Bringing Torah to Life #7- Building Parent-Child Relationships Part 3
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Dedicated in memory of Rachel Leah bat R' Chaim Tzvi Volume I, number 48 Brought to you by Naaleh.com Chassidut: Parshat Teruma – The Mishkan Based on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rabbi Hershel Reichman The Shem MiShmuel discusses a disagree- love stem from? According to the Ramban soul. The Mishkan had three points of ment about when the commandment to and the Zohar, it was a direct natural holiness. The Chatzer was open for all Jews build the Tabernacle was given. Ramban outcome of Matan Torah. They felt except those who were impure. The Kodesh and the Zohar maintain that the mitzva Hashem’s closeness so intensely that they was open only to the kohanim. And the came right after the giving of the Torah poured out their ahavat Hashem through Kodesh Kadashim was closed all year before the sin of the golden calf. Rashi and their donations to the Mishkan. Rashi and except on Yom Kippur when only the kohein the midrashim say that it was given after the midrashim maintain that the Jewish gadol was allowed entrance. cheit haegel, as a sign of the Jewish people’s love was aroused as a result of Time also has multiple levels of kedusha. nation’s reconciliation with Hashem. cheit haegel. After Moshe showed the Rosh Chodesh is more holy than weekdays, Almost everything about the Mishkan was Jewish people how they had distanced yet work is permitted. On Yom Tov we can miraculous. The Aron fit into the Kodesh themselves from Hashem, they did teshuva perform work for ochel nefesh (food prepara- Kadashim despite the fact that its physical at the deepest level of their souls. This tion) but all other work is prohibited. On dimensions were bigger than the space of engendered a tremendous yearning to do Shabbat even work for ochel nefesh is the Kodesh Kodashim. The Leviim did not the will of Hashem, which in turn led to their prohibited. Holiness is found within every really carry the Aron, it floated on its own. outstanding donations to the Mishkan. Jew. All Jews must maintain the holiness of The wooden beams of the Mishkan, which The Shem MiShmuel posits that perhaps Kedoshim tihiyu, avoiding all prohibited were coated with solid gold, were so both explanations are correct. They aveirot. The second level is restraining immense and heavy, they could not received the mitzva to build the Mishkan oneself from permitted pleasures in order to possibly be transported in a few wagons right after Matan Torah, when they were on achieve more holiness. The third level is harnessed to oxen. Yet they were. Even the level of Adam before the sin. They were knowing Hashem in all of one’s ways. This though the Mishkan was a physical more spiritual than physical, and that is what is the level of a tzaddik. structure, it went beyond the laws of nature. the Mishkan originally was supposed to be. One can come closer to Hashem by On what basis where the Jewish people After the sin, when they lost the two crowns responding with love to the tremendous able to create such a miraculous phenom- of naaseh v’nishma and with it their immortal- wonders, blessings, and love that Hashem enon? The Shem MiShmuel answers that it ity, they became physical, flawed humans showers upon us. This represents the first was in the merit of their incredible love for again struggling with good and evil. Mishkan after Matan Torah. Sometimes our Hashem. They demonstrated this love with Therefore, the Mishkan after cheit haegel sins separate us from Hashem. We are lost, their magnanimous donations to the had much more physicality than the original and we need our Creator to bring us back to Mishkan. Hashem repaid their extraordi- Mishkan, which was supposed to be built the light. If we seek Him we will find him. nary national expression of love with His after Matan Torah. This represents the Mishkan after cheit own love, expressed through the miracles Every person is given unique challenges haegel. May we merit to find fulfill our roles of the Mishkan. and a chance to reach their own specific in this world using both levels of relating to Where did the Jewish people’s profound level of kedusha. Kedusha manifests itself G-d. on different levels in time, place, and the Bringing Torah To Life #7- Building Parent-Child Relationships Part 3 Based on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller We continue our discussion on effectively clear and limited. Anything you can do to children what you don’t want them to do. parenting to our teenaged children. make your teens feel big by being obedient This shows that you’re admitting that they’re Putting them down when they do something is much better than making them feel small capable of doing it. It’s much better if you outrageous just adds fuel to the fire. for disobeying authority. Don’t be reactive to bring them up in a way that you can trust Instead, your weapon should be kavod. If your teen’s sullen or aggressive behavior. It them. If you haven’t and you want them to your daughter wants to buy an immodest will just draw you into a cycle that will be feel trusted anyway, don’t ask too many skirt, tell her, “This is cheap looking. I want very hard to get out of. Talk to him as though questions but be on top of them in a subtle you to look like a refined, quality, girl.” he is the child you want him to be, not the way. Realize that the bargain basement look is child he really is. Treat him as though he is A huge problem with boys is their insatiable usually the cool look, so be prepared to mature and acting appropriately and he’ll desire to sleep. The first thing to do is to try spend more money for reasonably contem- become that way. to get out of the picture. When your son is in porary and refined clothing. Talk to your Some parents vacillate with rules. Should a good mood, take him to the store and tell daughters about the inner beauty and kids have a curfew, should they be given him, “I don’t like the morning hassle. Pick royalty of modesty. The more you can get spending money, etc? This is all individual, yourself an alarm clock. You’re old enough them to take pride in having a certain but the basic rule is if you’ve given your to take care of yourself.” If he takes account- quality image, the more tzniut will become a children a foundation where they’ve ability, then it’s off you. If he won’t take diminished battle. integrated the meaning of your demands, responsibility, then it’s on you, because Boundaries are crucial, but try to keep them you can request a lot less. Don’t tell your you’re liable for his future. Unfortunately, this Continued on next page... visit us online at: www.naaleh.com | for questions, suggestions, or dedication opportunities, email [email protected] 1 Bringing Torah To Life #7- Building Parent-Child Relationships Part 3 Based on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller Continued from Page 1 s one of those unsolvable problems. You a group of rebels. Think five times before positive, before making the switch. have to try to do your best. There may be you place your son in an alternative Choose your battles. A significant number a physical component, or it may be an environment. If you’ve gone there and seen of students in Neve are girls who went off emotional escape. If a boy isn’t succeeding that the Rosh Yeshiva, by playing personal- the derech and are now coming back. An in yeshiva or he finds davening too long or ity magic, has succeeded in creating a unbelievable proportion of these girls have boring, he may not have a reason to get positive environment in a non exclusive mentioned that the most significant source up. Try to make learning and tefilla more setting, then it can work out fine. of their conflict with their mothers was over appealing. It is important for kids to feel For girls, academics should not play a keeping their rooms clean. This is definitely successful in the framework they’re in. critical factor in choosing a school. If your not worth pushing your daughter off the If your son is not succeeding, you may daughter would be happier in a school derech for. A good rule to keep in mind is want to consider a different option. Be where her friends are or where the that anything that won’t matter in thirty careful though. Grouping problems doesn’t teachers are nicer, let her go. If she’s failing years shouldn’t matter today. Your daughter work. If the critical mass of a group are in the school she chose and you really think will learn cleanliness and neatness kids who are failing, the energy will be of a she could succeed elsewhere, look very eventually. Don’t expend your energies group of failures which can easily turn into carefully and see if the critical mass is over it now. The Unique Joy of Adar Based on a Naaleh.comshiur by Rabbi Eliezer Miller Our Jewish calendar is full of special days Yom Kippur and the Jews accepted the repents out of love, one’s sins are that have a unique influence on us and help Torah again out of love on Purim.