THE

AMBASSADOR The Official Newsletter of the International Affairs Association – Volume 1999 – Issue 1 – April 14, 1999 (Fling Edition)

large part of the success of our conferences has already been met by you. Let me offer a heartfelt thank you to the Chairs and Directors who got their papers in on time. The papers make up such a fundamental aspect of the conference work and you guys have gotten next year off on the right foot. Again, thank you. I haven’t seen this much dedication in the three years I’ve been a member of the IAA.

Also, start looking forward to a great IAA next year. We’re already planning more trips, more Special Events and just a more active club in general. We all need to work together to make sure that we all can get what we want out of this club. I’m confident though that with our dedicated Looking Back at ILMUNC ’99 – Proposing membership that we can accomplish what we want. Effective Solutions to World Problems Okay, I think that’s it for now. Please make sure to The Prez Sez: have a great Fling. If you see, me offer me a drink. If you see an LCE agent...run. Oh, and before I sign Whoa! It’s April. This revelation hit me the other off, remember, if any of you have any ideas, day when I looked at my calendar and realized that questions or concerns please, for the love of all that Fling was a week a way, and finals, well finals were is pure and holy, let me know! Some of you have coming up upon me way too quickly. Like I said, contacted me already and I really appreciate it. My whoa. I’m sure many of you have expressed similar e-mail is [email protected] and my phone exasperation when you realized that the end of the number is 417-1342. Good luck with finals, have a year is here. great summer, and begin looking forward to a great year for the IAA starting next September. It’s been an interesting year for the IAA. I think we’ve grown a lot as a club. We’ve managed to get Off to get Flung, our financial house in, well, at least manageable Zach order. InterCol finished the year on a very strong note by winning UVA. UPMUNC, thanks to the hard work of this year’s Secretariat, is shaping up Give me your 2 cents on anything that you very well. Work on ILMUNC 2000 has just begun fancy, and I’ll throw it into the Ambassador. I to get under way and again, we can look forward to mean, throw me a freakin’ bone here! I’m the hosting one of the most popular conferences on the boss! Need the info! E-mail me your stuff at: high school circuit. Most importantly though, a [email protected] Into the Wild… D: If only there was something funny to say about those marathons…it’s harder to An Conversation with your VP/Treasurer and take money away from them than it is to Special Events Director take Tim away from his nightly whiskey. It was a dark and stormy night…. A: So the financial picture looks pretty Ambassador: So boys, how are you settling in to grim then? your newfound pedestals of power? D: Not for me… Dom: I can’t kick ‘em out of bed fast enough. A: Alrighty, on a lighter note, what have Chris: you two boys got in mind for Spring Fling this year? A: What do you have in store for special C: Well, we ain’t allowed to drink events, Chris? anymore. D: Hey I’ve got a better question, did D: I guess I won’t be peeing in the hall of anyone experience the rousing success Butcher this year. I’ll just have to pee in of Chris’s debut Coffee Hour? my own hall. C: Listen Missy, I saw you there, ordering C: The HELL you won’t!! a grande mocha raspberry steamy chocolocodingdong. So lay off before I A: Let’s stay away from the bathroom have to Rochambeau your ass. humor, OK? D: I was only following Einiger’s lead. I C: Speaking of Bad Humor Fling, Mask saw the waitress wink at him after he and Wig takes the main stage at 4:50 on ordered an arugula and prosciutto, Saturday. Everyone should go see Tim smoked cheese, tomato is a fruit, pansy open a can of whoop-ass on the drum pannini. I thought, “Wow! I need to get set. I just hope I fend off the moshing some of that action!” So I ordered my 14-year-old Pre-Frosh and catch one of drink and she looked at me like I was a his drumsticks. “omosexualhay,” if you know what I D: I bet he’ll get them to play “Freebird” if mean. you yell loud enough. C: Make sure to bring your lighters. A: For the record, Chris, who actually did attend the “Coffee Hour that will A: Looking forward to next year, what are live in infamy?” your plans to bring the club to the for- C: Um, let me think…well suffice to say front of Penn’s collective conscious? we would have had better turnout if I C: Well, I could tell you a little more if I used two tin cans and a piece of string to knew how the finances stood? get the word out. D: Hey, know your role before I have to D: Well, that’s what you get for sending the check you into the Smack Down Hotel. reminder email 45 minutes before the event. C and D: Ah screw it…if you want to read C: I thought everybody checked their email something substantiated and inspiring, every half hour. flip over to Zach and the Joshs’ articles. A: Are you one of those Pennginerds? We’ll have to continue our ramblings C: Do I smell a beat-down? Moving on, whenever Pradyut gets the initiative to let’s put Dom’s first few weeks to the publish another Ambassador. fire as well.

A: Not a bad move. Dom, remind us, what -Chris “Crazy like the Glue” Kulinski and the hell have you done thus far? -Dom “Sniffed too much Glue” Ainscough D: Um…um… C: Uh, Uh… D: Uncomfortable silences, don’t you hate Listening to Chris K’s answering machine those? messages should be a “special event”. He’s got C: Well I’ll give you a helping hand, Dom. numbers beyond what you can dial….386-5047 How about your first SAC meeting? UPMUNC and UP YOURS TOO!!! Again, thanks for all the hard work every one of you puts into this club. If it weren't for each IAA member UPMUNC would The SEC-GEN speaks: suck. If you're planning to be in the New York area this summer, let me know. Otherwise, have an awesome break. This past Sunday I celebrated a little milestone. Only seven Have fun and get some rest. I'll see you in September! months to go before the start of UPMUNC 1999. Your UPMUNC Sec-Gen, Okay, so I'm a dork. But I'm an amazingly excited dork. Conference preps so far are going great, and I'd like to give you a little status report before the semester ends. Josh "jeiniger" Einiger I'm glad to say things are really looking up as we leave for the summer. Thanks to all you guys on dais teams (i.e. chairs and directors), we are actually almost done with background THIS IS MY “SEC”TION guides! You handed them in when we needed them, and we'll be sending them off to Kinko's to be printed before we leave for the summer, a full six months before conference! (To put The details of my life are quite inconsequential….my things in perspective, in the last three years I don't think father was brown….my mother was brown….at the they've gone out to delegates more than a month before age of 12, I figured that I too was brown…. conference, ever.) On behalf of your USGs - Jordan, Emily, Chris and Zehra - thank you so much for all your help! What have I done as secretary???…..To start with, I have not written my background guide for UPMUNC That's not all that's new. Thanks to the great work of Kyle (Josh, you’ll have it by this weekend, and as for the Smith, upmuncONLINE is now up on a new commercial server, at http://www.upmunc.org. If you haven't seen rest of you, don’t follow my example or else you’ll it yet, check it out. Randy Cinco did an awesome job end up writing a paper about “microbanking” over redesigning our site, which this summer will gain a feature Fling Weekend). like Penn InTouch, which will allow delegates to log directly into our new database and check their country assignments So, I really don’t have much to say (notice the and school information, without needing to request significantly larger font in my section), but if you plan information from me. to get alcoholically challenged this weekend, make Vikas Tandon, our Business Director, has been working sure you have some fellow International Anonymous tirelessly to get us a good deal with Kinko's; soon we'll have Alcoholic around to make note of all the really really an IAA rate of about 3 cents per copy (the regular rate is 9 dumb things you do for the next Ambassador. We cents) for any club member to use. Director-General Mike can’t have the incoming freshmen thinking we are a Bassik is talking to clubs to lock down a DelegateFest location sober bunch of people. early and head off some of the problems we had with the Fest at the last conference. (Like not having one....) Finally, I wish our parting seniors the best of luck As for me, I've been kind of busy myself. I've spent countless with their careers. Keep the IAA informed about your hours (and lots of money too) calling head delegates from whereabouts. I’ll be setting up an alumni page on the across the country; now they're as excited as I to come to IAA website soon, so stay tuned. Remember, reality conference. We already have our first registration in, from is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. Pace University in New York City, which is bringing us 20 Stay sober. delegates, three more than last year.

And I'm happy to say we'll have a bunch of new first-time - 1RW

- Brad “Two Thumbs Up” Moore

Being on crisis staff is cool. E-mail me your cool crisis staff stories and I’ll put them up on the IAA Steve homepage along with some more cool pics. Lubensky, that crazy kid, dancing Latin- InterCollegiate InterCourse style with Virginia “IAA! IAA! IAA!” These chants filled the usually peaceful halls Sharma, VICS of the University of Virginia when the International SecGen Affairs Association’s intercollegiate team claimed victory at VICS last month. But who cares about awards, right? Well, I Awards at VICS: do, I guess. But there is more to an away trip than Verbal Commendation Model UN. However, I have been ordered by the Sam Rotenberg IAA’s lawyers not to print any details regarding the Rupesh Patel stankin’-nasty fun that we all had. Ask around if Chris Rooney you want to hear any interesting stories. Most Honorable Mention important, however: I did not hook up! Like any of Jess Simonoff you care… Josh Einiger So, I will discuss other matters. On my Vikas Tandon mind right now, ResNet. There are several movies Laura Geller If you find on the ResNet movie channel this month. Some yourself Vanessa Freeman perplexed about selections are quite good (The Godfather, Angel Best Delegate the above Heart, Clerks, Groundhog Day), others are not (The Steve Lubensky picture, ask Devil’s Advocate, Higher Learning, In and Out), Hanaan Marwah Brad Moore and some are absolute atrocities (The Rugrats Bradley Moore about it.