SEPTEMBER 3–SEPTEMBER 16, 2020 DUBUQUE365.com ISSUE #371

12 ENTERTAINMENT MAKES A SAFE RETURN TO FIVE FLAGS BRYCE SITS DOWN WITH FIVE FLAGS CENTER GENERAL MANAGER H.R. COOK TO DISCUSS THE REOPENING OF THE FIVE FLAGS CENTER

FEATURES SECTIONS 11 PICTURE YOURSELF IN THE TRI-STATES 6 EVENTS 16 DUBUQUE’S FISH TACO SCENE 14 NIGHTLIFE 16 COLUMNISTS

PRODUCTION STAFF CONTRIBUTING WRITERS BRYCE PARKS GWEN BEATTY pubLISHer, eVerYtHING eLSe GOOD ADVICe [email protected] [email protected]

KRISTINA NESTEBY MATT BOOTH LAYOut NINJA, DeSIGNer mAttItuDe [email protected] [email protected]

MIKE IRONSIDE SARA CARPENTER FeAture WrIter, pHOtOGrApHer DO It YOurSeLF ADVICe [email protected] [email protected]

DANNY FAIRCHILD ADVERTISING STAFF DINING [email protected] LISA STEVENSON [email protected] BOB GELMS 563-580-1691 bOb’S bOOK reVIeWS [email protected]

PAM KRESS-DUNN COLumNISt [email protected]

SUNIL MALAPATI DINING [email protected] SPECIAL THANKS RYAN WERNER CHrIStY mONK, GINA SIeGert, NeIL Dr. mCCrACKeN’S HOrOSCOpeS StOCKeL, KAY SCHrOeDer, rICH beLmONt, mArGIe bLAIr, FrAN pArKS, JuLIe SteFFeN, rON & JeNNIFer tIGGeS, JuLIe GrIFFIN, mArK DIerKer, bACON, SteVeN SCHLeuNING, tIm breCHLIN, rOY WHERE’S WANDO? & Deb buOL, JeFF LeNHArt, GeN. bOb 365INK MAGAZINE FeLDermAN, DAVe HAAS, LISA OLSON, mIKe We’Ve HIDDeN WANDO 432 bLuFF St, DubuQue, IA 52001 • DubuQue365.COm • 563-588-4365 • [email protected] DAmASO, pAuL GILLIGAN, pAuL & SANDY SOmeWHere IN tHIS meYer, ALL OF Our 365 FrIeNDS AND ISSue OF 365INK. CAN ALL CONteNtS © 2006–2020, COmmuNItY INCOrpOrAteD. ALL rIGHtS reSerVeD. ADVertISerS... AND YOu FOr reADING. YOu FIND HIm? ALL bACON SerVeD SemI-CrISpY. cool folding rocking lawn chair. NICE! But overall, I wondered how I’d fair after what was overall about five and half hours of set-up, rocking out, and packing up. It was I had a band gig last weekend and it was not a problem. A year off didn’t make me all kinds of things from a relief to a joy, a better guitar player, but my solos sucked but most of all, it was the conclusion of back then too, so it was basically more of a comeback of sorts and it felt good. there same. That’s why we have cute girls Before the gig, it had been a full year, in the band, so no one listens too closely almost to the day, since my band Unicorn to guitar solos. I was a little tired and Fist last played a full show anywhere in hungry after, but in the good way. And public. It was Sept. 1 of 2019 and going because Lou and Kelli are such awesome into it, I was quite aware that I had cancer hosts, we were very well fed after the and this would be my last show for quite a show. Every gig should end so magically! while. Let’s face it. It coulda been my last And, like some kind of fortuitous show ever. I didn’t want to dwell on that capstone, this coming weekend we little detail at the time, but privately I was return to the friendly confines of the really wanting to take it all in and enjoy the Sandy Hook Tavern to provide the party day. I was tired as I was dealing with low on the Sunday Funday portion of a big hemoglobin from the cancer, but a blood Labor Day Weekend of live music there. transfusion and some hardcore iron supple- Thank you to Ashley from the Hook for ments had made me feel a lot better than I having us back. We’re thrilled to be back. had felt a couple of week earlier. I had also Fall is coming on fast, and this could just returned from a two-week vacation be our last public show for a while. One to Yellowstone. Christy was worried about thing we all agreed on with playing this leaving for two weeks in my condition, but summer was that we were only going dammit, I was not missing out on a long to play outdoor shows because of planned vacation if there was a chance it COVID‑19. We actually had some earlier was my last one. Sorry. I don’t want to be shows booked at other great well- negative and stuff, and I didn’t really talk ventilated venues like the Yardarm, but that way at the time, but you know… you alas, they kept getting cancelled, and the think about that stuff privately to yourself. coronavirus kept not going away. A half Thankfully the vacation was great and dozen non-shows later (and one rainout problem free, and the gig was too, so all after only about 20 minutes of playing) was well. We played outside at the Sandy and we were wondering if we were ever Hook Tavern which is a great venue to going to get the chance to play this year. visit in the summertime. All I could do I’m actually kind of happy now that after was just take my punches and hope we didn’t play before now. I don’t know if to come back and do it again one day. would have enjoyed it as much as I did had Yadda, yadda yadda… I survived my I tried to come back before my body was surgery. At least that’s what they tell me. ready. And now I’m sad that we might have And the three months of chemotherapy to stop again for a while. Just little mini at the end of the year was a great turd concerts in my basement on Sunday nights on top of my miserable experience. until next year. But those are fun too. But I got through that too. And then… Fingers crossed that I get through all TA-DA!!! COVID-19! So, thinking I may my scans and tests late this fall with fly- be immunocompromised, I sat around ing colors and I continue to get healthier. the house, safely gaining a lot of weight I’ll tell you that my CT scans last month eating too much and watching TV. By were clear. So I just get to do the fun May I felt like total crap. So June 1, after colonoscopy in a bit and see if I’m okay having my chemo port removed from my there as well. I sure hope so. I know I feel chest, I got off my fat butt and started good and don’t wonder if I’ll continue walking and eating better. I’ll write about to get skinnier. Somehow I know I will. that some day, but long story shot, I’ve The lifestyle change I’ve undertaken is dropped 40 pounds in 3 months and not hard and very sustainable. No crazy I feel very good. Yes, I earned every diets or workouts. Just daily dedica- pound. No sick guy weight loss here. tion to better food, less food, and lots 18,000 steps a day for three months and of activity. And if I’ve been a good boy, a record number of salads did the trick. maybe the fates will give me a reprieve. No way could I have performed a Seeing the news of Chadwick Bose- 4-hour gig in May or even June. I was tired man, who had the same stage of colon and way out of shape, even for a fat guy. cancer that I had, lose his battle after Fast forward to last weekend, and I was four years sure takes the wind out of about to knock out a gig without a prob- your sails. But everyone’s journey is lem. We played at New Diggings General unique, and all I can do is the best I can Store and Inn in Wisconsin, and owners for myself and my future health. So that’s Lou and Kelli are like family, so you know what I do. And along the way I’ll keep it’s going to be a great atmosphere. I rocking people faces off with Unicorn didn’t even really need to sit down and Fist. Maybe your face will be next. But rest between sets. I mean I did, but only if you wear your mask, you should sur- because I had to try out Tim Buckholtz’s vive… in more ways than one. Rock on! n

4 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 Issue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM

Events

FLY-BY-NIGHT PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS TAMING OF THE SHREW ACTS III AND IV: THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 @ 6 PM ACT V AND INDUCTION: THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8 @ 6 PM ONLINE INTERNATIONAL Fly-By-Night Produc- tions (FBNP) presents DAY OF PEACE a unique series of three HOPE FROM THE ASHES: online performances of 75 YEARS AFTER HIROSHIMA AND NAGASAKI William Shakespeare’s FOOD TRUCK SEPTEMBER 20–27 The Taming of the Shrews. ONLINE Acts III and IV will be FRIDAYS The United Nations International Day of Peace is recog- performed on Thurs- FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 @ 11 AM–1 PM nized around the world every Sept. 21, and Dubuque’s day, Sept. 10, and Act V and Induction on Thurs- WASHINGTON PARK (6TH–7TH AND LOCUST ST) Day of Peace Festival has spanned the two week period day, Oct. 8. All performances begin at 6 p.m. Acts Travel Dubuque sponsored Food Truck Fridays serves surrounding that date. The final touches are being I and II were performed on a previous date. up great to-go eats on Friday, Sept. 11. Because of assembled for this year’s festival with most if not all The cast will be all female to investigate, question social-distancing concerns, there will be no dedicated event occurring online due to the COVID-19 pandemic. and interpret Shakespeare’s seemingly misogynistic seating, but you can pull up a spot on the grass (bring On Aug. 6, 1945, a U.S. plane dropped an atomic play. Each session will involve a 45 minute perfor- a chair or blanket) because there will still be live bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, killing as many as 166,000 mance followed by a moderated panel discussion music from the Joie Wails Duo provided by 365ink. people. Three days later the U.S. dropped a similar involving the actors. Sunil Malapati, FBNP Board For the last Food Truck Fridays event for 2020, bomb on Nagasaki, with up to 80,000 more deaths. Member and Professor of Chemistry at Clarke Univer- the food trucks on hand will include Magoo’s Pizza, Many generations later, nations still threaten oth- sity will serve as the series director and moderator. Candle Ready Cakes, Happi Hibachi, Buenie Bot- ers with nuclear weapons. To create lasting peace, Zoom Webinar will be the mode used to present the toms Outdoor Grill, and Charlotte’s Coffee House. we need to address nuclear weapon proliferation, series. Audience will be able to submit questions. Joie’s bluesy vocals lends itself well to a wide range unsafe nuclear waste storage, and related problems. Register in advance at flybynightdubuque.com. of tunes you are sure to love as much as the food. More information will be released soon! For more information, call 563-599-9486 or There is no on-site restrooms or sanitation. For Check back in the next issue of 365ink or visit facebook.com/flybynightdubuque. n more information, visit TravelDubuque.com. n visit facebook.com/dbqdayofpeace. n

6 Events 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 Issue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM Events

THU 9/3 SAT 9/5 passionate about the history WED 9/9 required to attend with the of Platteville to dress up, and student. $5 member; $12.50 swing to the music of a Big non-member students and Band orchestra. Music by the non-member chaperones. Ken Kilian Classic Big Band. rivermuseum.com/ Fundraiser for The Mining home-school-days. Tri-State Wind & Rollo Jamison Museums. Home School Days: Symphony: Two- Jack and the $50. 608-348-3301. What’s in Your Water Hands on Hundred-Fifty Beanstalk mining.jamison.museum. 10:30–11:30 AM @ NATIONAL Horticulture Kits and Counting 11 AM AND 2 PM @ HAZEL MISSISSIPPI RIVER ONLINE 7 PM @ EAGLE POINT GREEN OPERA HOUSE MUSEUM & AQUARIUM Sept. 9 and 23 and Oct. 7. PARK BAND SHELL Keychella (HAZEL GREEN, WI) TUE 9/8 Sept. 9 and 10. Third through The Dubuque County ISU Join the Tri-State Wind COMISKEY PARK Sept. 5, 7, and 12 at 11 a.m. eighth grade home school, Extension and Outreach Symphony for their Sept. 4–6. Keychella is an and 2 p.m. and Sept. 6 and 13 Monarch Butterfly hybrid, and online learners Office is partnering with condensed 2020 sea- inclusive community event at 2 p.m. This marionette Tagging become water quality multiple community organi- son. Free. TSWS.org. hosted by Key City Pride version of Jack and the 10–11:30 AM @ INTERSTATE scientists and learn how zations to offer three socially and various community Beanstalk is based on the old POWER PRESERVE to evaluate water quality. distanced take-home partners. Multiple events English fairy tale. A photo op Sept. 8 at 10–11:30 a.m. at Collect water samples to do hands-on gardening lesson FRI 9/4 are planned throughout the will be available after the Interstate Power Preserve; chemical testing as well as kits. Each free kit includes community including a lunch show. RSVP required. $5. Sept. 11 at 10–11:30 a.m. survey aquatic macroin- a different lesson that First Fridays and learn, drag brunch, and 2130 Main St, Hazel Green, at Swiss Valley Nature vertebrates to determine can be completed in one’s 11 AM–8 PM @ CENTRAL live entertainment from WI. 608-732-7129. Preserve; Sept. 12 at the health of the wetland home at the direction of a AVE MERCANTILE Elektra Supernova (Miss hazelgreenoperahouse. 10–11:30 a.m. at Whitewater at the National Mississippi YouTube video. RSVP. Free. Central Ave Mercantile Gay Dubuque), Montell blogspot.com. Canyon; and Sept. 19 at River Museum & Aquarium. extension.iastate.edu/ hosts live music outside Infinit Ross (Mr. Gay Iowa 1–2:30 p.m. at Swiss Valley A parent or chaperone is dubuque. plus samples of coffee and USofA 2014), Lyric, St. Nature Preserve. Learn dips. Free coffee mug with a Oshun (The Charles Walker about one of the world’s purchase of La Venta coffee Band), and more. Naysha most talked about butter- and a free $2 mask with any Lopez, Season 8 RuPaul’s flies and what makes them COVID-19 NOTICE: PLEASE purchase of $10 or more. Drag Race contestant, will No-Show Miners Ball so unique! Catch and tag CONTACT THE EVENT HOST Free. Facebook.com/ be the celebrity host for the 5–10 PM @ ONLINE monarchs as they migrate to OR VENUE TO MAKE SURE THE DubuqueFirstFridays. weekend. keycitypride.org. This formal event for couples their winter home in Mexico. EVENT IS STILL SCHEDULED of all ages invites everyone Free. DubuqueCounty.org.

DUBUQUE365.COM Issue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE Events 7 Events

THU 9/10 FRI 9/11 The Fall Holistic Fair includes with a round of golf. Entry and the way those experi- American women. This energy and spiritual healers, includes player gift, com- ences planted the seeds program will discuss the Restoration Club wellness practitioners, health petitive on-course games, for his astonishing future. history of the suffrage 5:30–7 PM @ LITTLE coaches, psychic and angel lunch, and online auction. 563-589-4225 x2248. movement, including its MAQUOKETA RIVER card readers, vendors, mini Registration and lunch at dubuque.lib.ia.us. controversies, Iowans’ roles, MOUNDS PRESERVE sessions, holistic workshops, 11 a.m., tee time at noon. and its impact. Presented by This 41 acre preserve DSO LIVE from and hourly raffle draw- $125 per person; $500 per Dr. Karen M. Kedrowski. features 32 ancient burial our Living Room: ings! Free. 563-213-7458. foursome. 563-845-0545. WED 9/16 Carnegie-Stout Public mounds. The preserve Erik Leveille facebook.com/ jaheartland.org. Library has partnered with also harbors a mature 7–7:30 PM @ ONLINE TheUsuiReikiCenter. Women’s Art Party the Hoover Museum and forest containing numer- The Dubuque Symphony 6:30–8:30 PM @ LIND Presidential Library for this ous wildflowers and a small Orchestra brings the Driftless Poets TUE 9/15 PAVILION (MINERAL live webinar. RSVP required. remnant of native blufftop symphony to your home Monthly Workshop POINT, WI) 563-589-4225 x2248. prairie. Help is needed to with free live mini concerts. 2–4 PM @ SHAKE RAG Participants and/or local dubuque.lib.ia.us. remove unwanted woody This is a free concert series, ALLEY (MINERAL POINT, WI) artists take turns leading vegetation from this but donations are accepted. Local and aspiring poets Women’s Art Party projects, unique area to preserve DubuqueSymphony.org. are invited to provide sup- introducing new materials the mounds. No experience port and encouragement and sharing techniques. $5. necessary and all equipment for poets seeking honest 411 Commerce St, Mineral provided. 18062 Walking SAT 9/12 feedback on their work. Let’s Talk Books: Point, WI. 608-987-3292. Way. DubuqueCounty.org. RSVP. 608-987-3292. They Called shakeragalley.org/ Live(stream) with shakeragalley.org. Us Enemy womens-art-party. Heritage Center: Page & Palette Book 6–6:40 PM @ ONLINE Kennedy’s Kitchen Group: Seven Days Join Carnegie-Stout Public 7:30 PM @ ONLINE in the Art World MON 9/14 Library to discuss They THU 9/17 Kennedy’s Kitchen is a 6 PM @ RIVER LIGHTS Called Us Enemy by George favorite local Irish band BOOKSTORE Junior Achievement Takei. Takei’s firsthand A Brief History of comprised of a family of lads Page & Palette is a book Kennedy Mall Fall Golf Classic account of years behind Women’s Suffrage including Liam Ladewski, group for art lovers. Discuss Holistic Fair 11 AM @ THUNDER barbed wire, the joys and 6 PM @ ONLINE Heritage Center’s student Seven Days in the Art World 10 AM–7 PM @ HILLS COUNTRY CLUB terrors of growing up This year marks the engagement graduate by Sarah Thornton. 1098 KENNEDY MALL (PEOSTA, IA) under legalized racism, his Centennial of the ratification assistant. Celebrate Main St. 563-556-4391. Sept. 12 at 10 a.m.–7 p.m. Support Junior Achieve- mother’s hard choices, his of the 19th Amendment, “Halfway to St. Patty’s Day!” RiverLights.com. and Sept. 13 at noon–6 p.m. ment of the Heartland father’s faith in democracy, which enfranchised 27 The episode will feature the

8 Events 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 Issue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM Events band’s music, a look into is a fan favorite for people Richter, and Korrin Shriver. ONGOING a craft and story. Includes their lives, and plans for excited for a sneak peek at RSVP. [email protected]. parent/caregiver. $10 non- future local performances. the latest and greatest deadly tinyurl.com/yyryvanj. Galena Territory members; $8 members. Join at @HeritageCTR on diseases. Did researchers go Farmers Market rivermuseum.com/ Facebook and Twitter or @ too far with their creation of SUNDAYS: SEPT 6, SEPT 20, toddler-time. UDBQMedia on YouTube. this year’s Virus of the Year? FRI 9/25 AND OCT 11 @ 8 AM–NOON Free. 563-589-3432. One thing’s for sure, no one GALENA TERRITORY Iowa Street Mid- Dubuque dbq.edu/HeritageCenter. is going anywhere after the OWNERS’ CLUB (2000 Week Market Farmers’ Market keynote speaker is suddenly TERRITORY DR, GALENA, IL) WEDNESDAYS THROUGH SATURDAYS THROUGH killed, and it’s up to you to 815-777-2000. facebook.com/ OCT 28 @ 4–8 PM SEPT 26 @ 7 AM–NOON SUN 9/20 help solve what or who truly TheTerritoryFarmersMarket. 11TH AND IOWA STS SATURDAYS OCT 3–31 is the killer. Performed by the @ 8 AM–NOON Chili Feed Brew Ha Ha Players RSVP. Comedy with Toddler Time Millwork Night Market 13TH AND IOWA ST Fundraiser $59.95. 563-583-6100. Theo Von FIRST TUESDAY @ 9 AND THURSDAYS: SEPT 10 563-588-4400. 11 AM–2 PM @ SWISS StoneCliffWinery.com. 7 PM @ DUBUQUE 10:30 AM AND FIRST AND OCT 8 @ 5 –8 PM dubuquefarmersmarket.org. VALLEY PARK WALNUT COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS SATURDAY @ 10:30 AM: 7TH–9TH AND JACKSON ST PAVILION (PEOSTA, IA) Voices of Hope: Theo Von has one of the THROUGH MAY 3 MillworkNightMarket.com. Galena BYO bowl and utensils to Climate Change top comedy podcasts titled NATIONAL MISSISSIPPI Farmers Market help eliminate several hun- Panel Discussion This Past Weekend, which RIVER MUSEUM & Gary’s Graffiti Nights SATURDAYS THROUGH dred pounds of trash added 6:30–7:45 PM @ ONLINE garners 5 million listens a AQUARIUM TRAIN DEPOT THURSDAYS OCT 31 @ 7 AM–NOON to our local landfill. Carry An intergenerational virtual month on audio alone. Theo Each month’s program is THROUGH SEPT 24 123 COMMERCE ST, out available. Benefitting the panel discussion on climate has a Netflix special titledNo themed around a different 5–9:30 PM @ KENNEDY MALL GALENA, IL Friends of Dubuque County change features Sr. Marie Offense released in 2015. He letter of the alphabet and an Classic cars converge 563-542-0996. Conservation. $7 Adults; Cingrand, OSF, Chuck Isen- was the host of TBS’s hidden animal that starts with that for a night full of door facebook.com/ $4 kids 12 and under. 13069 hart, Jared McGovern, Sadie camera show Deal With It. letter. Programs incorporate prizes, music, and fun. galenafarmersmarket. Swiss Valley Rd, Peosta, IA. DubuqueCounty.org.

Murder Mystery COVID-19 NOTICE: PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS! Dinner: COOTIES CONTACT THE EVENT HOST DO YOU HAVE A TRI-STATE EVENT THAT YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS? 5 PM @ STONE CLIFF WINERY OR VENUE TO MAKE SURE THE LET US KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON BY SENDING US YOUR INFORMATION! Epi-Con, the ultimate annual EVENT IS STILL SCHEDULED EMAIL: [email protected] convention for epidemics, ONLINE SUBMISSION: DUBUQUE365.COM/SUBMIT-EVENT

DUBUQUE365.COM Issue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE Events 9 MOVIE NEWS COMING TO MOVIE BUZZ THEATERS The future of movie releases in 2020 hinges greatly on the success or failure of Tenet at the TENET (PG-13) box offi ce. While the New Mutants released earlier, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 it was not well reviewed, whereas Tenet has good Armed with only one buzz leading up to it. So expectations are high, word—Tenet—and fi ghting for even if limited due to COVID-19 and the continuing the survival of the entire closure of many movie theaters in America. If world, the protagonist Tenet succeeds, we will get Wonder Woman on journeys through a twilight world of interna- Oct. 2. If it fails to get people in theaters, expect to tional espionage on a mission that will unfold in see Wonder Woman and all other major releases something beyond real time. shelved again until we get to a place when people truly feel safe going out. Due to general solidarity MULAN (DISNEY+) of movie theater owners, any major release that (PG-13) goes direct to video on demand (VOD) will not be FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 shown in most cinemas in America. So don’t When the Emperor of China expect to see Mulan or Bill & Ted on the big screen issues a decree that one man unless it’s by a theater owner who defi es the per family must serve in the industry and is willing to take that money even it if Imperial Army to defend the country from it is a direct investment in the death of movie Northern invaders, Hua Mulan, the eldest daughter theaters and their own eventual ruin. We’re not of an honored warrior, steps in to take the place of saying not to watch movies on demand; we’re just her ailing father. Masquerading as a man, Hua Jun, explaining why you are not seeing these major she is tested every step of the way and must releases in movie theaters. It’s theaters standing harness her inner strength and embrace her true up for their industry. potential. It is an epic journey that will transform her into an honored warrior and earn her the Scream 5 gained a respect of a grateful nation...and a proud father. new cast member in Jack Quaid, who BILL & TED FACE currently stars in THE MUSIC (VOD) Amazon’s dark NOW PLAYING superhero series, The Boys. The highly-antici- The stakes are higher than ever pated horror franchise sequel will be directed for the time-traveling exploits by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, whose of William “Bill” S. Preston Esq. credits include last year’s bloody romp Ready and Theodore “Ted” Logan. Yet to fulfi ll their rock or Not. Original Scream writer Kevin Williamson and roll destiny, the now middle-aged best is producing, and the script comes from writers friends set out on a new adventure when a visitor Guy Busick and James Vanderbilt. Scream fi l m from the future warns them that only their song veterans Courteney Cox and David Arquette can save life as we know it. Along the way, they were both confi rmed to reprise their respective will be helped by their daughters, a new batch of roles. Additional cast includes Jenna Ortega historical fi gures, and a few music legends to seek and Melissa Barrera. Scream 5 is reportedly the song that will bring harmony in the universe. going into production later this year with a Jan. 14, 2022 release. WONDER WOMAN 1984 (PG-13) Black Adam producer THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1 Hiram Garcia hinted Fast forward to the 1980s as at the fi lm’s possible Wonder Woman’s next big connection to the screen adventure fi nds her broader DCEU in a facing an all-new foe: The Cheetah. Principal new interview. The titular character, played by photography is underway on Warner Bros. Dwayne Johnson, will serve as a foil to Zachary Pictures’ follow up to the super hero’s fi rst Levi’s Shazam, whose own ties to Justice League, outing, last summer’s record-breaking Wonder Wonder Woman, and other DCEU fi lms have Woman, which took in $822 million at the never been fully solidifi ed. With the advent of a worldwide box offi ce. Wonder Woman 1984 proper DC multiverse being introduced in 2022’s will also be helmed by acclaimed director Patty The Flash, the possibilities for connecting the Jenkins and star Gal Gadot in the title role. various independent franchises are numerous.

10 eVeNtS 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 ISSue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM Picture Yourself in the Tri-States fueled by...

Senior High School grads Well, we didn’t get of the 700 strong class of We lost a good friend fi reworks on the river, but Radio 1969 had to cancel their and supporter of all things Dubuque still made the skies “community” in Dubuque 50th reunion, but a few got rain U.S. Army Golden Knights a when the retro-culture- together anyway and will try few times in late August! loving cupcake queen, Julie again next year. Potter, passed away recently.

Julie Griffi n and her gal pals Hempstead High School cheerleaders celebrate Dubuque rockers, Menace, take take in some safe socially- the fi rst football game of the season. Yeah it real! Photographer and part part in this year’s Summer’s Last distanced rock and roll from the time insane storm chaser, Mark Blast music festival at the Dubuque Captured by Coach Mandy. Adam Bartles Band at the Sandy Dierker, didn’t even have to leave County Fairgrounds. Hook Tavern on Sunday Funday. town to get this amazing shot!

Radio Dubuque’s Rob Anglin hams it up with fellow golfers at the radio group’s The fi rst massive batch of 1,200 annual fundraiser for the July 3rd fresh-dipped caramel apples sold Fireworks on the River. out in 24 hours at Betty Jane Candies. Yes, they made more!

Epworth is next up to get on the mural bandwagon with this The Rang family checks out the classic ode to the town itself. cool Robot Zoo exhibit on display now at the National Mississippi River Museum & Aquarium. Submit your photo by using

on Social Media! Cover Story ENTERTAINMENT MAKES A SAFE RETURN TO FIVE FLAGS BY BRYCE PARKS

It was the issue of 365ink that never happened. On whole safety protocol regarding artists because unless March 5, we published issue #364 of 365ink and featured they know it’s safe, artists won’t want to come to town.” the biggest spring slate of concerts and live events at When the pandemic first hit in March, Cook and crew Five Flags in their history. Two weeks later, everything scrambled and moved all of their show dates almost stopped in its tracks. None of those events on the cover immediately to the fall, and right now a lot of things are in the last 30 years. This is just the latest adaptation. ever happened. Five Flags shut its doors for what turned still looking good to stick to those dates, though some After 9/11, no one would come to the shows because out to be months. Heck, 365ink shut its doors for months. have pushed to next spiring, some to a year after the they didn’t fell safe. This is the same thing. So we got Since then, despite COVID-19 not going away, life has initial booking date, and just a few have simply cancelled. metal detectors then, and we have masks now. We’re slowly and stutteringly attempted to come back online. “We’re fortunate, and a lot more fortunate than a lot always going to have metal detectors, but this is one While many eateries seem to be back in the black, most of other venues in the United States, especially the Mid- change we can get rid of if everyone plays along and we stages remain silent. At least the indoor ones. As fall west, that we have events still going on. No one wants get past this thing. It’s temporary. We can deal with it.” approaches and kids are back in school, movie theaters to be first to have an event, and we weren’t the first. On By reopening, one thing that Cook and Five Flags opened their doors, and masked locals move ahead the plus side, those events were well attended. On the hopes to be able to do is save the shows that are the carefully into what’s next. Traditional entertainment negative, there was blowback because soul distanc- lifeblood of arts groups, normally in other venues. venues are also looking to make their own comeback. ing protocols were not used or at least not enforced. “There’s a lot of victims to COVID, and it’s not just Five Flags may be the first major indoor venue in I think it’s going to have to be a happy comfort level your parents and grandparents. It’s the non-profits and Dubuque to test the waters. Are people ready to come combination of both of those. We’re taking our events the arts and theaters that can’t open back up because out again and have a good time? Can shows be staged and putting them in the big arena but selling only half they don’t have to capacity to open socially distanced with new social distancing guidelines and still make any the tickets, if that, maximum, to create a spaced out, and still turn a profit. Dubuque has so many counsels money? Can venues host a show safely and effectively? comfortable atmosphere for a good-sized crowd.” and commissions for arts, and it’s time that we help each The Five Flags Center and the Grand Opera House, two Shows at the Five Flags Center will require that other out. Everyone was in their own lane. The casinos of Dubuque’s most well-known entertainment venues, people remain masked unless eating or drinking to did the tribute shows, and the ballet was at the Grand, joined similar facilities in more than 1,500 American cit- further reduce potential issues of contamination. So if Heritage had their focus, and we do our thing, but there’s ies in bringing awareness to the plight of the live events you want to not wear a mask, you would be encour- a lot of things that can’t happen now that might have industry this week. Each location will be lit up in red aged to engage in a lot nacho eating and beer drinking. been fundraisers for these groups. We’re all going to and will display the #WeMakeEvents slogan. For more You might ask, why then have masks at all? The answer have to pitch in and help each other get through this. If information on that initiative, visit WeMakeEvents.org. is that every bit that contact can be limited is greatly we can provide a safe space to allow events to hap- Since initial postponements of Five Flags shows beneficial. Having your mask off for a few minutes versus pen this year that were elsewhere before so they don’t took them from March to June, and then from June to two hours is a huge difference in the potential for spread have to cancel and possibly either not raise money or fall, and now some from fall to as much as a year later if, by chance, a person even had asymptomatic COVID. more critically, lose a ton of investment that has already in 2021, a few shows have hung onto their upcoming And it’s always best to just play it safe and smart. been made, that would be ideal. And then when this is dates, and a couple have even bravely decided to book “We were on track to have a great year, almost over, they can go back to those venues where relation- new performances before the year ends. As September a record year for us. But just like everywhere else, ships existed before and return to business as usual. approaches, many of these previously pushed-back that blew up in our face. But we do have events com- 365ink has written about this before, but in refer- dates at Five Flags are now approaching. And as of the ing up, and we feel good about what we’re doing ence to the detriment of Five Flags, that to some publication of this issue, they are still expecting to open with the protocols and patron safety. If patrons don’t degree it lost its identity. So many venues were cre- and once again put smiles on the faces of Tri-Staters feel safe, they’re not going to come to the show. ated locally with specialized purposes that the catch-all who are hungry for live music and entertainment again. They’re not going to buy the tickets. So we have to that Five Flags was built to be was, to some degree, We sat down with H.R. Cook, General Manager at make sure everybody is ready to return to shows.” not needed for that purpose anymore. Well, here we Five Flags, to ask him the questions you probably all Five Flags already had the Dueling Dogs competi- are just six months later, and that is perhaps exactly have in you minds, get the scoop on what we should tion, and it went off perfectly. Everyone practiced great what we need Five Flags to be once again, for whatever expect from live entertainment coming soon, and what social distancing and wore masks when they needed to. time it takes to return to normal. The arena provides the success or failure of the first shows back means “No one was angry. Everyone gets it. Even the a huge space to house smaller shows in a very spaced for future opportunities into the fall and winter. anti-maskers generally get why it needs to be done out, safe environment so shows don’t have to get “As has been the case with many other venues across and still social distance when it is required. When we cancelled and, just maybe, some of these fundrais- the country, we here at Five Flags have felt the drastic had that event, everybody played along well, and it ers can still take place and be whatever help or sup- impact of the COVID-19 pandemic,” says Cook. “It has showed that we can do this. And if you want con- port they can be to the organization that host them. been nearly six months since we hosted a spectator- certs to come back, you have to abide by the rules.” Check out the slate of upcoming entertain- driven event. That lack of activity has meant a significant Will those rules be in place forever? No, they will not. ment accompanying this story to see what’s on decrease in revenue, staffing cutbacks, and just a lot of “When we stopped allowing smoking in the building, the calendar for Dubuque’s venerable civic arena, uncertainty about the future of our business. The way I people lost their minds. So now you’ve got to go outside. and see your chance to get back to enjoying live see it, the finish line keeps moving. We were supposed You can’t bring in big purses and knives anymore, and entertainment is right around the corner. to be out of this by May, then June, then August, and people lost their minds there, too. But each time they The Five Flags Center is located at 405 Main September. But right now, we are open for business, adapted. Now you have to wear a mask, at least for a St. in Downtown Dubuque, IA. Fees may apply and we have a 50-page safety guideline we give to our while. You have to wear a seatbelt. You have to take off to ticket purchases. Tickets are available at employees and a 400-page guideline of safety protocols your shoes at the airport now. That stuff happens, and Ticketmaster.com. For more information, call we have to implement in the building. And there was a we adapt. Our business has evolved and changed a lot 563-589-4258 or visit FiveFlagsCenter.com. n

12 Cover Story 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 Issue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM CovER stoRY CATFISH COOLEY’S AIR SUPPLY NITRO FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9 @ 7:30 PM FIVE FLAGS ARENA COMEDY TOUR For the fi rst time in nearly 38 years, leg- SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 @ 8 PM endary pop group Air Supply will return FIVE FLAGS THEATER to the Five Flags Center. they take the Catfi sh Cooley’s Nitro Comedy tour arena stage on Friday, Oct. 9 at 7:30 p.m. heads to the Five Flags theater on Air Supply broke out in the united Saturday, Sept. 12 at 8 p.m. the show States in 1980 with the release of their reached the billboard top 10 more than is produced by bang productions and album Lost in Love, which sold more a half-dozen other times with signature features Andrew Conn with DJ Slim experiences center stage, he’s sharing than three million copies. they fol- songs like “All Out of Love,” “Lost in mcGraw and is hosted by Gerard Haran. his comedic journey through unfi ltered lowed that up with two more platinum Love,” “even the Nights are better,” and Comedian Catfi sh Cooley brings videos that are sure to make you laugh. albums—1981’s The One That You Love “making Love Out of Nothing At All.” high energy comedy to his Southern Dee Jay Slim mcGraw was bred on and 1982’s Now and Forever—plus their In addition, the group reached the top following with a punch. Don’t judge music that’s slow roasted and deep fried gold-certifi ed self-titled eff ort in 1985. 40 of the Adult Contemporary chart 15 a book by its cover—he’s not just a like his Southern roots! back home in Air Supply was one of the most times, most recently in 2010 with both guy drinking hot sauce and chug- Charlotte, the non-stop DJ is a resident successful groups of the early 1980s “Dance with me” and “Faith in Love.” ging whiskey; he’s a real storyteller at Whisky river, owned by NASCAr on the singles charts. they hit No. 1 in reserved seats are $42–$98. with a positive message. Cooley has legend Dale earnhardt, Junior. He was 1981 with “the One that You Love” and VIp tickets are $179. n been featured on Tosh.0 and draws recently performed at Dale Junior’s comparisons to Larry the Cable Guy. retirement party alongside Kid rock, Cooley will be joined by comedian Cole Swindell, and billy Currington. Andrew Conn, a Kentucky native, who Gerard Haran is a rising star in the MIDWEST SPRING JAM recently started dominating the stage New York City comedy scene, as well as with his playful personality and comi- a former minor league baseball player. BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY, cal facial expressions. He resembles Gerard is one of his kind—like a chubby, a redneck Jim Carrey. When Andrew bearded unicorn…or something. TWISTA, AND DO OR DIE isn’t busy sharing his off beat, true-life tickets are $23–33. n SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10 @ 8 PM FIVE FLAGS ARENA Hip-hop legends bone thugs-N-Har- mony will be joined by guests twista and Do or Die for the midwest Spring Jam. BEATLES VS. the show will take place on Saturday, Oct. 10 at 8 p.m. at the Five Flags Arena. STONES bone thugs-N-Harmony has been FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 @ 7:30 PM ranked among the greatest rap groups FIVE FLAGS THEATER of all time. the Cleveland-based quin- the two greatest rock ‘n’ roll bands of tet’s breakout album, E. 1999 Eternal, all time face off inBeatles vs. Stones—A topped the billboard albums chart with Musical Showdown on Friday, Sept. 25 hits “1st of tha month,” “east 1999,” and at 7:30 p.m. at the Five Flags theater. with a beatle haircut? this ultimate “tha Crossroads,” which would become For decades, the battle has raged: battle of the bands pits the mop tops the group’s best-performing single. Fellow Chicagoans Do or Die are beatles or Stones? through their heyday, against the bad boys. London against twista has been one of the pre-emi- also longtime veterans of the city’s fans accused London’s rolling Stones Liverpool. Guitars will weep and dice nent names in the Chicago hip-hop scene. hip-hop landscape. their fi rst main- of stealing ideas—even entire albums— will tumble, and in the end, when the His breakout came in 2004 with the stream success came in 1996, when from their Liverpool counterparts. At whip comes down, only one band shall release of Kamikaze and its lead single, their debut single “po pimp” reached the same time, the beatles secretly emerge victorious. Whoever wins, “Slow Jamz.” the followup, “Overnight #22 on the billboard Hot 100 while envied the Stones’ “bad boy” image and the audience is sure to be dazzled by Celebrity,” earned him a Grammy nomi- topping the publication’s rap chart. attitude, often copying their style. both an “electrifying show” (O.C register), nation for best Solo rap performance. tickets are $29–$69. n bands are unmistakably great, scoring with fantastic music, iconic wardrobe an array of hits that changed musical and spot on performances down to history, but only one can be the best. the onstage banter, missed notes and taking the side of the Fab Four is fl ubs heard on the original records. Abbey road, one of the country’s top Will the Stones be yelling for QUAD CON 2020 beatles tribute bands. With brilliant “Help” to fi ght the songwriting HALLOWEEN COMIC AND TOY SHOW musicianship and authentic costumes prowess of Lennon/mcCartney? Or SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31 @ 10 AM–4 PM and gear, Abbey road plays beloved will the beatles cry “Gimme Shel- FIVE FLAGS THEATER songs spanning the beatles’ career. ter” from the relentless sonic bar- Join Quad Con for a pop culture a they engage in a musical “showdown” rage of Jagger/richards classics? Halloween celebration on Satur- of the hits against premier Stones beatles or Stones? You decide! day, Oct. 31 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. tribute band Satisfaction—the Interna- this event is taking the place of the at the Five Flags Arena. the cos- books, pop vinyls, cosplay, board tional rolling Stones Show, who off er postponed In My Life: A Musical The- tume contest begins at 1:30 p.m. games, sci-fi , toys, and much more. a faithful rendition of the music and ater Tribute to The Beatles, which had followed by an indoor safe trick-or- tickets are $5 with free entry style of mick Jagger, Keith richards and been scheduled for Saturday, march treating area and parade at 3 p.m. after 2:30 p.m. If you are inter- the bad boys of the british Invasion. 14. tickets purchased to In My Life will Quad Con is about coming together ested in selling your items, email Would you let your daughter marry be honored at Beatles vs. Stones. and enjoying diff erent aspects of [email protected]. For more a rolling Stone, or your son come home tickets are $35–$65. n pop culture: video games, comic information, visit QuadCityCon.com. n

DUBUQUE365.COM ISSue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE COVer StOrY 13 TRI-STATE LIVE MUSIC

tHu 9/3 Keychella Festival Mark Burke Big Mojo Alecia Taylor @ 12:30 PM 8 PM @ PJ’s Pub, Kieler 5:30 PM @ Jimmy’s Pub, East DBQ Prince Ace @ 1:15 PM DJ Mix @ 2:15 PM The Struggle Tri-State Wind Symphony: Brii Watson @ 2:45 PM 10 PM @ 7 Hills Brewing Co. Two-hundred-fi fty and Kristina Castañeda @ 3:30 PM counting God Hockey @ 4:15 PM SuN 9/6 7 PM @ Eagle Point Park Cory Shoter, A Few Blind Mice, Keychella Drag Brunch Lyric, St. Oshun @ 7 PM 10 AM & Noon @ The Driftless Jef Spradley Comiskey Park 7:30 PM @ Grape Escape Andy Wilberding Kara Gordon 11 AM @ Coconut Cove Resort FrI 9/4 2 PM @ Galena Cellars Vineyard Josh Yeltman Scott Layde 4 PM @ Dimensional Garrett Hillary Noon @ Whitetail Brewing Co. 2 PM @ Grape Escape Bluff Campground

Gypsy & Resident Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends John Moran 6 PM @ 1st & Main 2 & 6 PM @ Council Hill Station Noon @ Galena Cellars Vineyard

Jef Spradley Dirty Water Boys Jimmy Welty Band 6 PM @ Stone Cliff 3 PM @ Coconut Cove Resort 1 PM @ The View, Mud Lake

Boots Hefel & Wayne Cook Band Aaron Smith Open Mic w/ Scott Rische 6 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn 4 PM @ Park Farm Winery 1 PM @ Grape Escape

Danny Parker Project Joie Booth The People 6 PM @ Frentress 6 PM @ Stone Cliff 1 PM @ Cajun Jack’s Lake Bar & Grill The Lonely Goats Cobalt Blue Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends 6 PM @ Frentress 1 PM @ Iron Horse 6 PM @ Council Hill Station Lake Bar & Grill Social Club, Savanna

The Wundos The Element Garrett Hillary 6 PM @ Potosi Brewery 7 PM @ Wicked Dame 1:30 PM @ Fergedaboudit Winery, Hanover Todd McDonough Bryan Popp 7 PM @ Wicked Dame 7 PM @ Dimensional Brewing Co. Mark Zalaznik 2 PM @ Dimensional Jeff Theisen 4th & 20 Brewing Co. 7 PM @ Mid-Town Marina 7 PM @ Massey Fisherman’s Wharf Missbehavin’ A Few Blind Mice 2 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn 7 PM @ Grape Escape Alpha Romeos 7 PM @ Grape Escape Triple Threat SAt 9/5 2 PM @ PromiseLand Winery Tony Walker Johnnie Walker 11 AM @ Coconut Cove Resort 8 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends 2 PM @ Council Hill Station

The Lonely Goats 2 PM @ Hawg Dogs, Savanna

Roy Schroedl & David Minnihan 3 PM @ Stone Cliff

Lojo Russo 3 PM @ Tabor Home Winery

Mick & Gerry Staebell 3 PM @ Sunset Ridge Winery

Amber & Adam 3 PM @ Coconut Cove Resort

14 NIGHtLIFe 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 ISSue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM niGHtliFE

The Wundos Elizabeth Mary mON 9/14 3 PM @ New Diggings 2 PM @ Galena Cellars Vineyard Danny Parker Project General Store 6 PM @ Galena Territory Garrett Hillary Johnnie Walker 2 PM @ Grape Escape WeD 9/16 4 PM @ Park Farm Winery Midweek Market Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends 4 PM @ 11th & Iowa Streets Unicorn Fist 2 & 6 PM @ Council Hill Station 4 PM @ Sandy Hook Tavern tHu 9/17 Jeff Theisen Kristina Castañeda Kittoe Boys 6 PM @ Dimensional Brewing Co. 6 PM @ Grape Escape 4 PM @ Potosi Brewing Co. Tony Walker FrI 9/18 Steve Grismore Jazz Trio 6 PM @ Stone Cliff The Lonely Goats Flatted Fifth Blues & BBQ 4 PM @ Park Farm Winery 5 PM @ Potter’s Mill, Bellevue The Mods 7 PM @ Grape Escape Three Quarter Buzz mON 9/7 6 PM @ Stone Cliff Blueberry Jam: Catfi sh Cooley’s Nitro Comedy Tour Miles Nielsen @ 2 PM 8 PM @ Five Flags Theater Big Mojo Denny Garcia 6 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn Brews Brothers @ 4 PM The Element Sandy Hook Tavern 8 PM @ Southend Tap Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends 6 PM @ Council Hill Station WeD 9/9 DuRocks Midweek Market 8 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn Matt Meyer 4 PM @ 11th & Iowa Streets 7 PM @ Grape Escape Missbehavin’ tHu 9/10 8 PM @ PJ’s Pub, Kieler Rock Steady Jimmy Berg Drums 8 PM @ Southend Tap 5 PM @ Galena Main Street RatchetJaw 9 PM @ Sandy Hook Tavern Hector Anchondo Corey Jenny Flatted Fifth Blues & BBQ 7:30 PM @ Grape Escape SuN 9/13 8 PM @ Potter’s Mill, Bellevue Addison Hill FrI 9/11 Noon @ Potosi Brewery SAt 9/19 Food Truck Fridays: Joie Wails Bob Dorr’s Iowa Music Revue 11 AM @ Washington Park Open Mic w/ Scott Rische 2 PM @ Tabor Home Winery 1 PM @ Grape Escape Steve Cavanaugh & Jeff Theisen Randy Droessler Mark Bateman 2 PM @ Millennium Bar & Marina 6 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn 2 PM @ Dimensional Brewing Co. Bruce Kort The Lonely Goats Steve Cavanaugh & 2 PM @ Galena Cellars Vineyard 6 PM @ Frentress Randy Droessler Lake Bar & Grill Customer Appreciation Party Garrett Hillary 2 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn 2 PM @ Grape Escape Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends 6 PM @ Council Hill Station Jimmy Welty Band Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends 2 PM @ Asbury Eagles Club 2 & 6 PM @ Council Hill Station Elizabeth Mary 7 PM @ Stone Cliff Elizabeth Mary The Lonely Goats 2 PM @ Textile Brewing Co. 2 PM @ Hawg Dogs, Savanna Steve Kalmes 7 PM @ Wicked Dame Not Quite Brothers 8UP 2 PM @ PromiseLand Winery 3 PM @ Hawg Dogs, Savanna Jane Rose 7 PM @ Grape Escape Gladdy, Jamie, & Friends John Moran 2 PM @ Council Hill Station 6 PM @ Stone Cliff Brown Bottle Bandits 8 PM @ Southend Tap Al Ronek Boogie Monster 3 PM @ Stone Cliff 6 PM @ Hilltop, Menominee SAt 9/12 Vice Squad Joie Wails & Noah Kachelski Boys of Lloyd 1 PM @ Iron Horse 3 PM @ New Diggings 7 PM @ Dimensional Social Club, Savanna General Store Brewing Co.

Jimmy Welty Band Hot Mess Renegade 2 PM @ Burkey’s Bar & Grill 4 PM @ Sandy Hook Tavern 8 PM @ Spirits, Days Inn

COVID-19 NOTICE: PLEASE CONTACT THE VENUE TO MAKE SURE THE EVENT IS STILL SCHEDULED

DUBUQUE365.COM ISSue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE NIGHtLIFe 15 Columnists DUBUQUE’S FISH TACO SCENE BY BRYCE PARKS

So we went on the hunt for the tastiest chipotle crema and Cotija cheese. Cotija fish tacos in Dubuqueland. We didn’t is salty, crumbly cheese, sort of like a know that we were in for a lot more mild Mexican grated Parmesan with BACKPOCKET BYTES 1ST & MAIN sampling than we thought we would be. a light flavor. You may have tried it if Somewhere in Baja California, you’ve ever had Mexican street corn. The sometime in the last 40 or 50 years, combination is fantastic. A good por- someone concocted what is generally tion of fish, a zingy sauce that’s not too considered to be the prototypical fish hot, and a slaw that’s not too creamy. taco. According to aficionados, this They come three to an order for $7.50. humble delicacy consists of a lightly What a deal! We wrote about them first battered mild white fish that is deep because they are likely our favorite. fried, then served in a corn tortilla (often But favorite fish tacos is like favor- two) with shredded cabbage, a thin sour ite pizza or favorite crab rangoons. cream- or mayonnaise-based sauce, a Just because you didn’t come in first bit of salsa, and a most vital spritzito of doesn’t mean I don’t love you too! lime. Then they went upscale—out of Sticking with the fried fish taco the fryer and onto the grill. These new theme, we move on down to 1st & Main HOULIHAN’S FAT TUESDAY’S heart-friendly tacos may be healthier, where their batter fried fish tacos are but they tend to lose their soul along also simply delish. Fried tilapia (and with the fat. Done right, however, a decent portion of it) is served with grilled fish tacos can taste mighty good, a unique jalapeño slaw and cusabi authenticity issues notwithstanding. dressing for $11. Cusabi is a mix of But which is best? Even after I cucumber, wasabi, and fresh lime, usu- finish writing this, I know there will ally mixed with sour cream or mayo. be no consensus because you pesky It’s light and fresh with zip. You will people with the “freewill” and “per- like it! The tacos come on four torti- sonal preferences” will have your own llas with two to an order. What can I favorites based on your own likes and say, deep fried fish is a flavor hard to dislikes. So the best I can hope to do beat. It’s a little bit greasy but a lot a is tell you about each of the ones we bit yummy. So these aren’t diet tacos, tasted and let your fish taco radar buy hey. This isn’t a diet taco article. WEST DUBUQUE TAP HOPS & RYE guide you to what your brain, heart, Heading to Chaplain Schmitt Island and gut tell you is your happy place. next to Q Casino, the fish tacos at Houli- Also, this article is throwing “tra- han’s are pretty good fried fish tacos as ditional” to the wind. There is no “this well. Not quite up there with 1st and Main, is they way they have been made but we were not disappointed. Their So. for a thousand years” bologna, and Cal Fish Tacos, as they call them, feature you can’t change traditional. Flavor panko-breaded North Atlantic cod, chi- is flavor, and tasty wins the day. So potle mayo, napa cabbage, honey cumin the rules are out the door, and pre- dressing, and sour cream for $12.65. So conceived notions of fish tacos be a slightly different kind of fried there damned. We just want goodness. with the panko instead of the batter. I We were inspired to go on our fish guess I’m just a beer batter kind of guy, taco tour after featuring the fish tacos Fat Tuesday’s and the West Dubuque at the new Backpocket Bytes in the Tap both have battered fish tacos on LOS AZTECAS FIESTA CANCUN last issue. We loved them and started the menu. We like both, but we would comparing them to local venues. classify them under the “we have all the So we will begin our tour there. stuff here to technically make a fish taco, Located in the Novelty Iron Works let’s make fish tacos” category. I would building in the Historic Millwork District, call them both good, safe Midwestern Backpack Bytes is only open Friday versions of a fish taco. No lime creama, and Saturday evenings and for lunch cilantro, or cojita cheese here. Using Saturday and Sunday, so the avail- the ingredients on hand to finish off the ability of these fishy lumps of love are taco, you get a well-stacked serving of a rather limited but worth seeking out. tasty but not particularly unique flavor. They feature a lightly beer battered cod Up on University Ave., Fat’s serving using their own Gold Coin lager. It lays seemed like nacho toppings on a fish on a bed of light slaw on either twin taco with black olives, jalapeños, sour corn or single flour street-taco sized cream, and lettuce, finishing off the COPPER KETTLE YARDARM BAR & GRILL tortillas and finished with a very tasty large flour tortilla and generous piece

16 Columnists 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 Issue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM Columnists of whitefish for about $5.50. Just west from Los Azrtecas on the side. I suppose of there on Asbury Rd., West Dubuque Fiesta Cancun might have a similar sauce Tap features the sweet coleslaw you’ll I could ask for. Overall though, they were get served as a side to you other favorite not our favorite fish tacos in the area. Tap meals plus fried cod that people That’s okay though. I love the carnitas love from the Ginter gals, along with as Los Aztecas enough that’s it’s hard melted cheese, lettuce, and a very not to just get those every time anyway. mildly flavored Baja sauce. They call We noticed later that the fish tacos it “a fish taco that anyone would like,” on the menus of the two Los Aztecas and we did like it. In other words, “Dad locations in Dubuque were not the same. safe.” It wasn’t fancy or unique, but it We went to the Asbury location. The was familiar and filling. They are $4 Dodge St. location lists tarter sauce as a and only available on Tuesday nights. side along with the tomatillo sauce. Los I must admit. We’ve not been to Aztecas were $11.99. Fiesta Cancun’s Hops & Rye since COVID hit. On the dinner was $10.99, but the lunch version, corner of 11th and Locust St., they’re not which we were told was the same, was always open for lunch, but before this $7.99. So, um, we got that! Note that went down, we enjoyed their unique both of these options came with Mexican fish tacos. The fish was not fried, but rice and refried beans on the side. the flour tortillas shell was. Fried flour Our favorite baked fish tacos came shells are so wonderfully yummy and from Copper Kettle, out on 30th and bad for you. They’ve changed it up a Jackson St. Very large while fillets of couple times. It used to be one giant tilapia were Cajun seasoned and served fried shell and more recently it was on a corn-flour mix tortilla with let- two medium shells with baked white tuce, pico de gallo, cilantro, pesto, and fish, finished with lettuce, pico de gallo, served with house made tortilla chips jack cheddar, and sour cream for $10. and salsa for $9.95. We just loved how It was kind of like a salad in a delicious big the fish was, and the flavor was fried shell. I would like to have more great. It wasn’t hidden in a pile of slaw fish in there and have asked in the past or covered in a sauce to take over the to pay for extra fish. But the flavor is flavor. They have good tasting fish and good, and we think you’ll enjoy a plate they know it. Problem is, the seared of them out on their nice patio before ahi tuna bowl there is so good too that the weather changes. They’re listed I’m torn as to which fish dish to get! under appetizers on the menu, so your The only fish tacos we really didn’t conscience could even allow you to eat care for were at Yardarm on Dubuque’s them and then eat something else too! northend. The slaw was too heavily One day we had lunch in Asbury at doused with the chipotle mayo sauce, Los Aztecas and Fiesta Cancun back-to- and the fish was too close to fish sticks back to try and compare their fish tacos for our liking. But hey, there are enough on the same day, so that was fun. Each very tasty sammiches on their menu for of these options was a very traditional you to worry. Go for one of them instead Mexican preparation with some subtle and you’ll be happier. If they put the big differences. Both feature a baked white fresh shrimp they serve on those skew- fish on double soft corn tortillas. ers in a taco, that would be worth a visit. Los Aztecas came with cilantro So we ate a LOT of fish tacos in the and a side of sauce. The server called last week or so and I must say, I’m not it tomatillo sauce, but I thought it tired of them at all. I could have them was closer to an adobo sauce. Either for lunch today and be quite thrilled way, the fish was very bland and the with the notion. If you’ve been holding cilantro and sauce were what really out on the fish taco train, we think it’s provided the flavor in them. Fiesta time you climb aboard. Go for tasty fried Cancun’s white fish was baked but love or basked light and healthy and maybe finished in a pan with some see which fish taco floats your boat. oil because it was more flavorful and If we missed a great place, we’d came with pico de gallo but no sauce. like to hear about it. Please send In a perfect world, I would have liked us a note on Facebook or email Fiesta Cancun’s fish tacos with the sauce [email protected]. n

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DUBUQUE365.COM Issue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE Columnists 17 Columnists GRANDPA’S GUN BY MATT BOOTH

Occasionally, I lose perspective, get down, and have one of those days. this seems to be happening more often in the COVID-19 era. With all the change, uncertainty, and complication, it is easy to fall prey against unity. right now, the united States is polarized by fear, politicalized by anger, and radicalized by injustice. During these times, I fi nd sol- When you see something needing ace from my Grandpa’s old Winchester change or improvement, do not idly sit .22 rifl e that hangs on my offi ce wall. by, complain, and gripe. roll up your Grandpa died almost a year ago and sleeves and act. It is your responsibility as the son of a lead miner, his child- to speak up, join a group, serve, donate hood was extremely tough. there your time and money, and protest. wasn’t much money left from his dad’s most people in the united States can’t paycheck after he got home from the imagine what it would be like to not pub. Grandpa wasn’t allowed to start have shoes, food on the table, or suicide fi rst grade because he didn’t have shoes. bombers attacking you. Grandpa’s gun is When he fi nally had shoes, Grandpa a stark reminder of how hard life was in carried his gun to and from school each our country only a couple of short gen- day. the good Lord only knows all the erations ago. I can take it down and hold stories his gun could tell. If he didn’t it just as he did. It’s almost like he is here shoot a rabbit, squirrel, pheasant, or with me. that old Winchester is imbued some type of game along the way, with his spirit. It’s a tangible connec- there was no meat to eat that night. tion to the diffi culties he went through. When duty called, Grandpa joined the I’ve traveled enough around the Navy in WWII and fought in the pacifi c. world to witness and understand that we As a gunner’s mate, one of Grandpa’s live in a great country! the greatest? I jobs was to shoot down suicide Kami- can’t say because I haven’t been every- kaze planes. A person thanked him where. If you doubt or do not believe once for fi ghting for our country. His me, get yourself a passport and travel. response: “I was fi ghting for my friends You’ll fi nd out, despite our country’s next to me…I was fi ghting to go home!” faults, most people would happily trade In the storm we call 2020, it is easy places with you. If you’ve lost perspec- to forget how good we have it in the tive, I’m challenging you to think of u.S. I get caught up like anyone else and somebody or something in your family complain about my fi rst world prob- history representing the tough times our lems like wearing a mask, running out country has been through. maybe that of toilet paper, buying school supplies, will inspire you, like my Grandpa’s gun, slow Wi-Fi, social distancing, and getting to put in the work to make the changes car warranty spam calls. right now, at and improvements our country needs? n recess, our boys can’t even play on the monkey bars at school. Oh, the horror! the united States is a work in progress. Are there changes and “Some people can fi nd the cloud in improvements to make? Dang right! every silver lining.” —Matt Booth

MATT BOOTH tO FIND Out HOW mAtt CAN HeLp YOur GrOup ImprOVe tHeIr AttItuDeS IN A NeGAtIVe WOrLD, CALL 563-590-9693 Or emAIL [email protected]. “MATT IS ARTICULATE, ENGAGING, FLEXIBLE, AND JUST A GREAT GUY! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND HIM FOR ANY AUDIENCE, IN PERSON OR VIRTUALLY, AND I GUARANTEE HEARING THIS MESSAGE WILL INCREASE THE MORALE OF YOUR TEAM.” —JENNIFER L. MURPHY, SR. DIRECTOR COMMERCIAL OPERATIONS, THERMO FISHER SCIENTIFIC

18 COLumNIStS 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 ISSue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM Columnists SAY GOODBYE TO SUMMER BY HY-VEE NUTRITIONISTS MEGAN HORSTMAN (ASBURY) AND AMY CORDINGLEY (LOCUST)

Labor Day may be the unofficial end of summer, but adding fiber, the slaw adds interesting flavor and tex- that doesn’t have to dampen your celebration. Your ture. Plus pineapple is an excellent source of vitamin local Hy-Vee registered dietitian has some tips for C, which helps improve absorption of the iron from the including healthy dishes at your next cookout. And turkey. Smell the bottom of a pineapple when select- check out the sweet and spicy Chipotle Turkey Slid- ing the fruit to help check on ripeness. Ripe pineapple ers at Hy-Vee.com that are so good they just might will typically smell slightly sweet on the bottom. make you forget you’re saying goodbye to summer! GO WITH THE WHOLE GRAIN KEEP IT LEAN Whole-wheat buns provide more fiber than refined. Ground turkey is an excellent source of lean pro- The daily fiber recommendation is 38 grams for men tein and a healthy alternative to ground beef. Turkey and 25 grams for women. Dietary fiber helps reduce burgers can dry out if overcooked. Adding chopped levels of cholesterol in the blood and may lower the risk onions to the ground meat helps keep the burger of heart disease. For a lower-carb option, serve these moist. The best way to test doneness is to use a meat sliders without the top bun or skip the bun entirely. thermometer to make sure you’re cooking the burg- ers to 165°. Sliders are meant to be smaller than typical SENSIBLE SIDES burgers, with just 2 ounces of meat per patty. They’re Throw some fruit on the grill for a refreshing des- a great dish to serve to help with portion control. sert. Pair raw veggies with a variety of dips, such as hummus, salsa and guacamole. n SLATHER ON THE SLAW & PILE ON THE PINEAPPLE Think about those toppings! Adding coleslaw to these The information is not intended as medical advice. Please sliders is a great way to sneak in some veggies. Besides consult a medical professional for individual advice.

the happiness (and, of course, productivity) of each person on the payroll. Some folks had a problem with I MISS YOU. YES, YOU. one perennial statement: “I have a best friend at work.” BY PAM KRESS-DUNN The CEO finally had to explain that didn’t mean “I work with my BFF.” It meant you had someone, somewhere in The photos in last week’s New York Times are startling: Every job is different, and I’m not talking about toiling the building, you felt good about, someone to share con- a desk missing a laptop, its cords dangling free. A in a factory, though my dad told enough entertaining cerns and celebrate little joys with. It took a while, but I dead mouse by the copier. Plants brown and crackling, stories about his decades as a millwright at Alcoa to help found that person. Jayne worked near me, for the same inches from a watering can of stale water. The end me understand it was not all drudgery. My job was a boss but doing something else. One day she came into times? Sort of. Welcome to the office buildings of March luxury in many ways. While I had to be there from 8 a.m. my office, noticed a pile of stones, and knew instantly 2020, hastily abandoned on a sudden call from the to 4:30 p.m., with half an hour for an unpaid lunch, I had we were simpatico. I said, “Let me show you something governor (not ours) to shelter at home. Some workers my own domain, a medical library I managed the heck else!” and led her to enormous sixth-floor windows to had time to grab the essentials—a jacket, sunglasses, out of. I did the thing I went to graduate school for—help look down on a row of artfully planted shrubs. We soon datebook—but others had no warning, being told to people by hunting down the information they absolutely found we had much more in common than a love of stay home a day after leaving for the weekend. need. The only medical librarian in town, I wasn’t lonely nature, and I mourned the day she left for Minnesota. A Times survey reveals that 86 percent of people at all. I met monthly with a swell bunch of people who One day at those same windows (they were on the now working from home are satisfied with remote did the same thing I did, albeit for a different audience— way to the restroom), I saw a flock of turkey vultures work. Three-quarters report their productivity is the public librarians, college librarians, seminary librarians. circling. A man I hardly knew from IT walked by and said, same or better. Some researchers say this was already We spoke each other’s language. We gave each other “You can’t tell me they’re not having fun.” Later that coming, and those planning for the future of work advice and used book carts, and plenty of moral support. year, I stood transfixed at those windows, watching the need to wake up and smell the coffee—the kind we It’s the other kind of companionship, though, that first big snowflakes fall. I didn’t know he was there until brew in our kitchens, not the breakroom Keurig. I miss the most. It’s all about the people who worked we both turned to go back to our work. “Queen Anne’s I understand. Work can be the place where you sit in the same building, though not in my office. (I only lace,” I said, and he smiled. These chance encounters are and long to be at home, where you can set your own ever had one assistant, a lovely woman I’m afraid I a part of work we might not even know we miss, whether schedule, take a walk around the block to clear your drove away because I wanted to do everything myself.) we are home on quarantine or retirement. People mat- head, be there when the Lowe’s truck arrives with the I miss talking about the early morning rain with the ter. Not just our friends, but the ones we pass on the new fridge. The occasional snow day or even sick day, other people sprinting from their cars to the front door. street, in the hall. I hope we get back to that soon. n if all you’ve got is a lousy cold, can feel like bliss. I miss greeting the nurses in the hallway clad in their But take if from me. Even if you, like me, are able to retire hairnets and scrubs. I miss stopping to take a request early, before your boss says you have to, and even if that is for research from a doctor in a hurry to his rounds. I not a hardship because you have enough to pay the bills and miss running into someone from finance as we dropped then some, not working can be a loss. I’m not just talking our Netflix envelopes into the lobby mail slot, asking, PAM KRESS-DUNN about not doing a job, but about doing it the way we all did “What did you watch?” I miss talking about grandkids PAM BELIEVES THAT IF SHE DOESN’T before this strange new reality. I mean going to work, park- with the pathologist in the gym as we walked (okay, WRITE ABOUT IT, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. SHE ing in the lot, walking into the building, addressing the time he ran) side by side on the employee treadmills. WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINION clock, striding down the hall, turning on the lights, opening Every year, we had to complete an employee engage- ON ANYTHING SHE WRITES, OR, REALLY, the shades, turning the sign from “Closed” to “Come In!” ment survey, a series of statements designed to measure ANYTHING AT ALL, AT [email protected]

DUBUQUE365.COM Issue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE Columnists 19 PUZZLE PAGE

WHERE’S GENERAL BOB? General Bob is out and about. Do you know where he’s at?

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 22 Columnists IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED… BY BOB GELMS

Crusader by Paul Bannister is the first makes it much in a five-novella series following the more interest- exploits of Frederick Banastre and his ing because it’s good friend Henry the II’s son, Richard I. largely true. It is the 12th century, and the first Henry II crusade was a bust. The second had a brood of crusade was another failure. The third children with at crusade was on the horizon, and quite least six different a few knights were taking long vaca- women. The only tions. Henry II had assumed the throne tarnish on the in England which the Normans had armor of the Lionheart was his procliv- conquered in 1066. I am not sure, but I ity for young boys. The Church made think that was at the battle of Hastings. him do public penance for sodomy. Being a first generation Irish American, Anyone else would have been burned I am about as interested in the British at the stake. Rank has its privileges. monarchy as I am in eating fried squid. This part is history not fiction. Richard I was a force of nature. He Happily the story starts at the begin- raised and commanded his own army ning, and this first installment ends at when he was 16. He grew to be six feet, the third Crusade. I have read all five five inches tall, lean, handsome, with novellas and, obviously, you must read a crop of Golden red hair. In single them in order. They are all fairly short, combat or as Commander of his army, between 100 to 150 pages. They are well he was undefeated. His enemies were written, and there is plenty of action. The so frightened that they lost control characters are three dimensional, and I of their bodily functions. He was kind found myself rooting for a few of them. and munificent toward all of his con- Everyone is flawed in some way, and it quered kingdoms with the exception affects the way they look at the world. of England. He treated the English Now, we are reading about the as if they were sub-human, animals Christian perspective of the Crusades. really. Richard I reined for 10 years. It might come off as racist, but so is the He spent no more than six months in perspective of the Islamic armies that England even though he was the king. are holding Jerusalem and the surround- He would become the most famous ing environs. There is enough hatred, King of England, earning the impressive religious bigotry, and death to go around nickname Richard Coeur de Lion which for everyone involved. The Crusades are translates as Richard the Lionheart. a low point for Islam and Christianity. Some say that the most famous king One thing I absolutely loved about of England was King Arthur. Scholars Paul Bannister’s Crusader is that I tell us that Arthur was no more than learned quite a bit about the Norman a myth. The whole sword in the stone kings of England all surrounded by top story was actually about some Italian notch action. Henry II, the old man, guy despite Walt Disney and T.H. White. was one of the best kings of England, INTERESTING THOUGHT: The Nor- and he wasn’t even English. His son, mans treated the English just like the Henry III, was an unmitigated wastrel. English treated the Irish and the state Henry II’s other son and Henry III’s of Israel is treating the Palestinians; younger brother was the Lionheart, Europeans treating Native Americans; and he had to tip toe around fam- the Spanish in South America; Nazis ily vipers and a political climate in all treating Jews; the list is endless. No his kingdoms that makes gathering matter how much things change, some all Trump’s ex-wives and the current things will always remain the same. one for a quaint family dinner a little There is enough intrigue in Crusader like beating your privates with a bat. to fill the White House. There is mur- All five of the novellas are quick der, palace conspiracies pitting brother reads and entertaining as all get out. against brother, sons and daughters You can do a lot worse in the time and Mom against Dad, illicit sex, torture, of COVID than reading them back to heroes and villains. You know, a little back. What else do you have to do? something for everybody. This series Watching reruns of Criminal Minds is firmly set as historical fiction. That has me looking for an attorney. n

DUBUQUE365.COM Issue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE Columnists 21 Columnists w Gwen Danzig’s w Good Advice

DEAR GWEN, personally in addition to working with big My social skills have been destroyed by isolation. groups to make the world a better place. I need I went and got my hair done for the fi rst time something just for me to give me some balance. since February and I felt like an alien. I don’t know What can I do? Where should I start? how to talk to people without either talking too —Yours, Level Up on Langworthy much or too little, I’ve lost all volume control, I overshare. I’m a disaster! I used to feel like I was DEAR LEVEL UP ON outgoing and good at being social, but now, LANGWORTHY, despite my early quarantine stir-craziness, I just You are talking to the queen of Stay Busy Until want to be home all the time. How can I rebuild You Feel Better. Here is a list of things I got those social skills with the limited socializing I’m extremely into for a brief period of time in order able to do right now? to maintain some semblance of sanity. More —Sincerely, Alien near the Arboretum often than not, they didn’t actually provide any sanity and only lasted for a matter of weeks, but I DEAR ALIEN, believe in you more than I believe in me: learning I’m going to reveal something to you right now. to reupholster furniture, rock collecting, getting When’s the last time you saw me in person? Not in licensed in BOTOX, knitting, playing Magic the a picture, not a video. In person. You haven’t, huh? Gathering, becoming a bug scientist, perfecting If you did, did we hug? We didn’t, did we? I’ve apple fritters, getting another undergrad degree, been a disembodied loudmouth since 2012 when sewing my own clothes, learning to twerk, getting those scientists started screwing with the God a masters degree, becoming a rapper, learning to particle. While your consciousness got thrown bind books, understanding quantum mechanics, into a weird new timeline that removed Shazaam repainting my entire downstairs, becoming a featuring Sinbad from reality, my consciousness yoga instructor, going to trade school, quilting, got stuck in this original trajectory by myself and becoming a drag king, learning to pick locks, all I can do is yell over to your side. Why do you starting a podcast, selling macramé on Etsy. think I write this advice column? Not much to do over here in an alternate timeline when the rest These are some high quality almost-30 crises of you moved to the Berenstain universe. I’ve for you, and I feel like they can be used for gotten so good at deep fakes and holograms that good and not evil. Maybe pick just one, though. my very own mom thinks I live on the North End. I have hundreds of dollars in book binding and reupholstering equipment in a box in my I’m telling you this because no one needs to see shed, plus the momentary rap moment was you. You don’t have to be seen. Volume control? embarrassing. Nobody saw or knew about it, it Doesn’t matter when you’re screaming into the was just unbearably embarrassing, haven’t looked void after being abandoned in an original timeline. at myself in the mirror in years. Oversharing? Hah, have you met me? So keep —xoxo Gwen your fi ngers crossed, they aren’t done with that Higgs boson and you could be me in the very near future. It’s 2020, baby. Haven’t we learned to not underestimate her yet? GWEN BEATTY —xoxo Gwen GWeN beAttY IS A SOrOrItY DrOpOut AND CrYbAbY, reADY AND WILLING DEAR GWEN, tO bOSS YOu ArOuND. IF YOu WANt I need a goal. Everything is so chaotic right tO teLL Her SHe’S prettY, emAIL now, I feel like I need to work toward something [email protected].

PUZZLE ANSWERS

GeNerAL bOb IS At tHe DubuQue muSeum OF Art

22 COLumNIStS 365INK MAGAZINE September 3–September 16, 2020 ISSue #371 DUBUQUE365.COM Columnists

ARIES arrests will give you a good gauge of what (MAR 21–APR 19) you can get away with in terms of where Under the glow of today’s and how you’re using peanut butter. collaborative moon, you still won’t be able to ride a tandem bicycle without either crying SCORPIO or making someone else cry. Luckily, like the (OCT 23–NOV 21) good point of having a drummer around, Your lucky number is written in the you can always blame someone else. stars, but I can’t tell it to you unless you call a number that’s going to charge you $2.49 for the TAURUS first minute and then $1.49 for every additional (APR 20–MAY 20) minute. For an extra $19.95, I’ll read your lucky Too many cooks won’t spoil the number to you in a sensual voice. For an extra broth, but it all depends on how you cook them. $199.95, I’ll read your super duper lucky number.

GEMINI SAGITTARIUS (MAY 21–JUNE 20) (NOV 22–DEC 21) In building your perspective, make Don’t be stubborn about trying sure to welcome diverse voices into your project or to do everything all alone. Instead, just mission and then completely ignore them as soon keep insisting that Total Recall isn’t a great as they say anything you don’t agree with. Don’t movie and you won’t have to worry about let any person, empathy, or common sense stand anyone wanting to help you do anything. in your way of becoming President someday. CAPRICORN CANCER (DEC 22–JAN 19) (JUNE 21–JULY 22) Today, with a visionary Don’t be too quick to silence people moon in your expansive ninth house, the because they aren’t “making sense.” Like, be quick cosmic message is clear: get a life. to silence them, but not too quick. You can learn a lot by being duct taped to things as a youth. AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 18) LEO If something is worth doing at all, (JULY 23–AUG 22) it’s worth doing in a way that makes people You’re closer than you realize think that you’re so cool that they should only to reaching a professional goal, assuming approach or speak to you in a way that shows that goal is “underachieving or living in they know how pathetic they are so that you fear of underachieving, to a point where can crush them like the tiny, sub-humans they there’s no joy to be had in any facet of your are, but in a gracious way. Stay humble! life because capitalism is a joke with no punchline. Keep hard on the hustle! PISCES (FEB 19–MAR 20) VIRGO You could be inspired to plan a (AUG 23–SEP 22) road trip, take a workshop, or even attempt You’re famous for your to live in a world where racists are afraid to tenacity, which is just a nice way of saying do anything except crawl into a hole and that nobody wants to go mini-golfing huff their own farts for nourishment. with you or help you move a fridge.

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22) RYAN WERNER When everyone makes a mass RYAN WERNER IS A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER, exit for the outdoors, seize the moment and ATTITUDE EXPERT AND PROBLEM SOLVER. start leaving doors open that you would HE ENGAGES, ENTERTAINS AND EDUCATES normally close. The more time between your AUDIENCES AROUND THE WORLD.

DUBUQUE365.COM Issue #371 September 3–September 16, 2020 365INK MAGAZINE Columnists 23