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Furthering Education Issue | Hot Rod movie review | interview with Ben Kweller | Michael Ealum exhibit at Screen Arts free weekly guide to entertainment and more | august 2-8, 2007 | www.eujacksonville.com JACKSONVILLE

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2 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper table of contents feature Furthering Education ...... PAGES 18-22 FCCJ ...... PAGE 18 Jacksonville University ...... PAGE 19 Online Degrees ...... PAGE 20 Culinary Institutes ...... PAGE 21 Tulsa Welding School ...... PAGE 21 DeVry Video Game School ...... PAGE 22 Unusual Career Schools ...... PAGE 22 movies Movies in Theaters this Week ...... PAGES 6-10 Bourne Ultimatum (movie review) ...... PAGE 6 Angel-A (movie review) ...... PAGE 7 Seen, Heard, Noted & Quoted ...... PAGE 7 I Know Who Killed Me (movie review) ...... PAGE 8 Hot Rod (movie review) ...... PAGE 9 Introducing the Dwights (movie review) ...... PAGE 10 Master Pancake Theatre (movie review) ...... PAGE 10 at home Number 23 (dvd review) ...... PAGE 12 New on DVD ...... PAGE 12 Mad Men (tv review) ...... PAGE 13 Video Games ...... PAGE 13 Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (book review) ...... PAGE 14 Last Summer Blast ...... PAGE 14 food Dining Guide ...... PAGES 15-16 Zaitoon Restaurant ...... PAGES 16-17 The Pearl (pub profi le) ...... PAGE 15 music Music Calendar ...... PAGES 23-27 The Format (interview) ...... PAGE 23 Bonerama (interview) ...... PAGE 24 Ben Kweller (interview) ...... PAGE 25 Danger:Radio (interview) ...... PAGE 26 arts / theatre / on stage Arts Calendar ...... PAGES 28-29 Screen Arts Exhibit ...... PAGE 27 Once upon a Matress (FCCJ theater review)...... PAGE 28 Smokey Joe’s Cafe (Alhambra theatre review) ...... PAGE 29 columns and stuff BeachWise ...... PAGE 30 The Jock ...... PAGE 30 NASCAR News & Notes ...... PAGE 31

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 3 thisweek THE BLACK KIDS Bonerama No, Bonerama is not the name of Beavis and Butt-head’s new thursday AUGUST 2 band, although we’re sure they would choose it if they could. It’s actually a funk rock band out of Regions Bank Artist Celebration New Orleans made up of a guitarist, Regions Bank and Fogle Fine Art are partnering together to highlight a drummer, a sousaphone player the works of local and regional artists across the Southeast. and four trombones (the “bone” in Each month through November, Fogle Fine Art and Regions Bank “Bonerama”). They’re not a traditional will present a wine and cheese celebration at one of Regions’ brass band, but they’ve got brass to newest branch locations in the Jacksonville area. To coincide with spare-even with no trumpets or saxes this grand event, Fogle has selected artists that have resided or in sight. They can evoke vintage funk, currently reside in or around the branch area. This month, Jeanne classic rock and free improvisation in Pelligreno will be showcased at the Kingsley branch. the same set; maybe even the same Regions Bank, 1461 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park- 6 pm song. As Butt-head would say, “This Info: (904) 296-1414 is cool.” Read interview on page 24. MOJO Kitchen, Jacksonville Beach FL Info: (904) 247-6636

Appetite for Destruction Appetite for Destruction is the 1987 debut album from Guns N’ Roses. It’s also the name of the greatest Guns N’ Roses tribute band in the world. Not only do they sound like GN’R and play all your old favorites- ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine,’ ‘Paradise City,’ ‘Patience,’ etc.- they also look like the band circa 1987-1993, complete with Slash’s signature top hat and Axl’s fl annel-shirt-as-a-belt and bandana. Tickets: $10 Freebird Live- 8 pm BURDEN OF A DAY (904) 246-BIRD

Burden of a Day Kelsey Smith Benefi t Concert Sarasota’s Burden of a Day will stake their reputation on their ability Kelsey Smith was a Kansas teen who was kidnapped and AUGUST 4 to perform. Playing out with bands like Mortal Treason, Chasing saturday murdered in June. In honor of Kelsey, the French Quarter and Victory, Staple, Anam Cara, and Forever Changed to name a few, fi ve terrifi c local bands will hold a benefi t concert, with all they’ve exhibited an energy and a presence seldom paralleled by proceeds to benefi t the Kelsey Smith Foundation, which funds First Coast Pride Festival even their more accomplished peers. See for yourself when Burden college scholarships in her name and raises awareness about First Coast Pride Presents “Tides of Change,” the 29th Annual Pride of a Day takes to the stage with Remove the Veil, Senseless Beauty, violence against women. Fed Up, New Day, Transpose, Esther, Festival. The day-long event will feature two premiere stages and Beneath a Burning Sky and more. and Gunwitch will perform. wandering performers. The young and young at heart will also Thee Imperial- 7 pm Tickets: $10 enjoy age appropriate diversions in the Fun Zone and in the Festival Info: (904) 475-0488 French Quarter- 8 pm Market Place. Entertainment will include Too Many Shoes, Nuñez, Info: (904) 732-9550 Ari Gold, The DC Cowboys, and much, much more. Sea Walk Pavilion- 12 pm to 10 pm AUGUST 3 - 4 Info: (888) 411-6482 or fi rstcoastpride.com friday AUGUST 3 Tour de Pain Any time “pain” is in the title of an event, we have to wonder Jacksonville Axemen host the Jamaican Rugby if it truly qualifi es as entertainment. For some, apparently, this League Team Black Kids is. Brave runners will take on three races in 24 hours, testing The Jacksonville Axemen will be hosting the Jamaican Rugby Black Kids is a local band destined for greatness. Come see them their endurance and causing spectators to question their sanity. League Team in an effort to help spread the sport of rugby around live this Friday at TSI before they become too big to be confi ned to Participants will run 4 miles at the beach on Friday evening, do the world and to increase the exposure to the City of Jacksonville as our fair city. This special show celebrates two future footnotes in a 5K in the Baymeadows area on Saturday morning, and take on a great supporter of the sport here in the USA. Come support the the band’s history: the release of their new album, Wizard of Ahhs, a “mile sizzler” Downtown later that night. An awards ceremony Jax Axe, and the Jamaican Rugby League Team. and their journey to Athens PopFest next week. Special guests Last will follow at the Landing with live entertainment, beer, and food. Tickets: $5 Years Model will also perform. Register online for one or all the races. Hodges Stadium at UNF- gates open at 5 pm TSI Info: (904) 731-1900 or 1stplacesports.com/tdp.htm Info: jaxaxe.com Info: (904) 424-3531

4 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Dead Season Dead Season, the state of Maine’s biggest metal band, is bringing their hard-hitting rock anthems to the First Coast. The band’s debut full-length album, “Rise,” is still the #1 selling independently released record in Maine since its release in August of 2006. The band’s live performance is something of legend, with shows that are guaranteed to blow away metal fans and leave them desperate for more. Jacksonville four-piece Skyliner will also perform. Jack Rabbits- 8 pm Info: (904) 398-7496

Tattoo Artists Art Show Check out some of the best tattoo art in town from some of the city’s best and busiest tattoo artists. The show will include pieces from artists like Christopher Ayalin of Caribbean Connection Tattoo, Mike Woods, Kenny Rice, and Chance Isbell with Inksmith and Rogers, Bryan Register of Peacocks Tattoo, and many more. This unique show will run from August 4-28. Bogda Gallery- 8 - 11 pm Info: (904) 387-0852

First Annual White Party Guys with Ties, a philanthropic organization created to raise money with local charities through cool events, is hosting their First Annual White Party benefi ting The Donna Hicken Foundation. Dress in your most stylish white ensemble and head over to the Carling where you can eat, drink, and dance for an excellent cause. Tickets: $20 online; $30 at the door The Carling- 31 W. Adams St.- 9 pm to 2 am Info: guyswithties.org/jacksonville sunday AUGUST 5 Community Together Day National hip-hop and R&B acts are fl ocking to the Jacksonville Arena to help us celebrate Community Together Day this weekend. Pretty Ricky and Lil’ Boosie will be headlining with support from a number of terrifi c acts from around the country. Events will be happening in the arena parking lots from 12 pm to 4 pm, with the concert kicking off at 6:30 pm. Tickets: $25-$35 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena Info: (904) 353-3309

All Day Metal Fest Nothing says “Sunday” like an all day metal fest. Join Black Tusk, Skeleton Witch, Civilation, Shitagoddam, Roargan, and Dark Castle as they present their musical offerings to the God of Rock. Shanty Town Pub- Springfi eld- 6 pm Info: (904) 798-8222 AUGUST 7 tuesday 48 Hour Film Project Screenings Don’t be alarmed if you happen to stumble upon a bunch of crazed, sleep-deprived guys running around the streets of Jacksonville with cameras this weekend. They’re not freaky, high-tech peeping toms; they’re aspiring fi lmmakers participating in a festival/competition called the 48 Hour Film Project. Teams must write, shoot, edit and score an entire short fi lm from scratch in just 48 hours. Curious about what they will come up with? Check out the fi lms during the public screening this Tuesday and vote on your favorite. Tickets: $10 Jacksonville Public Library, Main Branch- 6 pm to 10 pm Info: 48hourfi lm.com/jacksonville wednesday AUGUST 8 Tony Rock He’s got comedic blood running through his veins. Tony Rock, younger brother of funnyman Chris Rock, is taking a break from his role on the CW’s “All of Us” and is back in the River City to share his unique brand of stand-up with anyone who wants a good laugh. Tony will perform six shows during his run in Jacksonville, each sure to have audiences rolling in the aisles. Tickets: $18-$20 Comedy Zone Info: (904) 292-4242 or comedyzone.com

Danger:Radio Inspired by everything from Justin Timberlake to bebop to Claude Debussy, Danger:Radio has come a long way since they formed six years ago, when the members were just in 7th grade. Today Danger: Radio are the new darlings of the indie scene, getting love from fans and fellow musicians alike. Check out this band on the bubble as they perform with Boys of Summer, Metro Station, Ashway, and We the Kings. Read interview on page 26. Tickets: $6 Jack Rabbits- 7 pm Info: (904) 398-7496

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 5 Joan Allen reprises her role as Pam Lundy MOVIES OPENING who is against killing Bourne, but she gets swept up in the chase that goes to London, Paris, Madrid, EL CANTANTE The dramatic-biography of Tangier, and New York City. Bourne is a slippery Puerto Rican salsa pioneer Hector Lavoe (Marc devil who is now protecting the life of the London Anthony), one of the biggest Spanish-language reporter Simon Ross (Paddy Considine). Yes, Ross singers in the 1970s. The tale follows Lavoe’s is about to break the story wide open. Corruption passionate relationship with his love Puchi (Jen- inside the CIA agency is related to Bourne’s case, nifer Lopez), and his skyrocket to international according to Neal Daniels (Colin Stinton). As in Su- fame. But even when he has it all, Lavoe is premacy, Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles) holds the key unable to escape the allure of drugs and his to helping Bourne nail the corrupted agents that personal pain. Rated R are trying to kill him. Lundy is also disenchanted with the Company–all good signs that Bourne can HOT ROD Rod Kimble, a self-proclaimed find out the truth. stuntman, has grown up believing he’s the Meanwhile, Edgar Ramirez plays the assas- son of Evel Knievel’s test-rider, a courageous sin hot on Bourne’s trail and Vosen is personally stuntman who died in his prime. Rod, in his involved in the chase to terminate Bourne. They committment to fulfi lling his father’s legacy, can are formidable adversaries as Bourne gets closer usually be found doing stunts on his moped and to unraveling the conspiracy that his pursuers are attempting to jump over everything from milk hiding. The ongoing frustrations of being thwarted trucks to public swimming pools. Rod’s stepfa- by Bourne have strengthened the assassin’s deter- ther, Frank, who has a penchant for beating the mination. As with the other Bourne incarnations, tar out of Rod, gets sick and needs a $50,000 this last episode is Bourne in constant motion, operation. Rod attempts to raise the money by leaping off buildings, traveling in cars, confronting undertaking his biggest stunt ever --jumping assassins with his kung-fu skills. 15 buses, one more than Evel Knievel himself Bourne’s allies are few, but he uses them ever dared. Starring: Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher, while on the run gathering information along the Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, and Sissy Spacek. way. Lundy and Nicky are doing what they can in bourne again the background. Bourne makes a breakthrough, but Rated PG-13 that doesn’t help him get his pursuers off his back. This is the best of the trilogy, with THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM Jason Bourne is Bourne hunted by the people who made him what he is- The Bourne Ultimatum movie review Greengrass’ savvy, fast-paced and unrelenting ac- a legendary assassin. Having lost his memory tion and stunts. The wildly popular movie franchise and the one person he loved, he is undeterred has made Matt Damon a bona fide movie star BY RICK GRANT [email protected] with his own Star on Hollywood Boulevard. Well, by the barrage of bullets and a new generation killer CIA operatives on a black ops mission, are he earned it with this incredibly demanding role. of highly-trained killers. Bourne has only one B+ Rated PG-13 111 min hell bent on whacking Bourne, who knows all their Damon never stops running, jumping, and kung-fu objective: to go back to the beginning and fi nd Bourne is on the run kicking serious butt secrets. fighting. Don’t bet on Bourne not coming back. out who he was. Now, in the new chapter of this to find out his identity and who turned him into espionage series, Bourne will hunt down his a secret agent with advanced fighting skills and past in order to fi nd a future. Starring: Matt Da- espionage abilities. And that was only the first mon, Joan Allen, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, two movies. Now Matt Damon returns as Jason Paddy Considine. Rated PG-13 Bourne (presumably for the last time) to find out the truth, and he’ll stop at nothing to get it. His UNDERDOG A bumbling watchdog gets ex- CIA colleagues want to terminate him with extreme posed to a substance that gives him the powers prejudice. So viewers, strap on your seat belts, of a superhero. He is adopted by a 12-year old this is the culmination of all the action of the first boy and uses his superpower to protect his two films with more car chases, gun gags, plenty love and the citizens of Capitol City from the of kung fu fighting, and Matt Damon running like a evil Simon Barsinister. Starring: Alex Neuberger, marathon athlete. Why can’t this massive posse kill Jason Lee, Diz White (II), Peter Dinklage, James this one guy? He’s super-Bourne. Belushi. Rated PG To bring us up to speed, let’s review the last two movies. Doug Liman’s 2002 movie, The Bourne BRATZ We wondered where they would fi nd Identity involves a CIA operative fished out of the four actual teenage girls with heads big enough ocean with no memory of his identity or his mis- to play the roles of the Bratz dolls that we have sion. So he dedicates himself to finding out his all come to recognize, but I guess it wasn’t that identity. But before he can think about that, he’s hard. The story is about four teenage girls who dodging bullets and on the run from an unknown come from different social and economic back- enemy. Just add up the number of cars demolished grounds and empower themselves by rejecting and that tells us this is serious action in the Bond their respective high school cliques and band film tradition. together, calling themselves Bratz. Rated PG. In 2004, Paul Greengrass helmed the sequel called The Bourne Supremacy, which finds Bourne TALK TO ME Follows the life of African Ameri- living with his girlfriend (yes he finally had time for can ex-convict Petey Greene (Don Cheadle), romance) in India hoping to avoid the mysterious who became a radio and television talk show organization trying to kill him. But guess what; they success, but couldn’t overcome his alcohol find him and the chase is on again, with more car addiction. Rated R. crashes, guns, and kick boxing the crap out of a gaggle of assassins. Again, he escapes the dragnet. Cut to today, with Greengrass again at the  helm, Bourne is still running and kicking butt, but this time he’s come home to find the control agent that set him up. “Terminate the threat,” his former boss Noah Vosen (David Strathairn) says. Teams of agents are on the case and Bourne outsmarts them at every turn. More vehicles are sacrificed to keep the adrenaline pumping as Bourne gets inside his nemesis’ office. Clearly, Vosen has gone rogue, which justifies his termination order. The bad guys,

6 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper seen. heard. noted. and quoted. MOORE GETS SUBPOENA FROM BUSH Michael Moore revealed on the Jay Leno show Thursday that the Bush administration has served him with a subpoena for allegedly breaking the U.S. embargo and traveling to Cuba to fi lm parts of his documentary, Sicko. Moore fl ew to the country with three World Trade Center rescue workers to get them the healthcare treatment they were denied in the states. KNOCKED UP BUT NO WEDDING Usher and expectant fi ancée Tameka Foster have confi rmed that they have called off their wedding on the morning of the big day. No reason was given for the duo’s decision to hold off on the vow swap, scheduled to take place in the Hamptons Saturday, and it’s unclear if the couple remains together. PARTNERS IN CRIME Nicole Richie pled guilty to driving under the infl uence and was sentenced to spend 96 hours in either city or county jail. Superior Court Commissioner Steven K. Lubell cred- ited her with six hours for time already served and ordered her to complete her time behind bars no later than Sept. 28. Prior to sentencing the star, Lubell told Richie that she was lucky no one was killed when she was spotted driving the wrong way on the freeway. The California Highway Patrol arrested Richie after they found her parked in her vehicle and facing the wrong direction in the express lane of a Los Angeles freeway. Lubell also warned her that if she drives drunk again and does kill someone, she will be charged with murder, not manslaughter, as it is her second to steal an angel offense. “I hope that never, ever happens,” he said. The Simple Life star was escorted to the Glendale court by boyfriend Joel Madden, who was also sentenced to three years’ probation, ordered to attend a 21-day alcohol edu- Angel-A movie review cation course, pay a $2,048 fi ne and complete a second- offender drug and alcohol program. BY RICK GRANT [email protected] LIMP WRIST NOT WHAT YOU THINK B Rated R 91 min but Angela forgives him. Of course, the viewer is Steven Colbert revealed on Thursday’s thinking wow, Andre is a real loser who doesn’t Colbert Report that he suffered a A mystical encounter begins this artsy black deserve an angel’s help. broken wrist—the troublesome left, of and white French fi lm, written and directed by Lou Besson created a parable about these two course—while warming up the crowd Besson. It’s about a petty criminal, Andre (Jamel characters who come from separate universes, but before Wednesday night’s broadcast. Debbouze), who is threatened by shylocks over his who come together and, in an inexplicable way, be- Let lesser men take note: bringing the large debt. He sees no way out, so he climbs over come compatible mates. Angela doesn’t remember truthiness is not for the faint of heart. the rail of a bridge and is about to jump when he her life on earth, and she can only concentrate on Or the brittle boned. sees a beautiful young woman, Angela / Angel A her mission to somehow save Andre from himself, (Rie Rasmussen), also ready to jump. She jumps although viewers will feel he isn’t worth her efforts. MORE SPICE PLEASE fi rst then Andre jumps to save her. Thus begins a There are some surprises that change Andre’s fun- The Spice Girls are getting ready to strange tale of an angel sent to help Andre turn his damental philosophy of living hand-to-mouth on the spice up a little more of the world, life around. At fi rst, Andre doesn’t believe she is streets. Now, he has Angela to think about and, al- adding dates in Vancouver, San Jose an angel, but she makes objects levitate and he is though she is an angel, he worries about her safety. and Shanghai to their global reunion fi nally convinced. For the fi rst time in his life, he is thinking about the tour this winter. Yeah, can we really The leggy blond Angela looks like a street- welfare of another being, albeit a spirit in the fl esh. believe this act is still relevant? walker in an ultra-short black dress, but Andre’s The two characters chat it up about mundane well being is her sole mission. So she uses her concerns. Over their time together, Andre has shown sexual allure to make money so Andre can pay his signs he can change, but here again, his character CHINA SYNDROME debts. He thinks she is turning tricks but she is only is skin deep, with limited intellectual ability. Angela Steven Spielberg’s spokesman said the Oscar-baiting pretending to get men into a bathroom where she seems completely naive about the physical reality, director may step down from his role as the artistic knocks-out her mark and takes his money. Andre but she does have special powers and can render director of the 2008 Beijing Olympics unless host is a small unattractive man who is annoyed by anyone unconscious just by the wave of her hand. country China, which has been criticized for not send- Angela’s tactics. Still, she starts to grow on him When Andre is confronted by street thugs, she ing U.N. peacekeepers to the Darfur region, takes a as they go around to different clubs getting money mows them down with one fi nger. tougher stance against Sudan. Now if only China would from unsuspecting men who think they’re going to Besson’s use of black and white is pretentious stop sending us shoddy merchandise, poisonous food, have sex with her. in the context of this fi lm. It wasn’t necessary for and become a democratic country, maybe then we Toward the end of the fi lm there is a twist that the artistic focus of the fi lm. Besson’s screenplay is could take them seriously. changes the story. However, the big unanswered dialogue heavy and character driven, so the scenes question is – how did a little man who has a reputa- could have been in color without affecting the over- ROWLING BACK TO WORK tion for being a deadbeat deserve this striking beau- all creative concept. Since the scenes were shot in Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is already back at ty’s help? While he was waiting to jump, he asked the early morning hours, before the city awakened, work writing two new books less than a week after for God’s help and suddenly Angela appeared. Still, Besson’s mosaic paints an abandoned city except in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the fi nal install- he is an unlikely candidate for celestial intervention. the all-night clubs where Andre and Angela cruise to ment of the boy-wizard franchise, hit shelves, the Debbouze portrays Andre with humorous make money under the pretense of Angela’s prosti- writer told USA Today, adding that only one would likely overtones as he and his tag-a-long angel take in tute act. make it to a fi nal published stage. “One is for children the nightlife of Paris. By now, Andre is falling in The fi lm was shot in 2005 and is just making it and the other is not,” she said. “One will oust the other love with Angela, as she acts as his guardian angel. to wide release in the States. For foreign fi lm buffs, in due course, and I’ll know that’s my next thing.” Hey Thanks to Angela, he is fl ush with cash, so what this is an intriguing French fi lm that is so different, what else is she going to do, make cookies? does he do–pay off his debts? No, he places a bet it’s memorable. The dialogue is in French with Eng- on a “sure thing” horse race. Of course he loses, lish subtitles.

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 7 cent, even good actress, turns in her absolute worst NOW SHOWING performance to date. I actually cringed during some of her dialogue. But she was almost great compared 1408 Based on a Stephen King story, this sce- to everyone else. Wooden acting from the entire sup- nario involves a man who writes books about porting cast brought out a distinctly B-movie feel, haunted inns and hotels by going there and stay- like something you would watch on TV at 2 am when ing overnight. His overnight visits are uneventful nothing else is on. Julia Ormond in particular gives a until he insists on staying in a famous haunted spectacularly “Lifetime original movie” performance. room in the Dolphin Hotel in NYC. His experience It didn’t help that her one “heart-wrenching” scene is anything but uneventful. Rated PG-13 had her holding a freaky looking hairless cat that gave the entire audience the giggles every time it HAIRSPRAY A plump but vivacious teenager came on screen. The dialogue and the cat weren’t joins a popular teen-scene TV show in the early the only thing that had viewers rolling in the aisles 60s and teaches the show about integration by during the screening I attended. Somehow the fi lm bringing back “negro day.” He-Mom, Edna (John managed to hit on every cheesy horror movie cliché Travolta), who takes in laundry to suplement her in the book. husband’s meager income from a joke store, joins During the climax no one ever calls the police her daughter in the movement to restore “negro or looks behind them or otherwise avoids contact day.” Rated PG with the antagonist. And, of course, the killer man- ages to have super-human strength and agility de- HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOE- spite being badly injured. On top of all that, the fi lm NIX Rumors of Lord Voldmort’s return have been has really silly plot elements. For example, Dakota dismissed. Harry and Dumbledore are targeted is given a high-tech prosthetic leg that has to be by the Wizard Authorities. And, an authoritarian plugged in to charge and beeps when the battery is bureaucrat gradually seizes power at Hogwarts. low. So there she is, tromping through the woods It’s jungle of wizards out there with special effects during the fi lm’s fi nal scenes with a beeping fake leg. galore. Rated PG-13 I couldn’t make this stuff up, folks. Those who are interested in seeing Lindsay I KNOW WHO KILLED ME An idyllic small town bare all for her big stripping scene are in for a great is rocked when Audrey Fleming (Lindsey Lohan), deal of disappointment as well. She’s the only strip- a bright young woman, is abducted and tortured per in the whole strip club that doesn’t strip. You by a sadistic serial killer. Rated R a horrifying waste can’t even call her an exotic dancer because she doesn’t dance either. She walks around a pole and I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY poses provocatively and then crawls around on the Two single Brooklyn fi refi ghters, Chuck (Adam I Know Who Killed Me movie review fl oor for a while. The strip club scenes were overly Sandler) and Larry (Kevin James) are best long and gratuitous, thrown in because the director friends. Larry saves Chuck’s life and he is will- could, not because they moved the story along in ing to do anything to even the score. When Larry BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] any way. The only people who may be happy are those looking to see some gore. There are plenty of needs Chuck to sign a Civil Union form so he F Rated R 105 min. can get benefi ts for his kids, the scheme seems Who Killed Me for the past couple months. The fi lm’s gross-out torture scenes that will have you squirm- easy. But an investigator thinks there is something I could make a lot of Lindsay Lohan/cocaine website was launched a while back and featured ing in your seat; whether or not that’s a good thing is fi shy about the pair. So they have to masquerade jokes right now. Heck, I’ve been thinking them up all the killer’s “video blog,” which has creepy clips of up to you. as a gay couple to satisfy the investigator, which week in anticipation of writing this review. But, truth him stalking his victims. It was deliciously eerie and After this critical and theatrical fl op (I Know means they have to go through a ceremony, have be told, as I sit here thinking back at the train wreck worked to get me eager to see the fi lm. Imagine my Who Killed Me only made a little over $3 million a honeymoon, and live together. Rated PG-13 that is Lindsay’s latest, I Know Who Killed Me, I can’t disappointment, then, when I watched the fi nished during its opening weekend- ouch) and her drunken help but refrain out of sheer compassion. I honestly product, which was fi lled with ridiculous dialogue, driving/possession arrest, you’ve got to feel a little LIVE FREE, DIE HARD Yes, Bruce Willis is back feel sorry for this girl and her fans since there is no terrible acting and a heaping helping of camp on par sorry for Lindsay Lohan. But, whatever you do, don’t as John McClane, who stumbles onto a plot by In- hope of her ever coming back from being associated with Snakes on a Plane, but without the irony. let your compassion for the fallen star lead you to ternet-based terrorists to cause havoc in America with this horrifyingly terrible waste of theater space. There were literally no good performances in wasting your time and money on this steaming pile. by crippling the government’s computer systems. Aubrey Fleming (Lohan) is your average high this fi lm. Lohan, who I’ve always thought was a de- As kind as that would be, it’s just not worth it. McClane, an old-school kind of guy, works with a school senior. She’s got a cute boyfriend (Brian top hacker to foil the terrorists plan, but gets him- Geraghty), a couple close girlfriends (Kenya Moore self in big trouble again in this 4th episode of Die and Jessica “LonelyGirl15” Rose) and big dreams Hard. Rated PG-13 that include Ivy League colleges and fame as an author. Her picture-perfect world comes crashing NO RESERVATIONS This is a remake of a 2001 down when she is kidnapped and brutally tortured by German fi lm Mostly Martha written by Sandra a sadistic serial killer. It seems her life, like those of Nettlebeck, whose original script is used for this the girls before her, is coming to a swift, painful end. fi lm. The story involves a chef, Kate (Catherine One night, however, fate gives her a second chance. Zeta-Jones), whose sister is killed in a car ac- To the relief of her parents (Julia Ormond and cident. She inherits her sister’s daughter Zoe Neal McDonough) and the entire town, Aubrey is (Abigail Breslin). Kate has no idea how to deal found mutilated but alive. The only problem is that with the precocious 8-year old girl. She takes her Aubrey doesn’t remember her picture-perfect life. to work and tries to keep her busy. Meanwhile, In fact, Aubrey claims they have the wrong girl. She the owner of the restaurant hires a sous chef, Nick says her name is Dakota Moss, the only child of a (Aaron Eckhart), who, at fi rst, clashes with Kate, crack-addict who died of an overdose not long ago. but as time goes on a romance develops. Rated Dakota is nothing like Aubrey. She works at PG a strip club, smokes cigarettes, sleeps around and curses up a storm. Much to the dismay of the FBI, PAPRIKA In this anime fi lm, a machine allows who sees Aubrey/Dakota as the key to cracking their therapists to enter patients’ dreams. When it’s case, Dakota’s unwilling to cooperate with their in- stolen, all hell breaks loose, and only a woman vestigation, insisting she doesn’t remember how she therapist (nicknamed “Paprika”) seems able to got her injuries or who the killer is. The cops think stop it. Rated R she’s a liar and her parents think she’s disturbed, but Dakota is determined to prove that she is not Aubrey PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE AT WORLD’S Fleming. The only way to do that is to fi nd the miss- END Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth ing girl herself. Swann (Keira Knightley) are allied with Captain Sounds intriguing, huh? I thought so too, which  is why I’ve actually been keeping an eye on I Know

8 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) in a desperate quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from his mind-bending trap in Davy Jones’ locker. The terrifying ghost ship, The Flying Dutchman, with Davy Jones at the helm, is under the control of the East India Trading Company. They wreak havoc across the Seven Seas. Rated PG-13

RATATOUILLE A cheeky rat living within the walls of a famous Paris bistro longs to become a chef but is hindered by his family’s skepticism, the rodent-hating staff, and patrons of the restau- rant. Rated G

RESCUE DAWN Based on the true story of Ger- man-born Dieter Dengler, who dreamed of being a test pilot and thus made his way to America where he joined the military in pursuit of his obsession to fl y. On his fi rst mission in Vietnam, he is shot down and captured by Vietcong guerril- las. Starring: Christian Bale, Steve Zahn, Jeremy Davies, Marshall Bell, and François Chau. Rated PG-13 Kimble’s 2 Legit to Quit love speech, and the poorly mustache rides projected spirit animals that Kimble calls on before In his typical attack-dog journalistic style, SICKO every stunt, make it not only funny enough, but documentary fi lmmaker Michael Moore takes on Hot Rod movie review capricious enough to make me want to see it again. the broken healthcare system in America, featur- The real coup de grace to my sides was Kimble’s ing HMO horror stories and an in-depth look at angry punch dance scene in the woods ala Kevin foreign healthcare systems, specifi cally in Cuba BY BRENTON CROZIER Bacon in Footloose. and France. Rated PG-13 Hot Rod brings the type of stunts, epic fi st ing to translate 4 minutes of funny to 90 minutes of Hot Rod pays many a homage to 80s movies fi ghts, totally awesome 80s power ballads, and the a real comedy. and culture. It was even confusing at times in that SUNSHINE This is Danny Boyle’s much bally- fake-mustached showmanship you were almost cer- Andy Samberg has given Saturday Night Live a Napoleon Dynamite type of way, making me wonder hooed space odyssey set 50 years into the future. tainly not looking for. Saturday Night Live standout rejuvenating blast with a younger, more non-conven- what decade the movie takes place in. Although both The sun is dying, so a team of astronauts is sent Andy Samberg plays lead character Rod Kimble, an tional and sometimes random take on things. Sam- fi lms contain that sort of decade disorientation, surg- into space to save the sun from degenerating with aspiring, but rather substandard stuntman. The entire berg, along with Hot Rod’s director Akiva Schaffer, es of completely random humor, and nerdy leading a specially developed but untested cure. Rated R premise of the movie hinges on Rod raising enough are responsible for the popular SNL Digital Shorts men, Hot Rod probably won’t permeate with the type money (by performing a super stunt) to get his step- that have sparked a more modern interest in the of post run success that Dynamite enjoyed, although THE SIMPSONS MOVIE The Simpsons fi nally father the heart surgery he needs to get better; better show, translating into more than 25 million You Tube it is sure to do better at the box offi ce. Where Dyna- make it to the big screen. In this adventure, enough for Rod to earn his respect by kicking his downloads. mite was an anomaly of sorts that took moviegoers Homer mistakenly pollutes Lake Springfi eld and ass. Samberg and Schaffer teamed with South by surprise, Hot Rod features Samberg and crew like sets into motion a government plot to destroy A number of the movies produced by Lorne Park and Team America: World Police writer Pam you want to see them; quirky, diminutive in coolness, their city. D’oh! He must somehow manage to Michaels, and featuring SNL cast members, often Brady, keeping that irreverent and arbitrary humor and funny with absolutely no concern of poignant save Springfi eld and restore his family’s faith in feel like homogenized versions of the popular skit that makes comedy seekers so happy. Gems like the moments or life lessons. him. Rated PG-13 that they are based on. Luckily, Hot Rod is not based cool-beans-off between Kimble and his stepbrother Hot Rod features some hilarious and surpris- on an SNL skit or weighed down by SNL writers fail- Kevin Powell (played by SNL writer Jorma Taccone), ingly cast supporting roles. Ian McShane of Dead- TRANSFORMERS The earth is caught in the wood fame plays Frank Powell, Kimble’s impossible middle of an intergalactic war between two races to impress, tough stepfather. There entire relation- of robots– the heroic Autobots and the evil De- ship is predicated on Kimble being man enough to cepticons. Both are able to change into a variety beat Frank up in one of their frequent and strange of objects, including cars, trucks and planes. combative encounters. Although Kimble professes Rated PG-13 to hate Frank, he is confi dent that he can win his respect and replace the paternal void in his life left WHO’S YOUR CADDY When a rap mogul from by his biological father, who was purported to die as Atlanta tries to join a conservative country club in a result of being impaled by his handlebars during the Carolinas, he runs into fi erce opposition from a stunt. Sissy Spacek plays Kimble’s mother, Marie the board president. However, it’s nothing that Powell, in a performance that doesn’t really project the rapper and his entourage can’t handle. Rated that greatly, but makes you curious about Spacek PG-13 and her agent reading the script and concluding, “Yep, that’s the one, let’s do it.” SPECIAL SHOWINGS Will Arnett of Arrested Development fame and Samberg’s SNL co-star Bill Hader play hilarious Midnight Movie roles, although one “C’mon!” from Arnett would THRASHIN’ Step back into 1986 for this action- have been a fantastic bone to throw the Arrested adventure that depicts young love pitted against Development faithful. a backdrop of fast-paced skateboard competition Remember your young dreams of being a and feuding teen gangs. Starring: Josh Brolin, fi ghter pilot, professional athlete, or wholesome Robert Rusler, Pamela Gidley, Brooke McCarter politician? Well my friends, Rob Kimble stayed true (II), Brett Marx. Rated PG-13. Bring in your kona to his dream of being a stuntman and taking the skatepark receipt and get a buck off admission. big jumps. Take the nonsensical journey with him August 3 & 4, San Marco Theatre - 11:55 pm and invigorate the dreamer in you. Invigorate it all Info: 396-4845 over the theater, all over your popcorn, all over your friends; just don’t let the theater manager or usher Summer Movie Classics 2007 see you. If they see you, they might throw you out The Florida Theatre will be showing Summer without a refund. There is even a remote possibility Movie Classics on Sundays throughout the Sum- of you being banned from the theater altogether. mer. Enjoy great selections from cinematic history Adorn your fake mustache and throw big ac- in the beautiful setting of one of Jacksonville’s tion, romantic comedy, and linear gags to the wind and enjoy Hot Rod. 

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 9 own classics. The original 1956 version of INVA- SION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, will be shown Sunday, August 5. On August 12, the Mel Brooks’ classic, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN can be seen. All showings start at 2 pm. Call 355-ARTS or go to fl oridatheatre.com for details.

MOCA in the Middle and Summer Cinema Experience Wednesdays at the Museum of Con- temporary Art (MOCA) Jacksonville from 5 to 9 pm. Enjoy live music and dancing in the atrium during the 5 to 7 pm happy hour with a full liquor bar. Receive a free makeover in the lobby and then have dinner in the critically-acclaimed Café Nola. Catch the Summer Cinema at 7 pm. This Wednes- day, August 8, MOCA Jacksonville presents AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. In this fi lm, a longtime advocate for the environment, Al Gore, presents a wide array of facts and information in a thoughtful and compelling way. “Al Gore strips his presenta- tions of politics, laying out the facts for the audi- an intriguing story ence to draw their own conclusions in a charming, funny and engaging style, and by the end has everyone on the edge of their seats, gripped by Introducing The Dwights movie review his haunting message,” said director Guggenheim. An Inconvenient Truth is not a story of despair but rather a rallying cry to protect the one earth BY RICK GRANT [email protected] we all share. Rated PG. Stay after the fi lm for a A- Rated R 105 min sarcastically points out Jill’s beauty while degrading Q&A with a special guest. If you are not already a her own son. Fortunately, Jill is a bright young lady MOCA member, take advantage of the Film Series Brenda Blethyn, as Jean Dwight, almost carries and understands what’s going on. She doesn’t hold membership special – join the Museum the night this Australian fi lm to glory singlehandedly. Keith Tim’s crass mother against him. Remarkably, despite of the movie and then watch the show for free! Thompson’s screenplay is well-written but slightly Jean’s abuse, Jill is polite and lets Jean’s insults go Info: 366-6911. fl awed, in that it doesn’t delve deeply enough into without retaliating. the dysfunctional family characters. However, it’s an Jill takes a liking to Mark, who is really quite Not Just for Baby Boomers Film Series engrossing dramedy that exposes Jean’s son Tim sweet. She and Tim take him out on adventures, See great movies that boomers grew up with that (Khan Chittenden), who is embarrassed at having a much to his mother’s dismay. Of course Jean is still intrigue and enthrall all generations. Relax at a mother and father who are mediocre entertainers. over-protective of Mark and treats him like a baby. FREE 5:45 showing every 2nd and 4th Thursday Tim is involved with a young woman whom he is He has a girlfriend at the Center for Special Needs of a classic fi lm in the Jacksonville Public Library reluctant to tell about his parents’ profession. Tim Kids, where he works, which raises many fears in Main Branch Auditorium with complimantary pop- is tasked with caring for his mentally-challenged Jean’s tangled mind. Tim and Jill try to protect Mark corn and soda and then enjoy an evening down- brother Mark (Richard Wilson) and driving his mom from Jean’s controlling manner, believing that he de- town. TO CATCH A THIEF will be screened on to gigs. Mark was mentally-damaged at birth when serves a life away his mother’s overbearing control. August 9. Info: 630-2665 or www.jaxpubliclibrary. his brain was deprived of oxygen. Jean’s problems are multiplied by her upcom- org/librarynews/main_boomers_2007.html Jean is a bitter, self-pitying and obnoxious ing audition for a benefi t, which has made her crazier drunk who relies on sarcasm to convey her angst than usual. Jill’s presence in Jean’s house reminds Friends of the Fest (Formerly Reel People) at not making it big in England. She is now having her that she is losing her beauty and appeal. If she Jacksonville Film Events’ new year-round series trouble fi nding work in Australia because her standup doesn’t get this important gig, she may be fi nished called “Friends of the Fest” next event will be a act is dated and not funny. Tim tries to keep his pri- as a performer. Ironically, Jean’s efforts to drive series of fi lms called ALTMAN IN AUGUST. The vate life separate from his family because he doesn’t Jill away have only made her relationship with Tim series will consist of three Robert Altman’s fi lms want his girlfriend, a beautiful blonde, Jill (Emma stronger as the couple fi nds excuses to get away as follows: 8/12 - THE LONG GOODBYE, 1 pm, Booth), to meet his mother, who is divorced from his from Jean. San Marco Theatre, 8/19 - 3 WOMEN, 1 pm, San father, John (Frankie J. Holden). John was a one-hit When Jean has a mental breakdown, Tim calls Marco Theatre, 8/26 - THE PLAYER, 1 pm, San wonder who perpetually tries to make a comeback his father John to handle Jean’s freakout. Although Marco Theatre. For more info go to jacksonville- while working as a security guard. Jean and John are divorced, he knows how to pull fi lmevents.com/events_reel.htm or call 396-4845. The story focuses on Jean’s controlling rela- Jean out of her madness. Jean is typical of women tionship with her son, Tim, and how he deals with it. in show business who are getting older and waning First-anniversary meeting of the “Leave ‘em Her continual drinking binges exacerbate her whiny in demand. After this episode, Jean begins to change Laughing” Tent complaining attitude. Viewers will want to slap her and face reality. Mark is slowly starting his own life The Jacksonville chapter of The International silly. Still, Blethyn creates a complex female char- with his mentally-challenged girlfriend. Laurel & Hardy Appreciation Society (aka Sons acter who has to face the reality of her son growing Blethyn again proves why she is one of the of the Desert) will hold their fi rst anniversary up, complicated by feelings of guilt and resentment best actresses in the business by making the viewer meeting on Mon., Aug. 13, 6:00 to 7:45 pm at toward her mentally-challenged son Mark. hate her character. The family dynamic shatters and Pablo Creek Branch Library, 13295 Beach Blvd. When Tim’s girlfriend fi nally meets Jean, it’s gradually brings the pieces back together. This tran- (between Kernan and Hodges Blvds). Admission is a disaster. She is drunk and jealous of Jill. Jean sition makes for an intriguing character-driven story. free and light snacks and soda will be served. The following L&H movies will be screened: LEAVE ‘EM LAUGHING a 1928 silent short; and the 1934 sound feature SONS OF THE DESERT. For more info call Steve Bailey at 246-0312, or visit the Tent’s website at www.leaveemlaughing.com.

10 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper detaining the brat pack Master Pancake Theater Lampoons the Breakfast Club

BY JON BOSWORTH [email protected] Have you ever been stuck in front of the television drinking beer with a friend, because there seems to be nothing to do, and then you land on one of those guilty pleasure movies? If the friend you are with is witty enough, this can turn out to be an en- tertaining night in front of the tube. If you don’t have such a friend, you’re in luck, because Master Pancake Theater ex- ists to be that friend. Three comedians from Austin Texas, John Erler, Joe Parsons and Ben Bart- ley, provide the service of mocking the classic fi lms of their generation on a regular photo provided by joey marchy basis at Austin, Texas’ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema. This past weekend they came Molly Ringwald’s lips and Ally Sheedy’s entire char- to Jacksonville to visit their expatriate Austinian, Tim acter, Allison Reynold, who they pegged as “the fi rst Masset of the San Marco Theatre, and they rolled Cure fan in fi lm.” their show into town with them. The jokes weren’t restricted to the quips the Unless you were enjoying a long nap under a three comedians in the front row whispered into their large rock last week, you heard about this event be- mics (or, in the case of the Gollum-like voice they cause they blitzed our media as few comedians do. put to Allison Reynolds, screeched voluminously), From their interview on channel 4’s morning show to they also stopped the fi lm at a halfway point and their interview on WJCT radio, they didn’t just make appeared dressed as the three main characters. the usual pop into the printed mediums. And they Principal Vernon, John Bender, and a brutish Claire were well worth the ballyhoo. Standish were contestants on this stage version of Before the show, instead of the usual slides The Dating Game. They had a member of the audi- of local advertisers and images of San Marco, they ence come up and ask the three bachelor(ettes) played bizarre middle-twentieth century European some questions, to which the troupe answered in videos. Although they were amusing to watch, they character. The best response was John Bender’s weren’t nearly as amusing as this presentation of one-man, one-act play. The Breakfast Club. This concept is so simple that it seems a At the top of the show the three comedians shame that they aren’t available all of the time or that introduced themselves and as soon as the opening someone locally can’t start up a Jacksonville chapter credits took the screen, the jokes abounded. And of Master Pancake Theater. I wish every Megaplex in funny jokes. Although they have a penchant for town would devote at least one screen to a crew of college football jokes that I didn’t always get, their witty kids that will lampoon most of the blockbusters astute observations and riotous wit brought this dull that hit those screens. Hell, I’ll do it for free. old brat pack fi lm back to life. They introduced drink- Keep your scanners peeled for Master Pancake ing games that require a chug every time principal Theater’s return to the San Marco Theater and make Vernon made the metal sign with his hands and they sure you don’t miss out on the hilarity. If you just sang Beegees every time he walked down a hall. can’t wait, you can check out Master Pancake The- Speaking of hall, they were ruthless to Anthony ater on You Tube or go to myspace.com/masterpan- Michael Hall, as they were to Judd Nelson’s nostrils, cake.

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 11 the extras are scattered throughout in a cool but this week on dvd mildly confusing way. Luckily for those who enjoyed the fi lm, there are plenty of supplements to attempt 300: Two- Disc Special Edition (117 min.) to fi nd on the discs multiple menu screens. An audio The epic graphic novel by Frank Miller (Sin City) commentary track with Schumacher is available as assaults the screen with the blood, thunder well as the standard “Infi nifi lm presentation,” which and awe of its ferocious visual style faithfully adds pop-ups with factoids during the fi lm. recreated in an intense blend of live-action and There are also sixteen deleted scenes, includ- CGI animation. Retelling the ancient Battle of ing an alternate opening and ending, both of which Thermopylae, it depicts the titanic clash in which are more interesting than the rest. Three featurettes King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans also made the cut. First is “Making of The Number fought to the death against Xerxes (Rodrigo 23,” where the fi lmmakers and the cast pat them- Santoro) and his massive Persian army. Extras selves on the back for 23 minutes. Next is “Creating include audio commentary, deleted scenes, the World of Fingerling,” where the production de- three featurettes and more. Rated R for graphic sign and visual effects are examined. Finally, in “The battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and Number 23 Enigma,” mathematicians, numerologists nudity. and psychologists explain the history of the phenom- enon and why some people fi nd it so fascinating. HOT FUZZ (121 min.) Based on the plot synopsis alone, I was in- Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is the fi nest cop trigued by The Number 23. I didn’t care if it got a London has to offer, with an arrest record 400% miserable 8% rotten rating on RottenTomatoes.com, higher than any other offi cer on the force. He’s numb and number the premise had me hooked and there was no turn- so good he makes everyone else look bad. As ing back. I should have listened to my fellow critics. a result, Angel’s superiors send him to a place I should have heeded their stern, snarky warnings where his talents won’t be quite so embarrassing The Number 23 dvd review and picked up Zodiac. Instead, I was stuck with this, - the sleepy and seemingly crime-free village of a fi lm that had the right idea but lacked the execu- Sandford. Once there, he is partnered with Danny BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] tion and consistency to do it justice. The Number Butterman (Nick Frost) who believes his new big- 23 could have been great. The acting from both city partner will bring some excitement to their I’ve learned a lot by watching movies over the While her husband Walter (Jim Carrey) is late Madsen and Carrey was pretty good. I was able to little town. Rated R for violent content including years. I’ve learned that if you’re planning to share picking her up, Agatha Sparrow (Virginia Madsen) see past Carrey’s comedic past and really get into some graphic images, and language. some spaghetti with a mob boss’ son, always check browses the shelves of a bookstore and comes his character and Madsen did a phenomenal job as the back of the toilet tank beforehand. I’ve learned across a curious book called “The Number 23.” After both matronly Agatha and sultry Fabrizia. And I was PATHFINDER (99 min.) that if a 6-foot bunny rabbit named Frank visits you thumbing through the novel, she buys it as a birth- fully on board with the story until it crumbled into A young Norse boy is abandoned by his disap- in your dreams, you should probably listen to what day gift for Walter and the two head on their way. A a cliché-ridden mess in the last act. Truly, I have proving, conqueror-father and adopted by an he has to say. I’ve learned that ligers are quite real few short days later, Walter has become obsessed never seen something with so much potential fail so aboriginal tribe. He grows up to become Ghost and are bred for their skills in magic. Jim Carrey’s with the book’s subject, the 23 enigma, and the main quickly and so completely in all my life. Here was an (Karl Urban), a fi erce swordsman and defender latest fi lm, The Number 23, taught me some things character, Fingerling. He begins picturing himself idea that could have worked, should have worked, of Indians after a terrible assault on those whom too. The fi lm is now available on DVD. as Fingerling, picking up on similarities between and yet apparently no one had the forethought to he loves most. Rated R for strong brutal violence the tortured detective in the book and the mundane fi nish the story in a way that is halfway believable. throughout. dog catcher Walter actually is. Soon he’s seeing the The ending, which I won’t give away in case, number everywhere. He adds up dates to get 23. for some reason beyond my understanding, some- FIREHOUSE DOG (111 min.) He counts the letters in names to get 23. What he one actually wants to watch this train wreck, makes Rex, Hollywood’s top K-9 star, gets lost and is initially chalked up to coincidence gets increasingly very little sense. It’s not that it’s confusing, it just reluctantly adopted by a young boy (Josh Hutch- eerie until Walter himself is on the brink of madness. doesn’t work. During the entire fi lm you’re expecting erson). His father (Bruce Greenwood), fi re chief Each chapter unveils more clues to what Walter sees a pay off that is worthy of these terrifi c characters of a rundown station agrees to the adoption only as a mystery only he can solve. and interesting premise. What you get are plot holes if his defi ant son takes care of the pup.. Rated It turns out there really are some people who the size of Kansas that destroy any and all hope of PG for sequences of action peril, some mild believe that the number 23 has a great deal of sig- suspending disbelief. It was as if someone on the set crude humor and language. nifi cance, much like how some fear the number 666. said “OK, guys, we’re at the hour and a half mark. Whether or not the number 23 is a “blessing” or a Let’s wrap this up as quickly and sloppily as possi- LONELY HEARTS (107 min.) “curse” seems to depend on the individual believer. ble.” Once the credits rolled, I felt cheated, which is In the late 1940s, Martha Beck (Salma Hayek) Carrey himself is one such person. He’s had a long a something a moviegoer should never feel if anyone and Raymond Fernandez (Jared Leto) were time “connection” to the number 23 and has even working on the fi lm was doing their job right. America’s notorious “Lonely Hearts Killers.” Two gone so far as to name his production company So, what did I learn from The Number 23? I New York Detectives, Elmer C. Robinson (John “JC23” after his personal obsession with it. The learned that just because a story sounds like it can’t Travolta) and Charles Hildebrandt (James Gan- Number 23 director Joel Schumacher also has a miss doesn’t mean it can’t. I learned that no amount dolfi ni), chase the sociopaths and, once caught, strange connection to the number: this was his 23rd of decent acting in the world can make up for a the two put on a wild show for the world as their fi lm. weak ending. I also learned that my full name has 23 trial gets under way. Rated R for strong violence The Number 23 is now available in an unrated letters. That would freak me out if I wasn’t so darn and sexual content, nudity and language. Infi nifi lm edition DVD. As with all Infi nifi lm releases, disappointed.

ROVING MARS (40 min.) This excellent IMAX production follows the famil- iar IMAX format; at 40 minutes in length, it’s not as wide-ranging as other documentaries might be, but in chronicling the design, launch, and successful landings of NASA’s robotic Mars rov- ers Spirit and Opportunity, This fi lm is rated G.

THE DARWIN AWARDS (90 min.) Detective Michael Burrows (Joseph Fiennes) is obsessed with The Darwin Awards, given posthumously to people who kill themselves in incredibly stupid ways. When he’s fi red for bun- gling an arrest, he offers his profi ling services to an insurance company and teams up with a claims investigator (Wynona Ryder) to learn how to identify these idiots before they die. Rated R

12 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper mad avenue ad cowboys Mad Men tv review BY RICK GRANT [email protected] The American Movie Channel (AMC) has hopped on the bandwagon of cable-produced original shows with its high-quality hour-long drama, Mad Men. The show is set in 1960 in the powerful Madison Avenue advertising agen- cy Sterling Cooper. Matthew Weiner created, writes, and produces the show. The stories involve the pervasive societal infl uence of this fi rm through its highly defi ned characters. The drama centers around how the agency infl u- ences trends as it skirts the health concerns of cigarettes and offers cocktails to clients while the core players of the fi rm behave like frat boys in heat. The series’ art design and costumes me- ticulously recreate this naive bygone era when everyone smoked, drank booze at work, and the rocking out, getting paid men had affairs with the willing women of the fi rm- sleeping their way to success. The series features a stellar supporting cast, including Jon Epic Shredding of Destruction Battle at Board City Hamm (We Were Soldiers), Elisabeth Moss (The West Wing), Vincent Kartheiser (Angel), January Jones (We are Marshall), and Christina BY NORM STOVALL [email protected] Hendricks (Kevin Hill), with guest stars John Slattery (Desperate Housewives), and Rosema- On Sunday, July 29th, Board City skateshop in rie DeWitt (Standoff). Orange Park became a haven for plastic axe-weilding Creator Matthew Weiner’s pilot script rockers determined to take fi rst place in the Guitar concept had been fl oating around Hollywood Hero competition known as the “Epic Shredding of for years while he worked as head writer for Destruction Battle (80s Edition).” Tournament go- The Sopranos. Weiner is an exemplary scribe Interestingly, the scenes of men and women ers came from all over North and Central Florida to and creator of this rarely exposed period in American smoking everywhere harken back to a different time square off in Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s, a history, which inspired today’s PC culture and led to that was ironically steeped in Puritan philosophy while game that has only been on store shelves for about a ethical standards in the workplace, smoke-free envi- seeming quite liberal in retrospect. After all, the birth week. ronments, and sexual harassment laws. control pill was just over the horizon, which ushered in In addition to the competition, people were en- the sexual revolution of the late 60s. couraged to dress in 80s garb to get a dollar off of the The series revolves around suave ad man Don door fee, which ended up bringing in a many different Draper (Jon Hamm), a ruggedly handsome skirt personalities, including the ultimate local mock metal chaser who has fi ts of brilliance that keep his clients band, Mega Kill, who all showed up in some kind of onboard. When the new girl (Moss) comes into the 80s Gear. Billy, a local fan favorite, even showed up offi ce, the woman who shows her around tells her wearing two costumes in one: Miami vice on top, and it’s part of her job description to sleep with Draper. when the white sports coat got too hot, he stripped “If you’re lucky, you’ll get invited to his beach house down to his shorts and Twisted Sister T-shirt. for the weekend.” It was a male dominated culture at Play wise, the tournament went smoothly, with that time, and the top ad men in New York City exuded the exception of me kicking a cord out on one TV, an aura of power that seemed irresistible to sexually killing a match that was going down. Sorry! In the repressed women. Unfortunately, they were often end, Orlando’s Joey Rosenburg took 1st prize, which scarred by being used and abused by these sharks in included a cash prize of $78, A Board City T-shirt, Brooks Brothers suits. and a Guitar Hero guitar case. The Best Dressed prize As Draper struggles to stay ahead of the rapidly went to Ben, aka “Dan Steel”, who came dressed changing advertising game, his younger colleagues as an 80s rocker, sporting a blonde wig and white jeans. In the end, the Tourney went well without any are aggressively after his job. Like a piranha-infested hiccups, and we all appreciate the effort from the people who came, including the host, Board City, and pond, the young execs attack in groups, tearing their Hungry Howie’s of Orange Park, who provided free pizza for everyone. Thanks, and we will see you prey to shreds. This degrading rat race inspired The guys this fall for Guitar Hero 3! Man in the Gray Flannel Suit. At the time, ad execs were driven mad by the combat in the workplace, and results: their only relief was booze and broads, followed by a heart attack in their mid-fi fties. Was it all for an illusion 1-Joey Rosenburg of the American dream? 2-Jeff (no last name given) Even in the golden age of advertising, a kill-or- 3-Shawn Bowen The scenarios involve the sexual exploits of be-killed aggression was essential- framed in macho 4-Justin Whatley back-stabbing executives who built the foundation bravado. As the top gun at Sterling Cooper, Hamm 5-Ben “Dan Steel” of modern television advertising with clever slogans effectively portrays Don Draper as a man trapped in 5-David Bennett that hid the real truth, like “Lucky Strikes are toasted,” the high-stress world of advertising. This tautly acted 7-Cary Cavanagh obviously avoiding the health concerns altogether. The series is a fascinating time-warp window into the 9-Nick (no last name given) underlying message of the storylines illustrates just button-down, uptight world of Madison Avenue right 9-John Smart how advertising creates pop culture, and thus, wields before the onslaught of the counterculture revolution 9-Steven McFall great power in our society. Of course, women were that ushered in an era of social and moral change in 9-Alex Costachesch treated like sex objects who were obliged to have sex the late 60s. 13-Andrew Fewox with the top executives in order to get ahead. Mad Men runs Thursday nights on AMC at 10.

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 13 if this was my last week of freedom… one last (back-to-school) hurrah BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] You may not have been paying attention. You corn and spend an entire day watching the movies may have been avoiding calendars altogether. You you missed when they were in theaters. Or, better may have been praying the day would never come. yet, head to the nearest theater and take in a double spoiler alert! Alas, the end is near: school is just a couple of short or triple-feature. Check out the movies everyone has weeks away. With just a few more precious days of been talking about so you’ll have an opinion when freedom left, now is not the time to stay home and they come up at the lunch table. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows play video games. Now is the time to act. Now is the time to get out of the house and live before spending get wet BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] your days inside, shackled to a desk and waiting for This is completely separate from the beach for the fi nal bell to ring. If this was my last week of free- a reason. There’s a different atmosphere at a swim- WARNING: This review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows contains some minor spoilers. dom, here’s what I would do: ming pool or waterpark and you should experience it If you haven’t read it and don’t want to know, stop reading now. while the weather still allows. Adventure Landing has sleep until noon some great water park specials throughout the week While this last installment of Harry Potter One character that I still want to know more Sleeping in is a blissful privilege of the young. so you’re guaranteed to have a good time on a small certainly wasn’t my favorite out of all the books, it about is Draco Malfoy. He never really explains Take advantage of it while you can! Some people budget. is a fi tting end to the series. why he spared Dumbledore in the last book, al- may think it’s wasting your day, but don’t listen to As a student of mythology, it was diffi cult though that is what most certainly saves him from them. They probably aren’t thinking clearly because soak up some culture for me to see any way around the death of Harry death in this book. they don’t get enough sleep. With several months of It’s not a popular opinion among most young Potter. By the fourth book in the series I thought While Ron, Hermione and Harry drop out crack-of-dawn rising in your future, and even more people, but museums are not all boring. Jacksonville the same thing that I thought after watching the of school to search for the Horcruxes containing once you reach adulthood, hibernate while you can. has some great science and art museums that are second Matrix movie: the hero has to die. pieces of Voldemort’s soul, their school mates are Just be sure to get to bed early the weekend before both entertaining and interesting. In fact, MOSH, Death, and the threat of death, looms around dealing with the changes at Hogwarts. Voldemort school starts so you’re body doesn’t hate you come MOCA and the Cummer all have interactive exhibits every corner in the now sinister wizarding world. has taken over everything, including the Ministry Monday morning. and areas that let you get hands-on and creative. Many characters die and the body count of this and Hogwarts. Snape is installed as headmaster Spend a couple hours, or a whole day, exploring tale is certainly higher than it’s ever been in any and Death-Eaters roam the halls. We get a hint go to the beach these educational but fun museums. of the other books. Expect deaths in the beloved of what happens there, as many of the students Maybe you’ve already spent all summer at the Weasley family and amongst Harry Potter’s ad- rebel, but I’d love to see a short book on the ad- beach. Maybe not. Either way, pack your sunscreen get active mirers and friends. Any fan can expect tears, so ventures of Neville, Luna and the other students and towel and get all your friends to meet you for And I do not mean go to the gym. Go old keep the tissues handy as you read. The pace of during this horrible year. one last day of basking in the sunshine and playing school and head to a skating rink like Skate Station, death varies. Sometimes there’s time to mourn, The word is that Rowling will be writing a in the surf. You won’t get a chance to do something where they have terrifi c weekly specials for indi- other times the death comes in the thick of battle sort of encyclopedia of the Harry Potter world, in like this again for another year once teachers start viduals and families. Or go to Jacksonville Ice for a and grief must be pushed aside in favor of sur- which she will mine what she’s already written and giving out homework assignments! cooler skating experience. If you prefer your feet stay vival. fi ll us in on the interesting histories of background on the ground, participate in a pick up soccer game It’s not all tissues and funerals though; characters (such as Dean Thomas). It’s possible take a road trip at Klutho Park in Springfi eld on August 4th (for more there’s enough high adventure in the book to keep that she might include tidbits from their adventures A change of scenery can turn a boring summer info, visit sparcouncil.org). Get moving in a fun way you entertained and interested, including a thrilling during that year, so I’m looking forward to it. into something to brag about once school starts. If and make new friends while you’re at it. break-in at Gringotts, a polyjuice infi ltration at the Most readers will fi nd the epilogue of The you’ve been saving the money you’ve earned from Ministry of Magic and a fi nal battle royale on the Deathly Hallows to be a bit saccharine sweet, as your summer job, head down to Orlando and hit up get some fresh air Hogwarts grounds. we check in on the main characters who have one of the amusement parks. Broke or afraid of roller Exploring the great outdoors has become a Rowling is a genius at changing our percep- survived, nineteen years later. After reading it, it’s coasters? Head to Daytona or even St. Augustine thing of the past for most kids. Take this last week to tion of a character. By the end of the book you’ll apparent that the series itself is no longer apt to with a group of friends and check out their beaches get back to the days when kids would spend all day know the true character of the inscrutable Snape center around Harry Potter, though Rowling cer- and shops. You don’t have to go very far or spend a playing outside and would resist when their parents (which I can’t possibly spoil for you). Harry’s tainly leaves the door open as far as adventures at lot of money to have a good time and make lasting called them in for dinner. Tree Hill Nature Center in Aunt Petunia might seem small minded and mean Hogwarts are concerned. The next generation of memories. Arlington is a wonderful place to remember how cool (and she is) but we get a glimpse of the motives witches and wizards may prove almost as interest- nature can be. With trails, live animals and a Florida behind her behavior. Even the bully Dudley un- ing as Harry Potter’s generation was. have a movie marathon Natural History Museum, there’s plenty to do and dergoes a bit of a change of heart at the last mo- After I fi nished the book I began trolling Rent a bunch of good DVDs, pop a ton of pop- see. ment. Each time we learn something new about spoiler sites, looking to see if anybody got it right a character’s history or see them in a different or had access to insider info. It turns out that the light, we’re reminded that sometimes we ought to answer is mostly no. Most sites that claimed they the countdown has begun reserve judgment about a person until all the facts had spoilers were also headed with disclaimers as Here’s a list of fun events for all ages happening in the Jacksonville area between now and August are in. Of course, even when we know all the bare to the accuracy of the info. One Christian-based 20th, the offi cial fi rst day of school: facts, we still can’t always know the motive be- site said they were posting spoilers and making hind a character’s decisions. In Harry Potter, mo- them as boring as possible to prevent anyone from August 4: Jacksonville Axemen vs. Jamaican August 12: Aly and AJ at Times-Union Center- 7:30 tive is everything. Why someone does something wanting to read the book. Their spoilers turned out Rugby League Team at UNF Hodges Stadium- 5 pm- Info: (904) 633-6110 is as important as what they do. to be completely inaccurate. pm- Info: www.jaxaxe.com While the lives of each character in the Pot- Despite slight leaks of reviews here and August 14: Thomas and Friends Live! at Times- ter universe aren’t described in detail, we get an- there, most news organizations and reviewers August 4-13: Florida Tax Free Shopping- Info: Union Center- 10:30 am and 7 pm- Info: (904) swers to the things we need. Almost every impor- sought to keep the surprises in the book a secret. myfl orida.com 633-6110 tant question from the last six books is answered Even the notoriously early review in the New York and wrapped up in a bow. Times avoided major spoilers. On the Internet and August 8: An Inconvenient Truth at MOCA Jack- August 18: Dog Days of Summer at MOSH- 10 am- Dumbledore, whose past had always been in print, most things that even contained a hint of a sonville- 7 pm- Info: (904) 366-6911 Info: themosh.org somewhat mysterious, expect for a few accolades spoiler (like this article) came with a warning. The and random facts, is revealed more fully in death real miracle is that most people didn’t strive to ruin August 8-12: Jacksonville Suns vs. Carolina August 18: Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Tampa Bay than he ever was in life. And, yes, Dumbledore is the joy of discovering the story for the fi rst time in Mudcats at Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville- Info: Buccaneers (preseason game)- 7:30 pm- Info: dead, actually dead. the pages of Rowling’s book. jaxsuns.com jaguars.com

14 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper changes you can expect now that the pearl sells liquor by jon bosworth

Dudes will become worse dancers – Typically He’ll also feel extra special being the one that the honkies that hang out at bars like the Pearl can recount the evening’s events for you. The are bad dancers, but you never knew it before best part is, everyone else will be drinking because they were too self-conscience (or liquor too, so they’ll never remember Sparky “cool”) to get out and shake a leg. Liquor was there! changes all of that. Prepare yourself for the hilarity that is a whisky drunk trying to grind The Trees Come Alive – Although you can get with a girl when he can’t even stand up. plenty drunk on beer (especially Stella or ESB) it just doesn’t compare to a stiff cocktail. At Less cuts, more bruises – Instead of random the Pearl you have grown accustomed to the broken beer bottles on the back deck or in the giant indoor trees, but now that liquor is mixed bathroom during the height of the party, you into the equation, you must be careful. Remind can expect RDBs. Random Drunk Bruises. You yourself that you have not wandered into a will be drinking less Bud in the bottle and more musical forest and urinating is not an option. rum and coke. So instead of getting glass in your Berkenstocks, you’ll be piecing together Love Rock Ballads Again – As the Bible says, the mystery of your night through bruises and “beer is a brawler and wine is a mocker.” the recollections of your friends. Neither of these drinks can make you love rock pub profi le ballads by Snow Patrol, Coldplay or Interpol. Designated drivers make everyone happy Only liquor has the power to make you sappy – You know that dorky kid that always wants enough to fi nally be able to stomach these The Pearl adds liquor to the mix to hang out but you just don’t want to be seen horrible bands. And that’s what those hot with him? Bring him along. Now that the Pearl girls are really looking for, someone that can sells liquor – you’re going to need a driver. So stomach Coldplay and put Snow Patrol songs BY CHRISTINA WAGNER Sparky can come as long as he doesn’t drink. on mix CDs. Thank you SoCo and Lime! For the whole three of you that haven’t been duction of the always fantastic Happy Hour, you can to the Pearl, it’s a lot to take in. Inspired by a dream now get silly full liquor style, instead of restricting that once visited Christy Frazier, the Pearl is a fan- yourself to their many domestic and imported beers tastic 2,500 square foot space, located in Historic on tap. My personal favorite is Friday night with VJ Springfi eld and fi lled with indoor tree sculptures, Jaren. He supplies not only rocking tunes, but ac- disco ball backdrops and the locally legendary light- companies them with classic, new and sometimes up dance fl oor. Being that I’m good friends and a rare videos projected on three giant screens through- former fl atmate of Christy, none if it really surprises out the venue. You now have no excuse not to bring me. She started out in the business with the Art Bar, your asses down to the Pearl and take in a delicious located in Riverside, back in July 1999, blowing Bombay Sapphire and tonic and an overall experi- people away with the uber-fantastic fancy toilettes, ence you would not likely expect from the some- which sprouted into an unexpected hobby that times cookie-cutter bars in the town we call home. landed her special requests from the likes of Danny Elfman. The Art Bar closed back in spring of 2005 due to an ownership change of the building the bar was in, but that gave Christy the incentive to purchase instead of renting. The Pearl opened only a few months later in July of 2005 fully equipped with her signature eccentric collections trapped inside shadow boxes inside the bar, picture frames all over the wall and even in the hallways leading to the 2,000 square foot deck out back. If the trees weren’t magnifi cent enough, there are 1,300 actual leaves attached to their limbs displaying just a hint of her impeccable attention to detail. How does she operate? “My biggest thing in the whole wide world that I think is great is that I don’t own an alarm clock. That’s why I work so hard.” But this article isn’t just a journey into the obvi- ously chaotic mind of Christy Frazier. She has once again raised the bar in the world of indie-rock pubs by introducing a liquor license to her already stellar resume. After months and months of grueling paper- work, licensing and purchasing nightmares, she has her new liquor license cleverly decorated in glitter, sporting a kiss mark for all eyes to see in an antique picture frame on the bar. With new nightly drink specials and the reintro-

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 15 Mediterranean, Greek and Middle Eastern Cuisine mediterranean 3RD STREET DINER AND BAKERY (223 9th Avenue DWIGHT’S MEDITERRANEAN BISTRO (1527 Pen- South, Jacksonville Beach. 904-270-0080) man Road, Jacksonville Beach. 904-241-4496) Forget super snobby French foods and dressing Cozy and high end, the romantic Dwight’s is one up for dinner. Sometimes you just crave a diner of those gems tucked away in an anonymous strip experience, even if you do pay the price for it later mall. People go back for the handmade ravioli with a raging case of heartburn. In a cookie-cutter and the award winning crab cakes. It’s a Mediter- world of commercialism, it’s refreshing to fi nd a ranean/French-style bistro with an eclectic twist. place like the 3rd Street Diner and Bakery. Items Beer & Wine. Open 5:30 pm- 10 pm Tues- Sat. you will want to sample are anything Greek (the $$$$ place is run by a Greek family) and any of the des- serts. Many places that are known for their des- HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN (2005 Park St. 5- serts simply buy them from a bakery or someone Points. 904-381-9394) who specializes in cooking sweet confections. Well-priced Mediterranean and Middle Eastern fast Such is not the case at the 3rd Street Diner, much food is what you’ll fi nd served up for lunch at this to the joy of their patrons. Full Bar. Open 6 am- 2 5-Points favorite (they also have a Regency Mall am daily. $ location). Hummus, tabouleh, wraps, salads and falafel are all available for lunch and dinner. With middle eastern its strategic location, you can see the shopping district of 5-Points and all the fascinating alt- THE CASBAH (3628 Saint Johns Ave. Avondale. scene folks, artists, hippies and yuppies who walk 904-981-9966) through. At 5 pm the menu switches over to dinner Jacksonville’s coolest hookah bar also has some and you can order Mediterranean Shrimp and Ke- of the best Middle Eastern cuisine in the area. bab Platters for about $11-$15. Beer & Wine. Open Because it’s open so late, it’s very popular for a 10 am-10 pm daily. $ late night bite. Try their fool, which is a heartier dip than hummus, made with fava beans. The Casbah also has Turkish coffee to sip with some baklava. MEDITERRANIA RESTAURANT (3877 Baymead- On Thursday, Friday and Saturday Nights, you can ows Rd. Southside. 904-731-2898) This Mediterranean restaurant serves traditional catch live belly dancing show. Beer & Wine. Open Mediterranean entrées, such as spinach pie with 11 am- 2 am every day. $$ feta (called spanikopita) or stuffed grape leaves (dolmades) and Italian dishes of eggplant and fet- LAYLA’S (2016 Hendrix Avenue. San Marco. 904- tuccini. A comfortable family-style atmosphere 398-4610) and a spacious banquet room, makes this an ideal With a sultry atmosphere and Thursday night Jazz, place to take large families with a taste for Greek Layla’s is a frequent haunt for Theatre Jackson- and Italian. Beer & Wine. Open 11 am- 2 pm Mon- ville patrons before and after shows. They have a Fri; 5 pm- 10 pm Mon- Sat. $$ picturesque patio area for hookah smokers. Down a few drinks during their Happy Hour (4 pm-7 pm Monday-Saturday) before hoofi ng it through San CAFÉ MIRAGE MEDITERRANEAN GRILL (301 10th Ave North Jacksonville Beach. 904-241-8272) Marco’s theater and shopping district. Layla’s is Beer & Wine. Open 6 pm- Midnight Tues- Thu; 6 also open late, so it’s a great place to relax, drink pm- 2 am Fri-Sat; Closed Sundays & Mondays. and eat. Food selections range from seared tuna entrées and Middle Eastern favorites such as hum- mus and grape leaves to their Shawarma Lamb ZAITOON (13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Jackson- Wrap. Full Bar. Open 11 am-11 pm Mon- Fri; 5 ville. 904-221-7066) KEBAB MEAL (see review to the right) Full Bar. Happy Hour Tues- pm-11 pm Sat-Sun. $$ Thu 5 pm- 7 pm. Open Lunch 11 AM - 3 PM Tapas 3 PM -5 PM, Dinner 5 PM -10 PM Tuesday-Sun- HALA CAFÉ (4323 University Blvd, Jacksonville. day; extended hours through 11 pm Fri-Sat $$$ 904-733-1855 & 9735 St Augustine Rd # 1. Man- hidden mediterranean darin. 904-288-8890) greek Making every type of Baklava possible, the Hala Café is often a choice for a Middle Eastern lunch ATHENS CAFÉ (6271 St. Augustine Rd. Southside. buffet and fresh tabouleh. They’ve got three loca- Zaitoon Grill 904-733-1199) tions. At the locale on University there’s a grocery You won’t soon forget your experience at Athens store attached, so you can shop for exotic ingredi- Café, which is decorated with the philosophy of ents after you eat. Hookah smoking isn’t allowed BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] “more is more” in mind. This family-owned eatery at any of their locales, but you can buy your own serves up some of the best Greek home cooking in from the place on University. Beer & Wine. Open “ZAITOON (pronounced zay-toon) n. 1. the Arabic word for “olive” 2. an offering Jacksonville. Favorites include Moussaka (a Greek 11 am- 9 pm Mon-Sat; Closed Sun. $ of peace; 3. a garnish to wonderful food; 4. “Northeast Florida’s most distinctive eggplant dish). Beer & Wine. Open 11am-2:00 & 5 Mediterranean grill” pm- 10 pm Mon- Sat; Closed Sun. $$ SAHARA CAFE (10771 Beach Blvd, Jacksonville. 904-338-9049) Zaitoon is a relatively new restaurant, just half-a-year old, hidden on the right arm of the upscale Harbor APOLLONIA CAFÉ (11018 Old St. Augustine Rd People come in for the kabobs, tabouleh and hum- Village Shopping Center, notable for its Steinmart and decorative, beach-inspired fountains. suite 107. Mandarin. 904-292-0600) mus but they stay for the hookahs and the drink Because they haven’t done a whole lot as far as advertising is concerned and because they’re tucked Because it’s family-owned and tucked into a shop- specials. Open late seven nights a week, they have out of sight in the shopping center, Zaitoon Grill is still a bit of a secret. It won’t be long, though, before ping center just off of I-295 on Old St. Augustine, belly dancing on the weekends. If you can’t stand they’re discovered. most folks don’t know about the Apollonia Café. not being connected to the internet, Sahara Café Dark wood, lush vibrant colors and a sultry menu make this a great place for unconventional romance. Lamb, lasagna and the stuffed grape leaves are all offers free high speed internet on the premises. Why take her to a French restaurant when you can do something that’s far more exotic? favorites of patrons. Beer & Wine. Hookah enthusiasts can get a deal on Tuesdays, as Zaitoon cuisine delves deeply into the Mediterranean, borrowing from each tradition in the area— Open Tue-Thu & Sun 11am-9:45pm; Fri-Sat 11am- the price of a hookah smoke is just $6.99. Beer & Spanish, French, Italian, Greek and Middle Eastern. The Mediterranean is such an intriguing mélange of 10:00 pm $$ Wine. Open 4 pm- 1:30 am daily. $$ cultures and cuisines, so Zaitoon has plenty to choose from. They blend tried-and-true family recipes with contemporary techniques.

16 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper LAYERED HUMMUS

A dark wood, full bar serves the need of Zaitoon’s patrons. The wine list is more than adequate, with wines not just from the Mediterranean, but from around the world. The wine by-the-glass menu is broken down by taste rather than by just reds and whites. Later on, in the by-the-bottle section, it’s also grouped by country. Listed from lighter fl avored wines to more full fl avored wines within each country. This way you can try a wine that fi ts your palate with the minimum amount of fuss. They also have wine fl ights, a selection of three, 2-ounce tastes of different wines. There’s a decent list of after-dinner coffee liqueur drinks and a martini list. The appetizers, called “tapas” in the Spanish tradition, are divided into items that are served cold or hot. On the warmed or hot side, you’ll fi nd spanakopita, a Greek dish of butter brushed phyllo pastries baked and fi lled with spinach, sweet onion and feta. There’s also fl ash fried calamari and the ever-popular Middle Eastern favorite of kibbie. Under the cold tapas there are a number of spreads for breads, including a signature dipping sauce. In this section I’d have to recommend the layered hummus here over their plain hummus. Fresh tomato, cucumber, red onion, kalamata olive, spinach and feta cheese top this layered hummus dish. Like most good Mediterranean restaurants, Zaitoons includes a lentil soup on the menu. The soup selection is sparse as it is most places, with just a few selections, but the salad section makes up for it with a number of varied choices. I sampled the Roasted Beet & Curried Walnut, served up generously with feta on a bed of mixed spring greens. Salads served here come in side portions or full portions and side portions come with all kebab entrées. Skewerless kebabs form the bulk of the lunch menu, including tasty lamb, beef and savory chicken. The best choice is a combo kebab of two different kinds of meat. At dinner try Zaitoon’s Spanish Paella, with local shrimp, mussels, clams, calamari, and chicken sautéed in a white wine then baked over a chorizo and oven dried tomato risotto. You might want to sample their classically Greek Moussaka, a napoleon of eggplant, potato, ground sirloin, lamb and tomato with a Bechamel, or white sauce. Chicken lovers will fi nd it hard to resist the description of their Sicilian Chicken, grilled and served with dried chilies, potato, bell peppers, tomato, olives, capers, and red wine amid basmati rice. Under desserts you might want to give the kataifi a try. This Middle Eastern treat is also very common in Greece. It’s made from a light, shredded dough topped with honey or a sweet syrup. There’s also the classic baklava. I sampled a raspberry and baklava that was just plain delish. So if you’re looking for a new place to go, give Zaitoon a try. They’ve got a great bar, a patio for smokers and excellent kebabs.

(13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Jacksonville. 904-221-7066)

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 17 If you were to go back to school, what would you go for? Some college graduates wish to return to school to get a formal education in their fi eld to replace that History degree they will never use. Others have never had the opportunity to go to college, but want to get a career going so that they can escape their low-paying jobs. That is why many go to trade schools such as Florida Technical College to learn a specialized craft at a fast pace and become a valuable asset to a particular industry while increasing their own net worth. More often than not, college graduates get paid better, promoted faster, and have more leverage when looking for work.

fruit juice college Florida Community College at Jacksonville needs to change the preposition in its name. Shouldn’t it be Florida Community College in Jacksonville? They’re the institution of higher learning, what do I know? Once known as Florida Junior College, FCCJ used to be called FJC, thus earning it the moniker Fruit Juice College. At the time it was seen as an insult, but fruit juice is actually quite good for you, and FCCJ doesn’t play nice with any easy acronym. (Finally Caught Car Jacking?) But FCCJ is defi nitely the place to start when you are looking for the quickest path to a degree. If you have less than two years of college under your belt, meet with a counselor at FCCJ fi rst and let them show you how you can get back into the swing of scholastic aptitude. FCCJ offers a great deal of programs, not just formal academic programs. From distance learning pro- grams that utilize Internet and cable television to adult enrichment programs that can help you learn how to re-upholster furniture, design and create clothes, or other skills that don’t have anything to do with any type of degree. They also provide a great deal of classes in the evening, on the weekend, and at a various campuses on every side of Jacksonville. Although FCCJ has recently announced that it intends to become a four year college, it is primarily a two year institution where you can attain an Associate of the Arts or Associate of Science degree. For more information go to fccj.edu. And when it comes to fi nding a good professor, always check out ratemyprofes- sors.com to make sure you have a good teacher because a bad teacher can mean bad things at FCCJ and furthering their counselors aren’t allowed to provide that sort of opinionated information. associate of the arts degree The fi rst step to a formal four-year degree is attaining your AA from a community college. Although it is of course true that you could start at a four-year university such as the University of North Florida, these formal institutions aren’t always as able to work around a busy person’s schedule, and the professors are not always as sensitive to the fact that you have a full time life outside of full time school. If you intend to go to a four year university from the start, be prepared to make a full time commitment to that institution. However, if your education you get an AA from FCCJ, most area colleges, private and public, will accept you as a junior. Although the name may seem tricky, this degree has nothing to do with art. “Liberal Arts” is a standard term for the meat of your education. Liberal Arts is the part of your degree that means you have a well-round- ed education. It is because accredited colleges insist on a foundation in Liberal Arts that you can get a good by jon bosworth job at Citi Financial with a degree in Art History. Although you majored in a fruity subject, they know you got knowing is half the battle some math in there somewhere too. At FCCJ you can get through all of those required Algebra and Biology courses at a good price and Few people will tell you that there is anything bad about getting more education. around your own schedule, and then save the major-specifi c courses for the four year university. The will to educate yourself is rarely the thing that stops someone from doing so, there are usually other obstacles that trip us up. Among those obstacles are time, money and associate of science If you have no intention of going to a four year university but you want enough of a formal education to direction. get out there and get a good job, you should check out FCCJ’s AS programs to see if they have any degrees in a fi eld that interests you. From one of the best nursing programs in the state to a standout culinary program and paralegal programs, you can make two years of education really work for you. In the AS programs you Don’t let any excuses stop you. can skip much of the Liberal Arts stuff and just focus on the trade you really want to work. After complet- ing one of these programs, FCCJ has professionals in place that help you foray into the professional fi eld. If time is your issue, look into distance learning courses. Many schools offer online, Although they can’t guarantee you work, these programs have relationships with professional fi rms and can self-paced programs that allow you to earn a degree in your spare time. If you need the often help you get your foot in the door. classroom environment, FCCJ offers many evening programs at campuses all over town AS programs of study and JU also has a special program designed to accommodate the schedule of a busy • Automotive and Transportation • Aviation professional. • Biotechnology If money is your excuse, talk to the institution you are interested in attending about • Business • Computer Sciences and Information Technology their fi nancial aid programs. Ask the human resource department at your work about any • Construction Management and Building Trades assistance they provide for college students. Even minimum wage employees at large • Cosmetology • Creative Arts and Communications corporations often have access to fi nancial aid through their work that they don’t know • Criminal Justice, Fire and Legal Services about. There are many government subsidized programs that you may be eligible for • Culinary Arts and Hospitality • Early Childhood Management and Education that will pay for your classes and books 100%. When those programs aren’t available, • Engineering, Architecture and Interior Design student loans are among the easiest to get approved for and many scholarship and grant • Financial Services, Insurance and Real Estate • Health Care dollars go unclaimed. • Manufacturing and Industry The bottom line is, everyone, including fi nancial institutions, know that you become • Occupational Health and Safety • Offi ce Administration and Secretarial worth more money, to your debtors and society, when you are better educated. • Visual Arts, Performing Arts and Entertainment Technology

18 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper than the degrees earned in traditional programs. Besides the advantage of accelerated weekend and evening courses, students also have the chance to take classes within their peer group. Those who join the Accelerated Degree Program are often already professionals and a bit older than college age. “There’s great dialogue in the classroom…All these different industries represented in the students- who come from all sorts of industries and work environments- contribute to the discussion.” It’s a great program for face-to-face learning which can fi t around a busy schedule. For more info on the Accelerated Degree Program go to ju.edu/future/admissions/accelerated_terminfo. aspx or email [email protected] To CLEP or not to CLEP There are ways to get out of courses that might be a waste of time for those with ample life experience. For example, if you already speak Spanish, you might want to take the CLEP exam for Spanish. If you pass, you won’t have to waste time taking a Spanish course that you don’t need. Also, CLEP tests cost less than the cost of the course and the books, so you’ll save money as well. pace yourself CLEPing is only worthwhile if the institution you’ll be going to accepts the CLEP credits in exchange for coursework. JU does accept CLEP exams for some coursework, but you’ll want to schedule time with an advisor to make certain you can CLEP out for specifi c courses. A max of 30 credit hours (about 2 JU Accelerated Degree Program by erin thursby semesters worth) of courses can be CLEPed. Many of the students in JU’s Accelerated Degree Program opt to CLEP so they can get through their coursework more quickly. Some people who want a degree and work full time respond better to the interaction of a classroom Money, Money, Money environment than they would to distance learning methods like correspondence schools or online Getting the cash together to go to school can be a major hurdle, and part-time students just can’t get universities. the fi nancial aid that full time students can. In JU’s Accelerated Degree Program, the scheduling and fast pace Jacksonville University has a degree program for allows students to work full time while also being counted as a full-time student. just those people. The fully-accredited program is offered If the degree you’re seeking is job-related, it’s possible that your company may pay for some or all of your year round in 8-week sessions. Classes meet only twice educational costs. a week, on evenings or weekends. According to the JU website: “Accelerated Degree Program students may choose to utilize JU’s Corporate “The undergraduate Accelerated Degree Program Reimbursement Payment Option in which tuition payment is deferred until the 36th day following the processing was designed for people who have full-time jobs,” says of grades for the semester of enrollment. Your only initial obligation is [$75.00-$100] per semester. You then will Diana Peakes, JU’s Associate Director of Adult and be responsible for paying the balance due to Jacksonville University, at which time you will be allowed to register Graduate Studies. for the next term.” The program, which is tested and true, has Credit hours for the program will run about $375-$500, depending on how advanced the coursework is. been around for about 20 years. When they began, they Parking is included, likely because all the classes are in the evening and weekends, when parking isn’t as much studied the educational needs of Jacksonvillians. of an issue. “What we found locally was that around 21% of our adult population has a B.A. That’s a small percentage.” The accelerated program was started to JU Accelerated Degree Fast Facts give busy people the option to continue their education in • There are about 350-400 people in the program at a given time. the shortest period of time possible. • The graduation rate is 90% It doesn’t mean that these degrees are any easier • B.A.’s include business management, marketing and administration. to earn than traditional degrees; in fact, the coursework • Master’s Degree programs include Business Administration and an Executive M.B.A. often packs in more in a shorter period of time. On • Credit hour cost: $375-$500 per credit hour transcripts, these degrees are counted as no different • Average cost of books per class: $100.

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 19 Colleges. You’ll want to type in the address yourself rather than linking to it, since dummy sites that look similar are sometimes linked to pseudo-schools that hope you’ll mistake it for the real thing. schools on the web Some online schools aren’t based in this region. If you aren’t sure where a school is based or if it isn’t based in Florida, go to ope.ed.gov/accreditation/Search.asp, the search page on the US department of Education. Use the menus to select the kind of school you’re looking for. They will tell you if a school is online degrees by erin thursby accredited, for how long, and if they’ve had any problems with accreditation. For working professionals and for people who need to work while pursuing their degree, online degrees age are a great way to go. Choosing an online school can be a tricky business, since there are plenty of diploma Even if your school is accredited, you might not want to choose one that doesn’t yet have any kind of mills and scams on the Internet. Here are a few tips and things you’ll want to look for in an online school: track record. If a school has several crops of graduates out there, it makes it easier to investigate things like rate of employment, customer/student satisfaction and rate of graduation. These are all things you’ll want to accreditation look at before you sign up. The fi rst thing you’ll want to check on is accreditation; otherwise you might be stuck with a useless piece of paper after spending time and money. An outside agency reviews the school’s programs to see if good tech & support it meets certain criteria that determine the school’s legitimacy. Schools that meet the criteria are granted It’s a bad sign if the only address or contact info on a site is an email address and a P.O. box. Technical accreditation. This is meant to protect students from schools that give them a diploma without providing them glitches do happen, and it’s important that you’ll be able to contact the university by phone, if need be. Check with the knowledge that’s generally expected as a result of that degree. to see that the teachers employed by the school are at least a little web/tech savvy, though not all instructors Unfortunately, anyone can claim to grant accreditation. You’ll want to look for an agency that’s backed will be. The best online schools will assign you an advisor who will work with you throughout your schooling. by the NEA. In Florida, the site you want to search is sacscoc.org, the Southern Association of Schools and employment considerations While distance learning and online degrees still suffer from a bit of stigma in the working world, getting a degree is still a great way to boost your resume. That being said, you aren’t required to announce to a potential employer that you got your degree online. Avoid institutions with the word “online” in the name. Ask to see a sample copy of transcripts to make sure that information isn’t plastered prominently all over the transcripts. You’ll also want to make sure that the school in question actually has a physical address with real, live people answering the phones in case your potential employer calls or wants transcripts. bad signs • The school claims you can earn a Ph.D. in “30 days or less!!” • The school’s name or acronym is suspiciously close to a famous legitimate school, ie. USF (University of Southern Floridians) or Harverd University. • They claim that the “school of life” is more important than actual school and will give you a diploma based on your “life experiences” or jobs you’ve held.

Despite all these dire warnings, online learning has really become a useful tool, especially for those who have experience but are looking to be employed at the next level; something a degree can give them. Whether your reasons for seeking an online school are the fl exibility of the schedule, a better job or a way to work at your own pace, it’s become an excellent option for higher education.

20 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper live to eat, cook to live

culinary schools by erin thursby

Everybody has to eat, so anything that can be done to elevate eating to a pleasurable experience should be regarded as high art. A culinary school degree will certainly sharpen your skills, particularly in specialty areas such as pastries, but you will often have to work your way up from the bottom in much the same way someone who doesn’t have a degree would. The advantage of earning a degree comes from the experience you gain and the abilities you master, giving you an advantage over less invested job candidates. Here’s a list of some culinary schools close to Jacksonville, as well as two other notable schools here in the South. FCCJ They’ve turned out some of the best chefs in the First Coast area. You’ll fi nd their graduates in the kitchens at Pastiche, Crush, the Ritz-Carlton, Tastings and other fi ne restaurants in and around Jacksonville. FCCJ has always placed an emphasis on practical experience. Students get to cook for the Mallard Room, which has become an oft-booked spot for lunches, where students get to cook in a simulated restaurant environment. Programs of Study include Culinary Management, Restaurant Management, Catering, Dietetic Technician and Hospitality & Tourism Management. Most of these programs require about 64 credit hours, but Catering requires only 30. According to their website, the average starting salary is about $25,000, but graduates can eventually earn as much as $100,000 per year, depending on their area of study. For more info call (904) 766-6703 or go to fccj.edu/prospective/programs/culin_hosp_trv Art Institute of Jacksonville As far as Jacksonville is concerned, the Art Institute is the new kid on block. They opened this year be in demand and just began offering culinary programs this summer. The Institute tracks employment trends not only on a national level, but also on a statewide level. Plus, they help with employment placement. The Art Institute has three other locales in Florida, namely Fort Lau- Tulsa Welding School by erin thursby derdale, Tampa and Miami. The Jacksonville school is the 33rd Art Institute to open in North America (2 of Not every degree leads to a life behind a desk, wearing a tie and pushing paper. Some degrees involve the schools are in Canada). lighting up blowtorches and slicing through metal. I speak, of course, of the Tulsa Welding School, which has The culinary arts program handles cooking and dish presentation for the aspiring chef. You’ll learn a campus here in Jacksonville. nutritional information, how to keep things to code, how to keep your food overhead low, and how to build TWS is a respected welding institution because it’s been around for more than 50 years. It’s the largest a menu. You’ll also gain kitchen experience and learn how to work with others in a restaurant environment. accredited welding school in the country, with graduates numbering in the thousands. The school was found- Culinary Management deals with the business end of cooking, such as running your own catering business ed by two pipeline welders who recognized the growing need for welders in the industry, and as the need for or restaurant. Cooking, baking and practical management skills form the core of this program. For info on qualifi ed welders grew, so did the school. classes, call (800) 924-1589 or go to the web site at artinstitutes.edu/jacksonville. The newest TWS branch campus was opened in Jacksonville in November 2001 to accommodate the area’s training needs. First Coast Technical Institute Wayne Gordin, School Director of Jacksonville’s Tulsa Welding School, says that “last year’s…rate of It might be a Technical Institute, but they’ve got a well-respected Culinary Arts program. Graduates starting pay for graduates averaged $38,000.” will master the basics, including food science, preparation, and gourmet cooking. Baking, table service and The degree of Master Welder is where the “big bang for the buck” is, since they’re qualifi ed to do all food safety are part of the curriculum, in addition to hands-on training. They even have an option for culi- types of welding. The maximum pay for a master welder willing to travel can be a whopping $100,000 a year. nary studies in Europe. On the more practical side, they’ve got a course designed to help you understand Not bad for a 7-month program. how to buy and store food for a restaurant, a course that’s a defi nite must for those who want to open their According to some estimates, Gordin says that, “by the year 2010, we’re going to be short 200,000 own restaurant or manage their own kitchen as an Executive Chef. welders. That’s a huge shortage. The pay’s good now, but it will only get better.” Demand for TWS grads in First Coast Technical Institute is located in St. Augustine. For more info on their program go to fcti. 2000-2002 exceeded graduates substantially, and employers during this three-year period requested 900 org/programs/culinary/culinaryarts.htm welders more than the school had graduates. Because the demand is so high, professional welders can opt to work in nearly any geographic location, Orlando Culinary Academy and graduates of the TWS do indeed work worldwide. The school even has an employment department staff, The hospitality and restaurant industries are booming in this tourist town, so it isn’t surprising that which assists graduates in preparing resumes, securing interviews and passing specifi c employer welding they have a respected Culinary Academy in Orlando. They offer Le Cordon Bleu courses of study, focusing tests. on culinary arts, management and baking. Hands-on experience, instruction from top chefs and practical TWS in Tulsa started its Associate Degree program in Welding Technology in 1998. This two-academic- experience at the onsite school restaurant are all part of the package. Call toll free at (888) 793-3222 for year program contains the Master Welder program for the fi rst-seven months, with the next seven months more info or visit their website at orlandoculinary.com devoted to course material for a Welding Inspector. This concentration of study is not yet available on the Jacksonville campus. Johnson & Wales For “a culinary education without compromise,” try North Carolina’s Johnson & Wales University. It’s Available Degrees at the Jacksonville a bit far to commute, but the focus at this school is on preparing their students for a career in the culinary Branch of TWS: arts, not just for a job. Before you start, they ask questions about what direction you’d like to go in and Structural Welder- 3 ½ months, 16 help you draft a customized plan with their career counselors. Grads work for resorts, hotel and entertain- credit hours ment industries across the country at places such as the Food Network, Marriot International, Disney World Master Welder- 7 months, 30 credit and Legal Seafoods, just name a few. Many of their graduates also work as personal chefs for the rich and hours famous. Some even become celebrities themselves in the culinary world, featured in magazines and televi- sion. For more info on their program go to culinary.jwu.edu POTENTIAL EMPLOYERS: Plumbers & Pipefi tters Union In the world of cooking, experience counts for everything, so make sure your school has plenty of Fluor Global Services opportunities for hands-on experience and specifi c courses that you can highlight on a resume. You’ll also Systems Contractors want to research their graduates, if possible, and see what kind of restaurants they work for in the area. Schueck Steel You can search for people by school on MySpace or message boards, and if you have a MySpace account, JV Piping it’s possible to message alumni and ask about their experiences and level of satisfaction with their chosen Nepco school. Near or far, there’s a school for you in the culinary arts, just make sure it’s right for your needs. TIMEC CDK Contractors websites for chefs seeking employment Shaw Constructors topchef.com hcareers.com Auto Crane jobs.chef2chef.net starchefsjobfi nder.comeujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 For more info on Tulsa Welding School, go to weldingschool.com/index.html or call (877) WELD-JAX.

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 21 too cool for regular school

unusual career training schools by donald dusinberre Do you want to make more money? Sure, we all do. But most jobs require a certain level of training, and most people don’t realize that there are training schools for careers you’d never expect. In fact, there are even pole dancer schools, though Jacksonville isn’t home to any that I could fi nd. I guess you’d have to go a bigger sleazy city to get your degree in stripology. We discovered some truly interesting and strangely specifi c schools out there, and we de- cided to let you know about a few of them.

Riverside Hairstyling Academy

Hairstyling shops don’t hire just anyone off the street, although I wouldn’t have believed it after my last haircut. Maybe I should have fi rst checked to make sure my hairstylist graduated from Riverside Hairstyling Academy. Hairstyling is a profession that will always be in demand. Training Jacksonvillians since 1962 in the constantly changing fi eld of cosmetology, the Riverside Hairstyling Academy fully equips their students with all necessary skills and even helps them fi nd a job upon completion of their nine-month training. A cosme- video gaming degree tologist usually works on commission from their employer, though many go on to start their own business. Riverside Hairstyling Academy 3530 Beach Boulevard in Jacksonville 904-398-0502 DeVry University by erin thursby ABC Bartending School DeVry University in Orlando has recently launched their Video Game Design degree program. Most of the students currently in the program are under the age of 25 (no big surprise there), and there is a If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to make a Rum and Coke or a Whiskey Sour, then ABC Bartending high percentage of male students. Students who enrolled when the program fi rst began are now in their School is the school for you. If you’ve ever wanted sex on the beach, then…oh, nevermind. Normally, those 6th semester and haven’t yet graduated, but the program is defi nitely in demand. beverages would take years to master, but ABC Bartending School can make you an expert in as little as one “Game and Simulation Programming has been the fastest growing program in Central Florida for week. After you complete your training, you’ll be slinging the bottles just like Tom Cruise. the past few semesters.” Well, Tom Cruise probably doesn’t mix good drinks because the aliens told him not to, but you certainly Because the program is so new, they haven’t had any graduates, so they don’t yet have Rate of can. Since 1977, ABC Bartending School has been training bartenders from dozens of locations all over the Employment statistics for grads. But, says Eddie R. Wachter, Ph.D., Dean of Academic Affairs at DeVry country. They offer job placement and free refresher courses. University in Central Florida: “We anticipate a number of graduates in the spring of ‘08. According to in- dustry statistics, entry-level salaries (requiring 1 – 2 years of experience) for game development range ABC Bartending School from $45,000 to $60,000 per year.” 11757 Beach Boulevard in Jacksonville While there isn’t a comparable program at Jacksonville’s DeVry Campus, plenty of students start 888-COCKTAIL (262-5824) their studies in Jacksonville and later transfer when they get past the core curriculum. It isn’t just Jack- sonville students who transfer into the program. Apparently it’s popular enough that it draws students Professional Dealer and Player School, Inc. from all over the globe. “In-state students constitute the overwhelming majority of GSP students at DeVry University in Learn to play Crazy Eights and Go Fish with the big boys. You see, with card games, it’s not just about know- Central Florida. But due to the popularity of the program, students enroll in the GSP program in Central ing the rules of the game. You have to be fast and confi dent. Florida from 15 states and other countries outside the US.” Faculty qualifi cations include “advanced If you’re interested in working one of the countless casinos here in Jacksonville, then check out the degrees in Modeling and Simulation, Computer Science, Mathematics, and Computer Engineering.” Professional Dealer and Player School, Inc. They can prepare you for a career as a Blackjack or Poker Dealer. Some of the staff have even designed, developed and marketed their own games. Their intensive Poker Dealing course lasts six weeks, and their Blackjack Dealing course takes three weeks to Graduates apply high-level math and science skills to programming interactive video game im- complete. ages, and the focus is less on the artistic aspect of game design and more on practical application. “The focus of the program is on creativity of software programming in game development, as well Professional Dealer and Player School, Inc. as game software engineering and project management across multiple platforms…Applied research, 1233 Lane Avenue South in Jacksonville written and oral communications, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills in a technical environment 904-317-6537 or 904-783-2006 are integrated into the program.” Coursework includes game and simulation development, mathematics for game programming, game and simulation design, multimedia programming, software engineering, game engine design, and Alpha School of Massage Therapy programming for massively multi-player online games (MMOG). Reach out and touch someone. After completing your training at the Alpha School of Massage Therapy, you’ll be able to put your hands all over anyone who asks you to. Well, not all over them. employment in video game design The Alpha School of Massage Therapy trains their students in careers that improve the physical health of their clients in a number of ways. Upscale resorts and spas are among the most glamorous of employment According to Wachter, “The largest concentration of companies who employ graduates who opportunities, and the popularity of massage therapy has skyrocketed in the last few years. have an interest in game development are located in California and Texas, while Central Florida is the After you complete your Professional Massage Certifi cation program, you’ll be able to pass the National epicenter for simulation and training. Companies that are located in Central Florida and could employ Certifi cation Exam and become a licensed Massage Therapist. graduates include EA Tiburon, Intel, Walt Disney Internet Group, Walt Disney Imagineering, Game Beat, Lionshead Entertainment, LucasArts Entertainment, Big Huge Games, Helixe Games, Lockheed Martin, Alpha School of Massage Therapy and the US Government. 4642 San Juan Avenue in Jacksonville 904-389-9117

22 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper shedding labels and other live music dog problems shows calendar THURSDAY, AUGUST 2 interview with The Format Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) BY CHRISTINA WAGNER Lift Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) Everyone makes mistakes. Simon Rex did gay because we put in a lot of hard work in a van and Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299) porn, Nicole Richie drove on the wrong side of the doing a lot of tours with bands we might not have Big Engine Box Seats, Jax (908-7328) road, Britney Spears makes music and The Format liked musically, we now have the luxury of travel- made shitty albums. But people learn from their mis- ing in a bus with crew members. It’s expensive, Open Mic w/Krank Shaft Overtime Sports Bar, Jax takes, well at least The Format did. Although early but I like to think that putting in the time with some (786-5466) attempts left a sour taste on my sometimes preten- of the aforementioned tours justifi es it. It’s also Mike Sweet & Friends Kingshead Pub, St. Augustine tious palate, their recent album, Dog Problems, has nice now because we have the ability to pick and Park Street Band Ragusa, Jax (443-7888) given me hope for these once-again up and coming choose what tours we would like to do. Blistur Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach rocksters. Featuring creative and epic tracks with EU: Most bands mourn after being dumped (241-8221) hints of Americana and dark undertones, this release by labels, you guys party. Care to explain? Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359-0001) exudes freedom from, not only the short leash pro- NR: Labels and major radio are so 1998. vided by now-absent suits and record executives, EU: What was it like working with Roger Sweet Little Ditty Spare Time, Jax Beach (246-8099) themselves. This album allowed the talented duo an Joseph Manning Jr.? Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) almost out-of-body experience. They took chances A dream come true, but that was the NR: Matt Still Buckets, Jax Beach (246-7701) and they did it, not by reinventing the wheel, but by case with so many of the musicians that helped out taking the pure elements of their separate inspira- on Dog Problems. We were fortunate to work with Roger That Square One, Jax (306-9004) tions and combining them seamlessly. While most a ton of people we were in awe of and its really an Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004) bands mourn the ever-so-common getting “dropped” amazing thing to see them not only respond posi- Bath Party MOCA, Jax by their major labels, these boys throw parties, and tively to the music but to also add something of their EU: Did you boys ever think you’d bounce David Milam Shannon’s Irish Pub, Green Cove Springs for good reason. The split inspired not only the lyr- own to the songs that we wrote. One of the most back so gracefully after going through the behind- ics of the album, but the way they write it; with a no gratifying moments of my life. the-scenes hell most bands experience while bat- The Restless Kind The Plaza, St. Augustine holds barred attitude. EU caught up with Nate Ruess EU: Tell me a little bit about this “Gatorade tling with major labels? Wes Cobb Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) to talk about the new Format. Those things should never affect anyone’s Dance.” NR: Cornerstone The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) NR: It’s in the grave. This is the fi rst I’ve been music in a negative way, and as long as you have EU: You guys are making a pretty bold move reminded of it in a year and I can’t even remember the music you’re comfortable with then there is no Ron Rodriguez Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) by allowing your recent album, Dog Problems, how it went, but most of my dance moves are the point in letting a bunch of outdated people with out- Jason Anderson The Brick, Jax (387-0606) available for free download online. But you’re same, so it can’t be too hard. dated thoughts alter your goals. Dana Salmela House of Jam, Mandarin (262-3377) right, not a lot of kids are buying music right now. Karl W. Davis Wicked Davey’s, Fernandina How are the downloads coming along and have you seen a difference in the attendance so far? Little Green Men West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131) NR: It’s made a crazy difference in ticket sales Freeze Frame Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) and merch sales, which I guess is the next best Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) thing. We had 45,000 album downloads in the 2 weeks it was available, so I guess that either means Target X Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181) we made a bad record that no one was interested in Those Guys The Oasis, St. Augustine (471-3424) or it means people are really cheap. Chris Miller Springfi eld Station, Jax EU: I’ll be honest, I fi rst heard about you guys Abetting Royetta Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) a while back and wasn’t impressed at all by your earlier albums. When I cracked open Dog Prob- Matt Collins Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) lems I was blown away. Besides the absence of Jim Brady Kingfi sh Grille, St. Augustine (824-2111) the dark cloud (Atlantic Records), what happened Will Pearsall A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977) there? When did you guys get so good? NR: Haha. I agree. I guess you can compare it Mid Life Crisis Ragtime Tavern, Neptune Beach to an artist making a fi nger painting in kindergarden. (241-7877) It’s something you look back and laugh at but it Stu Weaver D.S. Kennedy Coffee, Jax might show early promise, we feel like every record De Lions of Jah Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) should be different and better than the last and the time in between writing and recording is spent listen- ing to music and becoming sponges of all different FRIDAY, AUGUST 3 sorts of genres, so I guess that happened the same Southbound Trucker The Landing, Jax way between and and Dog Problems Interventions Nate Holley Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) hopefully with Dog Problems and the next record. EU: Ruess, you waited a year before refl ect- Blue Blazes Frisky Mermaid, Fernandina (261-3300) ing on your break up, which ultimately inspired the Gary Campbell O.C. White’s, St. Augustine (824-0808) album. What were some of the benefi ts of waiting, Oscar Barnett Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) and why does the album sound so damn cheery? I think we were just so happy making the Ron Rodriguez & the Repeat Offenders Latitudes, NR: Jax Beach (247-6606) record that all of my personal problems only refl ect- ed on the lyrical end of things. Now that that’s out of Louder Than Eleven Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) the way, I wonder what I have to do to Sam in order Immortal Technique Fuel, Jax (425-3835) for him to make some dark music. Shoot his dog? Stu Weaver St. George Eatery, St. Augustine EU: You guys have been on the road with Dave Massey On the Rocks, Jax (685-5268) bands like Dashboard Confessional, All American Rejects and Switchfoot. How does life on the road Those Guys A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977) now differ from your past experiences? Black Kids TSI, Jax (635-3024) It’s a lot more comfortable right now, NR: Portugal the Man Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 23 with a wah-wah pedal. It comes very close to the Christina Wagner Spare Time, Jax Beach (246-8099) sound of bending notes on a guitar. Kerouline Band Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach To fi nd out more about this amazing group, I (249-9595) called Mark while the band was on tour in the Mid- Appetite For Destruction Freebird Live, Jax Beach west. (246-2473) EU: So, I’ve been listening to your album Little Green Men Brewsters Pub, Jax (223-9850) Bringing It Home. It’s funky and tight, with that hell-on-wheels sound of four trombones. This is a Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine (824-9317) fabulous record, and I’m glad you recorded live. Do you intend to record all your albums live? Also, Whaleface Rebar, Jax tell me how you got started. Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515) Mark: Absolutely, we believe that only live Jager Dave On the Rocks, Jax (685-5268) recordings are a true representation of the group’s sound. Besides, we love playing live and are not into Scholars Word Panama Hatties, St. Augustine (471-2192) studio recording. Craig Klein and I formed the band Str8 Up Tom & Betty’s, Jax (387-3311) in 1998 as a fun project because we always wanted David Milam Shannon’s Irish Pub, Green Cove Springs to hear a band with at least four trombones out front. When we found the players, we played a few Crystal Bessels Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) selected gigs and it took off from there. At the time, Baystreet West Inn, Jax (389-1131) we were working other jobs and projects. Soon, the Catching Thieves Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) Bonerama project was so much in demand by word Aerial Tribe Endo Exo, Jax (396-7733) of mouth; we decided it could be a full-time busi- ness. Matt Collins Pauly’s Pizza, Jax (727-9101) EU: You started the band for the right rea- Chris Miller Shanty Town Pub, Jax trombone army son–to have fun. If the band is having fun on Rhinocerous Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) stage, then the audience will usually have fun. Bonerama Mojo Kitchen, Jax Beach (247-6636) Soon, everyone is having a ball and goes home interview with Mark Mullins of Bonerama happy. As the years have gone by, are you still Robin Bankz Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach having fun? The Royal Treatment Fuel, Jax (425-3835) BY RICK GRANT [email protected] Mark: Yes, and if we weren’t we’d pack it in. Debra Rider Island Girl Cigar Bar, Jax Now, of course, we are in our 30s and 40s and we WHO: Bonerama ers and accompanied by a bassist, a drummer, and all have families with kids, so it’s diffi cult to go off Snore Landshark Café, Atlantic Beach (246-6024) WHERE: Mojo’s Kitchen at the Beach a sousaphone (a marching band tuba) player. The on an extended tour. But everyone in the group and Dubwise Elixir, Orange Park (215-4400) WHEN: Friday, August 3rd idea was to have fun and play a few gigs, and the all the band members’ wives are supportive and The Wobbly Toms The Nest, St. Augustine group was a hit from its very fi rst show. Soon, the believe in what we are doing, so we don’t mind tour- The mighty trombone army called Bonerama bone-masters were getting so many gigs, that they ing to expose the band to new audiences. We get to C-5 Spare Time, Jax Beach (246-8099) evolved in 1998 from the bayous of New Orleans. realized their group could be a full-time commercial a gig and worry about people showing up, but every Kickin Lassie Bourbon Street, Jax (641-8777) Trombone masters Mark Mullins and Craig Klein de- endeavor. However, Mark and Craig kept their original time the place sells out and we have a ball. It’s really Chuck Nash Your Place, Jax (221-9994) cided to form a band driven by four trombone play- prime directive- it had to be fun or they wouldn’t do why we can keep doing it and not get burned out. it. EU: I noticed that you have some vocals on So the project snowballed into Bonerama. The FRIDAY-SATURDAY, AUGUST 3-4 your new album. Are you planning more songs band performed as the house band for the all-star with vocals? Jody & the Driveshafts Trade Winds Lounge, St. comedy event Comedy Relief, which was recorded Mark: Yes, as a matter of fact, we are mov- Augustine (829-9336) live from Caesar’s Palace last November. It featured ing to all vocal arrangements, but keeping a few Blistur Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999) an all-star lineup including Billy Crystal, Whoopi instrumentals. Right now it’s about 50/50 vocals Quest Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) Goldberg, and Robin Williams. Recently, the band and instrumentals, but we are writing new songs all won the coveted Best Rock Band honor from the the time that include vocals, so that percentage will Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940) 2007 Big Easy Awards. change. Kaos Opera Jesters Court, St. Augustine The band believes that live is king, and re- Hunnert Proof New Neighborhood Tavern, Jax cording live is the only way to produce records. Mark sounded genuinely excited about Bon- (721-5087) The group released its third live CD titled Bringing erama, and his enthusiasm was infectious. The band Livid Cap’n Odie’s, Mayport (241-8848) it Back Home, which I listened to before talking to includes Mark Mullins on trombone and vocals, Mark. It’s Chicago on acid, with a funky tight sound Craig Klein on trombone and vocals, Steve Suter Spade McQuade Fly’s Tie, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) that comes at you like a high-speed train. The band on trombone, Bert Cotton on guitar, Matt Perrine on Chris Tyler Band Arnold’s, St. Augustine members are all songwriters with many original sousaphone and Eric Bolivar on drums. The mighty Out of Hand Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181) songs in their repertoire, but they also perform trombone juggernaut rolls into Mojo’s Kitchen on selected covers, like an awesome version of Led Beach Boulevard in Jacksonville Beach on August Sidewalk 65 Champs Lounge, Ponte Vedra (285-7777) Zeppelin’s The Ocean. Mark plays a solo that sounds 3rd. Be prepared, because Bonerama will blow your Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004) like Jimmy Page’s guitar solo but on trombone and socks off. Deron Baker Trio Kingfi sh Grille, St. Augustine (824-2111) Those Guys A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977) Lisa & the Madhatters Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) Retrokatz Ragtime Tavern, Neptune Beach (241-7877) Driven Players Grill, Orange Park (264-4633) J. Sandler Band Simons Wine Bar, Jax (396-8088)

SATURDAY, AUGUST 4 Jax Pride Festival – Too Many Shoes, Nunez Seawalk Plaza, Jax Beach Robby Schenck Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) A Slight Breeze Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807) Lil Ronnie Frisky Mermaid, Fernandina (261-3300) Cassettes on Fire Yesterday’s, Jax (387-0502)

24 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Anastasia Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) anti-folk rock songs Rip Tide w/Brian Turner Conch House, St. Augustine (829-8646) Bigga Rankin Plush, Jax (743-1845) interview with Ben Kweller Guys With Ties Benefi t-El Toro Loco The Carling, Jax Kill Whitney Dead Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) Willie Mae Harpoon Louie’s, Jax BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] Poe Faces Incorporated Mongo’s, Jax Second of Sanity Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) WHO: Ben Kweller I want to play other songs. So I just WHERE: Jack Rabbits like to change it up. ‘On My Way’ is Sugar Bear Twisted Martini, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-8810) WHEN: Thursday, August 9th at 8pm really fun, ‘I Need You Back,’ ‘My Hollowpoint Militia Spare Time, Jax Beach (246-8099) Apartment.’ Right now my favorite Ben Kweller is no stranger to the music busi- Crabgrass A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977) ness. At the tender age of 15, Ben and his band song to play is probably ‘Red Eye.’ Radish signed to Mercury Records and seemed to XSisterZ Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) be on the fast-track to rock super stardom. But, as it EU: Why’s that? Self Employed CD Release Freebird Live, Jax Beach turned out, it just wasn’t their time. Fast-forward to BK: Because we sort of jam out on (246-2473) four years later when a 19-year old Kweller decided it towards the end and I get to really Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) shred on the guitar and do some to go solo. After playing some shows and sending After Eleven Brewsters, Jax (223-9850) out some homemade EPs, he got the attention of one soloing, which is something that a of his idols, Evan Dando of the Lemonheads. Ever lot of my fans don’t expect out of Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine (824-9317) since, Ben’s been touring and recording and touring me, and it’s more bluesy, which is some more. Today his anti-folk rock songs are a hit another sort of genre that I’m tapping The Cellar Dwellers Landshark Café, Atlantic Beach (246-6024) with those “in the know” and are nearing the edge of into on that song. So it’s just totally different. It’s EU: What happened to earn him the dishonor? mainstream audiences. EU recently caught up with really fun. BK: We were at a private party with only a few Payton Page Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Kweller to talk about life on the road with his young people there and I went up to him to say hi and put Mike Shakelford The Homestead, Jax Beach (249-9660) son, his plans to head back to the studio and his EU: On your latest album you played all the instru- my hand out to shake his hand and he just walked Stephen Pigman The Nest, St. Augustine disappointing run-in with Axl Rose. ments yourself. Was that planned? right by me and didn’t even acknowledge me and I BK: Oh, yeah, it was planned. It was kind of in the was a kid at that point, I was like 16-years old. So, I Freeze Frame Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) last minute though… I wanted to go in and make just thought that was such a dick move where Slash Leland McWilliams Tera Nova, Jax something really personal and unique. I wanted was the one that would talk to you no matter who EU: How’s the tour going? kLoB Endo Exo, Jax (396-7733) Ben Kweller: The tour is going really good. We just to portray the songs in a real personal way, so I you are. played a show in Chicago last night. There’s a place thought that doing the instruments by myself would Scholar’s Word Ocean 60, Jax Beach (247-0060) called Schubas, a really cool little venue. I played be the best way to do that because I wouldn’t be Ben Kweller will be performing at Jack Rab- Heavenly Noise Starlite Café, Jax there about four or fi ve years ago on the Sha Sha affected by any outside infl uence. bits on August 9 at 8 pm. Tickets are $15. For more Derick House of Jam, Mandarin (262-3377) tour and I had a lot of really good memories of play- information, call (904) 398-7496 or visit jackrab- Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855) ing there, so for this tour I wanted to play a bunch of EU: Did you ever feel like you maybe took on too bitsonline.com small venues and that was one of them that I really much? Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza Grill, wanted to go back to. BK: Yeah, sometimes it was overwhelming but I Jax (287-9900) always stayed focused and I had a great producer in Good Fortune Shanty Town Pub, Jax EU: Is your family traveling with you this time? the studio with me. His name’s Gill Norton and he’s BK: Not right now, but we’re going to be in New York a legend and when someone’s had a track record in a few days and then they’re going to join us for like that and has done it for so long, it’s easier to put SUNDAY, AUGUST 5 the rest of the tour. your faith in them and trust, and so he really was my Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471-5555) biggest cheerleader through the whole session. [He] Dan Shepherd Harpoon Louie’s, Jax (389-5631) helped me get through it and we made something EU: Is it tough traveling with a kid? 3 Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune BK: Well, it’s a different type of touring, but it’s really good together. Beach (241-8221) actually been really cool for me and Liz [Ben’s wife] JW Gilmore Gypsy Cab Company, St. Augustine because we actually get out and do stuff when we’re EU: You mention on your website’s FAQ that Axl on tour. We’ve been going to museums and aquari- Rose is the meanest celebrity you’ve met. Is that Big Engine Wild Bill’s, Jax ums and zoos and stuff like that, so that’s fun. still accurate? Bobby Flynn Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach BK: Ooh. Yeah, I think he’s probably still the mean- (249-9595) EU: What’s your favorite song to perform live? est celebrity that I’ve met. We haven’t met anybody Soulo Kingfi sh Grille, St. Augustine (824-2111) BK: It really changes like every day. I have a group [else] really. He was just such a dick when I met of favorite songs but then I get sick of them and then him. But Slash is way cool. Isaac Byrd Jr. De Real Ting Café, Jax Tarik Hassan Sahara Café, Jax David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Scholar’s Word Conch House, St. Augustine (829-8646) Jason Anderson Stogies, Jax Pili Pili Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) Flashback Ragtime Tavern, Neptune Beach (241-7877) Gary Campbell Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) Dana Salmela GQ’s, Jax Jimmy Parrish Carib Key, Jax Beach (270-8940) Mike Gottuso Seven Bridges, Jax (997-1999) Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) The Distance Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) A1A Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) Chillakaya Jack’s BBQ, St. Augustine Black Tusk, Dark Castle Shanty Town Pub, Jax Spade McQuade Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) 3rd Bass The Casbah, Jax (981-9966)

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 25 El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004) messin’ around…as a garage band…the line-up that Gary Campbell Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) we have now we’ve only had for about two, two and a half years.” The Show is the Rainbow TSI, Jax (635-3024) Most, if not all of the band was born in the 80s and Andrew ascribes their fascination with the era to MONDAY, AUGUST 6 exposure from parents and siblings. The band is learning to work together in Sol Island Music Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) songwriting and musical layout, in a “less is more” Charlie Walker Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) philosophy that they espouse on their website. Sam Pacetti The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) “When we write music we have to, like, some- times realize that there are, like, six of us in the band, Villisca Incident Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) so a lot of times we have to end up making sure that Lary Smith Harmonious Monks, Jax (886-3040) we mainly, like, write parts that, like, complement Joshua Morrison Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, everybody else’s part, so like, sometimes, like, Neptune Beach (241-8221) somebody won’t play and, like, other times it’s kinda Band of Destiny Square One, Jax (306-9004) like—not mainly that there’s not a lot going on in the songs as much as not everybody’s doing a lot at the Ocean Waves Trio The Oasis, St. Augustine (471-2451) same time.” Out of Hand My Place, Jax (737-5299) His record amount of “likes” was 11 times in Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) less than a minute. It was contagious. I went from Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) not saying “like” in any of my questions to, like, not being able to complete a sentence with out at least two. Thankfully, De Torres’ lyrics have the TUESDAY, AUGUST 7 word “like” in them a lot less than his interview did. Billy & Vinnie Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune like pop, just a little They’re actually, like, pretty good. De Torres and his Beach (241-8221) drummer Nico Hartikainen, who form the core of the Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) band, write the songs together, with input from other band members as they jam and shape each tune. Christina Wagner & Friends Mark’s Downtown, Jax The band is going to be going into the studio, (355-5099) punk according to De Torres, in October or November and Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) is hoping for a 2008 release “maybe like, early, like Dave Massey Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) Spring.” He’s mum on what label will be releasing Those Guys Hurricane Patty’s, St. Augustine (827-1822) the album, though the band will be announcing it interview with Danger:Radio soon. Left Alone Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) They’re doing their own touring this year, so Blues Night Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] you wouldn’t have seen them on Warped Tour. Last Ron Perry Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) year they played the Warped Tour in just a few of sound like he’s still in high school and his voice the cities, including Chicago, and they got to hop on Matt Still Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940) WHO: Danger:Radio with Boys of Summer, Metro Station, Ashway, and We the Kings hasn’t yet been subjected to hormones. It’s not far stage to great response. Debra Rider w/John Thomas Latitudes, Jax Beach WHERE: Jack Rabbits from the truth, since most of band members either They decided to tour now that many of the (247-6606) WHEN: Wednesday, August 8th at 7 pm just graduated high school or college. As of our band members have graduated from high school Out of Hand Palace Saloon, Fernandina Beach An infusion of pop and a smattering of nearly interview, only two of the band members could buy and, in the case of De Torres, college. He’s just Bill Rice Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) every 80s fad in music wraps its way around the beer. Still, like some of the best pop, their music is received his A.A. and sees this as a perfect time to musical stylings of Danger:Radio. These guys infectious and fun to listen to. I’ve put their song tour. Mystic Dino Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181) are proudly pop, and they aren’t afraid to show it, ‘You All Believe’ up as my song on my MySpace “I’ve always liked going to school,” says De Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax though, as vocalist Andrew De Torres says “We’ve page, a high honor to be sure. Torres “but I feel like I could go back anytime I Jimmy Solari My Place, Jax (737-5299) all got a special little place in our hearts for punk They’ve started to seriously tour and will be hit- want.” Seth Ramsdill Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach music.” ting Jack Rabbits this week. De Torres took the time I, for one, am glad that Danger:Radio is out and (246-4293) If there’s punk in their music, it’s sometimes out of his touring schedule to talk to EU about the touring, because I’ve become, like, a total fan. diffi cult to fi nd, hidden under layers of pop and band’s formation and future. Catch them in person singing pop-fi lled tunes Ron Perry Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) classically high-voiced vocals that make De Torres “We started the band in 8th grade, just kinda at Jack Rabbits on August 8th at 7 pm. El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004)

TUESDAY-WED., AUGUST 7-8 Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143)

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 8 Mr. Beam Casa Marina, Jax Beach (270-0025) Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299) Kids in the Way Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807) Rip Tide w/Brian Turner Eddie Bahamas, Jax Beach (241-3138) Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004) Elisabeth Williamson Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113) Jan Crawford & the Soul Sensations The Pier, St. Augustine Stu Weaver The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) Eric Dawkins Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) FunKtion Brix, Jax Beach The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396-3396) El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525) Sonoma Fuel, Jax (425-3835) Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)

26 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper within a painting seem to be purposely misleading or Sidewalk 65 Latitudes, Jax Beach (247-6606) disconnected. For instance, I did not perceive an im- Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) mediate correlation between a Smurf, a branch and a glass of lemonade labeled with the word “pretend,” Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737-5299) but I often assume that, even if the artist is choosing purposely non-sequitur objects, there has to be some- thing that links them. So I’m left with the puzzlement this painting causes, and when I recall the image, I immediately begin a new effort to decipher it. upcoming shows

Ben Kweller Aug. 9, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496

Mae Aug. 9, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Brad Paisley August 10, Jacksonville Arena, 630-3900

Pretty Ricky and Lil Boosie Aug. 10, Jacksonville Memorial Arena, 630-3900

Evergreen Terrace August 11, Fuel Coffeehouse. 425-3835

Aly & AJ August 12, Times Union Center, 633-6110

Lefty Williams Aug. 12, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496

Billy Bob Thornton & The Boxmasters August 14, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Blues Traveler Aug. 17, Freebird, 246-2473

Elekibass Aug. 17, TSI, 424-3531 subject matters Will Hoge Aug. 18, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 The Receiving End of Sirens Aug. 18, The Imperial, 475-0488 Michael Ealum at the Gallery at Screen Arts Little River Band August 25, Jacksonville Landing, FREE, 353-1188

Static X August 29, Freebird Live, 246-2473 BY DONALD DUSINBERRE [email protected] Each of Ealum’s paintings is distinct from the Everybodyfi elds Aug. 30, European Street, 399-1740 Recently, I took a trip to visit my favorite St. artistic energy. rest. Many artists create variations on a theme, which Stone Sour August 31, Plush, 743-1845 Augustine gallery, the Gallery at Screen Arts. Initially, Michael Ealum is a painter who employs play- makes their works too homogenous. I believe that I considered myself lucky to catch an exhibition near ful images, bold texture and soft colors to wonderful an artist can even go so far as to negate his/her own Musiq Soulchild Aug. 31, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 the end of its run, but it turns out that we will all have effect. The tactility of his canvases draws the viewer reason for creating art in the fi rst place, but Ealum is Poison w/Ratt and Vains of Jenna Sept 2, Jacksonville even more time to see it. Currently on display is the close to examine the way the paint is applied, while adept at balancing the unalterable characteristics of Arena, 630-3900 work of Michael Ealum, a talented and creative artist the playful images cause us to step back and contem- his painting style with a diverse visual vocabulary. As from the Jacksonville area, and the display of his work plate the work as a whole. he mentions in his artist statement, he is fascinated Blackwater Sol Revue w/JJ Grey & MOFRO, Los Lobos, Tony September is being extended through August. His exhibition is entitled “Subject Matters,” with thrift store purchases, and they often end up Joe White, The Legendary JC’s and The Lee Boys 2, St.Augustine Amphitheatre, The Gallery at Screen Arts is such a weird look- which might be intended to call our attention to the in his paintings, whether physically or in spirit. He ing little space, but it performs its duties beautifully, large subjects he often places in the extreme fore- retains a thread of familiarity through most of his www.blackwatersolrevue.com. and its director, Rob DePiazza, always packs the ground. Often accompanying the focal point is a sin- paintings while developing a distinct image on each The Rentals & Copeland Sept.2, Freebird Live, 246-2473 space with a large number of works from some re- gle prominent word or short phrase, which inevitably canvas. ally amazing local and national artists. It’s the kind of draws the viewer’s mind to certain “subject matters.” Take a trip down to St. Augustine (or Staug, as Dave Matthews Band Sep 11, O’Connell Center, Gainesville, place that immediately abolishes any doubt that you’ll The interesting thing about Ealum’s subjects is I enjoy calling it) and check out the current exhibition FL, (352) 392-1653 experience something fresh. Even without art on the that they don’t always strike the viewer with an obvi- at the Gallery at Screen Arts. The gallery is located at John Vanderslice Sept. 18, Café 11, 469-9311 walls, I believe that it still might vibrate with potential ous general meaning. In fact, the subjects and words 228 West King Street. Bruce Bruce Sept. 21, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Queens of the Stone Age Sept. 21, Plush, 743-1845

Angie Stone Oct. 6, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Nickel Creek Oct. 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Bonde Do Role Oct. 10, TSI, 424-3531

Sinbad October 12, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Clint Black October 13, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

John Gorka October 13, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311

Gregg Allman Oct. 14, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Dennis DeYoung Oct. 19, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Acoustic Alchemy Oct. 23, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Nada Surf, Sea Wolf October 27, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311

Dr. Dog, Delta Spirit, Emily Lacy October 30, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311

Reverend Horton Heat/Hank Williams III Nov. 1, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Dan Zanes Nov. 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Wynonna Nov. 30, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Jethro Tull Dec.11, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Johnny Winter Dec. 14, Freebird Live, 246-2473

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 27 anywhere in the county. I’d bet on that. The sets by Johnny Pettegrew, Scene Shop Su- culture & arts pervisor Robert Rupp and the crew, were big and bold AUGUST and I felt transported back to the castles of medieval times. The costume crew keeps topping themselves, 2 Regions Bank Artist Celebration-Jeanne Pelligreno Regions Bank, Orange Park as they produced colorful, eye-popping creations for the entire ensemble. Broadway could not have done 2-3 Summer Music Camp First Coast Community Music them any better. School/FCCJ Jax The leading characters were well cast and pos- 2-10 Summer Teen Workshop Orange Park Community sesed excellent voices and fi ne stage presence. I was , Orange Park Theatre impressed by Tyler Hardwood (Prince Dauntless), 2-11 “Closer” Orpheus Theater Group Body Gallery of Nick Jones (Sir Harry), Cody Russell (Minstrel), Ash- Jacksonville, Jax ton Vincent (Lady Larkin), Walter Ware II (Wizard) and 2-12 “Rather Strange Developments” Picasso, Kandinsky & Samuel Smid (King Sextimus). Fletcher High School Mondrian Cummer Museum, Jax senior, David Paul Kidder as the Jester, brought down 2-17 “Go, Dog, Go!” Seaside Music Theatre, Daytona Beach the house with his dance solo ‘Very Soft Shoes.’ As I have written in the past, he is the best dancer in Jack- 2-19 “Snapshots” Seaside Music Theatre, Daytona Beach sonville and a joy to watch. 2-19 “Peter Pan” Seaside Music Theatre, Daytona Beach 2-26 Impermanence: Recent Works By Andres Michelena MOCA, Jax 2-SEPT. 1 Brian Edmond Paintings Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra Beach 2-SEPT.2 Tradition in Transition: Russian Icons in the Age of Romanovs Cummer Museum, Jax 2-SEPT. 2 Smokey Joe’s Café Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax 2-SEPT. 3 The Cabaret of St. Augustine-Spirits Community once upon a mattress School of Performing Arts, St. 2-SEPT. 4 Hurricanes III-Dora The Destroyer Exhibit Beaches Museum, Jax Beach The 2nd Annual High School Summer Musical 2-SEPT. 17 “Lost & Found” Exhibit Women’s Center of Jacksonville, Jax BY DICK KEREKES [email protected] 2-OCT. 14 Dinosaurs & Ice Age Mammals MOSH, Jax 2-FEB. 28 Oh Say Can You See: American Art Cummer Once Upon a Mattress has once again come Carol Burnett originated the role of Winifred Museum, Jax and gone to the Jacksonville stages. This musical has the Woebegone many years ago. been popular over the years, and it is always fun to Beth Harvey, Operations Manager of the 3 First Friday Art Walk Various Venues, St. Augustine do and fun to see. It proved to be an excellent choice Wilson Center, has been the Producer/Pro- 3-25 Torch Song Trilogy , Jax First Coast Theatre Arts for the sponsors, The Nathan H. Wilson Center for gram Director of this show and last year’s Guys and Julia Fallon, who was remarkable as Adelaide 3-SEPT. 1 Exhibit Audrey M. Stultz “I’m Alive” Energy Lab Art the FCCJ Artist Series, since it is one of those fl exible Dolls. She is one of the reasons both have been so in Guys and Dolls last year, was even better as Queen Gallery, St. Augustine shows with a cast that numbered 78. This is an after- successful. She is an outstanding professional and Aggravain in this year’s show. Playing a woman at 4 First Coast Pride Festival Sea Walk Pavilion, Jax Beach the-fact review, but it is important nonetheless, as she assembled like-minded talent in her staff. Let me least twice as old as her, Ms. Fallon was convinc- often reviews are the only permanent public record of drop just a few names; Artistic Director-Matt Hemphill, ing and funny as the bossy mother. Paxon graduate, 4 Tattoo Artists Art Show Bogda Art Gallery, Jax artist achievement in the community. This production Music Director/Conductor-Scott Gregg, Vocal Director- Katie Swider, is headed for the FSU theatre program. 4 First Annual White Party-Guys With Ties The Carling, Jax certainly deserves to be remembered. Cathy Murphy Giddens, Choreographer-Michell Ot- As Princess Winifred (Fred!) she was short, spunky, 4 Tour de Pain The Landing, Jax If you read fairy tales, you probably remember tley-Fisher, Technical Director Johnny Pettegrew. The sassy and sang marvelously. I can’t recall seeing anyone ever doing this role any better. 4 Jacksonville Axemen Rugby League UNF Hodges Stadium, Jax the prince who would only be allowed to marry a names of the remainder of the extensive staff could princess delicate enough to feel a pea under a stack fi ll this review and it is through their creative talents The cast of “thousands” was excellent in every 4-SEPT. 1 “Expected/Unexpected” Exhibit By Daryl Bunn Jane of twenty-or-so mattresses. Mary Rodgers, daughter that this show, for a second year, is one of the most way, and it was a real treat to see such teamwork and Gray Gallery, Jax of the great Richard Rodgers, wrote the music and it professionally staged musical theatre productions energy on stage from the future stars of musical the- 5 Ken Hurley – Piano Unitarian Universalist Church, Jax has been a part of the musical theatre repertory since by actors under the age of twenty that could be seen atre at the community theatre and professional levels. 6-10 Creativity Camp The Art Center Cooperative, Jax A combined total of eleven schools were represented on the stage and the word is out that this will expand 8 Summer Cinema “An Inconvenient Truth” MOCA, Jax in future years. 9 Café Night Cummer Museum, Jax Mark your calendar for next July when the 3rd 9 Florida Artist Joanelle Mulrain “Suites of Nature” Deerwood Annual High School Summer Musical Theatre Experi- Frameworks, Jax ence takes place. Tickets went fast, and as the reputa- 9 Learn To Start Your Own Vegetable Seeds Urban Garden tion of this event spreads, so will the demand. Thanks Field Offi ce, Jax to the l05 people involved in the production. Because 9-11 KidzfACTory – “High School Musical” Limelight Theatre, of you, Mattress was a masterpiece. St. Augustine

11 Art Social Community Art Party Karpeles Manuscript Museum, Jax 11-12 Intergalactic Bead & Jewelry Show Morocco Shrine, Jax 12 Library Night-Suns Baseball Baseball Grounds, Jax 12 Anne Mckennon-fl ute, Paul Phillips, Henson Markham Unitarian Universalist Church, Jax 13-17 Creativity Camp The Art Center Cooperative, Jax 14 FCCJ Artist Series “Thomas & Friends Live Performing Arts Center, Jax 15 Summer Cinema “The Notorious Bettie Page” MOCA, Jax 15 Go Figure: Drawing Live Models With Jonathan Lux MOCA, Jax 17-SEPT. 15 Exhibit: Jim Draper – “Produce” Stellers Gallery, Neptune Beach

18 Dog Days of Summer MOSH, Jax 18 Experimental Painting with Instructor Kim Barry MOCA, Jax

28 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper 18 Book Signing-Estelle Shrum “He is the Word” Barnes & Noble/Town Center, Jax 19 Summer Jazz Concert Series Sea Walk Pavilion, Jax Beach romp down 19 Craig Hall – Purcell & Bach Church of the Good Shepherd, Jax 19 Mark Williams-vocals, guitar Unitarian Universalist Church, Jax 22 Go Figure: Drawing Live Models With Jonathan Lux MOCA, Jax 24 Toast to the Animals-Wine Tasting/Auction Florida Theatre, Jax memory lane 25 ZOObilee , Jax Zoo 25 Experimental Painting with Instructor Kim Barry MOCA, Jax Smokey Joe’s Cafe at the Alhambra 26 Andrew Bruck-violin Unitarian Universalist Church, Jax 26 Auditions for the Joyful Singers 12:30pm Unitarian BY DICK KEREKES [email protected] Universalist Church, Jax Jacksonville’s Alhambra Dinner Theatre is ap- could feel my heart 26 Supper With The Spirits Old St. Augustine Village, St. proaching its 40th Anniversary in December. To start beating faster when Augustine off the celebration of this achievement, Director/ Sara shimmied sexily 28-SEPT. 2 City of St. Augustine’s 442nd Birthday Celebration Producer Tod Booth has revived one of Broadway’s in ‘Teach Me How to Various Venues, St. Augustine longest running musical revues, Smokey Joe’s Café. Shimmy.’ 29 Audtions: FCCJ Repertory Dance Company 6pm FCCJ This show by the legendary song-writing duo, Rounding out keeps things interesting with a number of changes South Campus, Jax Jerry Leiber and Mike Stroller, has 40 of the greatest the cast are four young and handsome guys, all of clothing, including formal wear and gowns, and 29 Go Figure: Drawing Live Models With Jonathan Lux MOCA, Jax songs from the 50s and 60s, including ‘Hound Dog,’ making their debuts on this stage. Steve Dorian, some fabulous zoot suits. 30-SEPT. 26 Brad Silverstein Art Exhibition ‘Yakety Yak,’ ‘Poison Ivy,’ ‘Jailhouse Rock’ and ‘Kan- Davon Monroe, Mark Fitzgerald Weekes and Kenneth This is a great trip down memory lane to the JU Alexander Brest Library, Jax sas City.’ It is a high energy show that features eight Wilson have extensive musical backgrounds all over early days of rock and roll. You rarely hear these multi-talented performers. These eight great singers the country and each could very easily perform a songs today, much less see them in live perfor- are possibly the best eight singers ever on stage at solo show that would knock you off your feet. mance. The few oldie radio stations that still exist SEPTEMBER one time in the long history of the Alhambra, and Each of the performers move in and out, doing consider music from the l980s “oldies.” (Route 66 1 Experimental Painting with Instructor Kim Barry MOCA, Jax that is saying a lot. solos, duets, and matching up for some wonderful on WJCT on Monday nights plays music from the 2 Auditions for the Joyful Singers 12:30pm This musical has been a favorite of Jack- harmony. One of my favorites is probably the least 50s and 60s and is underwritten by EU.) If you like Unitarian Universalist Church, Jax sonville Alhambra audiences and two favorite per- known, the old railroad blues song, ‘Keep on Rollin.’ good talent, you are going to love Smokey Joe’s 5 First Wednesday Art Walk , Jax formers from the previous show are back. Conrad The harmony was wonderful. The ladies each sing a Café, which runs through September 2nd. Call 641- Various Venues/Downtown De’Andrea returns for the third time and, in addition portion of ‘I’m a Woman’ to give you a good picture 1212, or visit alhambradinnertheatre.com for more 5 Go Figure: Drawing Live Models With Jonathan Lux MOCA, Jax to his terrifi c vocals, he is the choreographer. He of their incredible vocal ranges. details. 5-OCT. 7 Steel Magnolia’s Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax establishes incredible rapport with audiences, which The show is done on an open stage, with In addition to their new fl oors in the lobby and 6-23 “Criminal Hearts” , St. Augusitne is probably why he has done nineteen Alhambra tables and chairs added for some numbers. hallway, I am pleased to announce that the Alhambra Limelight Theatre Productions. The setting is a night club, with Matt Ward’s lighting now has new chairs for their patrons. They are ex- 7 First Friday Art Walk Various Venues, St. Augustine Karen McClain is the big momma and has designs setting the moods. Costumer Kurt McCall tremely comfortable and a great addition. 8 Delicious Destinations Benefi t Ponte Vedra Inn & Club, the pipes to live up to her name. When she starts Ponte Vedra singing those high notes in ‘Saved’ and ‘Fools Fall 8 Experimental Painting with Instructor Kim Barry MOCA, Jax in Love,’ just climb aboard and she will take you 13 Café Night , Jax straight to heaven. Ms. McClain provides much of Cummer Museum the comedy as well. 14 Opening Reception: Coherent Structures by Carol Prusa Crystal Williams is a Jacksonville native and MOCA, Jax graduate of Jacksonville University. She is in demand 14 Typewriter – Altered Dance & Music JU, Jax all over the country and we are lucky she comes 14-16 Southern Monster Truck Showdown Clay County back to town occasionally. She has a powerful voice Fairgrounds, Green Cove Springs but can be sexy and sultry. She dazzled us with ‘Don 15 Experimental Painting with Instructor Kim Barry MOCA, Jax Juan’ and ‘Some Cats Know.’ Michelle Berry and Sara Ruzicka came to this 14-JAN. 6 Sculptor: Minoru Ohira Exhibit MOCA, Jax show from the Joey Chancy produced Rocky Hor- 16 Craig Hall – Brahms Church of the Good Shepherd, Jax ror Show in 5 Points. I am not a real fan of country 16 Intermezzo Concerts Main Library, Jax music, but if Ms. Berry ever becomes exclusively 19 Go Figure: Drawing Live Models With Jonathan Lux , Jax one, I will start her fan club. She is a fabulous singer MOCA with great stage presence. Ms. Ruzicka just gradu- 21 Comedian Ron White Stephen C. O’Connell Center, Gainesville ated from the music theatre program of Shenandoah 22 Miracles in the Moonlight Gala Benefi t Hyatt Regency, Jax Conservatory but already has an impressive list of 22 21st Annual Rollin on the River Car Show The Landing, Jax musical credits, and when you see her perform you will think she has years and years of experience. I 26 Go Figure: Drawing Live Models With Jonathan Lux MOCA, Jax 29 River City Showdown-FSU vs. Alabama Jax Stadium, Jax 29 Experimental Painting with Instructor Kim Barry MOCA, Jax

OCTOBER 3 First Wednesday Art Walk Various Venues/Downtown, Jax 4-6 First Coast Classic Dancesport Championship World Golf Village, St. Augustine 4-7 Fall Home & Patio Show Prime Osborn Center, Jax 4-7 Amelia Island Book Festival Various Venues, Amelia Island 4-28 “Frankenstein” Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine 5 First Friday Art Walk Various Venues, St. Augustine 6 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk Seawalk Pavilion, Jax Beach 6 6th Annual Charity Oktoberfest World Golf Village, St. Augustine 12-14 Les DeMerle Amelia Island Jazz Festival Various Venues, Amelia Island

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 29 have winning seasons, fans in this area should also realize that it takes an awful lot of hard work, signing of players, THE and the right group of people, to pump out a winning JOCK season in the National Football League. The by tom weppel Jags were damn lucky in their fi rst fi ve season, to be able to play some great football and get into the playoffs as they did. Obviously, in hitting these lean times, some Random thoughts from a cluttered mind... fans have stayed away from the stadium. They need to come back and sup- Jaguars port this franchise, before they do indeed give seri- The Jaguars are in on full-throttle with Training ous consideration to possibly moving out. Camp, as they prepare for exhibition games, and of And the Jags organization needs to be more course, the regular season in September. Let me ask proactive in reaching out to the various communities you, the reader…if Wayne Weaver sold the Jaguars and become more visible in parts of town where and they were moved to, say, Los Angeles, how they’ve barely made an impact. They need to let would you feel about that? It certainly is a possibil- people know they are HERE, and they want YOU to ity, given the fact the franchise continues to struggle come to THEIR games! to sell their season tickets in this market. It was I say this because I have a feeling of slight rumblings by Shaun Robbins reported Weaver turned down an offer for at least downtown that Los Angeles always looks mighty BEACHWISE: $750 million not even a year ago for the franchise, tasty as a possible home to go play some pro foot- and there’s no question there is a huge void for ball. You never know. The Wipeout. The hot summer sun was not out yet and there was a little chill in the air. Like a child on Christmas morning, I was up and waiting when my uncle pulled up in the driveway at 5 am. We quickly professional football in the Los Angeles market. The loaded my surfboard into his vehicle and headed off to the beach. Jaguars would fi t almost perfectly into that area. Major League Baseball As we walked up the boardwalk and out of the dark, we looked out at the gray ocean and the ever- To me, there are two things working here. On This year, there wasn’t a lot happening around changing sky toward the surf. It felt like something out of a movie, and I swear I could even hear the music. the one side, you have the population of the area, of the trading deadline, which just passed, as opposed No, I really could hear music playing. Was I going crazy? which most are indeed football fans to some degree. to previous seasons. The possible players available We continued to walk up the boardwalk to the beach, and the music grew louder and louder. As we A lot of those people are also college football fans, to trade away weren’t that great, I guess, and also a made it around the turn, we could see a shadowed fi gure standing up on the upper platform playing a bag- and they are 100% used to seeing their team win lot of teams seemed to be pretty content with what pipe. It was one of the most surreal moments that I had ever experienced, and put a great start to the day games, as the Gators, Seminoles, and Bulldogs do they’ve got, thinking they can go after their goals of surf. each and every year. with the current roster. With that said, there are We paddled out into solid 3-to-4-foot surf as the sun broke the horizon. My uncle made it out before But the NFL is not like College Football. Things gonna be some great races in the various Leagues I did, and I could see him keeping an eye on me as I continued to the outside break. The waves seemed to are much different, and it I believe fans are spoiled and Divisions. be so big to me, but I was going to do my best to drop in, no matter how scared I was. I watched as my by their college teams and their winning ways, and The National League will show us the Braves uncle caught a wave and rode it for what seemed like forever. they EXPECT that out of the Jaguars. That has not and Mets in the East, with the Phillies also possible Finally a wave came my way, and I paddled hard for it. It started to wall up over me, but I was deter- been the case, as we have seen. You also have the contenders. The Brewers have the Cubs on their mined to make it. Before I knew what was happening, I was being dumped over the falls and shaken like a franchise itself, which feels like they DESERVE to doorstep in the Central, while the West shows us the rag doll below the surface of the water. I quickly made my way up and pulled my board over to myself. A have all the football fans fl ock to the stadium and Diamondbacks, Dodgers, and Padres all going after little shaken, I paddled back out, apparently showing my sudden fear, because my uncle quickly paddled bow down to the Jaguars simply for BEING in this fi rst place. In the American League, the over to me and gave me some words of encouragement and reassured me that it happens to everyone. city! I believe the Jaguars haven’t done the great- Red Sox are still on top in the East, while the Yan- I half-heartedly went after a few waves before fi nally catching one. That was it; I only needed that est job of connecting with the public in Northeast kees are close behind. The Tigers and Indians are one wave, and I was over my fear that the wipeout before had created. With the biggest smile on my face, I Florida. The Jaguars, as an organization, feels as if gonna get nasty in the Central, while the Angels and paddled back, took my position in the lineup next to my uncle and enjoyed the waves and the wipeouts for they should be endowed by the people of this area Mariners scrap it out in the West. So, I just named the remainder of the day. to support them wholeheartedly, giving everything 14 teams with a shot at the postseason. It will cer- they’ve got to the franchise, as they continue to build tainly make for some interesting action in the next forecasted conditions a reputation and an identity, both locally and around few months. This Friday, Saturday and Sunday we should see some smaller, weak waves that you can enjoy on your the NFL. longboard. Going into the week we will see more of the same with smaller waves, and a slight possibility With all this said, I think its time both sides Tom Weppel talks trash with Greg Larson, Lonnie for some size to them. Either way, it looks like we are not going to have any decent surf this week. We are eased up and gave in and realized what’s going on Marts, Eugene Chung, and Ron Duguay on Sport- well into the hurricane season and we haven’t had a real storm. However, looking at the satellites, the trop- here. While the Gators, ‘Noles, and ‘Dogs continue to sAvengers.com 24/7. ics have a little activity showing, but nothing signifi cant just yet. Keep an eye for this, because I am going to Hawaii for a little bit, which means we are due to get some waves while I am gone. It happens anytime I go surfi ng somewhere else, so keep your eye on it. But don’t take my weekly word for it, call or log onto your local report daily to fi nd out what the present conditions are for your favorite break.

30 august 2-8, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper being close to his teams and that was why they were not performing well? He had his mind on something or someone else? Well this past week he comes out nascar news & notes and says that he and Erin need to separate in busi- ness but not at the hip, because her working for him and “doing him” has hurt her career. BY RICHARD TEAGUE [email protected] Well that’s all for this week and I hope you For the past couple of weeks I have been talk- Gee, that’s three of my drivers in the offi ce pool and enjoyed the race Sunday because there’s another ing about ESPN coming back to NASCAR by broad- a bunch of points for my team, right Mr. Hamm? one this week. Remember, you might want to tape casting a Cup race. I wonder just how it would be af- And I’ll tell you another thing that made my these races, so you’ll have something to watch this ter such a long time? Well, I made it a point to watch Mate in Australia happy as vegemite on toast, and winter. By the way, I used a certain word (or rather the Brickyard race today to fi nd out, and I’ll tell y’all, that was Wardie Burton (as Pete calls him) coming a reference to a word) and so far so good. I haven’t they did an excellent job. The camera coverage was in 14th after starting 40th. Hey, Pete is tickled when heard from NASCAR about any fi nes or writer’s just great and they seemed to capture every aspect he makes the fi eld. I do like Ward, but Mate, ya’ got points deduction, so I might slip it in again from time of the race, which, at this track, is a hard thing to do. to look at the whole picture here, and by that I mean to time because it really explains some of the stuff I’ve never really liked a race from Indianapolis Motor the end of the fi eld and all the guys that were either that is going on these days with NASCAR. Reach Speedway because there is usually a lot of action “off the track” or “out of the race.” There were sev- me at [email protected] if you’d like, and as missed out on for the lack of camera angles. Of all eral, maybe 6 or 8, that should have fi nished ahead always, If it ain’t NASCAR, It ain’t s**t!! the tracks on the NASCAR circuit, Indy is in the top of Burton, but hey that’s racing, ain’t it? three tracks I would never, ever go to for a race, right You know, whoever gets Kyle Busch is go- behind the road course tracks. ing to get a good driver and I hope he goes with a I couldn’t imagine sitting inside of the front good team that can give him the quality car that he stretch watching the cars go by at 180 plus MPH gets now. Here’s a guy with an average starting and (for a few seconds at the most) and then have to fi nishing position of 15th, one win so far and 10 top wait until they came back around. Yeah, sure they tens, and Hendrick dumps him for Junior, go fi gure. got the big TV screens where you can see them, but OK OK, I know it’s Dale Earnhardt Jr. that’s no good at all. Likewise, across from you, the With cars and teams and equipment and all the people don’t have a good view of the whole track, stuff that Ginn bought to make his team the super and that ain’t fun either. At any other race you go to team that it is now, here comes “Super Hero MARK you can see all the action. Even if it’s a mile away MARTIN.” Just look at his retirement years, starting you can still catch what’s going on. ESPN did have with Jack Roush, and how he stayed there until a plenty of cameras and the producer did real good new driver could be found for the #6 car. Then he bringing the race to me, so it was enjoyable. I was goes to Ginn Racing as the “New Beginning” for a bitching about TNT and how they had too much crap struggling team and shares a car with a rookie for on the screen (and fi nally they seemed to get it right half a season only to get a different rookie for the on their last airing), but ESPN started right off fi ne. second half. With Dale Jr. leaving and Mark coming, I I think I am going to enjoy ESPN’s coverage for the guess Teresa thinks she has appeased DEI fans with next fi ve weeks. Hopefully ABC will pick the ball up Martin as Junior’s replacement. I know they said and run when it’s their turn to fi nish out the season. that Mark will drive the Army car, but you know that Now you know, ABC probably had to pay super big could change before the Daytona 500. Mark Martin’s money to bring the Chase to us, since that is when name on the roof of the 8 car? Hmmmm, sounds NASCAR thinks the biggest television audiences will weird. be watching. Just how much more we’ll see when I will say one more thing about Bobby Ginn and the count is done at the end of the broadcast with Ginn Racing and that is I think they blow big time the ratio of commercial time to racing time. I sure and I still feel for Sterling and Joe. Especially Joe, hope they aren’t planning some new special way to after he missed the Allstate 400 with Terry Labonte handle that, like with the ole dumb pic in a pic deal, taking a provincial in Waltrip’s car. That’s enough because that would blow. Don’t get me wrong, ESPN of that and I don’t even want to talk about Robert did miss a thing or two, but that happens anyway. Yates Racing – Paul Newman and the other gang of With more commercials there are more chances of names behind RYR’s. I will say that I’m glad David us seeing a lot of replays. Do It Right ABC, I’ll be got signed for another year, but he may have to get watching! some of his pay in salad dressing or movie tickets. Dang, I almost forgot to say, “I told ya so” Looks like the future of NASCAR is multi-named after Tony Stewart won at Chicago. I said he has teams with lots of cars and lots of equipment and the momentum going for the second half and made tons of money, but didn’t Brian France say awhile this prediction, “I bet ya he wins again real soon, back that they want to attract new owners and teams like maybe next week at the Brickyard.” Can I call it to NASCAR? or can I call it? NO, I’m not going to try that again Y’all remember when Jeremy Mayfi eld talked just yet – oh heck, I will – Stewart will win at Po- bad about Ray “Mister Perfect” Evernham for not cono! There ya go, just so y’all can say I was wrong just once this season. But don’t get your hopes up because he might. How bout that Juan Pablo in sec- ond? That was pretty much expected since he’s won there before. And Jeff Gordon with a third place?

eujacksonville.com | august 2-8, 2007 31 dish. where to eat, drink and be merry. find your new favorite restaurant. look for a new restaurant section and a pull-out dining guide in EU on august 16th. if your business is interested in advertising in our dining guide, please contact us at (904) 730-3003. our food critics eat everywhere, so you can be selective.