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REPORTERSUMMER/FALL 2017 Serving Stamford, Westport, Bridgeport and Upper Fairfield County THE SIXTH ANNUAL SAUL COHEN-SCHOKE JEWISH FAMILY SERVICE LECTURE The Family Today: Secrets to Stronger Relationships and Greater Happiness at Any Age ruce Feiler, an author of Interview with the author… with another person. It’s co-creation twelve books, including six through co-narration. I had never seen consecutive New York Times The Schoke JFS Reporter asked Bruce B Feiler to answer a few questions to help it so clearly before working on Adam nonfiction best-sellers, will speak on understand his thoughts and motiva- and Eve. Piaget coined the phrase “col- Thursday, November 9th at 7:30 pm tions in writing his most recent books. lective monologue” to describe how at the Ferguson Library in Stamford. preschoolers play, meaning they gather What inspired you to write The First together but talk only to themselves. The lecture is a gift, offered free to Love Story: Adam, Eve and Us? the community, through the generos- Love is the opposite of this. It’s “col- The conversation around my kitchen lective dialogue.” ity of Mimi and Saul Cohen. table! I have a work- I talked to specialists ing wife and adolescent Prior to the Lecture at the library, in resilience, in mending daughters. And like every- a Patrons’ Reception will be held for breaches, in getting over one else, I’m just terribly a select group of generous donors the loss of a child (which confused about what are to thank them for their support of Adam and Eve experience) the rules for how men and and they all taught me the Schoke JFS. A book signing and des- women relate to each other same thing: At each turn sert buffet will follow the main lec- these days. A lot of the or setback in a relation- ture. For details or to learn how to writing about this focuses ship, the most successful on the latest research or become a Schoke JFS Patron, please partners write a new chap- app. But like many, I can’t contact Lisa Rich, Donor Relations ter in their shared story. help wondering if there’s Coordinator at 203-921-4161 or Adam and Eve must fig- any wisdom from the past [email protected]. ure this out for themselves. Theirs is worth preserving. As a popular voice on contempo- the first joint byline, and we’re all still Then, a few years ago, we were on doing the same. rary life, Bruce Feiler will present, in a trip to Rome and I had the brilliant his easy speaking style, the themes of Can you outline what are the top idea to take my sleep-deprived daugh- secrets to a happy family? What his most recent book, The First Love ters to the Vatican. It didn’t go well. makes each of them a secret? We made it to the Sistine Chapel, and PAID Story: Adam, Eve and Us and one of High-functioning families have his most widely read self-help books, one of my girls glanced at Adam and PERMIT # 14 NON-PROFIT three things in common: They adapt U.S. POSTAGE HUNTINGTON, NY ORGANIZATION God and said, “Why are there only The Secrets of Happy Families. Bruce all the time; they talk, a lot; they go out men?” Then her sister said, “Is that Eve has written for numerous publica- and play. These ideas sound simple, but under God’s arm?” tions including The New Yorker, The they’re surprisingly hard to remember And that’s when it hit New York Times Magazine, and Gour- when we’re all in the brunt me. Since antiquity, Adam of our day-to-day lives. met. He is also a frequent contribu- and Eve have stood at the The Secrets of Happy tor to National Public Radio, CNN center of every conversa- Families was first and Fox News. A native of Savannah, tion about men, women, published in 2013. Georgia, Feiler completed his under- and sexuality. Yet instead With a growing family of graduate degree from Yale University of celebrating them, his- your own, do you have tory has blamed them for any updated secrets or and a master’s degree in interna- bringing sin, lust, even revisions to the original tional relations from the University death into the world. advice you shared with of Cambridge. He is married and has It’s the greatest charac- readers? twin daughters. ter assassination ever. My The biggest change since The life lesson takeaways in these question was, What can 2013 is that technology books reflect the principles Schoke history’s first couple teach us about re- has become even more pervasive and lationships today? an even greater headache in families. JFS follows while assisting families, My overall “secrets” haven’t changed, individuals, couples and those who In writing about one of the oldest and most well-known stories of the but how to apply them to a changing require assistance in our community. Bible, what do you think is the most landscape of social media has made For more information about the over-looked life lesson of the tale? implementing them even more critical. Saul Cohen – Schoke JFS Lecture, The most misunderstood? please visit www.ctjfs.org. That’s easy: Love is a story we tell continued on page 3 • ON THE INSIDE • ON THE INSIDE • ON THE INSIDE • ON THE INSIDE • ON THE INSIDE • Welcome New Board An Evening With Fall Programs Schoke JFS Members and Staff Page 9 Jewish Family Service of Stamford, Inc. 733 Summer Street, Stamford, CT 06901 Page 4-5 Page 7 SJFS-2017 Sept Reporter.indd 1 8/30/17 7:13 PM A MESSAGE FROM THE CEO Looking Back almost at the same time due to downsizing. Over- never felt so proud as I did at those moments.” whelmed and distraught, they were a family unac- I am happy to say that Emily was able to get a full choke Jewish Family customed to doing “without,” who needed assistance. time job in a local hospital, and while she and Sam Service ends its pro- In Emily’s words: “Things started unraveling at the have since divorced, the family is now doing well, gram year just prior to S seams and we found ourselves in a place we never and is completely self-sufficient. She recently wrote the High Holidays, giving us imagined. It seemed surreal to be in that situation, to us to say “what you have done for me and my fam- the opportunity to look back yet there we were, desperately in need of support.” ily is a true blessing - that I could count on Schoke as an agency, and of course When they reached out to us, Emily said: “I had no JFS to lift me up when I was down. Becoming a personally. idea what to expect or if I would even qualify for any single mother, working full-time and balancing life Albert Einstein said: There are two ways to live your help. I had heard about the programs and thought I has been so very hard. Schoke JFS has held my hand life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as would give it a try. I felt awkward and embarrassed through all of this.” even asking for help, as it was the first time in my life though everything is a miracle. Schoke Jewish Family Service performs miracles having to do so.” Every so often, an employee who works in our or- every day. Thousands of them each year. Through ganization, but not directly with clients, will come We provided food from our kosher food pantry, providing assistance to families in crisis, or giving in to my office, sit down, and say, “I just can’t believe Passover bags, grocery cards to help in obtaining glu- out thousands of meals to people who cannot afford what we do for so many people!” Since they don’t ten free food for a child with food allergies, counsel- to feed their families. Our support is there at the ing, job referral assistance and camp scholarship funds work directly with clients, they get to watch what most vulnerable times in people’s lives. to help get Emily and her family back on her feet. goes on here on a daily basis from a little bit of a dis- Of course, this is because we can do this in a com- tance. Those of us who do work directly with clients While all of these services were critical to helping munity that cares about its neighbors, and provides us are so wrapped up in making sure that clients receive Emily and her family sustain themselves, the children the tools and funds necessary to make these miracles. the help and assistance they need, that we don’t al- were transformed by the ability to attend summer camp. During this difficult time, trying to maintain I wish all of you a happy and healthy New Year, ways take the time to slow down and see the miracles some normalcy for the children was very important. and thank you for being a partner of Schoke JFS in that occur when we can intervene. Emily said: “Camp was her connection to the Jewish creating miracles every day. At Schoke JFS, we perform miracles every day. community, which made her feel she was not alone. Some of them are little, and some are big. It was her “community,” where she fit in and came Take Emily and Sam, for example, (names changed, home singing Hebrew songs, teaching me and her fa- to protect confidentiality) who were both executives ther about Shabbat and the Jewish holidays.

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