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Wrapped Too Tight? DATING, DRIVING, SOCIAL MEDIA & MORE: CAN WE PROTECT THEM?
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JULY | AUGUST CONTENTS & ON THE COVER 46 Teen Dating Love may be blind but parents need CHAIKEN 35 Wrapped Too Tight? to recognize the signs of an unhealthy Dating, driving, social media & more: can relationship we protect them? ATTORNEYS 14 Planning for the Long Term 15 Hot Home Trends Five do-able do-overs to increase your 20 Is Now the Time to Build Your property’s value while making it the Dream Home? home of your dreams We asked Guaranty Bank’s CEO Chuck Cowell PASSION. 67 Girlfriend Goals Good Morning Texas’ Paige McCoy Smith 22 Understanding the Sandwich INTEGRITY. shares her tips on keeping friends close Generation FORTITUDE. 28 Transform Your Dorm 54 Book Review: Missoula The hard to hear story you need to 12 Asked & Answered hear Since 1998, Chaiken & Expert answers to your most pressing legal questions Chaiken PC has estab- lished a reputation for GOOD EATS “I ” honesty, integrity, and in- S K H , , 24 DELIcious GLF | P novation that has earned DELI NEWS delivers the goods the recognition of their GOOD TO GO clients, peers, judges, and GOOD KIDS 26 Purposeful Packing indeed, even their adver- A simpli ed, comprehensive pre-college “M packing and to-do list to make the rst steps saries. Whether the case a little easier ” is for a single individual P MC S or a Fortune 500 compa- GOOD PEOPLE ( ny, the rm employs the 8 VIP Award Recipient Lauren Zlotky J L A C ). F same dedication and per- | P sonal commitment for GOOD ADVICE every case. GOOD TIMES “S .” 48 Learning Curve Ahead The ABCs of mental health for college-bound S P teens 58 Capers Cooking Parties Specializing in Business ‘ ’ L S . Bobbie Ames is on a mission to make and Injury Litigation. T G K A | P 42 Does No Mean GO? meals fun again Dr. Sandy Gluckman tells us how to establish 34 Young CEOs healthy boundaries 60 Calendar and Event Photos 5801 Tennyson Pkwy #440 AND MUCH MORE! Legacy Town Center III Plano, TX, 75024 Every e ort has been made to authenticate the information contained on these pages. Should you nd an error, omission or issue with the content, please contact us. The (214) 265-0250 4 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 opinions and expressions contained herein are those of the myriad of specialists and of parents and children who were willing to o er their input, and are not necessarily endorsed or shared by the sta or ownership of Good Life Family or its parent company, SLP & Company, LLC. www.chaikenlaw.com CHAIKEN & CHAIKEN ATTORNEYS
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Since 1998, Chaiken & Chaiken PC has estab- lished a reputation for honesty, integrity, and in- novation that has earned the recognition of their clients, peers, judges, and indeed, even their adver- saries. Whether the case is for a single individual or a Fortune 500 compa- ny, the rm employs the same dedication and per- sonal commitment for every case.
Specializing in Business and Injury Litigation.
5801 Tennyson Pkwy #440 Legacy Town Center III Plano, TX, 75024 (214) 265-0250 www.chaikenlaw.com GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 5 Let’s Get Ready to Rumble! You can run but you can’t hide. e line opponent – our kids! We take our available to them. Our team of was originated by the heavyweight champion eyes o the prize for a split second editors, writers and advisors Joe Louis, just before his 1946 rematch victory and BANG – we’ve been sucker are in the ringside seats, and over the lighter, faster Billy Conn. Conn was punched! Kids are savvier than ever; it’s our goal to channel your boasting pre-bout about his strategy to “hit and they know how to play the rope-a- inner contender. run”, and the ever-condent Louis responded, dope. ey let us think we are in control, and I am grateful to share the “He can run but he can’t hide!” I say these while we are trying to keep up with their grades, parenting journey with you. Punch us in on words oen. My kids would say too oen. I their social media and their whereabouts, they Facebook, slip us some pictures and knock us suppose you’ve guessed that I have never been are busy perfecting the bob and weave! out with your thoughts. ese are challenging a believer in running nor hiding. Turns out Tweens and teens are particularly vulnerable times. Let’s go the distance together. Louis underestimated his opponent’s feistiness to underestimating the consequences of their and it nearly cost him the title. And it also turns adolescent missteps. e choices our teens out boxing is a great metaphor for facing life’s make can sometimes make them (and us) want - Sheryl challenging choices. to run and hide, but ultimately there is nothing LIVE.LEARN.LAUGH. SPAR! REPEAT. As parents, we oen feel like we are in a to be gained by running (to a dierent school, philosophical boxing match with a lighter, faster state or continent), because you can’t outrun yourself. As I oen say, “Wherever you go, ABOUT US “In the boxing ring of life, there you are.” There are two things parents hope to give their As parents, we have to be ever-wiser and children: roots and wings. But it’s often hard to know if step up our game to keep up with our kids. the decisions we’re making are the right ones, especially it’s not how hard you can What’s your parenting style? Are you a roll when the world is changing so quickly. Good Life Family with the punches relaxed parent, a stay is a resource for parents with kids tweens to twenties. hit, but rather how many in your neutral corner parent, or a jump into center ring and go the distance type? Good Life Family will help navigate the challenges of times you can get hit and Our mission with Good Life Family is to raising good kids — kids who will nd their own paths open the doors of communication – to to happiness. Extensive and insightful content will keep moving forward.” encourage parents to talk to their kids, to address the daily joys and struggles of nding a balance between kids and parents while keeping ourselves sane - Rocky other parents and to professional resources in the process. Good Life Family also celebrates parents who are THE GOOD PEOPLE at goodLIFEfamily making a di erence in their families, their communities, and to those in need. You’ll meet inspiring women and EDITORIAL TEAM Rick Seaney MARKETING & EVENTS men who have stared down life’s challenges, survived, Sheryl Lilly Pidgeon Travel Editor Kimberly Brown and now are willing to share their journey with you. Founder and Editor-In-Chief Farecompare.com Marketing Manager [email protected] [email protected] Good Life Family is committed to making a di erence Direct: 214.476.8131 Bobbie Ames Direct: 214.280.6838 in the lives of our families, friends and communities as Food & Entertaining Editor the go-to source. Tricia White [email protected] BUSINESS OFFICE Managing Editor Deborah Leshefsky [email protected] WRITERS Keeper of The Books We’re living, we’re learning, and most important, Direct: 214.725.1981 Karyn Brodsky we’re laughing. We hope you will too. Madison Cook Michael Doyle, CPA Tracy Graivier Bell Jeanne Glick Senior Copy Editor Cala Pence PRODUCTION TEAM Contact Us Charles Satter eld Beth Donahue Kendel Ahnell Julie Taylor Creative Director SUBSCRIBE: GoodLifeFamilyMag.com Digital Magazine Editor Alicia Wanek ADVERTISE: Kim Brown at 214.280.6838 or [email protected] James Bland ADVERTISING Photography [email protected] Melissa Chaiken Sonia Black SUBMIT EDITORIAL IDEAS: Tricia White at Social and Philanthropy Editor Advertising Account Executive Bill Brock [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Videographer Direct: 214.232.3040 Jenny Wood Michael Tinglin School and Education Editor Melinda Bogoslavsky User Experience Manager GOOD LIFE FAMILY [email protected] Advertising Account Executive [email protected] 3308 PRESTON ROAD Direct: 214.264.0975 STE 350 PMB #113 PLANO, TX 75093 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com 6 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodPEOPLE Contributors Paige McCoy Smith, TV Personality Sandy Gluckman, PhD, Dr. Susan Sugerman, Rick Seaney, Travel Expert Paige McCoy Smith is a television personali- Functional Behavior & Health Coach Adolescent Medicine Physician Internationally known travel and ty, radio host and professional speaker who “Dr. Sandy” is a Functional Behavior Board Certi ed by the American Academy airfare expert Rick Seaney, CEO and has entertained and educated audiences and Health Coach for parents who have of Pediatrics, Dr. Sugerman is the presi- co-founder of FareCompare, is with content that children that are struggling with learn- dent and co-founder of Girls to Women the media’s go-to resonates with the ing, mood and behavior challenges. Her Health and Wellness (GTW), a multidis- resource for airline “not so perfect” side internationally acclaimed program, Par- ciplinary medical practice in north Dallas industry news. of life. She is a regu- entsTakeCharge.com introduces parents dedicated to the physical and emotional Rick’s mission is lar on WFAA Channel to drug-free options to treating learning, needs of girls and clear: “I want to 8’s Good Morning behavior and mood challenges, as well young women ages help consumers nd Texas and has made as teaches new ways of parenting. She 10-25. Published au- the best ight deals a name for herself lectures, runs work- thor and speaker on available every time they shop” and he being a real and relat- shops and con- subjects ranging from loves to share his insider information. able mom who gives women the freedom sults throughout adolescent develop- Besides his advice blog on FareCom- to be who they are: perfectly imperfect. As the world live or ment, bullying, sex- pare, Rick began writing a weekly col- Paige says, “It’s not about being perfect. It’s online. uality, and risk taking umn for ABC News back in 2008 which about being real. Let’s stumble on this jour- to resilience and preparing teens to tran- continues to this day; he is also USA ney together.” sition to college, she brings a professional Today’s Airfare Expert columnist as well perspective on “what’s normal and what’s as a regular contributor to Fox News Cecily Knobler, Stand-Up Comic, Film not” when considering the struggles and and is frequently quoted in the pages Critic and Writer Amy Levenson Krumholz, celebrations of our youth as well as some of the New York Times, Wall St. Journal, Radio host, writer and stand-up comic Ce- Designer and Stylist wisdom about how the grownups in their Hu ngton Post and more. cily Knobler currently writes Amy Levenson Krumholz has worked in lives can support them to become healthy the fashion world for over 20 years. For 14 and hosts “Live from adults who can take good care of them- Kristin Cicciarelli, Professional years she owned a showroom at the Dallas Hollywood,” provid- selves. Writer Apparel Mart and represented over 85 lines ing lm reviews and Kristin Cicciarelli is of women’s clothing and accessories. She Diana Weaver, VP, The Grant entertainment re- a freelance writer has designed three lines of contemporary Halliburton Foundation ports for 15 FM radio and editor in the sportswear and served as a retail Diane Weaver is Vice President of Devel- commercial markets Dallas area, spe- buyer, consultant and opment and Community Relations at across the U.S. and cializing in ghost stylist on numerous Grant Halliburton Foundation, a non- Canada. She was a longtime cast member writing, magazine photo shoots. For the pro t organization that works to prevent on VH1’s popular TV show Best Week Ever as articles, marketing last 12 years, Amy has suicide, promote mental health and a commentator on pop culture, politics and content including THE GOOD PEOPLE worked with individual strengthen the network of mental health at goodLIFEfamily lm. Cecily has written for many TV shows newsletters and advertising, and help- clients helping them resources for teens and young adults in and magazines including NBC’s Ready for ing small businesses improve their discover their own per- North Texas. She has successfully Love, Food Network’s Cupcake Wars, US search engine rankings. Her articles, sonal style. Her services include ward- launched three WEEKLY and Los Angeles Magazine. She generally focusing on living a healthier, robe assessment, closet makeovers and per- sons into college, authored a non- ction book entitled She’s more balanced life, have appeared in a sonal shopping. You may have caught one of and the young- Crazy, He’s a Liar, which combines funny number of print and e-zine sites includ- Amy’s fashion segments on Good Morning est graduates this personal dating stories with relationship ing Dallas Child, Skin Inc., Les Nouvelles Texas. She has three wonderful boys at three month from Santa advice. It’s available in major bookstores or Aesthetiques, Dermascope, In With di erent schools, which keep her very busy! Clara University in at cecilyknobler.com. California. Skin, AZ Net News and more. It’s a Wrap! Cover Story Photo Shoot e GLF creative team thanks these good sports for their model behavior and endurance (and for allowing us to encase them in plastic!) during the 3-hour photo session. Photographed by: James Bland, Dallas Photo Studio Styled by: Elle Parks, Elle Parks Studios www.jamesblandphoto.com www.elleparksphotography.com twitter.com/elleparksphoto James is not just a tenured and talented photographer with a huge range – every- Elle has a deep-rooted passion for pho- thing from head shots to record labels and tography, fashion, people and storytell- a client list from Mack Trucks to Morgan ing. She has been privileged with hands-on experience in New Pictured here, our models: Isaiah Robinson, Stanley – he is also a blast to work with. He York City, Italy, France, and Dallas. 15, Samantha Ito, 13, Sydney Sachs, 16, pours his heart and soul into every photo, Maddie Parks, 13, Logan White, 16 whether it’s for Rolling Stone or the new local player he took Special thanks to Je Sachs, president of Progressive Packag- (not pictured, Kyle Heckel, 12) under his wing: Good Life Family. ing, for supplying a ton (it seemed like it!) of bubble wrap. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 7 VIPAWARD A Lot to Live For A MOTHER OF TWO SETS OF TWINS, LAUREN ZLOTKY, COURAGEOUSLY SET HER SIGHTS ON BEATING BREAST CANCER…AND UNLOCKED A PASSION FOR HELPING OTHERS BATTLE THE DISEASE IN THE PROCESS.
by Julie Taylor | Contributor While her four children were very young, Lauren also owned and operated two companies – Quest Pro Con- hen Lauren Zlotky found out she was pregnant with twins, she sultants, an executive search rm, and Q Temps, a tem- was surprised and elated. Aer years of miscarriages and sev- porary agency – both in the insurance industry. Aer a Weral failed In Vitro Fertilization attempts, she and her husband, Je, few years of traveling and dealing with the stress of being were nally going to have a baby – make that two babies! Two years a business owner, Lauren realized she was jealous of her later, she was in for another surprise. Aer trying so hard for her live-in nanny because the nanny got to spend her days boys, Ryan and Reid, she was shocked to nd out she was pregnant with Lauren’s children. “I knew it wasn’t worth it any- naturally with another set of twins, and this time they were girls. more,” she recalls. “I didn’t want to miss any more of their “ey are truly a miracle,” she says. “We were in shock, but we were childhood. So, I sold my businesses.” About a year later, also very excited and very when the twins were six and three, Lau- happy to be able to have ren was in for another shock. At the age more children.” of 43, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Lauren says she was When she found out she had cancer, Lauren re- excited about the arriv- calls she said to the doctor, “I don’t have time for al of her girls, Kallie and cancer! I have four kids under the age of six! You Megan, but she was also have to get rid of this!” Although breast cancer ran very concerned about in her family, Lauren was stunned when she received taking care of four young the diagnosis because she had tested negative for the children. An important BRCA gene which checks for genetic mutations that lesson she’s learned from cause cancer. Luckily the fast growing cancer was parenting two sets of was caught early, and over the next year Lauren was Lauren with Je , Ryan, Allie , Megan and Reid celebrating the twins is that she doesn’t able to go through chemotherapy, radiation and - girls’ rst birthday. have to be perfect. “I nally surgery. “I had a great network of support,” she think we get caught up says. “My husband, his family, my parents and my on being the perfect parent, and we’re so hard on ourselves,” she brother were all there for me.” She says throughout her treatment says. “ey’re not going to remember if you took them to every story her husband, Je, was her rock. “He was calm as I was going through time. Don’t sweat the small stu. e little things you worry about it. He was trying to be strong for me. Both of us are positive thinkers, really don’t matter.” so I think that helped.”
SPOTLIGHT ON HEROES FOR CHILDREN Heroes for Children advocates for and provides nancial and social assis- (Allie’s mom) met, soon after the death of Jenny’s daughter Allie. The need tance to families with children battling cancer and is founded in memory of for Heroes for Children became evident to Co-Founders Larissa and Jenny Taylor Anne Brewton and Allison “Allie” Leigh Scott, who both passed away after they recounted not only the devastating e ects of childhood cancer from Acute Myeloid Leukemia. during their daughters’ treatments, but also the blessings they each re- Taylor passed away at just 4 years old after en- ceived from their community. Unfortunately, they each saw many other during 11 months of cancer treatment. Taylor’s families struggling without the aid and care of others. Families were losing family started a non-pro t organization called their homes, having their electricity shut o , and struggling to make ev- Taylor’s Angels in her memory to provide nancial eryday payments. Together, they saw a need for a more comprehensive or- assistance to other families with children bat- ganization and formed Heroes for Children in December tling cancer. 2004. It was the desire of these two moms to serve other Allie passed away from the same disease families battling childhood cancer. “Our vision is that no as Taylor at the tender age of 8 months 27 days after three rounds family with a child battling cancer will ght alone.” of chemotherapy, 80 blood transfusions, and a stem cell transplant. For information or to donate or volunteer contact: In October 2004, Larissa Linton (Taylor’s mom) and Jenny Scott HeroesForChildren.org. 8 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 VIPAWARD
During the treatment, Lau- ren’s children were so young they didn’t fully understand. “I think being a mom of four young kids really helped me through my can- cer treatments,” she says. “ey Swimming with the dolphins….Lauren kept me busy. I didn’t have time celebrates the end of cancer treatment in Cabo, to think about it; I just lived my Mexico with friends and family. life the best way I could. Now Ryan and Reid are 14 and Kallie and Megan are 11. e children are involved in a variety of activities, which keeps the family really busy. Lauren is a dedicated volunteer for “Heroes for Children”, a charity that ad- vocates for and provides nancial and social assistance to families with chil- dren going through cancer. “Heroes for Children means so much to me be- Double the fun: Twin sisters, Megan and Allie (in front) and twin cause of what they do for families with cancer. I realized I was so blessed not brothers, Reid and Ryan with parents Lauren and Je during a to have any nancial hardships while going through cancer treatment that I recent vacation in Mexico. wanted to support families who are not only dealing with a very ill child but are also oen losing half their family income due to one parent quitting their job to be with the sick child.”
“I don’t have time for cancer! I have four kids under the age of six!” – Lauren Zlotky
Our VIP (Very Inspiring Parent) Award honors the everyday, and not-so-everyday, heroes in our midst. Those whose tenacity, integrity and courage inspire others to exemplify the same character and put their families and community rst, in spite of the challenges life has thrown at them. Good Life Family will present the recipient with an elegant crystal award and will make a donation to the charity of their choice. There will be one VIP Award recipient in each issue of Good Life Family Magazine and featured on GoodLifeFamily.com. For complete details and to nominate someone for this prestigious award, visit www.goodlifefamilymag.com or email us at [email protected].
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10 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodLIVING Light Farms NEW HOMES NOW IN AWARD WINNING PROSPER ISD
by Karyn Brodsky | Sta Writer brand new $113.5 million high school eed to move in time for the school year? Panic no more. A is located adjacent to brand new home, in an environmentally-friendly setting, the community. withN lush landscapes, hiking and biking trails, and exceptional life- According to style amenities is as close as Celina, TX. And, as an added bonus, a RPG Marketing brand new, on-site elementary school opens this August. Coordinator Steph- Light Farms, a 1,070 acre master-planned community, is mak- anie Liebbe, Light ing the transition easy for those with a tight time frame by oering Farms was created move-in ready homes. Construction of a total of 3,000 homes is to “change the way LIGHT FARMS planned with a projected population of 10,000 residents. Choose families think about from eight area builders who represent some of the nation’s best. suburban living.” Photo courtesy of Destiny Darcy of Bellini Studios Light Farms is located less than 15 minutes from some of DFW’s e award-winning best shopping, dining and entertainment, and an exit o the Dallas Collin County community, which debuted in 2012, is “designed North Tollway is planned as an accessible main road into the com- around a passion to bring people together to promote a healthy, munity. With designs for every preference, prices that range from lively attitude that resonates throughout the community,” adds $240’s to the $700’s, and lot sizes from 50 to 90 feet, your move-in Liebbe. Community events, such as concert series, farm-to-table ready home will allow you to be situated in time for the school year. gatherings, eld days and movie nights are planned on the central And speaking of schools…you’ll not only live in a beautiful home, lawn to achieve this goal. A Community Supported Agriculture but your child will get a great education at the new Light Farms (CSA) program features fresh organic produce shares (pre-pur- Elementary School. Part of the acclaimed Prosper Independent chased online) provided by local farm Johnson’s Backyard Garden. School District (ISD), the school will open for the fall term. is e CSA meets on Saturdays from 9-12 pm at the Farm Stand in highly acclaimed school district has a reputation for excellence and the central Barn Yard. Committed to oering locally sourced natu- is one of the fastest-growing school districts in the nation. Mindful ral foods and other products, the Farm Stand at Light Farms is also that a quality education plays a key role in a vibrant community, home to a natural food co-op program that oers items like grass- Dallas-based developer Republic Property Group (RPG) designed fed beef, organic cheese, coee, nuts and skin care products. e Light Farms so children can safely walk or bike to school. RPG do- programs are open to Light Farms’ residents and the surrounding nated 11 acres within community. Light Farms plus $2 Light Farms further reinforces its focus on healthy living for million to Prosper its residents with a tness center, four resort-style pools and four ISD to build the ele- tennis courts, as well as brand new amenities basketball and bocce mentary school, and ball, with pickleball and sand volleyball coming soon. there are plans for Scenic hiking and biking trails winding through Light Farms more on-site schools allow families to stay active, and a bike-sharing program makes it and daycares in fu- easy. In addition, there are 132 acres of manicured green space in- ture phases. Have a cluding a greenbelt, playgrounds, pocket parks and an extensive teen? Prosper ISD’s lake system.
Photo courtesy of Shana Anderson ANSWERS TO YOUR IMPORTANT LEGAL QUESTIONS FROM OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS AskedAsked && Your kid gets injured by another kid’s recklessness, but AnsweredAnswered Q:that family is your good friend. What do you do? is situation happens frequently and raises a number of questions, both legal and moral. Nobody wants to make claim against a friend andA: the process can be emotional when it occurs. But there may be times when a claim is in fact warranted. e starting point is to understand how and why an incident occurred. Was somebody negligent? If so, then legally there is a claim to be made, possibly against the other child or the parent. e next and probably most important consideration is the severity of the injuries involved and the potential long term ramications from a medical expense and suering standpoint. e good news is that depending on the circumstances, the other family and child are likely to be cov- ered by some form of insurance that would apply, such as homeowners or automobile. So while it may be uncomfortable to make a claim against “friends”, in a sense it would be that family’s insurance company that actually pays the damages, if there is liability. e decision to pursue a claim against a friend or neighbor is largely a personal decision and typically involves more than the just the legal analysis. But in the end as parents, we owe it to our children to make sure that they are adequately protected, and there are times when doing so may be uncomfort- able but necessary. - Robert L. Chaiken, Chaiken & Chaiken, P.C.
My daughter recently turned 18 and is preparing to leave for college. Her friends have been talking about needing to sign legal documents. What type of documents does my daughter Q:need and why?
Parents are surprised to nd out that they are no longer entitled to receive medical information or make business or medical decisions for their child who has turned eighteen. is is oen discovered when their child is away at col- lege,A: becomes ill or injured, and the parents are trying to talk to doctors in another city to nd out how their child is doing and obtain medical records to share with their own trusted physicians. Parents have also faced problems when trying to take care of business matters for their student. Examples include the inability to handle an issue with next semester’s apartment lease or obtain school records while the student is travelling on a semester abroad. Some simple documents can help avoid these and similar issues. In order to make medical decisions and speak to med- ical professionals for your child, a Medical Power of Attorney is needed. e Medical Power of Attorney becomes eective when someone is unable to make their own medical decisions. It is also advisable to execute a HIPAA Release to allow the parents to obtain their child’s medical records. Some attorneys, under certain circumstances, may even suggest that your child execute a Medical Directive (a “living will”) which allows the person to instruct physicians to withhold or withdraw life sustaining treatment in the event of a terminal or irreversible condition. A Statutory Durable Power of Attorney is needed to allow the parent to make business decisions and sign documents for their child. It names the parents as their child’s agent and grants broad powers to act on the child’s behalf. Some parents even ask if their child needs a will. at is a case by case basis determination but not always necessary. It is important to note that these documents have certain legal requirements. Most estate planning attorneys that I know will prepare the main documents for a very reasonable fee. If your child plans to go to an out-of-state university, it is advisable to talk to an attorney in that other state. e legal requirements of these forms can vary state to state, and it is important that the documents will be eective in both Texas and your child’s university location. - Corinne Frank, Law O ces of Mirliss and Frank, PLLC
12 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodADVICE
My 26-year-old daughter is engaged, and her ancé has asked her to sign a prenuptial agree- Q:ment. What does this entail and should we be concerned? Prenuptial agreements are more common now than ever. ey have the eect of changing the rules from what Texas law says will happen in a divorce to what the parties agree will happen. To understand the impact, it’s important to rstA: know the dierence between community property and separate property. If there is a divorce in your daughter’s future, community property (you can think of it as property that belongs to the marriage) will be divided. Separate property will go with the person it belongs to. ere are several forms of separate property, but the three most common are: • What was owned prior to marriage • What was acquired during marriage by gi (including a gi from the other spouse) • What was received by way of inheritance With some exceptions, income from separate property belongs to the community. Most of the time, the purpose of a premarital agreement is to change community property to separate property. So if your daughter’s ancé has a good job or owns a business, he will likely want the agreement to say that the money he earns from his job or brings in from his business remains his separate property. Otherwise, Texas law would make it subject to division upon divorce. e agreement might also say that no community estate will be created at all – that the only property owned will be either his or hers. She might also see some more complicated provisions, like contingencies for the marriage lasting longer than a certain pe- riod of time or having children. e more complicated and convoluted a pre-marital agreement is, the more dicult it may be to enforce later. To be enforceable at all, the agreement will need to be in writing and signed by your daughter and her ancé. ere is nothing wrong with these agreements, so long as everyone knows what they’re giving up and what they’re getting. It will be important for your daughter to know the extent of her ancé’s property and debts, just as it’s important for her to have her own attorney involved in the draing and review of the nal product. - Je rey Anderson, Orsinger, Nelson, Downing and Anderson, LLP
THE EXPERTS
PERSONAL INJURY/MEDICAL LIABILITY FAMILY LAW ESTATE PLANNING AND PROBATE Robert Chaiken Je rey Anderson Corinne Frank
Rob Chaiken is a member of the State Bar of Je rey Anderson joined Orsinger, Nelson, Corinne Gallant Frank is an attorney in pri- Texas and is a member of the United States Downing and Anderson, LLP in 2012, after 17 vate practice with Law O ces of Mirliss and District Courts for Northern, Southern, East- years of running his own rm, The Anderson Frank, PLLC. She joined Law O ces of Mirliss ern and Western Districts of Texas and the Law Group. He has devoted his legal career and Frank, PLLC in 2014 which o ers services United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth to Family Law litigation and the betterment to clients in Dallas, Collin, Denton, and sur- Circuit. He has been selected as Texas Monthly of the eld of Family Law as a whole. Je is rounding counties. She is a 1991 graduate Super Lawyer – a distinction that is awarded Board Certi ed in Family Law by the Texas of The University of Texas School of Law. She to less the 5% of lawyers throughout Texas. Board of Legal Specialization and is a Fellow lives in Plano with her husband and children, He is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell, which of the American Academy of Matrimonial and in her spare time, she enjoys volunteering is the highest ethical and professional rating. Lawyers. He has been named to the Texas with both a pro bono legal services organiza- He is a frequent lecturer and is also a partic- Super Lawyers list every year since that dis- tion and in the community with her children. ipating member and Texas representative of tinction has been granted and consistently the Child Injury Network, an association of named one of D Magazine’s Best Lawyers in Have a legal question? lawyers dedicated to child safety issues and Dallas. Email your questions to the protection of children through litigation [email protected] when necessary. goodADVICE A Plan You Can Live With Planning for long-term care can make a world of di erence
by Alicia Wanek | Sta Writer Steve says the life insurance industry “has been looking for ways to help while you’re still alive.” One of the newest concepts is a ou’ve probably heard people say recently that “50 is the new guaranteed universal life policy. Bobby believes this is a fantastic Y40.” We look younger, eat better, and live longer than our hybrid of a term-life policy and a long-term care policy. e rates parents’ generation. However, if we’re living longer but still want to are guaranteed for ten years or more and operate like any other term retire at age 65, our money may have to last a LONG time, and the policy with benets for loved ones if the policy holder dies. BUT it likelihood for the need for some type of long-term assisted living also oers a long-term care rider oering care benets if you need or nursing home care increases with life expectancy. What’s the them while the policy is in place. According to Bobby, traditional best way to plan for the nancial burden of those senior years? long-term care policy sales have decreased from 600,000 policies Consider this real-life scenario: An older couple raises ve sold in 2000 to about 150,000 last year. is new concept oers an boys who are now successfully raising families of their own. e alternative. couple lives in the same home they had been in for decades when It may be time to see if your parents have plans for coverage of the husband falls ill and passes away aer a short illness. e their long-term care needs, and it’s never too early to be planning sons begin to notice a decline in their mother’s mental state and for your own. If you are a sole proprietor, you can even write o make the decision to help her to move to an assisted living facility. a portion of your premium, and remember insurance is tax-free, anks to their father’s purchase of a long-term care policy many so it’s always a good investment. Bobby says, “Remember, the rst years before to cover the $7500/month for her care, the savings to priorities are to have a will and power of attorney.” Insurance is the those sons and their families was approximately $350,000 before next step. her death. According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, A recent conversation with Bobby Davidson, local independent about 60 percent of individuals over age 65 will require at least insurance agent, and Steve Davis of Insurance Designer, one of some type of long-term care services during their lifetime. With the largest insurance wholesalers, highlighted some of the new rates in DFW averaging $180/day and over $400/day in places like trends in long-term care options. In their combined 50+ years in Boston, it can add up quickly. Let an agent like Bobby help you the insurance business, they’ve seen the benets for families when to gure out how NOT to leave that cost to your children. Give good planning has eased the burdens to clients and their loved yourself that peace of mind so you can enjoy how good you look ones. and feel right now.
For more information, contact your insurance agent or contact Bobby Davidson at 972.980.4884 for a complimentary 360 Review Consultation.
According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, about 60 percent of individuals over age 65 will require at least some type of long-term care services during their lifetime.
14 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 Cool Updates, Hot Home Trends
WHETHER IT’S NEW HOME CONSTRUCTION, UPDATING YOUR CURRENT RESIDENCE OR BUILDING AN ADDITION, THESE FIVE DO ABLE DO OVERS CAN INCREASE YOUR PROPERTY’S VALUE WHILE MAKING IT THE HOME OF YOUR DREAMS.
by Julie Taylor | Contributor TREND 1: HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE When you decide to re-do the ooring in your home, you want a Since Star Floors operates nationwide, they can help on both ends of company you can trust to install quality material and do the job right. a move. ey service residential as well as commercial customers, such at’s where Star Floors comes in, a family-owned and operated 4th as senior living centers and country clubs. Star Floors works closely generation business. With headquarters in Dallas, Star Floors oper- with real estate agents, and you can shop at home with a trained pro- ates in 40 states on a daily basis. Hardwood is an excellent material fessional. e best testament to Star Floors’ quality products and ser- for ooring, and it’s even made its way into the kitchen. “Hardwood vices are happy customers like Doris Bonvino of Virginia Cook Realty. makes a great design statement. It is durable, easy to clean and oen “I have known Steven for 15 years, and I recommend Star Floors 100% increases the value of the home,” says Steven D. Pidgeon, Star Floors of the time.” Bonvino says she is always called aer job completion to Chief Executive Ocer. ensure she and her clients are satised, and Star Floors goes above and According to Pidgeon, hardwood, as well as other hard surface beyond in their service, from the initial consultation to installation to ooring like luxury vinyl plank and tile, is gaining on carpet for a va- clean-up. “It’s not oen you nd a company that will call to check to riety of reasons, including a signicant reduction in prices. Pidgeon make sure everything went well,” she says. says Star Floors oerings include carpet, natural stone, ceramic and Visit Star Floors at www.star oors.com for more information. porcelain tile, hardwood (pre-nished and/or n- ished on-site), luxury vinyl plank and tile, and ar- “Star Floors goes above and beyond in their service, ticial turf. from the initial consultation to installation to clean-up.” - Doris Bonvino, Realtor GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 15 goodLIVING TREND 2: HOME GYMS PROMOTE HEALTHY LIVING e home-improvement industry recognizes that its scal tness unit multi-functional training system that doesn’t take up much space. may be based on its clients’ physical tness, and a workout room could It can help with all levels of strengthening muscles, such as chest press- also mean the dierence in the value of your home. According to the es, working on the back/biceps/triceps, pull-ups, squats and more. “It’s National Association of Home Builders, one-third of new and potential great, because you can even put it in a 10-by-10 room,” says Lewin. home buyers list a home gym as essential or desirable. With that trend, Lewin is a huge fan of the Power Plate, a 3-by-3 foot vibration trainer. more and more people are adding tness equipment or dedicating e vibration trainer works on the lymphatic system including muscle rooms for tness in their homes. strengthening, pulse, and blood circulation. Don’t know where to start? Look no further than Craig Lewin, vice For cardio, Lewin recommends an elliptical trainer. He says the ellip- president of Fitcorp USA, which owns 12 Busy Body and Fitness HQ tical trainer provides the benets of running or walking on a treadmill stores throughout the DFW Metroplex. Lewin says customers are turn- without the impact. For those hoping to streamline their costs, Lewin ing to home gyms so they can work out as a family and for the conve- points to a bench or stability ball with PowerBlocks, which are adjust- nience of not having to leave home to get in a workout. able dumbbells. “ese take up no space at all,” he says. “ey’re literally The experts at Busy Body and Fitness HQ will work with you to 1.5-by-1.5 feet and replace 16 pairs of dumbbells or 825 pounds of your custom tailor a home gym to t your tness goals and budget and old free weights. that will t within the space available in your home. Lewin says one To nd a Busy Body or Fitness HQ store near you, go to www. of his most popular pieces of equipment is e Hoist MI7, a corner busybodytx.com or www. tnessheadquarters.com.
“One-third of new and potential home buyers list a home gym as essential or desirable.” - National Association of Home Builders
16 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodLIVING TREND 3: MULTI GENERATIONAL LIVING ARRANGEMENTS OFFER PEACE OF MIND
Do you have an aging parent who may need to move into your wasn’t ready to move in yet, so we used it as a game room,” she home in the near future? If so, you may want to add on to your says. “It worked great for that. It also functions well as a room home or remodel your home to meet ADA standards. Scott and for my mother now.” Ann O’Blenes recently added onto their home to accommodate The addition at the O’Blenes’ home includes a spacious room, Ann’s mother. Even if you have a big enough lot, Ann strong- a bathroom and a closet. It has space for a bed, as well as an ly discourages adding a separate guest house to a property. area for relaxing in front of the television. They purposely did “Typically, the price per square foot of a separate free-standing not include a kitchenette as part of the design to encourage her structure will be less than the price per square foot of the main mother to join them at meals. To meet ADA standards, Ann says home,” she says. “It can really be an asset to your home if you the addition includes widened doorways and a larger bathroom do it right.” with extra grab bars. The bathroom also has accommodations If you are ready to take that next step in designing an ad- to turn on the faucet from a seated or standing position, and dition, Ann suggests making the space a multi-purpose room the floors are flush throughout. The addition also includes an instead of solely a guest room. “When we added on, my mother exterior door in case of a fire emergency.
“Adding on to your home can be an asset if you do it right.” - Ann O’Blenes, Realtor, Performance Partners at RE/MAX Dallas Suburbs
Ann O’Blenes, with children, Chris and Katie and her mom Joan Scowcroft in the room addition she and husband Scott built for her. goodLIVING TREND 4: UPSCALE OUTDOOR ENVIRONMENTS
Just like the Texas weather, outdoor living is hotter than ever. ten to music on a sound system as they swim while adults can catch Homeowners look for ways to increase their exterior ambiance, the game on an outdoor television while cooking on a grill or pizza and Dallas-based Starpower, a leader in high-end, custom instal- oven. “e possibilities are endless,” he says. lations of home theater, audio, video, security, custom leather and Starpower’s systems include weather-resistant at screen TVs automation, makes it easy. “It looks like the formal living room for outdoor mounting on patio walls or above outdoor brick is out and the outdoor living is in”, says Starpower CEO David replace mantles and complete audio systems, including custom Pidgeon. outdoor speakers. Starpower also oers lawn-side theater screens “Outdoor living is synonymous with the healthy and relaxed life- and projectors for memorable movie nights with the kids. In ad- style we are all seeking, and the backyard has become an extension dition to media solutions, Starpower’s sister company, Ed Kellum of the home.” Appliances, has all your outdoor kitchen needs covered. Choose Many of these spaces are not only beautifully designed, they are from customized appliances including refrigerators, pizza ovens, functional as well. Most have at least a built-in grill if not a built-in wine cellars, kegorators and more. refrigerator, wine cooler and other amenities. Video and sound are Visit www.star-power.com or www.edkellum.com to turn your also making their way to the backyard, Pidgeon says. Kids can lis- backyard into the outdoor living area of your dreams.
Starpower also o ers lawn-side theater screens and projectors for memorable movie nights with the kids. TREND 5: MEDIA ROOMS BRING ENTERTAINMENT TO THE HOME
Why go to the theater when you can watch a movie in the com- fort of your own home, without the sticky oors! Commonplace in new construction, the dedicated media room is the latest choice in lieu of an extra bedroom, says David Pidgeon, CEO of Starpower. “Families are spending more time at home and the media room is a great gathering place whether for family movie night or a big sports game,” he explains. Whether transforming an old game room, under-utilized bed- room, garage or den, Starpower can create the perfect media room according to your specications. “We have the home theater ex- perts that can take any small or large project and personally guide you through each and every choice.” Pidgeon takes pride in Star- power’s commitment to excellent customer service, which “includes a fully integrated consultation from conception, drawing, design and completion, to follow-up and maintenance care.” A Starpower ex- pert will demonstrate and explain every small detail and how ev- ery tiny button works. “e on-sta team of skilled crasmen will personally and professionally transform your vision into a multi-me- dia work of art, helping you to select the precise equipment for your space and your budget.” In addition to electronic components and furniture, Starpower can help decorate the room, from a bar area to movie posters on the walls. “We can take the room from bare wall to the nished product.” e Starpower website (www.star-power.com) even has a room planner feature to help you get started.
A Commitment to Exemplary Service
rom starter home to empty nest and everything in between, you can count on the Per ormance Partners Ann Blenes and li abeth Ritch to unlock your dream home Performance Partners Passion...Pursuit...Performance. Ann Elizabeth O’Blenes Re/Max dallas suburbs Ritch 972.898.6600 facebook.com/RealtyPerformancePartners 972.977.4678 goodADVICE Creating the Home of Your Dreams When is the perfect time to wake up and make your dream home a reality? The answer may surprise you.
by Charles Satter eld | Sta Writer
e caught up with Chuck WCowell, Dallas Market Chairman for Guaranty Bank & Trust, to ask about the economy and trends in lending.
GLF: When we last spoke, you were upbeat and optimistic on the local economy. Do you still have the same level of optimism?
Chuck: When people feel se- cure about their personal nanc- es and the future, they feel more comfortable about making major purchases such as new cars or ma- jor remodeling projects. We are seeing a number of inquiries into home improvement loans and home construction loans.
GLF: “Home construction loans” sounds like people are building dream homes “We all have ideas of how we would like to remodel, add an extra room, update or vacation homes. the kitchen or even start seriously planning to nally live in the house we have al- ways wanted. The calls we are elding are people taking the rst steps in making Chuck: We all have ideas of their dreams a reality.” how we would like to remodel, -Chuck Cowell, Dallas Market Chairman, Guaranty Bank & Trust add an extra room, update the kitchen or even start seriously planning to nally live in the house we have always wanted. e GLFM: It sounds so simple when you explain it like that. calls we are elding are people taking the rst steps in making their dreams a reality. Chuck: Well, yes and no. e process itself is simple. Once the builder, nancing and budget have been established, it comes GLF: What advice are you o ering them? down to how the project ts into your long term goals. I had one client who went through the process every year for over a Chuck: A good banker knows the builders in the area and decade before nally deciding it was the right time. Today they will be able to help collect information on previous projects the are thrilled with their home and thankful they had someone to builder has done. A banker knows if a builder has a history of help them make the right decision. It all comes down to having a nishing on schedule, staying on budget and whether the work- relationship banker you can work with. Individual needs require manship was sound. When you feel you have the right builder, it individual attention. Anyone having any questions can feel free then becomes a matter of tailoring the nancing program to your to call us and talk about their situation, even if they are not clients particular nancial situation. By the time you have picked your of our bank. Relationship bankers don’t make money by selling builder and met with your banker to select a nancing program, loans. ey make money by helping families, business and com- you will have the budget for the project. munities grow. If we can help, we would be glad to be of service.
For more information, contact Chuck Cowell at [email protected] or call (972) 447-0800.
20 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 ALL ELLIPTICALS, TREADMILLS, HOME GYMS & EXERCISE BIKES ON SALE NOW!
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HUGE SAVINGS HOT SUMMER DEALS WITH THIS AD up to TAX Zero % FREE PERSONAL 20% OFF FREE Financing TRAINER MSRP with any ask manager up to one session with purchase of any piece of equipment for details 12 MONTHS piece of equipment goodOLE DAYS The Resilient Sandwich Generation by Jeanne Glick | Sta Writer Strategies for building inner strength and bolstering emo- hey’ve been dubbed the “sandwich generation”: middle-age tional reserves include changing your attitude, modifying your people caring for aging parents while still taking care of expectations and empowering yourself. Don’t forget to set lim- Ttheir own children – hence, sandwiched between two genera- its on yourself and others, employ all family members to par- tions. According to the Pew Research Center, one out of every ticipate as best they can, keep all plans and expectations realis- eight Americans age 40 to 60 is raising a child and caring for a tic, and above all, keep a sense of humor. e cathartic eect parent at home. And those numbers are only expected to rise of humor has been as our population well noted. In fact, ages. Interestingly, Dr. William Fry, the increased pres- emeritus associate sure is coming pri- “A day without clinical professor of marily from grown psychiatry at Stan- children rather ford University has than aging parents, laughter is a stated that “laugh- according to Pew ter is similar to a Research. Young day wasted”-Charlie Chaplin mild workout.” adults have suered Dr. Cynthia aik most from the coun- of the University try’s recession and of California, Los slow recovery. ese Angeles School grown children are of Medicine sug- staying longer in col- gests many ways lege, marrying at a lat- to incorporate er age and continuing more laughter to live at home while and joy in your they are unemployed life: laugh at or semi-employed. your own foi- Given continued high bles; a smile and unemployment rates a chuckle go a for younger workers lot further than criti- and longer life expectancy of the aging population, these g- “Happiness is an attitude. cism; nd the humor ures can be expected to rise. Despite this, the survey suggests We can either make our- in a bad situation; that adults in the sandwich generation, although feeling more laugh over things rushed, are just as happy with their lives as are other adults. selves miserable or happy you cannot control; Multi-generation living is still a viable option for some of the and strong. The amount recall funny mo- current sandwich generation who are supporting dependent ments from the past; teens and tweens as well as their own parents. Developing skills of work is the same.” and, since mirth- and maneuvers to min- - American Artist, Francesca Reigler ful laughter is con- “All you can change is imize stress and maxi- tagious, surround mize good feelings is a yourself with fun, positive people. All of these lower blood yourself, but sometimes that must for these people. pressure, blood sugar levels and heart rate. Further, endor- can change everything.” e usual common phins kick in and act as natural painkillers and mood boosters. - Hollywood producer (Pretty Woman), sense rules like be kind She adds, “nd a reason to laugh everyday.” As Charlie Chaplin Gary W. Goldstein to yourself, accept help, once said, “a day without laughter is a day wasted”. eat well, sleep enough, take breaks, exercise, etc. are well documented. Less obvious but perhaps the most important skill to carry the sandwich “Expectations were like ne pottery. generation through tough times is resilience. e University of The harder you held them, the more Michigan Depression Center comprehensively states that resil- likely they were to crack.” ience is “how we cope with and adjust to the stresses, frustra- - Author, Brandon Sanderson tion and setbacks of everyday life.”
22 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodADVICE Feeling the Squeeze Between Kids & Aging Parents? DAVID STANLEY HAS BUILT A BUSINESS HELPING THE SANDWICH GENERATION
by Tricia White | Managing Editor GLF: Tell us about the people who work for you…their training…their compassion, etc. e following is an interview with David Stanley, Founder of Custom Caregivers. David: Caregiving is for people that have the passion for put- ting the needs of the elderly above anything else. e number one GLF: Tell us why you started Custom Caregivers. job requirement is to have a caring and loving heart. ey also need to have the skills, training and experience to care for the David: My father died in 1989. He was only 65 years old. He clients. had severe heart disease and feared being dependent on others for his care. He had all of his advanced directives in place. When GLF: Tell us an example of how you help families who are he went into cardiac arrest one night, lack of oxygen to his brain coping with aging parents - those of us in the sandwich caused him to stroke. His worst nightmare was coming true. We, generation who are trying to raise our kids/work/have a as a family, were faced with holding on to our dear father or hon- ‘life’ and still care for our own aging parents. oring his unwavering wishes. e decision to cease all life sus- taining measures was heart wrenching but not dicult. We were David: Although each situation is dierent, our job is to con- carrying out the wishes of a proud and decisive man. vince those aging parents to accept care, to continually reassess In 2011, I had the opportunity to provide service to elders and the situation and to move more of the care from the primary care- their families who were at their own stage of a very similar pro- givers (family members) to professional caregivers (us). cess. Caring for the people that we love is about listening to what they want and trying to honor their wishes the best that we can. GLF: What is your advice for a sandwich generation parent Although I have run several businesses, this is the most gratifying who is stressed and burdened with guilt and angst when work that I have ever done. coping with an aging parent who is often cranky and an- gry? GLF: What makes your service unique? David: It is hard to not take criticism personally when it comes David: At Custom Caregivers, we realize that people rarely from parents who have raised us and given so much. e truth is make plans for care before a disaster or signicant event has hap- that we can only do what we can do. We are not super heroes. We pened. When people need care, they need it now, not tomorrow have limited resources and time but boundless love. or next week. We are the most responsive to the immediate and ongoing needs of the clients we serve. We also never miss an as- If you have any questions or thoughts about navigating the signment. If our client needs us, we are there. challenges of aging parents or being part of the Sandwich Generation, we want to hear from you. Email [email protected].
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 23 goodEATS
DELINew NEWS IS THEYork AUTHENTIC DELIcious NY STYLE DELI THAT REMINDS ME OF HOME
by Bobbie Ames | Food & Entertainment Editor
o be truthful, I wasn’t expecting to love a self proclaimed New York deli situated in North Dallas. I spent a lot of my forma- Ttive food years in Philadelphia and NYC and learned soon aer moving to Dallas that I’d rather bypass eating some of my favorite deli foods than eat disappointing imitations. But I am happy to report that I was wrong. Deli News is the real deal, and I do not say that lightly. e moment I entered Deli News, I felt at home. e interior is exactly what a deli should be –bustling and bursting with energy. e place was lled with families and couples, both young and old, and you get the sense that these are regulars that are well known to the sta. e authenticity of Deli News is earned. As soon as you are seated, a house made plate of pickles is placed in front of you. ey have their own bakery and produce their New York style breads and bagels daily. e smoked sh is own in from New e broth in the chicken soup was so good, I am 100% positive York and sliced in their kitchen. that it’s truly “Jewish penicillin”. e Hodgepodge allows you to I visited Deli News with my 17-year-old son and 14-year-old try the noodles, matzo ball and kreplach all in one bowl. I loved daughter. ey, aer all, t into the Good Life Family age group them all, but the matzo ball was outstanding: light and uy but and have also inherited my general love of all good food. We took dense enough to stay together and absorb some of the delicious a look at the extensive menu, and with the broth. Potato pancakes have always help of Zoric Adamovsky, the big burly man been a favorite of mine, and these lived that runs the show, we ordered up some up to my expectations. I had forgot- classics. ten all about the potato knish until I My son got the classic Reuben sandwich saw it on the menu. It was delicious with Swiss cheese, sauerkraut and onion and brought back good memories of rings on the side. It was a huge hit in many my years in the northeast. As for “e ways. e portion size is unbelievable; yet Bob”, the house made bagel was deli- not too large for a growing teenage boy. e cious, the salmon was buttery perfec- meat on this sandwich was so tender and tion and the combination of all of the avorful that I am not really sure I can do it sides made me completely happy. justice. My son, a young man of few words, If you have never tried Deli News, said, “that deli was really good.” then put it on your list! It’s a great place My daughter ordered the 1/2 pound av- to go with your older children; the ocado cheeseburger. e meat is Angus kind of place you can enjoy with them beef and is never frozen, the avocado was and make into a family tradition. If you
fresh and perfectly ripe, and the burger was ever want to nd me on a Sunday, I will cooked to juicy perfection. be at the table by the window…that is,
And I ordered all of the following: if the regulars will share. • Chicken Hodgepodge - chicken broth with golden noodles, matzo ball and kreplach { • Potato Knish - pastry wrapped around po- tato and spice • Potato Pancakes - shredded potatoes with “Deli News is a great spot for families and friends. sides of sour cream and applesauce The ambiance is great and the food is delicious.” • “The Bob” - sliced Nova Scotia Salmon on a toasted bagel with cream cheese, onions, ca- - Olivia Kahny, 14-year-old daughter of Food & Entertainment Editor, Bobbie Ames. pers, lettuce and tomato slices {
24 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodLIVING
WATTER’S CREEK SETSSustainable THE STANDARD FOR ALL INCLUSIVE Beauty RESORT STYLE LIVING, SHOPPING AND DINING by Karyn Brodsky | Sta Writer and Environmental Design) certied by the U.S. Green Building Council. scape to a luxurious serene setting In addition to on-site recycling pro- with open spaces where you can grams and recycled materials used for shop,E dine al fresco, enjoy beautiful construction, Watters Creek has imple- works of art and attend exciting special mented other sustainability programs. events. Exotic vacation to a faraway For instance, erecting buildings and park- destination? Nope. is fun and fes- ing garages upward versus building out- tive venue is only about 15 minutes ward makes optimal use of land resourc- away in Allen, TX. es and saves space. Well water is used in Welcome to Watters Creek at Watters Creek’s pond, creek and irrigation,
Montgomery Farm, a resort-style and ecient plumbing xtures save an lifestyle shopping center situated in a estimated 1,000 gallons of water per day. soothing natural environment. { Ozone-friendly air conditioners are Located on 52 acres accessi- in use, and rellable water bottles ble from U.S. 75 and Bethany “Watters Creek was designed to inspire are available at the shopping cen- Road, Watters Creek is home your imagination and make every excursion ter’s vending machine which can to a variety of retail shops, from be lled with natural spring water nationally branded stores to lo- a celebration of food, fashion and friends.” at the Reuse-Rell-Refresh Station. cally owned boutiques. Restau- { - Debra Martinez, Marketing Director Using increased wall and ceiling in- rants run the gamut from light sulation and reective rooop ma- casual to ne dining with water views, and shoppers and diners can terial conserves energy, and management estimates that in one year’s enjoy a large creek side village, green, lush landscapes, a children’s time, enough energy will be saved to power 30 homes for the same play area and interactive public art. Plus, luxury residential los and time frame. over 97,000 square feet of Class AA unparalleled oce space let you Tree preservation is also quite evident. Of the 500 trees planted at live and work where you shop. Watters Creek, more than two dozen mature trees were saved from Watters Creek was developed with a “green technique” that takes other local projects. In addition, the 150-year-old pecan tree near the advantage of the area’s natural beauty, and while the trees and grass pond is certied as a historical tree by the City of Allen. at Watters Creek are decidedly green in color, the rest of the sur- Watters Creek not only supports environmental sustainability, it roundings, shops and restaurants have also “gone green”. Conser- is also socially responsible. While parking is free in the retail center’s vation-focused designs and wide-open spaces make Watters Creek three garages, all net proceeds collected at metered street parking eco-friendly and earned it the distinction of being the rst retail de- spots are donated to local charities through the Change for Charity velopment in the State of Texas to be LEED (Leadership in Energy program and used to host community events at Watters Creek.
With natural surroundings, a beautiful backdrop, a shopping and dining mecca, and magni cent o ce and living spaces, Watters Creek at Montgomery Farm o ers something for everyone. goodTO GO Getting the Kids to College SURE, YOUR CHILD COULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE IN STATE, BUT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO EASY! WITH THE START OF THE SCHOOL YEAR APPROACHING, IT’S TIME TO MAKE PLANS. THE GLF COMPREHENSIVE PRE COLLEGE PACKING CHECK LIST
by Rick Seaney | Contributor
Driving vs. Flying Try to Fly an Airline with a Many parents drive their kids because Free Bag Allowance you can stu a lot in the old minivan, Airlines can and do change fees at any time but if your child’s university is across without notice; so always conrm before the country, that may not be realistic; you y. For the moment, Southwest Air- add up the cost of your time plus gas lines still allows two checked bags for free. and hotel bills, and decide for yourself.
How to Get Belongings from Point A to Point B A couple of years ago, my advice was sim- ple: one parent ies with the kid, and each person brings two fully loaded suitcases (with the parent allowed a thimbleful of space). But that was back when all airlines allowed two checked bags for free. e landscape has changed - and so has my advice.
School Yourself on What NOT to Bring to College Avoid Overweight Fees If you y, don’t bring items that take up a Most airlines charge an additional fee lot of space or weight. Weight equals mon- for bags weighing over 50 pounds, a fee ey, and with out-of-state tuition, that’s the that oen jumps again for bags over 70 last thing you want to waste. Carry the lap- pounds. e overweight fee is usually top onboard, and shop for supplies at your much more expensive than the checked destination. bag fee, and if the bag is too heavy, you pay both. Don’t forget to pack common What to Buy on Arrival sense too. If a ight with free bags costs in Your School’s City $600 and the ight that charges bag fees is $200 - do the math. Arrive at school in time for a shopping trip to a local store to stock up on necessities. Some suggestions for the dorm or apart- Shipping vs. Ground Transportation ment dweller: Contact your favorite shipper for the •Bed linens/Pillow/Towels cheapest way to send boxes. e UPS web- •Toiletries site has a handy time & cost calculator on •Computer/Copier supplies its homepage; plus they have luggage box- •Pens/Notebooks (wait - do kids still es you might want to try. Compare with use that stu?) other shippers too. •Water bottles/Snacks •Microwave and/or Dorm fridge •Desk lamp •Fan
Rick Seaney is co-founder of FareCompare, an airfare search site devoted to helping shoppers nd the cheapest ights possible. FareCompare also o ers easy-to-use, practical information to help travelers save on every step of their journey.
26 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodTO GO Pack it Up! THE GLF COMPREHENSIVE PRE COLLEGE PACKING CHECK LIST
by Tricia White | Managing Editor
WHAT TO FLY WITH: • Sneakers/Boots Carry On (use the same backpack as will be used • Shower shoes (A MUST) for books at school): Documents ITEMS THAT CAN BE SHIPPED IN ADVANCE OR • Driver’s license/Photo ID PURCHASED AT COLLEGE: • Passport • Stacking drawers/Bins/Drawer organizers • Medical insurance cards (plan ahead and order an • Bulletin boards/Message boards extra copy) • Extension cords/Power strips (check dorm rules • Social Security Card (needed for employment on and guidelines) or o campus) • Iron or steamer (check dorm rules and guidelines) • Laundry detergent • Money/Credit card(s) • Desk lamp (check the bulb and wattage guidelines) • Dryer sheets • Emergency numbers for family and friends • Speakers • Snacks Gadgets • Electric kettle or co ee pot • Drinks • Phone • Printer and cable (extra ink and paper) • Thermos • Laptop • Flash drive • Reusable water bottle • Cords, cables and battery chargers • School supplies – stapler, staples, hole punch, pens, • Co ee mugs • Headphones pencils, markers, highlighters, paper, notebooks, note • Can opener Personal Items cards, post-it notes, glue, scissors, paper clips, binder clips, • Plastic utensils • Glasses/Contacts rubber bands, tape, pushpins, blank CDs • Paper plates • Watch/Jewelry • Medicine kit – thermometer, vitamins, cough drops, • Storage containers • Wallet/Purse headache relief, cold relief, stomach , medication, antacids, • Umbrella allergy medications, bandages, antibiotic ointment, eye THINGS TO RESEARCH: drops, ice pack, hot packs • Dorm rules regarding dorm refrigerators and micro- IN CHECKED LUGGAGE: • Sewing kit with safety pins waves. Some colleges have a list of rental companies Personal Care Items • Duct tape that drop o and pick up. • Skin care and make up • Super glue • Dorms have a variety of safety restrictions. For exam- • Toothbrush, toothpaste, oss, mouthwash • Flashlight (extra batteries) ple, some allow twinkle lights and others do not. • Hair care items • Tool kit (multi-tool, glasses repair kit, etc.) • Some colleges have policies on the types and number • Medications • Bedding of extension cords, power strips, desk lamps and other • Sunscreen • Hangers (space saving closet hangers/closet organizers) things that can be a re hazard. • Razors and shaving supplies • Drying rack • Nail care • Towels and washcloths TIPS: • Perfume/Cologne • Shower caddy • Since I knew I would be spending three nights at a Clothing – Focus on what is needed right away — or • Laundry hamper hotel near my child’s college, I called to ask if I could until the rst break. Depending where the college is • Alarm clock ship boxes to myself care of the hotel. I planned my located, some savvy packers switch wardrobes at fall • Fan shipment with UPS so the boxes were waiting when we break, Thanksgiving break or winter break. • Posters and wall décor arrived. • Underwear/Bras/Socks • Utility hooks (you need more than you think!) • Shop online and schedule delivery to the nal desti- • Bathrobe/ PJs/Slippers • Trash can nation. Some stores, like Bed, Bath and Beyond, have a • Loungewear • Cotton swabs/Cotton balls “Pick Up There” option which allows you to shop and pay • Activewear • Tissues/Toilet paper at your home store and then pick up your boxes at the • Clothing needed for classes (gym class, athletics, dance • Nail polish remover store nearest your child’s school. class) • Hand sanitizer • Some schools will allow you to ship to the dorm • Gym bag/Daypack • Antibacterial wipes address in advance. • Seasonal clothing • Feminine hygiene products • Coordinate with your roommate if possible. For • Swimsuit • Ziplock bags example, one can bring the printer and one might bring • Jacket/Coat/Rain gear • Trash bags the TV. • Caps/ Hats/Bandanas • Cleaning supplies (paper towels, all purpose cleaner, • Accessories/Costume jewelry wipes, duster)
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 27 goodIDEAS DORM DÉCOR AND ORGANIZATION Adventures of a First-Time Dorm Mother After having three children move into college dorms, I have learned a few tips of the trade that may make life a little bit less stressful for all you fretting mamas and easier for those college freshman moving away from home for the rst time.
by Cala Pence | Contributor leave home because you’re not the only one who will be shopping for these necessities once you hit the college town. irst and foremost – LESS IS MORE! My daughter moved her Dorm beds are usually twin extra-long. Since most kids move clothes home aer her rst year at college and 40% of them were o campus aer a year or so and will move to a bigger bed, I would Fstill bundled together from moving in 9 months earlier. at being suggest purchasing a queen sized comforter and blanket. said, if you will be driving your child to college, purchase the “car Lighting is notoriously bad in dorm rooms. Clip-on lamps, desk clothes bar” (containerstore.com $19.99). Bundle clothes on hangers lamps, bedside lamps, etc. are very useful. in groups of 5-7 items, and rubber band the top of the hangers to- A standing coat rack takes up very little oor space and is very gether. Put a trash bag around each bundle, and hang them on your handy for hanging purses, backpacks, coats, scarves, umbrellas, etc. new car clothes bar. You’ll thank yourself a million times over! PS: Remember to think vertically. Dorm rooms are tight and oor in prole, non-slip, ocked-nish hangers are widely available space is at a premium. If the dorm room desk doesn’t have shelving, and allow many more hangers to t in a closet. consider some table-top shelving for books, printers, photos, etc. Most dorms do not allow you to put ANY holes in the walls. So Space bags t neatly under the bed and take up minimal space. Command Strips, poster putty, and double-stick foam tape are your Kids have friends come visit from other campuses, other dorms or friends. You might consider purchasing these supplies BEFORE you from just down the hall to spend the night so be sure your student has a sleeping bag. Living on a college campus means lots of walking, many times in the rain. Be sure to send an umbrella and rain boots. Want to reach parents with kids tweens to twenties? Girls like this idea: purchase an INEXPENSIVE full-length mir- ror (they are very light weight), and foam-tape it to the wall horizon- JOIN OUR FAMILY! tally alongside the bed. ey can sit on the bed and put on make-up, do hair, etc. Some schools allow students to move in a day early for a nominal fee – worth every penny. Also, don’t forget that college town hotels book up really quickly, so make your reservation NOW!
“Most dorms do not allow you to put ANY holes in the walls. So Command ADVERTISE. REACH. EXPAND. REPEAT. Strips, poster putty, and double-stick CONTACT KIMBERLY BROWN, ADVERTISING MANAGER: KIM GOODLIFEFAMILYMAG.COM foam tape are your friends.”
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Mallory Pence, from McKinney, in her swanky dorm at Texas A & M. SMALL SPACES, BIG IDEAS How to make an ordinary dorm room Place-Making super functional Transforming Your Dorm Room into Your Home Away From Home By Tricia White | Managing Editor At a time when you really need a welcoming environment that feeds your creativity Living comfortably in a small space can be chal- and o ers a sanctuary from the stresses of big life changes, the typical dorm room is a lenging, but it’s not completely hopeless. Creating notoriously small, drab utilitarian space that leaves little room for personal expression. Until now, that is. Here are some organizational and design tips for transforming your a functional dorm room for your teen can be an es- space into a workable place. sential part of their productivity at college. Between classes, studying, and socializing, the last thing we want our scholars concerned about is which pile of laundry their missing shoe is hiding under or where that mysterious smell is coming from.
Here are a few tips and tools from organizing expert, Rebecca Saumell, to get your college bound student organized and equipped to stay focused on what’s important.
1. Create more space in a dorm room by setting up bunk beds or using bed risers. Raising the bed will allow more storage underneath for clothes or linens.
2. Keep papers, pens, and books o of the oor and in an Aussie Pouch. This nifty organizing tool ts conveniently over the back of a desk chair. Paige and her roommate took advantage of a cork wall to create an inexpensive colorful backdrop using 12” X 12” sheets of scrapbook paper. Their room was voted “Best Decorated”. 3. It’s always best to organize vertically; how- ever that can be tricky in a dorm where you can’t put TIPS FROM PAIGE’S MOM, RENA DAVIS holes in walls. Some great solutions that won’t ruin walls are an over-the-door pocket shoe organizer • If the college allows, consider lofting the beds off the ground to create (for more than just shoes) and Command Hooks for livable space underneath. bathrobes or jackets. “Since she had more oor space, we brought a small side table with drawers and a slim chest of drawers (4’ tall). She also brought a butter y chair she could 4. Closet space can be limited in a dorm, espe- relax in more than just the desk chair supplied.” cially if you’re sharing it with your roommate. • Use shelf paper in all the drawers to create a clean surface for their belong- Maximize your space with slim line hangers and a ings and an easy clean up when you move out. double hang closet rod. “Paige thought we were crazy sending her with a wireless internet router and printer; it was a big hit. She was the last stop most of her friends made on the way to class so they “Having an organized space will didn’t have to go out of the dorm to print as- not only give your teen an e cient signments!” living and working environment but will bene t their roommate too! Help your students sharpen their Paige Davis, Plano, attending organizational skills now, and the University of Wyoming. bene ts will last a lifetime.” - Rebecca Saumell www.simplifyyournest.com GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 29 goodIDEAS Turn Your Space Into Your Place How to make your dorm room reflect your personal style on any budget Here are some easy-to-manage tips from moms and students for transforming your space into a place that you can really settle in to.
Katherine’s Tips “To make my 84 square foot dorm room a home, I used photos of family and friends and accent- ed with my favorite color: sunshine yellow. There’s something about literally being surrounded by the people you love (at least in photos) and by great memories that makes the di cult moments in col- lege a lot more bearable. It’s like being able to see your support group every day; it’s a reminder that there are people out there that believe in you and that you should [believe in yourself] too.” MOVE-IN TIPS FROM KATHERINE’S MOM, KAREN
• Buy Command Hooks and more Command Hooks Katherine Ingram, Richardson, attending AMDA, New York (you can never have too many). • Invest in a sturdy over the door coat rack (quali- THINGS I COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT! THINGS I WISH I HAD ty matters!) • Laptop • Meal plan • Pack rain gear for the • Shower caddy • Comfy mattress long trek to classes. • Headphones • Noise canceling headphones • My personal bright yellow Keurig • Bigger desk • My memory quilt from my mama • My mug collection
THINGS I COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT! Madison’s Tips • Area rug to make the tiny room more cozy “Communicate with your room- • Desk mirror/Makeup mirror mate in advance to decide your • Air freshener, plug-in or wax-melt warmer color scheme and style. We • Door stop (especially during the first weeks of school picked out our bedding togeth- when the best way to get to know people is to have an er and then shopped separately “open door policy”) for our accessories.” THINGS I WISH I HAD Madison, on left, with roommate Reilly • Ear plugs: Dorm walls are pretty thin! Masterson, in their TCU dorm • Wall calendar to put on the inside of the door and write down upcoming tests, quizzes, and assignments as well as fun. • More storage drawers: “I had MOVE-IN TIPS FROM MADISON’S MOM, MELISSA tubs to store items but when I needed to find a particular item, • Try to coordinate the timing of your move in with I’d end up having to empty the the roommate so you are not moving at the same whole tub to find it. Baskets were time - there were a lot of us in a small space! the same way. I had cute baskets • Take a rubber mallet to raise the bed and a tool kit to hold things in, but when it to put together book shelves, etc. came down to it, I think I would • Stop for a lunch break. have much more preferred func- • We used several clear totes to move her, and she tionality over cuteness.” kept them at school under her bed for extra storage.
30 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 Colin’s Tips “It’s essential to put yourself into your dorm. You will not feel comfortable in a blank room with bare walls and dull furniture. You have the chance to let your personality shine in your room. And don’t let your parent organize with- out you knowing where your stu winds up!”
THINGS I COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT! • Amazon Prime (It’s free to college kids, and you can get anything you need in two days time – Colin White, Frisco, even in Ithaca) attending Ithaca College, • Noise canceling headphones New York • Reading lamp • Mini-fridge • Microwave • Netflix or comparable service • Mattress pad
THINGS I WISH I HAD • Bike • Beach blanket/Large towel for quad lounging • Portable speakers MOVE-IN TIPS FROM COLIN’S MOM, TRICIA • Avoid the temptation to unpack for your kid. After we unloaded and got everything into the room, I sent Colin out to have fun and meet new people. I was the super cool mom then, but later he confessed he couldn’t find a thing! • Bring drawer organizers to make the best use of the limited drawer space. • Use closet space-saving huggable hangers and Wonder Magic clothes hangers (Ipow.com). • Create your own medicine cabinet and school supplies survival kit using a small, desk-top stackable storage piece.
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o y a i son o y a i soninsser ices.com 72. 80.4884 goodTHE KID AWARD Best Buddies for Life 17 YEAR OLD LINDSAY STEUDTNER CAN TEACH US ALL A THING OR TWO ABOUT LOYALTY AND FRIENDSHIP
by Karyn Brodsky | Sta Writer passed the two got closer, and at hen people think of individuals with disabilities they some- the end-of-the- times focus on what they can’t do. A college-bound student year party in h Wfrom Plano recognizes what her “dierently-abled” friend can do grade, their moth- and has remained a true friend for the past ten years. ers met. Soon, Lindsay Steudtner, Plano West High School graduate and rising the two students freshman at the University of Arkansas, met Sydney Pizette in third had aer-school grade. In fourth grade they had dierent teachers, but that didn’t plans. “At that interfere with their friendship. “Every morning, Sydney would age, I didn’t un- wave and say hi to me before class,” says Steudtner. As the months derstand Sydney’s disability,” ex- plains Steudtner, Sydney and Lindsay began their friendship in “but I wasn’t a kid to elementary school. judge. I think that’s why she kept coming back to talk to me and be around me.” In middle school, Steudtner learned more about Sydney. She says she also learned a lot about herself. “I understood more about Syd- ney’s disability at that age, and I learned patience,” notes Steudtner. She recognized that special needs kids tend to act dierently be- cause they don’t always understand things completely. Adds Steudt- ner, “I knew I had to be patient to help [her] understand.” e friendship blossomed in high school, where Steudtner went to Sydney’s dance recitals and family events, accompanied her to the mall, movies and restaurants, and decorated her locker for her birthday. She volunteered as a Peer Assistant at school and speci- cally asked to be assigned to Sydney’s class. Outside of school, Lind- say joined the local chapter of Best Buddies, an organization that matches general education students with special education peers. e group organizes special events and requires a once-a-week touch base and a twice per month outing between buddies. When it comes to Sydney, Steudtner has gone above and beyond the re- quirements. According to Samantha Moran, Best Buddies Texas Program Manager, this is when “a true friendship has developed.” Lindsay has made a special connection with Sydney. “I know what Sydney would order at a restaurant, I know her favorite mu- sic and I know that she tells everyone about me,” beams Steudtner. “Whenever we’re together, other people know who I am even if I don’t know them.” As for Sydney, her feelings for Lindsay are clear: “I love Lindsay. I’m going to miss her so much. I love how she picks me up and we have sleepovers. She takes me to Fat Straws and the
Sydney, left, with Lindsay at the Plano West Best Buddies Prom in May. Sydney says of Lindsay, “She is nice and pretty and she’s my best buddy.”
32 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 { THE “It’s hard [for those with disabilities] to make close friendships. It takes special people like Lindsay, who speaks with her heart. goodKID {She really has a gift.” - Karen Pizette, Sydney’s mom AWARD For her genuine commitment to movies. She is nice and pretty and she’s my best buddy. She is my helping those with disabilities as well as oering sincere friendship friend. She makes me happy.” and loyalty, Good Life Family awards Lindsay Steudtner our Good Sydney’s mom, Karen Pizette, says her daughter calls Lindsay Kids Award and a $250 scholarship. her best friend and the whole family adores Lindsay. “She’s been an Note: Best Buddies is an international organization with chap- incredible friend to Sydney. We’ve been so blessed.” She notes that ters in all 50 states and more than 50 countries. Founded in 1989 many family memories include Steudtner, including a photo taken of by Anthony Kennedy Shriver, who saw a need for “true, authentic the girls together every 4th of July. Adds Pizette. “It’s hard [for those friends” for disabled individuals while a student at Georgetown with disabilities] to make close friendships. It takes special people University. His mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, founded the Spe- like Lindsay, who speaks with her heart. She really has a gi.” cial Olympics. By matching a general education student with a spe- Soon, Steudtner will be o to college, with studies, socializing, and cial education student, Best Buddies creates an atmosphere where campus life on her mind. But, she’s committed to making Sydney a friendships can develop and grow. For more information, see best- part of it. Plans are already made for the Pizette family to visit so Syd- buddiestexas.org. ney can see Lindsay’s dorm room, experience the college environ- ment and attend a football game. Sydney’s mom admits Steudtner’s The GOOD KID Award is presented to a student aged 12 to 21 who displays exemplary departure to college is bittersweet. “We’re so happy for her, but we’re character, courage and personal values and, who, without asking for attention for their going to miss her. We know we’ll always be in touch.” e orts, causes others to take notice. For their genuine commitment to helping a per- As for Lindsay, though she will major in Interior Design, she plans son, organization and/or their community, the winner of the Good Kid Award receives a to maintain her aliation with Best Buddies. “Sydney has become Certi cate of Achievement and a $250 scholarship. To nominate a student for this such a part of my life, as well as all the special education students,” prestigious award, go to www.goodlifefamilymag.com or email Tricia White, says Steudtner. “ey always smile and make my day brighter. I Managing Editor, at [email protected]. would love to work with them when I’m in college.”
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OH, THE PLACES HE’LL GO... by Melissa Chaiken | Section Editor e Hebron High School rising senior says he would ustin Fuller is a man with a plan. Well, that is a young man with advise upcoming young Aa plan. e seventeen-year-old is the owner of Austin’s Detail of entrepreneurs to “share Texas, a car and detailing service here in North Texas. ideas with friends, family Austin has always had a passion for cars and about two years ago and fellow entrepreneurs began helping out at local detailing place. He learned some great to choose the best way to cleaning and detailing skills. He then started washing cars for his start and expand your busi- neighbors and friends and decided to start his own business. ness.” Austin relies heavily Austin oers ser- on Facebook, Twitter and vices from a main- his website to get people to tenance cleaning notice his business. and detail to a Austin plans on continu- showroom qual- ing to expand his business ity detail. Jessica and someday would like to Kile, a Frisco resi- own detail shops around dent says, “Austin the country providing his does a great job customers with top quality on my car. He is employees and fabulous customer service. very meticulous Austin lives in Plano with his parents and younger brother. When and takes pride he is not working on cars, he is playing varsity golf for school or in his work.” working on expanding his watch collection. austinsdetailox.com
THIS KID’S GOT GAME! by Madison Cook | Sta Writer ager who was already burdened with a rigorous academic course load as a student of Stanford t’s late at night and Jacob Cordeiro can be found in Online High School. Taking all of his classes Ihis room intently focused on defeating yet another and tests from his computer at home, Jacob had mission in his Minecra Survival Mode. Stereotypi- a exible schedule that allowed him to pursue cal video game addicted teenage boy, you say? Well, his interests in computer science while also ful- not exactly…Cordeiro, Plano 18-year-old author of lling his writing commitment to Wiley. Jacob Minecra for Dummies (Portable), Game Star Me- admits “it was denitely hard to strike a balance” chanic for Dummies, and Redstone for Dummies, is but “kept a goal to write everyday no matter what just completing yet another night’s work. was going on in high school.” is perseverance Jacob’s interest in computer games began at an paid o as Jacob juggled tight deadlines and long early age, but he did not write his rst book until his nights to produce a perfectly organized 160 page freshman year in high school. Wiley Publications, in nal product. need of a young author, pursued Jacob aer he spoke While he does not have plans to continue his on a panel at the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards about a game writing career, Jacob plans to pursue a joint major in math and com- he designed using the website, Game Star Mechanic. Inuenced by puter science at Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, California in one of his mother’s friends, also a Dummies author, Jacob decided to the fall. He hopes to eventually design his own video game, speci- accept the writing opportunity, and nine months later, Minecra for cally one with an educational aspect to use in schools. Dummies Portable Edition was published. Since then, Jacob has also Jacob lives in Plano with his parents, his 15-year-old brother successfully authored two similar titles. Adam, and two hairless cats. When he is not busy writing, Jacob en- e path to publication was not easy for the inexperienced teen- joys game design, video games, and CrossFit training. 34 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 Wrapped Too Tight?
by Karyn Brodsky | Sta Writer Are you a hovering helicopter parent who micro- manages their offspring’s activities, or are you a hands-off enabler who allows their tween or teen to self-direct? Or, do you reside somewhere in between?
Parenting styles can differ greatly and so can boundaries. We’re digging deep in this feature story to nd out just how far parents will go to in uence their children.
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 35 goodGUIDE DRIVEN TO PROTECT THEM BEHIND THE WHEEL
our teen gets a driver’s license and – spoiler alert – life as you A Dallas mom (who chooses to remain anonymous), says Yknow it has changed forever (and you thought having kids it depends on maturity. “I would not put a tracking device on was the biggest life-changer you’d experience). From now on, them,” says the mom of two teens. “ey know they have to keep you’ll pace nervously until the text conrmation of her arrival in touch. ey’re good kids who talk to us a lot, and I’ve nev- (while parked, of course). And you’ll never fall asleep until you er had to worry about them. [My husband and I] laid a lot of hear the garage door open to signify her safe return. But how can groundwork in the early years and never felt the need to snoop.” you know for sure your young driver is making the right choices Jane Ito of Richardson uses a low-tech approach (plus a track- and staying safe? ing APP) that seems to be working. She draed a 13-point con- Technology is now your best friend. Auto insurance providers tract for her 16-year-old son to sign that outlines rules by which oer devices to monitor and report the car’s rate of speed when he must abide, or he will lose his driving privilege. “It’s useful to your teen drives. Some automobile ignitions will deactivate if put things in writing because my son, like other teens, doesn’t the driver has alcohol on his breath, and smart phones make always listen to words.” Ito reminds her son that his life, the lives tracking available. Dallas dad Jay Bell depends on tracking APPs of his passengers and the lives of other drivers on the road are to “nd” his child…or at least his mobile phone. Bell, whose son at stake. will get his license this summer, feels more secure about letting Bell plans to cra a driving contract for his son as well. “It tells him drive if he can monitor his whereabouts. “I know if my son him what I expect in clear terms, and if he doesn’t adhere to the forgets to text me when he arrives at his destination, I can track rules, he has to face the consequences.” Bell will also tie school his phone to see if he’s where he’s supposed to be.” Alicia Wanek performance to driving. “If he doesn’t put in the eort and get of Plano agrees and is planning ahead. “My teens are not driving the grades expected of him during a grading period, then his car yet, but my husband has already looked into tracking devices will sit in the driveway [and not be driven by him] until the next and to see if there are ways to disable texting while the car is set of grades come out.” moving.” Whatever your choice, remember the State of Texas has strict laws for teen drivers, and at mini- mum, your child must follow them. Teens are required to get 30 hours of behind-the-wheel driver training practice to become eligible to graduate from a driving permit to a provisional driver’s license. All teen drivers must adhere to Graduated Driver License (GDL) restrictions until age 18 (ww1. texas.aaa.com/en-tx/driving-resourc- es/trip-planning-maps/Pages/new- driver-laws.aspx), including: for the rst 12 months, a provisional license holder under the age of 18 may not drive with more than 1 person under the age of 21 that is not an immedi- ate family member; teen drivers may not drive between the hours of mid- night and 5:00 AM except for medical emergencies, purposes of employment or a school sanctioned activity; aer 6 months, both the passenger and time restrictions are waived. (drivinglaws. org/teen/texteen.php)
36 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE THE “DATING GAME” WHAT’S ACCEPTABLE & WHAT’S NOT
our 14-year-old son announces he Yhas a girlfriend. Your 15-year-old daughter says the cute boy in English class asked her for a date. So what do you say? Current dating practices are very dierent than when we grew up and certainly a far cry from those of earlier generations. In the 1950’s, one well-known premise of dating eti- quette for girls was to “properly intro- duce your date to your parents”. Dat- ing etiquette for boys warned “not to kiss on the rst date”. (rd.com/advice/ relationships/should-we-bring-back- 1950s-dating-rules/). If only it were that simple today! First, how young is too young? Jay Leshefsky of Plano says his 13-year- old daughter hasn’t started dating yet. “[at] would seem to be too young.” And where should teens be allowed to spend time together? “When [my daughter does date] they can hang out in the house,” Leshefsky adds. “Not in the bedroom and not in a room with the doors closed.” Aubrey dad Shawn Saumell notes, “Our teens are not al- lowed to date yet. We have an open dialog about dating and discuss what the goal or point in dating is.” He adds “I feel if they are here, I have a better idea of what is going on.” that he and his wife prefer the teens stay in common areas as Dallas dad and family lawyer Je Anderson says he expects his much as possible. 14-year-old son and his girlfriend to remain downstairs on the Many of today’s teenagers go out in groups as opposed to one- main oor when she is over. “I talk regularly to his girlfriend’s on-one dating, and this brings some degree of comfort to par- guardian about our rules, and I’ve had very direct talks with my ents. Plano mom Julie Sacks admits, “Dating is new to us. My son about what is expected of him.” older daughter has her rst boyfriend right now, so we are mak- Being accountable while visiting other teens is important, too.
ing the rules up as we go along.” She adds that her daughter and When Plano mom Lisa Kivett’s teenage son goes out “we have
her boyfriend participate in many group get-togethers or spend always required that we know at whose house he is and whether time at her home. “I do prefer the kids to be here,” says Sacks. there were parents at home.” “Our teens are not allowed to date yet. We have an open dialog { about dating and discuss what the goal or point in dating is.” { - Shawn Saumell
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 37 goodGUIDE DO YOU TROLL TEXTS AND STALK SOCIAL MEDIA?
his is a controversial issue that pits protection against snoop- news/metro/20150426-bullying-proves-a-vexing-problem-for- Ting. ere are those like Plano Sergeant Courtney Pero who schools.ece#commentsDiv). McLaughlin agrees with Padavil. think that when it comes to kids and their safety, privacy should “With social media, you’re giving your kids keys to the world be a minor consideration. Pero advises parents to monitor teens’ and the world keys to their life.” As he does in his own home, electronics use and keep electronics out of the bedroom. “Par- McLaughlin suggests parents require accountability with the ents should be privy to all access codes and passwords.” right to check social media and texts at any time. e bottom Kivett agrees and reserves the right to look at her teens’ line, he says, is that “the phone is owned and the bills are paid phones and to know their current passwords, or they will lose by the parents.” He recommends teaching digital citizenship to their device privileges. She explains her approach is not to be a kids so they can create a positive digital prole for colleges and helicopter mom but to be one who “provides copious amounts employers. “Use this as a teachable moment. ere’s a happy me- of information about dangers and limitations”. As part of warn- dium between stalking your kid and giving your kid unfettered ing her teen of the pitfalls of social media, Kivett told him that access to social media.” nothing is ever truly deleted and that texts, emails or social me- ere are some parents who ght re with re by using tech- dia posts could be shared or end up in the wrong hands. Worse nology to monitor technology. Device monitoring APPs such as yet, it could hurt someone. Kivett told her son to use this rule of Qustodio alert parents to inappropriate posts and lters adult thumb: “If you don’t want Grandma to see it, don’t post it.” content. Anderson has checked his kids’ texts before but doesn’t Principal William McLaughlin of Shepton High School in Pla- do so now and hopes that openness and honesty prevail. “ere no warns of the dangers of social media and refers to a quote by are so many dierent text programs, it’s impossible to check Devin Padavil, rst vice president of the Texas Association of them if a child wants them hidden.” Anderson is friends with Secondary School Principals, as reported in the Dallas Morning his children on Facebook, and he talks with them openly about News. McLaughlin says Padavil called social media “the larg- social media and its dangers. est unsupervised playground in the world” (dallasnews.com/ At the other end of the spectrum, Dallas anesthesiologist Dr. Katie Blakeley checks texts and emails only occasionally because she doesn’t want to erode trust. She admires her brother’s open policy about reading ALL texts and emails of his teens. “[It just] seems a lot more honest and up front,” Blakeley says. {
“There’s a happy medium between stalking your kid and giving your kid unfettered access to social media.” - William McLaughlin, Principal, Shepton High School { 38 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE HELPER OR HANDLER THE QUEST FOR AN “A”
hen it comes to tweens and teens Wexcelling in class, there are three basic schools of thought: help your children get an “A” no matter what it takes, even if it means giving them the answer (admit it, we’ve all done that at least once); provide guidance and an- swer questions, but never actually do the work for them (in a perfect world); let them sink or swim (oen times the result of parental frustration) to learn a hard lesson. None of these tech- niques is foolproof and many parents employ a little bit of each. Sumitra Reddy of Plano favors the rst camp and says when it comes to doing too much to help your kids excel in school, “[My] personal opin- ion is there is NO [such thing as] too much. [Pushing them] is okay and the [banning of] smart phones and the PS4 make it easy to reprimand.”
Kivett’s philosophy falls within the boundaries of the second camp, yet she worries that she has probably been
far more the secretary and task master than she’d like to be. When her kids were younger, she monitored grades { on line, checked homework and { made sure her kids marked their agen- das. “I pushed them It would have been easier to do it for him, but he where they wouldn’t push themselves, and wouldn’t have learned the important lessons that then we’d discuss af- terwards how good should now help him in college.” the eort was to be - Lisa Kivett able to have learned{ enough and earned an A grade.” Once her eldest was in high school the eort was up In the third camp, Blakeley says she has never done home- to him, with participation on sports teams and part time jobs work or projects for any of her four kids who are now all in high dependent on achieving good grades. “His success has had to school or older. Other than working with her teens as a team to be his own,” explains Kivett, “It would have been easier to do it reword writing assignments, she says, “My mantra is ‘I already for him, but he wouldn’t have learned important life lessons that went to __ grade. I do not need to do it again.’” Blakeley feels should now help him in college.” strongly that her kids need to do the hard work, and they will Saumell agrees. “I don’t do any of my teens’ work, but I do not learn if she does it for them. She believes they need to learn monitor grades and hold them accountable and responsible for to fail too and would rather have them fail while under her roof their own work.” He stays in communication with teachers to than later in college. Blakeley adds, “I do not want to promote ensure that his kids are being responsible and will tutor the kids lying or cheating. I consider turning in homework that someone at home. He won’t provide them with answers but will oer tools else did to be both lying and cheating.” and resources to help them help themselves. { goodGUIDE COLLEGE COACH OR APPLICATION COMMANDER?
nn Landers once said, “It is not what you do for your chil- before college and would have been open to it for the twins, Adren, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, though they didn’t ask for one. Once at school, Shrell says her that will make them successful human beings.” McLaughlin girls knew what she and her husband expected of them to be on agrees. “I think, in a society of being helicopter parents, we’ve the “college payroll”. “ey knew if they didn’t make the grade deprived our kids in learning life lessons. e kids would have or take a full load, they were coming home.” Shrell emphasizes been better served learning on their own,” he says. that she wanted to make her teens accountable. “It is important Dallas mom Julie Shrell took this approach when her twin for me that [my kids] be a part of it,” Shrell explains. “It’s their daughters (who recently graduated from college) were going college. I already went.” through the application process. She provided instructions Varun Tewari, CEO & Founder of Victory Step Test Prep, an about deadlines, met with their counselors and was there if they educational company with locations in Dallas and Plano, pre- needed help or a gentle reminder. “I didn’t have to worry about pares teens for the ACT and SAT tests. He feels that parents them,” notes Shrell. “ey really wanted to go to college, and need to nd a balance between being demanding and overbear- they were self-starters.” Shrell warns though, that the amount of ing versus being too distant. “[e] college selection process is assistance or prodding depends on the individual child. a complex one, and parents are usually in the best position to Kivett and her husband sat down with her son in his freshman guide their kids.” Tewari adds that parents should be there for year of high school and read about application requirements to the administrative, moral and nancial support needed during prepare him. “He knew specically what it would take to get into this sometimes frustrating period. He says it’s also important dierent colleges, he learned the costs, he learned what he’d need that parents don’t get too involved in the selection and applica- for scholarships and he learned his options in high school to get tion process. “In the end, it’s the child going to college, and he/ t h e re .” she should feel that they have played an important role in the Shrell isn’t opposed to letting her younger son take a gap year process.” {
“In the end, it’s the child going to college, and he/she should feel that they have played an important role in the process.”
- Varun Tewari, Victory Step College Prep {
40 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE WHAT’S THE DOPE ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL?
ere again, the jury is out on what His the best way to monitor your tweens and teens for drug and alcohol usage. Some in the law enforcement community feel strongly that ALL kids should be drug tested. Plano police of- cer Courtney Pero says “denitely” do it. e Collin County Substance Abuse Coalition (CCSAC), in which Pero’s department is a member, recom- mends that parents “keep a drug test on your counter at all times and ran- domly drug test the kids.” Pero adds, “Someday when a kid is approached with drugs, he’ll say, ‘I can’t because my parents drug test me’”. Many parents agree but only when there is an indication drug testing is necessary. Blakeley does not drug test her kids but is in favor of it if there is suspicion of abuse. “I truly think the best thing you can do for kids with
regard to alcohol and drugs is to set a good example.” Cecily Craw, Senior Director of Out-
{ patient Services at the nationally-rec- ognized Caron Treatment Centers, which has a center in Dallas, disagrees with Pero’s hardline approach. “A drug { test should be kept in the house ONLY if the parent has a suspicion “If he did drink, I have always said that I’d rather that their child is en- gaging in drug use be- get a call from him needing a ride home rather haviors. In these cases, than a call from a police o cer telling me he is it would be a good idea to keep a drug test at injured or worse.” - Lisa Kivett home and let the child{ be aware that it is pres- ent and can be used at any time.” She acknowledges that the test Bell hasn’t had to resort to locking up liquor but thinks drug can be used as leverage or as a deterrent, but advises, “We highly testing, or at the least the presence of a drug test in the house, is recommend that if a parent has a concern, that a drug test only a good idea. “I want to know what my kids are doing, and I want be used in conjunction with a professional evaluation and refer- to do what I can to keep them out of trouble.” ral to services as appropriate.” Kivett admits that she and her husband do not drug test her teen nor lock up liquor, but he knows their position on drugs WHAT DO YOU DO? and drinking. “If he did drink, I have always said that I’d rather Some experts and local parents have weighed in on get a call from him needing a ride home rather than a call from their thoughts about what they think are appropriate a police ocer telling me he is injured or worse.” Kivett has also boundaries with tweens and teens. Now, it’s your turn! warned her son about the dangers of drinking from an open can Take our survey at goodlifefamilymag.com/survey or punchbowl at a party, citing too many opportunities for drugs { to be put in open containers. and let us know what you think. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 41 Healthy Boundaries by Dr. Sandy Gluckman | Contributor
42 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodTO KNOW
DOES NO MEAN GO? LEARN HOW TO ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES KIDS CAN LIVE WITH
oundaries” – a word that is like a red rag to a bull for TELLTALE SIGNS THAT YOU NEED BETTER BOUND parents as well as kids. By denition, a boundary in ARIES. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T WANT TO, YOU “Bthe parent-child relationship marks the point between ac- FIND YOURSELF… ceptable and unacceptable behavior. When we say, “at’s • Constantly telling your children what they are doing wrong it! You just crossed the line,” we mean that the child’s behav- • Warning your kids about what will happen if they … ior has become unacceptable according to our expectations. • Preaching about what they should and shouldn’t do Setting boundaries is a fundamentally important skill for • Feeling you’re not getting the respect you deserve raising children. Yet it is one of the parenting skills that so • Criticizing many moms and dads struggle with. ere are numerous signicant benets to having healthy DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PARENT WHO ESTAB boundaries, two of which are: LISHES HEALTHY BOUNDARIES? Here’s how. 1. With clearly communicated and agreed boundaries there should be less stress and conict because there is lit- 1. If you struggle with boundaries, know why. Are you tle to argue about. Teens will test the boundaries, but that is an enabler? A pleaser? Did you see your parents do this and part of being a teenager, and staying rm is part of your role are you now doing the same to your kids? as a parent. 2. When you establish boundaries, not only do you value 2. Be sure that your boundaries are healthy. Healthy yourself and what is important to you, but you’re also teach- boundaries are not boundaries designed to make parents’ ing your children to value themselves. As your kids watch lives easier. ey are established to teach good habits that you calmly and successfully establish your personal bound- will guide children for the rest of their lives. aries, they learn that it is okay for them to do this for them- selves in their own lives. is is a powerful skill for them 3. Boundaries need to be clear, speci c, and clearly to take into life with them – one that will set them up for communicated. You need to think about what you want to success. say and how you want to say it before doing so.
I CAN BE GOOD TO BOTH YOU AND ME THROUGH 4. Establish only those boundaries you are prepared HEALTHY BOUNDARIES to enforce. Focus only on a few issues that will have lasting Healthy boundaries create relationships in which parents value to your children - not rules for blind obedience. can be good to their kids as well as to themselves. Problems arise when parents have a false belief that having boundaries 5. To work, boundaries have to be consistent and both is unkind, unloving or selsh. In fact, it is the very opposite. parents have to be on the same page. Establishing healthy boundaries is the best way of showing love and respect. Only by maintaining healthy boundaries 6. Use the KISS Principle. Choose a few simple rules ap- can you demonstrate real love for yourself and for others. propriate to your situation with your child – too many rules become frustrating and cumbersome to implement. ARE YOU ONE OF THESE PARENTS? Over the many years of working with families I have seen 7. Successful enforcement of boundaries is based on that there are two kinds of parents who nd it dicult to FEW WORDS. What annoys parents the most is their chil- create boundaries and to stand rm by them once nally es- dren’s excuses, arguments and complaints. It is then too easy tablished. Are you one of these? to become involved in counter-arguments and counter-log- ENABLERS. ese are parents who want to make sure their ic, to start cajoling, explaining, rescuing or threatening. Now children have everything they didn’t have and who want to the game is on. e more you talk the more you are likely to protect their kids from every problem and emotion. is get words back, and all that you are doing is actually rein- creates a sense of over-entitlement and sometimes lack of forcing the very negotiating and whining behavior you don’t self-condence or inated self-esteem in the children. want. PLEASERS. Some parents focus so much on pleasing their kids that they don’t focus on taking care of themselves. ey When you remember that you are oering your child a demonstrate self-denial and relentless caretaking, some- gi for life by setting healthy boundaries, it becomes so easy times to the point where they virtually invite their kids to to do. take advantage of them while oen tolerating disrespectful treatment.
Editor’s Note: For more information about Dr. Gluckman and her “Parents Take Charge” workshops, go to www.parentstakecharge.com.
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 43 goodTO KNOW The Teen Years: The Time of Our Lives by Madison Cook | Sta Writer on their child’s mind before jumping to conclusions. Par- ents need to nd the perfect balance in establishing this h… the good ole’ teenage years. Six of the most stressful and emo- relationship while being ok with the fact that all teens are tional, yet incredibly AWESOME years of our lives when we are naturally going to try to break away. Onally discovering who we really are – our interests, passions, true Recently, I have learned that as much as I may try to friends – the things that mean the most to us. It is during this time break away from my parents, it is during these years that that we move away from the sheltered years of our childhood to the I need parental inuence more than ever. Oen times, beginning of our long adulthood. teens like me get too caught up in the present to realize And no, you didn’t read that wrong. ADULood. Adult as in… the consequences our actions will have in the future. Well, that’s where it gets kind of complicated. You see, teenagers crave Needless to say, I don’t always think my choices through freedom. Something about living spontaneous, free-willed lives is ri- as thoroughly as I probably should. at’s what makes me – and oth- diculously enticing to the young mind. We feel as if we are ready to er teens – who we are and teaches us the most important life lessons take on the real world and be considered adults, boldly taking down going forward. Kids with overprotective parents who are shielded any and every obstacle in our way. at is until we get pulled over from the real world risk losing out on these crucial opportunities for for driving aer curfew with ve friends crammed in the back seat. growth. I am not afraid of failure, as my teenage years have allowed We are then thrust back into reality where we are still just immature, me to recognize that I have to mess up in order to truly learn from inexperienced kids. my mistakes. Teens are, well, needy. We are hard to gure out and sometimes we e reality remains: teenagers are going to get in trouble, we are can’t even gure out ourselves. What exactly is it that we need from curious about the many wonders of the world around us, and par- our parents during this emotional time? We need our parents to un- ents will never be able to completely tame our rebellious side. But derstand us! In order to really connect with teens, parents have to be parents underestimate the impact they can have on their teenagers willing to really listen, taking the time to understand what is actually when it comes to controlling this adventurous side, especially when
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“I think parents are there for their children to lead them in the right direction and raise them to be able to live on their own. However, I think parents become too involved when they start telling their children exactly what to do in their life. On the other hand, if parents aren’t making sure that their children are on the right path then they need to be more involved.” – Jake Hershman, rising junior, Greenhill School
“Parents should be there to help you with major decisions in your life, but they oer genuine advice and constructive criticism. I have wit- they must also respect teenagers’ need for privacy. The perfect balance nessed rsthand some pre-homecoming outt disasters between is telling them something is going on in your life, my closest friends and their parents, and my opinion remains and them giving you the chance to gure it out on the same. Teens respond much better to, “You know, Sarah, that your own and only interfering if it’s necessary or dress is cute but maybe a little too showy,” than “You look trashy! you want their help.” Take that o now!” Friendly reminders are much more eective – Chandler Weiss, rising junior, Plano West than all-out demands because they make us feel like we are still Senior High School in control. is harmonious balance is going to look dierent for every family, but I am happy to say I think my family has nally nailed it! Editor’s Note: Madison is a rising junior at Greenhill School and a regular contributor to Good Life Family.
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simplifyyournest.com goodTO KNOW Teen Relationships - Healthy or Not?
by Dr. Susan Sugerman | Contributor you’re doing, and whom you’re with at all times. You should “wear this,” not that. You should “be with me,” instead with the people or doing the things you care about. You should stop pursu- ngela is SO lucky!” her girlfriends exclaim. e quiet, shy ing your dreams (because “you’ll never make it, anyway”). Even- sophomore has scored the boyfriend of the century. C.J. is tually come the direct { aA senior and the “hottest” guy in school. As her friends banter insults and name calling. about why they don’t all have boyfriends, Angela and C.J. spend e abuser checks your more time together, sometimes seeming to blend into one person. texts and phone records. When her friends complain that CJ keeps her from spending time He/she threatens to do with them, Angela accuses them of being jealous. Eventually, CJ’s something to harm you “Controlling and abusive controlling nature and explosive anger turn to violence. By then, or your reputation (e.g. Angela has become isolated from the very people who could help send inappropriate pho- relationships happen her the most. tos, spread rumors, etc.) across all ethnic and ose of you who have seen “Don’t U Luv Me” (by local play- if you don’t comply with socioeconomic groups. wright Linda Daugherty) will recognize this all too common sce- their wishes. nario in teen (and unfortunately adult) relationships. Males and Victims begin to be- Recognizing them is the females are aected (though women are more commonly victims lieve it is their own fault. rst stop toward ending a of physical violence). Controlling and abusive relationships hap- e abusive partner potentially tragic cycle.” pen across all ethnic and socioeconomic groups. Recognizing makes you feel ashamed them is the rst stop toward ending a potentially tragic cycle. or unworthy of anything - Dr. Susan Sugerman better. You begin to be- What healthy relationships look like lieve it when you are told, People in healthy relationships know who they are, or at least “It’s your fault that I got
know who they are not. ey have a sense of their own goals and upset (or wrecked my car { are motivated to protect their own needs. ey care strongly for or failed my test)!” You their partners but expect to be treated well themselves. In a good justify the behavior to others, saying, “He was having a bad day,” relationship, each person feels more condent about who he or or “Well, I made her mad because I forgot to run that errand.” she already is. Healthy partners celebrate the best in each other Commonly, abusers threaten to kill themselves if you leave them. and do not try to make the other change for their own purposes. You begin to feel compelled to tiptoe around situations trying not A good relationship makes it easier to be more of who you to trigger any more outrage or violence. are, not less or di erent. Healthy relationship partners encourage Eventually the victim becomes isolated from the very people one another to pursue their individual talents and dreams. Teens they need to help them. Aer a while, friends and even fami- in healthy relationships should nd their grades go up, not down. ly stop trying to change your mind about your partner. ey get ey learn to incorporate their new love interest into their lives, used to you backing out of plans at the last minute. ey give up nding ways to balance the desire for personal intimacy with the hoping you will call them back. By the time you realize you need need to stay connected to the people and activities they care about. help, it can be hard to nd. Healthy partners help each other handle hard stu . Being Weeks, months, or even years later…Relationships can be- happy is easy, especially in the early phases of romance. What come physically or sexually abusive. Beware of suspicious of black matters is how two people get through what’s hard, both within eyes, reports of “accidentally” tripping down stairs, etc. their relationship and when facing external stressors. ey work together to handle conicts through mutual problem-solving and What Parents Can Do compromise rather than trying to win the ght. Teach your children to demand what they deserve. Teens have the right to feel honored in their relationships, to have their own What an unhealthy relationship looks like space, to keep their friends, to include their family, and to feel Unhealthy relationships start out great! e beginning of a good about who they are. Teach them that relationships involve controlling relationship is full of attery and passion. He/she compromise, but a good relationship should help a person feel wants to be with you all the time and thinks you’re the most awe- more secure and condent without feeling the need to alter his some person they’ve ever met, saying things like, “No one under- or her identity. stands me like you do!” Jealousy over time spent with your friends Teach communication and limit setting. Help your child to and your family is sweet at rst but becomes suocating and even- set and reinforce self-protective boundaries. Be willing to let them tually hostile. blame you for curfews, technology limits, time with family, etc. Over time, unhealthy partners become critical, condescend- Remember that no one “asks” to be abused. Unhealthy rela- ing, and controlling. ey want to know where you are, what tionships evolve over time. Abusers tend to be charismatic and 46 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodTO KNOW
charming. What starts out as a strong connection full of attery separate from a dangerous situation, they will need your help in and admiration can turn jealous and controlling before the victim very signicant ways. eir abuser knows which “buttons to push” realizes it is happening. Even healthy people can end up in un- or threats to make to weaken defenses and lure them back. Let your healthy situations. child blame you for cutting the o from their abusive partner. Set Be patient and understanding. Leaving is hard. e relation- rm curfews, deny access to the car, and make it known publicly ship is probably not all bad. Oen still drawn to the good that does (especially to the abuser) that you are monitoring their social me- exist in the relationship, the victim defends the abuser from accusa- dia postings. Use “Parental Controls” through your phone carrier tions of friends and family. ey don’t want the relationship to end; to help restrict calls and texts to and from certain numbers (though they just want the abuse to stop. Help your child honor the good beware of texting apps that can get around this). Change the abus- { memories while being clear that the bad parts of the relationship er’s contact information in your child’s phone to read “DO NOT are dangerous and not likely to change. It will take your repeated ANSWER” so that she/he is not tempted the next time a call comes loving but rm insistence that you understand how hard it is but through. Help your child to nd alternative activities to stay busy that you will not continue to allow them to be in a controlling or and accountable to other responsible peers and adults. If necessary, dangerous situation. get the police or the school involved. Sometimes, involving the Try not to get too frustrated too fast when your child hangs on abuser’s own parents is appropriate if it can be done sensitively. In to a potentially bad relationship. Take time to process the situa- an ideal world, those parents can help their child get counseling tion in your own mind and come up with a measured, reasonable support in order to change behaviors in the future. approach. Try not to judge your child too quickly for not “xing” Keep some perspective--things that are hard are not without it. Remember if your child had the insight and skill to end the re- value. Developing healthy relationship skills takes time and expe- lationship it would have been over by now. rience. Help your child learn from his or her mistakes. ey will Be willing to be the bad guy. When your child truly is ready to learn what NOT to tolerate in the future. {
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 47 goodTO KNOW Learning Curve Ahead HELPING YOUR COLLEGE BOUND TEEN MAINTAIN GOOD MENTAL HEALTH
by Diana Weaver | Contributor
ending your teen o to college is an exciting and nerve-wrack- was able to direct them to the help they needed to get over that ing time for parents. We equip our young people with new hump. laptops,S supplies for a comfortable dorm room, snacks to help While everybody has the blues, feels anxious or gets stressed them survive erratic hours and much more. sometimes, it is important to realize that when it continues for Yet, one aspect we oen overlook in preparing for college is a long time or interferes with daily activities, it may be more se- teaching our kids how to maintain good mental health. Accord- rious. Depression is very dierent from the occasional blues and ing to a national survey, the emotional health of incoming fresh- can be debilitating and lead to suicidal thinking. Seven percent of man is at an all-time low, and students report feeling increasingly college students say they have seriously considered suicide overwhelmed before they enter college. in the past year, and suicide is now the second leading I remember well when I was a college sophomore and had re- cause of death among college-age young people. cently gone through a traumatic breakup with my longtime boy- Depression can run in families, and it most friend. at’s when I experienced my rst bout of true depression. commonly starts between the ages of 15 and No one had ever discussed this with me, and I was too ashamed 24. Depression has physical and emotional to reach out for help. Fortunately, good friends nally led me to symptoms that cannot be wished away. the counseling center. People with depression can’t just “pull As a single mom of three sons, I have experienced this with themselves together.” e good news each of my boys as they navigated their college years. For dier- is that depression can be treated and ent reasons, each one of them hit a bump in the road during their people can recover. college tenure, and having the benet of my own experience, I
HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR COLLEGE BOUND TEENS TO HELP THEM TAKE BETTER CARE OF THEIR MENTAL HEALTH
DEVELOP A SUPPORT NETWORK. Joining campus and GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT. Visit extracurricular activities such as playing in a college band, the health or counseling center and joining an intramural sports team, or writing for the school discuss concerns you may have with newspaper are great ways to meet new friends. Developing a health professional. Most college positive connections with others is an important factor in campuses have mental health good mental health. counseling available for stu- BALANCE YOUR TIME. If you have concerns over your dents. If treatment is advised, study habits, ability to take tests, or managing your course- follow instructions. Watch work, talk with teachers, counselors, family or friends for out for side e ects and at- advice and support. Most colleges and universities have tend follow-up appoint- resources to help students stay on top of coursework and ments to assess improve- help improve study habits. There is also often free tutoring ment. If you don’t feel available for those who need additional help. better in four to six weeks, STAY ACTIVE. Regular physical activity improves your notify the health professional. mood, helps relieve depression and increases feelings of TAKE YOUR MEDICATION. well-being. Make use of the tness facility on campus or en- If your college-bound student roll in classes that provide you with physical activity. takes medication to treat a men- WATCH WHAT YOU EAT. The busy life of a college student tal health condition, make sure to can lead to erratic eating habits, and this can a ect mood. discuss the importance of taking Be sure to eat regular, well balanced meals and stay away medication regularly and following from sugary carbonated beverages, energy drinks and pro- up with his mental health professional cessed snacks that can a ect blood sugar and mood. on a regular basis. Managing any med- GET YOUR ZZZS. Fatigue and sleep deprivation can lead ical condition is an important part of a to depression. Avoid stimulants like ca eine and nicotine young person’s development toward which can disrupt your sleep patterns. Try to stick to a regu- independence, and learning how to lar sleep schedule and avoid pulling an all-nighter to study. monitor one’s mood is key to achieving good mental health.
48 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodTO KNOW www.ulifeline.org ULifeline is an anonymous, confidential, online resource center, Learning Curve Ahead where you’ll find information on mental health resources at your HEADED TO COLLEGE? DON’T FORGET TO PACK THESE TIPS. college along with a self-test for mental health. WEBSITES FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS:
www.thetrevorproject.org The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13 to 24.
www.activeminds.org Active Minds is changing the culture on campuses and in the community by providing information, leadership opportunities and advocacy training for the next generation. TIPS FOR PARENTS
E-MAIL OR TEXT YOUR STUDENT. Allow your student to be www.halfofus.com on his/her own. As students are adjusting, a call may seem in- The Jed Foundation and mtvU trusive. Find a balance with your child and see what will work created Half of Us to initiate a public dialogue to raise awareness about the for both of you. You might want to have a conversation be- prevalence of mental health issues and fore your student leaves to create shared expectations. connect students to the appropriate TALK OPENLY ABOUT ALCOHOL, DRUGS, SEX AND OTH- resources to get help. View videos ER INFLUENCES. Parents should have open conversations featuring young people and celebrities talking about their struggles and how about these issues and talk about new responsibilities as an they overcame them. adult. You want to keep the lines of communication open. This will open the door for your student to come to you if needed. DISCUSS FINANCES IN ADVANCE. Talk about budgeting and how to spend money appropriately. Keep in mind, cred- it card companies advertise to students with tantalizing offers. Make sure that your student is aware of all the charges that come with having a credit card. DON’T QUIZ YOUR CHILD ABOUT ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE. Instead, ask your student what she is learning. Allow students to grow academically in their own time; this will help them find a major that best suits them. Class performance is known to drop in the first semester NEED TO TALK? in college. Understand that this is normal. Don’t make a huge deal about grades unless they’re being completely blown off. Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO SEEK OUTSIDE RESOURCES. Remind your A 24-hour crisis hotline that will help you child that it’s not a sign of weakness to seek out campus counseling services connect with mental health resources in or community resources. This also applies to classroom struggles. Students can your area. seek help through a professor or an outside tutor. ENJOY HAVING AN EMPTY NEST. If you feel a sense of loss, don’t dwell on it. Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 This is a struggle not only for the student, but for the parents as well. Make sure A 24-hour toll-free, confidential crisis and sui- that you are practicing self-care. This might be an opportunity to revisit old hob- cide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bi- bies or discover new ones. sexual, transgender and questioning youth.
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 49 goodHEALTH “Summer is a great time to prepare for the ACT and SAT. It’s a good time to retain more material…. The Much-Needed Meltdown without distractions like AP exams or school year by Kristin Cicciarelli | Contributor It’s true that helping others is a gi to our spirit; In fact, relation- ships, volunteer organizations and community groups are essential extracurriculars.” ave you ever had a total meltdown? You know, one of those re- to our senses of belonging and well-being. However, they should add - Varun Tewari, owner of Victory Step Test Prep ally embarrassing, drama-lled episodes where you announce to your daily joy, not chip away at any emphasis on your own needs. toH yourself and the world, seemingly out of nowhere, that in no un- It’s not possible to help others in an eective and meaningful way certain terms, you “Just. Can’t. Take. It. Anymore.” But how did you when you feel depleted, and doing a task or favor that leaves you get to that emotional point of no return so “quickly”? resentful does not serve anyone, particularly yourself. e answer may surprise you . . . you didn’t. Unless you’re wired with an eerily steely reserve, like Tony Soprano, your much-needed PHASE TWO THE PHYSICAL PAIN meltdown has been in the works for some time; you’ve simply cho- sen to ignore its warning signals. Let’s take a look at the making of Okay, so you ignored your gut reaction. Your “Handy Dandy List” the Much-Needed Meltdown: gave you full permission to override your feelings. You plunged ahead into resolving someone else’s problem. Again. PHASE ONE THE GUT REACTION Now, you notice something longer-lasting than the gut reaction: enter, the physical pain. It usually begins in a subtle way — you get Your body is the rst (and also the last) to let you know when your a three-day headache aer completing your co-worker’s project; or, life’s getting out of balance. On a physiological level, your ght or a rash develops while working on a committee for which you regret ight alarm rings almost immediately when faced with potential signing up; perhaps you get shoulder pain every time you haul your danger: your palms sweat, your stomach pits, your face feels hot. teenager’s giant basket of laundry up the stairs, something he’s been ese are clear signs that trouble is imminent. told many times to do himself. Your body is clearly telling you that IN-HOME PRIVATE TUTORING & ENGAGING GROUP COURSES something’s gotta give… “Without a doubt, unresolved feelings including frustration and SAT | ACT | GMAT | AP Subjects anger will manifest in the body in a physiological way,” says Dallas psychotherapist Mary Sanger of Insights Collaborative erapy p Average Score Increase of 270 Points p Interactive & Live Lectures Group. “ere’s simply no getting around this fact, though I see people trying to do so every day.” p World-Class 98th Percentile Scores p Proctored Practice Tests PHASE THREE THE KABLOOIE! p Free Initial Assessment p Detailed Score Reports Funny, but many of us would rather reach the boiling point than establish healthy boundaries in a proactive way. ough a Much-Needed Meltdown may be the only thing dramatic enough to get your (and others’) attention, it can also be highly embarrass- WHY DOES VICTORY STEP STAND ABOVE THE REST? ing and carry its own set of consequences. 1. QUALITY TUTORS. Victory Step only hires those 3. A thorough, INDIVIDUALIZED CURRICULUM “Meltdowns are sometimes inevitable,” Sanger says. “But it’s im- portant to remember the negative impact they can have not only who scored in the top 2% on the SAT or ACT. formulated to strengthen weaknesses based on the on ourselves but also on others. Practicing regular boundary set- 2. ENGAGING INSTRUCTORS who make the pro- results of an initial practice test. ting and self-soothing are the keys to keeping meltdowns at bay.” cess interesting. 4. REASONABLY PRICED instruction. HOW TO PREVENT THE MELTDOWN “BEST TEST PREP & TUTORING IN DALLAS, FORT WORTH, AND HOUSTON” - CBS NEWS But let’s say you’re not faced with a physical danger, like, being eat- • Pay attention to your body’s signals. en by lions, but by an emotional or spiritual one. For example, your • When a task, favor or commitment triggers physical discomfort, co-worker repeatedly asks for favors and even though you agree to stop and ask yourself why you are doing it. help her, you notice your jaw clenches as you say yes. It’s very easy to • If it’s not something you “must” do, communicate and delegate to rationalize your answer; aer all, you keep your “Handy Dandy List others their need to participate. of Excuses for Helping Others in Lieu of Yourself” in your top desk • Practice self-care: regular exercise, deep breathing, meditation and drawer. An excerpt from this list might include: listening to soothing music are all important tools for keeping melt- 1) I should help others, right? downs at bay. 2) She doesn’t have anybody else, and I should rescue her. FIND OUT MORE! 3) She did help me that one time four years ago, even though it For more information, contact Mary Sanger at Insights (877) 638-0707 was her job. Collaborative erapy Group, www.insightstherapty.com. 4) I don’t want the group to think I’m lazy. www.VictoryStepOnline.com 5) I guess it wouldn’t hurt me. 50 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 “Summer is a great time to prepare for the ACT and SAT. It’s a good time to retain more material…. without distractions like AP exams or school year extracurriculars.” - Varun Tewari, owner of Victory Step Test Prep
IN-HOME PRIVATE TUTORING & ENGAGING GROUP COURSES SAT | ACT | GMAT | AP Subjects
p Average Score Increase of 270 Points p Interactive & Live Lectures
p World-Class 98th Percentile Scores p Proctored Practice Tests
p Free Initial Assessment p Detailed Score Reports
WHY DOES VICTORY STEP STAND ABOVE THE REST? 1. QUALITY TUTORS. Victory Step only hires those 3. A thorough, INDIVIDUALIZED CURRICULUM who scored in the top 2% on the SAT or ACT. formulated to strengthen weaknesses based on the 2. ENGAGING INSTRUCTORS who make the pro- results of an initial practice test. cess interesting. 4. REASONABLY PRICED instruction.
“BEST TEST PREP & TUTORING IN DALLAS, FORT WORTH, AND HOUSTON” - CBS NEWS
FIND OUT MORE! (877) 638-0707 www.VictoryStepOnline.com
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 51 goodFASHION Versatility of the Plain White Tee by Amy Levenson Krumholz | Contributor
Who knew…the plain white tee can take you from date night to a luncheon, to the oce and even to a cocktail party! ink of it as your blank canvas. You can take it from casual to dressy and everywhere in-between with a few small, easy changes that most people have in their closets right now. Make sure you have a few dierent styles and a variety of accessories (think necklace, scarf, jacket, shoes). e beauty of the white tee is that with the right additions, it is always appropriate for any occasion. Without a doubt, the white tee will become your favorite go-to piece. Ladies That Lunch! Date Night
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EXTRAORDINARY SERVICE, NO EXCUSES. Book Review: Missoula THE HARD TO HEAR STORY YOU NEED TO HEAR
by Melissa Chaiken | Section Editor
54 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 Bestselling author Jon Krakauer, gives a stark, powerful, meticulously reported narrative about a series of sexual assaults at the University of Montana — stories that illuminate the human The National Child Traumatic drama behind the national plague of campus rape. Stress Network o ers the following tips for preventing s summer starts to come to a close and alleged perpetrator. is is especially true if fall begins to peek around the corner, we the victim is sexually active; if she had been acquaintance rape: enterA that dreaded-by-some-and-highly-an- drinking prior to the assault – and if the man ticipated-by-others season known as “Back to she accuses plays on a popular sports team.” • Expect respect and keep away from School.” Ironically, some of the people who In Missoula, Krakauer focuses on several in- people who don’t show you respect. have looked forward to this season in past cidents where the alleged perpetrators were years may be dreading it this year because for talented football players on the beloved Uni- • Be clear about your limits: let the them “Back to School” is taking on a whole versity of Montana Grizzlies team. e victims other person know what you want and new meaning. I am talking about parents who felt great reluctance to come forward because don’t want to do. You have the right are going to be moving their young adult into of the popularity of these athletes and the pub- to change your mind, to say “no”, or to a college dormitory across town, across the lic scrutiny they were sure to endure upon l- agree to some sexual activities and not state, or possibly across the country. ing charges and seeking justice. Further, the is milestone comes with many conicting victims that did muster the courage to report to others. emotions as well as the need for a new blue- these violations were oen treated with hesita- print for parent/child relations. ese young- tion by authorities who stressed to the victims • Don’t allow a person to touch you sters will no longer be under the watchful eye how dicult rape is to prove and how likely if it makes you uncomfortable. If of parents and obligated to return home each the victim is to be “dragged through the mud” your limits are reached or you sense night by curfew. e new freedom for these in the community as well as on social media. danger, speak your mind and act imme- college students and simultaneous What parents can take away from diately. Make a scene if necessary. loss of control for their parents re- Missoula is the absolute ne- sults in a period of adjustment for cessity of talking to your • Avoid excessive drinking or drugs. all. ere are serious issues to be children about this issue. Al- They reduce your ability to think and addressed regarding responsibili- cohol consumption is so of- ty, communication, safety, man- ten entwined with the stories communicate clearly. Being drunk or aging money, keeping a dorm of acquaintance rape that it is high does not give anyone permission room clean, handling one’s laun- also imperative to address the to assault you. dry load, homesickness, and be- consequences of drinking to ing a respectful and courteous excess. Kraukauer delivers sta- • Pour your own beverage and keep roommate. tistics that show 1 in 4 women it in sight. Date rape drugs such as One of the most important in college today are victims of Rohypnol, GHB or Ketamine (also called issues we can stress with our rape and that 90% of all college Special K) can often be undetectable, children going o to college rapes are acquaintance rape, and cause e ects such as sleepiness, is personal safety. is safety not stranger rape. Like any oth- blacking out, delirium, amnesia, sei- umbrella covers many facets er violent crime, victims oen of life: traveling to and from suer from devastating psycho- zures, dizziness and nausea. college, meeting new people, logical damage for years to come. going to parties where alcohol and possibly Krakauer estimates that 50% of rape victims • Don’t hang out in places that keep drugs are readily available, sexual experimen- suer from post-traumatic stress disorder – a you isolated from others. Although tation and living independently for the rst higher rate that soldiers returning from war. you may feel you can take care of your- time. is can be a terrifying time for parents e perpetrator can be subject to incarceration self, it is always wise to be careful. of new college students, especially for those us or other judicial punishment, forced to register of with control issues! as a sex oender, and oen has to live with a • Trust your instincts. If you feel that One of the most alarming issues facing col- sullied reputation even if not convicted. e a person is not trustworthy or a situa- lege campuses today is the rising occurrence families of both the victims and the perpetra- tion is unsafe, leave. of acquaintance rape. Bestselling author Jon tors also undergo intense public scrutiny and Krakauer’s book, Missoula: Rape and the have to deal with their loved one’s pain, humil- Justice System in a College Town, details the iation and stigmatization. • Have a back-up plan. For exam- rash of sexual assaults that were reported on Parents who are sending their children o to ple, if you are going out to a party in the campus of the University of Montana be- college must inform both their boys and their a di erent neighborhood, make sure tween January 2008 and May 2012. While this girls about acquaintance rape and its devastat- someone you trust knows where you book focuses on one campus only, the issues ing eects. While Missoula is a documentation are going. Have a person you can call Krakauer brings into the spotlight are univer- of a group of isolated circumstances, stories to come and get you if you need to leave sal to campuses across the country. like these are occurring on many college cam- without your original ride. Krakauer tells us, “Acquaintance rape is a puses. With a little education and knowledge crime like no other. Unlike burglary or em- maybe we can start to see the number of these bezzlement or any other felony, the victim incidents decrease as we send the next genera- oen comes under more suspicion than the tion of college students o into university life. goodFRIENDS Let’s Hear It For The Girls Taking time for your girlfriends makes the best of YOU! by Cecily Knobler | Contributor e greatest part about a Girls Night Out is we get to connect to our touchstones. We get to hug our lifelines, and none of it has ou know that friend you have who just completely “gets” you? to be too serious. We can be the silly version of ourselves…or the She makes you laugh until your ribs hurt, until you’ve smiled annoyed version…or the side of us who just wants to kick back Yso much you can’t feel your face? Yes? Call her right now, and make and be free of stress. Whether we’re wearing stiletto heels or Con- a plan for a night out. It’s time to reconnect to the gal-pals who verse tennis shoes, our girlfriends see us through the same lter, recharge your spirit. You know, the ones who love you, even when so there’s no pressure to be anyone other than who we want to be. you’re having “a day” or you’ve got toothpaste on your shirt. e How many therapists genuinely make us laugh? How oen truth is that sometimes you just need a friend to stand in for your can we drink wine while deconstructing everything that’s on our sister…or your mother…or you conscience…or your iPhone text minds? With our best girlfriends, nothing is o limits. I mean, I decoder. Someone to explain how Snapchat works or to tell you the guess if you’re totally obsessed with e Bachelor, there may be a truth about your “Mom Jeans.” need for tough love. Oh who are we kidding? ey’re most likely “Feelings” isn’t a curse word with our girlfriends. ey under- obsessed with it too. stand that sometimes aer a grueling day or week, we just need to So let your hair down! Call some friends who love you and re- take a mulligan, without drama or obligation. When we just want connect! Make a reservation. Have a martini. Have an extra slice of to talk about everything from our husbands to our highlights to cake. Book a spa day. Go see a ridiculously sappy romantic movie. good/bad reality TV, our friends help our souls renew so that we Go shopping to replace those Mom Jeans. At the end of the day, can feel like ourselves again. And even if they occasionally refer to you’re not just someone’s wife or mom or daughter or boss or em- us as a “hot mess,” we know they’re coming from a place of love. ployee. You’re a best friend to someone who loves you, who gets Because they’ve lived it. you and who probably needs a night out just as much as you do! goodFRIENDS Local Moms Share What Their Girlfriends Mean to Them
“The friendship with my girlfriends is liter- ally the glue that holds me together. They are with me every step of the way - cele- brating successes, crying over losses, com- paring notes on raising kids, and just be- ing there as I go through the big and the small things that happen every day. Life would de nitely be harder and a lot less fun without them.” - Jane Ito Spring Break in Destin, Florida Boston girl’s trip L to R: Leslie Gilvar, Susie Learmont, Amy Depner, Sue L to R: Kim Costigan, Leslie Leach and Jane Ito Benton and Traci Koen
“These are the friends I made when my oldest “Girlfriends are like Jok- was in kindergarten. We just sent them o to ers - always there when their rst year of college, and they have been my you need one! The Majh support system for over 13 years. We have shared Mavens have been play- tears of sadness and joy, much laughter, moral ing together for ve years support, times of celebration and times of re ec- and helping one another tion. They are my lifeline to sanity!” through the adventures - Susie Learmont of life.” - Teresa Niermeyer Playing Mah-jongg at Willow Bend Mall L to R: Cindy Garrison, Kelly Flynn, Debbie Gillespie, Teresa Niermeyer and Julie Tadlock
“Girlfriends are so important to me because they ‘get’ me and support me in overcoming obstacles and celebrating successes!” - Carol Margolis Top Row: Missy Slavin, Mary Alexander, Beth Jenks, Bottom row: Lauren Green, Adrienne Jo-el Howell, Emily Payne Bransky, Dana Freed Middle Row: Tracey Hill, Kelly Dossman, Beth Thompson Top Row: Carol Margolis, Lisa Crawford, Bottom Row: Chris Russo Not pictured: Deborah Stowe Rachel Pearlman and Stefanie Toppel “Meet the Bloody Mary Friday Group! These Moms meet every Friday for lunch in constant search for the best Blood Mary. We truly have “True friends help you through life, a special bond; we celebrate each other and margaritas and birthdays.” ourselves. It makes all of our relationships rich- - Ann Myer er when we take time for ourselves and con- nect with strong, positive, loving friends. We Top Row: Lisa Smith, Leslie Oden, talk, laugh, cry and sometimes seek advice. It’s Third Row: Linda McCullough, great therapy which is good for the soul!” Janey Fullington, Andrea Wood, -Beth Thompson Second Row: Susan Cure, Laurie Goyan, Wendi Hart First Row: Jen Boleman, Ann Myer, Lori Collyar GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 57 Capers o ers di erent ways to combine learning to cook and spending time Equal Parts Food and Fun with your friends: CAPERS BRINGS THE FOOD, THE DRINKS, THE PARTY “MOM! WHAT’S FOR DINNER?” ATMOSPHERE AND THE CULINARY EXPERTISE TO Get your friends together and select THE TABLE YOU BRING YOUR FRIENDS! a yummy menu from the options of- by Melissa Chaiken | Section Editor fered – many choices ranging from a traditional roasted chicken dinner obbie Ames knows food. Bobbie Ames loves food. Bobbie Ames wants you to to spicy shrimp curry. You will learn know food and love food too! So...she created Capers, her venture into inspir- the best methods for cooking your ingB you to add new techniques and ideas to your meals. Cooking can be FUN and favorite foods and CREATIVE and IMAGINATIVE will get hands-on Bobbie Ames, Capers creator and SOCIAL. e word “capers” has two de- practice by creating nitions. In the culinary world, a main course, sides caper owers and buds are typi- and dessert. Every- cally pickled and used as a avor one goes home with enhancer. “Capers” also means a a delicious home- light-hearted recreational activ- ity for diversion or amusement. made meal for their Bobbie wants you to see cooking family. can be functional as well as an ad- venture to share with friends and THE HAPPIEST OF family. HOURS PARTY Bobbie knows how busy we all are with our jobs, our families Get your friends to- and our attempt to have some gether for a fun and unique happy semblance of a social life. Trying to gure out what to make for dinner night aer hour. Each party includes instruc- night can be a daunting task. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a group of your friends get tion, hands-on experience, tastings together to socialize and learn some new dinner ideas? is is just what Bobbie of a progression of small plates as aims to do with Capers. But, the philosophy behind Capers is more than just following recipes. e goal well as signature cocktails, wine and is to focus on simple food with fresh ingredients that can be prepared in a variety sparkling or at waters. of ways. Once you conquer these techniques, you will be equipped to experiment with various avor combinations that will leave your family satised and begging CELEBRATION COOKING PARTIES for more! Treat your friend or loved one to a Bobbie’s desire is to inspire people to enjoy cooking; to cook more and to make eating a home cooked meal an experience to remember. Her motto is, “Satiated private cooking party for their spe- people are happy people, and happy people make the world a better place!” cial celebration (birthday, anniver- sary, retirement, graduation, etc.). Each party includes culinary in- struction, hands-on experience, tastings of everything you create as well as signature cocktails, wine and sparkling or at waters.
• CREATE YOUR OWN CAPER • Have a special idea of your own? • Contact Bobbie and let her work her magic making your own special caper come to life! • • Party goers learning knife skills at a Capers event 58 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodEATS
Equal Parts Food and Fun “That was indeed super fun. Great friends, fun time and now I’m inspired to try cooking again. Thanks, Bobbie for sharing your awesome cooking knowledge!” -Stephanie Lauridsen Smith
“This event was BEYOND fun! I can’t recommend Capers and Bobbie Ames enough. If you Shannon Smith, Jennifer O’Carroll and Michelle Hubbard at a recent Capers cooking party want a unique and amazing girls’ night, this is it!” TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CAPERS: -Michelle McGrew Hubbard www.cooksandcapers.com www.facebook.com/cookscapers Or email Bobbie at [email protected]
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ADDISON KABOOM TOWN THE CAMPAIGN FOR DALLAS CASA’S CLOSING PHASE OF ABUSED CHILDREN WHEN: Friday, July 3, 5:00pm to CAN’T WAIT Midnight (Gates open at 3:00pm) WHEN: Thursday, July 23, 6:30 to 9:00pm WHERE: Addison Circle Park, 4970 WHERE: PIRCH at NorthPark Center Addison Circle Drive WHAT: Join Dallas CASA as they wind down the Abused Children Can’t Wait Campaign. WHAT: One of the best reworks Entertainment provided by the illustrious Dallas DJ, Mr. Diamond, a silent auction, hors shows in the country as rated by d’oeuvres and beverages will be a part of the evening’s festivities. Forbes and the Travel Channel. COST: Tickets are $50 each Spectacular event choreographed CONTACT: [email protected] to music and simulcast on 100.3 JACK fm. Booths with food and AUGUST beverages including hamburgers, ADDISON SUMMER SERIES hot dogs, barbecue, chicken sand- WHEN: August 1, 8, 15, 22, 29 wiches, cotton candy, ice cream, beer, wine, soft drinks and much more. Concerts on the WHERE: Beckert Park, 5044 Addison Circle, Addison Dos Equis Main Stage and Special Guest Stage will add to the festivities. Fireworks will be WHAT: Enjoy summer evenings under the stars in beautiful Beckert Park. Bring a picnic launched at dusk, or approximately 9:30pm. and listen to live music or dine al fresco at one of the great Addison Circle restaurants. COST: Free CONTACT: Visit http://www.addisontexas.net/events/kaboomtown COST: Free CONTACT: Barbara Kovacevich 972.450.2851 ALL –AMERICAN FOURTH WHEN: Saturday, July 4, 9:30pm SECOND SATURDAYS WHERE: Oak Point Park & Nature Preserve, Plano WHEN: August 1, 8, 15, 22 WHAT: Plano celebrates Independence Day with a fantastic reworks show choreo- WHERE: Historic Downtown McKinney; 111 North Tennessee Street graphed to music and simulcast on 97.5 KLAK. WHAT: Come to historic downtown McKinney and enjoy an evening of art, music and COST: Free CONTACT: 972.941.7250 or visit www.plano.gov wine. Explore the local art galleries, listen to great local and regional talent, and taste some of the area’s best eateries. Many shops in Downtown McKinney will keep their doors DALLAS HERITAGE VILLAGE’S OLD FASHIONED FOURTH open until 10:00pm on Second Saturdays. WHEN: Saturday, July 4, 10:00am to 3:00pm (parade at noon) COST: Free CONTACT: Merry Canter 972.547.2660
60 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodTIMES
will win a football signed by the celebrity host. NORTH TEXAS STATE FAIR AND RODEO COST: Table Sponsorships begin at $3,000. Underwriting op- WHEN: August 21-29 portunities begin at $1,500. WHERE: North Texas State Fairgrounds, 2217 North CONTACT: Tara Null at 972.490.9055 or 214.709.8901 or email Carroll Blvd, Denton [email protected] WHAT: The North Texas State Fair includes rodeos, bar- becue cook-o s, livestock show, commercial exhibits, SEPTEMBER carnival, beauty pageant, creative arts, photography MAD HATTER TEA PARTY contest, children’s art contest and more. Live enter- WHEN: Saturday, September 12, 10:30am to 1:30pm tainment will be provided by Randy Rogers Band, WHERE: Methodist Richardson Medical Center; 2831 E. Presi- Josh Abbott Band, Cody Johnson and approximately dent George Bush Highway 20 other artists. WHAT: Methodist Richardson is hosting a Mad Hatter Tea Party COST: $15 for Adults; $5 for children 7 -12; children under 6 are free. Parking $5. Season to celebrate its new 3D Mammogram technology. Breast cancer survivors and patients pass $90; 4 day pass $40 will be honored as they strut their stu walking down the pink carpet. There will be other CONTACT: 940.387.2632 activities such as hat and goblet decorating, relaxing massages and makeovers. Women are encouraged to wear their most creative and elegant hat – there will be a prize for the THE 22ND ANNUAL FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT NIGHT BENEFITING THE WARREN best one! Dr. Jenevieve H. Hughes, a renowned breast cancer surgeon, will be the special CENTER FOR AUTISM guest speaker. WHEN: Thursday, August 27, 6:00 – 10:30pm COST: The event is free, but online pre-registration is required. Survivors are invited to WHERE: AT&T Stadium, One AT&T Way, Arlington attend as guests of honor and may bring up to three guests. WHAT: The 22nd Annual Fantasy Football Draft Night bene ting The Warren Center for CONTACT: To register, visit info.methodisthealthsystem.org/tea-party-registration Autism is an evening of fun, competition, good food and drink. Participants will draft their own Fantasy Football team and compete in a league of friends and colleagues throughout the NFL season. The Super Bowl Champion of Fantasy Football XXll will win Submit your upcoming events for free two season tickets to the Dallas Cowboys for the 2016 season. Winners of each league at goodlifefamilyMAG.com!
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THE NANCY LIEBERMAN FOUNDATION DREAM BALL GALA APRIL 16
The Nancy Lieberman Foundation’s 2015 Dream Ball Gala was held on April 16, 2015 at Omni Dallas Hotel. The event featured a VIP cocktail reception, dinner, silent auction, enter- tainment by former ESPN host Roy Firestone and live music by Big Joe Walk- er. Guests were greeted by Nancy as they walked down the “red carpet” - or in this case a faux basketball court! A highlight of the evening was the presentation of The Lifetime Achieve- ment Award to Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo. The mission of The Nancy Lieberman Foundation is to use basketball as a motivational tool to provide a healthy physical, emotional and men- tal environment for young girls and boys to build their self-esteem and con dence so they will be able to make the right choices in the future. During the summer, Nancy hosts and coach- es basketball clinics and camps. She hopes that-through positive guidance and helpful in- struction-she can propel the next generation of Nicole Miller and Kimberly Nelon student athletes to success on and o the court. Nancy Lieberman, Tony & Candice Romo Bennet Glazer, Nicki and David Campisi
Nancy Lieberman with Larry Fitzgerald
Amy and Jay Novacek
GENESIS ANNUAL LUNCHEON MAY 5
More than 1,800 people attended the Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support Annual Luncheon on Tuesday, May 5, at the Hilton Anatole. The event featured remarks and a conversation with Maria Shriver, Peabody and Emmy award-win- ning journalist and producer, six-time New York Times best-selling author, former First Lady of California and NBC News special anchor. This year, the Annual Luncheon cele- brated 30 years of ser- vice to women and chil- dren who are victims Lesley Annen, Connie Jan Baldwin, Angela Nash, of domestic violence Kleinert, Ashlee Kleinert, Meredith Camp and also honored the Emily Eisenhauer and newest recipients of the Robin Bagwell Jane Doe Award, the Dallas Morning News and the HeRO Award re- cipient, W.H. Adamson Maria Shriver and High School Athletic Otis Felton and Jan Langbein Director and Football Coach Joshua Ragsdale. Carmaleta Whiteley
62 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES WITH GOOD LIFE FAMILY MAY 28
Over 150 guests stepped onto the red carpet at the swanky north Dallas Starpower showroom to celebrate the launch of Good Life Family magazine. Capers founder and GLF Food & Entertainment Editor, Bobbie Ames, cooked up gourmet fare in one of the live Ed Kellum & Son kitchens. BOSCH chef David Heyen showcased his famous Southern fare, Texas Hills Vinyard o ered a festive array of wines and Cakes a la Mo owner Monica Ofcharik presented a huge array of her famous cake balls. Gary Peto, the creative genious/owner of party décor company Shag Carpet created an 8-foot Martini Bar and a step & repeat that set the perfect backdrop for the festivities.
Event sponsors included Starpower, Star Floors, Ed Kellum & Son, Texas Hills Vineyard, Capers, Cakes A La Mo, Shag Carpet Events and Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. Photos by James Bland. Ann O’Blenes, Jo Lochabay, Jill Johnson, Lisa Raskin
Beth Thompson, Jenn Sha , Lauren Rossley
Sheryl Pidgeon with husband, David, and daughter Jaxie Inez and Rick Seaney
Melissa and Rob Chaiken
Nancy Lieberman with interns from The Nancy Lieberman Foundation
The Good Life Family team - Sonia Black, Account Executive, Melissa Chaiken, Social and Philanthropy Editor,Bobbie Ames, Food and Entertaining Editor, Sheryl Pidgeon, Founder and Editor-In-Chief, Kim Brown, Marketing Manager, Beth Donahue, Creative Director, Tricia White,Managing Editor, Bill Brock, Videographer, Melinda Bogoslavsky, Account Executive, Tracy Bell, Senior Copy Editor Not Pictured: Jenny Wood, School and Education Editor, Michael Tinglin, User Experience Manager, Kendel Ahnell, Digital Magazine Editor, Deborah Leshefsky,Business Oce.
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 63 goodTIMES
27TH ANNUAL CHILDREN’S CANCER FUND LUNCHEON APRIL 17
The signature fundraising event of the Children’s Cancer Fund was held on April 17, 2015 at the Hilton Anatole in Dallas. The event which included a luncheon and fashion show by Dillard’s had over 1000 guests and raised over $425,000 to go toward research for pediatric cancer. Pediatric cancer patients who are treated at Children’s Medical Center served as the mod- els and were escorted by local celebrities including Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach. Children’s Cancer Fund was created 33 years ago by a group of parents whose children were being treated for cancer at Children’s Medical Center.
The young models proudly wearing fashions from Dillard’s.
Young model escorted by former Dallas Cowboy Drew Pearson strut their stu !
Fashion Show Model escorted by WFAA Channel 8’s Alexa Conomos
ZOËS KITCHEN RINGS THE NYSE CLOSING BELL MAY 18
On Monday, May 18, leaders from the fast-casual restaurant Zoës Kitchen traveled to New York City to ring the NYSE Closing Bell to cel- ebrate National Mediterranean Month. Zoës, a fast-casual restaurant concept whose Home O ce is in Plano, Texas, is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. The concept was founded by Zoë and Marcus Cassimus in 1995 in Birmingham, Alabama. Since then, it’s grown to 150 restaurants who all share a mission to Deliver Goodness from the inside out. For the Zoës team, part of living that mission is putting a focus on people rst. Zoës’ General Manager of the Year, Mike Degenhart, and Regional Operator of the Year, Art Acevedo, joined the Zoës Kitchen manage- ment team and their fam- ilies to celebrate the occa- The Zoës Kitchen management team stands on the NYSE podium to ring sion and ring the bell on the Closing Bell on May 18, 2015 in New York City to celebrate National the NYSE stock exchange Mediterranean Month. oor. Follow along as Zoës celebrates their 20th an- Zoës Kitchen COO Jeremy Hartley, General Manager of niversary this summer on the Year Mike Degenhart, Regional Operator of the Year social media: #zoeskitch- Art Acevedo and CEO Kevin Miles celebrate on the oor en #delivergoodness of the NYSE in New York City.
64 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 CHERISH THE CHILDREN LUNCHEON MAY 5 goodTIMES Dallas CASA’s Cherish the Children luncheon hosted over 370 guests and raised in excess of $175,000 at their annual fundraiser. These funds will enable the organization to recruit and train volun- Dallas CASA Board Chair, teer advocates who help ensure that abused and neglected chil- dren are safe, healthy and Greg May and Hannah protected with loving fami- May lies. Guest speaker and au- thor of “Three Little Words”, Ashley Rhodes-Courter re- counted her own journey through the foster system and the di erence a CASA volunteer advocate made in Dallas CASA Executive Director her life. & President, Kathleen M. Christie Carter and Cherish LaValle, Author, Ashley Event Chair Madeline Freberg Rhodes-Courter May
DALLAS JUNIOR FORUM CELEBRATES THE ART OF GIVING APRIL 22
The Dallas Junior Forum’s annual spring fundraiser was held at the Belo Mansion & Pavilion in Dallas on April 22, 2015. The event raised more than $100,000 to fund their service programs that support their partner Agencies through volunteer service and nancial grants for speci c agency needs. These programs include Nourish to Flourish, which has provided over 7200 meals to people in crises; Under Our Wings, a mentoring Diana Melendez, Co-Chair, Vanessa Ho man, President, Vanessa and Gary Ho man program; Child Stars, which partners Dallas Junior Forum, and Renee Parrett, Co-Chair with Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center and Wipe Out Kids’ Cancer; and Golden Friendships that partners with Juliette Fowler Communities that serve the elderly. The luncheon featured Dallas Entrepreneur and Philanthropist, Ashlee Hunt Kleinert, as speaker. Mrs. Kleinert founded Ruthie’s Rolling Food Trucks and co-founded Executives in Action.
CHILDREN’S ADVOCACY CENTER OF COLLIN COUNTY GALA MAY 2
The Children’s Advocacy Center of Col- lin County held their annual gala on May 2, 2015. More than 800 support- ers and friends attended this black-tie a air at the Hilton Anatole in Dallas to support the Center’s e orts in raising critically needed funds that provide essential services to abused children in our community. Gala 2015 was proud- ly presented by Rent-A-Center and featured silent and live auctions and entertainment by the Pointer Sisters. Fairview residents Cathy and Richard Riccardi served as Event Chairs, and Carolyn and Mark Speese Natalie Simmons was the lucky winner of the Lexus rae!
Pointer Sisters with Gala Chairs Cathy and Richard Riccardi
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 65 goodTIMES LIGHT FARMS SCHOOL YARD CELEBRATION APRIL 25
Families enjoyed a day of music, food and fun - dining on upscale versions of their favorite childhood food from award-winning Dallas restaurant, Sissy’s Southern Kitchen, posing for photos in a cool vintage airstream trailer, and all set to the soundtrack of the Prosper HS band, drum line and DJ NEED CAPTION HERE. Korey Mack. Photos courtesy of Destiny Darcy of Bellini Studios.
ROCK THE BLOCK MAY 23
The Jim Utley Foundation held its annual Rock the Block event on May 23, 2015 at Oak Point Park & Nature Preserve in Plano. Runners ran through the scenic park and nature preserve in support of kids saying “NO” to drugs and helping kids live drug free. As they crossed the nish line of either the 1mile Fun Run, 5K run or 10K run, runners were greeted by supporters and continued on to enjoy some food, music and fun. Fox4 Sports Anchor Mike Doocy served as the event’s emcee.
LEIGHTON’S RIDE MAY 16
The 3rd Annual motorcycle ride bene ting Leighton’s Gift was thrilled to raised $7600 on May 16, 2015. With these funds the organize will be able to purchase two additional Webcams for the NICU at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Plano. Leighton’s Gift was created by Chris and Amy Skaggs who had twins, Leighton and Jaxon, born at a little over 28 weeks. Three weeks after their birth, Leighton passed away from Late Onset Group B Strep. Chris and Amy were distraught at the reality that their families were never able to meet Leighton due to the strict rules of the NICU. Their hope is to eventually have all of the NICU beds at Plano Presbyterian connected to an Angel Eye webcam system so that families of these infants can feel more connected to their tiny infant.
Kyle Skaggs, Chris Torbert, Chris Skaggs, Kristi Suddock, Brandy Parker-Rivers, Karen McElwain, Peggy Butler, Rosie Camille, Maria Diaz, Rick Skaggs
JOHN PAUL II HIGH SCHOOL 10TH ANNIVERSARY GALA MARCH 28
John Paul II High School celebrated its 10th anniversary with a spectacular event at Southfork Ranch on March 28. “Deep in the Heart of Texas - Legacy Gala” was a resounding success, as the event raised more than $400,000 for the JPIIHS Tuition Assistance Fund. WFAA’s Ron Corning emceed the festivities, and guests enjoyed a live auction, midway games and prizes, a mechanical bull and armadillo races. The event brought together the chairs of every past JPIIHS auction to (l-r) Matt Boggs, Julie Boggs, Cindy co-chair, including Gina Banister, Mary Beth Berry, Karen Bianchin, Dana DeAngelis, Eve Donovan, Boggs, Rich Templeton, Stephanie Laurie Goacher, Kathleen Tarantino and Mary Templeton. Mary and Rich Templeton were also Templeton, Rich Schiele named Honorary Chairs.
66 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 goodPOINT Gotta Have Girlfriends! Good Morning Texas’ Paige McCoy Smith shares her Girlfriend Goals.
y marriage nearly ended before it began. The problem? In fact, I am com- Girlfriends! I’m not talking about his former ings – I’m mitted to taking these talkingM about MY girlfriends. My husband had an issue with how “Girlfriend Goals” a step much time I spent with my friends and resented the value I put further: into those relationships. I ercely defended my girlfriends, holding onto the old adage 1. CALL to never let a man (no matter how cute he is or how well he danc- I am going to pick es) interfere with your friends. However, there comes a time, usu- up my phone and do ally when you’re walking down the aisle, when that command- what it was originally ment is traded in favor of “for better or for worse”. As a result, designed to do – MAKE A PHONE CALL. Sure a text is short and I didn’t call my friends as often. I begged o from lunch dates sweet, but taking the time to dial a number and have a conver- and declined invitations to movies or parties. I convinced myself sation can be, well, therapeutic! that I didn’t have as much in common with my single friends and focused my energy 2. SEND A CARD “Best friends don’t on deepening my rela- Snail mail has become nostalgic. I don’t know about you, but I tionship with my newly get giddy when I see something in the mail with an actual stamp necessarily have to talk titled husband. Howev- that doesn’t resemble a bill. What a fun way to share some love. every day. They don’t even er, the more I tried to move beyond what I 3. GO TO LUNCH need to talk for weeks. But thought of as “outdated Lunch, happy hour, even a walk in the park or a walk in the when they do, it’s like they relationships”, the more mall. You schedule everything else from mammograms to PTA never stopped talking.” depressed I became. meetings. Use that skill to schedule some girlfriend time! - Anonymous Ironically, my mother, These are three simple things I of all people, saved the can do to ensure my friendships “There’s nothing day. She sat down with are well nurtured. Speaking of better than a friend. my husband and said, “Paige is like a bumble bee. She needs to nurture, I had another friend com- be nourished by many owers in order to survive. Limiting her pare her girlfriends to a vegeta- Unless it’s a friend friendships will kill her spirit.” ble garden: “This year, my tomato with chocolate.” Although I admit being compared to a bumble bee is a lit- plants are doing well; last year - Linda Grayson tle cheesy, it seemed to work. Today, my husband supports my was not as good because I didn’t friendships and encourages me to maintain these special rela- spend enough time caring for my tionships. So I have no excuse (other than work, kids, laziness, garden. You see, a garden cannot magically grow on its own. It and procrastination). It’s pretty pathetic considering we are in needs to be nurtured and tended to.” the information age. After all, how much energy do my ngers I love analogies to make a point or share a perspective. As for really consume when ring o a quick text just letting a friend me, I am plum out of clever comparisons. However, I can say know I care? that all things that have value need to be nurtured in order to I am embarrassed to admit that I have put my friendships be sustained. That goes for bumble bees, tomato plants, and, of on the same line of my to-do list that typically occupies such course, friendships. priorities as organizing my spice rack. But that ends now! My mom was right. The truth is, when I don’t take time with my girl- Until we meet again, friends, my soul is depleted! Me! The bumble bee! I need these friendships, and I would like to think they need me. - Paige PS: Look for me on WFAA Channel 8 Monday through Friday at 9:00 AM!
JOIN OUR FAMILY! Share your thoughts, stories, insights, advice, and yes, even frustrations and failures with Good Life Family. Email Sheryl Pidgeon, [email protected] or any member of the Good Life Family team.
GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2015 67 TAX FREE WEEKEND August 7th–9th
Get back to style and shop back to school at Watters Creek! Don't miss tax free weekend, August 7th–9th. Find the trends you crave and the looks that won't disappoint!
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