CONSTRUCTING ELYSIUM AND PLAYING UGLY: METHODS OF INTIMACY IN FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAME COMMUNITIES Genesis Marie Downey A Dissertation Submitted to the Graduate College of Bowling Green State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY August 2015 Committee: Radhika Gajjala, Advisor Lesa L. Lockford Graduate Faculty Representative Kristine Blair Sandra Faulkner © 2015 Genesis Marie Downey All Rights Reserved iii ABSTRACT Radhika Gajjala, Advisor Using Johan Huizinga’s concept of the magic circle as a context for understanding how sacred spaces reserved for play manifest within role-playing game (RPG) environments both digital and table-top, this dissertation argues that while certain elements of the magic circle are still present, the vast amount of work produced to monitor the boundaries of sacred game space stem from the intimate relationships between players. Online RPG environments are open to critique due to the seemingly wide-spread use of hostility as a gate-keeping tactic. Numerous studies and digital media scholars have examined how bullying, harassment, and bodily threats present within toxic digital gaming cultures act as a means of limiting access to participation. Because marginalized players, whether due to gender, race, or sexual identity, are often playing in gaming environments that get coded as toxic, this dissertation chooses to interrogate the ways in which some players negotiate game environments that are complicated at best and overtly hostile at worst. While the dissertation is careful to note the distinctions between online RPGs and offline table-top RPGs, the core argument made stems from the consistencies present between both: both the online and table-top groups who participated in the study use tools of intimacy both actively and passively as a means of fostering individual as well as group identity. In so doing, the use of intimacy acts as a buffer against hostile acts that would otherwise inhibit participation. But this dissertation does not just attempt to understand how players weather and negotiate hostility outside of their gaming groups. It also seeks to understand how some players are able to iv absorb the hostility and redirect it as a creative play-style. In this case, “playing ugly” becomes a means of performance not directed outward, but rather, inward. Taboo play, in this case, becomes a cathartic way in which players process hostility by becoming hostile. While this play-style may seem to mirror the online toxic environments that can further separate marginalized players from a larger online gaming ecology, playing ugly strives to make its members immune to the aggression—although whether that achievement is attainable is tenuous. v This project is dedicated to all of those people who have our backs, who cheer us on, who drive us crazy, and love us always. It’s all for you, Mom. vi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to thank members of my committee for their encouragement and their trust in the creation of this dissertation. Dr. Sandra Faulkner—thank you for showing me how not to be afraid of playing with form. Dr. Kris Blair—your work on the digital helped inform my own understanding of these complicated environments. Dr. Lesa Lockford—you called me out. You’ve all challenged my assumptions and made me a better researcher. And Dr. Radhika Gajjala? When I applied to Bowling Green’s ACS program, I mentioned you specifically in my statement of purpose. You were the person I wanted to work with. You were the one that I gravitated towards even before I had a clue what I was doing. I just knew you would be a part of it. Thank you for listening and cutting through the chaff. Thank you for your advocacy and your angle of vision. And thank you to the rest of the Jafarian Apostates, the Lindsey Lohans kept me sane and you all kept me humble. Nicki, I feel like you are my partner in crime. I don’t know if this whole dissertation thing would have gotten written without your feedback, suggestions, and encouragement to keep the ugly stuff. Brock, it’s officially time start a new quest and co-DM now that this present campaign is over. And Debbie? Did you even know I was using your awesomeness as a motivator for my own stuff? Everything you accomplished drove me, pushed me to up my game. I chased your brilliance. Thank you for setting the bar so high. Tiffany, you have meant so much to me. From that very first night class to now, this second, you have been there. I hope my love sustains you through your own academic journey as much as yours sustained me. To Meredith, Alex, and Paul—thank you for the coverage and your understanding and your love. Meredith, you were the one that got me into this project in the first place. Watching you play, mentoring you, listening to you do your own thing…I am proud of our vii gaming life. I am proud of us. Alex—you are next. Mwahahahaha. And to Mikie, Kelly, and Dad…thank you for putting up with my crippling and literal lack of direction. Your love keeps me from getting lost in my backyard. I blame Mom. May her What?! live on. Her voice will always be in my head and heart. Passing that down is the least I could do. A gushing thanks goes out to Net and to all of my students this past year. Thank you for your patience. Hopefully bearing witness to my own writing and researching struggles helped you all realize that road is worth traveling. And to Jenny in the library? THANK YOU! I would be knee deep in overdue book fees if it wasn’t for your diligent anticipation of my scattershot research requests. And the same goes for Beka—you have got mad skills at heading off disasters. Thank you so very much. And to all of those players who agreed to be interviewed, thank you. I asked you a whole bunch of weird questions and you all went with it. And on a last note, a special thanks is in order to all of my fellow guildies in Daughters of the Horde. You ladies rock hard for so many reasons. Our guild is home and I am so damned proud to be a member of such a kick-ass group of women. We’re writers, and students, and professors, and moms (to skin and fur babies, oh God so many many fur babies!), and daughters, and sisters. And for The Deliverers—I have learned so much about love and friendship through my contact with you all. You have my love and I will cherish our time together no matter what. And to all the rest of those role-players who shared their stories, who made me cry and laugh…I really hope I got the stories right. viii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page INTRODUCTION. DEFANGING THE TOXIC ………………………………………..... 1 Summer 2006 ............................................................................................................. 1 Summer 2014 ............................................................................................................. 1 Fall 2014 .................................................................................................................... 2 Cultural Contexts of the Toxic ................................................................................... 5 The 21st Century Magic Circle ................................................................................... 12 Clarifications and Definitions .................................................................................... 15 The Parameters of Playing Ugly ................................................................................ 18 The Necessity for Narrative ....................................................................................... 18 The Necessity for Autoethnography and Friendship .................................................. 20 On Cyberfeminism ..................................................................................................... 24 Show Don’t Tell ......................................................................................................... 26 Chapter Breakdown.................................................................................................... 27 CHAPTER ONE. THOSE GENERALLY AREN’T THE PEOPLE YOU WANT: INTIMACY THROUGH BOUNDARIES………………………….……………………… 31 Privacy…………………………………………. ...................................................... 32 Recruitment Strategies……………………………………………………………… 33 Inclusion/Exclusion .................................................................................................... 35 Vetting…………………………………………. ....................................................... 42 Governance………………………………………………………………………… 44 Ideocultures and Governance ..................................................................................... 46 ix Ancillary Media and Textual Reinforcements ........................................................... 47 Who Needs Group Identity? ...................................................................................... 53 Access through Boundary Formations ....................................................................... 55 CHAPTER TWO. IT’S A WEIRD LOYALTY THING: INTIMACY THROUGH TRUST ……………………………………………………………….. …………………… 57 Safety…………………………………………. ........................................................ 51 “Male Role-Players Norm”………………………………………………………… 66 Anonymity and Accountability .................................................................................. 70 Disinhibition Effect .................................................................................................... 71 Self Replicating Bubbles ............................................................................................ 73 Comfort…….