#fhmEllen

DECEMBER 2016 www.fhm.com.ph P150 2 200 BEFORE ISSUES

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December 2016 CONTENTS

FEATURES

32 HOW TO WIN HER HEART COVER The advice you need but never asked STORY 66 OUT OF THE KANGKUNGAN ELLEN Tim Cone on his Gin Kings, the triangle ADARNA offense, and the Big J 70 T OY She won't let anything get COLLECTORS in the way of her sexiest RULE! FHM cover yet Their shelves of toys will give you serious envy issues

74 THE GROWN-UP GIFT GUIDE What you want, but are too cheap to buy

82 THE MODERN GIRL SQUAD You'll love every one of them

102 HOT ON YOUR TONGUE Usapang maanghang with Chilliheads Philippines PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK NICDAO December 2016 CONTENTS

VERGE GENT

14 CHRISTMAS 38 ERIC TAI 24/7 The dancing Tongan What if the holidays knows something happened every day? about women

16 ART FOR THE 40 FEMME FATALE UNINFORMED Our latest gal gets Our tutorial will give over a broken heart... you some "culture" with a stranger

18 EVICTION IS COMING The boys of Cabin FITS Fever are moving out

PULSE 94 ZODIAC STYLE You gotta dress the part that the stars laid 20 ROGUE ONE: A out for you STARWARS STORY A film snob, a geek, and a movie buff BOOST weigh in

22 PASSING ON HATERS BACK 106 THE DRUGS OFF? YOU NEED We understand Lay off the chemicals; life is a better high 22 HOLIDAY LIT Harry Potter and Elon 108 THE VW GOLF Musk books for the There has to be holidays! a reason why it's Europe's all-rounder 24 S ELF LOVE Th Aegle Spa can give 112 HAPPY you a detox to end HOLIDAYS? this nasty year Nope, says our Jose Mari Chan-hating 26 SERIOUS Grinch BUSINESS Gee Canlas is more than a comedienne PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA, PAOLO PINEDA, WARRENPHOTOGRAPHY: PAOLO DAIRY DARILAG; MARK ILLUSTRATION: JESALVA, ESPEJO & JL PATULAN

FROM THE EDITOR I would like to live in a hippie commune with Ellen Adarna. What FHMers have been up to In the words of LSD trippers, we'd “turn on, tune in, drop out.” It this month would be a place far away from the decadence of society, where calm A couple of photos to serve sea and primeval forest come together in unspoilt splendor. We’d build as proof of how tirelessly the houses made of brush and deadwood. We’d grow our own food. We’d care FHM team and Ellen worked for animals, let them run wild. We'd open the doors of our minds. We’d during our cover shoot over at practice free love. We’d be naked. the Zambawood beach house. I imagine it would look something like how premiere photographer Rain or shine, work 3x Mark Nicdao saw the vision of Ellen in the more than 20 pages of her third FHM cover appearance. Who am I kidding? Ellen looks good naked. I don’t. I’m horrible. Malformed. You don’t want to see me naked. I wouldn’t want to see me naked. But you will Ellen. And she is naked for this shoot. Entirely naked. You know, often the most misunderstood people are the most free. That says a lot about Ellen. She has been judged quite strongly for what she does, which many think is what she is. But we don't know that. Only she does. What Ellen has shown here is that she has gone way past the judgments of other people; she is now empowered to do as she pleases. Certainly in this cover she is very comfortable in her own sexuality, and she wants to show it. Ellen has found it in her to be free. Don’t you wish you could do the same? I mean, not be naked, because you’re probably as hideous as I am, but just be free. Then again if you’re not, go right ahead, get naked. Happy Holidays with no clothes on.

ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ Acting Editor in Chief [email protected]

F HM I NTERNATIONAL Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Assistant Managing Editor Franch N ETWORk Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel Bustamante Editorial Assistant International Director Simon Greves A DVERTISING Therese Sta. Maria Art Directors International Digital Director Group Advertising Director Florence Jerome de Dios, Rey Etable, Juan Carlo Gary Broughton International General Bienvenido Adv. Director-key Accounts Maala, Teddy Garcia Producer Miggy Manager Mark Beard International Group Regie Uy Adv. Manger Maiza Cordero Digital Manager Graham Kirk G. Mueco key Account Specialists C IRCULATION IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY... International Content Executive Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, George Deputy National Circulation Manager Acting Editor in Chief Allan P. Hernandez Ryan Chambers International Digital Canseco III Senior Account Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Team Art Director Paul C. Villariba & Content Executive Erin Viljoen (Print) Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Noreen Sescon-Peligro Asst. Manager Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan International Technical Administrator Senior Account Manager (Digital) For Print And Online Distribution Ulyssis Assistant Managing Editor Pong M. Castillo John Goodchild International Editors Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers Javier key Accounts Group Head Vivian Associate Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky (Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior Manahan, Charlotte Barlis Subscription Editorial Assistant Chise A. Alcantara Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel, Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Group Head Carla Soriano key Accounts Contributing Editor Cecile J. Baltasar (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Specialists Jennifer Tolentino, Alfredo Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Adv. Executive Assistant Toledo Jr., Harold William Rey, Rejie Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Paquibot, Marjorie Yu Newsstand AND FUTURE-PROOFED BY... Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, Maricel Adaniel, Chinggay M. Cabit Supervisor Joel Valdez Distributor Web Editor in Chief Anton D. Umali (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Specialists Kim Sarmiento, Roberto Staff Writers John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A. Hogaza, Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio Revilla, Elaine Einosas, Eric Ferdinand Khatrina Bonagua (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava EVENTS DEPARTMENT Gasatan, Bee Datinguinoo, Aeron Video Production Specialist Eve Baswel Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Associate Marketing Director Arlo Nolasco Junior Sales Representatives Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (Spain) Vicencio Assistant Marketing Manager John Lakhi Celso, May Ann Ayuste, Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, Rica Lozada Senior Marketing Brylle Gonzales, Melrose Tamboong, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, Associate Jed Constantino Junior Julie Dunn Bantan Sales Coordinator WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM... (Turkey) Berk Iybar Marketing Associates Rachelle Castillo, Jennyfer Marcelo Online Distribution Words Lex Celera, Ann Mari Ronqullo, Maan D’Asis Pamaran, John S UMMIT M EDIA Jennifer Dayo, Kevin Palma, Charmie Assistant Mark Jocell Manio Subscription Paulo Aguilera, Winston Baltasar, Juju Baluyot Illustrations James President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Abarquez, Kay Calleja Coordinators Nathaniel Embiado, Andres, Melvin Calingo, Warren Espejo, Borg Sibanan Pictures Eve Publisher Edna T. Belleza M EDIA R ELATIONS Ariel Rivera, Ma. Glenda Uchi, Annalyn Baswel, Paolo Pineda, Dairy Darilag, Kevin Cayuca, Mark Nicdao, Ria VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Media Relations Manager Grace Arambulo Subscription Telemarketer Regino, Mark Jesalva, Kurt Alvarez Styling/Makeup/Hair Debra Junior Associate Publisher Enriquez Media Relations Associate Jon Maynard Ortiz Circulation Admin Bernales, Genie Ranada-Babista, Danae Danipon, Badj Genato, Aeus Kevin Reyes Deputy Group Digital Jensine Bolinao, Via Gonzales Supervisor Marie Lenn Reyes Circulation Janina Dizon, Anne Castaño, Vanessa Estor-Salvador, Mickey See, Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business TRADE MARk ETING Admin Assistants Elnie Marie Delos Emmanuel Hernandez Ii, RJ Dela Cruz, Iwa Ajinomoto, Mara Ashida Operations Manager Dennison Ko Trade Marketing Officer Jamie Islo Trade Santos, Lizel Tumali Web Programmer Christopher Porto Marketing Associates Hannah Roque LOGISTICS Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Trade Marketing Assistants Joylyn Logistics Manager Norman Campo Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Guinto, Raven Dorado Logistics Officer Lorie Francisco Production Graphic Artist Louis Arenas CREATIVE SOLUTIONS Logistics Supervisors Fidel Mitra, Marx Administrative Services Manager Managing Editor Marco Sumayao Barroga

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December 2016 rEaCtIons

Courts apart tHE BakaL gyM Is wHErE HEy you Found our I was never much of a basketball fan but It’s at! EastEr Egg! ever since I caught a glimpse of Rizza Diaz I really agree with your article about bakal What’s going on, FHM? Someone’s not on TV during a game my brothers were gyms, mas okay talagang magbuhat sa paying attention to his/her work! Now watching, I was hooked. I have a massive mga ganun. The people are a lot humbler you’ve ruined my collection! crush on her and even though my interest and have proper etiquette when using the anson Chua tiong, via email in basketball is next to non-existent, I could equipment. I mean, saan ka ba makakakita probably just listen to her talk all day long. ng natutulog sa machine para magpahinga? ErratuM Congrats on your awesome cover, Rizza! I also hate it when people flex in front of the Sorry about that, bro. Jason Lopez, via Facebook mirror and grunt like they’re lifting ten times We just loved our issue their body weight. Bakal gyms are the best 195 so much that we LEss Is MorE if you can get used to the body odor, that is, decided to publish it I just watched FHM’s behind the scenes ha ha! Peace! twice! Just kidding. But video and I must say that I’m quite John Carlo gaylican Ifurung, via here’s the bright side, you reminded us of two impressed. This is the first cover with two Facebook important things: our art girls since the new format and while they director needs to get aren’t baring too much skin, the two girls his eyes checked due to just ooze with so much sex appeal. his excessive Pokémon meiamaaroneismabriones, via GO playing (until now); Instagram and second, our 200th issue is coming up soon so you guys better be ready for something awesome.

6f & 7f Robinsons cybeRgate centeR toWeR 3 pioneeR complex, pioneeR st., fhm@summitmedia mandaluyong city /fhm.ph @fhmphilofficial /fhmphil .com.ph 1550

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V We Filipinos love the holidays so much that We spend halF the year preparing For it and then the rest oF the year celebrating it. that makes you Verge Wonder What Would happen HOW TO SOUND REAL SMART If every day were Edited by CHISE ALCANTARA [email protected] a holiday? Words: CHISE ALCANTARA photography: EVE BASWEL illustrations: JAMES ANDRES

Beat the system Holiday pay rates casual thrifty people would think of every day? obvious things such as year-long according to the labor code sales if christmas happened every of the philippines, employees day. but the true centavo-strangling working over the holidays must be scrooges will find any crack in additionally paid at least 30 percent the system just to hold on to their of their wage. so essentially, money. loads of companies have you’ll be earning more every day promos for free shipping during without doing more work. that is the holiday season. but when awesome until you realize that you shop, you might not notice small companies probably won’t the absurd amount they charge be able to afford to have that many (reaching thousands of pesos) for people on their payroll. laying off bulky products. What better time employees will become the norm, to be thinking of how to beat the then. may the odds be ever in your system than the season of giving? favor.

Heart attacks all You can’t escape around people a hundred grams of lechon hordes of people travel during equates to 375 calories and the holidays. according to 70mg cholesterol (according to reports by the national statistical myfitnesspal.com). but let’s be real: coordination board, the philippines who eats just a hundred grams of welcomed a record-breaking lechon? and when you add carbs 5,360,682 visitors in 2015. about like pancit and kakainin, that's at 550,000 of those came over during least 4000 calories. it isn’t rare december. now imagine hosting for Filipinos who eat a lot during that many people every month. the holidays to use, “minsan lang booked hotels, loaded restaurants, naman” as an excuse but when naia bursting at the seams. and your answer to, “gaano kadalas if you hate the traffic now, imagine ang minsan?” is, “all day, every day,” going through that every single that’s when things get a bit sketchy. day—oh wait, we already do. Verge

c ontemporA ry photogrA phy It’s easy to see why some photos Filipino aesthetic.” are beautiful when the subjects “This, to me…shows how are flowers or the night sky. But creative Filipinos are despite [a] what if it’s as mundane as a shortage of (quality) materials,” random rock? Unless you’re an art explains Marasigan. “Yero, wood, critic or SpongeBob Squarepants' old tires, plastic, etc., are used as best friend, Patrick Star, you anything. It also speaks of our city would probably never find a rock as unfinished.” interesting. Time to snap photos of some Photographer Czar Kristoff, garden pebbles and put together a however, lives to take photos of bato profile to impress some cute these and call them “makeshift artsy girls.

EXPLAINER All about the aesthetic What are all the cool kids looking at? Find out hoW to appreciate art in all its Forms

WORDS: LEX CELERA

Thank the Internet that you can air out everything you got to the rest of the world. Or maybe not. In this day of feed goals and #ahrt—“h” included—there are just some...things that make you cock your head at a 45-degree angle, squint your eyes, scratch your head, and go, “What the hell is that?” They are hung on the walls of the hippest galleries in town for all the cool kids to ogle. Take our hand and let’s try to find out what makes these creations so captivating.

Shock Art Martin de Mesa’s art definition of normal,” Martin de Mesa’s work explores experimental Alfred Marasigan, visual can count as shock art if performance art like artist and educator people are too close- Japanese Butoh, a form explains. “For the work minded about gender.” of Japanese dance of Jeona Zoleta, an It’s really out there theater. (Imagine grown emerging post-feminist to mess with your men painted in white painter, most of the head. “Audiences may convulsing onstage confusion is directed unknowingly participate looking constipated. On at girlhood which is a in the artwork. I think second thought, don’t.) time when females are what’s more shocking is “[This art form] under pressure to both that it ‘coexists’ with daily unsettles one’s conform and stand out. life,” shares Marasigan.

16 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph V A porwAVe If the Internet had the power to make an art form, it would be vaporwave. “The core of vaporwave is vaporwave music; the art goes hand-in-hand with the music for the complete vaporwave experience,” shares Aaron Silao, artist of the local vaporwave collective Virtual Barangay. “It is a counter- culture of the current design trend of the clean and minimalistic. Iconic vaporwave art—such as the Floral Shoppe album cover and Saint Pepsi’s “Enjoy Yourself” video featuring the Mac Tonight moon man—is dependent on the music they accompany. What makes vaporwave art special is that you cannot describe it (although there are the usual elements of Japanese text, italic Times New Roman, or electronics from the ‘90s or older). But if you want to condense the look of it into just one word, “aesthetic” would come pretty close, apparently. “Aesthetic is the beauty the online community sees in the fringes of the WorldWide Web,” says Silao. Did any of that make sense? The Internet is weird.

clockWise From top leFt Artifact from a Sidewalk Excavation, Czar Kristoff; Barracks Detail 2 and 3, Czar Kristoff; Vaporwave artworks, Aaron Silao; Screenshot of Class Picture, Tito and Tita, Shock art of Butoh

Video A rt/e xperimentA l film Local artist collective Tito & Tita point of view that’s willing to see are responsible for experimental what you know as art, as Marasigan films like Class Picture, which was points out. “As long as anyone is first shot in 16mm, the negatives open to questioning the way they projected on a screen, then see the world, they can be rewarded recorded with an HD camera. by confusing yet insightful art,” he “Sometimes films are even shares. installations or performances. Yeah, questions like, “Where do There are layers upon layers to people come up with this stuff?” be unpeeled. All it takes, then, is a

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 17 FHM Verge COMICS Cabin fever The boys had a good run...

#10 Cheers for fears ngo LI a C n LVI e ar T: M and

ory T s

18 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph FEEL THE CHILL, FEEL THE THRILL!

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USE tHE FORCE

Is this the film you are looking for? An AnAlysis of RoguE onE: A stAR WARs stoRy thRough thE lEns of A…

WoRDs: Ash MAhinAy

20 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph FrequeNT MOvIe FILM SNOb SerIeS Geek SIMPLe MAN wATCher

“Gareth Edwards “It’s secretly based off “It’s like the Star Wars “It’s a one-off aka di bitin directed it, he’s got Dark Forces! Dark equivalent of Marvel’s ang ending” style!” Forces!!” Guardians of the Galaxy!”

Gareth’s claim to fame was his The Expanded Universe or EU Just like how those kooky Rogue One is part of a series basically one-man army project was the collection of Star Wars Guardians are related but not of Star Wars Stories but it Monsters, which was a fresh books, games, animations, etc. present in the big picture of the doesn’t mean the other stories take on the…monster genre. You that were mostly “canon” or MCU, the events of Rogue One are sequels or prequels or probably haven’t seen that, just legitimate happenings in the are important but unseen. While even sidequels to it. It will like how you did not see the big franchise. Disney declared seeing Rogue’s Donnie Yen have a beginning and an end lizard for half the film in his 2014 the entire EU as non-canon kung fu stormtroopers alongside (spoiler: Bothan spies did it) reboot of Godzilla. Aside from alongside the announcement Rey might not be as weird that actually has closure rather style moves like that, Edwards of Episode VII, but Rogue as Rocket Raccoon machine than a staring contest on top likes to give his stories that One’s heroine Jyn Orso gunning goons from Captain of an island that leaves more intimate, gritty vibe that you also sounds suspiciously like 1995 America’s shoulder, spin-offs questions than answers. A won’t see much of in a gigantic PlayStation game Dark Forces’ are usually there to introduce a simple man can enjoy the film space opera like Star Wars. Jan Ors. And they both revolved safe space for a unique cast that he watched instead of furiously around stealing Death Star plans. shakes up the established hero theorycrafting what happened And had the presence of black- types of the main series. on the internet afterwards. clad Dark Troopers. And both Jyn and Jan are part of a ragtag mercenary bunch. Basically, it’s the first time we’re getting a big movie based off the EU content rather than the main plot even if the mouse won’t admit it.

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY IS OUT ON DECEMBER 15

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REAL TV Binge or cringe? NEtflix oRigiNal HatERs BaCk off May oR May Not BE youR NExt guilty plEasuRE

WoRDs: aNNE MaRi RoNquillo

Many a TV viewer would plop down on the with a full plot. inorganic way to “go viral” is one of despair, as couch to watch the pilot of new Netflix Original Ballinger has been satirizing Internet depicted in Miranda and her uncle’s misguided Haters Back Off only to give it a hard pass. We fame seekers for years through Miranda, thirst for fame. would even argue that between the tiresome and one can spot the irony in an instant. Outside the YouTube-verse, Miranda’s bad singing and the ol' too-dumb-for-the- Hers is a brand of physical facial comedy behavior is akin to children coming onto world bits on the first episode alone, this show similar to Maine Mendoza’s Yaya Dub. These noontime variety shows to display their talent. is unwatchable. But perhaps we should give exaggerated expressions coupled with the Even if these kids do so in earnest, we can some credit to the people who put Stranger purposely bizarre approach to makeup (lipstick often spot an Uncle Boy clapping, enabling, Things on our screens. on her ‘teech’) do to your eyes what nails on a and pushing. Haters Back Off is the origin story of chalkboard do to your ears. Miranda annoys the audience in driving Miranda, a wannabe Internet star who spends Miranda’s YouTube fans have always gotten the point home. TV viewers don't like that. We all of eight episodes trying to make her the point: there are people so high on their own like rooting for heroes, even if they turn out video viral—to the detriment of her family delusions they fail to see their lack of talent. The to be ruthless drug dealers like Walter White. and personal dignity. Miranda, the popular allure of YouTube fame and its accompanying An audience couldn't possibly love a show Internet character played by comedienne perks—anywhere from sponsorships to street that makes it hard for them to sympathize with Colleen Ballinger, already has a huge YouTube cred—can haunt those who pine for recognition. anyone in the screen, and yet we are being following in real life. Haters Back Off aimed to Contrived plot elements aside, the series does forced to swallow Miranda’s sob story by the quillo

translate that into a workable television series portray the struggle though ineloquently. The end of the season. N i Ro R

BRAIN BECausE you’ll NEvER HavE as Ma FOOD Catch up on a good read MuCH fREE tiME as iN tHE HoliDays aNNE : s RD o W

Here I Am Welcome To When Breath Harry Potter Elon Musk: Dark Matter by Slade House By Jonathan Night Vale by Becomes Air by and the Cursed Inventing The Blake Crouch by David Safran Foer Joseph Fink Paul Kalanithi Child by John Future by The premise of Mitchell Foer extracts and Jeffrey Drown your Tiffany and Ashlee Vance this novel makes Invite yourself human interest Cranor Kalanithi’s Jack Thorne Ashlee Vance it sound like a into Slade House and emotions The strange posthumous Fans were not argues that Netflix Original: with a bottle of out of compelling town of Night memoir in one left hanging as Elon Musk is man wakes up whiskey. Anyone backgrounds; Vale attracts of this year’s the Potter magic our generation’s to find himself who goes in is in this instance, ghosts, aliens, hard-hitters. lives on to follow Edison, Ford, and in a different never seen again, the turmoil in and all sorts of What could be the adventures even Jobs. This dimension and and the house the Middle East. conspiracies. more tragic than of Harry’s profile of Musk must now find only re-appears In this multi- Uncover the a doctor with a descendants. brings a lot of his way back every nine years. generational mysteries that terminal illness? There’s much to questions about home. Don’t be If you’ve always family saga, riddle Jackie and Kalanithi lived be explored in technology and surprised if this wondered about the narrative Diane as they a short, full life; the mythology innovation to mind-boggling Hotel California, is gimmicky find out more this inspirational of Harry Potter the forefront. Is adventure/ then let this fill

but digestible, about the town bio should while downing a he shaping our thriller soon gets the void in your nationwide All books available in National Bookstore are though doused in and its residents. be required glass of pretend future? a movie or TV mind. melancholy. literature. butterbeer. adaptation.

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SECRET SPOT

The Oasis faNCy tHE u lti MatE lifE REfREsHER WitHout lEaviNg tHE MEtRo?

WoRDs: asH MaHiNay

In the heart of the city–at the tip of Ayala Avenue to be precise–is a gleaming high-tech institute that facilities and world-class staff. cleanse and reboot your system wouldn’t look out of place in those If you’re wondering what the Aegle Wellness Center without the stress of planning futuristic sci-fi flicks where people difference is between that and has two locations: an actual vacation–or a hospital clone themselves for organs or an actual hospital, we have the at The City Club at confinement. Aegle’s detox implant false memories in their skulls. answer: better food. Alphaland Makati program will clean your blood Aegle Wellness Center ditches But really, Aegle’s focus is on Place, and at Balesin of toxins through stimulating the sinister services for something modifying your long-term lifestyle Island Club in Quezon. and resting your body’s natural more benign though–a scientific for preventive health–rather than Contact Aegle at systems like the intestines, liver, and individually tailored approach to panicking when you start falling aeglewellnesscenter. and skin. The end product is a wellness. If you’ve ever been told to apart, and helping you invest in com and recharged and relaxed you, and yourself, today, and stay fit rather facebook.com/ when people ask where you got just pop an ibuprofen when feeling AegleWellnessCenter sick, you know how good personalized than wait to get sick. your newfound healthy glow, you mom support feels in comparison; For starters, their can be totally nonchalant and coy now imagine care that’s taken to detoxification treatment is the and just reply, “Oh, just here in the next level with state-of-the-art equivalent of a vacation to the city.”

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STAY Live now: TUNED Gee Canlas ThE aCTREss anD YouTuBE vloggER has sERious Chops in CoMEDY iT’s no laughing MaTTER

WORDS: POng CaStillO PHOtOgRaPHY: PaOlO PineDa Of MiDnigHt BOnkeRS StYling: DeBRa BeRnaleS MakeUP: Janina DizOn HaiR: eMManUel HeRnanDez ii

26 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 27 Pulse

Gee Canlas wants to break the mold of sexy comediennes. However, that idea could be difficult to grasp, with her traipsing around in the GMA sitcom A1 Ko Sa ‘Yo in scant clothing. Gee gets candid and funny with equally captivating actresses while playing the role of an ex-overseas entertainer from Japan. “With A1, the challenge is not in pulling off the sexy-funny role,” says Gee. “Everyone takes care of how they look. Madali na makitang sexy ka o maganda ka. The real challenge is having real chops in comedy.” my uniqueness as a woman and as Now if you think a funny guy like Luckily, Gee is covered in that an artist. I was the ugly duckling; you may have a future with Gee, pay department. She’s a big fan of Tina the small, dark kid. So I [challenged] heed: Gee says that a guy has to be Fey and the satire Saturday Night myself to try and be good at what I street-smart to catch her attention. Live, she’s managed by the same do.” “And to be that, you have to have group that handles comediennes And good comedy is what she seen many things, have met a lot of Tuesday Vargas and Valeen does best in her one-woman online people…gusto ko yung mataba ang Montenegro, and she dubbed for show Gee TV (look it up: www. utak para witty banter can happen Eugene Domingo in Kimmy Dora. geetv.online!). There she pokes between the two of us.” “I draw inspiration from them fun on millennial-focused topics And that’s when you realize when it comes to my craft,” says Gee. such as communication problems, breaking the mold of an ordinary But her natural ability to tickle your relationship dynamics, and pop funny guy might just do you good in funny bone comes from something culture. “It’s self-deprecating because landing a date with a girl like Gee. more personal, though. “I’m the girl all Gee TV episodes are based on my “I may be funny, but I am an alpha who always has to prove herself first personal experiences,” she says. “And female. I can take a guy na alpha before people notice me. Looking I think it’s funny to other people rin…yung kaya akong basagin sa back, I’ve learned how to embrace because it’s relatable.” kalokohan at katatawanan.” FHM

28 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph Follow Gee at

www.geetv.online youtube.com/ geetvofficial facebook.com/ geetvofficial

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 29 30 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

G

Gent FHM’s B E A LAd IEs’ mAN

Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR [email protected] Updated

guideto Winninga woman's heart (AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH IT)

JOHN PAULO AGUILERA RIA REGINO OF FAT CAT STUDIO

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Introducing! Rose Turner

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHm 33 THey say THe only THing consTanT in liFe is cHange.

That applies to everything that exists—people’s sense of But still, romance boils down to the undeniable fashion, legal systems, cultural practices, even the world of connection between two people. The methods to winning dating. A lot has been revolutionized, albeit for now. her heart might’ve been altered through time, but the Focusing on the latter, finding the perfect mate in the essence of romantic love is unwavering. modern era has become far removed from the traditional FHM attempts to decipher the new-age dating scene harana, lola-wooing, and love letters on stationery. hoping to find out what has changed and what hasn’t Technology and society’s burgeoning sexual liberation since the advent of social media and promiscuity. Use have disrupted the customary love process. this as your guide to meeting your match and making the relationship work.

ASK FOR HER NUMBER No. How # Don’t. Wait, what? Let her know Know when to to 2 Apparently, “asking” for you’ve enjoyed stop. If you feel 1 her number puts you at your quick chat. she’s starting to make a disadvantage: you can All the more reason things up to dodge your HOW TO be easily rejected. Avoid CATCH HER ATTENTION for the two of you to request, maybe it’s time phrases like “Can I?” or continue talking to each to back off. In this case, “Is it okay?” Instead, just other. She will also she’s either taken or she The competition begins with give her your number or appreciate the flattery, thinks you’re taken. (Or your drawing power, the ability to tell her that you should as it suggests that she is she just doesn’t like you.) get noticed in a sea of potential swap digits. Confidence a good conversationalist. Forcing yourself on her partners. Hear it straight from the is key here. isn’t the solution. horse’s mouth, a.k.a. the female That’s when you follow members of the FHM staff, on up with a simple, “Give what usually turns their heads: me your number.”

He shouldn’t be trying to get my attention in the first place. Just carrying himself and dressing well is more than enough to intrigue me. He doesn’t need to be flashy at No. all.” —Pong, assistant 3 managing editor HOW TO

Less hair, less worries. PAY HER A Grooming is a reflection COMPLIMENT of a man’s personality. So if his hair is longer than ONLINE [mine] or the beard is too thick, then I may have to There’s a thin line pass.” —Rose, staffwriter between being a creep and being an admirer. I usually eavesdrop on Creepiness consists small talk to gauge if he of liking consecutive makes sense. More than profile pictures and old the looks, his ability to photos of her in one sustain a conversation go. That is shameless has more bearing when stalking. At least be [looking for] someone for low-key when checking keeps.” —Khat, staffwriter her out. Admiration shows in flattering her There’s no harm in with smart statements flashing those pearly rather than dropping whites. Women are drawn one-liners that to an approachable border on catcalling aura, which makes an (e.g. chicks, seksi). introduction easier for Moderation is key. Take both sides. It’s important it easy; don’t suffocate [for men] to not come off as intimidating.” —Eve, her with adoration. video producer

34 FHm DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph IMPRESS HER # No. 4 WITH YOUR How No. SOCIAL MEDIA to 7 HOW TO 6 HOW TO POSTS SEAL YOUR Puns and quips: surefire hits. Making her PROLONG TEXTING/ SECOND DATE laugh never fails. If her newsfeed is like everyone else’s CHATTING (AND THE NEXT these days, there will be too many negative news bits in ONES) there. Your posts with funny references or clever wordplay will be the easiest to digest. Because a simple “What’s up?” So she finally accepted can only get you so far, and not your invitation to go out. No ‘Dear diary’ moments. If you regularly everyone is interested in what’s The next question is, how fume on social media with kilometric whiny posts about happening to the country. If you can you ensure a follow- how badly life is treating you, imagine how you’re going wish to have a conversation that up? Honestly, you don’t to be when the two of you argue face to face. Also, could go on until the wee hours of need to be too fancy with remember this: if a girl is into tragic novels, she’ll always the morning, talk about these: fine dining or a bouquet of long-stemmed roses. Just pick a book over your sorry Facebook posts. • Funny GIFs and images In one do these simple gestures of Tinder sociologist Dr. Jess and she’ll be the one Grammar, please. Think [and spell-check] Carbino’s online articles, she asking you out in no time: before you click. You can always go all-Filipino or impress says that dropping graphics with your smart one-liners if you aren’t too sure of your and videos will increase • Fetch and drop her off. captions. interaction twice as much than When it comes to first regular text messaging. dates, most women still • Passion Nobody gets tired like it old school. babbling about his/her • Put down your phone. No. 5 HOW TO interests. Avoid talking too This should be automatic. much that she won’t have a The only time you’re CONVINCE HER PARENTS TO LIKE YOU chance to chime in. When you allowed to touch your come up for breath, it will be a Dr. Cely Magpantay, a psychologist at St. Luke’s phone is before the server good idea to find out what she Medical Center, says that dads have basic takes your official date likes as well. photo, and when you book protective instincts, so sometimes you come • Former flames Contrary to off as a threat to him—“taking ownership for a rental car after. popular belief, most people are • Pick up the tab. someone he’s cared for all his life.” quite open when discussing The modern woman has “To get on his good side, make him trust their failed relationships, which no problem paying for you by bonding with him over man activities,” is quite the compelling subject. her own meal, but some says Magpantay. Also, it won’t hurt to shell out The moment she goes into appreciate a gentlemanly some bucks for tita’s favorite chocolates. the details, it means she is treat. Besides, you’ll get to Get on their drift and stop seeming like an starting to trust you by sharing that phase anyway. intruder in their home. Good luck! something intimate with you.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHm 35 # 10 No.8 HOW TO HOW TO MAKE IT KISS OFFICIAL PROPERLY When all that's left to is to confirm There’s always room for your relationship, you have to broach improvement when it the subject during one of your comes to puckering up. conversations. Besides proper timing, That is why for tried there are ideal ways to carry out that and tested techniques in mini-proposal; here are samples of making out, we break what you should and shouldn’t tell down the last three her before changing your FB status. winners of the MTV Movie Awards Best Kiss: “Kelan mo ba ko sasagutin?” “Take your time; things like these shouldn’t be hurried. I’m willing to wait for your sweet ‘Yes.’”

“Ano na ba tayo?” “I treasure what we have right now, despite the lack The Twilight Saga: of proper labels. I just Breaking Dawn – Part want to tell the world how 1 (Kristen Stewart and much I love you.” Robert Pattinson) If your method can get a “I like you, and you like stone-faced Kristen to me. So what are we break out an emotion, waiting for?” then it must be that good. “I like how things are going between the two of us, and I would love to take it to the next level.”

No. 11 No.9 HOW TO HOW TO Silver Linings Playbook KNOW WHEN SHE’S (Jennifer Lawrence and RESOLVE CONFLICT Bradley Cooper) The READY TO DO THE only thing that ruined DEED that perfect smooch You can come up with the most sound arguments while was the piece of paper squabbling with your woman and still end up with her hating A recent study published in Tiffany (Lawrence) was you. Believe it or not, there’s a foolproof way to end all kinds the Journal of Personality holding. Make sure to of verbal tussle. and Social Psychology on 268 free up those mitts for an A 2015 study published in the Journal of Personality subjescts says that women are actually more into the deed emphatic embrace. and Social Psychology discovered something revolutionary, than you are. So the challenge at least for men. The study found out that responding to is just in decoding the signs women along the lines of, “I see where you’re coming from,” she gives you. can calm the storm and create a more peaceful environment • She invites you to her place to discuss your issues. or comes over to your place In this study, researchers analyzed 247 couples, asking more often. Especially if both them to identify things they usually fight over and then were of you live by yourselves. asked to try to resolve them. After the exercise, results • She gets extra touchy. It bared a pattern: those who felt like their partners made an can only point to her building We’re The Millers effort to reach out to them were happier in their relationship sexual tension and chemistry (Emma Roberts, Jennifer than their apathetic counterparts. in preparation for the main Aniston and Will According to the study, “If partners feel understood event. Poulter) This isn’t exactly by each other, there may be no need to fight in the first • She turns the flirting up. our idea of a kissing place. But when couples do find themselves in the midst Notice how naughtier her tutorial. But because it of fighting, perceived understanding can help attenuate the texts has suddenly become? involves Emma and Jen, negative effects of that conflict.” Clearly, she wants the D. FHm we’re not complaining.

36 FHm DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph Is she NAUGHTY or NICE? Better check that list twice.

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WHAT I KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

The tough softie ERIC TAI IS juST LIkE ANy REGuLAR SuPERHERo you SEE oN THE STREET: RouGH oN THE ouTSIDE BuT A TEDDy BEAR oN THE INSIDE

AS ToLD To MAAN D’ASIS PAMArAN | PHoToGRAPHy DAIrY DArILAG STyLING GeNIe rANADA-BAB ISTA | GRoomING ANNe CASTAÑO

He is a God-fearing, rugby-playing, dance Pick-up lines don’t really work on girls. There are girl “playas,” too, not just floor-slaying, muscle-bound Tongan—he [When I was single] I didn’t use pick-up lines guys. might as well be a superhero, if you ask per sé. I just approached girls and started What you need to do is never give your trust the women of the world. Eric “Eruption” Tai a conversation with them based on what to someone at the first get-go. Follow your used to be on your TV screen as one of the I thought they liked. This doesn’t usually heart, but use your mind, too. Love exists but co-hosts of It’s Showtime. But this time, happen in a bar but in a quieter place, like it doesn’t mean that if you are on cloud nine fans are supporting him and his wife Rona a coffee shop or a bus stop. If I saw a girl after your first couple of dates, you already Samson’s bid for road warrior on season 5 reading Stephen King’s It, I have to give your all. Love has of AXN’s The Amazing Race Asia. would know that she likes to be developed as well as “When I was a kid growing up in New horror and she likes it rough. I ‘You can’t trust. That goes hand in hand. Zealand, sports was the only thing going just went up and asked her if My wife and I were in the for a lot of kids on the street; it was about she saw the movie, something be tough getting-to-know stage for eight playing basketball or rugby,” says Eric. like that. months before we became “When I was about 3 or 4, I was playing and not a couple. And we waited a outdoors a lot. By the time I was in high With smart women, obvious year and a half before getting school I was into a lot of sports including compliments don’t work show Your engaged; then waited a year rugby, cricket, volleyball, and track and as well as “sensitive-guy” after that to get married. field. Who you surround yourself with is compliments. emotions at what you become and all my friends were I would compliment women I believe what girls are athletes.” on something not as cliché all; that’s looking for is a balance Since then, Eric’s been a sales as “You have beautiful eyes.” between the tough guy and consultant for a gym (where he went I’d ask about the shirt she’s not good the sensitive guy. from 170 lbs. to 220 lbs. of pure muscle), wearing or her glasses. How You can’t be tough and not a missionary for the Church of the Latter she responds will clue you in if show your emotions at all; Day Saints, a security guard, factory she likes you. If she just says, that’s not good. [Girls] like worker, a night club manager, a dancer, “Thank you,” that means she’s a guy who can be tough an honorary Filipino, a TV co-host, and not interested. If she asks a when the situation calls for finally, a rugby player for the Philippine question of her own, that means she’d like to it, someone who can make a stand when it national rugby union team (the Volcanoes, keep the conversation going. counts. But it’s also nice to have a calm, soft for short). side, too. That said, some girls can be just as He shares with us all he knows about Older women are attracted to big guys. brutal [as tough guys]. women—and we tell you, the guy knows While girls get scared and think that I am what he’s talking about. unapproachable, I have also found that older Women are into real men. women are attracted [to big guys like me], For me, it’s not about the muscles or because I guess they haven’t met anybody machismo. A real man is God-fearing. He Girls like men who know how to dance. my size before and they find it appealing. knows what he wants, he won’t stop until [Dancing] really is an attraction. I would Obviously with these guys being big, [the he gets it, but at the same time knows his say that [this talent] is something unique I women] expect rough times. Sometimes we limits. He knows when to calm down and possess. Girls get to see a lighter side of me might get a little bit rough, let’s just keep when to rage and stand up. He knows his and become less intimidated. Guys approach it at that. What they don’t know is that I’m responsibilities and knows what he needs to me too, like “Astig ito ah! Ang galing mo!” It a big teddy bear. Not all women like buff do to better himself. If he is in a relationship, helps to start up a conversation. guys, though. Some want someone who’s he does what he can to protect that comfortable with themselves. relationship.

38 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 39 Gent PHOTOGRAPHY: KEVIN CAYUCA PHOTOGRAPHY:

Sex DOSSIER Femme Fatale A sAlAcious encounter with A strAnger uncovers her nAughty side

Anna Cruz, 21 Brandon: Hello Me: Hey, what’s up? Brandon: Not much. Brandon: How much have you been thinking about the balcony? Makati Me: Ha ha! You have no idea. 8:00 p.m. Brandon: Want to catch dinner this Friday? My place? Me: Yeah, sure. I was 21 when I found out my boyfriend of three years was cheating on Me: Where is your place again? me. I was upset about it for some time. But I decided I needed to move Brandon: Ah, you don’t remember… not a surprise. on for the sake of self-preservation. So when my friend Matt asked me to come to the birthday party of his soccer teammate, I didn’t hesitate. That Friday, I rang his doorbell, and he opened the door in his shorts Matt and I are kind of best friends—a first-degree friendship that was and a sando. We sat on the couch, fumbling at small talk as the tension precious to him. When I got to the party, I didn’t know anybody there but between us began to fire up. Finally, he kissed me. I crawled on top of him. The celebrant was Brandon, a half-British-half-Filipino guy working him, sitting on his lap. I could feel him getting hard underneath me, the in a bank in Manila. And the party was filled with other guys like him: bulge warm and firm. He was six years older than me, and he handled rowdy, merry athletes, mostly foreigners sent as expats to work in the city me with an authority that was irresistible. He lay me down on the who found solace in sports. couch, removing my panties as he ran his lips along my thighs down. He When the party was wrapping up, Matt and Brandon and I, along with continued to eat me as he thrust his fingers inside. I threw my head back a few other girls, decided to ditch the bar and head back to Brandon’s with pleasure. apartment. We drank some more before people began to fall asleep. I He was strong and seemed experienced. He grabbed my arm and decided I had sobered up and it was time for me to go home, so I went pulled me outside, onto his balcony again, where it all began. He spun me up to Brandon to say goodbye. He was sitting in the dining area, drunk, around and pushed my bare chest against the railing. We were both naked when he looked up at me; he put his hand on the inside of my thigh and in the dead of night. “This is what you want, right?” he asked roughly. told me to stay. He asked me to accompany him out to the balcony so he “You’re dangerous,” he said. Dangerous. I liked the way it sounded could have a smoke. even if it felt foreign to my ear. When we got out, he smiled at me as he took a few puffs on his We moved into the bedroom. Brandon was romantic with his words, cig. Without a word, he leaned in and kissed me. I was shocked by the but brutal with his actions. He took me to the bathroom and placed me on aggression, but I kissed back. He hiked up my short skirt, pushed aside the countertop, and he fucked me while he watched in the mirror. I came. my thong, and casually slid his fingers inside me. I quietly moaned in his Back in the bedroom, he told me to lie down, moving his crotch close mouth as his lips muffled my cries. I pushed him away. “No… I should go,” to my face. “Put my balls in your mouth,” he commanded, as he kneeled I said, knowing it was the right thing to do down close to my face. I cupped his balls with my lips. I came again. He stepped back and sighed, “Yeah, no…we can’t do this…you We finished about 30 minutes later. I lay next to him completely spent should go.” but satisfied. Then his phone rang, and he exited the room to take the call. I looked up at him. “You’re cute,” I said. He smiled back at me, “You’re `“Hallo,” he exclaimed excitedly, sincerely—it was his girlfriend on the dangerous.” other line. I knew he had a girlfriend all along. She was at the birthday The following week at work, all I could think of was Brandon. I party. They talked while I lay on their bed, in their apartment—an intruder. couldn’t get the memory out of my head, getting turned on at the An intruder who was sickeningly pleased with herself, and already most inappropriate hours. Then one day, as I sat in my office cubicle, a dreaming of the next encounter. message popped up on Facebook. It was from him.

40 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

witness ellen adarna

bask in the glory of complete freedom

Venus Unbound photography mark nicdao

words anton deen U mali styling danae danipon assisted by Joy bernardo of styliZ ed stU dio

makeU p mickey see

hair rJ dela crUZ of toni eVangelista salon assisted by francis de J esUs

shot on location at Zambawood beach hoUse, san narciso, Zambales www.zambawood.com

acknowledgements: belo medical groU p, artistiQUe health specialist, posh nails, hairshaft salon for hair color, prettylooks permanent eyebrows

special thanks to ms. Van soyosa

IT WAS THE BLISTERING HEAT of the Zambales sun that tried to upstage Ellen Adarna during her third FHM cover shoot.

Everything was serene—the lush greenery, wild flora, We didn’t want to make Ellen suffer. The cover could an expanse of sand and stone and rolling clouds on the wait. Everyone agreed we could always reschedule and horizon. As rays of splintering light from above shone that it might be a good idea to pack up and head home to through the pine branches, the scent of dry woodland Manila. grass escaped from beneath her feet. But there was no But Ellen Adarna wasn’t going to succumb to the reprieve from the unforgiving humidity. It was sweltering elements. She knew what was required of her and to her hot. A temperature so palpable that both talent and crew credit, she was determined to be professional about it, were melting. fainting spells be damned. After just an hour of getting it We were only twenty minutes into the proceedings to together, she was back to her old self—game, excited, and be exact. Stark naked, with only thorny vines to barely (a wee bit) embarrassed to let everyone down. cover what was needed, the Cebuana heiress-turned-actress “I guess it makes me happy that people perceive me that remained a vision in front of the camera. With each shot, way [a pro]. Pag ganitong shoot na more skin and nude, she seemed to resemble wala naman akong Mother Nature at her issue. It’s also because strongest: fiery yet I’m comfortable with benevolent, reckless yet Mark (Nicdao) as the in control. photographer and with And then Ellen the FHM team since Adarna fainted. I’ve been working with “I don’t know exactly you guys for a long what transpired,” she time. Actually, I wasn’t recalls. “At first, I was expecting the elements okay. Mainit lang. And to be so harsh. I had then, all of a sudden, to go on a diet for this every time I’d blink, shoot, and I didn’t know paitim na nang paitim we were going to be yung nakikita ko. under the heat of the ‘Parang mahihimatay sun.” yata ako, kailangan ko Funny thing is, as ng tubig,’ I remember soon as Ellen was up thinking to myself. And and ready to continue then I collapsed. I was with the shoot, the no longer in front of weather changed just the camera. I was no as quickly as her mood. longer in the frame.” The sky suddenly Panicked, everyone turned dark, the heat rushed to take Ellen of the sun replaced back to the Zambawood by angry clouds that mansion, a sprawling poured heavy rain. And ranch estate that in the middle of the included a beach, a small madness was our cover forest, and an enviable girl, enjoying every stretch of farmland, minute of the downpour which served as the as the lens captured location headquarters. and immortalized the She was given food, moment. Inspired by her water, and sugar in her carefree attitude, the air-conditioned room. crew decided it would be She was dehydrated, and a shame to not join in. was asked to rest. Ellen paid no mind to the tempestuous waves that came crashing in her direction.

ELLEN’S TEMPERED WORK ETHIC, the reputation for being a risk-taker, is also apparent in her growth as an actress. No longer is she boxed into the archetypal sexy comedienne up for a quick laugh. She has evolved into an actress with depth, as proven in her work in The Greatest Love, where she is the younger Sylvia Sanchez, a woman suffering from Alzheimer’s, but whose memories may as well be gone because it is fraught with trauma. Given the demands of the role, and having to work with a veteran actress, we wouldn’t blame Ellen if she had shirked from cowardice. But Ellen, brave as ever, decided to take the challenge, and the reception has been positive. “You know what, drama is somewhat easier for me,” Ellen explains. “I was shocked. After I experienced doing drama, mas gusto ko na siya. It’s very demanding. It’s very demanding “There was a time when I thought that looks were more physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nakakapagod, pero important. We all pass that phase. And parang kinain ako mas madali para sa akin. Mas mahirap magpatawa. Pag nung phase ko na yun. I was negative. Galit ako sa mundo. sinabi sa akin magpa-sexy ka, I feel pressured because Then, I realized when I got older, that there’s really no sometimes I don’t know what that means. Siguro rin kasi point dwelling on the bad stuff. I’ve learned that everything ang dami kong pinagdaanan in life na hindi pa alam ng is going to be okay. If you’re in showbiz, you’ll be trained. mga tao so mabilis ako humugot.” Masasanay ka. Negativity is always around you and people Despite the very heavy material she needs to tackle on a will try to bring you down. I think I’m stronger because of daily basis, Ellen can still radiate joy to any room she’s in. showbiz.” That she’s allowed to purge herself of negativity through Growing up having only brothers in a privileged the show is something she sees as a blessing. When they household molded her into the carefree individual she has wrap, she finds comfort in the fact that she’s calm and become. That much she knows. She’s comfortable around collected because all the hate has been spewed through the boys, and her no-fuss manner of dealing with obstacles mouth of Gloria, the character she plays. She also claims to that get in her way is evidence of this. Once notorious for draw inspiration from her own experiences. And it’s hard being a stiletto-wearing, fist-pumping party girl, she’s now to believe that a woman like Ellen—gorgeous, talented, and traded in the all-night ragers fueled by overflowing alcohol charismatic—was insecure once upon a time. She admits for a more mature approach to life. Not to say she no she was shallow when she began in show business, but longer knows how to let her hair down and dance with the that she was also young. She was in an awkward phase, devil; but the wild beauty who used to close down Cebu and confused about what to do with her life, always hearing Manila’s most popular clubs and electric raves has realized people compare her with others. that in order to maintain a healthy sense of self, she needs to kick off her heels. Ellen, it’s safe to assume, has finally found equilibrium. “Before, I wasn’t like this. I was always into extremes. When I stopped partying hard, I felt responsible for myself. It was because of the partying na nawawala ako sa mundo. It’s more fun to be bad, but because I am nearing my thirties parang hindi na bagay. Suddenly, things became smooth-sailing. The fun side, now that’s just really who I am as a person. It comes natural to me.” And it is also this fun side that has sometimes courted controversy. Even when she is just being herself, the public tends to bear down on her, either double-tapping or disapproving of her decisions. This is the price of fame.

ELLEN IS STILL SO POPULAR ON THE INTERNET

that her every move is met with likes, troll comments, or online articles that attempt to dissect her pure magnetism. Whether she’s posting a skinny dipping snap on Instagram, prepping herself for the Star Magic Ball, or kissing the country’s First Bachelor in public, the masses can’t seem to separate themselves from the obsession. This is nothing new to Ellen, whose star rose from the depths of an old digital realm: Friendster. She was Internet-famous before the term was part of the local lexicon. She was cyber-bullied before it was even considered a crime. Her pictures were stolen, some used to solicit money from strangers. She magically gained boyfriends she’d never even met. Sketchy men would send her cheap underwear and threaten her if she didn’t agree to meet up with them. She was slut-shamed (and is still being slut-shamed). And she was still in high school when all this happened. Shame. “Inis ako nung time na yun,” she remembers. “I didn’t understand. Why would people use my name or steal my pictures? I was still studying and didn’t know what was going on in the world back then. Social media is pretty powerful.” The key to Ellen Adarna’s infamy, it should be noted, is in her authenticity. She does not try. She just is. Most of her videos have gone viral for a reason: she doesn't look like she's faking it. “Walang wala na sa akin yung mga yan [the online haters]. They don’t matter because my friends love me, my family loves me. I have a strong foundation and support group. But there are times pag paulit-ulit, it affects me negatively so I just block them.” Now that she’s transitioned from Internet fame to mainstream stardom, she’s chosen to focus on her work rather than choke on the miasma of vitriol that comes with the job. She’ll be starring in the teleserye Langit Lupa alongside Patrick Garcia, in a bida-kontrabida role that will add to her growing portfolio as an industry heavyweight. She can’t hide the excitement when she expounds on playing the villainess, traces of the bad girl of yesteryear coming out to make her presence felt. “Girls like me can’t be controlled,” she says, a playful, but also sinister, smirk animating her face. “I will change when the right time comes. But now, you just need to watch me grow.” FHM

! TONIC for the GINS $ Turns out, all Ginebra needed to get out of the swamps was a coach who makes winning championships seem so easy

WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY Winston Baltasar

STYLING DEBra BErnalE s SPecIAL THANkS TO JasE r Marasigan The word ‘kangkong’ never entered our conversation with Coach Tim Cone,T even if his Barangay Ginebra San Miguel boys were relegated to the lowly vegetable by critics at one point. Anyway, no one would think to put them—PBA champions once again—in the kangkungan now. Interestingly, the man who steered the Gin Kings to their 9th championship—their first after eight years—has never been an assistant coach. Cone shot straight to the top coaching position when he began with the PBA more than two decades ago. It was an impressive move that required a lot of work to gain credibility among his players. “I haven’t seen a lot of coaches coach, so I don’t really know [how my style differs from theirs],” says Cone, the winningest coach in the PBA with 19 championships in his career. “It’s really been more trial and error and learning my own way; watching videos, reading about leadership, and such.” It did help that Cone isn’t a bad basketball player either. “I played college basketball in the States so I had to be fairly good,” he says. “In high school, I was a star; 20 points a game at least. That’s why I got my job. Because my boss at Alaska (Fred Uytengsu, Jr.) knew me as a basketball player. We went to school together.” turns these press cons into one-man the fans, the Jay [Helterbrand]-Mark A fan of NBA coaches Pat Riley open forums, no doubt fattening up [Caguioa] game, the finishing shot, and Phil Jackson (whom he has the sports articles about his games. the Japeth [Aguilar] shot in the San met a couple of times), Cone has his As for the recent championship Miguel series. There were so many own way of navigating the PBA, its that catapulted Ginebra back to its big moments that made this [win] fans, and the media. He knows how glory days, Cone is doing his best to special.” to control post-game press cons, for get over it. “I’m trying to forget about But how did they win? “I’m instance. When sports writers are it because we’re back in practice,” a big believer that defense wins done asking their questions, but Cone he says. “We want to move on; just championships,” Cone says. “We don’t still has something he wants to share, put the trophy in the lobby and walk just talk it; we walk it. That’s really he goes ahead and asks his own away. Although this championship important.” questions; which he then answers. He was the most spectacular; in terms of

68 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph We heard that when you were Ginebra fans are a cultural of the patterns that they ran. It took young, you always got picked last in phenomenon. They are the only a couple of years of trial and error basketball games. supporters of a PBA team whose and watching their games before I felt Well, that’s because I was the fandom is passed from father to son. that I mastered it. youngest—I was 12 or 13 and What are your thoughts on this? How did the mentorship with Tex everybody else was 18. I didn’t get Fans are generational. Ginebra had start? picked last because I was the worst such a huge following during the Tex Winter came to the Philippines in [player]. I was just fortunate to be Jaworski days and it was even passed 2000 on the invitation of Chot Reyes. playing with them. I think they let down from Meralco and Toyota into Since I was the primary Triangle guy me play with them because it was Ginebra. Obviously, the heyday here, we were introduced and became my ball. My mother knew that if I was generated through the Big J. good friends. I went to a couple of the brought a good ball, the best ball, Coaching Ginebra is like coaching the practices of the Los Angeles Lakers. then they’d invite me to play. You national team. You have so much at In that way, he became a mentor but I can’t get my ball then not let me stake. never worked for him. I [just] adapted play. [That] made me a better player Game 6 of the Governor’s Cup his system on my own. because I always played with older Finals, you’re down 11 at halftime. Have you always stuck with the guys. I was a little dribbling queen. I Were you expecting Robert Jaworski Triangle, though? liked to dribble. to enter the dugout? It wasn’t until four or five months ago How was it when you took over as Yes, we were. I’ve been around him when I veered away a little bit from Ginebra’s head coach? before. I coached against him for the Triangle system. In the finals, The first week I was with Ginebra, many years. I know how inspiring he we were taking enhanced principles we went down to Naga for a mall can be. And it was especially positive of the Triangle and [turned it into] visit and team building. I told the because I was really negative at the kind of a more current offense; a guys, “We have to organize how we time. We were down; we weren’t little more movement, a little faster go into the mall because it will be playing well. I yelled at the guys. He pace. But for 24 to 25 years, I’d been crazy. People will be all over us.” came in and he took the edge off. I running the Triangle. We got to the mall and there was was not capable of doing that at that You’ve got a bit of showtime here nobody outside. We walked into the moment because I was too angry with your Ginebra players. mall where we were supposed to do about the way we were playing. But I think that’s generally the league. autographs and picture taking and he came in and the players looked so But with the Triangle, we were there were like 150 to 200 people. much more relaxed when they came much more deliberate. [In the last I went, “This is not the Ginebra I out. We got back in the game very, conference,] we picked up the pace. know!” It was tough because the fans very quickly. And that was the key. It We’re not a running team; we’re a only knew disappointment over the didn’t take us a whole quarter to get half-court pace team. We run quickly last few years. I told the guys, “We back. into our pace. But we’re not really got to get the fans back. We got to Your Twitter account says “Tex a fast-breaking team. We want to be get the excitement back to the team. Winter protégé.” How did you more defense-oriented. It’s important And the only way we can do that is to learn the Triangle offense that Tex that we settle our defense so we run, win.” propagated? but we run back [too]. So the adulation is definitely back. I learned the Triangle on my own Coaching a championship team must This is what it was like when the Big back in the early ‘90s when the be an intense full-body workout. J [Robert Jaworski] was around. We Chicago Bulls were first becoming How do you relax? feel that if we can sustain this a little prominent.We beamed it in from You always have to decompress. I play bit, it could build up even more. I Clark with an antenna and I’d record tennis every day at 6 a.m. The guys I think the proudest moment in terms it on an old betamax [tape]. I knew hang out with there, they don’t bother of getting the fans back was after the there was something [the Bulls] were me about basketball. We just get out championship in the locker room. running. I didn’t know what it was there and play. It’s a great thing. In Sol Mercado came out and said, “You but it intrigued me so I tried to break the evenings, my wife and I go to the guys remember that time in Naga? it down. I recorded as many games movies; two or three times a week. Now look outside the door.” Mission as I could and [fast-]forwarded and Do you have a dark side, though? accomplished. rewound until I could figure out some If I say no, it’ll sound like [I’m a saint]. If I say yes, I have to give an example but I can’t think of one. The players see my dark side in the locker room. I try not to show that persona outside because I don’t want to embarrass the guys. My wife always “We got to get says I’m so passionate in the court during games but when I get home, the fans back. there’s no passion. I never get angry. We never fight. I’m very easy-going We got to get the off the court. My kids bring their excitement back to friends to the house and they’re like, “Oh, no! It’s your dad!” They’re scared the team. and the of seeing me. [But] I’m hanging out, so laidback, laughing and making only way we can do jokes. They’re like, “Is your dad that is to win.” always like that?” I’m super laidback.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 69 This isn’t just a Christmas thing—this is possibly lifelong obsession we’re seeing here

WORDS ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ

PHOTOGRAPHY KURT ALVAREZ AND MARK JESALVA

70 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph NAME: Michael Da Jose AGE: 34 JOB: Project manager at an IT company COLLECTING SINCE: He was probably five. His dad would buy him toys and have him do a roll call of them. Dad also collects LEGOs. WHAT HE HAS: Marvel Legends, Batman, Transformers (only Autobots), GI Joe, Star Wars (Jedi and Sith), Thundercats, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe Hot  Toys. “You will notice that while most of my collection belongs to the ’80s, I got the most modern versions of them. For me, they look aesthetically better, and the articulations are better,” says Da Jose, who admits to being very anal about the toy lines he collects. “I don’t have vintage versions—I appreciate nostalgia but when it comes to the actual figures, the quality of the vintage ones are inferior.” The guest room in the Da Jose house is the main toy lair, as is his bedroom—make that practically the entire house as his dad is also a collector (strangely, his twentysomething brother feels nothing for the toys. Yes, it’s possible). “When I set up this [guest] room, I had in mind mostly Marvel Legends, it’s a six-inch figure line that I’m really into right now. I can say that currently these are my main line. Maybe I have around 500+ of them—there are many not on display here. “There’s Batman. What I like about Batman is that he has a vast rogue’s gallery; lots of allies as well. I have figures from the comics line, the video games, the most recent iterations in the comics, and of course the movie figures, which I consider as high-end already. I have Batmobiles, who doesn’t like Batmobiles, right?” Da Jose keeps to a regular buying schedule. “I spend about P10,000 a month. I don’t buy in retail anymore. Most of my stuff comes direct from local toy shops these days. I just tell them to sign me up for a specific line when they arrive.” TOTAL NUMBER OF TOYS HE HAS: A little bit above 2000. HOW MUCH THEY’RE WORTH: “I am not even going into that.”

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 71 TOTAL NUMBER OF TOYS HE HAS: Close to 5000. Eighty percent of it is in his home in Ayala, Alabang; the rest is in Tagaytay. HOW MUCH THEY’RE WORTH: “About the price of two Toyota Vios,” Earl says. That’s about P1.5 million.

NAME: Earl Madriaga AGE: 41 JOB: His family owns a drug store and a real estate business. COLLECTING SINCE: 1995. Not stopping yet. WHAT HE HAS: Action figures, ships, vehicles, light sabers, Hot Toys. Star Wars occupy prime space, but there are Marvel toys, too.

“Why do I like Star Wars? The special effects! When I saw Return of the Jedi in 1984, I’d never seen anything like it. When you’re a kid you never really care about the storyline, it’s about the effects!” After which Madriaga’s dad bought him a miniature X-Wing Fighter. “I still have Wars. The first toys that came out then were the it with me.” He really did. He showed us a really Bend-ems [bendable toys]—I was craving for action aging but still working toy. figures but that had to do, sopinagtiyagaan ko Why Madriaga only began collecting Star yun. Then Micro Machines came out [small toys of Wars toys in1995 is also the backstory of the toy Star Wars spaceships and vehicles) and I collected industry. that, and then they released the action figuresna “Return of the Jedi was the last movie, then hinahanap ko dati pa.” nawala yung hype, what I saw were cartoons on Exactly how serious is he as a Star Wars fan? TV—GI Joe, Transformers, He-Man—dumaan ako “I named my kids after Star Wars characters.” dun. My craving for Star Wars couldn’t be sated There’s more. because there was no merchandise. In 1991 a The husband-and-wife bed has a headboard book called Heir to the Empire was released [a carved with the design of, not a heart, but “the Star Wars novel] and that revived my liking for Star Imperial logo.”

72 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph NAME: Myke Dela Paz AGE: 38 JOB: Full-time custom toy artist COLLECTING SINCE: The early ‘90s. WHAT HE HAS: Marvel, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones.

TOTAL NUMBER OF TOYS You have to see Dela Paz’s before-and-after HE HAS: Upwards of a gallery on his Facebook page (facebook.com/ thousand. He still buys toys, phoenixforcecreations) to see why he’s the go-to although he mostly finds guy for customized toys even if he doesn't like something to improve on. to take the credit—the factory toys look like sad HOW MUCH THEY’RE failures compared with his very alive and very WORTH: He’s not keeping detailed creations. tabs as well, but it doesn’t “My forte is creating faces. Dun kadalasan matter because he makes napapatingin ang mga tao. I want my creations in money off them anyway. “I full detail. And gusto ko yung buhok very dynamic.” charge foreign clients $150 Dela Paz has used his Fine Arts background from for a customized toy. Local FEU to good effect. He sculpts very defined muscles clients get 30 percent off!” from putty and uses fine paintbrushes to detail facial features, veins, shadings, the entire masterpiece. “For example, si Black Widow pinaganda ko yung buhok, iniba ko yung shape ng katawan para mas sexy, or si Hulk mas pinalaki ko yung muscle, nilagyan ko ng mga ugat, mas galit ang mukha. Also the paint is better than factory paint,” Dela Paz says. He shows us a gallery of Marvel heroes. “This collection started in 2009, and my main focus right now. Hangga’t maaari lahat ng mga Marvel characters meron ako, even the obscure characters that I have not seen been made into action figures, ginagawa ko para ma-complete ko sila.” His piece de resistance? Himself. “I made a four-inch figure of myself para kasama ko yung mga figuresko . The head comes from Obi Wan Kenobi, ginawa kong mukha ko. Other parts came from GI Joe. I painted my favorite shirt on it, kaya malalaman ng mga tao na ako yun!” FHM

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 73 Tokyo Bike There’s a picture here of another bike, lower right. (Fuse 650, 54,500) It’s sporty. You could buy that instead, but we say get a Tokyo Bike. Why? Because it has bullet headlights and a bell. Has fine English leather saddles that go with a stylish bag. Overall, it has that hip retro look. Which means it doesn’t require you to wear lycra shorts that flaunt your nuts. Which means when girls stare at you, it’s because of the bike, `not your nuts. They will want to ride it. You’ll let them. You’ll assist them. Score!

Tokyo Bike Single Speed P53,999, Maximus Athlete’s Shop Cafe

74 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph FHM

GIFT YOURSELF WITH SOMETHING DIFFERENT. T HAT MEANS NOT ANOTHER PHONE!

WORDS FHM TEAM

PHOTOGRAPHY MARK JESALVA PS4 Pro and PS VR 4K hasn’t unseated 1080p yet, but the bar of entry has dropped quite a bit this 2016. Naysayers will say, “There’s no need to go 4K yet!” But once you’ve actually gamed at 4K you’ll realize they’ve been talking through gritted teeth. Get your 4K-ready PS4 Pro now and get the PS VR while you’re at it because would you rather be known as that “rational guy” or someone ahead of the curve?

Both for P22,900, Sony Stores

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STAR WARS Death Star™ One look at a LEGO model as majestic as the STAR WARS Death Star™ drives the point even further that toys aren’t being produced for kids anymore. We mean, what kind of child has the moolah and patience to assemble this 3000-piece master craft? According to Atty. TL Guanzon of PinoyLUG, not only does the set look awesome, the playability of this thing provides hours of entertainment past building it.

P24,850 + shipping, shop.lego.com

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Restored VW Kubelwagen Got a weakness for vintage European cars, trucks, and jeeps? This former military vehicle belonged to the fleet of VW military vehicles built during World War II. But look at it now: no signs of battle weariness. The restoration magic was done by Jules Chanco. He specializes on restoring European cars.

Visit Macsport Auto Shop at 83 Gen. Segundo St., Heroes Hill, Quezon City

78 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph Breville Barista Express Making your morning drink using this semi- automatic espresso machine will definitely label you as a coffee elitist. But who cares? Its built-in grinder has 16-grind settings (from fine to coarse); its milk- frothing apparatus takes just 30 seconds to come up to steam for your cup of cappuccino; it’s easy to use and clean because its manual is not in Russian and it comes with its own cleaning tools; and it even has a cup-warming surface that pre-heats your coffee mug. With a machine like this at home—which isn’t bad on the eyes, either— you’ll never want to get coffee anywhere else.

P39,990, True Value

Russian Beluga Caviar Most people don’t realize that if you eat like a slob at the fancy dinner parties you’ll be hosting then it won’t matter how classy you look. Level up your horderves by serving up some stergeon beluga “black gold” caviar and serve it up on some healthy yet flavorfulampalaya chips for that local flavor. They say if you eat the caviar properly, you can taste 15 different flavors from a single egg, ranging from buttery to fruity.

P32,000 per 50 grams, caviarexpress.com

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Fitbit Blaze and Fitbit Charge 2 If you’re spoiling yourself with smart tech wearables this season, at least be smart about it. After all, these stuff are worth a good bucks. Now Fitbit has been at the market for a while, but what gives these two the extra oomph? On-screen workouts for the Blaze, Guided Breather Seassions for Charge 2, PurePulse™ Heart Rate and Multi-Sport Tracking for both, among other things.

Charge 2, P8,490; Blaze, P9,999, Digital Walker

80 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph Vans Limited Editions Getting yourself a pair of shoes is almost a given this Christmas. But going all-in and splurging on a limited edition pair? Not guaranteed. We say just give in to your desires and chase after the one-off’s rather than contenting yourself with the vanilla model.

Old Skool Pro 50th Anniversary, P3,498; Full Cab Pro 50th Anniversary, P4,498; Old Skool DX Veggie Leather, P4,698, Vans stores

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 81 WORK DOING

PHOTOGRAPHY: KEVIN CAYUCA WORDS: ASH MAHINAY

STYlING: BADj GENATO HAIRSTYlING: MARA ASHIDA MAKEUP: jANINA D Iz ON AND VANESSA E STOR-SAlVADOR S HOT ON lOCATION AT THE CITY ClUB AT AlPHAlAND PlACE MAKATI KEY TRAJANO 2016 SPONSOR BABES

84 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph HUST l E

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MASTER YOUR LOOK

Edited by ASH MAHINAY mikeyashlie.mahinay@ summitmedia.com.ph

Seeking guidance at the end of a crazy year? Well even your z odiac haS changed apparently. h ere’S our guide to acknoW ledging your neW S tarbound deS tiny

and hoW to dreSS accordingly

SIGNSillustrations: WARREN ESPEJO & JOHN LAURENCE PATULAN photography: DAIRY DARILAG styling: DEBRA BERNALES model: BRYAN DELROSARIO CANCER (July 20 to August 10) Moody, possibly a mother’s boy Shirt, Iron and Resin, P4,999.75 Cap, Stoked P599.75 PISCES Chill, creative (March 11 to April 18) Tanktop, Forever21 Men, P805; Nike SB, P4,036 Jacket, Fred Perry LEO CAPRICORN Wants to rule the world Hard worker, occasional tito (August 10 to September 16) (January 20 to February 16) Tee, Ripcurl P2,099.75 Polo, Ripcurl, P2,799.75; Denim shorts, Lee Pipes, P699 Nike SB Stefan Janoski, P5,074

GEMINI LIBRA Two-faced...or adaptable Crazy (June 21 to July 20) (October 30 to November 23) Cap, Deus P1,699.75; Polo, Ripcurl, P2,599.75 Polo, Vurve; Denim Jacket, Levi’s Nike SB, P5,405 AQUARIUS ARIES Independent, hippie Likes to butt heads (May 13 to June 21) April 18 to May 13) Bandanna, Iron and Resin, P1,249.75, Shorts, Stoked, P2,699.75 Polo, Banana Republic Tank, Stoked, P1,199.75

SCORPIO OPHIUCHUS Loves human interaction Glitzy (November 23 to November 29) (September 16 to October 30) Tee, Ripcurl P2,099.75; Tank, Ripcurl, P1,699.75; Nike SB, P5,167 Shorts, H&M, P999; Nike SB, P4,786 Jacket, Stylist’s own TAURUS Lazy, materialistic (May 13 to June 21) Tee, Ripcurl, P2,499.75 SAGITTARIUS Player, optimistic (December 17 to January 20) Suit, H&M; Shirt, Ripcurl, P2,599.75 VIRGO Clean freak, realistic (September 16 to October 30) Shirt, H&M; Tee, Pull & Bear; Shorts, Bhig Buda, P1,959 LIFE ON THE UPSWING

Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR [email protected] CHILI HEADS UNITE!

A gAggle of pepper crAzies hAve decided to bAnd together And grow their own hot stAsh

words: chise A lcA ntA r A | photogrA phY: JonA thA n b A ldonA do

102 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph Two years ago, seven friends who also happened To be chili enThusiasTs sTarTed a facebook group called c hilliheads philippines. Their aim was jusT To Talk abouT and grow chili. Two years and Three chili fesTivals laTer, only one of The seven friends is sTill acTive in The c hilliheads. b uT he’s sTill more Than happy To share his ThoughTs on chili. af Ter all, he regularly does ThaT wiTh his 5,500 new friends from all over The philippines and from abroad—all broughT TogeTher by Their love for a single hoT planT.

The man we’re talking about is Ponchit themselves. All they needed was someone they actually have some control over how Ponce Enrile, or Kuya Chili to his to initiate everything,” explains Enrile. “Our hot their chilies turn out. They even use the Chillihead friends. To say he likes plants members post their sprouts on international Scoville scale—which measures the “hotness” is an understatement. “When I joined the planting groups’ [sites] and most foreigners level of a chili (or anything derived from Chilliheads, I was already a [member] of are impressed with what our members have chilies) in Scoville Heat Units, or SHU—to many other gardening groups like Native planted. Some of them even send seeds over rate their chilies. Fruit Trees and the Philippine Fruit Council,” kasi sobra silang natuwa sa sprouts namin.” “Different growers prefer different levels Enrile says. of heat,” says Enrile. “The hottest pepper that “Eventually, the Chilliheads gained is naturally grown is the Carolina Reaper, it’s more members because we kept sharing about 2,200,000 SHUs but no one wants to our [Facebook] posts with other gardening It’s a man’s world eat that because it’s not just about the heat. groups,” he continues. “But I noticed that With that said, every grower still wants to even though the likes on our posts were “It’s not easy growing chili. I think that’s what grow the hottest chilies but it’s more [to get] increasing, no one was actually growing any attracts men so much to this hobby. When just bragging rights,” explains Enrile. chillies. I thought, ‘What’s the point of having you think about it, chilies are a very macho So how do you make the hottest chilies? a chili group if we don’t plant anything?’ So plant to grow,” says Enrile. Most members “The more stressed a chili plant is, the hotter I imported seeds myself and sold them to of Chilliheads Philippines are predominantly its chilies become. You can deprive it of our members at a good price. After that, middle-aged men. That’s why every festival water, cut off its leaves, etc., just as long as everyone suddenly wanted to start growing looks like a very green inuman session with you don’t kill it,” explains Enrile. But before their own chilies,” recalls Enrile. the hottest plate of pulutan you’ll ever see—a you start growing ghost peppers by the truck, “We never really expected it to become hundred raw pieces of siling labuyo. it is important to consider if there are even this big,” he says. Every year, attendance at The Chilliheads usually sponsor various people who are willing to buy them—if you’re the chili festival increases. Their third and contests at their festivals. One of the most in it for the money, of course. most recent one took place just last October anticipated—and potentially painful ones—is “Hotter chilies are more popular in the in the Green Daisy Compound located along the Labuyo 100. For this, the contestants US than in the Philippines. Filipinos like hot Maginhawa Street, Teacher’s Village, Quezon must consume a hundred pieces of raw siling chilies but only those they can still enjoy City. Plants and greens scaled the walls labuyo without drinking anything from the without feeling pain,” says Enrile. “Even hot of the gazebo where stalls of bottled chili start of the contest until 15 minutes after sauce companies like making the type of hot sauces, honey, and pods were all lined up for they finish. sauce you’d want to use every day so you’d eager customers. “Men, especially foreigners, treat buy more. I think the threshold for Filipino Certainly, demand for chili has shot chili-eating as an extreme sport. They love taste is roughly around 300,000 SHU.” up. “I don’t sell seeds anymore since the the feeling of accomplishing something Chilies above 300,000 SHU are community learned how to buy seeds for challenging and chili is one of the most commonly called by enthusiasts as difficult things to eat,” superhots. The habanero, a crowd favorite says Enrile. at the Chillihead festival, is described by Growing it, however, is most members as “flavorful while packing an entirely different story. just enough heat.” Our local siling labuyo “Every chili has different measures up to about 60,000-100,000 needs. You must know SHU. This is not to be confused with the what type of sunlight, Taiwan pepper, a milder (6,000-10,000 soil, water it likes. Chili is SHU), lengthier chili that is heavily imported not like other plants that by the Philippines. It is this pepper that diners you can just throw on usually get to try at Philippine fast food the ground and expect to restaurants. “They are easier to grow and grow. There are always look very pretty,” notes Enrile. minute differences in What makes chilies a pleasure to eat growing chili. Every is capsaicin (a chemical that induces the grower has their own way burning sensation). While there are no real of doing things and the side effects to eating superhots, the proper macho Pinoy loves that.” way of eating them is to “chew and swallow What chili growers properly; I cannot stress this enough,” says love even more is that Enrile. “People come and try to eat our chilies

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial DECEMBER 2016 FHM 103 and start a coughing fit that could damage Taiwan peppers in supermarkets,” says Jhong their esophagus. Don’t drink water as well Hadloc, a long-time member of the Chilliheads. because it sometimes makes the heat spread CHILI METER “Here [in the festival], you’ll see chilies of every through your mouth. Try drinking milk, yogurt color, shape, and size—each with their own drinks, and eat sweet things because they How Painful woulD it BE ‘deformity,’ which makes them unique.” break up the capsaicin,” advises Enrile. to Eat tHEsE CHiliEs? No wonder, then, that people from all over the Philippines come to the Chillihead’s this is the festival to sample and buy chilis. “It’s very closest thing hard to find people selling pods since only to setting Many chili heads the inside of a few farmers grow them. We’re currently Carolina our bodies negotiating with local farmers to buy 10 Reaper on fire. the hectares worth of their chili harvest. We are better than one 1,000,000 – burning provide them rare seeds, teach them how to 2,200,000 shu “Even if we’re just a Facebook group, the sensation grow [these], and buy the [chilis] at a good community is tight. We don’t have a president could last up price,” says Hadloc. “Ang problema kasi to ten hours. even though they made me the de facto it’s called a sa ibang farmers, madalas kapag hindi ka leader. I don’t like mixing up politics with ghost pepper kakilala, di ka bebentahan.” this. Once you elect a president and other because once The unfortunate thing about mainstream officers, the government might get in the way you let this chilies is that harvest time greatly affects Ghost of our hobby. The best part about this group pass, it’ll feel their value. “The Taiwan chilies you see in Pepper like your soul being just a group of friends is that anyone 855,000 – the market during this season could go up to leaving your can come here and let [everything] be just 1,041,472 shu P200 per kilo. But they go as low as P30 per about the chili,” says Enrile. body and kilo in the summer. To make enough profit, entering the They meet once a month—every third fiery bowels don’t be most people grow chilies mid-summer. This Sunday—to eat, drink, and talk about chilies. of hell. fooled by way, they can harvest just a little after the It’s basically a club. “Before the group was its colorful chili season when [the chilies] are too cheap established, everyone thought that they were appearance to sell but not too late that they’ll get ruined the only ones growing chili. We knew a lot Habanero and sweet by the rainy season,” explains Enrile. less about what we were doing. A lot of trial Chili taste because The Chilliheads admit to local farmers 100,000 – the heat will and error was involved,” Enrile recalls. that it’s true that rare chilies are more of an 350,000 shu knock you The members of the Chilliheads group straight out investment to grow than the more convenient regularly post the progress they’re making when you Taiwan chilies. But the returns of selling with their plants so most people learn from these rare chilies more than make up for the small and least expect each other’s mistakes and successes. “While not terrible at it. added effort because their value doesn’t go there’s still a lot of trial and error, the process is all. its spice down depending on the season they’re sold much easier and well-documented now. All the hits like a in. Superhots can be sold for P350-P500 all knowledge we learn, we share with the group. quick slap Siling year round. The typhoon season is a good There are no secrets here. If we find a way to to the face Labuyo time to sell Taiwan chilies, when other chilies make our chilies grow better, then it benefits by a girl you 60,000 – are scarce due to typhoons hitting northern the whole community because it just helps accidentally 100,000 shu Philippines. “But then you’re only making chilies become more popular,” says Enrile. called fat money from the misery of others,” says Enrile. when you The camaraderie even extends outside were drunk. Making your chilies competitive in the the group. Farmers from all over the take a shot of eyes of potential buyers is what separates Philippines come to Manila to get advice that tabasco growers that are able to sell their product sauce and from the group on how to take care of their consistently and growers that let their crops mutiply that own chili plants. “Just today, two farmers Tabasco ten times go to waste. “When growing good chili, you asked what to do with their sick crops. I told Pepper more and feel have to consider four things: its flavor, heat, them to pull them all out since it’ll cost even 30,000 – that smooth, taste, and shelf life. If you grow chilies well, more just to salvage what they had to work 50,000 shu smooth liquid they can last in the refrigerator for two with. When you’ve been a part of the group fire slide weeks. Chilies that are not well-made last this long these types of things become down your less than a week,” notes Enrile. common knowledge [with the members],” it kind of throat. lakas “Farmers should also take into says Enrile. feel like your tama. consideration how their chilies look like Helping out local farmers is one of the little brother because they can sell [the ones that look main advocacies of the Chilliheads. Enrile punching good] at a higher price,” Enrile adds. “While has retired from managing farms and now your arm, you deformed chilies don’t change in taste, hotels won’t feels Jalapeño just helps small-time farmers by giving them it at first but 3,500 – and restaurants are in dire need of different recommendations and lectures on how to do it long 10,000 shu kinds of chilies. Though what they usually grow crops. He also acts as a consultant for enough and want are the good-looking chilies, which are bigger companies here in Manila and abroad. anything will not readily available at supermarkets now.” “Kapag small farmers, libre lang ang konsulta. eventually Pag malaki (ang company) syempre may sting. bayad,” laughs Enrile. You can eat a hundred of The market for Bell these without Pepper breaking a hot stuff The chilliconomy 0 shu sweat. next please. There is an untapped market for “There are so many types of chilies but you superhots that many people haven’t almost always see nothing but bell peppers and discovered yet.

104 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph which is the chili we use for the Garapal,” Yenko says. “Most hot sauces you see in the groceries are made from imported Taiwan peppers. We try to buy from Philippine farmers as much as we can so they’ll want to keep on growing chilies for us.” But it isn’t just hot sauces that use chilies, as many hipster chefs would note. Mainstream companies also appreciate this hot crop. For instance: Magnolia’s chili ice cream and Cadbury’s chili chocolate. It’s no surprise that up-and-coming businesses are also clamoring to share their own unique chili-based creations. For one, the chili and honey wine concoction developed by Luke Macababbad of Dielles Apiary and Meadery isn’t far off from becoming a niche favorite. “My inspiration to make the wine actually came from when I first sold at the Chilli festival. I was embarrassed when I found out that I was one of the few vendors selling “Selling our chilies to big hot sauce products that weren’t made with chili. Good companies benefits both sides because we thing that I just happened to sit next to Sir get to sell our crops and they get to use Ponchit. I asked for a few habaneros, I sliced less chili to make hotter and more flavorful them up, and I put them inside the bottles of sauces. Compare habanero’s 350,000 SHU wine and magically, okay yung dating,” says to Taiwan chilies’ 10,000 SHU. Ours is 35 Macababbad. times hotter,” says Enrile. The chili industry is definitely becoming Justin Yenko, creator of the hot sauce hot right now, but no one would believe that lines Bad Boy Tikboy and Garapal started all of this was set into motion by a group of his business because he saw the plant’s friends who shared a common interest. “The potential to go mainstream. “Before the thing about chili is it naturally makes you Chilliheads got this big, a few individuals like happy when you eat it. It makes you release Tito Ponchit were already planting here and endorphins, ironically enough, because of there. He sometimes gave me seeds before the pain the heat is causing your body. So selling them,” says Yenko. I guess, people who welcome pain become Yenko’s hot sauce, Garapal, is scheduled happy in the end,” says Enrile. It’s true what to be sold in a few major grocery stores in they say, then: when people put enough the first quarter of next year. “It’s one of our passion into something they love, humble advocacies to ‘save’ the Philippine labuyo, sprouts could grow so much taller. FHM

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HEALTH

Dangerous Drugs Board Secretary Benjamin Reyes says that according to a survey that the board conducted last year, there are 1.8 million users of illegal drugs recorded in 2015—that’s approximately 2.3 percent of the country’s population. What’s alarming The real high is that the youth sector (30 years old and below) comprises a third of the mentioned ChemiCals have nothing over figure. “It’s a 50-billion-peso industry yang‘ kalaban natin,” says Reyes. So we’re here to try to give you your personal rehab session—if you need the adrenaline rush that is one, that is. The four commonly confiscated illegal drugs, according to Reyes, are your life methamphetamine, marijuana, cocaine, and ecstasy. We found other ways to get the high these drugs give, but without the ugly side effects. Shall we go tripping?

THE DRUG THE EFFECT THE ALTERNATIVE

MethaM phetaM ine You are wide awake for long hours as a You want to stay awake? Take result of the increase in the amount of Red Bull while watching a (shabu) dopamine, one of the neurotransmitters marathon of Breaking Bad. in the brain. Shabu’s ability to discharge Walter White’s messed up life dopamine quickly in the brain produces will keep you rooted to your the elated rush. Your energy becomes couch while inspiring you to get boundless so you don’t feel the need to eat your shit together. or drink anything which can result in weight loss later on. According to Reyes, meth has the scariest effects among all illegal drugs because it causes immediate mental health issues. In short: literal na nakakabaliw.

Marijuana Cannabis has cannabinoids or chemical If all you want is to feel relaxed, compounds that also affect the levels of you’ve got lots of digital music dopamine in the brain, which typically results service apps that have endless in a sense of relaxation. Sounds sweet, playlists of songs to soothe right? But it’s actually not a pretty picture. your mind. Lock yourself in your It makes your eyes look groggy (no girl room and listen to good music. wants a bulldog-looking guy for a boyfriend, Spotify’s Chill Vibes playlist gets FYI), causes red blotches to appear on your the job done. Also, if you want skin, and weakens your instincts. And don’t to get even more out of it, we forget: it’s a hallucinogen. Repeat after us: recommend John Legend and You can’t fly. Marvin Gaye. For a more blues feel, pop in Eric Clapton’s vintage Reptile album.

CoCaine The effects of cocaine are almost the There are plenty of aerial sports same with meth’s. In a snap, you'll feel such as skydiving and paragliding extra euphoric as the happy hormones are in many parts of the country that instantly triggered to accumulate in the will definitely wake up even your synapse which then amplify the signal to sleepy soul. And bro, when you the neurons. It makes you want to scream say that you’ve done an aerial “Sleep is for the weak!” because, really, the sport, we bet a girl would notice. word “sleep” is suddenly erased from your Consider it dagdag-pogi points. vocabulary upon use of cocaine. It also Try paragliding with Airsports causes addiction, and fast. Adventure Philippines. The adrenaline rush you’ll get from it will be so worth the ride.

MDMa Ecstasy prompts the release of Start a new hobby. No, seriously. neurotransmitters such as serotonin Toy collection is a fantastic M ethylene a.k.a. the “happy hormone.” Not only will it example. You can join online (eC stasy) disintegrate all the worries in your life—it communities of toy collectors will also trigger emotional warmth and who regularly organize meet-ups empathetic tendencies, however temporary and even conventions to show they may be. Ecstasy makes you feel off their most prized possessions. you are the star of the night. It makes Being in the company of people you wrongly think, “Wow, close kaming who have the same interests as lahat!” What you don’t notice is your body you do gives an authentic high temperature increasing steadily until, when that no chemical can match. your body can’t take any more, you collapse. WORDS: JUJU | ILLUSTRATIONS: BORG BALUYOT SIBANAN

106 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph NOW YOU CAN BRING OUT TAKE THE THE SWAG There’s something about having good hair day BABES that adds an extra swag to your step. After all, how you look affects how you feel and vice versa. No wonder a well-styled head of hair makes you look and feel in control. But there EVERYWHERE are just days your hair needs a little help. For sub-par hair days, you can always take the time to spiff it up with style. Sure, it takes some YOU GO! effort, but is pretty simple. Start with picking a look you want to achieve. Ask yourself, how much hold does your hair need? Do you want it looking shiny and sleek? What product will do the trick? If you’re going for a sleek look with a little but of shine and going for maximum hold, taking the gel route is a no-brainer. Apply gel on towel-dried hair to get best results. Make sure to get the good kind. You don’t want to end up having gunk cemented to your head. Now get out and beat bad hair days and #BringOutTheSwag with Stylex Styling Gel.

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The Volkswagen Golf has been Europe’s them on our roads yet.) We are still sold on favorite car for the last eight years. Going the Japanese makes, although owning that Get it all further back, it has been shown that ever first European car—one that says you’re now since the car debuted in 1974, the Golf has into finer things, having moved up in the steadily endeared itself to the European world—is always an aspiration. It’s a milestone car-buying public. They were taken by its that VW Philippines is keen to fulfill. together style, performance, and reliability, making it a Perhaps working, too, against the Golf is true car for the masses in the way VW had that we aren’t as enamored with a hatchback This is how The envisioned the Beetle to be. as an all-rounder; sedans are generally the You can probably sense we only Googled preferred choice. Obviously, the Europeans Volkswagen golf has that. don’t think so. It’s also from them that we get consisTenTly sTayed as Truth is, we don’t know jack shit about the the idea of a very desirable “hot hatch,” which europe’s no. 1 car for Golf. We’ve only ever had a real appreciation is what the faster GTI version of the Golf is. of the car when it was launched just last So to understand Europe’s love affair years April; the Volkswagen Philippines Group, with the Golf, we asked an Englishman to owned by the Ayalas, only set up shop in enlighten us. Chris Mooney was a colleague 2013. Sure, we know VW, but still mostly due at FHM UK who now works at BBC words: allan p. hernandeZ to Beetle nostalgia. Worldwide. He says: So it would hardly be our fault if we don’t “There's a good phrase that they use at take to the Golf as wildly as the Europeans Top Gear [which is owned by BBC]: Whatever have (Or for the other VW vehicles currently new car you’re looking for, the answer is on sale here, since we don’t see many of almost always a VW Golf. It’s like the ultimate

108 FHM DECEMBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph First off, it did not have tartan seats. That MOTOR is reserved for the GTI. Instead we had posh ediTed By Vienna leather seats. AllAN P. HERNANDEZ Was it fun to drive? Yes, it was. But more allan.hernandez @summitmedia.com.ph than that—and we think you’ll find this detail more important—the first thing you’ll notice is that the car gives you confidence. Not in yourself—because if you’re already choosing to drive a car like the Golf, you should already be sure of who you are—but about the car. The Golf is solidly built that you immediately feel nothing will fall apart in the car even as you go well past the speed limit. Everything feels so together, no rattling of any sort, and the car just sets itself down the road with unrelenting focus. This is where VW’s vaunted German engineering really comes to fore. Now, about the Golf’s looks not quite reaching great-looking levels. We think our Volkswagen English resource person’s assessment stems from the car not being loudly styled. Honestly, Golf when we look at the Golf, we don’t think automobiles. We think architecture. We are RIDES lIkE reminded of Bauhaus, the International Style, it will never form and function, minimalism. It’s as though fall apart. Build the Golf was designed with as few as five quality is a+ lines on paper. And if you care to look at it from the side, please direct your attention to FEElS lIkE the rear profile, where the gas lid is. Stare at confidence has the angles, the symmetry of it. You can’t get always been your any more German than that. The Golf doesn’t game look like an insect, the way a Japanese car would. It looks like a car. It blends in while standing out. lOOkS lIkE Is it reliable and practical? Let’s see: architecture 520+kilometers on a full 50-liter gasoline rather than tank? Yes. Generous space for four adults? automobile. Yes. Tastefully designed interiors? Yes. Think Bauhaus Responsive engine? Yes. Safe? With the kind of build it has, definitely yes. BUY AT So, can we agree with Europe that the p1,590,000-p1,790,000 Golf is the best all-rounder? Yes.

all-rounder: fun to drive, reliable, practical, good-looking (rather than great-looking). Plus, the Golf GTI and Golf R are iconic hot hatches that are about as fast as you ever need in the real world. The competition keeps trying to make a better car (Honda Civic, Renault Clio, Seat Ibiza, Audi A3 etc) but they have still never quite managed it.” Does Mooney own a Golf? “I had a Golf GTI years ago and I regretted selling it. Cool tartan seats.” Tartan seats—if you can use the word “idiosyncratic,” you deserve seats like that. Figuring Mooney’s opinion reflects Europe’s general view of the Golf, we assessed our driving experience of the car following his lead. We had the 1.4 DSG Highline with the following specs: 4 cylinder in-line turbo fuel-injected gas engine; 150 horses and 250 Nm of torque; 0-100 km in 8.2 secs; 216 kph top speed.

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Stocking Stuffers! for every person on your Christmas shopping list!

Available in bookstores, newsstands, and convenience stores

@summitbooks @summit.books BOOKENDER

The grinch who lost Christmas Just you wait, little kids who adore the holiday season. Just you wait

WORDS Anne MAri ronquillo

On Christmas, Jose Mari Chan is king. This would be And all Mary wanted was just to find a place to give birth in. fine if Christmas in the Philippines didn’t actually last for Us Pinoys are not big on referencing Dr. Seuss’ Grinch, so in your three months. reflections, you are simply a “KJ.” But are you, really? Are you the Between the family reunions and the office parties, instrument sent by the opposite of God to kill the Christmas buzz? the Christmas season doesn’t leave you a lot of time for You used to love Christmas, remember? yourself…unless you use your time sitting in traffic for introspection The year-end holidays were great when you were still young and and spiritual enrichment (i.e., prayer). on the receiving end of aguinaldo-loaded Christmas cards. Perhaps This signature Philippine Christmas grind is something most of us you felt the joy more when you sang carols and received change from did not choose, but were born into. “It’s tradition,” they say. Part of the your kind neighbors. (Today’s unbelievably rude generation of children Pinoy charm, so to speak. Really? In those months leading up to the carolers flip the bird when they get anything less than P20 for their most wonderful time of the year for young ‘uns who know not of the warbling carols.) Maybe you liked it better when Santa was real. adult struggle, we’ve come to accept that snatchers snatch just a bit Oh, have you heard? People sell fake Christmas lights. more often. After all, criminals also want their Christmas bonus. While we’re on the subject, one question must be asked. Why It’s a religious holiday gone wild. Shopping is at an all-time high must everyone schedule their reunions the week before the 25th? and the malls stay open ‘til midnight. Business is good because the You have no choice but to double-book—you leave one bash early season of giving puts tremendous pressure on anyone who ever and rush, late, to another—all to make an appearance and ensure agreed to be a godparent. Gift-wrapping stations will give you a that you are taggable in the group photo. Two hours of traffic for 15 whopping three-hour waiting time just for that pathetic last-minute minutes of pleasantries just because yearly gatherings always seem Monito-Monita gift. The tree-hugger in you cringes every time a gift to fall on Christmas. Why can’t we hang out in June? is wrapped. Paper. Paper everywhere! And why can’t they sell puto bumbong on the sidewalk all year And you curse under your breath as you wonder why this round? If they did, maybe you’d go to church more. “K-Palette eyebrow pencil” is on every girl’s wishlist. All this has, at least, clarified one thing: Family reunions exist so The annoying fa-la-las have even invaded the Internet. When you could sit in a corner and stare at your phone. And while you do people on Facebook start posting the exact same Love, Actually that, in your peripheral vision, you see a group of children playing memes (“To me you are perfect…”), you roll your eyes all the way with their presents together. That reminds you of 15 years ago, when back to August. Every year, you are reminded of how much they love Christmas meant family, food, and games before traffic, peer pressure, the film and every year, you recoil in disgust. and stress. If only these little rascals knew what they’re in for. FHM

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