ENG EL’S GLAN EN D irty-nine counties, one capital and one man Matthew Engel PROFILE BOOKS is paperback edition published in #$%& First published in Great Britain in #$%' by Pro(le Books Ltd ) Holford Yard Bevin Way London *+%, -./ www.pro lebooks.com Copyright © Matthew Engel, #$%', #$%& Map illustrations by Susannah English % ) & 2 - %$ 3 4 ' # Typeset in Garamond by MacGuru Ltd
[email protected] Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon +7$ '88 e moral right of the author has been asserted. All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book. A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN -23 % 3'443 &2# - eISBN -23 % 3'24& -#3 4 Cert no. TT-COC-002227 CONTENTS Introduction xi :. I’ll be with you in plum blossom time "#$%&'%#&()#% : <. Do you know how the shower works, Jesus? *%+,"#+&()#% := =. Adventures in the state-your-business belt &-##%. <= @. Oh, my name it means nothing +-#(/0 =Q Q. Watch the wall, my darling +%1"2 @R V. Here be bores, and boars 34"-$%&'%#&()#% V= X. Bye-bye to the bile beans ."#5&()#% XX Z. Life on the edge &-&&%6 :[: R. Ignorant Hobbledehoyshire (not) #-'4/2+ ::Q :[. Buckethead and Puddingface (-2')23+"2&()#% :<= ::. Between the old way and the Ooh-arr A $"#2 /44 :=: :<.