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Pop Diva Britney .Spears1 Turns Satanic

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Pop Diva Britney .Spears1 Turns Satanic * .V.% .. ... ~ - ~ - re. L: .=%a;- :::-* > %*:; :r.$ >;+:, , ' < :*- .>.*.*:.'. ,.-. .-6 -. -7 -- , ;. : - . '..-- ..j I.. .. FA.<? --.. *. ' _ 1: . ..-. >%:~.x+.- .4-- -,- I.*-;- ' '. , < -. ;-..-.-x,ii +: .., >. ,. .. s- $ . .--.. h.-. ;-G&: \T... '. .-. $.?:& -* -, . ..:, ,-*w. .- - 1 ,... .. 1 - , :: . ."";-.- fl...#*w.., ..- "$ +J:.'.' .-- . -a. ., ., .r .L:+; 7y +, . ! ' ;.-.F ~ ,>:< - :-> :+:L:. .-'~.:... .- &3,4-;t'*.,:..:& - *% ::- = , ,.. ~ ,-.. e... - , .. <&-*-,.,.... -L +. .: . .,- . , . ,&~32:?-;:::, . - .. , . \. .. - :~.- VOL& WXYZ, N&BER 45000001 , 'TUESDAY,APRIL 1, 2003. ; , PUBLISHEDTWICE WEEKLY ' !woodchuck Chucks Seven,Researche.rs Say , . BYMANSOORKHAN that our research would be rliktorical question." Can ~ornebodyFind MY Pants? inconclusive, and for a long time it Sources at BNL did not 1 was. Fortunate1y, my grad student return Statesman calls. , *Years of research has noticed a pattem in the data and ' culniinakd in, an answer to the brought it to my attention." ' Age old question: "How much "Yeah, well, [the - . wood could a woodchuck chuck woodchucks] pretty much all if a woodchuck could chuck chucked, like, seven or so , @*-* TY-Q.- - --_ :wood?" Researchers at trees," said Candy smith: a ::-Brookhaven National Laboratory graduate student in the recently completed!a four-year Environmental Ecology program . ' study investigating thenumber of at Stony Brook University. -.- ' spruce trees that Mkraota, "Don't tell 01' Pokereskyov I $aid ,.: .. - z . ;-. ., mmux, the common woodqhuck, this, but I don't know why he I ,.- GF groundhog, could pr& X- hesso much." the span of 24 hours. According to Pokanivski, the ' his represepts a huge , B OU~~CS~w~"g60 .cornI potential that this research brings . - accomplishment for us," said, he woodchuck sulks its prey, u*tlng qu~ethlin ing* &at. SI%I~, is astonishing, openin4 doors to Dmitri Pokavinski, ph.D., the silently, R awaits the right moment to strlke. BAM! many other facets of the scientific primary investigator of the study. in literally hundreds of different researchers determined that the and ecological community. - "BNL is on the foiefront of habitats, researchers were able to woodchuck does indeed have a Students at Stony Brook research, and our 'ability to compile data leading to a natural potential and ,tendency University are enthusiastic ahit 1 decode even the most difficult of definitive answer to the question toward processing a certain the reSults, citingfuture nature's mysteriks proves that many thought could never be amount of wood: seven spruce and academic promise. science can conquer all." answqed. Utilizing a bique and trees in a 24-hour period. "Woodchucks?" s Through obgenration and complex system of calculation "We were skeptical at fi&" Brook sophomore Rohit Das. COU~~CSYof WWW.&C.CO analysd of woodchuck behavior and deduction, called counting, Pekansky said.7 honestly thought "What? I 'thought that was a I chuck seven. Pop Diva Britney .Spears1Turns Satanic Apparently, Spears has middle-aged man realized that ~atan"will~oona&~.~.~cbmnkb~ars Ulrich. abandoned the pop scene there were several other young, the album. The metal sellout of tfK *-%a,J& an~I are plwnhg P,n completely and has entered the beautiful, half-nakedsuperstars to 20" cenhuy, Metallica, has agreed gefihg-hr &I&. .iYeahhhhh.. realm of hardcore death metal consider. The overly enthusiastic to tour with Spears. ~~tbpseofy~$~ho I kith a band called, "I'm A Slave middle-aged man then smiled, ran 'Well, it just seems that this is reallyfeel~~Y&~oney,s- For You, Satan." .. quickly 6 his room,and forcibly the next monumental step in the craat dates and tick& information @ When approached for closed and locked h2s door. Metallica musical era," said will be made available in June. a comment, Spears began to "I'm ASlave For You, Satan" I mumble random, indecipherable is releasing a self-titled album this words that were seemingly part summer. Since no true metalhead of some Satanic prayer. with scene shred of dignity felt like "I realized that my yoice , joining a band with the name really sucked," said'spears after Britney Spears datedwith it, being slapped in the face. "In Spears is a one-woman show. death metal, 911 the vocalist has Some of the tracks included on the to do is growl. It's so easy." soon to be re14album are re- Spears has abandoned Death Metal Crooner Brltney ~OfSpears'pop~ Spars, soen here In the new millions of fans worldwide, most but Spears growls instead of . uniform she wlll rrqulrr her of them overiy enthusiastic atkxkqting to sing. background dancers to wear. middle-aged men. After a long "I didn't realize that metal BY ROHITDAS and arduous search, one overly bands actually write their own Roommate of Wally Chang ' enthusiastic middle-aged man music!" Spears cried. "I'm too Britney Spears, once an was reached for comment. stoopid to-writemy own music. I extremely pqdarpop-singer in the I think I'm going to become used to have people write it for me. mabtrearnmusic wotld, was seen i metalhead now," he said. After a I didn't know what else to do." last night having a pentagram few minutes of focused, decisive &therelease of their debut Courtesy of gaog1e.com BrItney 8PQMI Is "lldt that innocent." LOL!!!!!!1 tattooed onto her forehead. thought, the overly enthusiastic ' album, "I'm A Slave For You, 1 2 I Totally Free Checking ... Applications are available for the following IN0 STRINGS ATTACHED1 Executive Board Positions at SBU-N for 200312004: Program Director Production Manager Chief Editor Office Manager Forms can be picked up at the SBU-N Office, Room 059, Student Union. Application Deadline is April 10th. I EXPRESS "The WeSpeaks For Itself" ll *, II FREE Deluxe Continental Breakfast FREE Local Phone Calls FREE Indoor Pool & Fitness Center FREE Shuttle Servi'ce to SUNY, Islip airport & local attractions Priority Club Benefits Jacuzzi Rooms and Family Suites Available Ask About Our Special S UNY Rute Allguest rooms feature cable with HBO, Eutcore, CNN, MSG, pay-per- Pee Our Free Checking Account is one of the heat Ixznefith of view movies or Nintendo; irons w/ironing boards, coflee makers, data ports ~netlll~er\hlp. in all rooms and all king-sized rooms have microwaves and refi-igerators. No minimum balance WE HOST LMEETINGS UP TO 100 PEOPLE No monthly fees or per chkck fees AND CHILDREN'S POOL PARTIES! Free online banking I II Divide~~dspaid on balances over $500 For Reservations: Unlimitecl checkewriting privileges Free Visa Clleck Card for easy access at ATMs and shopping Call Direct: 4 71-8000 /1 -800-HOLIDAY A savings account, with a minimum balance of $50, is I required to open your TFCU membership account. I Really, no kidding! No strings attached! I 3 131 Nesconset Highway, Stony Brook, NY 11 720 On-campus branches: (One mile east of Rte. 97lNicolls Rd., on Rte. 347) Student Activities Cetiter and Health Sciences Center * Other TFCU branches: Amityville, Bay Shore, Bohemia, Commack, Farmingville, North Babylon, Port Jefferson Station and South Setauket. I Proud saonsor of the Staller Center for the Arts. I The Educated Choice I VOLUMEXLVI. NUMBER46. MONDAY,MARCH 31, 2003 PUBLISHEDTWICE WEEKLY NYPIRG Slams Legislators Coming to the Aid of AIDS "It is preventable and treatable, but BYREGINA GLICK still millions are dying," Steigbigel Statesman Staff said; echoing former President Bill New York legislators' offices across the Clinton's take on the issue. HIV is state were flooded with calls during a "phone most widespread in the continent of slam" organized by the New York Public Africa and fastest growing in East Interest ~ese&chGroup on Tuesday. Asia, which, Steigbigel said, is due The calls were part of NYPIRG's efforts largely to the lack of preventative to block tuition increases and funding cuts to measures. the New York State public university system. "By 2010, there are expected to be NYPIRG members set up a table in front as many children 'orphaned' by AIDS of the Union and offered passersby the use of in Africa as there are school-aged their cell phones to call the offices of Governor children in the U.S.," Steigbigel said. George E. Pataki, State Assembly Speaker The HIV virus was identified in Sheldon Silver, Senate Majority Leader 1981 by Michael S. Gottlieb. It is an Joseph Bruno, Assemblyman Ron RNA retrovirus, which allows it .to Canestrari, chair of theAssemb1y7shigher covvA, its ugenetic seauence from RNA Dr. Roy Steigbigel conducts HIV/AIDS research' at the University Hospital. education committee,'and Senators to DN. The HIV virus inserts itself Kenneth LaValle and John Flanagan, BYMANSOOR KHAN where the world is today with HIVI into the host individual's gellome, Suffolk County's senators. Statesman Editor AIDS research. where it will use the cell's Callers were given typed handouts In 2002, 3.1 million deaths were By the end of 2002, he said, theie machinery to reproduce itself. with suggested messages to leave for the caused*by AIDS. were 42 million people with HIV According to Steigbigel, this politicians, such as "[~ataki's]proposal "Compare that to the five worldwidl, and five million of those makes it especially hard to fight, to raise tuition, cut financial aid, and cut anthrax deaths [in 2OOZ?'I," said Dr. were new cases. The disease is still because conventional drugs~cannotget funds for colleges and universities is bad Roy Steigbigel, who gave a lecture growing, and Steigbigel, who conducts rid of a virus embedded in the DNA. public policy." at Stony-Brook entitled "HIV & research in the Infectious Diseases The life cycle of AIDSIHIV starts Pataki has proposed raising SUNY AIDS: An'Update." Division of the Department of with a primary infection, which causes tuition by $1,200, cutting the Tuition Steigbigel gave a brief overview Medicne, feels that the epidemic could fever rashes diarrhea headaches, Assistance Program by one-third, reducing of the disease's history .and discussed be stopped. the SUNY operating budget by 15 percent and downsizing the Educational Opportunity Program.
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