12A Thursdayy 15.11.12 Gangnam Style Not another one Not another p P I feel sorry forI feelNadine sorry Suzanne Moore to th eople Can Kickstarter spark acrowdfunding owe revolution intheUK? Homemade cheese Move over AlexMove over James When artistsmakemusic e Pop art r John Crace’s verdict The Hour Shortcuts

Culture meme, the zombie meme, the meme that knows no shame. Can anyonene Quite possibly, it will be danced by grannies at weddings in 2030 – kill Gangnamam the 21st-century equivalent of the Style? conga line; the new macarena. So can anyone kill Gangnam? In days gone by, you would have plonked the Duchess of Cornwall angnam Style (thee vidvideoeeo in front of the camera, and left G that’s taken the – ooh,h, youyoou her to it. But if The Killing can know what it is ) is mmeanteant survive Camilla’s touting of Sarah to be dead. Several times over.ver. Lund’s jumper , you sense Gang- According to Time magazine,zinee, nam could deal with the Duchess Gangnam fi rst died in October, er, prancing around like a horseless when Google’s Eric Schmidt wwasaas rider. Piers Morgan, too. His every snapped jiving to the pop smash.ash. movement drips with cringe, but “Sure Schmidt is a strategic his strong Twitter following genius behind the world’s mostst would at the least give Gangnam important internet company,” another million views. Donald noted Time, “but he also dresseses Trump, George Osborne, and like your dad. So the minute thee Rebekah Brooks are other obvious lanky 57-year-old software candidates. But even then, one engineer busted a move, we fearar senses Gangnam’s Tefl on nature ‘Gangnam Style’ jumped the would carry the song. It is like a shark.” Then came CNN, wh ichh Movers and virus that is immune to antibiot- wrote Gangnam’s obituary a shakers: Piers Morgan, ics: the lamer its company, the Ryan Gosling and fortnight later. “I hereby declare,” cooler it becomes. Camilla, Duchess declared CNN’s Jarrett Bellini, of Cornwall So perhaps we need the oppo- “October 12, 2012, as the day site: someone who, like Gangnam, Gangnam Style died.” remains genuinely popular. But reports of its death were referenced the video, Gangnam popularity of Gangnam Style. Not Someone who, if placed in the greatly exaggerated. Since sprang back to life – Lazarus-like even David Cameron, whose love same room as Gangnam, might Schmidt’s eff ort, Boris Johnson – from the cyber-graveyard for northern indie has ruined The burst the meme mainframe, dis- has laid claim to the video, as where all memes go to die Smiths for a generation of Mancu- rupt the space-time continuum. have the boys of Eton. And (that’s Rebecca Black over by the nians, but whose association with Someone like Ryan Gosling. Oppa Madonna. And Ban Ki-moon. mausoleum; Downfall’s by the Gangnam has only seemed to Gosling Style – the meme to end And, just yesterday , Anish Kapoor . church wall). boost its popularity. For the time all memes. Quite literally, I hope. Every time a posho or politician No one, it seems, can stunt the being, it is the cringe-proof Patrick Kingsley

Public transport According to information began to disappear in the late 19th revealed in the House of Lords century, when Midlands Railway Are third-class last week, train operators can realised it couldn’t compete with propose the introduction of “a its rivals because its trains took carriages set third passenger class” under the a slow, circuit ous route, explains for a comeback? current franchising agreement. Russell Hollowood at the National Labour minister Lord Myners Railway Museum. “So it called was reported to be outraged, its railway ‘The comfortable way suggest ing this meant: “There to travel’,” and scrapped second- t sounds as if it could be the could be a cattle-class carriage at class tickets , eff ectively giving I ideal solution for George the back.” The Department for third-class customers an upgrade. Osborne . The chancellor Transport insists this is mislead- In the 1950s, third class was was recently accused of sitting ing. T he “third class” being talked renamed second class, fi nally in a fi rst-class train carriage, but about would slot between fi rst and becoming “standard” class in only wanting to pay for a standard standard class, it says, similar to the 60s . But one thing hasn’t ticket. He may soon have a nother the “premium economy” off ered changed, he notes: “Most people

option , if three classes of carriage by some airlines or Eurostar. have always travelled third class .”

return to British trains. The three classes of rail ticket Homa Khaleeli Ê Plate envy Face it MasterChef: The Don’t like the new Shorter Professionals Facebook couples makes anything pages? You could cuts you cook look leave Facebook. pitiful. Tip: eat Or your partner. beforehand and It’s a tough call, move on. this one.

2 The Guardian 15.11.12 David Petraeus with Paula Broadwell in Afghanistan in July this year

Homeland security Pass notes Quiz: how well No 3,282 do you know the Cossacks Petraeus aff air?

1. David Petraeus allegedly had Age: Between 600 and 700 years old. As a group. an aff air with Paula Broadwell, Not individually. That would be crazy. They’re the woman who wrote his not giant redwoods. biography. What part of that Appearance: Ukrainian and Russian. sentence is inaccurate? Cossacks! How dare you! a) “Allegedly”. Cossacks! You’re going to tell me about Cossacks. b) “Wrote his biography.” Some- Oh, yes, I see. Sorry, my hearing’s a bit … Anyway, one else wrote it, even though yes, the fi ercest fi ghting force Russia has ever Broadwell’s name is prominently known, the maverick cavalry who helped to on the cover. She did the research. IN NUMBERS thwart Napoleon’s invasion of Russia in 1812, the The undercover research, fnar mysterious loners who carve lives for themselves fnar … Oh, do stop it. 1 in 2,700 in the bleak and unforgiving steppes – and tell the c) “Broadwell” – give me a break, Russian winter to come and have a go, if it thinks UK searches this what kind of phoney name is that it’s hard enough – are in the news. week have included for a mistress? What is this, a the word Twilight Cor! Why? Is Putin planning to invade Poland? Dashiell Hammett screenplay? Or are they just going to have some kind of Broadwell, who then announced bare-knuckle fi ght to entertain the peasants? 2. How did Jon Stewart, who it last month? Or a wolf-killing contest – a lupus-off ? None of interviewed Broadwell earlier this a) Obama has terrible breath. the above. year, sum up her attitude towards b) Joe Biden is a bit of a schmuck. Boo! 600 Cossacks are going to start patrolling the Petraeus? But he’s an amazing dancer! streets of Moscow … a) “He’s great in the sack.” c) The attack on the American On horseback, fi lling the air with the crack of b) “He’s fabulously indiscreet.et. coconsulatensulate in BBenghazi happened their rawhide whips, slashing with their sabres, You should hearr ththee things hhee bbebecausecause the CCIA was holding thrusting with their lances at any members of says about the presidentresident – militia prisoners prisone next door. the populace with rebellion in their hearts . How whoa, baby!” gloriously retro. Actually, they will be helping c) “He’s covered iinn a 6. WhatWhat else did Jill Kelley the police deal with the gobby teenagers, thick coat of awesomesome getget up to in between instances of bad parking and the illegal street sauce.” sendingsen a gazillion vendors of mobiles, crayfi sh and sunglasses that emailsem and working are cluttering the capital’s thoroughfares. 3. How did one theth Tampa social NFW, dude! And they will be doing it on foot or Denver news showw circuit?ci travelling by bus with free passes. accidentally retitlee a) a ) She fl ogged Source: It’s a bit of a comedown from advancing Mother Broadwell’s jewellery j ew for the hitwise.com/uk Russia from the steppes of central Asia to the biography of QVCQVC channel highest peaks of the Caucuses and harrying the Petraeus, All In? underunde the brand name Grande Armée to kicking unsightly seafood carts a) All in Bed Togetherher “Social“Social Climber”. off the streets, isn’t it? I wonder they stand for it. b) All Up in My Snatchtch b) SheSh and her husband Well, they will also get the chance to do a bit c) Yes, I am Totally Shagging Him founded a charity allegedly for of harrying. Mostly, many fear, of the various cancer research and patients, ethnic groups – especially Muslims – who live 4. Which computer game, which but instead allegedly spent in Russia and whose presence is an aff ront to the went on sale this week, features all the money on “parties, nationalistic beliefs of the Cossacks. Petraeus? entertainment, travel and Watch this leather-booted, fur-hatted, scarlet- JASON DECROW/INVISION/AP a) Call of Duty: Black Ops II attorney fees” before going out blazoned-trousered space then. Do. b) Call of Libido: Big Oops III of business. Do say: (Like Napoleon) “Cossacks are the best c) Self-Destruct General: Male c) She worked as a Cher (the early light troops among all that exist. If I had them Cliche IV years) impersonator. in my army, I would go through all the world Hadley Freeman with them.” 5. What insider information did Don’t say: “But for now, could you just ticket that

ORIGINAL PHOTOGRAPH Petraeus possibly pass on to Answers: 1b; 2c; 3b; 4a; 5c; 6b. Skoda? It’s double-parked.”

On the nail Omnieverything No go

You can rent DVDs, Omnishambles (as per David Cameron handbags, books The Thick of It), omniscandals, says he is and now ... posh nail Corbyshambles. Starting to “completely fed polish (at lacquerous. get a bit fed up with this. up” that Abu com). Picturing Soon “Omni” is going to eat Qatada has been congealed lids and itself (omniverously) freed. Bit like losingng grotty brushes. the remote control?l?

15.11.12 The Guardian 3

Suzanne Moore By going on I’m A Celebrity, Nadine Dorries has confi rmed how deluded she is. But I can’t help feeling sorry for her

n the words of the great Chuck Berry: Fact and her bra and to be handing out Temazepam like “Nadine, honey, is that you?” Wolfi ng Smarties. She denied that, but if she had it would I down ostrich anus in the jungle in an fiction turn at least have been useful. She has been economic attempt to bring politics to where the out to be with the truth about her home in South Africa people are? Of course! Nadine Dorries “the and accused of being a “home–wrecker” because suspended member for Mid Bedfordshire” – titter slippery of an aff air with a family friend. Her personal life ye not – has not yet achieved her stated aim of would not be relevant if she did not push her encouraging a discussion about abortion or the creatures Christian beliefs on to us but she does: “I am not nasty Lib Dems while emptying the dunny. in Nadine an MP for any reason other than because God She has instead been buried alive and had a wants me to be.” Her attempts to tamper with load of maggots and cockroaches dropped on World abortion and introduce abstinence into sex edu- her. That’s the punitive nature of I’m a Celeb, a cation stem from this. show whose title could be done under the Trades Far from being the maverick, Dorries’s anti- Description Act. If only George Entwistle did a women, faith-based agenda is familiar to her party. bushtucker trial, the payout would be forgiven. Look at Ann Widdecombe . These kind of Tory Dorries has proved herself bossy, lacking in women hate any suggesti on of women-only short- self-awareness, with an aversion to “posh boys”, lists and jostle with the men for sheer misogyny. cringing every time the random toff – Hugo from Remember “national treasure” Widdecombe once Made in Chelsea – speaks. If Mad Nad wants to suggested that female prisoners should be shack- boil the life out of asparagus, step aside. led while giving birth. These women are then sub- In some ways Dorries has achieved her aim. ject to prejudice themselves, but it’s hard to feel She is on the front pages. But she has bitten off sisterly towards those who have internali sed such more than she can chew and I don’t mean by woman-hating attitudes. gulping down a testicle. While she talks of her When I heavily critici sed Dorries in the past, she “balls of steel”, she looks vulnerable, nervous and wrote of me on her blog: “She appears to exist in a incapable of reading the situation she has chosen fantasy world of her own creation.” I don’t know to put herself in. whether this is the fact or fi ction bit but I can see With petitions to recall her, this looks like the massive projection here. For it is Dorries’s world end of her time as an MP. Many in her own party that is largely self-created, sustained by constant will be relieved. Conservative commentators confl ict, in which she presents herself as battling on wanted her stripped of the whip in 2010 when every front, pursuing dire, faith-based policies, not the MP’s Standards watchdog criticised her evidence-based ones. Her political narcissism – for blog , which was misleading about the amount indeed she is attractive – is the problem, as it blinds of time she spent in her constituency. Dorries her to the way she cannot escape her gender. defended herself infamously: “My blog is 70% Lost in the jungle: While she can attack the posh boys on a class Dorries on I’m A fi ction and 30% fact. It is written as a tool to Celebrity basis, when she was publicly humiliated by enable my constituents to know me betterer and Cameron Camero in the House of Commons (“ I know to reassure the m of my commitment to MMidid tthehe HonourableHon Lady is extremely frustrated” ), Bedfordshire.” And what better way of showinghowing DDorriesorries could only write that this would be your commitment than taking a month offff to gogo “perceived” “ perceiv to be sexist. These lone Tory women to Australia to eat worms? aarere in ddeniale about gender politics. Fact and fi ction turn out to be slipperyy SoSo iinn the jungle Dorries may be chewing creatures in Nadine World, though she hatesates ggonadsonads but she is losing “the battle of the anyone who contradicts her or even disagreesgrees swimsuit” swimsu next to a Pussycat Doll half her age. with her. Other people are a challenge. Shehe TheseThese are the rules by which she has agreed looks at Helen Flanagan, the boobs-on- to pplay, and which she reinforces with every a-stick, screaming child-woman as she dadaft utterance and anti-women policy. looked at a baked spider she was about too It is hard to feel sorry for her. But I do. tear the leg off . What is incredible about TThe idea of the posh boys laughing at her Dorries is her self-belief in the face of turns my stomach as much as the idea of disaster. Taking charge of the boat in the eating a witchety grub. But then the delu- swamp, the boat sunk. sions of Dorries are manifold. She will We already know about her “way” call this a win whatever happens for it is with people. In Tower Block of the end of Nadine the politician and the Commons , another “reality” show, she beginning of Nadine “the personality ”. ITV/REX FEATURES ITV/REX was alleged to have hidden £50 down Be afraid, be very afraid.

This week After being sent some suspect pictures, I have only just realised what Movember is.

PHOTOGRAPHS PHOTOGRAPHS Sorry, but it’s vile. Can we not just argue that healthcare should be funded for all?

15.11.12 The Guardian 5 £6m 12% Amount raised via Kickstarter to NumberNumbe of Kickstarter develop a watch that can wirelessly projectsprojec that don’t connect with a smartphone receive rece a single pledge Hand i £250,000 Amount David Fincher was seeking for his animated fi lm The Goon

Got a bright idea for a fi lm, a comic or even a hi-tech watch? For many, crowdfunding site

ime was, in the olden days, site estimates that around 10% of the products and pop-up restaurants). There that in order to create a fi lms accepted into the Sundance and is a time limit – if the creators don’t T video game, or fund a fi lm Tribeca fi lm festivals this year were reach their goal, money is returned to or album, or make a comic, funded by Kickstarter. the backers. If they do reach their goal, you needed a generous and Until recently, British projects have backers are given rewards – anything deep-pocketed patron, or a corporation been hosted on the site, but the funds from an executive producer credit on behind you which thought there was have needed to go through a US bank a fi lm to fi rst copies of a comic. something – profi t, in other words – in account and so they needed a US Launching a project is far from a it for them. There might have even been resident as a co-creator. Two weeks guaranteed success – less than half of a grant from an arts body somewhere. ago, the site launched properly in the the Kickstarter projects reach their Remember them? UK, and in the fi rst week, 171 projects funding goal, and around 12% don’t Crowdfunding, where large numbers were put on the site, raising more receive a single pledge. For those of people donate small sums of money than £500,000. projects that are wildly successful and to a project, has changed that. Kick- A still from “From the beginning, the philosophy far exceed their target, it brings new starter is not the fi rst online funding David Fincher’s and the motivation behind this has problems as creators are left fulfi lling a site for creative projects – ArtistShare animated fi lm been to be a platform for people to far larger number of orders for a product was launched in 2003 to enable musicians The Goon create things and put more art and than they expected. to bypass record labels, and was followed creative work out into the world,” says According to a study of design and by other sites such as IndieGogo – Yancey Strickler, head of community technology projects on Kickstarter by but it has gained the most traction and one of the site’s three co-founders. Ethan Mollick, a professor at the Uni- and attention. “The economy for funding creativity is versity of Pennsylvania, only a quarter Since the site launched in April 2009, one that is driven by profi t and there delivered their rewards on time. The more than 2.5 million people have really isn’t a lot of space for people famous Pebble watch has missed its helped to successfully back more than who want to make art for art’s sake. delivery deadline, and last weekend its 30,000 creative projects. It has helped “Each project is judged solely by its creators admitted it still hadn’t even gone fund Oscar-nominated short fi lms and ‘The own ambitions and not by the ambitions into mass production. Because many of put new products on the market. Earlier of gatekeepers or the broader market. the tech products funded by the site do this year, the creators of a watch that philosophy It’s communities of individuals deciding not exist – the point of the funding is to can wirelessly connect to a smart- behind this what they want to see exist.” create them and bring them to market – phone raised more than $10m (£6m) Projects are chosen, he says, accord- Kickstarter has been criticised for “sell- on the site after being turned down by is to put ing to the rules of the site. “It has to ing” a “hypothetical future product” traditional investors. The singer more art have a fi nite goal. It’s not open-ended, that may never materialise. Amanda Palmer raised $1.2m (£745,000) it’s not funding a career; it’s making a For artists, there is a danger that to record her album and tour; this week, and creative record or a fi lm. There are things we backers expecting a fi nished product can the fi lm director David Fincher reached don’t allow, such as a lot of product- put pressure on the creative process . his goal to fund part of an animated work out type things.” They have to fi t one of the People who funded one musician, Josh fi lm. In October, a role-playing game into the 13 creative categories, which include Dibb from Animal Collective, to go on a developer raised nearly $4m (£2.5m) art, technology, dance, fi lm, music and trip to Mali in 2009 have complained from more than 73,000 backers. The world’ food (the site has helped fund new food they have not received their side of the

6 The Guardian 15.11.12 2.5m Number of people since 2009 who have funded successful it overKickstarter projects ! Proportion of fi lms accepted into the Sundance and Tribeca fi lm festivals this year 10% that were funded by Kickstarter

Kickstarter could be the answer – and now it’s coming to the UK. Emine Saner reports deal – photographs and a CD of music The RoboCop statue There was a lot of momentum between inspired by the trip; Dibb has said he the Facebook page and Kickstarter Brandon Walley, 35 wasn’t happy with the music he wrote. page, and we reached the amount on Community arts developer, Detroit The fl ipside of fans becoming the sixth day of a 45-day campaign.” directly involved in the funding of a In March 2011, they raised more project is that they rightly have an than $67,000 (£41,500) from more interest in where and how the money is The statue of RoboCop that is due to be than 2,700 people. Why does he think spent. Amanda Palmer posted a break- erected in Detroit came about through people donated to this project? “I think down of how the money she raised several of the internet’s giants: it began there are diff erent layers. It hit the would be spent, and some people on Twitter, moved to Facebook, and sweet spot for a lot of people – RoboCop criticised her for the amount allocated ended on Kickstarter. Early last year, the is a cult classic. There’s a really strong to pay off debts ($250,000) and produce mayor of Detroit, Dave Bing, sought passion for it.” In the fi lm, set in the art books for backers. She faced further suggestions on Twitter for how to help The people of near future, Detroit is portrayed as criticism after, having raised more than regenerate the city. Detroit raised a place that has suff ered decay and 10 times what she had asked for in the “Someone responded and said £41,500 to erect decline; in real life, that is also true, fi rst place, she asked local musicians to Detroit needed a RoboCop ststatueatue a 10ft statue though the city is regenerating. “There is play with her band for free on her tour because Philadelphia had a RoRockycky to RoboCopRoboCop a lot happening in Detroit, and I think (she soon agreed to pay them). one,” says Brandon Walleyy of there is a pplacel for the arts – even Creators, and the site, are clearly still the community arts projectct somethingsom as potentially silly feeling their way through the impli- Imagination Station. “Thee as a RoboCop statue.” cations of crowdfunding (in September, mayor thanked them for ttheirheir HeH admits some people in the for instance, Kickstarter introduced comment and said there werewere no citycity were against the idea. “There new guidelines for design and technol- plans to do that, which iss under- waswas concern: ‘Is this important?’ ogy projects to avoid disappointed standable – the city shouldn’tuldn’t invesinvestt or ‘‘WhatW sort of image does it backers . “The internet has created the precious resources into sosomethingmething portray?’portr There was a lot of working opportunity for people to express what like that – but it got someme attention andand talkingtalk to the community to make they want and Kickstarter gives them and started to go a little vviraliral online. sure eveeverythingr went down as well as the tool to follow it through,” says A friend put up a Facebookook page wiwithth possible.possible. It took a lot of conversation Strickler. “When I’m supporting some the title ‘Detroit needs a RoboCop and dialoguedialo between diff erent views. band [through the site] I love, I’m not statue’, and within 24 hhoursours it hhadad They mightmi still think it’s silly but they ‘shopping’ in the record store, I’m a few thousand fans.” realise itit’s not some bad thing where creating alongside them. I get to see the Walley, who had workedrked on a RoboCopRoboCo is oppressing the people, or thing happen and be part of the process number of community artsarts projects,projects, somethingsometh like that.” and know that I made a contribution. some of them crowdfunded,nded, agreedagreed It wwasn’ta the only challenge. “We I think the emotional resonance that and the non-profi t arts ororganisationganisation hhee naivelynaively thought that we would just get comes with that is huge.” works for “thought maybebe tthishis was crazy some foundryfo to knock it out quickly”, Here are some of the projects that enough to work. We workedorked out it says Walley,W but instead he had to deal reached their funding goals. How was would cost around $50,000000 to build a with iinsurance,n fi nd a suitable site it for them? statue between seven andnd 10-feet10-feet ttall.all. and navigatena copyright issues →

15.11.12 The Guardian 7 BRIGHT IDEAS

Some of the new order for the paper, and a little bit of British projects on the manufacturing fee. If we reached Kickstarter seeking that, we thought at least we could funding: aff ord to do this project without losing any money.” Picade A self-assembly kit to They launched their Kickstarter turn your Raspberry page in August, one of the handful of Pi into an arcade UK-based projects on the site back game – the fi rst UK then, with a target of raising $4,000 project to (£2,500); by September, they had be approved. raised nearly $18,000 (£11,000). Backers donated between $3 (they Project Memory Artist Graham receive a PDF of their bracelet design Johnson will draw to print and cut out themselves) to your memories $165, for which they will receive three on to canvas. of each of the four fi nished necklaces. Chen estimates he will be sending out Juliet and around 1,000 necklaces to his backers. the Shrink Of the money they raise, Kickstarter Six-part comedy takes 5% (Amazon, which processes series set in a telesales offi ce in the payments, takes another cut). Is Brighton. this fair? Chen thinks it is. “If we were with MGM. The studio put him in selling through a retailer, they would ← touch with Fred Barton, who al- Paper jewellery Good and Proper tea take a much bigger cut,” he says. He ready makes licensed lifesize RoboCop Hanhsi Chen, 28 Emilie Holmes wants thinks they should be able to make statues, which will be enlarged by an- Product designer, London to set up a mobile tea around 2,000 necklaces, which they van (a converted other company using 3D scans, before plan to sell for around £15 each. Then 1974 Citroën van) the 10ft statue is eventually created by serving quality and they will start thinking about their a Detroit-based foundry. Hanhsi Chen and his business partner, unusual tea. next project. Will they use Kickstarter It should be ready early next year, Yookyung Shin, met as students on the to fund it? “Probably. I think it’s a good says Walley. “We’re pretty much sure Royal College of Art’s product design The Fitzroy platform for new designers.” where it will be [sited], but we’re not course and set up their company, Comedy feature fi lm announcing it yet because something LogicalArt . Their fi rst project together, set on a beached could fall through and we’re still creating memory sticks made from submarine in a The digital comic post-apocalyptic explor ing avenues until the statue stainless steel and Perspex, was a small 1950s Margate. Janine Naimoli Frederick, 33 is done.” one but they learned a lot – mainly Comic writer, New Jersey Without crowdfunding, Walley says how long it took to fund, develop and this project wouldn’t have happened. produce and to make back the money “This is the sort of thing where people they had put into it. Later this month, the fi rst of Janine can put in $5 or $100. I don’t see a “We wanted this to be quicker,” says Naimoli Frederick’s nine-part comic corporation investing in something like Chen. He is alone in his studio – the series Quandary will be released. It’s this, and there’s no way the city govern- living room of a block of fl ats in west set in New York in 2032, under a police ment should spend money on it.” London – because Shin is in South state, and Frederick says it’s a little bit Does he think there is an issue with Korea, visiting manufacturers. Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, a little people from around the world helping They came up with the idea of creat- bit Occupy movement. “There is one to make local decisions? “I feel that, ing sculptural jewellery, made from Clockwise from event that takes place at the beginning ultimately, the responsibility behind elaborate patterns cut from paper top left: Logical and it leads to other events that change anything dealing with ethics rests known as Air Tattoos. “Originally, we Art’s Air Tattoo the status quo,” she says on the phone. mainly with the creators of the project. wanted the material to be leather or paper jewellery; “I was reluctant [to use Kickstarter] Internationally, it was an opportunity to silicone, and in the end we came across Incident in New at fi rst because I hate asking people for show that Detroit is a great place to live a special paper and it’s quite strong and Baghgdad; a money,” she says. “I wanted to save up with tons of creativity and potential – waterproof.” Shin drew the patterns frame from the cash, do it myself, but I got to the unfortunately, these facts often get lost and they made up samples. “We Quandary point where if I kept going at the rate with the majority of press about Detroit showed friends and other designers to exploiting the negative. Locally, we had get some feedback, and people really to express that our intent is not to make liked it, but we had cashfl ow problems.” fun of Detroit, and that we see the Kickstarter was mentioned by friends RoboCop statue as a positive that can, who had “bought” products from the in a small way, help with the rebuilding site – often people who pledge money and re-imaging of the city. That doesn’t for a particular project receive a mean everyone will agree, but that’s OK fi nished article, whether it’s a product as long as we express our intentions that or a book or a DVD. this isn’t some ironic hipster statement.” What helped, says Chen, is seeing Will it bring people to the city? “the market response before you even “There’s a lot of interest from Peter make the pieces, which helps with Weller, who played RoboCop. There are decisions such as: ‘Should I make backers from all around the world, and 2,000 or 400?’ At that time, we calcu- people want to come to Detroit when lated the cost of the tooling for four it’s up to see it.” necklace designs, and the minimum

8 The Guardian 15.11.12 Westminster enough on the project today? Do I need to take a day off as a vacation day to digested work on it?’ It’s that pressure that keeps me going.” By John Crace

T h e fi lm about Iraq James Spione, 51 Film-maker, New York

Last year, Incident in New Baghdad , Clegg: Please can I have a word, Daddy? the documentary James Spione made Cameron: Shut up. I’m on the phone. featuring the account of Ethan McCord, Clegg: But I want to talk to you about my a soldier on the scene of the 2007 idea about extending paternity leave. I was going, I would never be able to airstrike that would become one of the Cameron: Why on earth would I want aff ord to do it because every time I most controversial of the Iraq war, to spend a minute longer with you than had the money something would was already gaining recognition on the strictly necessary, Cleggster? happen – my car would break, my festival circuit, winning best short Clegg: I know you don’t really mean that! house would break.” documentary at the Tribeca fi lm festival, Cameron: Hello? Hello? Useless bloody Frederick launched her funding but the independent fi lm-maker had phone. I’ve been stuck on hold for ages. page in June, seeking $2,500 (£1,500); his eye on a bigger prize – an Academy Ah, there you are! I’d like to vote for when it closed in August, 140 backers Award nomination. “For that I needed Nadine Dorries in the bushtucker trial. had pledged more than $3,000. to do a theatrical screening run either Osborne: Top stuff , Cams! I’ve already “Probably a third of them came in in New York or LA,” he says, over voted for the oikette seven times. I’ve just via the Kickstarter site. Another Skype, “and I needed a budget got my phone on permanent redial! third came from people I know person- for that.” Cameron: That explains why the gov- ally. The other third came from a Spione worked out it would cost ernor of the Bank of England called me grassroots eff ort to raise awareness – around $8,000 (£5,000). “I set three instead. He’s now worried we are head- Facebook, Twitter, podcast interviews, weeks to achieve the goal, but I ended ing for a triple-dip recession. local events, talking to people every- up hitting it within a day and a half. Osborne: Is that a good or bad thing? where I went. If I was in the grocery It was kind of amazing and, actually, Cameron: Don’t ask me. I thought you’d store, I would get into conversation my biggest funder was in the UK. know. But he did wonder what you with anybody. The awareness it created Everything used to feel very linear, were planning to do about fuel duty. alone has been huge, which is awe- [but with crowdfunding] your audience Osborne: I’m going to do absolutely some. It makes me believe that I have almost feels like your co-makers. They nothing because the Labour proles are something people are interested in are invested in it – not just in terms of calling on me to do something. Then, and when it does launch, people will money, but in commitment to what whwhenen enough time has passed for it not be excited.” you’re doing in the way an ordinary fan to look as iiff I amm responding to Labour’s Kickstarter has successfully funded used to be. So now you’ve got a couple demands,demam nds, I’mI’m going to do something. nearly 800 comics projects, and earlier of hundred PR and marketing people Cameron:Cameron: AnyAn idea what? this year, the US trade publication out there who, when that fi lm is done, Osborne:Osborne: DelayDel it a few weeks, perhaps? Publishers Weekly put the site fourth are going to have a personal connection Cameron:Cameron: WhatWh diff erence will that make? behind Marvel, DC and Image in a and help spread the word. Its value Osborne:Osborne: BuggerBu all, except it will ranking of graphic novel publishers. goes beyond the money.” makemake it looklook as if we care about old and One author and illustrator, Rich Burlew, Spione’s 22-minute documentary poor peoplepeople at Christmas. raised more than $1.2m (£745,000) examines what happened in 2007 Cameron:Cameron: “Let them eat stag’s liver” … through Kickstarter to reprint a book when a number of people, mainly Osborne:Osborne: More than you did, you big, from his Order of the Stick series. civilians including two Reuters fatfat wuss.wuss Frederick has been writing comics employees, were killed and two children Cameron:Cameron Less of the big and fat … for three years in her spare time from were wounded, in a US helicopter air- Osborne:Osborne I saw the photos of you at her day job as a web developer for a strike. It received an Oscar nomination thethe MansionMa House dinner. university. “I knew I was unknown in at this year’s Academy Awards, and Cameron:Came That was just an the comic industry but I thought if although it didn’t win, this was enough unfortunateunfo angle … I could market it properly and had a to focus more attention on the fi lm and Everyone:Eve As was your suggestion good enough idea, I could probably the incident. thattha the bankers were all bloody make it work. Even though it was Could he have achieved that nomi- goodgo chaps … funded to be a digital-only comic, there nation without crowdfunding? “It Cameron:Ca Be quiet. The important are still costs associated.” Although would have been harder,” he says. electionel results are coming through. she is writing the series, she is paying “I would have had to borrow money. Hague:H I’m afraid we’ve already artists to draw it; then there are ISBN This was also a very short turnaround. writtenw off Corby, my liege. And it numbers to pay for and digital Raising money through conventional lookslo as if only 63 people in the distribution. sources can take a lot of time and I had countryco have voted for the police Does Frederick fi nd her creativity is a couple of weeks. I decided in August commissioners.c stifl ed, knowing there are 140 people that I was going to do this, and I knew Cameron:C No, no, no. The big one. out there who pledged money and are it had to play sometime in September, Yes!Ye We’ve won by a landslide. Dorries waiting for their fi rst issue? She insists it so it had to happen quickly. Without getsg to eat cockroach. isn’t. “I actually appreciate the pressure Kickstarter, I might have thought it Everyone:E Another stunning victory and it keeps me on my toes: ‘Did I do would be too daunting.” forf democracy.

15.11.12 The Guardian 9 Theatres London

Adelphi Theatre 0844 579 0094 Ambassadors 08448 112 334 New London Theatre LYRIC THEATRE 0844 412 4661 NOW PREVIEWING STOMP 020 7452 3000 / 0844 412 4654 THRILLER – LIVE! THE BODYGUARD Mon, Thu-Sat 8pm WAR HORSE Tue-Fri7.30, Sat 4&8, Sun 3.30&7.30 St Martin's 08444 991515 Wyndham’s Theatre 0844 4825120 Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm Thu, Sat & Sun 3pm, Sun 6pm Warhorseonstage.com Flyingmusicboxoffice.com 60th year of Agatha Christie's www.thebodyguardmusical.com DREAMBOATS APOLLO THEATRE 0844 412 4658 NOVELLO 0844 482 5115 QUEEN'S 0844 482 5160 THE MOUSETRAP & PETTICOATS Aldwych Theatre 0844 847 1712 TWELFTH NIGHT 'ABBA-Solutely Fabulous' D.Mail Evenings 7.30 Mats. Tues 3 Sat 4 RICHARD III LES MISERABLES www.the-mousetrap.co.uk TOP HAT In repertoire MAMMA MIA! WINNER! 2012 Olivier "A musical like this comes around Tickets released every day Mon-Sat 7.45, Thurs & Sat 3pm, Audience Award once in a lifetime." Sunday Tel Shakespearewestend.com www.Mamma-Mia.com Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30 Tue-Sat 7.30, Tue,Thu & Sat 2.30 www.LesMis.com www.tophatonstage.com APOLLO VICTORIA 0844 847 1696 PALACE THEATRE 0844 412 4656 WICKED Savoy Theatre 0844 871 7687 WickedTheMusical.co.uk SINGIN' IN THE RAIN Will Young as Emcee Mon-Sat 7.30pm Wed & Sat 2.30pm singinintherain.co.uk Michelle Ryan as Sally Bowles CABARET ARTS THEATRE 020 7836 8463 Piccadilly Theatre 0844 871 3055 A Radio Play by Samuel Beckett Directed by Trevor Nunn VIVA FOREVER! Shaftesbury Theatre 0207 379 5399 Based on the songs of the Spice Girls ALL THAT FALL Book by Jennifer Saunders ROCK OF AGES Cast includes Eileen Aitkins From 27 November | £20-£67.50 THE SMASH HIT MUSICAL And Michael Gambon www.VivaForeverTheMusical.com

St James Theatre 0844 264 2140 CAMBRIDGE 08444124652 PINTER 0844 871 7622 Roald Dahl’s ALAN AYCKBOURN’S DADDY LONG LEGS A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL A new musical MATILDA THE MUSICAL achorusofdisapproval.com Directed by John Caird Tue7Wed-Sat7.30Wed&Sat2.30Sun3 www.stjamestheatre.co.uk www.matildathemusical.com Prince Edward 0844 482 5152 Vaudeville Theatre 0844 412 4663 Criterion Theatre 0844 847 2483 JERSEY BOYS London’s Funniest Comedy Winner Best Musical! Oliviers UNCLE VANYA The 39 Steps Tue-Sat 7.30,Tue&Sat 3pm, Sun 5pm Mon - Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30 Mon-Sat 8pm, Wed 3pm, Sat 4pm

DOMINION 0844 847 1775 WE WILL ROCK YOU by QUEEN & BEN ELTON Mon-Sat 7.30, Mat Sat 2.30 Extra show last Wednesday of every month at 2.30 www.wewillrockyou.co.uk

DRURY LANE 0844 871 8810 SHREK THE MUSICAL

Duchess Theatre 0844 412 4659 OUR BOYS

Garrick 0844 412 4662 LOSERVILLE the Musical Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm

GIELGUD 0844 482 5130 CHARIOTS OF FIRE ***** 'A magnificent triumph' Mail on Sunday Mon-Sat 19:45, Wed & Sat 15:00 chariotsoffireonstage.com

HER MAJESTY'S 0844 412 2707 THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30 www.ThePhantomOfTheOpera.com

London Palladium 0844 412 4655 TOMMY STEELE in THE SPECTACULAR MUSICAL SCROOGE

LYCEUM 0844 871 3000 book online www.thelionking.co.uk Disney Presents THE LION KING Tue-Sat 7.30, Wed, Sat & Sun 2.30 For Group/Education rates call 08448717644 / Disney 02078450949 Entertainment Notes & Queries

ANY ANSWERS?

penguins as well. The value in post- Hawkwind had gradually became “correct” and spread Is it time to feed polar poning their extinction is debatable, only one hit single, throughout the UK, leaving “thou” to but the eff ort seems to keep some in 1972, but are survive only in regional dialects. Why bears with penguins? still going strong. people happy, and they are very cute. didn’t this happen in other European Is there any other The advantage humans have is that we artistically viable countries? It seems to be due to the are able to alter our environment and band who have anxiety of the British middle class, for harness it, so there’s hope for us yet if carried on for so whom being seen to be correct was more Regarding the plight of polar bears we ever pull our fi ngers out. long on so little important than showing friendliness with their ever-diminishing food OllyWinkles chart success? to social inferiors, or aff ection even supply , has anyone thought about When the ice in the Arctic melts, Andrew Lock, towards their own children. Formality London SE4 relocating penguins from south to north? there will be open water. Better became a way of avoiding intimacy and It seems ecologically a sound move. to relocate the polar bears to the Antarctic! the universal “you” enabled people to As I don’t Porthos understand do this in every sentence they spoke. I have heard this question quantum physics, Laurie Smith, Carshalton, Surrey phrased in terms of polar bears does it matter being located to the south pole but I How the middle class that I also don’t believe the fl aw in the plan is the same. believe in it? Questions that Di Cousens, Penguins have not evolved to deal with gave up on ‘thou’ Melbourne, Australia big predators and so would be easy cannot be answered prey. The polar bear population would Send questions and increase as a result of this, but as the answers to penguins failed to sustain their num- Most European languages diff erenti- [email protected] bers there would be a subsequent food ate between the familiar thou/tu and or online at Are there more questions than answers? shortage and crash in bear numbers. formal you/vous. When did English guardian.co.uk/ Rebecca Linton, Leicester stop doing this and why? theguardian/series/ Of course there are more I was told when I was in the notes-and-queries. questions than answers. For Please include name, Antarctic that someone did try It happened because of the rapid address and phone there to be an answer there must, to introduce penguins to the Arctic rise of the world’s fi rst substantial number. de facto, be a question. But that is during the late 19th or early 20th cen- middle class in towns and cities during certainly not true the other way tury. They did not breed successfully the 18th century. Well-off familiesmilies around – for example, what predated because of predation of nests by arctic previously lived in small communitiesmmunities the big bang? Or how does a teaspoon foxes, mink, arctic stoats, wolves and with servants, employees andd shopshop-- always manage to jump back into the predatory birds such as skuas, and died keepers who had often servedd washing up bowl when I am emptying out after a few years. them for generations and werere the water? Penguins are not restricted to the addressed as “thou”. Golightly Antarctic – in fact there are tropical Moving to towns and citiess I would have thought N&Q was penguin species . However, the large required middle-class familieses to convincing proof that most ques- penguins in the Antarctic would make employ servants obtained fromom aagen-gen- tions have more than one answer. a perfectly good meal for a polar bear, cies or by advertisement or recommen-ecommen- Therefore, I would expect there to be if they could catch them. dation whom they didn’t knowow previ-previ- more answers than questions, even Alexandria ously and expected to be addresseddressed as though we know (thanks to Gödel)

REX FEATURES Ninety-nine per cent of species “you”. Nursemaids and governessesrnesses there are some questions for which that have ever existed are now were employed on the same bbasisasis and there is no answer. extinct, and that is usually due to a addressed the children as you,u, at least ThermoStat change in environment. It will happen in their parents’ presence. Feeding time … Yes, and no. So no it is. polar bear

PHOTOGRAPH PHOTOGRAPH to the polar bears one day, and to the The habit of calling everyoneone “you” MrCholmondleyWarner

15.11.12 The Guardian 11 Food

before the top browns. Adding the cheese sauce hot gets round this: the top will bubble and brown in minutes, before the caulifl ower has time to soften any further.

How to make Serves 4 the perfect 1l milk Caulifl ower cheese 1 clove Felicity Cloake ½ onion 1 bay leaf Despite being often touted as a side 75g butter dish, a bubbling bowl of caulifl ower 50g plain fl our cheese makes a fi ne supper in its 1 medium caulifl ower, cut into fl orets own right. Forget the mushy, faintly sulphurous stuff of school dinners: 4 slices white bread, crumbed this is bliss in a dish. 100g Lancashire cheese, grated 75ml double cream The caulifl ower Nutmeg, grated, to taste Most chefs boil the caulifl ower, bechamel with single cream, to “loosen except Simon Hopkinson and Lindsey the sauce”, for a richer fi nish . Not to 25g cheddar, grated Bareham in The Prawn Cocktail Years, be outdone, Slater adds double cream. who steam it whole before dressing it I prefer the thicker double cream. It’s Put the milk in a small pan and poke with cheese sauce. The outside of the not a lot – 4tbsp to a litre of milk, but it the clove into the onion. Add this, a vegetable is still unpleasantly soft by gives a subtle richness. pinch of salt and the bay leaf to the the time the centre is tender. milk and heat gently to a simmer. Where fl orets are concerned, I fi nd The cheese Take off the heat and leave to infuse Nigel Slater’s four-minute boil in his Cheddar is the obvious choice, and for 15 minutes, then remove the book Tender about right: it is important used by Rhodes and Slater. Grigson onion and bay leaf. that they retain a bit of bite if they are goes for parmesan and gruyere, which Melt 50g butter in a medium pan not to collapse into the sauce. is too sweet. Hopkinson and Bareham over a medium-low heat and stir Both Jane Grigson, in her Vegetable choose tasty Lancashire, which works in the fl our. Cook for a couple of Book, and Gary Rhodes in New British best with the creaminess of the sauce. minutes until it turns golden, then stir Classics advocate gently frying the Like Rhodes and Slater, I’m including in the milk, by the ladle . Turn the heat caulifl ower in butter before adding it to a layer of grated cheddar on top and down and simmer for 15–20 minutes the dish, without colouring the fl orets. using Lancashire for the sauce. until thick. It’s infi nitely tastier. Boil the caulifl ower fl orets for four Flavourings and toppings minutes, until just tender, then drain. The sauce Oliver includes anchovies and Rhodes Melt most of the remaining butter Arabella Boxer fl outs convention in her adds English mustard – both are over a medium-high heat and fry Book of English Food by reserving the nice, but too strong for this dish. The the caulifl ower until slightly browned cheese for the top of the dish and using nutmeg Hopkinson and Bareham, and and caramelised. Season and spoon a sauce made with chicken stock and Rhodes use works better. Breadcrumbs into a baking dish. Put the rest of single cream, rather than the classic add a nice crunch. Oliver whizzes up the butter in the pan and fry the milk-based bechamel. It’s silky and his with rosemary, olive oil and bacon , breadcrumbs until crunchy and elegant, but quite meaty in fl avour. THE DEBATE which is nice but not classic. golden. Season. Jane Grigson goes for a mornay Preheat the grill to medium-high. sauce. Jamie Oliver stirs together To share your Cooking Stir the Lancashire cheese into tips, read more of creme fraiche and cheese – it’s too rich Apart from Hopkinson and Bareham, the sauce, then add the cream and Felicity’s techniques and tangy. I miss the slightly bland and join the who simply pour the cheese sauce over nutmeg. Season, then pour over the milkiness of a good bechamel in both. conversation, visit the caulifl ower and serve , everyone caulifl ower. Top with the cheddar, While the Prawn Cocktail Years duo guardian.co.uk/ bakes or grills the dish. Baking has a then the breadcrumbs. Grill until keep it simple, Rhodes fi nishes his food tendency to overcook the caulifl ower golden and bubbling.

12 The Guardian 15.11.12 Dairy tales Once upon a time many people made their own cheese, but is it really worth the eff ort today? Midweek supper Partridge with bacon and red chard By Patrick Kingsley Angela Hartnett THE TEST lessed are the To me, partridge is more fl avoursome cheesemakers,” said and meatier than quail. Ask the butcher ‘B Jesus, according to The how long the birds have been hung – the Life of Brian. I don’t longer, the more gamey they will be. think he meant me though. It is midnight, shards of glass (Serves four) lie smashed in my kitchen sink, while Splash of vegetable oil a litre of contaminated cheese culture 100g butter drips on the fl oor. Cursed are the Natoora cheesemakers, more like. buff alo mozzarella Sprig of thyme I’m trying out make-your-own from Campania Garlic clove, crushed Tangy, milky, just cheese kits and they are supposed to 4 whole partridges, gutted and oven ready salty enough, great be idiot-proof. I have a “starter” pack fl avour: a lovely 300g red chard from The Cheese Making Shop , and a yielding cheese that 100g streaky bacon, chopped mozzarella from The Big Cheese Making Patrick Kingsley making mozzarella has a good bite to it Kit . By the time they arrive, I already 250g, £4.50 Small onion, chopped see myself as a less ubiquitous version I turn to The Big Cheese Making natoora.co.uk Pinch of salt ★★★★★ of Alex James . So much so, that I decide Kit’s mozzarella, which should take ½ tsp peppercorns, crushed to call the woman who is most to blame one hour. I heat the milk (eight pints) , for James’s obsession with cheese, add citric acid, and rennet, to separate Add the vegetable oil to a large frying expert Juliet Harbutt. Homemade the milk into curds (solids) and whey pan with at least two-thirds of the cheese, I ask Harbutt, what’s the vibe? (liquid). The curds look like scrambled butter and heat on medium until it “People used to make their own cheese egg until I squidge them into balls, and starts to foam and turn golden brown. all the time,” she reassures me. “In iso- dip them back into the hot whey. After Add the thyme and garlic. Season the lated areas, it would have been normal some kneading and salting, they begin partridges with salt and pepper inside for someone with a cow to make cheese to look and taste like mozzarella. and out, then remove the breasts from with excess milk. ” Well that’s a relief, Or so I think until I take it proudly Nife is Life buff alo the bone. Place the breasts in the pan, I say. I’m making some myself! into the offi ce the next morning mozzarella from turning and basting for at least fi ve There is a crackle on the line. for G2’s food editor to sample. “It Campania minutes. When they have coloured , put “You’re defi nitely, defi nitely better off tastes vaguely of some sort of cheese Slightly saltier with them in a preheated oven at 200C/gas buying cheese from people who know content,” concedes Susan Smillie. a good fi rm texture, mark 6 for seven minutes. what they’re doing,” says Harbutt. Across the offi ce, mozzarella expert thin skin, milky taste Remove the woody stalks from the and nice chewiness. “But,” she concedes, “it is fun”. Bob Granleese – Mozzarella Bob, I call chard and cut into small pieces. Add the 250g, £4.60 I turn to The Cheese Making Shop’s him – is no fan . He spits it out. “Oh my nifeislife.com remaining butter to another pan with basic kit for soft cheese , with its god,” he says, appalled . “No. It’s as far ★★★★★ bacon and onion and saute for two min- thermometer, sieve, mould, and a from mozzarella as you can get. ” utes. Remove the partridges from the chemical labelled “dickmilch”. Morale low, I turn to the Guardiann oven, check they are done, then rest. “Warm the milk to 30C,” it says. Fine. and Observer’s foodie-in-chief, Jay Add the chard and a splash of water “Add 100ml of the prepared mother Rayner. To begin with, it’s more of thehe to the pan. Saute the vegetables and culture, instructions in the envelope.” same. “Compared to a great mozzarella, ella, bacon for three minutes before serving Nervously, I open the envelope. “The Patrick’s eff ort is of course, a total with the partridge breasts. ripening of the cheese culture will calamity,” he writes. “Then again,” hhee take 20-24 hours,” says a bit of paper. continues, “as a fi rst, homemade eff ort,ort, My heart sinks. It’s already 11pm. I it isn’t bad.” Isn’t bad! Did you hear thehe heat milk to 90C , and am told to add man! “Tease it gently apart and you dod Garolfalo dickmilch after it has cooled . Stupidly, actually get some of the leaf structure mozzarella di I add it too soon. In a panic, I take the inside you are supposed to get. T here is Buff alo glass jar outside in the freezing night a hint of that creaminess and freshness Very creamy and wet, tastes very fresh and air. Twenty minutes later, the milk has we crave. Melted on a pizza it would milky. Works nicely cooled, I put it in the sink . The glass probably pass muster. ” spread on good bread – stressed at the sudden rise in tempera- I top a base with my mozzarella, 125g, £2.25 ture – cracks. You know the rest. artichokes and capers. My guests are ocado.com I abandon this cheese. It may be just happy . “I could live on this,” says one ★★★★★ the thing for those with time and skill; friend. Take that, Mozzarella Bob! I want something that requires even For more information, visit Angela Hartnett is chef patron at Murano restaurant less expertise than the little demanded cheesemakingshop.co.uk/ and and consults at the Whitechapel Gallery and Dining by The Cheese Making Shop. bigcheesemakingkit.com Room, London. Twitter.com/angelahartnett

15.11.12 The Guardian 13

Arts

his evening, a group of Since the 1960s, when Andy Warhol artists will gather at Anish acted as impressario to the Velvet T Kapoor ’s studio in London Underground , and when John Lennon to shoot a parody of Psy’s Pop goes brought Yoko Ono into the heart of monster hit Gangnam the world’s biggest band , artists have Style , in support of Ai Weiwei . This attempted to hijack the mainstream follows Ai’s own version last month, and enter the rough-and-tumble which featured the original video arena of the charts. Thanks to their interspersed with clips of the artist the artist friendships with musicians, a natural and friends doing the dance. The video desire to try their hand at other swept the internet, mainly thanks to Anish Kapoor and Akram Khan are media, and an often shared art-school the comic appeal of the eminent artist background, artists from Dieter Roth clowning around to K-pop; but the going Gangnam Style in support of to Theaster Gates have added gigs Chinese authorities scented subversion Ai Weiwei. Alex Needham on what and records to their oeuvres – with and banned it. Ai’s video was titled varying results. Grass Mud Horse Style, a reference to happens when artists dabble in pop A few have managed hits. In 1982, a Chinese profanity banned on social Laurie Anderson stunned the art networking sites by the government, world, not to mention viewers of Top and at one point he is seen wearing of the Pops, when she reached No 2 handcuff s – presumably a reference in the UK charts with her minimalist , to his detention earlier this year (he is vocoder-laden song O Superman. left) prohibited from leaving the country). Akram Khan ( Damien Hirst reached the same Kapoor’s hope is that his version, and Anish Kapoor; peak 16 years later in rather less co-directed by the choreographer Ai Weiwei’s YouTubeabove) highbrow style, as part of Fat Les, Akram Khan , and featuring dancers, Gangnam hit ( whose Vindaloo was the unoffi cial actors and musicians as well as artists, England football song of 1998. Others will have the same reach. have preferred to take the cult route. It’s not the fi rst time a huge pop Sam Taylor-Wood has made three hit has been reworked to make an elegant electronic covers with Pet artistic and political statement. Shop Boys , including a take on Serge

16 The Guardian 15.11.12 Turner prize winner Martin Creed has released albums as Owada and under his own name

Gainsbourg’s Je t’Aime (Moi Non Plus) and made an album uundernder VeVelvet l Underground twigged when which feature s her faking an orgasm his own name, Love YYouou ththeye came up with the Exploding over tinkling synthesisers. Meanwhile, To, co-produced by NNickick Plastic Pla Inevitable, which featured few people who saw them will ever McCarthy of Franz Ferdinanderdinand tthehe band playing at ear-splitting forget Minty , Leigh Bowery’s musical (an art-school graduate)te) . Last vovolume,l fi lm projections, blinding project, which included artist Cerith month, Creed’s band took sstrobetro lights and a “whip dance” Wyn Evans , and whose shows saw their clipped post-punknk to bbyy artist-poet Gerald Malanga. The Bowery “give birth” to his wife, Nicola the Swn music festivalal ELELP’sP infl uence can be felt in art/pop Bateman, on stage. in Wales; they have collisionscol ever since, from Lady Gaga Even Joseph Beuys, the complex supported the Cribs to KKraftwerk’s performance of all their giant of 20th-century art , made a on the indie circuit, albumsalb at Moma in New York this pop single, the 1982 song Sonne Statt too . “I like working inn sspring.pr Later this month, an art -rock Reagan. Beuys tunelessly barked his diff erent places,” sayss ffestivalest in Cologne, Week-End , will lyrics, which have an anti-nuclear Creed. “That’s why I llikeike ffeatureea visuals by David Shrigley, message, over incongrously chirpy doing the music. I feelel tthehe wwhileh Stephen Malkmus tops the bill, Euro-rock; there is an irresistible art world’s a bit of a ghettohetto coveringcov Can’s album Ege Bamyasi . YouTube clip of him performing it and I don’t want to mmakeake Certainly,C the number of musicians on German TV, wearing his standard work for a little, specialial wwhoh went to art school is vast, from uniform of jeans, a felt hat and fi shing society – I need to go out into MMalcolma McLaren, who saw his vest. It is so far removed from the rest the world, and that’s thethe way to test mamanagement of the Sex Pistols as of Beuys’s practice that many critics out work, or songs .” IItt botbothershers hhimim a ccontinuationo of the situationism treat it as a strange aberration, in much if he feels that his bandnd – a fi ve-pieceve-piece he had imbibed at Central Saint the same way some sneered at Ai’s – get invited to play becauseecause of his Martins,M a to three- quarters of the Gangnam Style. But the chances are art-world fame ratherr ththanan ttheirheir ClClasha , Brian Eno and Jarvis Cocker . that Beuys was trying to make a political music; but Swn was a attendedttended bbyy Pete Pet Townshend was taught by statement that was important to him, “a very music crowd”,”, and his albualbumm Gu Gustavs Metzger , whose theories in the most audience-friendly way he was well-reviewed. of autodestructive a art infl uenced could. “It’s bizarre,” says artist David Occasionally, musicic can combine To Townshend’sw guitar- smashing . Shrigley, who has himself released with art to create somethingmething truly MostM of these bands applied several spoken-word records alongside spectacular – as Warholol anandd ththee ththeire art-school training to their → his mordant drawings . “It makes you realise that Beuys didn’t care that much about the way people perceived him. It has a great sense of fun.” ☜ Some artists make records simply out of a wish to do something On the completely diff erent. Others see it as a music way of expanding their repertoire . In the 11 years since he won the Turner podcast prize (presented, incidentally, by Tame Madonna), Martin Creed has made Impala tell records alongside his sculptures and all about paintings, projects he describes as their “one-off singles, limited-edition, homemade things”. In 1997, he psychedelic released an album under the band masterpiece name Owada. Lonerism. Creed argues that making a record, Plus, the an artwork or even giving an interview legendary are all part of the same creative process. (He asks me for an mp3 of our Jack de interview after we speak, for possible Johnette future use.) “Working on a song is checks in not much diff erent from working on ahead of a sculpture,” he says, “in the sense the London that I want to make something that’s jazz festival exciting, and worth looking at or listening to.” He started making music after art school, after feeling that his sculptures were failures. “When people looked at them they couldn’t see what I’d gone through – they could only see the bit left over at the end. If you’re listening to a piece of music

FELIX CLAY being played, you’re listening it to it being made – the decisions to go up or down, faster or slower – so it’s more guardian.co.uk like a story.” /musicweekly

PHOTOGRAPH: PHOTOGRAPH: This year, Creed took the plunge

15.11.12 The Guardian 17 Arts Joseph Beuys made a pop single in 1982, while Sam Taylor-Wood (below) has recorded with Pet Shop Boys

music, but the process can ← work the other way around, too. Elizabeth Price studied at the Ruskin school of fi ne art, co-founded quintessential 80s indie band Tallulah Gosh and is now nominated for this year’s Turner prize. Artist Sue Tompkins formed the band Life Without Buildings at Glasgow School of Art before leaving in alarm at the prospect of endless pub gigs and printing up T -shirts. Yet the things she learned as the band’s frontwoman have infl uenced her artwork, some of which is poetry and lyrics-based. “I get asked to participate in galleries but also a performance in a pub or a poetry night,” she says. “There’s a mix.” i Perhaps the most powerful reason for an artist to make music is its direct appeal to the emotions, and the body; art – particularly conceptual art – is more cerebral. “When I’m making videos or artworks it’s aspiring to the

condition of music,” says Mark Leckey , can transfer those skills to another? another Turner winner, who has made “It tends to be more successful when records under the names donAteller , it’s part of a considered project,” Jack2Jack and Genital Panic, ranging says Shrigley. “Martin Creed’s stuff from covers of rave classics such as is really great, and consistent with Dominator by Human Resource, to his project as an artist. But Yoko Ono abstract soundscapes recorded on the made one good track – Why Not [on streets of Soho. “So I inevitably end Plastic Ono Band] – and the rest’s up making music. With art, there’s rubbish.” Shrigley used to be in a always an intellectual barrier. Music band, but says he will stick to making has a directness and a physical eff ect. spoken-word records. Making music, Contemporary art comes from a he says, “would smack of some kind of conceptual idea and it can be returned middle-aged vanity and desperation, to a conceptual idea. It can stay in the and I’m keen to avoid that scenario”. realm of language, of text, and there’s This touches on a fi nal, more something about musicus c tthat at superfisupe cial c a reason easo aartists t sts make records escapes that.” Leckeykey sasaysys – to pplungelunge into a more glamorous he listens to two recordscords andand high-octanehigh-octane world than that of – Trip II the Moon bbyy thethe studio and the gallerygall . It may Acen and Roadrunnerner bebe unfairunfair to suggest tthath this was by Jonathan Richmanman whatwhat motivated Hirst to get – before he sets outt involved withwit Fat Les in to create an artwork. k. 19981998 (other(other members , 1998 , “If I could achieve iinn werewere KeitKeithh Allen and Qajar some way what theyey AlexAlex JameJames),s but he achieve to me, thenn certainly gaveg that I’d be very happy.” impression. impression Perhaps Are visual some of thet artists artists jealous of involved involve in today’s musicians? “Oh myy GangnamGangn Style God, yes,” says Francesnces tribute tribu will Shadi Ghadirian, from the series from Shadi Ghadirian, Stark , an LA-based art- havehav similar ist and former membermber motivations.m o of the band Layer CCake.ake. Ultimately, U Even the cubists’ collagesollages however,h their Victoria and Albert Museum of musical instruments,ents, aima is to show www.vam.ac.uk she says, are more i interestingnteresting supportsu for a victoriaandalbertmuseum than truly moving: “W“Whathat fellowfellow artist in the @V_and_A music does is, like, most mainstream ma way #Light Middle East 10,000 times possible, usingu one of RICHARD YOUNG/REX ULRICH BAUMGARTEN/GETTY; Made possible by the Art Fund [more eff ective].” culture’sculture’s mmost potent But does being and endlesslyendles adaptable brilliant at one art weapons: the power

form mean you of pop.pop. PHOTOGRAPH:

18 The Guardian 15.11.12 ‘Death is coming: Arts that’s my catchphrase’ The dark world of Simon Amstell guardian.co.uk/comedy i

My best shot Harry Gruyaert ‘My friend Cartier-Bresson hated using colour – but it helped me to capture the banality of Belgium’

I was living in Paris in 1965. One day, came to see a show of my colour work, prone to spectacular alcoholic excess . while on my way to get some fi lm he suggested sending me two of his This image, taken in the town of developed, I noticed a guy I didn’t prints and a box of pastels so I could THE CV Boom in 1988, shows people waiting recognise in the lift. There was hand-colour them. I refused. “Henri, for the carnival to pass. It’s part of a something special and strangely I’m not a painter,” I said. I suppose he Born: 1941, series I did about my native country : transparent about him. I thought: was just curious . Antwerp, Belgium. I had a complicated relationship with “That must be Henri Cartier- Bresson.” Given our friendship and his Studied: School for Belgium because of my strict Catholic He was known for his ability to complex relationship with colour, I Photo and Cinema, upbringing. It’s hard to work in the photograph people without them am honoured that this image currently Brussels. place you are from: you’re less on the noticing. Later, when I joined the hangs alongside two of his works Infl uences: 1970s lookout for inspiration. But because I no picture agency Magnum , we got – one taken in New York , the other in Italian movies, longer lived there, I was able to work. Matisse, William to know each other well. He was a Tennessee – in a London exhibition I had used colour in Morocco and Eggleston’s 1976 nervous but witty man, never taking devoted to his photography called Moma exhibition. India, places so vibrant they seemed himself too seriously. He didn’t want to A Question of Colour . Top tip: You cannot to demand it. Previously, everything be a hero or play the big guy – he hated His reluctance to use colour learn to be an artist; in Belgium had seemed grey to me. all that. certainly didn’t stop me. Back then, you either are or But when I discovered the beauty of He also hated being a lot of photographers only you’re not. banality, I was able to capture Belgium asked to use colour for an used it when magazines com- in colour. This shot works because of assignment. Maybe he missioned them , meaning the movement of the people, the way would have been more the medium had not really they are hidden by balloons – and, of

HARRY GRUYAERT/MAGNUM HARRY interested if it had been been explored creatively. course, the colour. possible to play with it So, throughout the 1970s the way you can now, but and 80s, I photographed Interview by Sarah Phillips. Cartier-Bresson: A Question of Colour is at Somerset House, back then it was limited countless Belgian festivals London WC2, until 27 January. Details:

PHOTOGRAPH PHOTOGRAPH in scope. Once, w hen he and processions, which were positiveviewfoundation.org.uk

15.11.12 The Guardian 19 Entertainment Television

he BBC’s fl agship current Ben Whishaw, Romola Garai and aff airs programme is in Dominic West in The Hour T diffi culties and its future is in the balance. The give the programme a bit of edge as Hour (BBC 1) is engaged if by magic. Some Newsnight editors in battles of its own, against both the must be hoping for a similarly quick smooth Hector Madden (Dominic reprieve. Mind you, Freddie forgetting West), who thinks he’s getting too big until the end of the fi rst episode to tell for the show, and the climbing ratings his best friend, Bel (Romola Garai), that of an ITV rival. It’s not quite on the he had got married to a French woman scale of an inquest into the competence while he was away is precisely the sort of its journalism, but whoever sched- of journalistic oversight that can start uled the return of The Hour couldn’t a witch-hunt. have asked for better timing. Last night's TV Rather more straightforward in its There’s a small danger, I suppose, intentions, though less successful that the problems of The Hour now The BBC’s fl agship news in execution, was the second part of seem rather more trivial than they Clarissa Di ckson Wright’s Breakfast, might have appeared to Abi Morgan show is in crisis – The Hour Lunch and Dinner (BBC4). Which was when she was writing the script, but a shame, as I’m rather a fan of Dickson I can’t imagine she will be looking a Wright’s take-no-prisoners TV per- gift horse … There again, Newsnight’s has great timing sona. It wasn’t as if there was anything present troubles would almost terribly wrong with this programme certainly be beyond even the skills about the social history of the British of the macchiavellian Randall Brown lunch, it was more that it was just a bit (Peter Capaldi), the head of news dull. This felt like a documentary that sent in to salvage the programme, I had seen many, many times before which would be a shame as Capaldi is in diff erent guises. Who would have worth watching in almost everything guessed that lunch has gone from he appears in, even if he seems to be By John Crace being a full-hour main event of the day in danger of getting type cast as the to a rushed 12 minutes? Who would hatchet man with a heart of steel. It’s still not entirely clear if The Hour have thought that industrialisation and Otherwise, everything is pretty really knows exactly what it wants to the growth of cities would change our much as we left it, only a year further be, as the fi rst episode of the new series relationship to food? Me, for one. on, with Sputnik rather than Suez the fl itted between the private lives of the More unforgivably, it rather felt as main talking point of the news. Even main characters and hints of Soho gang- if Dickson Wright knew that she was down to the slight confusion as to what land. And I still don’t really care, as the pushing her luck with this show, as it’s sort of drama The Hour really wants writing is tight and the performances a rare skill to make an hour feel way to be. Throughout the fi rst series I are so uniformly good that the minor too long to get through 1,000 years was never wholly sure whether I was characters, in particular Anna Chancel- of history. So it was that she dawdled meant to be watching a Mad Men- lor as jaded Lix, Julian Rhind-Tutt as for a good 10 minutes in Simpson’s style 1950s high-class period soap or the never-to-be-trusted McCain and having lunch with AN Wilson and a political thriller, as the story lines Oona Chaplin as Hector’s wife Marnie discussing what the Victorians might seemed to veer alarmingly between (who shows welcome signs of mounting have eaten, before spending much the the two genres with little attempt to a spirited comeback) feel every bit as same amount of time at her old school, AND ANOTHER join them at the seams. Though I didn’t well-drawn as the central trio. THING Woldingham, trying to teach a class- mind nearly as much as many viewers The best news of all is that Freddie room full of girls to cook a postwar,

LAURENCE CENDROWICZ/BBC/KUDOS LAURENCE because I found it all very enjoyable Lyon (Ben Whishaw) has made a rationing lunch. What this programme Why did Fresh Meat anyway and I had no ideological remarkable career recovery. Having have to bring back worked best at was metaphor. If the objection to the BBC playing itself been sacked at the end of the last the geology lecturer? object was to show that lunch has as the left-of-centre hero. Call me series for conducting an unauthorised It was all going become progressively more fi lling and

PHOTOGRAPH PHOTOGRAPH unreconstructed … live interview, he has been recalled to so well ... less satisfying, then it was job done.

15.11.12 The Guardian 21 Film of the day TV and radio Valkyrie (10pm, Channel 5) Despite the starry presence of Tom Cruise, a solid account of the plot by German offi cers to assassinate Hitler in July 1944, with Tom playing ringleader Colonel von Stauff enberg.

BBC1 BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4

6.0pm BBC News (S) 6.0pm Eggheads 6.0pm Local News (S) 6.0pm The Simpsons Weather (R) (S) Weather (S) (AD) 6.30 Regional News 6.30 Strictly Come 6.30 ITV News And 6.30 Hollyoaks (S) Programmes (S) Dancing — It Takes Weather (S) (AD) Will Esther and Weather Two (S) Zoe Ball hosts Bart come clean? the daily fanzine.

7.0 The One Show 7.0 Celebrity 7.0 Emmerdale (S) 7.0 Channel 4 News (S) Presented by Matt Antiques Road Trip (AD) Debbie goes to (S) Baker and Alex Jones. (S) Sheila Hancock see Chas in prison. 7.55 4thought.tv (S) 7.30 EastEnders (S) and Sandi Toksvig go Another discussion of Everyday, Channel 4 (AD) Lucy and Zainab hunting for antiques whether faith is down try to get Syed and on the Isle of Wight. to nature or nurture. Christian to talk. Watch this (Followed by BBC News; Regional News.)

Hunted tinue to round-up members 8.0 Young Apprentice 8.0 MasterChef: 8.0 Coronation Street 8.0 Kirstie’s 9pm, BBC1 of the Hatfi eld clan at the (S) The candidates are The Professionals (S) (AD) Jealous Vintage Home (S) Hunted’s plot has thickened behest of Bill Paxton’s challenged to haggle (S) Six chefs each prankster Steve Kirstie and co craft into an unwieldy stodge, so aff ronted Randall McCoy. for the best prices as prepare a dish of their targets Rob. a 1950s-inspired they’re sent out to buy own invention in the 8.30 I’m A Celebrity family playroom for a full of double-crosses and But grizzled patriarch props for the English quarter-fi nal. Get Me Out Of Here! Blackburn couple. murder that it’s nigh-on William “Devil Anse” Hat- National Opera. (S) More scenes from impossible to wade into fi eld (Kevin Costner) has a life in the jungle. without becoming seriously plan in mind to quell the stuck. In a way, this morass seemingly unstoppable of detail and intrigue is cycle of violence. There’s 9.0 Hunted (S) 9.0 Great Continental 9.0 Everyday (S) welcome; it’s used to dis- little sympathy for the pious (AD) Aidan thinks Railway Journeys (S) Filmed over of guise some rather standard Randall folk when compared Sam needs to revisit (AD) Michael Portillo fi ve years, Michael memories of her searches for traces of Winterbottom’s drama bait-and-switch fare as to the Hatfi elds, who are mother’s murder and pre-fi rst world war explores the impact of the team try to thwart an infi nitely more whiskey- her own kidnapping, a decadence in Vienna as a father being in prison assassination attempt. Still, swilling fun, a rare fl aw of way to learn why the he travels in Hungary on family life. Starring Hourglass conspirators and Austria. Shirley Henderson and as long as they keep all the this otherwise above-par are targeting her. John Simm. plates spinning, give Melissa miniseries. Ben Arnold George a chance to beat some people up and Patrick Impractical Jokers 10.0 BBC News (S) 10.0 Hebburn (S) (AD) 10.0 ITV News At Ten 10.50 999: What’s Malahide some scenery to 9.30pm, BBC3 10.25 Regional News Jack starts work as And Weather (S) Your Emergency? And Weather (S) the new editor of the 10.30 Local News/ (R) (S) Blackpool’s chew then who needs logic? The hidden camera show 10.35 Question Time Hebburn Advertiser. Weather (S) emergency services Phelim O’Neill is given a cruel twist in Im- (S) David Dimbleby 10.30 Newsnight 10.35 Corfu: A Tale deal with incidents practical Jokers, awarded chairs the topical (S) With Kirsty Wark. Of Two Islands (S) involving visitors to debate from Corby. (Followed by Weather.) A barrister considers the town. (Shown Everyday a full run here after a pilot Guests include Chris moving to Corfu. Monday.) 9pm, Channel 4 earlier in the year. Here the Grayling, Nigel Farage An understated Michael stooge thrown out into the and Ian Hislop. Winterbottom drama, general public is forced to illuminating Britain’s prisons perform increasingly embar- 11.35 This Week (S) 11.20 Dara O Briain’s 11.05 The Jonathan 11.50 Random Acts Andrew Neil, Michael Science Club (R) Ross Show (R) (S) (S) Short arts fi lm. system. Winterbottom’s case rassing acts of humiliation Portillo and guests (S) (AD) Marcus With guests Damian 11.55 Embarrassing study is Ian (John Simm), a at the hands of the other discuss politics. Brigstocke grapples Lewis, Katherine Fat Bodies (R) (S) The young man doing a lengthy performers in the show, who with the concept Jenkins, Danny Baker doctors off er advice of dark energy as and Psy. Last in series. to those with medical stretch. Realising that a gleefully order fellow cast Dara and guests (Shown Saturday.) problems associated prison is an oppressively members to do the unspeak- investigate the world with obesity and cloistered arena, Winter- able through an earpiece of theoretical physics. weight loss. (Shown Tuesday.) bottom directs his cameras while watching them squirm towards the lives of Ian’s on a monitor. BA family. Shirley Henderson from the work of Duke Tharaud. 6.30 Composer Of Sage Gateshead. Radio Ellington and Count Basie, to The Week: Big Band. (R) 11.0 Late Junction. Max is terrifi c as Ian’s stoic but Gil Evans’ collaboration with 7.30 Radio 3 Live In Reinhardt presents John Miles Davis. Concert. The BBC Scottish Surman’s Saltash Bells, haunted wife, and the chil- 1.0 Radio 3 Lunchtime Symphony Orchestra the complete Tezeta dren – four real-life siblings Concert. Soprano Ruby performs Karlowicz’s Eternal by Getatchew Kassa, Radio 3 Hughes sings a selection Songs and Prokofi ev’s Fifth Thelonious Monk’s Brilliant – are heartbreaking naturals 90.2-92.4 MHz of “night” songs by Symphony, and Nicola Corners and Ravel played by (Everyday was fi lmed over Schubert and baritone Benedetti joins them for Alexei Lubimov and Alexei 6.30 Breakfast. Sara Roderick Williams performs Szymanowski’s First Violin Zuev. fi ve years to allow the kids Mohr-Pietsch introduces Somervell’s song-cycle A Concerto. 12.30 Through The Night. favourite pieces, notable Shropshire Lad, as well as 10.0 Free Thinking. Philip Including music by Elgar, to age). All compel as they performances and a few Michael Berkeley. Dodd chairs a debate Rachmaninov, Kodaly, wait, with fear and anticipa- surprises. 9.0 Essential 2.0 Afternoon On 3. Katie on Immigration and the Zemlinsky, Chopin, JCF Classics. With Sarah Walker. Derham presents Rossini’s Challenge to Belonging at Bach, Tchaikovsky, Salieri, tion, for the doors to open. Including the Essential CD: comic opera Il Signor the Radio 3 Free Thinking Bax, Biber, Schumann, Kainz, Five Italian Oboe Concertos Bruschino, with soprano Festival, with David Schubert, Milhaud, Brahms, Andrew Mueller played by Nicholas Daniel, Maria Aleida and tenor David Goodhart, Alp Mehmet and Bach and J Strauss (son). performances by pianist Alegret. Plus ballet music by Sunder Katwala. Hatfi elds & McCoys Noriko Ogawa, and this Elgar and Vaughan Williams’ 10.45 The Free Thinking Radio 4 week’s guest, author Anne Fourth Symphony. Essay: New Generation 92.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz 9pm, Channel 5 Fine. 4.30 In Tune. Sean Raff erty Thinkers. Sue-Ann Harding, 12.0 Composer Of The Week: talks to countertenor one of Radio 3’s New 6.0 (FM) Today. 8.31 (LW) More tit-for-tat murder: Big Band. Donald Macleod Andreas Scholl and opera Generation Thinkers, gives Yesterday In Parliament. and Guy Barker explore director Calixto Bieito, and a talk on the diff erence bounty hunter “Bad” Frank Hunted, BBC1 8.59 (LW) Test Match developments in the big presents a live performance between expats and Special. India v England. 9.0 Phillips and his posse con- band sound of the 1950s, by pianist Alexandre immigrants, recorded at the

22 The Guardian 15.11.12 Full TV listings For comprehensive programme details see the Guardian Guide every Saturday or go to tvlistings.guardian.co.uk/

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6.0pm Home And 6.20pm Come Dine 6.0pm House (R) A E4 News and gossip from the Away (R) (S) (AD) With Me (R) (S) The patient suff ers from 6.0pm The Big Bang Theory. camp. 11.0 Totally Bonkers Sheldon gets a job at a Guinness World Records. Romeo wants to speed dinner party challenge recurring strokes. diner. 6.30 The Big Bang Incredible and peculiar up his recovery. fetches up in Cardiff . Theory. Leonard is invited record-breaking attempts. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 to visit the Large Hadron 11.30 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. (S) Collider. 7.0 Hollyoaks. Comedy thriller, starring Two bitter enemies put Robert Downey Jr and Val aside their diff erences for Kilmer. a loved one’s sake. 7.30 7.0 Rolf’s Animal 7.0pm Top Gear (R) 7.0pm World News 7.30 Hugh’s 3 Good 7.0 House (R) A How I Met Your Mother. Sky1 Clinic (R) (S) Vet Sam (S) The presenters Today (S) Weather Things (S) Hugh former girlfriend asks Ted unwittingly sends 6.0pm Raising Hope. Bescoby treats a horse build their own 7.30 Top Of The Pops: Fearnley-Whittingstall the medic to treat her romantic text messages Virginia comes up with an that has a growth in motorhomes for a bank 1977 (R) (S) Featuring prepares seared sick husband. to Barney. 8.0 The Big idea to earn some quick one of its hooves. holiday jaunt to the David Bowie, Tina venison with lemons Bang Theory. New series. cash. 6.30 The Simpsons. Howard gets caught in a Same-sex marriage is (Shown Tuesday; West Country. Charles, Queen, Status and capers, and hot strange argument. 8.30 legalised in Springfi eld. 7.0 followed by 5 News Quo, David Soul and dogs with fried pears. 2 Broke Girls. New series. The Simpsons. Homer takes Update.) Roxy Music. Max believes she has Ned Flanders to Las Vegas. found a way to get rich. 7.30 The Simpsons. Lisa 9.0 Rude Tube: All Things falls in with a bad crowd. Weird And Wonderful. 8.0 The Middle. The Hecks Internet videos, including panic when hapless Sue two camels in a car. 10.0 receives her learner driver’s 8.0 WW1’s Tunnels 8.0 The Premier 8.0 Shock And 8.0 Grand Designs 8.0 Urban Secrets End Of Days. Supernatural licence. 8.30 Modern Of Death: The Big Dig League’s Most Awe: The Story Of (R) (S) (AD) Kevin (R) (S) Alan Cumming thriller, starring Arnold Family. The friends have (S) Part two of two. Amazing Moments Electricity (R) (S) McCloud meets a visits Bristol’s fi rst Schwarzenegger. fun as they pitch in for a Johan Vandewalle (S) Including David How fi nding a link Herefordshire couple speakeasy as he charity yard sale. 9.0 Spy. Film4 Tim and Caitlin appear in and his crew explore Beckham scoring from between electricity who don’t take much explores the history of 7.05pm Volcano. Disaster a recruitment video. 9.30 fi rst world war-era the half-way line. and magnetism led heed of deadlines as the city. thriller, starring Tommy Trollied. Gavin struggles to bunkers and tunnels in to technological they build a family Lee Jones. 9.0 Brassed fi nd Lorraine’s replacement. Flanders. (Followed by breakthroughs. Jim Al- home using recycled Off . Drama, starring Pete 10.0 A League Of Their Postlethwaite and Tara Own. With Johnny Vegas, 5 News At 9.) Khalili hosts. and local materials. Fitzgerald. 11.10 Weekend. Charlotte Jackson and Harry Premiere. Romantic drama, Redknapp. 11.0 Road Wars. with Tom Cullen and Chris Conrad and Simon tackle a New. mugger. 12.0 Road Wars. 9.0 Hatfi elds & 9.0 Russell Howard’s 9.0 The Year The 9.0 Scandal (S) (AD) 9.0 Richard E Grant’s Police offi cers combat McCoys (S) Anse Good News (S) Topical Town Hall Shrank The team helps out a Hotel Secrets (S) The FX vehicle crime. thinks the only way to comedy series. (S) Local offi cials dictator who says his actor chows down on 6.0pm Leverage. The team members pose as wedding Sky Arts 1 end the feud is to kill 9.30 Impractical chase £20 million in wife and children have a $5,000 burger at the planners. 7.0 NCIS. A robber 6.0pm All You Need Is Love. Randall. Continuing Jokers (S) New unpaid council tax. A been abducted. Mandalay Bay hotel in is shot dead. 8.0 NCIS. The story of ragtime music. the western drama, hidden camera vicar tries to prevent Las Vegas. The team investigates the 7.0 Big Ideas For A Small starring Kevin Costner series where the a Victorian swimming murder of a petty offi cer. Planet. A furniture company 9.0 Family Guy. Peter aiming to make 100 per and Bill Paxton. show’s hosts set each pool from closing. Last suff ers kidney failure cent sustainable products. other embarrassing in the series. after drinking kerosene. 7.30 Dead Art. Dee Snider challenges. 9.30 American Dad! Roger visits Forest Hills Cemetery celebrates his birthday. in Boston, Massachusetts. 10.0 The Cleveland 8.0 Mariella’s Book Show. 10.0 Valkyrie (Bryan 10.0 Superstorm 10.0 The First Master 10.0 Southland (S) 10.0 Falcon New Show. Cleveland asks his With guests Roger Moore, Singer, 2008) (S) USA: Caught On Chef: Michel Roux (AD) New series of the series based on the stepdaughter to the school Michael Chabon and Jung dance. 10.30 Family Guy. Chang. 9.0 Playhouse Thriller following the Camera (S) How On Escoffi er (R) (S) imported cop drama. best-selling novels Stewie auditions in drag for Presents: The Man. Drama, 1944 plot by rebel people took to social Michel Roux Jr profi les John Cooper teams up by Robert Wilson. a TV show. 11.0 The Booth starring Hayley Atwell, German offi cers to media to record and Georges Auguste with a new partner. Detective Javier Falcón At The End. The patrons Zoe Wanamaker and assassinate Hitler. A share the eff ects of Escoffi er, a chef who 10.55 Embarrassing investigates when a draw closer to the end of Stephen Fry. 9.30 Onion their tasks. 11.30 Family News Network. Emotional strong cast includes Storm Sandy hitting revolutionised French Bodies (R) (S) Dentist Seville restaurateur Guy. Chris runs away to reporter O’Brady Shaw Tom Cruise, Kenneth New York in October. cuisine and the way Dr James treats the is bound, gagged and South America. 12.0 Family promotes his new show. Branagh and Bill Nighy. top kitchens were run. worst tooth decay he’s tortured to death. Part Guy. Peter gets stranded on 10.0 Johnny Cash: The ever seen.. one of two. a desert island. Anthology. Profi le of the country singer. 11.0 Johnny ITV2 Cash Live At Montreux. 11.0 EastEnders (R) 11.0 Heath V Wilson: 11.0 Don’t Sit In The 6.30pm You’ve Been The singer’s performance Framed! Harry Hill narrates at the 1994 Jazz Festival. (S) (AD) Lucy and The 10-Year Duel (R) Front Row (R) (S) camcorder calamities. 7.0 12.0 Mariella’s Book Show. Zainab try to get Syed (S) Tracing the rivalry With Frank Skinner, You’ve Been Framed! Harry With guests Roger Moore, and Christian to talk. between ex-prime Andrew Maxwell Hill narrates camcorder Michael Chabon and Jung 11.30 Family Guy (R) ministers Harold and Susan Calman. calamities. 7.30 You’ve Chang. Been Framed! Harry (S) Quagmire loses his Wilson and Edward Presented by Jack Dee. Hill narrates camcorder TCM job as a pilot. Heath in the 1960s 11.30 BrandX With calamities. 8.0 The X Factor 9.0pm Passenger 57. Action 11.55 Family Guy (R) and 70s. Russell Brand (R) USA. The contestants battle thriller, with Wesley Snipes. (S) Stewie has a bad Topical comedy show. it out during the second live 10.35 My Cousin Vinny. experience on a sun bed. show. 10.0 I’m A Celebrity Courtroom comedy, starring Get Me Out Of Here Now! Joe Pesci.

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15.11.12 The Guardian 23 On the web Puzzles For tips and all manner of crossword debates go to guardian.co.uk/crosswords

Quick crossword no 13,267 Sudoku no 2,345

Across 1234 5 South Africa’s former 5 social policy — hit 47 parade (anag) (9) 67 8 Skating jump involving 92 a mid-air turn (4) 89 9 Mediterranean plant with spikes of blue, 95 7 pink or white fl owers (8) 10 11 12 10 Dense and overgrown 48 (6) 11 Make certain (that) (6) 13 14 15 13 Too (2,4) 763 15 Slake (6) 16 Flat Italian bread (8) 26 18 Microscopic (4) 16 17 18

19 Rogue (with a shooter . for a father?) (3,2,1,3) 954 Down 19 65

1 End-of-play speech (8) 0330 333 6846 2 Umbrella (6)

3 Move quickly and 28 or call violently (6) 17 River fl owing through Solution no 13,266 4 Toothed fasteners (4) Bristol to the Severn TSSG Hard. Fill the grid so that each row, column and Solution to no 2,344 6 Trip (9) (4) FLOATINGRIB 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable ASOAAO version at guardian.co.uk/sudoku 375692481 7 Force 12 on the 496815372 Beaufort Scale (9) PLUS PARADIGM Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0039 or text SPLIS 182437659 12 Crumpets (anag) (8) GUARDIANQ followed by a space, the day and MEAS L ES YEATS guardianbooks.co.uk date the crossword appeared another space and 761984235 14 Person reading lessons BERWNA Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0036. Calls cost 77p a the CLUE reference to 85010 (e.g GUARDIANQ VO I LA WANT I NG 924563817 in church (6) Wednesday24 Down20). Calls cost 77p a minute minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks TFOL D may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. 538271946 15 Massive, extremely may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. ATYP I CAL ESAU Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for 819356724 OITABR distant celestial object Texts cost 50p a clue plus standard network customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from 647128593 charges. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 MOTHE R BOARD a BT landline). Free tough puzzles at www.puzzler. (6) 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate, YTYY 253749168 2p a min from a BT landline). com/guardian . Buy all four Guardian quick crosswords books for only £20 inc UK p&p (save £7.96). Visit . Buy all four Guardian quick crosswords books for only £20 inc UK p&p (save Doonesbury Doonesbury Garry Trudeau guardian.co.uk/crossword

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