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Home , Alan Pardew, Andreas Weimann, Branislav Ivanovic, Christian Benteke, Christopher Samba, Demba Ba

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ANOTHER PREMIER LEAGUE ROLLERCOASTER GRINDS TO A HALT THIS WEEKEND. TIME, THEN, FOR SPORT’S ANNUAL AWARDS – AND THIS ’S BEST TIME WE’RE STARTING WITH THE GOOD GUYS… UNSUNG HERO OF THE SEASON 1. After 21 goals in League One helped Southampton to the Championship, and his 27 goals at that level took them to the promised land, Lambert has made it three incredible seasons on the trot, with a haul of 14 Premier League goals. It wasn’t enough to save GOAL OF his manager, but he picks up our main gong – which is sure to be some consolation. 2. He defends, he makes goals, he scores goals, he takes a hell of a free-kick – and he’s bloody English. The only problem for Everton fans is that he’s probably off to next season. 3. Okay, his early season form died off after the Swans picked up some silverware, but the man deserves a break after such a remarkable spell for Swansea. The challenge for THE now is keeping the walking shampoo advert happy in Wales. MOST MANAGER OF THE SEASON 1. Sir Who else? Europe might not have gone to plan in the big man’s final season, but these are the Premier SEASON PROMISING 1 MATT LOWTON League awards – so no one else comes Aston Villa v Stoke, April 6 The Villa right-back close. Fergie brought in one big signing and arrows an unstoppable 30-yard volley into the YOUNGSTER watched his side reward him with one last top corner after a half-cleared corner. title. Farewell, Fergie. Ye shall be missed. 2. The former Liverpool and 2 LOIC REMY Chelsea number two has led West Brom to QPR v Wigan, April 7 A quick counter-attack 1. Impossible to give it to a comfortable top-10 finish. Injuries put sees a Stephane Mbia layoff finished first time anyone else. The Belgian (one of three on paid to a flying start to the season, but into the far top corner of the net. the list – for the World Cup in a few new faces could see another big step 2020?) has taken to the Prem like a duck forward next year, and leave some 3  to water, contributing nine league goals Liverpool fans wondering if they shouldn’t Aston Villa v Liverpool, December 15 and 16 league assists to Chelsea’s cause. have given him a shot in the hotseat. After some slick passing, ’s Sure, he kicked a ball boy – but that wasn’t 3. The fact we’ve heard so backheel parts the Liverpool defence to leave in the league so it doesn’t count. little about West Ham this season tells its the little Austrian with an easy finish. 2. Christian Benteke The big striker has own story. Tipped by many for relegation, made Aston Villa fans forget his shortened the Hammers have 4 JONATHAN DE GUZMAN name-alike very quickly, throwing in 19 been comfortable for Swansea v Stoke, January 19 A quick pass, goals and four assists. His link-up play with a long time. His style a backheel, a through ball, a cheeky flick and Andreas Weimann was Villa’s sole threat may come under a side-footed finish add up to a team gem. until Gabby Agbonhalor’s recent run. attack from 3. Another big Belgian some, but 5  goalscorer completes the list. His 14 there’s no Tottenham v West Ham, November 25 goals and seven assists helped spearhead denying Big Picking up the ball by the touchline, Defoe West Brom’s early-season form, and four Sam’s spins and beats three men before goals in three early Februrary games plan firing in from outside the box. >

All pictures Getty Images halted the Baggies’ mini-slide. works.

24 | May 17 2013 | Premier League Awards BEST FATHERLY EXAMPLE TEAM OF THE YEAR TO A YOUNG DAUGHTER Sunday Times, April 21 Luis Suarez says of his wife: “She’s my biggest critic, she Asmir Begovic always comes to watch me. She Stoke asks what I’m doing, why am I arguing with the referee. ’All you’ve done today is turn up to shout at people, why don’t you concentrate on playing football?’ If I don’t, they [Sofia Leighton Baines and his daughter, Delfina] won’t Man City Tottenham Arsenal Everton come and watch me any more.” , April 21 Suarez bites Branislav Ivanovic on the arm and picks up a 10-game ban. For his sake, we hope Delfina doesn’t have .

Juan Mata Chelsea Man Utd Arsenal Tottenham BOOKING OF THE YEAR The PFA securing the talents of Reginald D Hunter, not realising he was going to make offensive jokes. Bravo, PFA. Bra. Flippin’. Vo.

Robin Persie Luis Suarez Man Utd Liverpool Rex Features. All other pictures Getty Images WORST ATTEMPT TO BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT 1. Newcastle It all promised so much after last season. had signed an eight-year contract, and Papiss Cisse were ready to form a deadly partnership, and the midfield creators who had torn AVOID RELEGATION the league up were all fit and raring to go. Yet it took until the You’re scrapping for survival in the penultimate weekend of the season for Newcastle to guarantee polar opposite of a winner-takes-all Premier League safety. The Magpies’ long-term seat at football’s clash. What do you do? Well, if you’re top table is once again looking dubious, and Pardew (presuming he or , stays, considering it’ll cost Mike Ashley £10m to get rid of him now) you watch your teams play out needs to invest wisely to trouble the right end of the table next time a dire draw as you replace out. Plus one of their fans punched a horse – but more on that later. one full-back with 2. The title challenge another in the final Yes, Manchester United were imperious, and the race for the 15 minutes (they Champions League spots has been pretty exciting. But, seriously, both did this) and wait until the dying who were United’s challengers? Chelsea have stumbled through moments to even think about the season, Tottenham have had one man to thank for their top-five throwing an extra striker on. position and Arsenal gave up the ghost when they sold RVP to the Rob Green taking over a minute to Red Devils. At least City gave it a go, but the Mario Balotelli take a goal-kick in injury time sums distraction ended up being too great. We expect better next it all up. A 0-0 draw relegated both season, chaps. Don’t let a mardy Scot win it so easily again. sides. Jose Bosingwa laughed. 3. Nobody else really cared. £50m. Never forget that. >

| May 17 2013 | 27 Rex Features. All other pictures Getty Images THE ’TAKING THE SEASON OF GOODWILL A BIT TOO FAR’ AWARD Tottenham andWiganrespectively. ’Twas theseason,andall that. remarkable 15goalswithoutscoringone inreply, astheywentdown8-0,4-0and3-0toChelsea, the strongestofseasons,buttheirthree-game runfromtheDecember23-29sawthemshipa There’s gettingintheChristmasspirit, andthenthere’sAstonVilla.PaulLambert’smenhaven’thad “My biggest mentor ismyself “I always say asquadislike agood “I’ve always worked alongthe RODGERS QUOTES TOP THREE BRENDAN been my biggest influence.” I’vebecause hadtostudy, sothat’s need goodingredients.” But also, tooffer agoodmeal,you good mealtakes awee bitof time. meal –I’m not agreat cook,buta game of football.” a 79percent chanceof winninga the gamewithballyou have statistic that ifyou dominate can LEAST SURPRISING FIB LEAST SURPRISING FIB

OF THE SEASON per week.Bothtrifficlads,mind. and LoicRemyon£100,000£75,000 six newfaces,includingChristopherSamba the Rshadletfiveplayersgoandbroughtin rid ofanyone.” Thirty-oneshortdayslater, . “Iwon’tbelookingtoget said HarryRedknappbeforetheJanuary “I don’twanttospendtheowner’smoney,” THE SEASON MOVE OF ILL-ADVISED Step forward Bud the police horse, who took a right hook to the snout from Step forwardBudthepolicehorse,whotookarighthooktosnoutfrom and Ifeedfoxesacrosstheroad.” We don’tknowhowtotell youthis,Barry, going brilliantly. things probablyaren’t year afteryousigned, the clublessthana should probablyleave the pressthatyou but whenyourbosstells rise. Swansea teamonthe months andstickwitha the clockback12 wishing hecouldwind Sinclair mightbe to befair, butScott Injury hasn’thelpedhim, an overexcitedNewcastlefanaftertheTyne-Wear derby. BarryRogerson, He added:“I’mananimallover. I’vegotthreedogs,afishpondouttheback the infamous fan in question, said he “did not go out to attack a horse”. the infamousfaninquestion,saidhe“didnotgoouttoattackahorse”. ‘ UP TO PHYSICAL ABUSE THE ANIMAL STANDING Sport FROM A FAN’ AWARD is no expert, isnoexpert, but foxesarevermin.Stopfeedingthemrightnow. >

Premier LeagueAwards

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Premier League Awards THE ‘HITTING THE MAGICAL 40-POINT MARK AND SUBSEQUENTLY DREAMING OF THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS’ AWARD Tight run thing, this one. Fulham reached 39 points and went on to draw one and lose five of their next six, thus hitting the magical 40 in the process. Swansea, though, have to take the title. They reached 40 points in the game after their appearance in the Capital One Cup final. The Swans lifted the trophy, and went on to win just two of their next 10 games, losing five and drawing three. PUB SIGN LAZIEST SIGNS OF THE SEASON OF THE YEAR THE ‘TEENIEST, TINIEST DOUGHNUT OF THE YEAR Remarkably, this one goes not to OVERREACTION TO AN an actual QPR player, but to – who tried to become one by driving his way down the M40 on transfer INCIDENT’ AWARD deadline day and turning up at the "You can clearly see that he could have been club’s car park to force through a killed. The FA has got to look into it regardless move. Sadly, the Rs had failed to that he has been given a yellow card. He reach any agreement with West should be banned for a long time because that was Brom and turned poor Peter the most dangerous thing I’ve seen on a football away, leaving him to traipse back field for many years.” Sir Alex Ferguson reacts up north to face a frosty after Swansea’s Ashley Williams dares to kick reception from his boss at the a ball at . The hooligan. Hawthorns. Even weirder, West

All pictures Getty Images Brom were ninth at the time.

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