The Experience of Being Thrown Back
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Duquesne University Duquesne Scholarship Collection Electronic Theses and Dissertations Fall 2011 The Experience of Being Thrown Back in Encounters for Adults who were Physically Abused as Children by a Parent or Caregiver: An Empirical- Phenomenological Investigation Jean Risko Follow this and additional works at: https://dsc.duq.edu/etd Recommended Citation Risko, J. (2011). The Experience of Being Thrown Back in Encounters for Adults who were Physically Abused as Children by a Parent or Caregiver: An Empirical-Phenomenological Investigation (Doctoral dissertation, Duquesne University). Retrieved from https://dsc.duq.edu/etd/1107 This Immediate Access is brought to you for free and open access by Duquesne Scholarship Collection. It has been accepted for inclusion in Electronic Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Duquesne Scholarship Collection. For more information, please contact [email protected]. THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING THROWN BACK IN ENCOUNTERS FOR ADULTS WHO WERE PHYSICALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN BY A PARENT OR CAREGIVER: AN EMPIRICAL-PHENOMENOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION A Dissertation Submitted to the McAnulty College and Graduate School of Arts and Sciences Duquesne University In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy By Jean A. Risko December 2011 Copyright by Jean A. Risko 2011 THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING THROWN BACK IN ENCOUNTERS FOR ADULTS WHO WERE PHYSICALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN BY A PARENT OR CAREGIVER: AN EMPIRICAL-PHENOMENOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION By Jean A. Risko Approved November 16, 2011 ________________________________ ________________________________ Constance T. Fischer, Ph.D. Will W. Adams, Ph.D. Professor of Psychology Associate Professor of Psychology (Committee Chair) (Committee Member) ________________________________ Ann C. Barrows, Ph.D. Psychologist (Committee Member) ________________________________ ________________________________ James C. Swindal, Ph.D. Daniel Burston, Ph.D. Acting Dean, McAnulty College and Chair, Department of Psychology Graduate School of Liberal Arts and Professor of Psychology Sciences iii ABSTRACT THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING THROWN BACK IN ENCOUNTERS FOR ADULTS WHO WERE PHYSICALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN BY A PARENT OR CAREGIVER: AN EMPIRICAL-PHENOMENOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION By Jean A. Risko December 2011 Dissertation supervised by Constance Fisher, Ph.D. This study examined the lived meanings of the experience of being thrown back to, or reliving, the past in encounters with a stranger for adults who were physically abused as children. Flyers were posted in public locations seeking adults who had been physically abused as children. Six participants, four females and two males, volunteered to participate in the study. Five participants submitted a written description of an encounter in which a stranger looked at her/him and she/he was reminded of being physically abused as a child. One additional participant responded via an interview. Follow-up interviews were conducted by asking open-ended questions that served to clarify and to iv deepen the written description. One participant was eliminated when it became clear that she did not meet the criteria for this study. The written descriptions and interview data were integrated to create master texts. From the master texts, an empirical-phenomenological method was utilized to analyze the data. Results included Individual Narrative accounts as well as a Summary of Participant Accounts that together offer powerful life-world descriptions of the experience of adults‘ being thrown back to physical child abuse experiences in an encounter. The results reveal that being thrown back to a physically abusive past in an encounter tends to unfold within the realm of everydayness, and reveals the past often with surprise and sometimes with shock, but always with a sense of familiarity. This re- experiencing was vivid. The look, with variations, was a significant finding in the study. All participants took care of themselves in some way while being thrown back to physical child abuse experiences. Most tried to make sense of being thrown back to a vivid past, while some continued to try to understand the physical child abuse they endured. This study offers adults who were physically abused as children a meaningful explication of the experience of being thrown back to physical child abuse. Mental health professionals are provided with a greater understanding of the life world of adult survivors of physical child abuse, as well as with a suggestion for group or individual psychotherapy. Suggestions for future research are offered. v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I want to thank Dr. Connie Fisher for her endless support, encouragement, and direction throughout this challenging journey. Thank you for standing by me and with me. Also, I want to thank Dr. Ann Barrows and Dr. Will Adams for their thoughtful and insightful suggestions and positive feedback as I reach completion of my goal. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT iv-v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS vi CHAPTER 1: Introduction 1 – 7 Purpose of the Study 1 – 2 Motivation 2 – 5 Presuppositions 5 – 8 CHAPTER 2: Literature Review 9 – 16 Defining Physical Child Abuse 9 – 10 Research on Adult Survivors of Physical Child Abuse 10 – 13 Existential – Phenomenological Theories 13 – 16 CHAPTER 3: Method 17 – 24 Recruitment of Participants and Data Collection 17 – 18 The Requested Description 19 – 21 Analysis of Data 21 – 23 Flowchart of Research Method 24 CHAPTER 4: Introduction of Participants and Descriptions of Interviews 25 – 35 Table 1: Demographics of Participants 26 ―George‖ 27 – 29 ―Linda‖ 29 – 30 ―Harold‖ 30 – 32 ―Amber‖ 32 – 34 ―Emily‖ 34 – 35 CHAPTER 5: Results 36 – 73 Individual Narratives 36 – 63 ―George‖ 36 – 42 ―Linda‖ 43 – 47 ―Harold‖ 47 – 52 ―Amber‖ 52 – 57 ―Emily‖ 57 – 63 Summary of Participant Narratives 63 – 73 From the Everyday to the Familiar 63 The Many Faces of the Look 64 – 65 Being Seen 64 Afraid to Look at the Stranger 64 vii Looking at and Wanting to be Seen 64 – 65 Reliving a Vivid Past 65 – 67 Looking Out for Oneself 67 – 69 After the Encounter 60 – 70 Trying to Make Sense of the Physical Abuse 70 – 71 Additional Findings 71 – 73 CHAPTER 6: Discussion 74 – 96 From the Everyday to the Familiar 74 – 75 The Many Faces of the Look 76 – 80 Being Seen 76 – 77 Afraid to Look at the Stranger 77 Looking at and Wanting to be Seen 77 – 80 The Physical Appearance of the Stranger 80 Reliving a Vivid Past 80 – 82 Looking Out for Oneself 82 – 84 After the Encounter 84 – 86 Trying to Make Sense of the Physical Abuse 86 Additional Findings 87 – 90 Presuppositions Revisited 90 – 92 Some Contributions 93 – 94 Suggestions for Future Research 94 – 96 REFERENCES 97 – 102 APPENDICES 103 – 186 APPENDIX A: Research Announcement 103 APPENDIX B: Consent to Participate in Research Study 104 – 105 APPENDIX C: Interviews with Study Participants 106 – 186 viii ix CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION The focus of this study is adults who have endured physical abuse in their childhood at the hands of a parent and/or caregiver. In order to access the everyday life- world of these adults, this study delves into encounters with strangers in which the adults were thrown back to their past of being physically abused as a child. Through these encounters, we can begin to grasp the meaning and complexity of the experience of being thrown back to childhood physical abuse as well as meaning of the continuing impact of the physical abuse in the adult‘s life. Purpose of the Study The physical abuse of children has occurred since antiquity and remains a prevalent problem in society. Statistics for the United States reported that 123,599 children were physically abused in 2009 (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, 2010). It is important to note that this data includes only the number of reported cases of children who were physically abused. Some experiences of physical child abuse are deemed unsubstantiated due to lack of physical evidence, and thus are not reportable. Other victims of physical child abuse never report being physically abused due to fear, shame, or lack of knowledge regarding protection. However, whether or not the physical abuse was reported, the fact remains that in addition to the potential everlasting physical impairments an adult might endure, childhood physical abuse profoundly shapes lives. Yet research shows that minimal attention has been given to understanding the world of survivors of physical child abuse. 1 I have discovered through that research as well as my clinical experience that physical child abuse has an enduring impact in the lives of many adults. The goal of this study is to explore the participants‘ experiences of being thrown back to childhood physical abuse in an encounter with a stranger, as a means of investigating everyday situations with others in which these individuals find themselves reliving that past. Unlike remembering, being thrown back to the past occurs with an abruptness and creates a rupture in daily life. Living in the present may become challenging and future possibilities may be limited for adults who were physically abused as children when thrown back to their abuse. It is my hope that this study will aid survivors of childhood physical abuse by providing a meaningful acknowledgement of their experiences of being thrown back to their abusive past. Additionally, I hope that mental health providers will also gain an understanding of the complex phenomenon of being thrown back to childhood physical abuse. Motivation My interest in the area of child abuse began in my adolescence as I was appalled by the traumatic stories of the physical abuse of innocent children by parents or caregivers. Later, working in a therapeutic preschool with children who had been physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abused and/or neglected, I began to wonder about the future of these children. Memories of one child in particular, a three year old girl who had been severely physically abused by her mother, with the worst injury occurring when her mother bit her, will forever remain with me.