Growing Up Right, Growing Up Strong PaRentS, KidS, and ScoUtinG thanks to the following for their contributions in the writing of this book dan Baker, Ph.d. Mark Ray Table of Contents Dedication ................................................................................................................................................1 Foreword ..................................................................................................................................................3 Acknowledgments .....................................................................................................................................4 Introduction .............................................................................................................................................6 A Legacy of Love: The Gerald Lawhorn Story ..............................................................................................8 Kids and Parents Today ...........................................................................................................................12 What Scouting Does for Kids...................................................................................................................16 What Scouting Does for Families .............................................................................................................28 What Scouting Does for Parents ..............................................................................................................36 What Parents Can Do for Scouting ..........................................................................................................44 Call to Action .........................................................................................................................................50 Dedication Mr. g was that rare type of leader who worked In Scouting it is all about “role models,” and Gerald selflessly. As a leader, he had both vision and the Lawhorn was the quintessential role model. His ability to grow the talents of those around him. A life served as a beacon to all in describing how we shining example of the American dream, he started should live our lives. He was a passionate volunteer, from scratch and built a truly remarkable business in a most responsible corporate citizen, a visionary PetroSouth, Inc. Through that organization he helped philanthropist, and, most especially, an extraordinarily many others start their own small business and realize decent human being. their version of the American dream. Using the profits of his company, he gave generously to many causes Robert J. Mazzuca and nonprofit organizations. The only expectation he Chief Scout Executive, Boy Scouts of America ever had was that the money be used wisely and to benefit others. At 9:31 P.M. on October 8, 2008, Eagle Scout, entrepreneur, philanthropist, father, husband, and On June 6, 2005, Gerald was given the greatest test friend Gerald Lawhorn earned the one reward that of his life. He was diagnosed with ALS/ Lou Gehrig’s surpassed his beloved Eagle Scout badge. He was called disease and told he had six months to get his affairs home to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. in order. Of course, he was initially shocked and As a true larger-than-life figure, he traveled to every devastated by the blow, but in the true spirit of a corner of the globe, journeying to some of the most “Be Prepared” Scout and man of faith, and with the remote regions on earth and touring the largest cities support of loving family and friends, he quickly set in the world. Compelled by an insatiable curiosity, to work on some of the most important projects of he was a lifelong learner. Very little escaped his keen his life. He had, in typical fashion, turned a death mind, and he put his incredible intellect to good work sentence into a zeal for life that was nothing short that has made a difference for the better in thousands of miraculous. In the next two and a half years, he upon thousands of lives from every walk of life and started initiatives for networking support for people will continue to do so for many decades to come. who have been diagnosed with ALS and their families, a Christian outreach project, and ScoutParents. Later Only his loving heart surpassed his remarkable he would comment that he had been focused by his intellect. Gerald—or Mr. g as he was known lovingly circumstances and had achieved more in the last two by many—had an extraordinary capacity to love. He and a half years than he had in the last 10. would readily share his love for God with any and all. He deeply loved his family and friends, many of It is to this extraordinary loving and generous man and whom he treated as family for he understood better founder of the ScoutParents initiative that this book is than most that real wealth is found in relationships. dedicated. Mr. g, you will be with us in spirit always! Whenever he was contemplating a major decision, one of the guiding principles he utilized in the process was the probable impact on others. –1– saw a sense of pride and accomplishment in their eyes Foreword that can only be described as the fulfillment of the American dream—through the eyes of an immigrant. Robert J. Mazzuca, Chief Scout Executive When I left for college in 1965—the first of Dad’s children to do so—he reached into his pocket and In the spring of 1958, my best friend invited me to pulled out a crumpled $20 bill. It was more than he a meeting of Boy Scout Troop 28 in my hometown of could afford, but he gave it to me along with a kiss, a San Juan Bautista, California. At 11 years old, I knew huge bear hug, and a simple admonition: “Remember, little about Scouting, but I was fascinated by what I son, you are an Eagle Scout.” saw at that meeting. I’ve always remembered I’m an Eagle Scout, and I’ve I quickly joined Troop 28, not exactly sure where I always remembered the people who helped me become would get the money for a uniform, a handbook, or one. People like Roy Pederson, who led our Scout troop a mess kit. I knew it couldn’t come from my father, week in and week out. People like Milton Harrel, who Guiseppi. A hardworking Italian immigrant, he had provided the resources to make the program possible. eight children to feed, but he didn’t have two nickels And people like my dad, who simply said yes. to rub together. Fifty years on, my dad’s story may seem like ancient Miraculously, a uniform and a handbook and a mess kit history, but it’s not. Somewhere today, a mother will all appeared. Although no one ever explained, I suspect catch the magic of Scouting. Somewhere tomorrow, that old Milton Harrel, the godfather of Scouting in our a father will drink the bug juice. And sometime in little town, had something to do with it. the future, our great nation will be a different, better place because of their involvement. And so began my grand adventure in Scouting. I can’t think of a time when the principles Scouting The real magic, however, happened when our teaches have been needed more. Principles like duty Scoutmaster, Roy Pederson, approached my dad one to God, service to others, patriotism, honor, respect, day. He asked Dad to drive our troop’s equipment up and kindness are sorely lacking in our world today. to summer camp in his 1949 Studebaker truck—one Scouting is one of the few places left where sons and of the few real trucks in town. Dad said yes and daughters, fathers and mothers, grandparents and got his first taste of old-fashioned, honest-to-God, mentors can come together to learn those principles American volunteerism. and live those values. On that trip to camp, my dad was transformed That’s why I’m so excited to introduce the before my eyes, although I didn’t really recognize it ScoutParents initiative. Through ScoutParents, at the time. He connected with what was going on we are embracing and celebrating truths my dad around him, he saw the magic, he drank the bug juice. learned so long ago: Scouting transforms the lives of And he truly learned what it means to be a citizen of kids and adults alike. That kids and adults who are this great nation. transformed build strong families. And that strong families banding together can make our great nation That fall, Dad was asked to become a member of the even greater. troop committee and, voilà, a volunteer was born. He still couldn’t rub two nickels together, but he was now Scouting has the proven ability to build character, a Scout leader, and he was bound and determined citizenship, and fitness in its young members. to be a good one. Dad’s involvement in Scouting ScoutParents has the tools to help parents and changed his life forever. Before long, he was a member mentors become engaged in the Scouting experience. of the local men’s club, Troop 28’s sponsor, and a real All it takes is for someone to say yes—someone, participating citizen of our little town. perhaps, like you. Scout’s honor! Fast forward to the night in 1963 when he and my mom pinned an Eagle Scout badge on my uniform. I –3– Acknowledgments The authors wish to acknowledge the following people, whose stories, expertise, time, and material support made this book possible. Peter Agre Steve Elwart Fred List, Psy.D. Luis Sepulveda Nancy Becker Mike Fossum K. Scott Malone, M.D. Chuck Smith Mark Belli Keith and Dorothy Brandi Mantz David and Taneil Specht Gehlhausen Krista Benson Bob Mazzuca Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D. Meg Gehlhausen Barry Bingham Ginger McClure Gordon Stiefel Byron Gilbert Wayne Brock George McGovern Wendy Stevens