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Home , Balder (character), Hela (character), Loki (character), Mjolnir, Mjolnir (comics), Odin (character)

8 months until april 2017

WILL DEFEAT THE ? PUNCHING FRIENDS?

DESPITE THE FIRST IMPRESSION, THINGS LOOK GRIM. EITHER THE HULK DOESN’T REMEMBER, OR HE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN! FINALLY GOT HIS DRINK! THE HORNY GOT A SCOTCH, NO KIDDIN’

SPOILER ALERT: THE GRANDMASTER GAVE IT TO HIM, BEFORE LOKI TRICKED HIM.

PAGE 3 PAGE 5 Loki’s helmet Shhh… Thor has couldn’t be a second hornier Hammer!! : KISS AND GOODBYE! Seriously?

8 months until Ragnarok: You could pray to Loki asap, but he’ll probably trick you… The end is near! Thor: You could root for Thor, but do it super simple. The guy knows how Midgardians! Your time is running out! You can kiss to punch, but we all know he’s a Mjolnir, Asgard and Thor goodbye! Hela is about to rule little bit slow in understanding stuff. JUST-KEEP-IT-SIMPLE, and the show from November 3. She promised your deaths you might survive. would be quick. Then she’ll have fun with you once : you’re in her domains. One-eye is lost somewhere in . The best option is asking for some help. Hela is pissed. We still don’t know : for certain, but it seems she has a If you’ve worshipped Loki, don’t tantrum of massive proportions. expect anything from him but a According to our faithful sources murdering look. He knows you (the comics and ) adore Loki, so… she might be one of Loki’s children. Hela: However, we could be wrong. The MCU has mysterious ways, so we Well, if you’re crazy enough… You won’t know for sure until can go for it. Why not? November. : If you have a spirit warrior, she In case she is connected with Loki, might probably recruit you for we can kiss our hopes goodbye. battle. And if you die well, you (You already saw what she did to can end up in ! Yay! Mjolnir, so what do you think she’ll Copyright Notice: do to us!?) Papa Loki killed , Thor’s brother, so that she would This is a free publication with no shut up. It happened in mythology. survival. But, if she is here to other purpose but to share with And it might have gone very much punish Thor and she’s decided that you all the goodness contained in like this: we’re bait, we can kiss our hopes it. None of the images are mine goodbye again. (only my blog’s logo, hey!) The “Daddy, I like this guy. I need to images are (C) Marvel and date him!" Entertainment Weekly. “Hela, love. You’re dead!” We can only hope that Thor and This has been made by Yours Truly “Daddy, you could kill him and give Loki will team up somehow and ( depepi.com ) just for fun, and to it to me!” return her to , where she can start the countdown to see Loki. I “If I kill him, will you stop plot how to deal with us. mean, to see Thor: Ragnarok in nagging?” cinemas. “Yes, daddy!” Hela is personified for the Funko Pop: Vikings. So, odds are that she’s Consider creating the following pretty hard to get rid off. And as Pops: However, there’s a strong possibility happens with everything, she rules that Loki isn’t her father. above all things: even Gods end up 1. Hela with the rad Helmet and Remember ? Yes, the cool in her domains! She’s sexy, horny without it. eight-legged horse that Papa Odin and kicks ass. Let’s hope she spares 2. A new Loki Pop with the new was riding? Well, Loki birthed it. us all! helmet and the knives. (Don’t ask the details, but I’m sure you have a strong imagination.) In 3. A new Loki Pop taking a drink. the MCU, there are no mentions Now, seriously. Can we just stop for He deserves it! whatsoever to Loki mothering a while and admire the horns of her 4. New Thor Pop with short hair Sleipnir, nor the father. (If you warrior appearance? Just like in the and without Mjolnir. know Loki, you shouldn’t be comics!! Oh, we’re going to have 5. A Gladiator Hulk, angry like shocked.) loads of fun during Ragnarok! hell. IF YOU DON’T PRODUCE A NEW In case she is just a badass villain Yours Truly LOKI POP BY RAGNAROK I’LL BE who just wants to kick Thor’s ass, MAD AT YOU!! (Just saying) we might have an opportunity for HOT AF

Loki is back to make you The Teaser Trailer has proven that more havoc online than the fear of Loki’s power is beyond control. Only Ragnarok itself. Let’s be clear here, swoon. Beware: ovaries might 4 seconds on screen has produced we can’t even! explode before Ragnarok!

Loki’s Horny Helmet that he’s going to multiply his Okay, maybe the horns in the MCU horns, helmet or other thingies.) Nerds of the world, rejoice for are larger. That’s not to suggest Loki’s has a new Helmet! Or… is it? that any other physical parts of The new fashion rocks too. If you read the comics you know Loki might be larger too. Just that this helmet isn’t exactly new. However, there’s a fear here. In remember: Loki is a shapeshifter comics, Loki dies during Ragnarok. It’s been there for years. But, just and he can multiply thanks to in case you missed it, here it is: Oh, dang! Yes! I know! But, the magic. (Nope, we’re not saying MCU could do things differently.

No worries, Loki will be forever with us. Another version of the Trickster appears for our delight (in comics).

For the time being, let’s just think about this horny version of Loki. Yes, despite Ragnarok and all the fears!

[Loki always comes back in the comics, reinventing himself. I hope the MCU is just like that.] Loki got his drink, at last

He got a Scotch and he loved it!

The Grandmaster had the honor to giving him that super deserved drink. Alas, Loki tricked him after the kind gesture.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t a Now, it’s unclear who Loki is tricking But, hey, we’re talking about Loki Scotch but a Galactic this time. It could be Thor (again), here. Because he’s the Trickster par the Grandmaster (he would lose his excellance, then we need to consider alcoholic drink! virginity in tricks from Loki, oh that he works for himself and he will dear!), Doctor Strange (magic against trick everyone to safe his neck. Oh, Whatever the case, the important magic, that would be so rad to see!), wait? That’s mostly what Norse issue here is that Loki finally got his or whoever else he might decide to Mythology says… Hmmm, not a bet drink. It wasn’t the who trick next. We can only speculate. after all, is it? finally let him get drunk, but the Grandmaster. So, what do you think Loki is doing To be fair, he should be tricking the apart from drinking and probably Grandmaster and helping Thor. We But we all know what happens when face-palming whatever Thor might be would get tons of funny scenes if that the Trickster gets high, righ? (I can doing to amuse the Grandmaster? were true. see your brain starting to imagining very naughty things. Good Lokinion!) My bet is that he will trick everyone. Let’s hope it happens like that. I know, that's the safest bet ever. Mjolnir is dead… WHY!???

Hela smashes Mjolnir like if it were Let’s be realistic: he’s going to face Thor couldn’t be sexier in this movie. just pudding! We all saw that in the the Hulk, a pissed version of the Teaser Trailer. Now, the question is: Hulk, without the Hammer. That’s We are all the style changed! will Thor have the same power juice huge. Although we need to admit the after one of his Hammers is gone for good? obvious: we’re going to miss his But, here’s a theory. If Hela killed messy long hair. the Hammer, and destroyed If you aren’t surfing the hot waters everything. And, if she brought the of Tumblr, you might not know about spoils of war to Hel (we know she Another question in the air is: where’s Thor’s second Hammer. does that), then maybe the Hammer can be resurrected. his Midgardian love? We all know that she deserted him. So, would it be We won’t talk about that here. I know, it’s a stretch. But, if you can possible that Valkyrie will be his love? resurrect a God, can’t we resurrect Or, will we ever see him with ? Nor about the possible strong juice it Mjolnir too? might produce. Shippers of the world, we call upon Then Thor will keep on having two We’re discussing the death of Mjolnir. Hammers. you: who will be Thor’s new love Hela killed it. We saw it. We’re interest? Let’s start a poll! Who do you mourning. But, will something else safe Thor? Can he be Thor without his Besides, we all love Thor Hammering ship Thor with? Hammer? things. Without Mjolnir, he might be • Sif punching, fisting, and kicking stuff. • Valkyrie • Loki! (Don’t punch me!) Thor’s power is supposed to come from his Hammer… • Or is it? A big question arises: will Thor have the • Hela same power juice without Mjolnir? (He has another • No one: he’s mine! Mjolnir, but only Tumblr talks about it. Could it be the answer?) Now, what about that second Hammer you were talking about? Important questions

We have too many questions!! might be helping Thor and Loki find One-Eye. Sorry, Odin. Excuse me if I We're glad the comedy in have zero sympathies for the guy, but Thor is back in its full glory, I strongly believe he’s to blame for but… much of the problems regarding Thorki. Is Valkyrie a friend or a foe? Maybe she has recruited Thor to help her scape the Grandmaster. One is Now, for the shippers. What would certain: Valkyrie should recognize you call a ship with Loki and Doctor who Thor is (unless she has a hideous Strange? Lostrange? We’re open to case of amnesia because she totally all king of suggestions!

Now, what’s up with the Hulk? He’s

is he? How piss will he be when he recovers his memory?

Horny is the new fashion! So, how many of you will try to Cosplay Hela? That horny helmet over there is trickier than Loki himself! Awesome, I know, but it’s also the worse Xmas tree idea ever. (Just saying in case you end up Cosplaying it and want to recycle the helmet for something).

failed kicking Hela’s butt time ago. Yup, it looks like that the one falling from grace was her! (Take another long look at the trailer, and see that Valkyrie falling from grace!) pure ! He doesn’t recognize Thor at all!! There’re several possibilities: ➡Rage has taken full control, and he just wants to smash and smash. ➡He doesn’t care about Thor at all because if he wins he’s free. ➡He doesn’t give a damn. He only wants to smash.

And, what about Odin? One-Eye might have amnesia too. It’s doubtful that Loki ended up killing Daddy. We And finally, Heimdall. We can see him bet he might be roaming Midgard in a in the Trailer fighting. But, I bet he style, but less fashionable didn’t see this coming. Or did he? and without a penny. Roaming One thing was obvious: his hair is Midgard with no memory and poor much longer. Loki has long hair too. garments isn’t exactly vacations in The Vikings had long hair (free men) Tahiti. and those who were slaves had short hair. Hence, there might lie an Where was Doctor Strange!? We all explanation for why Thor ends up in know that he appears in Thor (or at Now, the question is: will we see the Grandmaster’s barber! least, he should). And yet we’ve had One-Eye in the movie? If so, how mad not a single frame with him in this Teaser Trailer!! We all know that he OMG!

This GUY!! This is the Grandmaster! He’s the brother of the !! (Or, at least, theoretically).

Okay, time to panick! entertains himself with the perfect brother for the While his bro collects glorious fights! So, what does Collector. he do? Nothing in particular everything and Now the question is: will he really: he gets the best everybody, this one is get mad when Loki tricks him? fighters in the Galaxy and hooked on fights! And if so, how mad will he makes them fight until they Fashionable but obsessive. get? Also: who designed his are pretty dead. According to the comics, he’s clothes? (I love the colors!!!) one of the Elders of the But, he’s a nice guy, really. He Let’s admire Jeff Goldblum in Universe (yup, that makes the has a cool fashion style, great all his glory! He looks so Collector another one). And stylists and a weird send of badass in his Sakaar robes! We what does he do? Like Roman how to use makeup and need a tee with these colors! Emperors in the past, he guyliner. All in all, he makes THANK YOU FOR READING

Thank you for reading all this mess!! I What I mean to say is that I write got carried away because I saw some other stuff and not only about seconds of Loki on the screen! Superheroes. Yes! Blame Loki if you will! But, I had Okay, maybe I do write about so much fun writing this for you. comics far too much? Nah.

Now, what’s next? What else can you do?

You can share this with friends. Counting the days before Thor: Ragnarok. November 3 seems far Start creating that Hela helmet and away, but believe me: IT’S TOO FAR be the first one to Cosplay her Or, you can drop by depepi.com and AWAY! WHY!? WHY!? without breaking your neck! (IKR? read some other madness, follow me That helmet has some serious on FB ( https://www.facebook.com/ weight issues). depepicom/), Twitter ( https:// Go and see Guardians of the Galaxy twitter.com/depepi ), Instagram soon. Because, let’s be honest: I AM ( https://www.instagram.com/ . Start a new guy liner trend based depepi/ ), or subscribe to my on the Grandmaster makeup style. Newsletter ( https://madmimi.com/ Just stare at his eyes! Seriously. signups/ Beg for more Loki pictures out He’s like the hypnotoad! 8bc28e4c24734abba6f62d1b36031f2a there. Because of reasons. /join ). Be advised though: I do not Cry out loud because Karl Urban only talk about Loki and Marvel. I use Start finding new shipping names to geek out loud about comics looks like a mad man. Maybe Loki for the new romances of Loki. For shaved his head? (mainly Marvel), the MCU (and other example: what would you call Loki movies that I love), Netflix, Funko and Doctor Strange? Or Loki and the Pops, and books. Grandmaster? And Loki and Hela? (I Think about why villains want the know, she might be his daughter Winter Soldier Eye-Makeup look. He Okay, yes I talk about Loki quite after all, but… but… buuuuuut… rocked it, now Hela rocks it. Is often. Maybe not as often as I would Don’t blame me! Blame Tumblr!!!) there any secret reason why? like to. And finally: are we doomed yet?