My Jewish Year
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6.125 × 9.25 SPINE: 1.125 $22.95 MY JEWISH JEWISH MY Praise for MY JEWISH YEAR: “With wit, warmth, and the fierce, searching 18 HOLIDAYS, ONE WONDERING JEW curiosity that is her trademark, Abigail Pogrebin takes us on an intimate, powerful journey as she WISH Y reckons with her faith and commitment, and in so “To understand the Jewish calendar, Abigail Pogrebin immersed herself in its JE E doing, gives us the gift of exploring our own. rhythms and rituals for a full 12 months. Her riveting account of this experience A This book will speak to everyone who wonders why serves as a lively introduction to Judaism’s holidays and fast days and opens a Y R we do what we do, and isn’t content with window on how Judaism is actually lived in 21st-century America.” the answer that our fathers and mothers did JONATHAN D. SARNA M — , Professor of American Jewish History, it before us. I absolutely loved it.” laris K Brandeis University; author of American Judaism: A History —DANI SHAPIRO, author of Devotion Y O L RIN “A superb point-of-entry volume for anyone who wants to bring Jewish holidays E A BIGAIL POGREBIN A SPIRITED CHRONICLE OF , a former into their lives, and a great refresher course for veterans who need their holidays AR THE AUTHOR’S DEEP DIVE INTO 60 Minutes producer, is the author of Stars of re-energized. Pogrebin’s style is engaging, and her insights are deep.” David: Prominent Jews Talk About Being Jewish —RABBI JOSEPH TELUSHKIN, author of Rebbe and Jewish Literacy THE HEART OF JUDAISM. (Doubleday/Broadway Books), which went into eight hardcover printings, was featured on Good “In My Jewish Year, Abigail Pogrebin takes on the holiday cycle with a keen Although she grew up with some basic holiday Morning America and Charlie Rose, and was mind, an open heart, and a generous sense of humor. This is the perfect gift for rituals, Pogrebin realized how little she knew about adapted for the Off-Broadway stage in a Daryl anyone thinking about moving up another rung on the ladder of Jewish the origins, purpose, and current relevance of the Roth production. Pogrebin’s second book was a observance—or for exploring the tradition for the first time.” entire Jewish calendar. She wanted to understand deep examination of twinship titled One and —JOSHUA MALINA, actor in Scandal and The West Wing what had kept the oldest traditions vibrant and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What POGREBIN AIL A the more-recently-added holidays urgent. She em- I’ve Learned About Everyone’s Struggle to Be BIG barked on an entire year of research, observance, Singular, published in 2009 and featured on “Abigail Pogrebin’s candid exploration of Judaism via 18 core holidays is not only and writing about every ritual, fast, and festival in The Today Show and NPR and in Newsweek. informative but also extremely relatable, for Jews and non-Jews alike. Her journey one Jewish year. This immersive exploration, first Pogrebin is also the author of “Showstopper,” a to locate modern-day meaning in these religious traditions—some of which chronicled in a popular series for the Forward, is bestselling Kindle Single about her adventure in are thousands of years old—is both relevant and soulful.” 1 now greatly expanded in My Jewish Year, infused the original cast of the Sondheim misfire, —LAUREN BUSH LAUREN, Founder and CEO, FEED Projects 8 with even deeper layers of meaning and more “Merrily We Roll Along.” She has written for H W intimate—often surprisingly humorous—details of numerous publications including Newsweek, E “Abigail Pogrebin’s journey through the Jewish year is honest, illuminating, entertaining, O J her personal story. New York magazine, The Daily Beast, the Forward, L and incredibly brave. She is willing to go deep into a complex religious culture to find G Whether you’re seeking an accessible, digest- and Tablet. She lives in New York with her family. I out if and how it has meaning for her, and in so doing, lights the way for the rest of us. D N ible roadmap for Jewish life or a fresh take on what AY R I Even if you read every word of her project in the Forward—as I did—you will find S , O D E you’ve been practicing for a lifetime, Pogrebin’s new material and so many fresh, surprising insights in this remarkable book.” N E W O N journey will leave you educated, charmed, and in- JANE EISNER, Jacket design by Jennifer Carrow — Editor-in-Chief, Forward spired. Jacket illustration by Anna_leni / Shutterstock A BIGAIL POGREBIN FOREWORD BY A. J. JACOBS www.figtreebooks.net More Praise For The Books Of Abigail Pogrebin Stars of David “Consistently engaging . Pogrebin says this book grew out of her efforts to clarify her own Jewish identity. But you don’t need to be on such a quest to enjoy the wide range of experiences and feelings recorded here.” —Publishers Weekly “Pogrebin, a former producer for Charlie Rose and 60 Minutes, had the tools to push her interviewees beyond their comfort zone.” —Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles “...a wide and interesting variety of stories about faith and the lack there- of, family memory, ritual, continuity, and the choices they have made. ” —The Jewish Week One and the Same “An enchanting, fascinating book.” —Lesley Stahl, 60 Minutes “Spot on. An honest explanation of how multiples feel about the relation- ship into which they were born.” —Newsweek “One and the Same is a touching, funny, smart book, written with con- siderable flair. Though it contains medical, social, political, and historical perspectives, it is at its core a book about love and intimacy.” —Andrew Solomon, author of Far from the Tree “An immensely satisfying, enlightening read.” —BookPage “This book about what it means to be a duplicate is smart and revealing and wise—and, well, singular.” —The Daily Beast 7975 MyJewishYear_FIN_revised.indd 1 12/22/16 4:45 PM 1 8 H W O E L J I G D A I N Y S , E R O N E W O N D 7975 MyJewishYear_FIN_revised.indd 2 12/22/16 4:09 PM ABIGAIL POGREBIN FOREWORD BY A. J. JACOBS MY JEWISH YEAR 1 8 H W O E L J I G D A I N Y S , E R O N E W O N D BEDFORD, NEW YORK 7975 MyJewishYear_FIN_revised.indd 3 12/22/16 4:09 PM Bedford, New York Copyright © 2017 by Abigail Pogrebin All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Fig Tree Books LLC, Bedford, New York www.FigTreeBooks.net Jacket design by Jenny Carrow Interior design by Neuwirth & Associates, Inc. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available Upon Request ISBN number 978-1-941493-20-5 Printed in the United States Distributed by Publishers Group West 10987654321 7975 MyJewishYear_FIN_revised.indd 4 12/22/16 4:09 PM CONTENTS FOREWORD: A. J. Jacobs vii Introduction: How Did I Get Here? 3 1 | Prepping Rosh Hashanah: Self-Flagellation in Summer 21 2 | Post–Rosh Hashanah: Tossing Flaws and Breadcrumbs 33 3 | The astF of Gedaliah: Lessons of a Slain Governor 43 4 | TheTruth about Yom Kippur: Death and More Death 49 5 | Yom Kippur Letdown: Maybe Next Year 59 6 | Sukkot in LA: Serious Sukkah Envy 75 7 | Hoshanah Rabbah & Shemini Atzeret: Left Out, Then Lingering 87 8 | Simchat Torah: The Mosh Pit 95 9 | Hanukkah Reconsidered: A Split in the Jewish Soul 105 10 | Hanukkah at the Bedside and the White House: Unexpected Light 117 11 | The enthT of Tevet: Starting the Secular Year Hungry 125 12 | Slouching toward Shabbat: The Most Important Holiday of All 135 v 7975 MyJewishYear_FIN_revised.indd 5 12/22/16 4:09 PM vi CONTENTS 13 | Tu B’Shvat: Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut 145 14 | Tzom Esther & Purim: Preparing to Fast and Spiel 159 15 | The Purim Report: Mirth and Melancholy 169 16 | Passover: Scallions and Rare Silences 177 17 | The Feminist Passover: A (Third) Seder of Her Own 197 18 | Yom HaShoah: “We Did More Than Survive” 207 19 | Yom HaZikaron & Yom Ha’atzmaut: For the Fallen and the Free—Israel’s Memorial & Independence Days 219 20 | Lag B’Omer: R-E-S-P-E-C-T 229 21 | Activist Shabbat: Friday Night with the Kids 241 22 | Sleepless on Shavuot: Let My People Learn 251 23 | 17th of Tammuz: Another Fast, Seriously? 263 24 | Tisha B’Av: Mourning History, Headlines, and Hatred 269 25 | My Shabbat Landing: Comforting Consistency 279 Epilogue: Where Did I End Up? 285 Acknowledgments 293 APPENDIX 1: A Jewish Year in Bullet Points 297 APPENDIX 2: Interviews 301 APPENDIX 3: Bibliography 304 APPENDIX 4: Glossary 307 APPENDIX 5: Web Links for the Basics 324 About the Author 326 7975 MyJewishYear_FIN_revised.indd 6 12/22/16 4:45 PM FOREWORD A. J. JACOBS bby Pogrebin subtitles her book 18 Holidays, One Wonder- Aing Jew. Which is an excellent way to describe it. But let me break her year down a little further for you. We’re talking a year filled with: ■ Fifty-one rabbis ■ Six days of fasting ■ Countless prayers ■ One day without deodorant ■ A couple of barrels of booze (Shabbat wine and Simchat Torah scotch among them) ■ Untold amounts of revelation, joy, and, of course, guilt In short, a lot of Judaism. We’re talking an Ironman triathlon of holiday observance (or so it seems to those of us not brought up Orthodox). For most of her life, Abby was only loosely connected to her heri- tage.