y Thursday 15.11.12 Thursday Power to the people Can Kickstarter spark a crowdfunding revolution in the UK? Gangnam Style Suzanne Moore Homemade cheese Pop art The Hour Not another one I feel sorry for Nadine Move over Alex James When artists make music John Crace’s verdict 12A Shortcuts Culture meme, the zombie meme, the meme that knows no shame. Can anyonene Quite possibly, it will be danced by grannies at weddings in 2030 – kill Gangnamam the 21st-century equivalent of the Style? conga line; the new macarena. So can anyone kill Gangnam? In days gone by, you would have plonked the Duchess of Cornwall angnam Style (thee videovideeo in front of the camera, and left G that’s taken the – ooh,h, yyouoou her to it. But if The Killing can know what it is ) is mmeanteant survive Camilla’s touting of Sarah to be dead. Several times over.ver. Lund’s jumper , you sense Gang- According to Time magazine,zinee, nam could deal with the Duchess Gangnam fi rst died in October,er, prancing around like a horseless when Google’s Eric Schmidt wwasaas rider. Piers Morgan, too. His every snapped jiving to the pop smash.ash. movement drips with cringe, but “Sure Schmidt is a strategic his strong Twitter following genius behind the world’s mostst would at the least give Gangnam important internet company,” another million views. Donald noted Time , “but he also dresseses Trump, George Osborne, and like your dad. So the minute thee Rebekah Brooks are other obvious lanky 57-year-old software candidates. But even then, one engineer busted a move, we fearar senses Gangnam’s Tefl on nature ‘Gangnam Style’ jumped the would carry the song. It is like a shark.” Then came CNN, wh ichh Movers and virus that is immune to antibiot- wrote Gangnam’s obituary a shakers: Piers Morgan, ics: the lamer its company, the Ryan Gosling and fortnight later. “I hereby declare,” cooler it becomes. Camilla, Duchess declared CNN’s Jarrett Bellini , of Cornwall So perhaps we need the oppo- “October 12, 2012, as the day site: someone who, like Gangnam, Gangnam Style died.” remains genuinely popular. But reports of its death were referenced the video, Gangnam popularity of Gangnam Style. Not Someone who, if placed in the greatly exaggerated. Since sprang back to life – Lazarus-like even David Cameron, whose love same room as Gangnam, might Schmidt’s eff ort, Boris Johnson – from the cyber-graveyard for northern indie has ruined The burst the meme mainframe, dis- has laid claim to the video , as where all memes go to die Smiths for a generation of Mancu- rupt the space-time continuum. have the boys of Eton . And (that’s Rebecca Black over by the nians, but whose association with Someone like Ryan Gosling. Oppa Madonna. And Ban Ki-moon. mausoleum; Downfall’s by the Gangnam has only seemed to Gosling Style – the meme to end And, just yesterday , Anish Kapoor . church wall ). boost its popularity. For the time all memes. Quite literally, I hope. Every time a posho or politician No one, it seems, can stunt the being, it is the cringe-proof Patrick Kingsley Public transport According to information began to disappear in the late 19th revealed in the House of Lords century, when Midlands Railway Are third-class last week, train operators can realised it couldn’t compete with propose the introduction of “a its rivals because its trains took carriages set third passenger class” under the a slow , circuit ous route, explains for a comeback? current franchising agreement. Russell Hollowood at the National Labour minister Lord Myners Railway Museum. “So it called was reported to be outraged, its railway ‘The comfortable way suggest ing this meant: “ There to travel ’,” and scrapped second- t sounds as if it could be the could be a cattle-class carriage at class tickets , eff ectively giving I ideal solution for George the back .” The Department for third-class customers an upgrade. Osborne . The chancellor Transport insists this is mislead- In the 1950s, third class was was recently accused of sitting ing. T he “third class” being talked renamed second class, fi nally in a fi rst-class train carriage, but about would slot between fi rst and becoming “standard” class in only wanting to pay for a standard standard class, it says, similar to the 60s . But one thing hasn’t ticket. He may soon have a nother the “premium economy” off ered changed , he notes: “Most people option , if three classes of carriage by some airlines or Eurostar. have always travelled third class .” return to British trains. The three classes of rail ticket Homa Khaleeli Ê Plate envy Face it MasterChef: The Don’t like the new Shorter Professionals Facebook couples makes anything pages? You could cuts you cook look leave Facebook. pitiful. Tip: eat Or your partner. beforehand and It’s a tough call, move on. this one. 2 The Guardian 15.11.12 David Petraeus with Paula Broadwell in Afghanistan in July this year Homeland security Pass notes Quiz: how well No 3,282 do you know the Cossacks Petraeus aff air? 1. David Petraeus allegedly had Age: Between 600 and 700 years old. As a group. an aff air with Paula Broadwell, Not individually. That would be crazy. They’re the woman who wrote his not giant redwoods. biography. What part of that Appearance: Ukrainian and Russian. sentence is inaccurate? Cossacks! How dare you! a) “Allegedly”. Cossacks! You’re going to tell me about Cossacks. b) “Wrote his biography.” Some- Oh, yes, I see. Sorry, my hearing’s a bit … Anyway, one else wrote it, even though yes, the fi ercest fi ghting force Russia has ever Broadwell’s name is prominently known, the maverick cavalry who helped to on the cover. She did the research. IN NUMBERS thwart Napoleon’s invasion of Russia in 1812, the The undercover research, fnar mysterious loners who carve lives for themselves fnar … Oh, do stop it. 1 in 2,700 in the bleak and unforgiving steppes – and tell the c) “Broadwell” – give me a break, Russian winter to come and have a go, if it thinks UK searches this what kind of phoney name is that it’s hard enough – are in the news. week have included for a mistress? What is this, a the word Twilight Cor! Why? Is Putin planning to invade Poland? Dashiell Hammett screenplay? Or are they just going to have some kind of Broadwell, who then announced bare-knuckle fi ght to entertain the peasants? 2. How did Jon Stewart, who it last month? Or a wolf-killing contest – a lupus-off ? None of interviewed Broadwell earlier this a) Obama has terrible breath. the above. year, sum up her attitude towards b) Joe Biden is a bit of a schmuck. Boo! 600 Cossacks are going to start patrolling the Petraeus? But he’s an amazing dancer! streets of Moscow … a) “He’s great in the sack.” c) The attack on the American On horseback, fi lling the air with the crack of b) “He’s fabulously indiscreet.et. coconsulatensulate in BBenghazi happened their rawhide whips, slashing with their sabres, You should hearr ththee things hhee bbebecausecause the CCIA was holding thrusting with their lances at any members of says about the presidentresident – militia prisoprisonersne next door. the populace with rebellion in their hearts . How whoa, baby!” gloriously retro. Actually, they will be helping c) “He’s covered iinn a 6. WWhathat else did Jill Kelley the police deal with the gobby teenagers, thick coat of awesomesome gegett up to in between instances of bad parking and the illegal street sauce.” sesendingn a gazillion vendors of mobiles, crayfi sh and sunglasses that ememails and working are cluttering the capital’s thoroughfares. 3. How did one ththe Tampa social NFW, dude! And they will be doing it on foot or Denver news showw cicircuit? travelling by bus with free passes. accidentally retitlee aa)) She fl ogged Source: It’s a bit of a comedown from advancing Mother Broadwell’s jjewelleryew for the hitwise.com/uk Russia from the steppes of central Asia to the biography of QVQVCC channel highest peaks of the Caucuses and harrying the Petraeus, All In? undundere the brand name Grande Armée to kicking unsightly seafood carts a) All in Bed Togetherher “S“Socialocial Climber”. off the streets, isn’t it? I wonder they stand for it. b) All Up in My Snatchtch b) SSheh and her husband Well, they will also get the chance to do a bit c) Yes, I am Totally Shagging Him founded a charity allegedly for of harrying. Mostly, many fear, of the various cancer research and patients, ethnic groups – especially Muslims – who live 4. Which computer game, which but instead allegedly spent in Russia and whose presence is an aff ront to the went on sale this week, features all the money on “parties, nationalistic beliefs of the Cossacks. Petraeus? entertainment, travel and Watch this leather-booted, fur-hatted, scarlet- JASON DECROW/INVISION/AP a) Call of Duty: Black Ops II attorney fees” before going out blazoned-trousered space then. Do. b) Call of Libido: Big Oops III of business. Do say: (Like Napoleon) “Cossacks are the best c) Self-Destruct General: Male c) She worked as a Cher (the early light troops among all that exist. If I had them Cliche IV years) impersonator. in my army, I would go through all the world Hadley Freeman with them.” 5. What insider information did Don’t say: “But for now, could you just ticket that ORIGINAL PHOTOGRAPH Petraeus possibly pass on to Answers: 1b; 2c; 3b; 4a; 5c; 6b.