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THE TM 911 Franklin Street Weekly Newspaper Michigan City, IN 46360 Volume 35, Number 49 Thursday, December 12, 2019 A Message of Courageby Edmund Lawler and Hope Victor Vargas addresses Michigan City High School students in October during a student-led bullying/suicide/school shooting assembly. Photo provided Victor Vargas can convincingly rap about the “You could have heard a pin drop when he spoke agony of being bullied — the taunts, the threats, a to the students,” says Betty Hoeffner, president and loaded gun to his head — and its nightmarish con- co-founder of Hey U.G.L.Y. (Unique, Gifted, Lov- sequences, including depression, suicidal thoughts, able, You), a national nonprofi t that combats bully- self-infl icted cutting and a constant sense of fear ing and youth suicide. “Victor and his experiences that gnawed at his soul. are real. And for kids, that will cut through every- Sadly, the 26-year-old Vargas experienced all of thing.” that fi rsthand over a dozen years growing up in Vargas packed his unsettling experiences as a LaPorte. Yet he doesn’t rap about humiliation, but victim and a perpetrator of bullying into a new 100- about hope: page book, Almost Bullied to Death. Now an auto That trouble does not last forever. mechanic and the father of three, he is a small, wiry, That you are not alone. athletic man. But it wasn’t his physical stature that That someone loves you. made him vulnerable to the bullies’ abuse. It is an inspirational message he’s delivered to Speaking at the kitchen table in his LaPorte spellbound audiences at Michigan City High School home, Vargas believes it had more to do with being and Berrien County Juvenile Center. Continued on Page 2 THE Page 2 December 12, 2019 THE 911 Franklin Street • Michigan City, IN 46360 219/879-0088 • FAX 219/879-8070 Beacher Company Directory e-mail: News/Articles - [email protected] Don and Tom Montgomery Owners email: Classifieds - [email protected] Andrew Tallackson Editor http://www.thebeacher.com/ Drew White Print Salesman PRINTE ITH Published and Printed by Janet Baines Inside Sales/Customer Service T Becky Wirebaugh Typesetter/Designer T A S A THE BEACHER BUSINESS PRINTERS Randy Kayser Pressman Dora Kayser Bindery Delivered weekly, free of charge to Birch Tree Farms, Duneland Beach, Grand Beach, Hidden Shores, Long Beach, Michiana Shores, Michiana MI and Shoreland Hills. The Beacher is Hope Costello, Cheryl Joppek, Production also delivered to public places in Michigan City, New Buffalo, LaPorte and Sheridan Beach. John Baines, Karen Gehr, Dennis Mayberry Delivery One of the older teens approached Vargas and Continued from Page 1 pressed a gun to his head: “You are dead, (exple- A Message... tive deleted).” Vargas was terrifi ed. But instead of executing Vargas, the gang member fi red the gun into the dirt, two inches from his left foot. Everyone fl ed, but the trauma of that moment haunts him to this day. The bullying Vargas experienced from elementa- ry school to high school never rose to that same lev- el of menace, but it could be relentless: being kicked so hard it left a charley horse, his head pushed into bricks or the simple fear of what’s next. He was con- vinced he’d never live to see 16. He was depressed, so desperate he entertained thoughts of suicide. To relieve tension, he began cutting his wrists with ra- zor blades. The fl ow of blood created a temporary sense of relief. He hid his self-infl icted wounds from his parents and teachers by wearing wristbands and long-sleeve shirts. By seventh grade, he’d had enough. “As crazy as it seemed, I would join a gang to pro- tect me from beatings,” he writes in his book. “But I would receive beatings from the gang if I didn’t obey their rules. It didn’t bother me because I had a sense of family, someone who cared and watched over me outside of home, which to me was more im- portant.” The tables had turned. Betty Hoeffner inspired Victor to write his 100-page book, “Putting fear into people, like they did to me, Almost Bullied to Death. made me feel good, like I was in control,” Vargas caught between two worlds. He was born in western writes in his book. He adopted the gang’s colors, in- Illinois to parents who’d emigrated from the state timidated students, even became a recruiter by sell- of Michoacán in western Mexico. The family later ing potential new members on the value of strength relocated to LaPorte. in numbers. As he writes in his book, his Mexican classmates Ironically, he says he never felt alienated from his would say, “O no nacistes en Mexico? (Oh, you real family. He loved his parents, Porfi rio and Cruz, weren’t born in Mexico?) Tu eres un gringo!” (You so much so he chose not to seek their help, fearing are a gringo). And to some of his Anglo classmates, they’d be devastated to learn of what he’d endured. he was derisively known as “brown boy” or “beaner.” “My parents came to the United States so their In addition, he was quiet, artistic, slightly different. children could have a better life,” says Vargas, who And vulnerable. has a younger sister and brother. “They had to give He tried to escape from it all through music as he laid the groundwork for becoming a rapper. But that didn’t always work, especially on a day in More About Vargas middle school when he and his friends were play- To contact Victor Vargas for a speaking engage- ing baseball in a backyard. That’s when a gang of ment and musical performance, visit the Hey older teens — brothers and cousins — suddenly ap- U.G.L.Y. website (heyugly.org) or call (219) 814- peared. Recognizing trouble, his friends scattered, 4224. His book is available at amazon.com. but Vargas wasn’t quick enough. THE December 12, 2019 Page 3 up their culture. They would have been very upset to learn about what their child was going through.” GRANITE Gang life for Vargas was relatively short-lived. It &QUARTZ began to unravel when one of the members smug- COUNTERTOPS gled a gun into school and it was discovered in a TOPS locker. Under threat of serious consequences, the student shared names of fellow gang members. With the gang disintegrated, Vargas essentially lost his protection. But the atmosphere was calmer and threats had diminished. His life took a sharp turn for the better once he reached LaPorte High School. It was there in ninth grade when he attended an anti-bullying/anti-rac- ism workshop led by Betty Hoeffner of Hey U.G.L.Y. Vargas was selected to be one of the presenters at a school assembly, and he was invited to be a guest disc jockey on the organization’s “Choose to Change” radio show. He was among the students interviewed about bullying by producers for “Nick News,” the Nickelodeon show hosted by Linda Ellerbee, who also was an NBC News correspondent. At GQ Tops we are excited to bring “Full-Slab” viewing of beautifully crafted quartz products, natural granite, marble and quartzite to customers in Northwest Indiana! While other companies ask patrons to choose from small sample pieces, GQ Tops full-slab viewing assists our customers in visualizing how each unique piece will look in their space, especially patterns with a lot of movement! Every job, no matter the size, is important to us. Our focus is to provide excellence in quality materials, customer service and craftsmanship. We proudly service Northwest Indiana and surrounding areas. 1862 W. 81st Avenue • 219-992-0000 Victor was among the students interviewed about bullying by producers www.GQTops.com for “Nick News,” the Nickelodeon show hosted by Linda Ellerbee. It was about that time a youth advocate for Pur- due University-North Central (now Purdue North- Happy Holidays from GQ Tops! west) told students from low-income families about The Premier GRANITE & QUARTZ Showroom scholarship opportunities at the university or other Indiana colleges. The students participated in a in Northwest Indiana! community service project and did it so well, they won a trip to New York City and met celebrities like Hours: Queen Latifah. Monday Tuesday Wednesday & Friday Life wasn’t perfect for Vargas in high school, 8:30 am to 5 pm where some students remembered him for his gang Thursdays 10 am to 7 pm affi liation. But for the fi rst time in his life, he could Saturdays 9 am to 3 pm envision a future. Despite the possibility of a college scholarship, Vargas didn’t think he could handle the Sundays CLOSED stress of four more years of school. Instead, he opted for a trade, a career path he discovered in an auto- Stop in or call for a personalized appointment! motive shop class in high school. (219) 992-0000 After graduating, Vargas was eager for a change We look forward to working with YOU! of scenery. He bid a bittersweet farewell to his fam- Continued on Page 4 THE Page 4 December 12, 2019 harmed and ask for their forgiveness. The cathartic Continued from Page 3 exercise went well, and Vargas believes he’s fi nally A Message... emptied his backpack of those troubling experienc- ily and moved to eastern Pennsylvania with his es of his youth. girlfriend. Vargas enrolled in a one-year program at Hoeffner had another bit of advice for Vargas. a trade school where he learned custom car resto- “I told him he should write a book about his ex- ration and painting.