Andersson, Holly Blake, Mark Hunter, Sarah Sponaugle, Luis Echeverry Robert Tudi, Kim Milite, Brian Tucker, Karen Lindsey, Brady Quinn, Pete Comis, Topher Cramm, Chris Maropis, Chad Hymas, John Mahoney, and Adoni Maropis. v STEVE GAVATORTA Tara Richter, my publisher, for providing the structure and roadmap to write this book and get it published. And last but not least, to my parents, Steve and Donna Gavatorta, and my close friends, contributors Mark Marshall, Greg Capretto, Mandy Minor, Dave Fisher, Lisa Sideris, and Lee McCargar for their support and honest opinions. vi CONTENTS FROM COAL TO DIAMONDS ................................................................. 1 PART I ACCEPT & ACKNOWLEDGE .................................................... 13 1. AD ASTRA PER ASPERA…THROUGH HARDSHIP TO THE STARS ...... 14 2. THE SUMMER FROM HELL .............................................................. 29 PART II THE JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY ....................................... 36 3. BUILDING A FOUNDATION AND ENVIRONMENT TO GRIND .......... 37 4. SELF-KNOWLEDGE AND SELF-AWARENESS ARE ESSENTIAL .......... 51 5. HIGH D, DOMINANT STYLE ............................................................. 62 6. HIGH I, INFLUENCER STYLE ............................................................. 70 7. HIGH S, STEADINESS STYLE ............................................................. 78 8. HIGH C, COMPLIANT STYLE ............................................................. 85 9. EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS AND REPONSES ......................................... 92 10. SUCCESSFULLY INTERACTING WITH OTHERS ............................. 105 PART III BUILD & MAINTAIN A STRONG FOUNDATION .................... 119 11. DEVELOP & ACCESS A RESERVOIR OF OPTIONS ......................... 120 12. STRENGTHENING THE FOUNDATION ......................................... 130 13. LIFE’S CLASS IS ALWAYS IN SESSION; ALWAYS BE ATTENTIVE AND GRATEFUL ......................................................................................... 149 14. SAGE INSIGHTS FROM THE HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL ....................... 159 ABOUT THE AUTHOR ........................................................................ 174 vii INTRODUCTION FROM COAL TO DIAMONDS The gem cannot be perfected without friction, nor can man be perfected without trials. ~ -Chinese Proverb- Barry Alvarez—The Wisconsin Badgers’ Football Coach It was a beautiful, warm day. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. However, this was not just another normal day in Pasadena, California. History had been made. The Wisconsin band was playing “On, Wisconsin!” Fans were cheering; players shouted with joy. This was the Wisconsin Badgers’ first Rose Bowl game—and they’d won, defeating hometown favorite UCLA, 21-16. Head football coach Barry Alvarez was proud. He was the man who had turned a perennial loser into a winner in just a few short years, bringing the team here, to the “Granddaddy of Them All,” the Rose Bowl. As Barry Alvarez left the field, thoughts and emotions swirled in his head such as how far they’d come as a team, but most importantly, how far he’d come in his life. From very humble beginnings as a kid from a small coal-mining town in western Pennsylvania, just one generation removed from his Spanish ancestry, to heading off a football field that carried with it so much pride and tradition, it had been one hell of a journey. And there was more to come. 1 STEVE GAVATORTA Adoni Maropis—The Hollywood Actor On his first drive to the Hollywood set of the hit television show 24, Adoni Maropis was heading to one of the biggest opportunities of his acting career. Slated to appear in several episodes, this was not just an opportunity for him to perform on a primetime show, but also to work with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars, Kiefer Sutherland—the show’s lead character, Jack Bauer. Adoni had invested hours of preparation. His role was that of a terrorist opposing Jack Bauer. To embody this character, he needed
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