Domestic Deathcare: the Effect of Home Funerals on the Grieving Process

Winona State University OpenRiver Counselor Education Capstones Counselor Education - Graduate Studies 5-1-2019 Domestic Deathcare: The Effect of Home Funerals on the Grieving Process Eva Pitsch Winona State University Follow this and additional works at: https://openriver.winona.edu/counseloreducationcapstones Recommended Citation Pitsch, Eva, "Domestic Deathcare: The Effect of Home Funerals on the Grieving Process" (2019). Counselor Education Capstones. 97. https://openriver.winona.edu/counseloreducationcapstones/97 This Capstone Paper is brought to you for free and open access by the Counselor Education - Graduate Studies at OpenRiver. It has been accepted for inclusion in Counselor Education Capstones by an authorized administrator of OpenRiver. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Running head: HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF i Domestic Deathcare: The Effect of Home Funerals on the Grieving Process Eva Pitsch A Capstone Project submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Science Degree in Counselor Education at Winona State University Spring 2019 HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF ii Domestic Deathcare: The Effect of Home Funerals on the Grieving Process Winona State University College of Education Counselor Education Department CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL __________________________ CAPSTONE PROJECT ___________________ This is to certify that the Capstone Project of Eva Pitsch Has been approved by the faculty advisor and the CE 695 – Capstone Project Course Instructor in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Science Degree in Counselor Education Capstone Project Supervisor: ______ ____________ Name Approval Date: ______5/8/2019____________ HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF iii Abstract In the United States, there is a growing movement towards home and alternative funeral practices. Little is known about how this shift might impact the grief process. In order to understand the contemporary home funeral movement, it is important to examine pivotal moments in the history of funerals in America—like the Civil War, Industrial Revolution and the popularization of the genteel code. Additionally, research on grief and funerals provides general context and insight on the influence of funeral rituals on mourning. Though much of the literature on conventional funerals and family’s responses to loss apply to alternative deathcare, there is also some anecdotal evidence to suggest that the unique qualities of home funerals give families more time and space to heal. HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF iv Contents Introduction………………………………………………………………………………………1 Review of Literature……………………………………………………………………………...2 Discussion……………………………………………………………………………………… 16 Author’s Note……………………………………………………………………………………19 References……………………………………………………………………………………….21 Appendix A….…………………………………………………………………………………..24 Appendix B……………………………………………………………………………………...27 Appendix C………………………………………………………………………………………34 HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF v Running head: HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF 1 Domestic Deathcare: The Effect of Home Funerals on the Grieving Process Across all cultures, humans have displayed a great need to understand death. The ritual that is carried out after a person crosses over the threshold is part of this desire to understand, and an acknowledgment of the importance and mystery of the transition from a life to death. In the United States, the standard service involves embalming the body, and placing the ornate hardwood or metal casket in a cement vault in a vast grassy cemetery (Kelly, 2015). These customs differ greatly from the simple home funerals of early America (Olson, 2016). Many historical factors shaped the contemporary American funeral—forces which pushed the service and care of the dead out of the private sphere and into public spaces and into the hands of professionals (Harris, 2007). Members of the modern home funeral movement educate and empower families to make choices about deathcare—including the option of caring for the dead at home and holding a service in the dwelling of the deceased (Herring, 2019). Unfortunately, empirical research specifically on the topic of grief and home funerals is lacking (Kelly, 2015). Most of the evidence is anecdotal and gathered through interviews with families (Herring, 2019). The limited research on the impact of home funerals is overwhelmingly positive (Maxera, 2017). Research questions The purpose of this Capstone project is to investigate the impact of home funerals on grief within the family system. More generally, what is a funeral and why are rituals important for grieving families? What is grief and how does existing research inform the movement towards bringing deathcare back to the home? Examining these factors leads to the exploration of the background of home funerals and what families find therapeutic about these intimate home gatherings. HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF 2 Historical perspectives on home funerals Beard and Burger (2017) report that death rituals in early America were simple, brief, family affairs. Women (predominately) washed, dressed, and otherwise prepared the bodies for burial (Olson, 2016). According to Olson (2016), the care of the dead and dying was viewed as an extension of domestic duties. The history of funeral rituals is long and complex, for the purposes of framing the current home funeral movement it is important to understand a few key historical events and shifts in American society. Namely: The Civil War, advances in mortuary science, increased wealth resulting from the Industrial Revolution, and the genteel code (Beard & Burger, 2017). Another major change came in the 1960s and 70's following an investigation of the funeral industry that resulted in more stringent consumer protection rules (Kopp & Kemp, 2007; Kelly, 2015). Throughout literature on home and alternative funerals, there is a deep preoccupation with the chemical preservation of the body (Kelly, 2015; Herring, 2019). Embalming is the process of replacing bodily fluids with a chemical solution that retards decomposition (Harris, 2007). The practice has remained a staple of the modern funeral industry in part because morticians have argued that corpses pose a public health risk, which is misleading and widely disproven (Kelly, 2015). Although the practice of embalming the corpse may seem trivial or so normalized as to seem unextraordinary, it is, in fact, the basis for the modern funeral industry as we know it. Scientific innovations and the need to transport soldiers slain in the Civil War led to the practice of embalming (Olson, 2016). As many as forty thousand Civil War soldiers were embalmed by newly trained civilian medical professionals—and sent back North from battlegrounds in the South (Kelly, 2015). Additionally, the body of Abraham Lincoln was HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF 3 embalmed in 1865, then traveled by train from Washington D.C. to Illinois and was subsequently viewed by thousands of people during the funeral service (Herring, 2019). Lincoln’s funeral was a factor in the rapid popularization of the practice of preserving the body with chemicals (Herring, 2019). The event served to confirm that embalming was a viable option (Harris, 2007). Around this time there was a growing fear that corpses posed a public health risk (Kelly, 2015). Before the Civil War, embalming was considered a violation of the corpse and was negatively associated with Pagan and Egyptian practices (Harris, 2017). However, the war was such a cataclysmic blow that perhaps people were more willing to embrace the practice (Kelly, 2015). The end result was the delegitimization of home deathcare: By commercializing, technifying, and regulating deathcare through law and licensure, undertakers drew deathcare out of the domestic sphere and reorganized it within the male-dominated, public-professional sphere. Morticians denigrated the knowledge and skills that had validated women’s custody of the corpse prior to the professionalization of deathcare (Olson, 2016, p. 199). Olson (2016) describes the point of the departure from the home funeral. The field of mortuary science that is, today, fully established as a professional field was initiated by the technical innovation of embalming because it was not possible to execute at home (Olson, 2016). Kelly (2015) states that in addition to taking funerals out of the home sphere, embalmers’ professionalization of the service capitalizes on the grieving. Meanwhile, the spread of the genteel code of conduct called for overt displays of wealth that extended to the funeral rites that signaled family riches to the American public (Beard & Burger, 2017). The influx of wealth from the boom of the Industrial Revolution inspired many to mimic the elites of England, for example, copying the custom of buying elaborate caskets, HOME FUNERALS AND GRIEF 4 flowers, and headstones (Beard & Burger, 2017). The growing middle class, gentility, and capitalism combined forces and readily expanded on the simple funeral—churning out goods and services (Harris, 2007). Elaborate and lavish funerals became the standard to appear respectable and in good taste (Harris, 2007). One may point to a cultural shift towards gentility in the mid-nineteenth century as the point at which money and funerals started going hand and hand (Harris, 2007). According to Kopp and Kemp (2007), a funeral is often the third most expensive purchase a person makes in their lifetime, exceeded only by a house and car. Jessica Mitford's withering critique of the funeral industry, The American Way of Death, brought America’s

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