JACKSONVILLE where the wild things are jacksonville zoo and gardens

free weekly guide to entertainment and more | october 11 - 17, 2007 | www.eujacksonville.com 2 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper table of contents feature Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens ...... PAGES 18-24 Zoo of Today & Tomorrow ...... PAGES 18-19 Zoo Food & Events ...... PAGES 19-20 Zookeeper Tours ...... PAGES 21-22 Wild Things - The Young Adults of the Zoo ...... PAGE 22 Zoo Education...... PAGE 23 Corny Maize ...... PAGE 24 movies Movies in Theaters this Week ...... PAGES 6-11 Michael Clayton (movie review) ...... PAGE 6 Feel the Noise (movie review) ...... PAGE 7 We Own the Night (movie review) ...... PAGE 8 Elizabeth: The Golden Age (movie review)...... PAGE 9 Final Season (movie review) ...... PAGE 9 Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure (movie review)...... PAGE 10 home Knocked Up (DVD review) ...... PAGE 12 Walt Disney’s the Jungle Book (DVD review) ...... PAGE 12 Meerkat Manor (TV review) ...... PAGE 13 Elizabeth: The Pirate Queen (book review) ...... PAGE 13 Moonlight (TV review) ...... PAGE 14 dish Heirlooms Bistro (restaurant review) ...... PAGES 16-17 Caring Chefs Profi le (Aqua Grill) ...... PAGE 17 music Music Calendar ...... PAGES 25-29 The Black Kids (TSI)...... PAGE 25 The Explicits (Jack Rabbits)...... PAGE 26 Laura Bryna (interview) ...... PAGE 27 Luke Bryan (interview) ...... PAGE 28 Bernard (interview) ...... PAGE 29 arts / theatre / on stage Lab Monkeys (comic) ...... PAGE 29 Breast Defense (St. Augustine Art Walk) ...... PAGE 30 MOCA for the People ...... PAGE 31 Kevin Locke Native Dance Ensemble (FCCJ Wilson Center) ...... PAGE 32 Frankenstein (Limelight Theatre) ...... PAGE 32 columns and stuff Native Foreigner ...... PAGE 33 Netscapades ...... PAGE 34 The Jock ...... PAGE 34 NASCAR News & Notes ...... PAGE 35

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 3 thisweek Nighthawks Over the last 30+ years, The Nighthawks have earned a reputation as one of the best and hardest working bands around. They played as the opening act or backing band for such legendary blues artists as Muddy Waters, Otis Rush, Big Walter Horton and Elvin Bishop. As always, they will put on an energetic live show that has featured the same lineup since 1995—Mark Wenner (vocals/ harp), Pete Kanaras (guitar), Jan Zukowski (bass) and Pete Ragusa (drums). Check them out at Mojo Blues Bar, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636.

The Sinner’s Ball! Join “Georgia Sloplords” Thee Crucials with The Mondellos and Buffalo Tears for a retro-y garage rock The Dirty Dozen Brass Band show inside the place that the Village Voice talked likened to “a Branch Davidian compound for northeastern Florida’s indie-demo, who are, to generalize, a gaggle of great-looking, fun-loving, unbrilliant drinkers who thursday OCTOBER 11 tend to hypercelebrate as fashion’s apex their aesthetic resistance to the bejorted Jax massive beyond the club— ahem, discotheque—walls.” TSI is at 333 E Bay Street in The Dirty Dozen Brass Band Downtown. Info: (904) 424-3531 Over a 27-year-career, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band has boldly Clint Black forged the traditions of New Orleans jazz with the modern infl uences Sinbad of Bebop, Funk, R&B and Pop, creating a new standard by which all A hardworking funnyman whose clean, family-friendly other New Orleans groups, brass band or otherwise, are measured. persona and animated antics have endeared him into the hearts bona fi de star on the folk circuit. Tickets: $18, Cafe Eleven- 8:30 The guys are always gigging and will swing by the Freebird this of dedicated fans worldwide, Sinbad performs his stand-up act pm Info: (904) 469-9311 week to share their infl uential sound. Tickets: $12/advance, $15/ this Friday at the Florida Theatre. Tickets: $37 to $45, Florida day of show Freebird Live- 8 pm Info: (904) 246-BIRD Theatre- 8 pm Info: (904) 355-2787 Brunswick Rockin’ Stewbilee Animation by Brent Green with Sin Ropas Come enjoy an authentic taste of the Georgia coast with the 3rd Annual Brunswick Rockin’ Stewbilee! The day-long schedule of Animator Brent Green will be at the San Marco Theatre to show off Bernard events includes a 5K road race, a March of Dimes walk, a Pooch some of his work and provide live narration. He’s also bringing his St. Augustine’s own Bernard will be performing in front of an Parade, and of course the Brunswick Stew Tasting Contest. friends Sin Ropas who will provide live scores to the fi lms. Don’t enormous screen fi lled with images that work in sync with the Throughout the day, visitors can enjoy an antique car show, plenty miss this unique night at the movies! Tickets: $5 live performance. Giving a cinematic quality to their live shows, of shopping and the ever popular Junior Stewbies fun zone. The San Marco Theatre- 9:30 pm Info: (904) 396-4845 the band will project images onto the giant screen behind the event culminates with an outdoor concert on the waterfront with Murray Hill Theatre stage this Friday with Shangrala. Read the performances by The Neville Brothers and The Vic Waters Band! EU interview on page 29. Tickets: $8, Murray Hill Theatre- 8 Mary Ross Waterfront Park, Brunswick, GA- 9 am OCTOBER 11 - 13 pm Info: (904) 388-7807 Info: brunswickstewbilee.com Edward Waters College Homecoming 2007 OCTOBER 12 - 14 Three fun packed days of activities: Thur - Alumni Reception 5:30- Daddy’s Little Princess 8:30 pm at the Adams/Jenkins Community Sports & Music Center, Almost Heaven: The Songs of John Denver “Equipped with a scarlet ruffl ed shirt that would put Jerry Seinfeld’s Fri. - Miss EWC Coronation & Reception 7:30 pm at Adams/Jenkins This feel-good musical tribute to John Denver is simply not to be to shame, and trapped behind a little white jacket, it took me at Comm. Center, Sat. - Alumni Breakfast 7:30 am in the Student missed! With a high-voltage cast, live musicians, a multi-media least two or three glances to drink it all in,” EU said of Daddy’s Little Union Bldg., Homecoming Parade 10 am on Campus, Homecoming based set, and thrilling vocal arrangements of your favorite Princess when they played at Fuel in July. DLP appears with The Football Game against UNC Pembroke at 3 pm at the Raines songs, this unique show will prove to be a fan favorite. Be sure Loons at Shantytown Pub in Springfi eld. Football Stadium and Greek Step Show 8:30 pm at Adams/Jenkins to catch one of the four performances this weekend! Tickets: 22 W 6th Street Info: (904) 798-8222 Comm. Center. Info: 470-8276 or 470-8210 $37.50 to $40 Wilson Center for the Arts, FCCJ South Campus Info: (904) 632-3373 The Piano Men The Piano Men is a musical celebration of the 1970s set entirely to the songs of Billy Joel and Elton John. Utilizing rear-screen OCTOBER 13 projection and images, director Jim Witter returns audiences to OCTOBER 12 saturday friday the headlines, people, events and television shows that shaped a John Gorka decade. Along the way, the sounds of “My Life,” “Candle in the Alice in Chains John Gorka songs fall into a sort of melodic middle ground Wind,” “Rocket Man,” “Just the Way You Are,” and many more between folk, pop and country, and often feature strong classic hits create an evening that’s just too much fun to let end. Infl uential Seattle rockers Alice in Chains will be coming to Plush narrative lyrics. The records he has made since the late 1980s Tickets: $12 to $24, Thrasher-Horne Center- 7:30 pm this Friday to perform an all acoustic set. Orlando boys Social have brought him a great deal of critical praise, making him a Info: (904) 276-6815 Ghost will open. Tickets: $40 Plush- 8 pm Info: (904) 743-1845

4 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Clint Black Country music star Clint Black hasn’t been “Killin’ Time” over the past 18 years. Black has released 9 chart-topping albums, over a dozen #1 singles and has tried his hand at acting and is “Still Holding On.” Check out this Hollywood Walk of Famer this Saturday at the Florida Theatre. Tickets: $47.50 to $67.50, Florida Theatre- 8 pm Info: (904) 355-2787 Ashford & Simpson Ashford & Simpson This famed duo has essentially had two careers: one as a successful writing and producing team and the other as singers and performers themselves. The dynamic couple makes beautiful music together and will be at the Ritz Theatre this weekend to share some of it with you. This special event marks the Ritz Theatre’s 8th Anniversary, so be sure to come out and support it! Tickets: $55, Ritz Theatre- 8 pm Info: (904) 632-5555

Michael Franti & Spearhead Featuring a blend of hip-hop, funk, reggae, jazz, folk, and rock, Franti is an outspoken supporter for a wide spectrum of peace and social justice issues. In addition, Franti produced a movie entitled I Know I’m Not Alone, using the songs from his album ‘Yell Fire!’ as a soundtrack. (Check out his fi lm on Wed., Oct. 17 at the MOCA Underground Film Series.) Franti and Spearhead will perform at Freebird Live with Blue King Brown. Info: 246-2473 sunday OCTOBER 14 Gregg Allman Gregg Allman’s most visible contribution to rock music is as lead singer, organist, and songwriter within the Allman Brothers Band. He has never threatened to eclipse the band that carries his family name, but he has found occasional success and popularity with his solo work, which is distinctly different, more soulful and less focused on high-wattage virtuosity. Allman performs at the Florida Theatre this Sunday. Tickets: $36 to $43, Florida Theatre- 8 pm Info: (904) 355-2787

Steven Marley A member of the celebrated Marley sibling group The Melody Makers since the age of seven, the Steven Marley has also been the driving creative force behind the music of his brothers. His production, performance and writing credits recently earned him two Grammys- giving him a total of fi ve: more than any other Marley family member or reggae artist in history. Tickets: $21/advance, $26/day of show Freebird Live- 8 pm Info: (904) 246-BIRD tuesday OCTOBER 16 Kevin Locke Native Dance Ensemble There is no other show like it. Representing the Plains nations of Lakota, Anishinabe and Comanche, the Southeastern tribe Choctaw, and the Woodlands Nations of Ojibwe and Oneida, this one-of-a-kind ensemble of American Indian champions and award winners offers a rich variety of American Indian traditions and aesthetics in dance, instrumentals, song, storytelling, sign language and audience interaction. See story page 32. Tickets: $33, Wilson Center for the Arts, FCCJ South Campus- 7:30 pm Info: (904) 632-3373 or artistseries.fccj.org

Salvador Santana Bandleader, keyboardist, vocalist and composer Salvador Santana’s vibrant music and lyrical poetry mixes conscious hip-hop, jazz, R&B, rock, Latin and other world idioms into a fresh, individual and totally contemporary style. It also doesn’t hurt that his dad is music icon Carlos Santana! Salvador performs this week with B-Side Players and Cipes & the People. Tickets: $10, Jack Rabbits- 8 pm Info: (904) 398-7496 wednesday OCTOBER 17 Cream Abdul Babar Cream Abdul Babar fuses the most punishing aspects of punk, metal, industrial and noise in an unsuspecting blend of chaotic intensity. They also have a really great name! Tickets: $10, Jack Rabbits- 8 pm, Info: (904) 398-7496

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 5 fi lm that would be diffi cult to market, yet showcase MOVIES OPENING Clooney’s acting skill. Clooney’s Clayton was a perfect vehicle for his macho bluster. It was fi tting ACROSS THE UNIVERSE Set against the indeed that Clooney showed up at the premiere with anti-war protests, rock and roll revolution, and his girlfriend on crutches from their motorcycle mind-expanding psychedelia of the 1960s, Julie accident. It gave him street cred. Yes, Clooney is a Taymor’s hallucinogenic musical follows the natural at these tough guy roles. It suits his man’s arduous journey of star crossed lovers Jude man celebrity persona. (Jim Sturgess) and Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood) Gilroy’s script allows the viewer to be privy to as they and a small group of musicians are the secret negotiations that go on behind the scenes swept up in the raging waters of the volatile in big litigation cases, much like FX’s Damages. It’s counterculture movement. The music in the fi lm dirty, no-holds-barred war as litigators and lawyers consists exclusively of songs made popular by shun morality to win. In this case, protecting the The Beatles during the time period depicted in truth from surfacing could lead to murder. Clayton the movie. PG-13 lost his moral compass a long time ago. Now he takes the viewer on a journey to the dark side ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE Actress Cate to reveal just how far he is willing go to fi x this Blanchett returns to her Oscar-nominated role problem. for this belated sequel to the critically acclaimed In this bleak legal undercurrent, Clayton has 1998 biopic Elizabeth that explores the 16th spent his entire career “adjusting the truth” and now century romance between the “Virgin Queen” faces a crisis of morality and conscience. A former and noted adventurer Sir Walter Raleigh (Clive prosecutor, Clayton is an in-house cleaner for the Owen). Geoffrey Rush returns to the role of Sir biggest law fi rm in NYC, Kenner, Bach & Ledeen. Francis Walsingham. PG13 Clayton mops up company and client messes for his boss Marty Bach, played by none other than Sydney THE FINAL SEASON In the small town of Nor- Pollack. Clayton bares all the scars of his 24/7 on- way, Iowa, everyone comes together for high call job–a nasty divorce, mounting debt from his school baseball. But life throws curve balls; gambling addiction and his grudging dependence and the passionate young players, rookie coach on the fi rm. In a big case, litigator Karen Crowder Kent Stock (Sean Astin), and the hometown (Tilda Swinton) is negotiating a multi-million dollar fans fi nd that life’s greatest challenges strike off clooney gets intense settlement in a class action lawsuit that Clayton’s the diamond. PG fi rm seems to have under control. Ah, but the excrement hits the windshield when Kenner Bach’s IN THE SHADOW OF THE MOON Between litigator, Arthur Edens (Tom Wilkinson), has a melt 1968 and 1972, nine American spacecrafts Michael Clayton movie review down at a deposition, leaving Clayton holding the voyaged to the Moon, and 12 men walked upon bag of steamy dung. its surface. They remain the only human beings The complex scenario weaves and bobs around to have stood on another world. For the fi rst BY RICK GRANT [email protected] Bach and Crowder’s crumbling case. Along with time, and possibly the last, the fi lm combines A Rated R 119 min streetwise script was accentuated by his deliberately Wilkinson and Swinton’s brilliant characterizations, archival material from the original NASA fi lm slow but even pacing. His boiler-room ambiance Clooney is defi nitely in his element and stretches his footage. PG Writer/director Tony Gilroy’s tense, slow- gives each character space to expand beyond acting skill with a memorable performance. Clayton grinding thriller Michael Clayton fi ts-in with George their initial development. The result is a hardcore has to walk through mine fi elds of treachery as KING OF CALIFORNIA At the age of sixteen, Clooney’s stern, in-your-face characterizations in exploration of corporate malfeasance at the expense he faces moral judgements at every turn. Fans of Miranda (Evan Rachel Wood) has already such showcases as Syriana. Clooney’s portrayal of of public health. (Think Silkwood meets The Firm.) Clooney will shiver in their seats when his character had to live with her share of disappointments. morally ambiguous fi xer attorney Michael Clayton is Clearly, Warner Bros. gave fl immaker Gilroy and gets angry. Yeah, that’s the Clooney we love as the Abandoned by her mother, she’s dropped out of bolstered by a strong supporting cast. Gilroy’s gritty star Clooney free rein to create an uncompromising scenario unfolds in shades of gray before erupting school and has been supporting herself as an like a volcano. employee at McDonald’s while her father Charlie Tom Wilkinson will be remembered for his (Michael Douglas) resides in a mental institu- stunning, Oscar-worthy performance as bipolar tion. When Charlie is released and sent back to Arthur, who is crazy like a fox. Several years ago, their home, Miranda fi nds the relatively peaceful Wilkinson was featured in a succession of indie existence she’s built for herself completely dis- British fi lms. He hit pay-dirt with In the Bedroom, rupted. PG-13 which got him an Oscar nomination. This was Wilkinson’s motivation to move to Hollywood to seek MICHAEL CLAYTON Michael Clayton (George acting roles in American fi lms. Since then, he has Clooney) is an in-house “fi xer” at one of the proved that he is a quality, A-list actor and is working largest corporate law fi rms in New York. A steadily in dozens of promising fi lms. His portrayal former criminal prosecutor, Clayton takes care of guilt-ridden attorney Arthur Edens in this fi lm only of the dirtiest work at the behest of the fi rm’s confi rms his versatile acting chops. Fans of George co-founder Marty Bach (Sydney Pollack). At Clooney and legal thrillers with dialogue driven plots U/North, meanwhile, the career of litigator Karen will dig this fi lm. Crowder (Tilda Swinton) rests on the multi-mil- lion dollar settlement of a class action suit R

TYLER PERRY’S WHY DID I GET MARRIED? A big-screen adaptation of Perry’s hit stage play of the same title, ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ is an intimate story about the diffi culty of maintain- ing a solid love relationship in modern times. 

6 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Perry stars alongside a talented ensemble cast that includes Janet Jackson, Malik Yoba, Jill Scott, rap, reggae and Sharon Leal, Tasha Smith, Michael Jai White, Denise Boutte and Lamann Rucker. PG13

WE OWN THE NIGHT WE OWN THE NIGHT This drama tells the tale of an emerging club manager hot latin rhythms whose family ties to law enforcement. His father Burt (Robert Duvall) is the deputy chief of police and his brother Joseph (Mark Walberg) is a rising star on the force, Bobby struggles to keep that sensitive information from everyone except his Feel The Noise devoted girlfriend Amanda (Eva Mendes). Rated R BY RICK GRANT [email protected] NOW SHOWING

C Rated PG-13 86 min creative young artists experi- 3:10 TO YUMA A rancher struggles to support ment with various musical his ranch and family during a long drought. Des- Alejandro Chomski’s fi lm is technically and and rhythmic concepts. The perately needing money to build a well, he takes thematically fl awed. However, the middle segment, passionate, sexy Latin reg- an assignment to transport a notorious felon, in which takes place in Puerto Rico, showcases the gaeton scene begs to be the hands of authorities, to Yuma for imprison- exciting fusion of rap, reggae, and Latin rhythms imported to America. ment. Starring: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, called reggaeton. The fi lm is built around the concept Young people that like Alan Tudyk, Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol Rating: R of introducing reggaeton to American audiences. the rhythm and dancibility of Unfortunately, the fi lm’s editing is a mess and rap, but don’t care for some THE BRAVE ONE Neil Jordan’s The Brave One its scenario takes the viewer back to NYC, where it of the misogynistic and vio- stars Jodie Foster as a happy woman whose life bogs down in the thug mentality of big city rap. Once lent overtones, can turn to changes irrevocably after a brutal assault leaves the setting changed to Puerto Rico, with its pristine reggaeton. If you don’t speak her partner (Naveen Andrews) dead. The woman, beaches and beautiful women partying in the reg- Spanish, then you’ll never feeling that the police investigation will be un- gaeton clubs, the picture is well worth viewing. here those nuances in this able to catch the perpetrators, begins to live in This fi lm underscores the fl ip side of a disturb- music. constant fear. This outlook results in the woman ing trend. As long as fi lmmakers glorify American The fi lm could lead eventually dispatching vigilante justice. Terrence rap, which is tied so closely with violence, a whole to an American reggaeton Howard co-stars as the offi cer in charge of the subculture of gangsta rappers will emulate this movement. investigation. Rated R lifestyle. In contrast, the reggaeton scene in Puerto Rico has much more integrity in terms of its musical DRAGON WARS A beautiful young woman pos- ideas, which include real horn sections and Latin sesses the power to transform a legendary giant percussion. The fundamental difference between serpent into an almighty dragon who can only as- American rap and Puerto Rican reggaeton is the cend into heaven with the woman’s ultimate sac- Latin concept’s reliance on faster rhythms and real rifi ce. But the forces of darkness are out to claim orchestration instead of a series of sampled funk the young woman as their own. Rated PG-13 grooves. This contrast is played out through the fi lm’s EASTERN PROMISES Naomi Watts is a London characters. Aspiring Harlem rapper, Rob (Omarion midwife who looks into the death of a patient, Grandberry) is trying to make it in the thug-addled putting her in the sights of a ruthless Russian big city rap scene. Finally, he gets a showcase at a mobster. Viggo Mortensen as the mysterious and popular club. But just as he takes the stage, a rival charismatic Russian-born Nikolai Luzhin is a driv- group leader pulls out a handgun and shoots at er for one of London’s most notorious organized Rob, who ducks and miraculously is not hit. Rob’s crime families of Eastern European origin. Rated R mother freaks out and decides to send Rob down to live with his father in Puerto Rico, where Roberto FEAST OF LOVE This kaleidoscopic ode to love (Giancarlo Esposito) and his lovely wife Marivi (Rosa in all its funny, sad, sexy, crazy, heartbreaking Arredondo) run a small convenience store. Rob’s and extraordinary facets. This thoroughly modern half-brother, Javi (Victor Rasuk), runs an Internet version of a Midsummer Night’s Dream erupts in radio station from his room. Javi introduces Rob to a tight-knit Oregon neighborhood as local profes- reggaeton and its infectious rhythms. Rob decides to sor Harry Stevenson (Morgan Freeman) witnesses write his rap over the music. At fi rst he fi nds it dif- love whipping up mischief among the town’s fi cult to adapt to the faster rhythm, but he perseveres residents -- who include Greg Kinnear, Selma and begins writing serious rap songs about his joy at Blair, Radha Mitchell, Billy Burke, Alexa Davalos, being in Puerto Rico. Well, it’s a familiar story. Rob’s Toby Hemmingway and Jane Alexander - all their gorgeous girlfriend is hustled by a shady record pro- stories intertwine into one remarkable romantic ducer from NYC, who just wants to get in her pants. fable. Rated R She convinces Rob and Javi to trust this jerk. Now the picture shifts mood back to dreary FEEL THE NOISE Harlem, contrasting greatly with being in Puerto A 21-year-old aspiring hip-hop star from the Rico. Predicably, the boys are lured into a phony Bronx is forced to put his career on hold when record producer’s world and things turn ugly. The a gang of local thugs threatens his life and he is build up in Puerto Rico fi zzles and the picture suffers forced to seek refuge with his estranged father in as Albert Leon’s script takes a drastic turn. If Leon Puerto Rico. Musical appearances: Vico, Volito, was making a statement about the dark side of rap in Wyclef Jean, Alexis and Fido. PG13 Harlem, he succeeded at the expense of the story’s continuity. Director Chomski’s shift in tone when the THE GAME PLAN The Rock picks up the pigskin boys return to Harlem paints American rap as anar- once again for this sports-themed family comedy chistic and intrinsically violent. then learns that he has a daughter he never knew. Overall, Chomski and Leon’s stark cinematic Kyra Sedgwick stars as the professional athlete’s comparison between reggaeton and American rap ruthless agent who would rather see her client is an oversimplifi cation of two genres of hip-hop scoring touchdowns. Rated PG music. Like rock’n’roll, rap is constantly changing as 

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 7 you are kind of hoping that someone will pull out a HALLOWEEN Under the direction of Rob Zombie gun). Bobby also has to deal with the challenges of there is a new take on the legend and a new preserving a relationship with his girlfriend Amada chapter in the Michael Myers “Halloween” saga. (Eva Mendes) throughout the guns, death and shift- Starring: Daeg Faerch, Danielle Harris, Malcolm ing loyalties. McDowell, Danny Trejo, and Sheri Moon. Rated R This is certainly a straightforward story and is for the most part, well told. The writer and director THE HEARTBREAK KID This remake of Elaine James Gray (Little Odessa and The Yards), seems May’s The Heartbreak Kid stars Ben Stiller as to have an affi nity for all that is Russian, but avoids Eddie, a man who as the fi lm opens is getting common cliché pitfalls that could have made this married to a woman he proposed to after knowing fi lm convoluted. Although the characters are simple her for just one week. While on their honeymoon and you get it from the start, there is some lack of he discovers that his new bride is in many ways development, mostly with the auxiliary players. a horrible person, and at the same time meets a There was a fantastic bleakness to the look woman (Michelle Monaghan) who he begins to of the movie that did well in highlighting the sheer realize he should have married. Rated R savagery that took place. Although We Own the Night wasn’t a gigantic cops versus gang shoot em’ JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB As fi ve women and up battle for the streets, it felt realistic and painted one enigmatic man meet to discuss the works of a stirring picture of the price that everyone pays Jane Austen, they fi nd their love lives playing out for their choices. In fact, it was a pervading theme in a 21st century version of her novels. Rating: of parallels and the consequences that both sides PG-13. of the law must pay in order to achieve their goals, redeem their pride or get revenge. THE KINGDOM In the aftermath of a deadly at- tack on American forces in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, diplomats are slow to act, but meanwhile, FBI special agent Ronald Fleury (Jamie Foxx) as- sembles a secret team of U.S. counter-terrorism investigators to enter the city and fi nd the criminal behind what has quickly become an international incident. Rated R

MR. WOODCOCK John Farley, author of a best- selling self-help book, returns to his hometown the prodigal son to receive the community’s highest honor. While there, John learns that his widowed mother, Beverly, is engaged to Mr. Woodcock, the gym teacher whose sadistic exploits were the bane of John’s youth. Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Seann gets a gun William Scott, Susan Sarandon, Kurt Fuller, and Amy Poehler. Rated PG-13

RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION Alice, now in We Own The Night hiding in the Nevada desert, once again joins The parallels start right out of the gate when forces with Carlos Olivera and L.J., along with BY BRENTON CROZIER there is a fantastic wide angle shot of Bobby’s club new survivors Claire, K-Mart and Nurse Betty to from the balcony. It’s not exactly the hedonistic uto- try to eliminate the deadly virus that threatens to B+ Rated R 117 min. hottest nightclub. Bobby’s father Burt (Robert Du- pia portrayed in Studio 54, but it’s a packed dance make every human being undead...and to seek vall) is a police chief and his brother Joseph (Mark fl oor with glitz, beautiful women, abundant alcoholic justice. Rated R Calling We Own the Night gritty would make Wahlberg) is the newly crowned captain of the drug beverages and loud, catchy dance music. The story me Captain Obvious, so for the sake of brevity, you squad. And now let life paths collide! segues to a police celebration honoring Bobby’s SEA MONSTERS: A PREHISTORIC ADVENTURE can call me the ol’ CO. The movie is about a New Bobby’s club is owned and frequented by the father and brother. This party takes place in a neigh- IN 3D York City family that is steeped in police tradition, very Russian drug pushers that Joseph is going borhood church, is packed with families, features This stunning photo-realistic computer-gener- except for Bobby (Joaquin Phoenix) who evades his after. From this point, violence ensues, although bountiful bowls of punch and I believe I saw some ated animation transports audiences back to the father’s footsteps to be the manager of Brooklyn’s never gratuitous (and at some valleys in the story, cookies. Late Cretaceous, when a great inland sea divided The expected animosity exists between Bobby North America in two. The fi lm follows a curious and Burt and Joseph, but in true prodigal son style, and adventurous dolichorhynchopsas she travels transforms throughout the story. This isn’t the ac- through the most dangerous oceans in history. tion packed, super bloody, lock and load sequence Along the way, she encounters long-necked packed fi lm that I expected, but it was an interesting plesiosaurs, giant turtles, enormous fi sh, fi erce look into the real side of the consequences of choos- sharks, and the most dangerous sea monsters of ing a lifestyle. The acting was fantastic. Joaquin all, the mosasaur. Phoenix was the standout and continues to show why he is one of the most versatile and solid per- SEEKER: THE DARK IS RISING This fi lm tells formers in Hollywood. the story of Will Stanton, a young man who learns The movie lacked a consistent tempo and he is the last of a group of warriors who have seemed to be weighed down by exploring each dedicated their lives to fi ghting the forces of the of Bobby’s individual relationships. In fact, it was Dark. Traveling back and forth through time, Will paced very similarly to Heat, but was approximately discovers a series of clues which lead him into a one hour shorter. The camerawork was solid and showdown with the forces of unimaginable power. did a great job of putting you into the situation be- Ratrd PG ing played out. With the exception of some sporadic fl ashiness, the movie felt like it was made with an SYDNEY WHITE Gorgeous freshman Sydney old school cop thriller template and placed in the late White has come to Southern Atlantic University to 80s. pledge her late mom’s once-dignifi ed sorority. She If you enjoy a good cop movie with solid act- is banished to a condemned house on Greek Row, ing, fantastic shots of New York City and the occa- and fi nds her rightful place with a band of seven sional sultry scene with Eva Mendes doing her better work, than you will certainly enjoy We Own the  Night.

8 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper long drag the queen the good news bears Elizabeth: The Golden Age

BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] The Final Season

C Rated PG13 114 min. gnashing of teeth would be over. Historically, Queen Elizabeth I was surrounded Clive Owen as Walter Raleigh seems to be BY RICK GRANT [email protected] by hordes of people who mattered to her kingdom. the chewy emotional and poetic center of the fi lm. There are so many interesting personalities to It didn’t hurt that I just enjoy looking at him, and B Rated PG 114 min and the town, it was imperative that the Tigers choose from in her court that I’m sure it was diffi cult he’s as handsome and dashing as the portraits I’ve win the final championship–to go out with glory. to choose which to include. The fi lmmakers of The seen of the real Raleigh. One historical fi gure I did The prospect of viewing yet another rah- Coach Stock faced impossible odds. The team Golden Age wisely decided to focus on a narrow miss was the great pirate, seaman and strategist Sir rah sports movie gave me a migraine, but this was demoralized at having to travel to a bigger few. History is an unwieldy beast that doesn’t always Francis Drake. I felt that the Raleigh character in the film, directed by David Mickey Evans and written high school and lose their Norway fans. And, lend itself to the expedient medium of fi lm. For this movie was a combination of Raleigh and Drake, as by Art D’Alessandro, is an engrossing David and without Coach Scoyoc, they didn’t think they reason, the movie condenses some of the relation- Drake was far more hated and feared by the Spanish. Goliath scenario that warms the heart. It’s about had a chance. So, Coach Stock had to win over ships and historical happenings. It also leans heavily As soon as Bess Throckmorton (Abbie Cor- a small town high school baseball team that, the team to restore its winning spirit. He calmly on some theories surrounding the death of Mary, nish) was introduced as a prominent character against all odds, wins consecutive champion- gained the players confidence by proving he Queen of Scotts, which may or may not be accurate. along with Raleigh, I knew the angle the plot was ships. Yes, it’s predictable, but well done. could hit anything the pitcher could throw at Cate Blanchett works Elizabeth’s wry humor destined to follow, because I know my history. The Just under the surface, though, the docu- him. into well-scripted lines in the beginning of the movie. events surrounding Bess are mightily condensed and drama chronicles declining small town Ameri- Director Evans avoids sports movie cliches Later in the fl ick, I wished that the same humor and resolved much more handily in the movie than they cana, with its quaint traditions and one-on-one with clever fast-paced shots of baseball ac- strength would reappear, as I was less and less en- were in history. teacher/student classrooms. Today, many of tion, tempered by a romance between Coach tertained and entranced by Elizabeth’s near constant Geoffrey Rush was masterful and convincing these small towns have been consolidated into Stock and Polly Hudson (Rachael Leigh Cook) bouts of self-doubt. When Raleigh says that she isn’t as the queen’s “spymaster” and advisor Sir Francis bigger communities and the kids sent to larger who was part of the consultation team that was acting like the Queen he’s loved and served, I found Walsingham. His side-plot was a bit hurriedly devel- schools because of financial necessity. This is pushing the consolidation of the town. But at myself nodding in agreement–for the rest of the oped, but Rush worked it as best he could and saved due in part to the agribusiness conglomerates Stock’s suggestion, she became an advocate of movie. scenes that otherwise might have been weak. buying out small privately owned farms. small towns and fell in love with Stock. Director This self-doubt and weakness of purpose While I can’t say that I loved this movie, it’s D’Alessandro’s premise, based on a true Evans didn’t go too far into gushing sentimental- would have been more effective had they been not because of any failing on the actor’s parts. Each story, is about the Norway (Iowa) Tigers. In ity with this subplot, but just enough to sweeten scattered, not concentrated as they were. To see actor in the fi lm did their job (and then some). The 1989 they were forced to play their final sea- the scenario. the self-possessed Queen occasionally give way to fl aws seemed to lie more in the pacing because of son without their legendary coach Ban Scoyoc In many ways, high school and little league moments of ambivalence would have been far more directorial and script choices. (Powers Boothe). The team had won the State baseball represent the purest form of baseball. powerful in the glimpses rather than lengthy tirades Despite a run time of less than two hours, Championship every year for the last 20 years This is in stark contrast to professional baseball and depressions. The gist of this depression seemed Elizabeth does seem to drag at times. I didn’t mind under coach Scoyoc’s skillful guidance, beating with its players’ obscene salaries and their use to be: It’s so HARD being the Queen! All those jewels the slower pacing, because I thought it refl ected the much bigger schools. But the team is more than of performance-enhancing drugs. This film por- and servants! No one understands me, but I must be times, but it means that modern viewers are going to just a baseball tradition, it’s the soul of the town. trays this pureness of baseball by uplifting the strong for England. To be that strong, I’m going to fi nd themselves a little bored in places. The baseball field bleachers fill up just for the viewers’ spirits with footage of real kids playing need another wig and a different outfi t. What the movie does have is a sense of pag- team’s practice sessions. “We grow ballplayers for the love of the game. Of course, this par- The true focus seems to be how Elizabeth’s eantry, an eye for detail and stunning costumes. I here like corn,” coach Scoyoc declares in the ticular team was so legendary, it was continu- personal life and character infl uenced the decisions have to admit, it’s a beautiful fi lm. Much of the movie script. Many of the Norway players went on to ally scouted by the big leagues and the players she made. Sometimes she had to make decisions for is framed like a living painting, with many shots of be signed to the major leagues. knew if they excelled, they stood a chance of a the good of the crown and her own self-preservation Elizabeth in iconic poses, framed by light or staring Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings movies–Patty career in the pros. But that wasn’t their primary that she regretted deeply. After giving the order to out a window. These shots both exalt and debase Duke Astin’s son) portrays Kent Stock who concern. They were into baseball for the right execute Mary Queen of Scots, who is implicated in the movie. There are so many of them that by the gives up a banking job to return to Norway to reasons, and if it got them into the majors, all an assassination attempt on Elizabeth, the viewer is end of the fi lm they begin to lose their value. Plus coach the team in place of Coach Scoyoc. Of the better. If it didn’t, then they would go on to treated to Elizabeth pacing the halls with her ladies, because the director lingers so lovingly over them, it course, he had big shoes to fill and he had to college and make something of their lives. The lamenting for what seems like an inordinately long drags the pace down and down. At times it felt like I prove himself to a reluctant team that felt no film promotes a positive life lesson for family period of time. I just kept wishing they’d hurry up was watching a photograph, not a movie; a painting one could replace Coach Scoyoc. For the team viewing. and lop off Mary’s head, so that the wailing and instead of a scene.

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 9 very socially challenged guys. Starring Amanda Bynes, Matthew Long, Sara Paxton, Jeremy How- ard, Crystal Hunt. Rated PG13 SPECIAL SHOWINGS

Not Just for Baby Boomers Film Series The Jacksonville Public Library Main Branch will have a FREE 5:45 showing every 2nd and 4th Thursday of a classic fi lm in the Auditorium with complimentary popcorn and soda. IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT will be shown on October 11. Info: 630-2665 or www.jaxpubliclibrary.org

BRENT GREEN’S ANIMATED SHORTS Brent Green, whose short fi lms have been shown at Sundance, will be providing live narration to the shorts on Oct 11 at 9:30 at the San Marco Theatre. Cost is $5. After the fi lms Sin Ropas will be providing a short set of musical delights. Info: 396-4845 or sanmarcotheatre.com.

Night Owl Cinema Series The St. Augustine Amphitheatre will be hosting a screening of JURASSIC PARK (Rated PG-13) on Friday, October 12. Food will be provided by vari- ous local restaurants so come early and hungry. Doors open at 6:30 pm and the movie start 8 pm. The Amphitheatre is located 1340 A1A South 80 million years ago in St. Augustine. Info: 904-471-1965 or stau- gamphitheatre.com.

Midnight Movie Sea Monsters: IMAX For any R. Kelly fans the San Marco Theatre will screen TRAPPED IN A CLOSET the fi rst 12 chapters on Fri., Oct. 12 at 11:55 pm along with BY DEBBIE RICKS [email protected] the mind bending commentary he provides. Sat., Oct. 13 the new installment of TRAPPED IN A A not rated 40 min shark. They also run into the Styxosaurus with its 20- CLOSET will be screened as well. Both screen- You don’t have to be a dinosaur lover to dive into foot long neck and fl ippers the size of an adult human; ings will be FREE. Info: 396-4845 IMAX’s newest fi lm, Sea Monsters: a Prehistoric Ad- the Xiphactinus, a 6-foot fi sh that could swallow prey venture. Award winning director Sean Phillips (Jaws half its length, and the gentle Hesperonis, a fl ightless Ritz Theatre Film Series 3-D) and National Geographic take you under the pre- bird that swam and fed in the ocean like a penguin. SAVE OUR HISTORY: VOICES OF CIVIL RIGHTS historic sea in a fi rst-of-its-kind movie that deals with The graphics in this movie are amazing. I can will screened on Oct. 13 from 11am - 1pm what existed under the water during the cretaceous see why Phillips chose to tell the story of these “other for free! This is A moving compilation of oral period. dinosaurs” in large screen format. Phillips uses histories gathered. Blacks and whites, children 80 million years ago most of the Earth was cov- photorealistic animation to bring the sea creatures to and parents, Freedom Riders and segregation- ered in water. A sea split the United States in half. The life. This was my fi rst time at an IMAX theater. I was ist speak from their experiences and tell a more fi lm begins in – of all places – Kansas, where a group awestruck by the immense size of the screen. As I personal side of the Movement. of paleontologist have uncovered the bones of a pre- was watching the fi lm, it felt like I was underwater. Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum - Info: 904-632- historic sea creature. Phillips cleverly weaves together This movie was also fi lmed in 2-D and 3-D formats. 5555 or [email protected] a series of archeological digs from around the world Unfortunately, the Saint Augustine theater can only into a story to explain why the bones of prehistoric show it in 2-D. However, the enormous screen makes Friends of the Fest (Formerly Reel People) sea creatures turn up in the driest places on Earth. it even more spectacular. It is worth the drive just to Jacksonville Film Events’ Viva Cinema presents Places like the Australian Outback, Israel, Texas and, experience the graphics. LIVE-IN MAID on Oct. 14, at 1 pm at the San of course, Kansas. Peter Gabriel, David Rhodes and Richard Evans Marco Theatre. Info: 396-4845 jacksonville- Narrated by Leiv Schreiber (Jakob the Liar), you collaborated for the movie’s original score, which is fi lmevents.com/events_reel.htm are taken on a journey with a family of Dolichorhyn- just as enchanting as the movie. And because Nation- chops, also knows as “Dollies” as they navigate the al Geographic knows how to market a movie, there MOCA Underground tranquil yet treacherous prehistoric ocean in search will be a companion book for adults and a children’s Wednesday’s come alive at MOCA Jacksonville of food. On the way they encounter a host of other 3-D pop up version. There will also be a video game from 5 to 9 pm for MOCA in the Middle. Enjoy sea creatures. Like the 45-foot long Tylosaurus with that will be available on Sony PlayStation 2, Nintendo live music in the atrium during the happy hour eyes the size of grapefruits. It swallowed its prey hole. DS, and Wii, along with other licensed products. 5 to 7 pm before the MOCA Underground fi lm Prey that included the Cretoxyrhina, a precursor to the Check local megaplexes for showings in 3-D. series begins at 7 pm. This Wednesday, Oct. 17, I KNOW I’M NOT ALONE will be screened. Michael Franti, world-renowned creator of the hip hop fusion group Spearhead travels to Iraq, Palestine and Israel to explore the human cost of war with a group of friends, some video cameras and his guitar. With its guerilla-style footage captured in active war zones, the documentary offers the audience a sense of intimate travel and the opportunity to hear the voices of everyday people living, creating and surviving under the harsh conditions of war and occupation. MOCA Underground Q & A this month will feature Spe- cial Guest Jimmy Saal of Spin Magazine. Info: 366-6911or mocajacksonville.org.

10 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 11 share some funny stories from the set (and some new on dvd terrible impressions) and point out things you may have missed when you watched the fi lm the fi rst SURF’S UP (85 min.) time. Fourteen deleted scenes made the disc, rang- Cody Maverick (Shia LaBeouf), inspired by his ing from completely hysterical to totally pointless. hero- a legendary wave rider named Big Z, leaves The funniest of the bunch is a scene between Heigl his family and his town of Shiverpool, Antarctica and Superbad’s Jonah Hill, whose character explains to travel to Pen Gu Island for the Big Z Memorial in detail why he thinks Brokeback Mountain wasn’t Surf Off. Cody believes that winning will bring gay enough. Four extended scenes best left on the him the admiration and respect he desires. But cutting room fl oor are also available, but not really when he unexpectedly comes face to face with a worth watching. “Line-O-Rama” is much better. washed up old surfer named The Geek (Jeff Bridg- Showing the cast’s mad ad-libbing skills, this brief es), Cody begins to understand that the greatest collection (clocking in at around 3½ minutes) of line champion isn’t always the one who comes in fi rst. variations is full of laughs. The disc also includes a gag reel, a 5-minute featurette about how Apatow Rated PG for mild language and some rude humor. convinced cast member Jay Baruchel to overcome his fear of roller coasters, an amusing 7-minute 28 WEEKS LATER (113 min.) short called “Directing the Director” featuring Capote Six months after the Rage virus has spread director Bennett Miller and a performance of “You throughout the city of London, life is starting over Can’t Fail Me Now” by Loudon Wainwright. again. The United States Army has restored order I liked The 40 Year-Old Virgin but I had no idea and is repopulating the quarantined city. But a car- how much I would love Knocked Up. Apatow man- rier of the Rage virus enters London and unknow- aged to create a no-holds-barred, R-rated comedy ingly re-ignites the spread of the deadly infection, naughty laughs that manages to be sweet and heartwarming while wreaking havoc on the entire population. The virus maintaining an edge that you can’t get from your is not yet dead, and this time it’s more dangerous average PG-13 romcom. Naughty, yet not overly than ever! Rated R for strong violence and gore, Knocked Up dvd review raunchy, sweet, yet not sickeningly so, Knocked language and some sexuality/nudity. Up makes for a great date movie, giving both sexes plenty to laugh about right up until the very end. REIGN OVER ME (124 min.) BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] Perfectly cast, Rogen brings this man-child to life in Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler) has slipped away It wowed critics, made a ton of money at the fi lm grossed over $148 million in the US alone. A a way no other actor could. He’s completely believ- from reality after the sudden loss of his wife and box offi ce and made megastars out of nearly every huge hit with fans, the fi lm also charmed critics, able as this loveable loser and, like Alison, you fi nd children. But Charlie’s life takes a turn for the bet- person involved. Now, everyone’s favorite R-rated receiving a remarkably high 91% fresh rating at yourself falling for him as time passes, rooting for ter when he runs into his old college roommate summer comedy, Knocked Up, is now available on RottenTomatoes.com, a website that keeps track of Ben to get his life together and cheering when he Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle), whose life is torn DVD. reviews from major critics all around the country. fi nally does. Heigl is luminous as our lady in the fam- between the demands of career and family. Their Ben Stone (Seth Rogen) is an easy-going Knocked Up was released on DVD last week ily way, providing both a pretty face and the story’s renewed friendship rekindles their long-forgotten everyman whose wildest dreams come true when in three different editions- Rated R, Unrated and the moral compass. Her life is about to be completely bond, and both men emerge enriched and en- uberhottie Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) takes him Unrated 2-Disc Special Edition. For the purpose of turned upside down over a stupid mistake, yet the lightened. Rated R for language and some sexual back to her place for a drunken roll in the hay. The this review, we’ll be talking about the single-disc character remains steadfast and strong, never wal- references. next morning, the two part ways, thinking their unrated release, but before we get into the supple- lowing for long in self-pity or regret. Heigl is great in one night stand will be nothing more than a fuzzy ments it should be known that if you want to save a this role, which is a world away from her character EVAN ALMIGHTY (96 min.) memory. Two months and a convenience store aisle few bucks the Rated R theatrical cut should work for on Grey’s Anatomy. It’s a welcome change, one I Newly elected to Congress, the polished, preening worth of pregnancy tests later, Alison discovers you. If, on the other hand, you’re interested in spend- hope she gets the opportunity to dabble in again newscaster, Evan Baxter (Steve Carell), is the next that the professional slacker has knocked her up ing a bit more for an entire extra disc of bonus fea- in the future. The DVD itself is also a terrifi c fi nd. one anointed by God to accomplish a holy mis- and immediately gets in contact with him to discuss tures, the 2-Disc Special Edition is what you need. Packed with bonus features, the single-disc unrated sion- God appears and mysteriously commands their options. The two decide to see the pregnancy Luckily, the single-disc unrated release is also fairly edition is really more than a fan could hope to ask him to build an ark. But his befuddled family just through and to try and get to know each other better rich with extras, giving those strapped with cash a for. can’t decide whether Evan is having an extraor- along the way. As the months tick by, Ben and Alison well-rounded DVD at a reasonable price. Those who caught Knocked Up in theaters are dinary mid-life crisis or is truly onto something form an almost miraculous bond, but their extreme The fi rst supplement that must be mentioned is no doubt convinced that this fi lm is well worth own- of Biblical proportions. Rated PG for mild rude differences prove to be more diffi cult obstacles than the hilarious and insightful feature commentary with ing. Everyone else needs to check out this DVD and humor and some peril. either had imagined. Judd Apatow, Rogen and Bill Hader. You may actu- get on board. Whether it’s the theatrical cut or one of Knocked Up was defi nitely the sleeper hit of ally laugh more during this commentary than during the unrated editions, Knocked Up makes a wonderful WRONG TURN 2- DEAD END (93 min.) 2007. With a budget of just about $30 million, the the fi lm itself. Throughout the track the guys cut up, addition to a grown up’s fi lm collection. Retired military commander Colonel Dale Murphy (Henry Rollins) hosts the simulated post-apoca- lyptic reality show where participants are chal- celebrate the bear necessities lenged to survive a remote West Virginia waste- land. But the show turns into a nightmarish show- down when each realizes they are being hunted by Jungle Book dvd review an inbred family of cannibals determined to make them all dinner! This release is unrated. BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] RISE- BLOOD HUNTER (122 min.) Yet another Disney classic gets the Platinum Jungle Book is hands down the best you can fi nd. Sadie (Lucy Liu) is an investigative reporter who treatment! Walt Disney’s The Jungle Book celebrates Crystal clear with vibrant, consistent colors, it’s hard th stumbles upon a dark underground cult that is its 40 Anniversary with a special 2-disc Platinum to believe the fi lm is decades old. The Dolby Digital attracting young Los Angeles hipsters while look- Edition DVD and that means a prettier jungle, a bet- 5.1 remix is also a very nice addition for those with ing into a string of murders. While investigating ter soundtrack and a whole lot more than the “Bare home theater systems, bringing this swinging jungle she becomes a victim herself. She awakens in the Necessities” in the extras department! to life right in your living room. morgue, neither dead nor alive, consumed by an The Jungle Book tells the story of Mowgli, a This Platinum Edition includes everything from overwhelmed craving for blood. Meanwhile, De- young boy who was raised by wolves from the time the standard bonus features like interactive games, he was a baby. When his wolf-mother decides its tective Rawlins (Michael Chiklis) is sick with rage music videos, and deleted songs to exciting and time for him to head back to civilization, Mowgli and grief, his only daughter another victim of the sometimes rare commentaries by everyone from runs away so he can continue to live the jungle life. cult. He soon crosses paths with Sadie, and the modern-day animators to Walt Disney himself, multi- He soon meets up with Baloo the bear and that is of ple featurettes about specifi c aspects of the fi lm and two join forces, stopping at nothing until they’ve course when the real fun begins! its production, and a lengthy deleted scene featuring exacted their revenge. Rated R for strong horror My favorite thing about Platinum Edition DVDs lost character Rocky the Rhino. violence and gore, sexuality, nudity, language, and is the often times dramatically enhanced audio and Truly the only way to watch The Jungle Book brainer for any real Disney fan. Pick up your copy brief drug use. video. The picture quality of this version of The in the 21st century, owning this 2-disc DVD is a no- today (or see page 2 to try to win one)!

12 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper lady of the throne The Pirate Queen book review BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] Queen Elizabeth’s reign was so complex that her time as queen has been handled from many different perspectives, some religious, some romantic (as she fended off marriage) and many others. The Pirate Queen by Susan Ronald is a non-fi ction account of Queen Elizabeth and her use of merchant adventurers, men of fortune and outright pirates to build her realm, laying the foun- dations for the British Empire. The detailed narrative covers not just the highlights of history, but delves into historical characters that may not make most history books, but were nonetheless important to the political landscape of the time. We fi nd men such as John Hawkins, the adventurer whose pirating ways and fi nancial suc- cess paved the way for the brilliant Sir Francis Drake. Even once Hawkins steps back from directly adventuring, he looms large in history as a fi nan- cial backer. Elizabeth’s kingdom needed money and these “gentlemen of fortune” could provide her with the booty she needed, taking a percentage of spoils around the slower Armada, makes for thrilling even as she denied giving these pirates her per- reading. One can see why Francis Drake was a mission to sack cities and raid ships. Best of all, national hero, and how pamphleteers made a these raids “annoyed the King of Spain” stripping mint by selling short accounts of his exploits to him of his treasure train from the Americas. the country. Watching Elizabeth’s political maneuverings Ronald doesn’t miss the chance to lay out is almost as thrilling as reading about Drake tak- the exact amounts of vast treasure confi scated ing on the Spanish Armanda. Her “answerless in war, by raids or by taking ships. The numbers, quality family viewing answers” and outright lies seem to be the model and their modern equivalent, will crystallize the most modern politicians follow. You might say that importance of these pirates to her reign. Indeed, she was the fi rst politician. It’s easy to see why without these nationally sanctioned pirates, Phillip II of Spain painted her as a villainess, and Elizabeth would have had to outfi t a much larger Meerkat Manor tv review yet, only her wily politicking, “waging peace as if it dedicated navy. Instead, she simply called upon were war” could have kept England together at the these pirates to do their duty for their country time. after receiving her fi nancial backing. While they BY RICK GRANT [email protected] The book is bound to be confused with a may not have always strictly followed orders, musical of the same name, set during Elizabeth’s they proved to be more cunning and bloodthirsty Out on the Kalahari Desert in South Africa, a leadership, ventures into the Commando’s territory lifetime (her orders actually fi gure into the plot of than their Spanish counterparts, earning the docudrama is in session, seething with intrigue, to find water. The raid is discovered and the Com- the thing). In the musical, the Pirate Queen refers English a well-deserved reputation for villainy on betrayal, jealousy, sibling rivalry, and vicious gos- mandos attack, resulting in a humiliating retreat to a completely different woman, a real Irish pirate. the high seas. sip. And that’s only among the documentary film for Rocketdog’s group, who join back up with the Elizabeth, though history doesn’t record her All in all, the book is a well researched look crew and producer/writers Chris Baker, Anne Som- Whiskers. Food is still hard to find and mass star- as having done any pirating directly, was dubbed at the time, when pirating was a legitimate ca- merfield, and Caroline Hawkings. These creative vation is a real possibility. “the pirate queen” by her nemesis Phillip II. That reer in England. It’s a dense and satisfying read filmmakers spent over a year filming a family of Hope springs eternal when the rains come was among other, not-so-pleasant names designed for those who enjoy unearthing little-known but meerkats, giving them names and writing stories to the Kalahari and suddenly the little insects and to show the ire of the Pope and other international crucial factors in history. that mirrored their actual lives. The result is the ad- worms come to the surface providing a feast for critics. dictive soap opera on Animal Planet called Meerkat the reunited Whisker clan. Despite the book’s pirate focus, religion About the Author Manor–now in its third season. However, trouble is brewing on the horizon. does, inevitably creep in. It has to. This was a Susan Ronald has penned a number of historical The adventures of the Whiskers’ clan is Flower’s two daughters are pregnant. She has to period of time in which battle lines and sides were accounts, including the revered Sauncy Blood endearing and funny family viewing. Long time decide to either let the family grow with new off- determined by Catholicism or Protestantism. To Diamond. While she was born in California, viewers are hooked on the nervous little meerkats spring or ban her two daughters, forcing them to be English meant that one was a Protestant. The she’s lived most of her life on European soil and as they struggle for survival in an unforgiving from their own clan. Ah, such drama unfolds on a threats to Elizabeth’s reign and the twenty assas- has been in England for over twenty years. Im- environment. Flower is the dominant female of the weekly basis in this ongoing meerkat docudrama. sination attempts came from the Catholics of the mersing herself in original sources, she delves clan. Zaphod is her partner and the dominant male. For the third season, Sean Austin nar- world, who wanted Elizabeth’s crown to go to her deeply into history, giving us a sense of the Youssarian is Zaphod’s younger brother. Tosca and rates this kid-friendly series that, by giving the famously Catholic sister, Mary Queen of Scots. characters and personalities who shaped his- Shakespeare are the children of Flower. The meer- meerkats human qualities, helps children relate to Considering all the trouble Catholics gave her, tory. She’s currently working on The Heretic kat melodrama involves fights with arch-rivals the the animal kingdom. The meerkat soap opera is Elizabeth was remarkably tolerant. Queen, which examines the religious angle of Commandos, storms, death, family politics, and the instantly appealing. Just watching these cute crea- Elizabeth manages to keep England in a state Elizabeth’s reign. She, like her father before her, mysterious disappearance of a popular clan mem- tures dart about, then stop and stand on their two of near war with Spain until she is forced to sign was famously excommunicated and the political ber. legs to watch for trouble. The pregnant females are off on Mary’s death, which throws the Catholic landscape was marked by loyalties for or against In recent episodes a splinter group has formed adorable with their fat little bellies sticking out when world into an uproar and compels Philip to fi nally the Catholic Church. For more information on with Rocketdog leading the faction as the dominant they stand on their two hind legs and they can eat act. Ronald’s writing career, projects in progress and female. Times are hard with a drought threaten- an amazing amount of small creatures and insects. Ronald’s accounts of the seaborne battles, general life, take a look at her website, susanro- ing to wreak havoc on the Whisker and Rocketdog Meerkat Manor runs on Friday nights at 9 pm wherein the nimble ships of the English dance nald.com. groups. The splinter group, under Rocketdog’s on Animal Planet. It’s quality family viewing.

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 13 this show sucks... blood Moonlight tv review BY KELLIE ABRAHAMSON [email protected] drama set in a version of the present that happens to have vampires secretly walking among us. Beyond this, modern day logic should apply. And yet, the police chief completely ignores the major news anchors, but is more than willing to chat up a newbie journalist for a tabloid website a la TMZ, even going so far as to allow the intrepid reporter to wander into a crime scene and snap photos of a dead co-ed. Say what? An author writes a book about a convicted murderer without ever interview- ing the arresting offi cer, but somehow manages to get a hold of 50-year-old photographs of the nobody PI working the case. Huh? A 90-year-old vampire Since the demise of Buffy the Vampire Slayer detective, who spends his time hanging out at in 2003 and Angel in 2004, network TV has suffered crime scenes and solving murders, hasn’t changed from a sever lack of vampires. It’s a serious problem his name or appearance to hide his secret after all CBS is attempting to solve with Moonlight, a series these years. Really? I mean, is it so hard to make with a strikingly familiar premise and, it turns out, a the basic, real-life logic work? Apparently so, since whole lot of problems. Moonlight can be seen at 9 both of the episodes that have aired so far have been pm on Fridays. plagued with stuff like this from start to fi nish. In the pilot episode we meet Mick St. John (Alex O’Loughlin), a private investigator who just happens to be a vampire. Over the years, he has been using his special talents (heightened senses, quick refl exes, mega-strength- all thanks to his vampirism) to help mortals. The do-gooder behavior is a bit of an annoyance for Mick’s mentor, Josef (Jason Dohring), a 400-year-old vampire who be- lieves humans are good for food and little else. It’s present day LA when Mick meets Beth Turner (So- phia Myles), an Internet reporter who immediately captures the undead PI’s cold heart. While he deals with his feelings for this mortal woman, Mick must also come to terms with his past and solve heinous crimes along the way. Over the years, I’ve embraced Buffy via early morning reruns on FX, but I’m still not what you would call a huge fan of the show or its spin-off Angel. I do know enough about both, though, to be able to draw some parallels with the newest vam- pire series on the block. It seems the creators were defi nitely enamored with Angel’s premise since the whole vampire detective with a soul thing is almost a carbon copy. Those desperate to fi ll the void that Now, that’s not to say that Moonlight is all Angel’s cancellation left will most likely be thrilled bad. The series has a defi nite fi lm noir feel to it, with Moonlight, which will defi nitely give them their complete with shady characters, a couple of femme vamp fi x each week. Some die-hard Buffyverse fans, fatales and a whole lot of narration from our fanged on the other hand, will probably be sharpening their Philip Marlowe. It’s a nice touch and it works with wooden stakes. The characters just aren’t as strong, the theme. The show also isn’t completely devoid the mysteries of the week are weak and the writing of charm, mostly thanks to Jason Dohring, whose is lacking in a major way. A lot of what people loved three years of playing rich, sarcastic, brooding bad about the Buffyverse shows were the witty banter boy, Logan, on Veronica Mars has primed him for a and the chemistry between the characters. Moonlight role like Josef, the rich, sarcastic, brooding vampire. just doesn’t have much of either. O’Loughlin and The roles are so similar, even down to the hand Myles are not believable as a potential couple, which gestures, that I fi nd myself referring to the character hampers a lot of the pseudo-fl irty dialogue and the as Logan. As a long time fan of Veronica Mars, who real heart of the series as a whole. Without that vam- is still mourning its demise, the snarky familiarity of pire/mortal so-wrong-its-right passion, the show’s Dohring’s performance is more than enough to inter- left with a bunch of crappy mysteries so simplistic est me, at least for a little while. the audience fi gures out whodunit before the end of Despite all of its fl aws, I’ll give Moonlight a the fi rst act. We’ve got enough of those shows on few more episodes before writing it off completely, the air as it is! mostly out of my slightly sick need to see more of With any shows or fi lms that deal with super- Undead Logan, I mean Jason Dohring at nearly any natural creatures, you have to be willing to suspend cost. But, with its Friday night timeslot getting even your disbelief and roll with it and many quality televi- more crowded this week- NBC’s brilliant series sion series’ have gotten me to do just that. With Friday Night Lights just came back and the buzz- Moonlight, not so much. The problem isn’t the vam- generating Women’s Murder Club will premiere on pire thing, I can buy that, it’s that the writers can’t ABC October 12th- I’m not sure how much longer seem to make the non-vampire stuff halfway plau- my loyalty will hold out. Moonlight’s gotta get some sible. The show is supposed to be a mystery/crime teeth soon or it’s losing a space on my TiVo.

14 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper dish. where to eat, drink and be merry.

Heirlooms Bistro page 16 ghetto gourmet | page 16 - 17 heirlooms bistro page 17 caring chef profi le

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 15 BBQ Duck Wonton ghetto gourmet eating out for less than $20 by jon and cassie

When you’re going out with friends it can be especially diffi cult to eat on the cheap. You never know if there will be squabbling over the check and often people try to out-order each other so that everyone can get a chance to try everything. You also don’t want to order so little that you are hungry and staring enviously at the other party’s food. So when you’re going out with friends, do yourself a favor and bring extra money (of course) in graceful dining case of unforeseen circumstances (or opportunities), but it is still possible to keep your bill under $20. Heirlooms Bistro This weekend Cassie and I were meeting up with another couple and BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] they live on Fleming Island on the outskirts of Orange Park in Clay County. You might know Heirlooms Culinary Café and Market, especially if you live in Mandarin. You can Although we both grew up there, we hardly know the area these days for all of the urban get a casual but classy lunch or a dinner chock full of fresh ingredients. Despite the excellence of the sprawling. But I did know that Mellow Mushroom had recently opened a pizza parlor on Fleming meals there, it’s the kind of place you take people for an impressive lunch (not dinner), just to show Island, and pizza is almost always a safe bet to keep your bill under twenty. them that you know where the good places are. Mellow Mushroom has a fun atmosphere. A fun atmosphere can be annoying and, as The owners of this most exquisite café have seen fi t to open up a bistro version of Heirlooms. with every pizza parlor, families with loud children tend to gravitate toward them. But when just Aptly named Heirlooms Bistro, it is more elegant than the original and more suitable for dinner. They’ve getting together for a meal and trying to keep it fairly inexpensive, pizza is perfect. And Mellow set up shop in the Bartram Walk area of Julington Creek at Racetrack Road and San Jose, where the Mushroom tends to make slumming it not seem at all slummy. relatively short-lived Bistro 101 was located. They’ve refi tted the restaurant and the skeleton of Bistro If we weren’t going here for the Ghetto Gourmet article, we may have indulged in some 101’s hip and graceful atmosphere is clothed with their own touches to the décor. The gray-asparagus color of the high-backed booths looks lush surrounding white tabletops and drinking, as Mellow Mushroom has a full bar and some delicious draft beers, but we were with yellow fl owers. It’s an elegant and modern look with lots of wood tones and moss olive walls. Big a non-drinking couple and we were trying to restrain our American tendency to over-order (and windows brighten the space with a view of a fountain and, of course, the expanse of white tables. thus overeat). They’re just kicking off the restaurant at Bartram, and they knew I was coming, so as far as There aren’t many pizza parlors in Jacksonville. Even Pizza Hut doesn’t have many huts left, service goes, I can’t give you an accurate picture. I do know that the staff is enthusiastically vested in but home-town eateries often have the best pizza. Although they cost more than a Domino’s or a what goes on at the restaurant. The waitstaff tries everything from new drink specials to menu items. Papa Johns, they are always worth it. Mellow Mushroom isn’t exactly the greasy little pizza shop I think the slower pace of dinner will be a good thing for Heirlooms, because the food is served not you think of when you think of a neighborhood joint, but the franchises are actually locally owned with an eye toward speed, but with a search for culinary beauty and taste. While it’s great to have both, and their décor is like a hippie’s dream, wrought with 60s and 70s musical icons and a sort of I think the dinnertime atmosphere will give people the chance to appreciate the chefs’ artistry more fully lightweight “psychedelic” theme. than they might have at the Café. Their menu is fantastic. Although their sauce is not as good as a little New York parlor, they Both Heirlooms are owned by Cheryl and Jamey, who have substantial resumes in the culinary more than make up for it with their sweet springwater crusts and their tantalizing selection of world. Among other things, Chef Cheryl Clark, a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America, has run exotic toppings. Take their specialty pies for a spin and you won’t be sorry. We had the Magical an elegant catering business for private clients. Chef Jamey Evoniuk has worked in the industry for about ten years, putting time in at the lovely b.b.’s before opening the fi rst Heirlooms with his wife Mystery Tour. The menu reads: “Pack your bags for this trip! Pesto base, Spinach covered Cheryl. with Mozzarella topped with Portobello and Button Shrooms, Feta and light Jalapenos. Try with Naturally, the food at Heirlooms Bistro is fantastic. A few things from the menu at the Café made chicken or sausage.” Except they let us replace the meat with tomatoes, which was perfect. it over to the Bistro, such as the luxuriant golden lobster bisque and the BBQ duck wonton. Both are When staying under the twenty with gourmet pizza, you just have to adjust size accordingly. worthy selections that deserved to make the leap to the Bistro. None of the tasty sandwiches made it We split a 10-inch pie. That may not seem like much, but with delicious toppings heaped on, it from the Café, but the Bistro just has a different air than the Café, so they had to go. was a fi lling meal. Since the 10-inch Tour is only $11.75, we also ordered soft drinks. Our total One thing they do have is a full bar. The wine list is compact but well chosen with about 15 came to $16.64 before tip. As always, we are gracious tippers because no one deserves it more essential whites, 20 essential reds, a few ports, sparkling wines and a few beer choices. You can mix it than those that put up with all of our demands while handling the very food we are about to eat. up with whatever hard liquor you might like, but one taste of a beautifully amber “the Soprano” Martini But before the tip, our total came in well under the $20 and we all had a terrifi c time. So even in and I was sure that the bartender was some kind of cocktail-shaker-wielding god of all that is tasty and this economy, you can still get out and enjoy yourself. alcoholic. If you’re into sweet specialty martinis, this is the place to sip. Granted, these lovelies are $10 each, but they’re worth it.

16 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper When I got my stacked BBQ Duck Wonton, I was afraid to disturb the tiny tower of culinary comeliness as it sat there looking like a miniature work of gastronomic art. I couldn’t eat around the pretty. The fi rst thrust of my fork destroyed it. I felt a little guilty for doing it, but the guilt evaporated with the sweet, tangy taste of duck and perfect puree of butternut squash. Boursin cheese, tart apples caring chef profi le and a crisp wonton sets this ducky delight apart from the competition. There is defi nitely sweetness to this preparation, so if you like sweet with your meats, this is the appetizer for you. Tyler Brock of Aqua Grill by erin thursby

WHAT: Caring Chefs WHEN: Sunday, Oct. 21st @ 7-9:30 pm WHERE: The Avenues Mall

Caring Chefs, the premier food event of the year here in Jacksonville, is fast approaching. If you haven’t been before, the Avenues Mall is fi lled with booths from some of the best restaurants in and around Jacksonville. With a ticket you can sample from all of them and drink complimentary beverages. All proceeds go to the Children’s Home Society, so ticket holders can have both the satisfaction of helping those less fortunate and of being able to sample food from some of the First Coast’s fi nest restaurants. We’ve been profi ling some of the chefs involved, and this week we’re profi ling Tyler Brock of Aqua Grill in Ponte Vedra.

Why do you participate in Caring Chefs? How many years have you done the event? On a personal level, it’s something I can do to give back to the community. I’ve done Caring Chefs Under salads, I’d dare to recommend fi ve different times with the restaurant. the Ahi Tuna Chop Chop, which seems to be a variation of the popular Asian Chop What are the three ingredients you can’t live without? Chop served at the Café, though you can’t I have a thing for garlic. I love garlic. I even made a garlic ice cream… Fresh, seasonal fruits and really go wrong with any salad selection. vegetables and anything I haven’t worked with before. Entrées run in the $15-30 range, standard for the mid-to-high-end market. Appetizer, entree or dessert? Why? Presentation is outstanding and preparation Appetizer. It’s always the fi rst impression and you can do several of them. You can impress your style is excellent. Try a miso-marinated Chilean on someone. sea bass or a citrus-scented salmon fi let on saffron angel hair and wilted arugula. What’s the strangest dish you’ve ever prepared? More traditionally-minded steak lovers can Champagne sorbet, a garlic ice cream and a wasabi green tea ice cream. go in for a ribeye, a tenderloin or New York Strip Steak. What’s your favorite dish to eat? Prepare? I feasted on the Thai BBQ Pork Chop, My old standby (you can really tell a lot about the person who prepares it) is a simple roast chicken. a substantial portion of bone-in pork chop in an incredible Thai-barbecue sauce, Can you let us in on what you’ll be serving at the event? topped with a sriracha pesto and served We generally serve our peppercorn seared, wasabi marinated ahi tuna. We serve it with a sweet Asian with butternut squash puree and a side of slaw, with a Chinese hot mustard. baby bok choy. In the area of dessert, they’ve got Tickets for the event are $60, but it’s best to buy them in advance since they are generally sold out by a rotating designer cake selection from the night of the event. Go to chsfl .org/buckner to register for tickets or call (904) 493-7739 for more the always fabulous Let Them Eat Cake. info. They’ve also got a few luscious selections Thai BBQ Pork Chop of their own to try, like their chocolate souffl é, tiramisu trifl e and bistro bananas foster. I sampled their impressive bourbon pecan tower, an A++ for presentation and taste, strewn with various fresh fruits and laced with caramel. Heirlooms Bistro opened about a month ago and they’re still getting their legs under them as a restaurant. However, they’re far ahead of most restaurants after only a month of dining service. Rest assured, with chefs like these at the helm, what’s set before you will always be of excellent taste and quality.

Heirlooms Bistro 104 Bartram Walk, Suite 101, zip 32259 (904) 230-3999 Mon-Thurs 4:30-10 pm & Fri-Sat 4:30-11 pm Heirlooms Café 9545 San Jose Blvd (904) 880-2291

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 17 the state of the

jacksonville zoo by donald dusinberre

Through a series of new events and exhibits, the Jacksonville Zoo has recently created inventive new ways to reach out to folks in the community. Whether it’s an event like Brew at the Zoo, the annual Spooktacular or a family sleepover, the Zoo isn’t just a place to store wild animals in hopes that a local family might stop by once a year. It has become an interesting destination for special events as well as a great way to spend a random few hours on a countless number of afternoons. We at EU Jacksonville recently had an opportunity to take a Behind the Scenes tour with Gina Stiles, the Director of Marketing, and Zookeeper Carl, a reptile expert. Both offered us an enormous amount of information about the Jacksonville Zoo and the animals that live there. “We’ve become the largest public garden in Jacksonville, and one of the largest in Northeast Florida,” says Stiles, who goes on to tout the Zoo’s impressive grounds and make the case that the Jacksonville Zoo is truly a fi rst-class institution: “We have over 1400 [animal species] and over 1400 plant species. We’re very much a fi rst-class zoo from that standpoint. We don’t have the acreage that a lot of them have, but I think ours is unique in that we do have gardens throughout the zoo. They’re integrated with the animals. We do the gardens as forecourts to the animal exhibits.” As we learned, the zoo owns 120 acres, with 89 acres developed and used currently. There are plans for a Monsoon Asia area with a Komodo dragon exhibit, restaurants, a plaza, and the much anticipated Asian Botanical Garden along the river. In addition, “During the spring of this next year, we’re going to introduce a new stingray exhibit,” says Stiles. “It’s going to be up all year long, and it might be for two years.” Those new areas, in addition to more parking, will take up the rest of the zoo’s property and increase the ability to impress visitors and draw a more diverse crowd. Stiles says they’ll also be working on ways to help visitors beat the heat. “During the summer months, we struggle because of the heat, but we’re trying to come up with new ways to entice [visitors] to come that will give them respite from the heat along the paths, like sprinklers and…air-conditioned buildings that people can go in all along the way.” All of the new amenities and attractions are wonderful, but this reporter couldn’t keep his mind off the animals. The most important measure of success for the Zoo, any zoo, is the condition of the animals and their habitat. No zoo on the planet can consider itself a viable steward of animals if they’re not doing everything they can to enrich both the lives of the animals it cares for and the visitors who come to see them. Thankfully, Gina Stiles echoed that very point. “We always look for animals that we need in order to keep the species going, to help it survive. We also look at…how many animals live together in one space, and we try to mimic that as much as possible, because we’re trying to give them as natural a habitat, like they have in the wild, as possible. It helps them to live longer and be happier, and that’s what we want.” where the But does the Jacksonville Zoo really take care of their animals? It certainly appears so. The zoo has an onsite hospital that serves all the animals in the zoo except the big four: rhinoceroses, WILD things are the jacksonville zoo and gardens

18 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper elephants, giraffes, and cape buffalo. Of those big four, we learned that the elephants have a state- of-the-art monitoring and care station that they visit daily. The Zoo exercises great care in the construction of the cages, staging areas, and habitats. Zookeeper Carl explains that “In some of the reptile cages, you’ll see they have little hiding areas where they can hide, but people can still see them. If the animal feels like they’re hidden, whether you can see them or not, then they’re a lot more comfortable.” In addition, they mingle many of the breeds that would naturally be found together in the wild in a communal area, yet they also separate some animals of the same species because they come from the same bloodline. They also take care to minimize the stress of being on display. “For instance, not all the same jaguars are on exhibit at the same time. We rotate them around to different exhibits,” says Carl. “We also have some distance; when you go by the Range of the Jaguar, you’ll see the exhibit and the fencing…and then there’s a stand-back area with a little fence that keeps you back from by erin thursby the enclosure. All of that goes into the design of food at the zoo the enclosure, to give the animal room to have its natural existence there.” Any animals that need There are four places in the Jack- extra care are given time to rehab out of public sonville Zoo to catch a bite, from small- view. service walk-up areas to the Palm Plaza. The Jacksonville Zoo is an AZA (Association Play Park is the kid-oriented restaurant. It, of Zoos and Aquariums) accredited zoo. There along with the other food service areas in are many AZA accredited zoos, and most the park, includes a menu of hamburgers, communicate with each other, creating a natural hot dogs and various park fare. degree of quality control. “We normally get If you’re going to eat at the Zoo, why most of our animals from other AZA accredited not try Palm Plaza. Most of the food is facilities,” says Stiles, “and we exchange Mexican, Americanized south-of-the-bor- information to help each other out because der type food, like taco salads and Santa some [zoos] have experts in certain fi elds that Fe chicken. The popcorn shrimp, which we don’t, and vice-versa.” Zookeeper Carl says, veers from the Mex-mix of food, were my “It’s a conglomerate where everybody puts their favorite. These tender morsels of shrimp are served deep-fried with just a tiny Ca- ideas out and helps each other. It’s better for the jun bite to them. The sun-dried tomato and animals. You get better breeding ideas, better basil wraps are stuffed with fresh salad keeping ideas, and that all benefi ts the animals.” fi xings and your choice of ham or turkey. One of the primary reasons we know that the Ever kid-friendly; they also have a kiddie Jacksonville Zoo takes good care of its animals menu that includes tried and true favorites is that they are deeply involved with breeding such as mac & cheese as well as classic programs and Species Survival Plans (SSPs). PB&J. Breeding programs keep track of bloodlines and It’s casual, fast-food, but you can’t species survival plans for the entire country. beat the view at the Palm Plaza. That’s Asked which animals in our zoo are a part of because they have big picture windows looking into the replica temple ruins of the jaguar area. the program, Carl says, “all of the elephants, It’s possible that you could look straight into the eyes of a big cat as you nosh on your tortillas. the rhinoceroses, all of the large mammals are covered by it, all of the apes are covered, even some of the snakes are covered.” In fact, Archie, one of two male rhinos at the Zoo, is “one of the party at the zoo most ‘represented’ rhinoceroses in the country. His babies are in zoos all over the place” “The Zoo prides itself in offering unique options for most all events and works with plan- Not only that, Carl says, “We have the ners based on budgets and group sizes. All catering services are arranged and provided by the largest jaguar holding facility in the country. We Zoo Catering Department.” have seven jaguars…fi ve females and one male There all kinds of areas for after-hours events at the Zoo. Whether it’s a blow-out birthday in this area. We have another male that we just bash, a wedding reception, a corporate team-building event or a child’s party, chances are got.” there’s place on the grounds for your event. Parties from 24-1000 can be accommodated in It’s a relief to learn that the animals are as the various venues all around the Zoo. Many of the venues are outdoor and Sandi Clements, the well cared for here in Jacksonville as they would Jacksonville Zoo’s Catering and Corporate Events Manager, says that the Zoo is booked through be anywhere else. It can also make us proud. Our next spring on Saturdays, mostly with weddings. Jacksonville Zoo is a place that should be visited After-hour facility rental is based on the size of the group, the areas of the park being used, often, and it seems we’re getting more and more menu selections, and special services that are agreed upon with the client. reasons all the time. “The after-hour facility rental price is based on what the size of the group is, what their To learn about the Zoo’s upcoming events, go to jacksonvillezoo.org. 

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 19 

Range of the Jaguar

needs are, what activities are taking place, etcetera, etcetera. Knowing that we are a daytime venue, anything after hours, it costs them to be here. There are no animals on exhibit with the exception of the areas that they are renting from…[us].” says Clements. Private dinners can be arranged in unusual areas like the Elephant Plaza and the Lost Temple. Larger parties are booked in the Range of the Jaguar, Gardens of the Trout River and Shaba Ter- race. After hours activities could include a Behind-the-Scenes fl ashlight tour, private giraffe feed- ings, rides on the Wildlife Carousel or an animal from the education department that are used as Zoo Ambassadors to greet the guest as they arrive. These options depend on cost and feasibility, as well as a number of other factors. The Zoo doesn’t offer party packages as much as it lays out the options available for your budget and needs. They’ve got two certifi ed chefs on staff. The Zoo doesn’t allow outside cater- ing, except for Anthony’s who they hire to pick up an event that they’re simply too booked to handle. Some of the venues can still be booked for daytime events, especially during the week. Mid- week events are often corporate-oriented but mid-week is a great time to plan your event at the Zoo—day or night. Cost can vary widely, depending on what you choose to include, but the daytime picnic packages are extremely reasonable, considering that the cost includes the price of the Zoo ticket. These packages are for 40 guests or more and range from $18.95-$21.95, with even lower costs for kids. a few of the venues the range of the jaguar/the lost temple Located in the Range of the Jaguar, this venue can accommodate up to 40 people. It’s a replica of a Mayan Ruin, set in the midst of wild-life, which can be seen through large windows. View jaguars, anteaters and monkeys as you sip your cocktails and eat your dinner. gardens of trout river The Zoo’s newest garden has a lot of space, so up to 500 people can be seated for a buffet-style meal. The outdoor area, situated right on the Trout River, features Grecian columns, a fountain and beautiful plants. shaba terrace On the second fl oor of the Main Camp building on the way into the Zoo, you’ll fi nd the Shaba Terrace. It’s an open-air venue under a thatched roof. Seating up to 400, this venue features tiki torches and a built in speaker system.

For more info on the other venues and accommodations visit jaxZoo.org and make your next event memorable by holding it at the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens. Call (904) 757-4463 ext. 103.

20 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper a different view of the zoo by kellie abrahamson behind-the-scenes tours Over 600,000 people visit the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens each year, but few have gotten the VIP treatment with their unique behind-the-scenes tours. With around 120 acres to explore, there’s plenty to see and the Zoo staff wants to give you a chance to see just about all of it. You have a couple of options if you want to check out what goes down “backstage” at the Zoo. One way to get a small glimpse is to take advantage of their free Animal Hospital tours, held each weekend at 11 am and 1 pm. Groups meet at the Discovery Center in the Play Park and head over to the Hospital, where nearly all of the over 1,400 animals at the Zoo are treated (the exceptions being the elephants, rhinos, giraffes and Cape buffalo, who simply don’t fi t in the facility). Large picture windows allow guests to get a look at the laboratory, the operating room, the receiving area and the radiology room. The building is also outfi tted with televisions so that procedures can be fi lmed and showed to guests while they are happening, should one be in progress while the tour is coming by. Another way to get a different view of the Zoo is to take a ride on the train. For just $4 for adults and $2 for kids, visitors can hop aboard and go from station to station, learning fun facts about animals and exhibits along the way thanks to the knowledgeable conductors. The tickets are good all day, so you can take the whole tour all at once or disembark at one of the two stops, explore a bit and continue your train ride when ready. This is a particularly appealing option to families with small children, who 

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 21 

the wild things by hilary johnson young professionals get involved

Going to the Zoo no longer has to be only for families and children. The Wild Things, a group of young professionals in Jacksonville, is dedicating time and energy to change all that. The Wild Things came together in hopes of increasing interest and awareness of Jacksonville’s Zoo and Gardens as a desirable destination for young professionals. It will work to raise funds for the Zoo while advocating its educational and cultural ben- efi ts. “As young professionals seeking ways to plug into the community, we felt the Zoo was a great organization for families, but most of our peers were unaware just how much it has evolved since their last visit - which was in grade school for many,” says Barrett Cook, an original member of The Wild Things. “It’s no longer simply a collection of animals in cages, but rather an environment in which animal encounters, educational opportunities and cultural discoveries all contribute to a very rewarding experience.” Still a relatively new, underdeveloped organization, The Wild Things is just begin- will thrill at the ride while the grown ups get a chance to learn a little something while taking a well de- served rest. Trains run all day, everyday should the weather cooperate. ning the process of promoting the Jacksonville Zoo. As of now, there are no offi cial The fi nal and arguably best way to see the inner workings of the Jacksonville Zoo is to take a members of the group, just a collective of people who have come together in a com- personal Behind-the-Scenes tour with one of the facility’s zookeepers. Groups of 6 or more (the maxi- mon interest. mum being 15) can get an up-close look at some of the most popular animals and their habitats with So far the group has only hosted two events, both Brews at the Zoo. The initial this special walking tour. Along the way, your zookeeper guide will talk about each exhibit, sharing their event was held in March of 2007 to determine the amount of support and interest in personal experiences with the animals and some of the more interesting facts, and will answer any questions your party has. This unique experience is $25 per person, which includes park admission. The Wild Things, and the turnout was remarkable, attended by nearly 160 people. From Reservations are required at least two weeks in advance and tours are scheduled from noon to 4 pm. there, The Wild Things hosted a second Brew at the Zoo fundraiser that was attended by Call (904) 757-4463 extension 103 to schedule your tour today! over 300 people, and interest in this group continues to grow. I’ve been to the Zoo several times over the past few years, but I fi nally got a chance to take a Due to the amount of participation and encouragement this group has received, Behind-the-Scenes tour last week with a friend. We followed the train tracks at the beginning, our zoo- The Wild Things is currently in the process of putting together a Board of Directors. keeper, Carl, pausing here and there to share stories and explain why habitats are a certain way and where specifi c animals came from. For the most part, Zookeeper Carl knew each animal by name and That meeting is scheduled for mid-October and will also be a time for the group to fur- a little about their history. Some things I already knew, since my family and I have taken the train ride ther defi ne the exact role Wild Things wishes to play in the Jacksonville community. nearly every time we visit the Zoo (my son’s a train freak), but the big difference here was that Zoo- One thing Wild Things wishes to enhance within Jacksonville’s community is keeper Carl had time to go into a lot more detail and could answer any questions that popped into my awareness of what is happening with the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens. head. After following the tracks for a while- during which time we learned, among other things, that one “A stunning new garden venue has just opened, the Gardens at Trout River Plaza, of the elephants throws rocks quite accurately, giraffes have 18-inch blue tongues and jaguars can drag 5 gallon buckets through a chain length fence- we headed over to the Animal Hospital, the Education with scenic views of the Trout River,” says Cook. “This garden is an entryway to further Campus and the future site for the Asian Gardens before fi nishing up in the Wild Florida area. By the end gardens’ expansion and further animal exhibits.” of our tour, we joked with Zookeeper Carl like we were old friends and knew a lot more about the Zoo The Zoo is also close to breaking ground on a one-and-a-half acre Asian Gardens, and its animals then when we came in. which will go hand in hand with the upcoming Asian animal exhibit. A Komodo Dragon The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens is a fun way to spend an afternoon with the family, but to really Exhibit is set to open in 2009 and will be the fi rst Asian animal on display. get the most out of your visit, be sure to take advantage of the Behind-the-Scenes offerings available to you. If you still want more, get the VIP treatment and schedule a personal tour. It’s truly a remarkable For October, the seven night Spooktacular will offer Halloween themed activities experience that you won’t soon forget. for Zoo guests in the evenings. Next March will feature a long-term temporary display called “Sting Ray Bay” and on April 12th the ExZOOberation will host a live animal auc- tion. The Wild Things hope to promote the many benefi ts the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens can offer people of all ages, especially young adults who possibly otherwise would not consider the Zoo an applicable part of Jacksonville’s culture. The group of- fers an opportunity for social networking, leadership skills development, and volunteer opportunities. Wild Things members will also have fi rst hand access to the signifi cant efforts of the Zoo’s breeding and conservation programs. But young adults can also benefi t from The Wild Things by attending and participating in events hosted by the group, as well. The Zoo offers something for everyone from a cultural and educational standpoint. No one is too young or too old to appreciate what Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens has to offer. The Wild Things is working hard to make that known, and to offer an outlet for involvement within the community of Jacksonville’s young professionals. For more information on how to become involved in The Wild Things, contact Ly- nette Horwath at (904) 757-4463 Ext. 490 or [email protected].

22 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper children visiting the Zoo may also be spending some time in the classroom at the facility’s Education Campus. “We have a wonderful campus that gives us the fl exibility to accommodate large groups or be intimate with small groups,” said Whitney. “A lot of teachers who are bringing out their entire block of grades think that they have to split their group up into several different times during their fi eld trip visit… [but] we actually have four classrooms and an auditorium, so we can accommodate about 150 to 170 students each hour.” So, what exactly will the kids be learning? That all depends on their grade level and which of the presentations their teacher chooses. Preschool through Fifth Grade students can experience something in the “Animal Life Series,” where wee ones could be taught about animal sense or adaptations, while older kids get the skinny on animal behavior and endangered species. Fourth through Twelfth Graders have access to the “Habitat Series,” where they’ll learn about rainforests or ecosystems. The “Scientist Series” will get into anatomy or the care of animals in captivity and is designed for kids in Sixth through Twelfth Grade. All audiences could get something out of the “Zoo Quest Series,” where kids can learn about zoo careers. “We also have home school programs for the over seven thousand families that are registered home school families along the First Coast,” Whitney said, referring to the monthly programs designed specifi cally for kids ages 6 to 17 who are home schooled. There are far too many presentations within each series to list here so if you’re a teacher or a home educator interested in booking a fi eld trip or class, please contact the Education Department at (904) 757- 4463, ext. 122. But wait, there’s more! Families and adults certainly aren’t left out of the Zoo fun. “We have family workshops that we offer on Sunday afternoons from 2 to 4,” Whitney explained. “Minimum age is 6 years old and up but we actually also have adults that will come and participate in those programs. We also have horticulture classes, which is something new offered through the Horticulture Department and those are more geared toward an adult lecture series with a variety of guest something for speakers that address specifi c horticulture issues such as palms, orchids, water gardening. There’s actually a variety of things. Depending upon your interests, we have something for everyone.” With about 90,000 students coming to the Zoo each year on fi eld trips, and another 60,000 participating in their wonderful programs, the Education Department at the Jacksonville Zoo is hard at everyone by kellie abrahamson work, ensuring your kids walk away with more than memories of animals in their habitats. They want the next generation to have the tools to become the responsible stewards of the future and their wide variety zoo education programs of engaging educational programs is a great start.

There’s a good chance that if you live on the First Coast and have kids, at some point in their school career they’ll be taking a fi eld trip to the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens. What you may not realize is just how much their fi eld trip to the Zoo may differ from the one you remember from your childhood. The Education Department is making sure kids walk away with a smile on their faces and a whole lot more knowledge in their adorable little heads. “Our broad, over-reaching goal is to inspire everyone within our reach to take positive action to protect wildlife and wild places,” said Kelliann Whitney, Director of Education at the Jacksonville Zoo, who graciously gave EU a few minutes of her time last week. Whitney has been with the Zoo for nearly 8 years and has found that, despite the tens of thousands of kids who come there each year for fi eld trips, her department is still a bit of a secret within the community. “I still run into people who don’t realize that there is an Education Department at the Zoo and all the programs that are available,” she explains. “People know of the Zoo but many who haven’t visited the Zoo recently are completely unaware of all the changes that have taken place here and the emphasis on education.” In addition to gawking at wild animals, which is the only thing I remember from my fi eld trips, school

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 23 conner’s a-maize-ing

acres by donald dusinberre

I wish there were more wholesome things in the world that made me as happy as I was when I visited my fi rst corn maze. I thought corn mazes were only in Iowa and Oklahoma, but lucky for us, we have one right here in North Florida. Fall is my favorite season, and having grown up in Western New York, I miss the colorful leaves, brisk wind and cool evenings with an orange glow. Here in Florida, those things don’t usually come until after Thanksgiving, if at all. Conner’s A-Maize-Ing Acres is a wonderful place. Amazing even. They’ve set up just about everything you and your kids need to get into the autumn spirit. Obviously, they’ve got a maze carved through a cornfi eld. Each year features a new and different design, and this year boasts an impressive Noah’s Ark design. The maze is a full eight acres, and trust me, it’s big. You can’t really see where you’re going, which makes it as authentic as can be and fun, too. If you want to expedite your trip through the maze, then brush up on your knowledge of the Bible’s story of Noah’s Ark. There are trivia questions posted along the paths that will point you in the right direction if you know the answers. Don’t worry though, even if you’re not a studious Christian you’ll still fi nd your way through with a little prayer and determination. Conner’s A-Maize-Ing Acres offers many more fun activities for the family. Kids and adults can ride the Cow Train, play on the haystacks, race the pedal go-karts, play on the playground and go for a hayride. There’s a General Store with craft items and a Feed Trough with beverages, hamburgers, fries, wings and pulled pork sandwiches (which are really delicious, by the way). They also have a Pumpkin Patch full of Navajo pumpkins and gourds, with 25 percent of the sales going to cancer research at Nemours Children’s Hospital. The hayride is a trip in itself, as it takes riders to many features of the 40 acres that can’t otherwise be experienced. It ventures past the fi eld with vegetables planted for the hungry, which will be harvested around November 3rd and yield collards, cabbage, broccoli, caulifl ower, and lettuce. They also stop at the petting zoo in the barn and the hydroponic garden, which has strawberries for you to pick. The Conners call their hydroponic garden “bi-organic”, which means that the fruit is grown organically, but due to the expensive and extensive process for organic registration, they can’t really call it “Organic.” They believe they have a responsibility to the public to produce food that is as clean and natural as God intended. God has made strawberries, but man has made pesticides. We don’t know for sure what our creation will do to us over the long term, but we do know that God’s creation is safe for us. This is the fi fth year that Conner’s A-Maize-Ing Acres has offered us a classic fall afternoon, and I believe that they’ve become much more valuable to the area since they started. Before they opened the A-Maize-Ing Acres, the Conners raised chickens for Tyson, but now their farm nourishes more than the body. Take the opportunity on one of the upcoming fall weekends to boost your spirits. Conner’s A-Maize-Ing Acres will be open through November 24th, which is Thanksgiving weekend. They are open to the public on Saturdays from 10 am to dark thirty, and open Monday through Friday to fi eld trips and other reserved groups from 10 am to 2 pm. Visit their website at connerscornfi eldmaze.com.

24 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper the black kids the black kids live music shows calendar

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 11 Pianist Tim Nold Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach (249-9981) Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) John McMillan Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299) Big Engine Box Seats, Jax (908-7328) Von Barlow Springfi eld Station, Jax Open Mic w/Krank Shaft Overtime Sports Bar, Jax (786-5466) Target X Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181) photo courtesy of joey marchy - www.urbanjacksonville.info photo courtesy of joey marchy - www.urbanjacksonville.info Mike Sweet & Friends Kingshead Pub, St. Augustine Bill Rice Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra ing on the crowd, even prompting the scene kids to Sweet Low Down Aroma’s, Jax (928-0515) black kids bring it home clap. And gasp! They did! Owen Holmes’ usual bass Out of Hand Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999) genius was also present with Kevin Snow holding it all together. Park Street Band Ragusa, Jax (443-7888) Next up was Low-Fi-Fnk, the duo from Stock- Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) Black Kids & Lo Fi Fnk at TSI holm, Sweden. Not bad, but not great. I might have Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004) been impressed if they opened, but my bar had been Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359-0001) BY CHRISTINA WAGNER raised by the Black Kids’ performance. Although a blatant rip-off of New Order, I was drawn in by the David Milam Shannon’s Irish Pub, Green Cove I’m reluctantly working on my birthday eve and morning’s light/ It’s not me, it’s you.” You’ve gotta velvety smooth voice that somehow made it through Springs (230-9670) it feels like 200 degrees packed inside TSI. I started love someone who has the balls to sing something the bass-thumping organized chaos. Blend three Cloud 9 Twisted Martini, Ponte Vedra off the night right by mistaking Kevin’s brother, for like that. The hooks are about as addictive as the live parts catchy well-written disco pop and one part gay Wes Cobb Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) well, Kevin (Snow, the drummer). Feeling like a total performance itself. Youngblood commands the audi- bar music. Manatella Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) jackass I make a bee-line toward the bar and wait for ence to, “Dance, Dance Dance!” The best was Reggie’s little peep show: his the magic to happen. It seems like yesterday when Black Kids shot up to underground stardom fol- zipper was down the entire set. I wonder if it was Cornerstone The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) Reggie Youngblood was jamming with a Christian lowing their performance at the Athens Popfest, and intentional. Rock stars. Ron Rodriguez Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) ska band in one corner and Owen Holmes was the excitement doesn’t seem to be slowing down 3 Eddie Bahamas, Jax Beach (241-3138) rocking the bass in a sweet blue mohawk with the anytime soon. With a song on BBC Radio 1, an 8.4 Christian pop punk band Lugnut in the other corner. rating from Pitchfork Media and a sold out upcoming Little Green Men West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131) Fast forward to now and we have a very different CMJ performance, Black Kids seem to be entering Freeze Frame Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) scenario. a very busy and exciting year and I can’t think of a Ghostwitch House of Jam, Mandarin (262-3377) A wall of energy erupted off the stage from the group of people that deserve it more. Charlie Walker Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) fi rst chord and maintained throughout the entire set, With what seems to be a new trend, their cur- boasting more stamina than a Ron Jeremy porno. rent EP, Wizard of Ahhhs, is available for download Open Mic w/Ron Perry Tailgaters, Green Cove Well, almost. It would be easy to compare Young- on myspace.com/blackkidsrock. The recorded stuff Springs (529-1976) blood’s vocals to Robert Smith, but there’s so much is well mixed, but the real treat is the live show with Dirty Dozen Brass Band Freebird Live, Jax Beach more to it. With witty lyrics like, “It’s quite all right, Dawn Watley and Ali Youngblood on the keys side by (246-2473) you can stay the night/ But please be gone by next side, almost like the modern day Motown girls, egg- Sweet Little Ditty Spare Time, Jax Beach The Tropics Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) Blue Sage Shoes Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113) Ocean Waves Band Ragtime Tavern, Neptune Beach (241-7877) Stu Weaver Coffee Roasters, Jax Heartstrings Kingfi sh Grill, St. Augustine (824-2111) Ace Winn The Melting Pot, Jax Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359-0001)

THURSDAY-SUNDAY, OCT. 11-13 The Committee A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12 Alice in Chains Plush, Jax (743-1845) Nate Holley Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Bernard, Shangrala Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807) Steve Vest Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) Your Place, Jax Beach (221-9994) Something Distant Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (249-9595)

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 25 Does It Matter Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) the explicits the heart attacks Amaru Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) Feel the Love St. Johns Town Center, Jax Nighthawks Mojo’s Kitchen, Jax Beach (247-6636) Madison Fadeout Rebar, Jax Beach Buenos Jenkins the 3rd Starlite Café, Jax (356-4444) Silver Lake Drive Steamboat Willie’s, Palatka Mystic Dino Ocean 60, Atlantic Beach (247-0060) Tiffany Lee Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) Split Tone Spare Time, Jax Beach Freeze Frame Aroma’s, Ponte Vedra (280-2525) Rick Arcusa Band The Landing, Jax Lisa & the Madhatters Cliff’s, Jax (645-5162) Hellespont The Village Saloon, Orange Park Scenic Void Yesterdays, Jax (387-0502) Poncho Villa Doozers Pub, Jax Rebecca Zapen Casa Monica, St. Augustine Mike Gottuso Mandarin Cigar Co., Mandarin Larry Mangum Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) Thee Crucials TSI, Jax (635-3024) Los Angeles Guitar Quartet Church of the Good Shepherd, Jax my monday was jacked some hate mail coming my way, so I won’t even talk Manna Zen Bourbon Street, Jax (641-8777) about their clothes. Blue Sage Shoes Kingfi sh Grill, St. Augustine (824-2111) My complaint wasn’t just with the singer. I think the rest of The Livewire Boys could use some Kenhe The Homestead, Jax Beach The Explicits at Jack Rabbits work. At their core, they’re a local band with great Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine potential, but right now, they’re coming off as a high- (824-9317) BY ERIN THURSBY [email protected] school act. What they do have is an ability to write Heffner On the Rocks, Jax (685-5268) some catchy tunes, they just lack a bit on the execu- Crystal Bessels Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) Back at Jack Rabbits again. This time on a all the usual crushing metal, intense guitar and the tion. I’d like to see the band again in a few years. Monday night. The line-up was promising: one band musical chops to pull it off. With an occasional bit of After The Livewire Boys, the crowd got a dose Lorenzo & the Allstars West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131) I’m a fan of (The Heart Attacks), one that I had heard screamo harmony, most of the vocals are done by of The Heart Attacks. I friggin’ love them already Clayton Bush Pauly’s Pizza, Jax (727-9101) good things about (The Explicits), one who was only Renee Phoenix. She’s backed by incredible drums and think they give a helluva show. Before I move Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515) familiar to me because I’d heard the name locally and she herself is a demon on the guitar. Their bass on to the music, I just need to take a moment and Sly Poonce Crazy Horse, Orange Park (213-0606) (The Livewire Boys) and of course, The Vibrators. player is no slouch either. Overall, the Florida trio im- talk about their tiny little asses. They all wear these Not bad at all. Especially for a Monday. I can’t think pressed me, and they’ve only been playing together tight, low-slung, black, metal encrusted pants, which Danka Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) of any other place in town that has a line-up that for a year. showcase their assets. They’re all cute as heck and The Impediments Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine good on a Monday night. The lead singer of The Livewire Boys began his they have great hair. I’m jealous. (829-6113) The night opened with the gutter-punk stylings set by setting a hand far on his mid-back and shoot- Okay, so, the music, right. It’s a blend of clas- of The Explicits. In a total switch of the norm, these ing his chest forward, in a sideways near-bow as he sic 1950s-70s stuff and hardcore punk. They tend guys don’t have a male lead singer that sounds like sang. He also worked his microphone cable around to remind people of the Ramones. Shades of early FRIDAY-SATURDAY, OCT. 12-13 a chick. They have the reverse. A female lead that his neck at some point during the set and later began punk, rock ‘n roll and a glam band look typify this Cheshire Cats Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine sounds like a dude. A dude who happens to con- to periodically mess-up his own hair anytime he Georgia band. I did think the stage-left microphone (829-9336) stantly drink liquor, smoke eighteen to twenty packs wasn’t doing anything else. It’s possible that all this could have been turned up more for their set, but, all Lift The Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) of smokes a day and is really angry. They’ve got was a cultivated irony. It may have been, but it didn’t in all, The Heart Attacks did not disappoint. come off that way. It came off as someone trying The majority of the crowd was there to see Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940) waaaay too hard to be rock ‘n roll. They were by The Vibrators, of course. They had the last set of Driven Players Grille, Orange Park (264-4633) far the most pop-oriented band of the night (which I the night. If you don’t know them (and you should, BayStreet Fionn’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) enjoy) but the singer’s melody was just plain off. because they’ve been around forever) they’re an Dueling Pianos Dick’s Wings/Tinseltown, Jax “Mick Jagger can pull off stuff like that, but not old-school UK punk band. I’d wager to say that The this kid,” said my newfound club buddy, rolling her Vibrators have been around longer than most of the Out of Hand Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181) eyes. kids who watched them at Jack Rabbits have been Roger That Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999) I don’t think the small group of devoted fans at alive. Yankee Slickers Brewsters Pub, Jax (223-9850) the foot of the stage would agree with me. I sense It was a damn good time, Monday night or not. Jay Garrett Band Tailgaters, Green Cove Springs (529-1976) Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) Big Engine Square One, Jax (306-9004)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13 Caribbean Festival-Diario Vivir, Slice Intl. Metro Park, Jax Clint Black Florida Theatre, Jax Ashford & Simpson The Ritz Theatre, Jax Rock To Read Benefi t-Shawn Fisher, Rest Assured, UNF, Jax In Loving Memory, Soapbox Havoc & More Robby Schenck Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) Michael Franti & Spearhead Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473)

26 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper George Aspinal, Kai Alece, Those Guys The Landing, Jax making dreams Area 51 Palatka Music Center, Palatka Retardobot Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Apple Blossoms Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) Sly Poonce Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) come true Chuck Nash Latitudes, Jax Beach (247-6606) Gypsy Highway St. Johns Town Center, Jax interview with Laura Bryna Helioseye, Dubwise Yesterdays, Jax (387-0502) Von Barlow Springfi eld Station, Jax BY RICK GRANT [email protected] Johari Shantytown, Jax WHAT: Laura Bryna opening for Clint Black A-Wish foundation for a John Gorka Café Eleven, St. Augustine (460-9311) WHEN: October 13th @ 8 pm long time. Does working Kalus Club Fusion, St. Augustine (829-8333) WHERE: Florida Theatre with these kids give you Whaleface Landshark Café, Atlantic Beach (246-6024) satisfaction, joy and a Living her dream, Laura Bryna has made the sense of being grounded in The Jamdown Alliance San Sebastian Winery, St. Augustine right moves to secure a place in country music. the real world? Dar Williams DVD Pre Release House of Jam, Wisely, she moved to Nashville and enrolled at Bel- LB: Yes, it’s my passion Mandarin (262-3377) mont College while working as an intern at Sony Tree that got started when my Kings of Hell Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) Publishing and later DreamWorks Publishing. This brother got sick with a brain Jim McKabba Trio Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine helped Laura learn about the music business. More aneurism. I would see him in (829-6113) signifi cantly, Laura continued her involvement with a coma and think there must Lady Daisey Starlite Café, Jax (356-4444) the Make-A-Wish foundation, helping chronically ill be something I can do for kids realize their own dreams. Laura was inspired other chronically ill kids. So, LB: I did some of that, but I mainly concentrated on Billy Buchanan University of St. Augustine, St. Augustine to help others when her 13-year old brother suf- now I think of the kids like Jerry Lewis thinks of his perfecting my voice and learning music. One thing Johnny Flood Sliders, Fernandina Beach fered a brain aneurism that left him in a coma for six work with the Muscular Dystrophy organization. I call led to another and I was blessed to meet Clint Black Bill Rice Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) months. them ‘my kids.’ It’s an inspiration for my music. who liked my voice and style. Laura’s burning ambition to be a country artist Brian Turner & Rip Tide Eddie Bahamas, Jax Beach (241-3138) was tempered by her involvement with the Make-A- EU: When you went to Nashville did you struggle EU: How has hooking up with an all-time legend of Wish organization, where she met many friends and before you were signed to a record deal? country music like Clint Black been for you? Farless, Red Letter Bullet Murray Hill Theatre, Jax celebrities. This altruistic work inspired her to write LB: Well, I always wanted to learn as much as I can LB: It’s so amazing. He has been so nice and such (388-7807) the song ‘Make A Wish,’ which appears on her debut about the things I’m interested in, so I enrolled in a great mentor. He has taken me under his wing and Jim Brady Kingfi sh Grill, St. Augustine (824-2111) CD, to be released in January 2008. Recently, Laura Belmont College to learn about the music business showed me how everything worked and what and Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) scored a major coup by being invited to tour with –the inside out of the business. I did a couple of what not to expect. Wow, I was really fortunate when Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine Clint Black on his Up-Close-and-Personal tour. She internships. What better way to meet people and be Clint liked my singing and signed me to his record (824-9317) will be performing with Clint at the Florida Theatre on in touch with the business? There I made many con- label and invited me to tour with him. I have to pinch October 13th. tacts that helped me get ahead. myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. This tour has Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855) Last Wednesday, I chatted with Laura about her been exciting. I’ve had a great year. I’ve opened for Larry Mangum, Lee Hunter, Drew Dixon European rising career as a performer and recording her debut EU: So how did the classes and internships lead EmmyLou Harris, Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Broth- Street/Beach, Jax album on Equity Records, owned by Clint Black. Dur- you into being a country artist? ers. And now, I’m opening for Clint Black. Wow! Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza Grill, ing our confab, we talked about the wise decisions LB: I always had the dream–it had to be Nashville– Jax (287-9900) that brought her to Clint Black’s attention. the songwriting capitol of the world. Here [in Nash- With a debut album to be released in January, ville] I could immerse myself in the whole scene, 2008 on Equity Records, and a busy tour with Clint EU: Did you write the songs on this album? learn the business and how everything worked. I Black, Laura Bryna has blasted off the launch pad SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14 Laura Bryna: No, only ‘Make a Wish.’ For now, all practiced and I learned as much as I could. Then all into the vast realm of country music with its legions Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471-5555) of artists competing for die-hard country fans’ atten- my material is written by other artists. However, I’m that led me to the right people, and here I am. Dan Shepherd Harpoon Louie’s, Jax (389-5631) getting more into songwriting. tion. While talking to Laura, I could feel her powerful EU: Did you play out in the regional scene before positive energy which will send her into the highest Isaac Byrd Jr. De Real Ting Café, Jax EU: I know you have been working with the Make- getting signed? regions of country stardom. Stephen Marley Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) Innerfazed Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Flashback Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113) Sugar Bear The Landing, Jax Tarik Hassan Sahara Café, Jax David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Milkweed Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) Colton McKenna Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) Chelsea Saddler Tiajuana Flats, Atlantic Beach (242-0234) Michael Funge Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (249-9595) LeMonde St. Johns Town Center, Jax Jimmy Parrish Carib Key, Jax Beach (270-8940) Soulo Kingfi sh Grill, St. Augustine (824-2111) Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) Susie Kite Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) 3rd Bass The Casbah, Jax (981-9966) El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004) Jan Crawford & Friends Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 27 MONDAY, OCTOBER 15 Joey Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) Charlie Walker Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Sam Pacetti The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) country at Matt Still Gingers, Jax Beach Lary Smith Harmonious Monks, Jax (886-3040) Band of Destiny Square One, Jax (306-9004) Air Force Academy Band The Amphitheatre, St. Augustine Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) the fair Goliath & Dorian Lopez Casbah, Jax (981-9966) B-Side Players Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) interview with Luke Bryan TUESDAY, OCTOBER 16 Second String Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221) BY RICK GRANT [email protected] Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) Christina Wagner & Friends Mark’s Downtown, Jax WHAT: Luke Bryan Bryan said in his genuine “aw- (355-5099) WHERE: Greater Jacksonville Agricultural Fair shucks” attitude. Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) WHEN: October 31st Now, just after the Shawn Lightfoot London Bridge, Jax (359-0001) release of his debut album, I’ll Dave Massey Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) Luke Bryan logged fifteen years of paying Stay Me, on Capitol Records Those Guys Hurricane Patty’s, St. Augustine (827-1822) dues before his big break signing with Capitol Nashville, Bryan’s original Scenic Void Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) Records Nashville. He had an interesting music started to generate hits background–working on his parents’ farm while for this engaging, laid-back Jim Brady Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113) learning to play guitar. singer/songwriter. Bryan’s first Ron Perry Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) “I got my first guitar at 14 and at 15 I was single ‘All My Friends Say,’ Out of Hand Palace Saloon, Fernandina Beach playing in my first band. From there, I continued caused quite a stir on the Bill Rice Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) to tour around playing gigs in clubs and bars,” Country Radio circuit, making Mystic Dino Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181) said Bryan when EU spoke to him from his tour many top twenty playlists. Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax bus on the road. Billboard mentioned Bryan Armed with a fist full of potential hit songs as the “one to watch” in 2007. By then, Bryan farm, Bryan knows what real work is like. Jimmy Solari My Place, Jax (737-5299) and the confidence that he would be able to get was already receiving heavy media attention “Lifting bags of fertilizer and hauling Seth Ramsdill Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) the right people to hear them, Bryan headed to and, along with his lead guitarist and buddy, peanut wagons is work, playing music, doing Ron Perry Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) country music’s top city. he formed a band and hit the road. Bryan has interviews, and playing for fun crowds is a joy. El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004) “To me it was a fun time, but then I moved stayed close to his roots as a farm boy from I’ll never consider playing music a job.” Nashville and it got serious.” Leesburg, Georgia, writing catchy, simple songs Unlike many that pursue a career in In most cases, there are 15 years of about his life. professional music, Bryan doesn’t seem to do it TUESDAY-WED., OCT. 16-17 slugging away playing in bars and clubs before “I’m always thinking ahead about the next for his ego, he does it for the fans. Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143) an artist becomes an “overnight sensation.” album. I get a lot of ideas on the road which “That’s why I do what I do. Fans are “I’m certainly blessed. And yes, I write my lead to new songs. I have large catalog+ of everything. I spend a lot of time talking to my own music and use a few covers now and then. songs, and I’m writing new ones all the time. fans and they’re the reason I got into music. WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17 10 out of the 11 songs on the album are mine,” I’m already thinking of the next album, so Without them I’d be nothing.” Mr. Beam Casa Marina, Jax Beach (270-0025) that when I get off the road, I can go into the I found Luke to be a likeable young man Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299) studio and record. As you know, you’re only who has made the right moves and deserves Rip Tide w/Brian Turner Eddie Bahamas, Jax Beach as good as your last record. So, it’s a constant his success. He’s well grounded and easy to (241-3138) struggle.” talk to. It’s always a pleasure to talk to guys like Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004) Bryan moved to Nashville in 2001. Luke. I have a feeling he will go on to become River City Rebels Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) “Everyday since then has been the best a country legend down the road. Catch Luke Better Half Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113) day of my life.” Bryan’s set live at the Greater Jacksonville Having worked on his parents’ peanut Agricultural Fair on October 31st. Southern Wailers British Pub, St. Augustine Brian Turner & Rip Tide Eddie Bahamas, Jax Beach (241-3138) Eric Dawkins Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Jesse & Leaa Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) Steve Plays Too Loud Cedar River Club, Jax Jodies Fiasco Castillo de Mexico, Jax Set Your Goals Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) Soulo Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396-3396) El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525) Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221) Sidewalk 65 Latitudes, Jax Beach (247-6606) Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737-5299)

28 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper upcoming bernard is back concerts

Dennis DeYoung Oct. 19, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 interview with Jared Chase Bowser Medeski Martin & Wood Oct. 19, Freebird Live, 246-2473 The Hives Oct. 19, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 BY JON BOSWORTH [email protected] Little Richard Sat, Oct.20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 353-3309 Blues Traveler Oct. 20, Freebird Live, 246-2473 WHAT: Bernard and Shangrala one more show. WHERE: Murray Hill Theatre “Once we were all on speaking terms Natalie Cole Oct. 20, Lazzara Performance Hall , UNF Fine Arts Center, 620-2878 WHEN: October 12th again, we decided to do another show. Just for the hell of it. A lot of people didn’t expect Acoustic Alchemy Oct. 23, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 On October 12, 2006, exactly one year ago us to break up, so fans were disappointed. We The Samples Oct. 23, Freebird Live, 246-2473 this Friday, the St. Augustine/Jacksonville indie rock enjoyed playing the songs. No one expected Blueground Undergrass Oct. 24, Freebird Live, 246-2473 band Bernard was playing at Orlando’s Full Sail Live. it to end when it did, and there are a lot of us Had they planned it, that would not have been where that want to enjoy it one more time.” Evanescence Oct. 25, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3303 they would have had their last show. But EU felt it was high time he gave MagnoliaFest with Toots & The Maytals, Donna the Buffalo, “We didn’t know it was going to be our last some explanation for that inexplicable break- Railroad Earth, The Duhks, Bobby Lee Rodgers Band and show, of course,” said Jared Chase Bowser from an up. more Oct. 25–28, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak, Florida, www.magmusic.com unknown outpost in the mountains of Northern Geor- gia. EU: Why did you break up? Sam Bush, Jerry Douglas and Edgar Meyer Oct. 25, Florida “I’m in the northern tip of Georgia with Jeremy Jared Bowser: Basically it was a lack of com- Theatre, 355-2787 Griffi th from Moments in Grace. I’m recording some munication between the band members, which show? Corey Smith Oct. 26, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 music with them. We’re doing the whole campfi re lead to things not working out. It snowballed and got JB: I think Murray Hill is one of the venues that Genitorturers Oct. 26, Freebird Live, 246-2473 and chili in October thing.” pretty bad in that period. Even our friendships didn’t works best with our stuff. They are the biggest music Nada Surf, Sea Wolf October 27, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 Jared plays a variety of musical instruments, exist. For six months we weren’t on speaking terms, venue with a big screen. Tom, who books the The- but in Bernard he spends most of his time on drums. really. atre, was Bernard’s manager, so we enjoy it there. It Monotonix Oct. 28, Club TSI, 424-3531 Jared has played with a number of fantastic locals in works with what we are trying to do. Solid Gold Soul w/Jerry Butler, Gene Chandler, Billy Paul and the year since Bernard inexplicably disbanded on the EU: What brings you back together? The Impressions Oct. 28, TU Center, 353-3309 verge of what looked to everyone around here like JB: Basically the singer, Jonathan, moved out to Bernard and Shangrala will take the stage at Benise “Nights of Fire” Oct. 29, Times Union Center, 632-3373 success. California to co-produce The Myriad, old label-mates Murray Hill Theatre on October 12th. Get there early Kings of Leon Oct. 30, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 “We had some good tours lined up when of ours. He moved back and time healed things and (the Murray Hill Theatre is in the Murray Hill part of we broke up. We had some pretty cool stuff that we decided to play another show, since we had Riverside, near Edgewood and Post) to hear these Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, Plain White T’s, Cute Is happened right before we broke and some stuff in never had a last show. emotive and explosive bands reunite. This spectacle What We Aim For Oct. 30, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 the works. We were poised to do something pretty hasn’t graced the stage in Jacksonville since the Dr. Dog, Delta Spirit, Emily Lacy October 30, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 good.” EU: Will you be performing any new material? Bernard CD release in the same place more than a Ben Harper Nov. 1, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Jared plays with the local rock outfi t Shangrala JB: We’ll be playing new material and stuff that has year ago. Reverend Horton Heat/Hank Williams III Nov. 1, Freebird on occasion and he and Bernard bandmate Ryan Ad- spanned our catalog. Stuff that we haven’t played in “We’ve put more effort into this show than Live, 246-2473 ams have joined forces in the post-rock instrumental three or four years as well as stuff that people have any other in the past. We’re playing a pretty long set, band A Slight Breeze. So he hasn’t spent the last never heard. so everyone will get to hear everything they want to D.L. Hughley Nov. 2, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 year bored, but he and Ryan spent a good long time hear. We’ve brought back old stuff and reworked it Aerial Tribe Nov. 2, Freebird, 246-2473 not even speaking with Bernard front man Jonathan EU: Is Bernard back for good? too. It’ll be pretty cool.” Chris Cornell Nov. 2, Plush, 743-1845 Berlin. After a hiatus from each other, the three re- JB: That’s hard to say. None of us can predict the Widespread Panic November 4, Times Union Center, 353-3309 united and found they missed playing their epic and future, but for now it is going to be one night only at Find out what the deal is with Bernard and cinematic sets. As their “communication problem” the Murray Hill. Shangrala and Bernard’s whole cinema fetish by Trans-Siberian Orchestra Nov. 5, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 became more a part of their history than their pres- reading the complete interview at eujacksonville. David Bazan Nov. 6, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 ent, they broached the idea of getting together for EU: Why Murray Hill Theatre for the comeback com. Badfi sh Nov. 6, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Classic Albums Live - Pink Floyd’s The Wall Nov. 7, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Tallyrand Music Festival W/Spoon, Keller Williams, The Bravery, Pepper, Against Me!, The Polyphonic Spress, Rooney and more Nov. 10, Metro Park Dan Zanes Nov. 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Nickel Creek Nov. 12, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Bob Weir and Ratdog Nov. 14, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Cartel Nov. 14, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Wiggles Nov. 15, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 Slightly Stoopid Nov. 15, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Spill Canvas Nov. 17, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 Planetfest 8 w/ Breaking Benjamin, Finger Eleven, Seether, Sum 41, Drowning Pool, Operator and more, Nov. 17, Metro Park ZoSo Nov. 23, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Jucifer Nov. 23, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 Zoso Nov. 24, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Lalah Hathaway Nov. 24, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 The Electric Six Nov. 24, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 Wynonna Nov. 30, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Kelly Joe Phelps Nov. 30, Café Eleven, 460-9311 Dinosaur Jr. Dec 1, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Nekromantix Dec. 4, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 29 Owens, KRK Ryden, Mark Mothersbaugh, PJ Fidler, culture & arts Tonya Lee, R. Land, Gabriel Shaffer, Joe Coleman, Molly Crabapple, Mitch O’Connell, and Derek Hess, OCTOBER whose piece sold in a private auction on Thursday 11-13 19th Annual El Pescado Billfi sh Tournament Camachee for $10,000. The show also included local artists Ian Cove, St. Augustine Chase, Mark George, Tony Rodrigues and St. Augus- 11-14 381 Days: The Montgomery Bus Boycott Story Ritz Theatre, tine painter David Cutter, among others. Jax From Ian Chase’s very contemporary video- rendering of his bust getting crushed in a press to 11-14 Dinosaurs & Ice Age Mammals MOSH, Jax Kim Gordon’s utterly simplistic black, glittery “X” put 11-19 Exhibit: Recent Works By John Bunker & Suzanne onto the white cast, each artist had a very unique Magee Stellers Gallery, Neptune Beach idea about the message of the show, the cost of 11-21 Heartbreak House Play JU Swisher Theatre, Jax breast cancer, and the value of boobs to the human 11-27 Mystery Dinner Theatre Dave & Buster’s, Jax condition. In fact the Keep A Breast Foundation’s shirts all read “boobies!” Erica Leite admitted that 11-27 Tactile Art Show Art Association, St. Augustine this particular slogan was probably not the most 11-28 “Frankenstein” Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine popular one for the older, more conservative St. Au- 11-31 Breast Defense: Glamour Girls For Early Detection gustine crowd, but the message was hardly under- Gallery at Screen Arts, St. Augustine stated at the event. This art is all about the boobs. 11-NOV. 4 The Cummer Is…Photographs By Ingrid Damiani Cummer Museum, Jax 11-NOV. 7 Edifi ce Beautiful Emposition – Exhibit by Patrick Miko JU Gallery, Jax 11-NOV. 9 Tricking Fish: How & Why Lures Work Exhibit The Lighthouse, St. Augustine Gabriel Shaffer 11-NOV. 25 Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax 11-JAN. 6 Sculptor: Minoru Ohira Exhibit MOCA, Jax 11-FEB. 28 Oh Say Can You See: American Art Cummer on your breast behavior Museum, Jax 12 Rossini & Company-JSO Performing Arts Cetner, Jax 12-14 Les DeMerle Amelia Island Jazz Festival Various Venues, Amelia Island Breast Defense at St. Augustine’s art walk 12-14 “Almost Heaven, Songs of John Denver” FCCJ Wilson Center, Jax BY JON BOSWORTH [email protected] 12-14 Restore Jacksonville Conference 9th & Main, Jax 12-14 7th Annual Greek Festival Special Events Field, St. It has never been so socially acceptable in as Mark Mothersbaugh (formerly of Devo), as well Augustine America to spend your evening looking at breasts. as world-famous artists such as Derek Hess and 13 Buddy Walk Seawalk Pavilion, Jax Beach The art world has always questioned the norms of KRK Ryden. So when the First Friday organizers told 13 Gary Burton Jazz Vibraphone Pioneer Clinic JU Terry society. There have been myriad jokes about being Rob they wanted to do something for Breast Cancer Concert Hall, Jax in an art class to get to paint the naked lady. Ado- Awareness Month, Rob got on the phone and called Attaboy lescent boys have always made their way through up a list of some of his favorite artists and got them 13 National College Fair Prime Osborn Center, Jax museums looking for a glimpse of the mammaries. together with the Keep A Breast Foundation to put on 13 Family River Ride-The Riverkeeper Friendship Park, Jax And “art fi lm” has long been code to many for “soft- a Breast Defense Art Show. The fi rst Breast Defense Each bust was displayed on a pedestal and fea- 13 Okfenokee Festival & Quilt Exhibit Folkston, Georgia core porn.” So although bare breasts are something Art Show happened back in 2001, according to Erica tured a bio of the artist adjacent to their own work. 13 Film Series “Save Our History” Voices of Civil Rights Ritz common in art, how often are they the lusty busts of Leite, one of the founders of the organization. They Many of the artists offered humorous bios. Iggy Pop Theatre, Jax famous burlesque dancers? have done many of them all over the world, but this stated that “sometimes he gets tricked into partici- In the Casa Monica Hotel this past Friday the is North Florida’s fi rst. pating in these charity events.” 14 Sumi-e Ink Painting: Use India Ink, Paper & Bamboo Brushes MOCA, Jax world’s biggest burlesque dancer, Candy Caramelo, Breast Defense started when Erica and the Describing each of these would be nearly came from Las Vegas (via Spain) to St. Augustine to Foundation co-founder, Shaney Jo Darden, went impossible, so you will have to go to The Gallery at 15 12 Girls Band-FCCJ Artist Performing Arts Center, Jax give a local art enthusiast a lap dance. This wasn’t to the Burlesque Hall of Fame in Las Vegas and Screen Arts this week and see them for yourselves 15 Auditions: Eb Scrooge: A Southern Fried Carol 6:30-9pm your everyday party at the swanky Santa Monica made plaster casts of some of the institution’s most before they go on a national tour. The national tour FCCJ Kent Campus, Jax Hotel, this was the Keep A Breast Foundation’s notorious racks. These busts were then sent to the will end in Las Vegas and then the busts will be auc- 15 Auiditons: “Come Blow Your Horn” 7pm Orange Park Breast Defense exhibit brought to the First Friday Art participating artists for their own vision to be ap- tioned off live and online in Los Angeles. Community Theatre, Orange Park Walk in St. Augustine by The Gallery at Screen Arts. plied. Artists in the St. Augustine event included Kim Go to keep-a-breast.org for more informationa 15-17 “e. All of the Above-Benefi t Limelight Theatre, St. Gallery owner Rob DiPiazza has long been ca- Gordon (from Sonic Youth), Iggy Pop, George Long, about the Foundation and the event, or call Screen Augustine sual acquaintances with the likes of such rock icons Gary Baseman, Sarah Emerson, Attaboy, Annie Arts at (904) 826-0000. 16 2nd Annual Oneness of Humanity Celebration FCCJ Kent Campus, Jax 17 Drawing Live Models with Instructor Jonathan Lux MOCA, Jax 18 First Coast Wind Ensemble JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax 18 Art & Music Lecture Series-Greece & the Orpheus Project Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra 18 Author Paul Schneider JU Gooding Auditorium, Jax 18-19 Beloved Brahms-JSO Performing Arts Center, Jax 18-21 Southern Woman’s Show Prime Osborn Center, Jax 18-21 Lucky Stiff Florida School of the Arts, Jax 19 Friday Musicale-Stephen Ng (Tenor) & Michael Rickman (Piano) Friday Musicale, Jax 19 “Brown Bag” Boat Trips-The Riverkeeper The Landing, Jax 19-20 2nd Annual Haunted Forest Halloween Party Catty Shack Ranch, Jax

30 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper surprisingly, many of the artists who are not com- plaining have had their work displayed there. So again, the real question is this: What func- art events tion does MOCA serve in the community? Among many others, Byron King has been hosting this dis- new this week cussion on jaxcal.org for quite some time now. On William Maurer show October 11 – November 10 his blog site, he says, “The question still remains to Opening October 11, 4 pm –7 pm a lot of us, is MOCA Jax really the people’s museum Waterwheel Art, 5047 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach or just the museum of the private collection of Mr. (904) 261-2535 or waterwheelgallery.com Haskell? I have a feeling it’s the latter even though The Art of Dr. Seuss- A Retrospective and National Touring there is... a wonderful show in the local fi fth fl oor Exhibition October 12 – October 29 gallery by James Greene. And I’m not sure if things Opening night reception, October 12, 6 – 9 pm will really ever change until an open dialogue is be- Special Event on Saturday, October 13, 11 am – 8 pm gun by MOCA Jax with the community.” Special Event on Sunday, October 14 from 12 pm – 4 pm He’s right about the open dialogue thing, and R. Roberts Gallery, 3606 St. Johns Avenue, Avondale (904) 388-1188 the community is defi nitely talking. Ever since the Folio printed their interview with George Kinghorn The Trilogy Series Featuring artwork by Leneke’, Sonya (MOCA’s curator), artists and art lovers have been Cox, Louise Cruz & Jennelle Comisky loud on numerous blogs, including jaxcal.org, cre- October 11 – November 9 atejacksonville.com and urbanjacksonville.info. Un- Opening Reception October 11, 5 pm – 8 pm Village Gallery & Framing, 964 Park Avenue, Orange Park fortunately for the discussion, MOCA and Kinghorn are not as animated. ongoing But perhaps they don’t need to be. Maybe we should accept that MOCA’s responsibility to the Flora, Fauna, and Fine Art Presented by the Jacksonville city’s art culture is to bring us outside infl uence. Zoo and Gardens and Fogle Fine Art Shouldn’t someone be reminding us of what’s hap- Featuring Craig Bone, Olivia Marie Braida Chiusano, Laurin McCracken, Carmen Lagos and John Reed pening outside our line of sight? Through October 13 Let’s draw a silly comparison. Let’s say that Fogle Fine Art, 3312 Beach Boulevard you make the best homemade macaroni and cheese (904) 296-1414 or foglefi neart.com this side of the Pecos. No matter how great your macaroni and cheese tastes, Publix isn’t going to Kurt Polkey & Morrison Pierce: Dreaming of Black Mountain Through October 14 let you walk in and put it on the shelf. There are Jane Gray Gallery, 643 Edison Avenue, Riverside other, more appropriate places to sell your special (904) 338-5790 or janegraygallery.com recipe. As Byron King also wrote, “It’s not up to the museum to change the local art scene, but up to us. David Ponsler Sculpture: Bronze, Steel, Copper and Iron Waiting for that blue moon might never come.” Runs through October 14 Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach, 50 Executive Way, Readers: What do you think? Email me at imartsy- Ponte Vedra Beach [email protected] and lets decide this once and (904) 280-0614 or ccpvb.org MOCA for all. Fabulous Fiber Through October 14 Barbara Wroten, Pat Livesay, Cheryl Wencel, Nancy Devereux, Leni Mittelacher, Betty Francis, Sara Barnhill, Diane Hamburg, Melinda Bradshaw, Margot Miller , Katie Schwartz, Lynette Holmes and Caroline Daley First Street Gallery, 216 First Street, Neptune Beach jacksonville: 904-241-6928 Natural Visions: Recent works by John Bunker and Suzanne Magee Opening Reception September 21, 6 pm - 9 pm Through October 19 Stellers Gallery Annex, 200 1st Street, Neptune Beach (904) 247-7200 for the people? Five JU Student Artists Gallery’s 5th Anniversary and Fundraiser for JU Through October 27 Artist Reception October 12, 5:30 pm – 8:30 pm Eclectic Galleries, 2405 3rd Street South, Jacksonville Beach BY DONALD DUSINBERRE [email protected] 904-247-3750 or eclecticgalleries.com Tactile Art Show for Art Beyond Sight Awareness Month MOCA Jacksonville offers our city a unique The artists in Jacksonville are currently in Through Saturday, October 27 St. Augustine Art Association commodity. Nowhere else in Jacksonville can you the midst of an interesting argument, and MOCA Gallery, 22 Marine Street, St. Augustine (904) 824-2310 Jacksonville is the centerpiece. Some of the artists fi nd a substantial collection of artwork from notable The Works of Mary St. Germain & Joyce Gabiou and famous modern artists alongside an ever-chang- believe that MOCA doesn’t do enough for the artists Through October 31 Reddi Arts Gallery, 1037 Hendricks ing display of new works by contemporary artists right here in Jacksonville. They think MOCA should Avenue, San Marco (904) 398-3161 from all over the country. include local art more regularly in their exhibition Instead of reviewing one their recent exhibi- space. Collage et Plus Terese Marie Muller & Sally Cole Moyers Other artists think that MOCA does indeed offer Through October 31 Opening reception Wednesday, October tions, I’d like to talk about the function of MOCA in 3, 5 – 9 pm Karpeles Manuscript Museum, 101 West 1st the community. Don’t worry, I’ll get to the new exhib- enough opportunity to the locals. Many Jacksonville Street, Downtown its soon. artists have had their work on display, including Given the nature of the art they’ve shown Thomas Hager, Ian Chase, Jay Shoots, and most Mikhail Baryshnikov Exhibit Through November 2 in recent history, what can we surmise about our recently, James Greene. In fact, the museum has a J. Johnson Gallery, 177 4th Avenue North, Jacksonville Beach gallery dedicated to local artists, the snazzy named museum? Two things. First, you have to be an open- Photographs by Ingrid Damiani Through November 4 minded kind of person to enjoy its contents. Second, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Florida Education Gallery. Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Avenue, it doesn’t matter what city the museum happens to Yes, they do occasionally display work by local Riverside (904) 356-6857 or cummer.org be in, the art on display would probably be pretty artists, but it’s usually in a fashion that leaves no similar. question as to the work’s geographical origins. Not Patrick Miko: Edifi ce Beautiful Imposition Runs through November 7 Alexander Brest Gallery and Museum at Jacksonville University (904) 256-7345

Fogle Fine Art Gallery Presents: Regions Bank Artist Celebration of Jeanne Pelligreno Through November 30 eujacksonville.com Regions Bank, 1461 Kingsley Avenue, Orange Park

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 31 Greg Leute and Margaret Kaler

bolt-in-the-neck arrives Frankenstein Limelight theatre review native americans BY DICK KEREKES [email protected] Limelight Theatre opened its fi rst main stage has never been given a name. You never see much show of the 2007-2008 season last weekend with of him except for his face and hands as he wears Tim Kelly’s Frankenstein. This adaptation of Mary a monk’s outfi t to cover his scarred body. You will Shelly’s 1816 classic novel of the same name will see the scars on his wrists and face. (Nice stitch job run through October 3lst (Halloween) in the Jou- Victor, you have talent). Most people’s conception of at fccj kowsky Family Foundation Center for the Performing the creature or monster is based on the l931 movie Arts at 11 Old Mission Ave in St. Augustine. with Boris Karloff, which is considered the greatest My research shows this is the fi rst play ever horror movie of all time. Where Karloff was childlike Kevin Locke Native Dance Ensemble at the in this area on the subject of Frankenstein. Believe and grunted a lot with few words spoken, Mr. Kom- me, Frankenstein is hot, hot, hot! A new full scale panchenko’s creature is very articulate and – I hate musical called, what else, Frankenstein opened on to admit this – he probably has a better vocabulary Wilson Center For The Arts Broadway in July. Mel Brooks will be opening his than I have. Victor obviously had good luck in pick- new musical, Son of Frankenstein, and he promises ing up such a good brain during his grave-robbing. WHAT: Kevin Locke Native Dance Ensemble it will be a bigger success than The Producers. More Greg Leute as Victor certainly gives us a lesson WHEN: October 16th@ 7:30 pm than 89 Frankenstein movies have been made world- in the art of acting. Except for two short scenes, Mr. WHERE: Wilson Center for the Arts, FCCJ South Campus wide, with some variation of you-know-who as their Leute is on stage the entire play and is constantly theme. Actors Robert De Niro and Randy Quaid both on the move, displaying a variety of emotions from The Kevin Locke Native Dance Ensemble is set to move audiences here in Jacksonville at the Wilson have played the monster in fi lm versions. love, fear, guilt and eventually remorse. My favorite Center on the 16th. This compelling show does more than just present Native American dances; it takes Limelight’s version is closer to Shelly’s origi- Leute performance was as John Barrymore in I Hate the viewer through visually compelling piece of dance theatre in the context of Native American dance, nal story than most of the movie or television ver- Hamlet and I think he has equaled that gem with his music and performance. It’s a narrative with a universal message, communicating the nobility of the hu- sions. All the action takes place in the study of Victor Victor. man spirit. Frankenstein in a Swiss chateau. Scott Ashley’s set Stacey Capo, costume designer, made all the Representing the Plains nations of Lakota, Anishinabe and Comanche, the Southeastern tribe Choc- design is, as I predicted in my review of Limelight’s period costumes from scratch. The ladies have a taw and the Woodlands Nations of Ojibwe and Oneida, they offer a rich variety of Native traditions and Criminal Minds last month, a masterpiece. Featuring couple of changes and their outfi ts are lovely to aesthetics in dance, instrumentals, song, storytelling, sign language and audience interaction. amazing details and what appears to be hundreds of behold. Victor seemed to wear the same clothing the Each element in the legendary Return of the Thunders is represented by an instrument in the show. props, like books and scientifi c paraphernalia. entire play and I can understand why. There are six The Return of the Thunders is a story about the cycle of life in the spring, which is a larger metaphor for In the opening, Victor is trying to explain to his scenes but the changes are so fast (nothing on the the awakening of the earth and human consciousness. The drum is the thunder, the fl ute is the wind, the lovely new bride Elizabeth (Elle Kendall) why he’s so set is moved) that Victor hardly has time to put on rattle is the rain and the voice is the lightening. By placing an elemental philosophy behind the instru- out of sorts and depressed. This brilliant scientist new clothing. I would suggest changing the maroon ments, the music imparts greater meaning and force of emotion. and surgeon was obsessed with the cause of life. He scarf he wears around his neck to a blue or gray to The show includes, among other things, an “Eagle Dance” complete with a genuine eagle feather creates a creature from human body parts that he ei- give some idea of time and days passing. costume. Eagle feathers in the U.S. cannot be bought. Only Native Americans and those who are lucky ther steals from graveyards or buys from the county Frankenstein is a rare opportunity to see a enough to be gifted eagle feathers are allowed to own any. morgue. His creature is ugly and shunned, not only classic. It has its tense moments, but it is not really There’s also “the Drum Challenge,” which features dueling Native drums. The two drummers trade by Victor, but others he comes into contact with. a horror play. It is a play that makes one question beats, challenging each other to do more and more complex rhythms. It’s a powerful and exciting portion Seeking revenge, the creature kills Victor’s younger man’s right to create life and his responsibility if he of the show. brother and vows to murder Victor on his wedding does so. (Anyone for cloning?) The show ends with the moving “Hoop Dance,” “a prayer in motion” that Kevin Locke himself refers night. Director Bob Pritchard has done a remarkable to as “a choreographic prayer because it is a traditional dance. The symbology of the hoop is the basis of Victor reluctantly agrees to create a female job casting and staging this well-written script. He the prayer… Wholeness. Unity. Beauty. Balance. Peace. Continuity. All of these concepts are invoked by mate for the creature, assisted by fellow scientist only had four weeks from start to opening night, and the symbol of the hoop…The intended result of the prayer is that all present would receive blessings and Henry (James Bennett), but there are many compli- he has successfully produced a most interesting be restored to wholeness, balance peace. Not just physically, but emotionally, and of course, spiritually.” cations. A young gypsy, Justine (Casey Sacco), is evening of theater, adding just a light touch of humor Twenty-eight hoops are used in this complex dance. Even the color of the hoops has some signifi - blamed for the brother’s death and she comes with to the emphasis on the moral issues. cance. Black, red, yellow and white are the traditional colors used in native fl ags and each represents an police inspector Ernst (Sean Sacco) to plead her in- As a side note, before you see the play, you element, but the four colors also serve to symbolize the major races. It’s the big fi nale that invokes the nocence to Victor. Meanwhile, Victor’s mother, Frau might want to check out the playwright, the late Tim show’s universal message and philosophy of unity and cooperation. Frankenstein (wonderfully portrayed by Margaret Kelly. He published more than 300 plays (eat your The Kevin Locke Native Dance Ensemble will perform at the Wilson Center for the Arts on Tuesday, Kaler) becomes a typical mother and wonders what heart out Shakespeare and Neil Simon), including Oct. 16 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $33.00 including service charge. Tickets are available by phone with a her son is up to in his laboratory. Her curiosity has Dr. Jekyll…Please Don’t Hyde, Don’t Say No to the credit card, via the FCCJ Artist Series Box Offi ce at (904) 632-3373 (toll-free outside of Jacksonville at some disastrous results. U.S.O. and Never Trust a Tattooed Sailor. Interest- 1-888-860-BWAY.) Discounts are available for groups of 15 or more by calling (904)632-3228. Tickets Nancy Arico is Sophie, the maid/housekeeper, ing fellow, don’t you think? I know you will fi nd his are also available online with Instant Seat Selection by visiting the FCCJ Artist Series’ website, artist- and her bewilderment adds some comic moments to Frankenstein absorbing and the perfect play for the series.fccj.org. what is mostly a very serious morality play. month of October. Call (904)825-1164 for reserva- Tim Kompanchenko is the hulking creature that tions.

32 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Starbucks is like the Disney World of coffee houses. I once knew a girl who got a job with Star- bucks. On her fi rst day, they instructed her on how to be Starbucks friendly and how to adopt their Star- bucks way of life. But their employees are like robots, constantly productive. You will never fi nd a dirty Starbucks, a chair out of place, a disheveled shelf of overpriced coffee mugs. They made my friend show up for work at fi ve in the morning every day to open the store. She was once fi ve minutes late, coming in at 5:05 AM, and they fi red her. They must have thought that she didn’t care about the Starbucks way. Her hair was too cool, and she probably wore too much black, but nonetheless, she was furious to have spent any amount of time there. I have heard that every Starbucks store has a voice. Much like a Starbucks overlord, an invisible deity that looms over the little workers to make sure they are keeping in line. I can see little cameras now, which would be assumed to be security cameras, but you never really know. I’ve read accounts of this voice suddenly booming over the loudspeaker, “Now Tiffany, why aren’t the chocolate biscottis splayed in a perfect bouquet fashion?” So, ever the Starbucks disciple, Tiffany straightens the little bustle, sweating profusely, suddenly aware that every action is being watched. “Did they see me pick my nose last week? God, I hope not.” It’s also been rumored that Starbucks employees are instructed to mix up the word arrangement when passing on an order from clerk to barista. Somehow this is intended to keep the customer out of the loop. Whatever loop that could be, I am not sure. I know what I ordered, how could I get in on some covert operation by rehearing what I’ve ordered? It’s probably to make their employees seem smart and make the whole coffee experience somewhat mysterious. People always love a mystery, after all. Some Starbucks workers have attempted to unionize, fi ghting for their rights against this Starbucks man that promises them benefi ts, but schedules them for 19 hours a week, just shy of the twenty needed to qualify. The guy who started the union was eventually fi red, as well as other union workers, and little by little, one by one, Starbucks monsters crept out of the underground to conquer the proletariat. The union is not backing down, but Starbucks will basically blacklist anyone who joins. One union member got fi red for six dollars that mysteriously went missing from her drawer overnight. She claims she was set up. But, still, despite knowing all of these scary, somewhat freakish Big Brother aspects of this com- pany, I still come here. Despite the fact that they promise free Internet, which isn’t really free. Despite the fact that their coffee probably contains addictive additives that keep me coming again and again (because really this coffee is not that good). Despite the creepy grins that employees give off, their wholesome goodness looks bought instead of intrinsic. I like the coffee. I like the atmosphere. And I love how reliable it is. It was obvious Jacksonville had fi nally arrived when Starbuck’s moved into downtown. I could probably even move to Kenya and fi nd a Starbucks. “I would like one grande non-fat iced vanilla latte, please,” I would say. And they would scream, possibly some clucking involved, “One latte iced non-fat vanilla grande!” Then tell me that would cost me two baby goats. Out in Oakland, everyone drank Pete’s coffee. It was like the stronger, darker, more serious version of Starbucks. People out there hated Starbucks. They even bought billboards with inappropriate puns on them to dissuade people from going there. Apparently the people who started Starbucks originally worked for Pete’s and then broke off to start their own company, only to have Starbucks completely trample any hopes Pete’s might have had of becoming a corporate giant. I tried, on random occasions, to get behind the Pete’s coffee. A few days after getting out to Oak- land, while living with my wonderfully intellectual aunt and uncle who served Pete’s coffee at home, I had a cup in the morning with my scone. Then, a few hours later, we stopped by a Pete’s coffee shop on the way to a Wells Fargo Company Picnic. My aunt, a Pete’s afi cionado, ordered a half caff. “What the hell is a half caff?” I wondered to myself. I ordered one regular coffee, and we were on our way. Thirty minutes later, with the Bay Area’s Fog Monster sweeping through our pleasant picnic, my world started to spin around me. My skin started to feel a little different, and it seemed like everyone was moving really, really slowly. I started shaking. “What’s happening to me?” I asked my aunt. She laughed at me and told me to drink a beer. Appar- ently half caff means you won’t have a near panic attack from drinking Pete’s coffee. I was experiencing a coffee overdose. I had to go home and spend the rest of the day in bed. No, I am fi ne with my Starbucks. I fi nally found a few within walking distance of my life in Oakland, and that was the end of Pete’s for me. And, though I have always enjoyed local coffee shops, you never know where one might be. Starbucks is guaranteed to be a few blocks away, no matter where you are. Even in the woods, I’m sure those little deer make a daily Starbucks run as well. America’s life juice, it keeps us thriving. Visit starbucksunion.org to learn more.

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 33 THE JOCK by tom weppel

COLLEGE FOOTBALL Cleveland to play the Browns, and the Saints play on MY, MY, MY, HOW THE MIGHTY GATORS HAVE Sunday Night in Seattle against the Seahawks. FALLEN! First, the Gators lose at home to the Auburn On the other side of the fence, the Patriots and Tigers, and then they go on the road and lose to Colts certainly seem to be on their own level, with the LSU Tigers! It’s a good thing they don’t play the both being undefeated. While the Colts will hang out netscapades Memphis Tigers or the Clemson Tigers, or even the this weekend, due to a Bye week, the Pats will head MISSOURI TIGERS! to Dallas to play a Cowboys team that has played by brenton crozier Look. It was bound to happen sometime. Flori- some very good football so far this season. QB Tony da simply couldn’t continue to win National Champi- Romo has made the Dallas passing game look great, “Oh no they di’int” is sure to be uttered when you look at the World Wide Web gems I drudged out onships every year. They were going to suffer a loss and HC Wade Phillips has turned the Defense into a of the depths of my boredom this week. My fi nds take the gloves off and go after hair-product happy frat or two before long, and now it has happened. It will force. Without question, the New England at Dallas be up to Urban Meyer and his crew to come back contest will be the marquee game of the week. guys and rotund women who have a proclivity for party hats. Leave your schmaltzy feelings and shield- and get a win or two to salve the wound all the Gator ing sensibilities at the door. I’m sure there are a number of uplifting, enlightening and artistically astound- fans are feeling now, and then see what wacked-out MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL ing websites that I could bring to your attention, but there are 2 reasons (at least this week) that I won’t: Bowl game they can land in at the end of the year. We are now seeing the League Championship I have an ax to grind with dudes that are douchebags and fat chicks in party hats is good old fashioned This weekend, the Gators will take some time Series underway in both the American League and fun. off while the rest of the schools get after it. LSU will National League. travel to Kentucky, and Miami will host Georgia Tech. Without question, nobody would’ve suspected www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com Steve Spurrier takes his Gamecocks to Chapel Hill that Colorado and Arizona would be playing right to face the Tar Heels, while Notre Dame tries to snag now. To have these two clubs playing great baseball another ‘W’ hosting #4 Boston College. Meanwhile, and beating their opponents is quite a feat. The How often have you found yourself looking at an exceptionally good looking lady, shifted your gaze the USC Trojans, who were thrown for a total sur- Rockies are simply on fi re, having won 15 out of 16, to guy she is with, and wondered, “How in holy hell did that dude end up with her?” Then you trot the prise by the Stanford Cardinal, will try to get back on which is almost unprecedented. The D-Backs have usual reasons and justifi fi cations out and think that he must have money, only be her friend or that she the winning track when they host Arizona. put things together on their side as well, and all this has really low self-esteem. combined should make the NLCS a very competitive If you are as repulsed at guys who use more hair product than their dates, pop their collars or are JAGUARS series. simply douchebags who think they are cool, then hot chicks with douche bags is for you. The site simply Last week the Jaguars showed us they have Meanwhile, the Boston Red Sox have had sells itself as, “Pictures of hot chicks with total and complete douchebags. With commentary.” strength in many areas, beating the Chiefs on the plenty of time to rest and gather themselves, after There are typical frat douches (the infamous popped collar, plastic cup of crappy beer, and normally road to go to 3-1. And now, for the fi rst time in four sweeping the Angels as they did. Boston has strong a ball cap), Long Island douches (think mousse and fake tan), and even rock-n-roll douches (bad tat- weeks, they play here at home, against the Houston pitching and their hitting has come through as well. Texans. They could be considered the favorite to go all the toos, wife beater to display bad tattoos, and really bad haircuts). I’m sure you’ve wondered who buys It seems as if the Jags are coming together way. We shall see. those hideous silk shirts and super hip jeans that come ripped and discolored with price tags in the triple quite nicely, thank you. Jackie Del Rio has assem- digits. Stop wondering, those dudes are on this site and they are proud to sport these regrettable apparel bled a nice corps of starters to take care of business NASCAR choices. on Defense, which is Jack’s forte`. And on Offense, After another wild scene at Talladega last Be sure to consult the “Hall of Scrote” on the left for the hilarious archives. From The Joey Porsche he’s got QB David Garrard playing solid, effective weekend, culminating with a Jeff Gordon victory, of Experience to Duche Lee, you will feel vindicated for all those nights you’ve wondered, “Am I the only one ball, throwing to a wide variety of receivers, and Fred course, the Boys will take the show, also known as that thinks that guy with that really hot girl is a total douchebag?” Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew are doing a good job the Chase, to Charlotte and the Lowe’s Speedway. running the ball as well. Having Gordon and Jimmie Johnson running Houston comes into town after beating the Dol- 1-2 at this point of the year is no surprise in NAS- www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com phins on a last-second 57-yard FG by Kris Brown. CAR. It’s almost as if that’s the way it should be, Houston carries a 3-2 record and, if Jaguar fans with no other alternative. Oh, sure, you can throw in Yes, I’m fearless and unfettered about my website choices, but fat chicks in party hats is sim- remember, the Texans beat the Jaguars twice last Tony Stewart or Dale Jr. every so often. But these ply cruel. It’s like that cruel joke that makes you laugh so hard you can’t hide the fact that it was com- season. So the Jags might have a little vengeance two guys are clean, pure and All-American, which is pletely riotous despite some hurt feelings, then makes you feel real bad again. The author and webmaster within their beings built-up and ready to unleash EXACTLY the way NASCAR wants it. of this site have clear issues with heavy people, as both men and women (mainly women) are targets. upon these guys. It should be an interesting contest, And so, that’s why having Jaques Villeneuve I think it is a strong possibility that the site creators are either large or were the proverbial fat-kid punch as the AFC South Division has become quite a com- and Dario Franchitti come into the mix next season line growing up. petitive group. will be a large wrench to throw into the NASCAR My fi rst thought was wondering who submits these photos. I picture a friend saying, “Tina, you look fold. It should be very, very interesting to see how THE OTHER THIRTY-ONE stock car fans react to having these “foreigners” so cute in that hat, stuff something in your mouth while I take a picture!” This site is full of pure depravity The Rams, Saints, and Dolphins are all still show up every Sunday to race with the Boys. I’ll be and only digresses into the mind of a simple and scary human being (apparently named Miguel). I’m not trying to fi nd their fi rst victory and it’s getting to even more curious to see what the reaction will be if sure if his comments are incendiary for attention, or born out of the inability to land a lady . . . you be the the point where anxiety is setting in for teammates, they maybe win a race or two. It seems NASCAR is judge. coaches, and fans, without question. getting more and more competitive, in turn throwing In his “About Miguel” section, he claims to be 17, and probably is. He apparently has both a fat Last week all three teams were close to pick- the IRL into a huge tailspin. phobia and homophobia. The highlight of the site is the Fat Hat Dance, which isn’t saying much. Enter at ing up a win, only to fall in the last minute. It’s too your own risk and don’t bother sending hate mail, as hate mail is a celebrated section of their site. That’s bad, because this week, all three are on the road Tom Weppel talks trash with Greg Larson, Lon- all I really have to say about that. and will have a tough time winning. The Rams go to nie Marts, Eugene Chung, Artis Gilmore, and Ron Baltimore to face the Ravens, the Dolphins head to Duguay on SportsAvengers.com 24/7.

34 october 11-17, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper nascar news & notes BY RICHARD TEAGUE [email protected]

A Whole Tribe This Week! Oh NO! Mr. Bill, Junior Busch last week at Kansas. I know I will get some had another ‘injun blow up this week, and I bet I emails about my next statement from the Junior know who did it. Could it have been the evil step- fans, so let ’er rip if you want, but Dale Earnhardt Jr. mother? Or did he infl ict it on himself? Whichever did a dumb thing. Yeah sure, he said he was sorry it was, they didn’t stop at Dale Jr.’s car, and they and he was at fault and he read Busch wrong on sabotaged all of DEI’s and RCR’s drivers, but just what he was going to do, but why race him so hard, didn’t do a good enough job on Kevin or Clint. Now you’re not in the Chase and he is? I mean, dude, you on Paul’s car the jury is out, ‘cause he was in the took his job and now you take him from the chance “Big One” so we won’t know for sure. My thinking to win a championship. I have lost respect for Earn- is that when I wrote my thoughts about Jr. being the hardt because of what he’s done this season. Even saboteur and not Teresa, he fi gured to get me off the if he is Gordon and Johnson’s new team mate, he scent he would do everybody’s ride for Dega and all won’t get my respect back. Will he try and be the the fans (myself included) would just think it was the “Big Dog” at Hendrick Motorsports in 2008? Or will new restrictor plate and not some plot against the he work with the other drivers there like he did some free world of NA$CAR. (Y’all paying attention so far what with Waltrip? Next year something will give at about how I’m using the $ sign? told ya I would be Hendrick’s ‘cause there will be just too many stars in from now on). the heavens over there. Does he think I fell off a turnip truck with the OK, back to the Dega and the race with the New ruse of claiming that three thirty seconds of an inch Car or COT or whatever else you want to call that would make “la difference” and that 75 to 80 more piece of crap. Man, I cannot accept that car even horsies under the hood could make an ‘injun puke? after the other week when I said it was growing on Come on, whoever is undermining the number eight me (and really it was) but to see it on a super speed- car you need to get up pretty early in the afternoon way made me realize I was kidding myself. There is to pull the wool over my glasses, ya hear? After all, NO WAY that car will ever be as exciting to me as the look at all the other Chevrolets that were still in the “Old Car” or that I will ever like the blooming thing. race at the end. I didn’t see the Hendrick’s or Gibb’s I may have found an answer to my plight and that is drivers leave the race after the dreaded white puff or NA$CAR with the announcement of Nationwide as cloud of smoke marked the failed engine. Heck, there the new sponsor for the Busch Series next year, they were six of them in the top ten, with four Dodges and said there may be a car design change for that series a Toyota, so the plate must not really be the reason. soon. If that is the case I may have new drivers to I just want to let all the parties involved in this con- root for in a few years, wait a minute, several of my spiracy know that I AM WATCHING and I am thinking drivers now are “Buschwhackers” so there might not about bringing in that Monk guy from TV to help me be a problem. solve this case. The way I hear it is that NA$CAR instead of a Car Speaking of a Toyota in the top ten this week- of Tomorrow for the (Busch for now and Nationwide - what about that Michael Waltrip on the pole at for latter) other series, will be a Car of the Past. Now Talladega and a total of four of them starting in the that is the smartest thing I have heard NA$CAR do fi rst six spots? The rest of the top ten starters were since Brian France took over and I bet ya he didn’t two Chevys, three Dodges and a single Ford, but it have a thing to do with it. With all the big three car sure didn’t end with a ratio like that. By fi nish time makers coming out with these concept cars and there were no Fords, one Toyota down from the remaking the old “Muscle” cars like with the Mus- weird starting fi eld and the Dodges held their own tang, the Camaro and one of my favorites the Dodge with three of them in the top ten. The ones that really Challenger I’ll dang sure love that!! Gooooooood showed were the Chevrolets. By puttin’ six of’em in Byeeeeeeee whatever name you are when that hap- the top ten fi nishers with the winner coming from the pens. I’m dumping Cup and watching Nationwide. 34th starting position. Way to go Jeffy!! By the way, Damn, that is going to be real hard to get used to, did ESPN on ABC happen to show a replay of him ain’t it? Anyway I’ll be waiting in front of my TV, passing Jimmie Johnson on the last lap? I had to get my 42” wide fl at screen, baby, or by then I’ll have a back out to my burgers and dogs on the grill before bigger one. Y’all know how us men always want a they burned, so I didn’t see. I’ll have to borrow my bigger one don’t ya? bud’s tape of the race to see it. Dang fools should Well, I think I will cut it just a tad short this week, have known that Gordon was going to pass Johnson. since it was such a long race and I know we are all Oh well. tired and want to get to bed. Still got a couple more I was talking to my good friend John on Satur- things to do before I can take the Coco dog out and day, after Waltrip qualifi ed fi rst for the Cup race, and you know how that goes. A woman works from sun I asked him if he had heard who had got the pole. up to sun down and a man’s work is never done. When I told him Mikey did, he kind of laughed and This week I’m not telling you how to contact me said “Well, maybe they got their big track racing like I usually do because I know I made a Junior fan down fi nally.” I don’t know about that, and I won- or two mad. So if you feel the need you’ll just have dered if anybody had checked the intake manifold of to look for last week’s copy of EU somewhere and Waltrip’s car to see if there was a foreign substance that address that is in the heading of my column in there or not, you know, like at Daytona. That was this week no longer works, well maybe it does, but kind of redundant to think like that because even the please forgive an old man and his ramblings, you’ll NA$CAR grounds keepers were checking that baby be this old one day, and I would forgive you. Re- out. The real funny thing is that Michael Waltrip will member, if it ain’t NA$CAR, it ain’t s**t!! for sure be in the next Bud Shootout come 2008 even if NA$CAR makes any changes in the format or something. I will say this: it was kind of neat to see him and Junior drafting on the lead lap up front together like old times, wasn’t it? While I’m back on the subject of Dale Jr. I want- ed to say a word or two about how he wrecked Kyle

eujacksonville.com | october 11-17, 2007 35