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Note: This show periodically replaces their ad breaks with new promotional clips. Because of this, both the transcription for the clips and the timestamps after them may be inaccurate at the time of viewing this transcript. 00:00:00 Music Transition Dark Materia’s “The Picard Song,” record-scratching into a Sisko- centric remix by Adam Ragusea. Picard: Here’s to the finest crew in Starfleet! Engage. [Music begins. A fast-paced techno beat.] Picard: Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the USS Enterprise! [Music slows, record scratch, and then music speeds back up.] Sisko: Commander Benjamin Sisko, the Federation starbase... Deep Space 9. [Music ends.] 00:00:14 Music Music Record scratch back into "The Picard Song," which plays quietly in the background. 00:00:15 Adam Host Welcome to The Greatest Generation: Deep Space Nine. It's a Star Pranica Trek podcast... It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. 00:00:28 Ben Harrison Host I'm Ben Harrison. [Music fades out.] If you hear a saw in the background, that's because somebody has—[laughs]—set up a saw at Adam. 00:00:37 Adam Host It's actually kind of a scary scene. Someone has set up a table saw outside my studio, and then left a note on my desk that says, "The key to stopping the table saw is inside your body." 00:00:51 Ben Host [Laughs.] Don't worry, Adam, you'll pass it soon enough. 00:00:55 Adam Host Yeah. 00:00:56 Ben Host Like you pass everything. [Both laugh.] 00:00:58 Adam Host What Jigsaw didn't realize about choosing me as a victim is that I would shit out a key in less than a 90-minute movie runtime. [Both laugh.] More—[stifles laughter]—more like nine minutes, even! 00:01:10 Ben Host "I shit out keys like this for breakfast!" [Both laugh.] 00:01:14 Adam Host Yeah. Terribly reviewed Jigsaw movie, would be the one where I was the victim. [Both laugh.] "Just not enough suspense!" 00:01:22 Ben Host Yeah. Well, I just went over to the post office to check our PO Box— 00:01:28 Adam Host Mm. 00:01:29 Ben Host —and we have quite a haul here! 00:01:31 Adam Host Thank you for your service, Ben. 00:01:32 Ben Host Yeah, well—and thank you to the people using the post office to send us stuff! Do you wanna do a little mailbag segment? 00:01:42 Adam Host It's our most beloved segment, Ben. Let's do it. 00:01:44 Ben Host [Laughs.] Most beloved by us! 00:01:45 Adam Host [Stifling laughter] Mm-hm! 00:01:46 Music Music Flute music that continues through the clip intro, holding steady at the same two notes. 00:01:47 Clip Clip [Computer chiming.] Riker: Captain, I'm sorry to disturb you. Data: I'm receiving a code 47. Riker: Verify? Data: It is code 47, sir. Starfleet emergency frequency. Troi: Captain's eyes only. 00:01:56 Music Music Flute music rises in pitch, crescendos, and transitions into soft, cheerful keyboard and synth music with some quiet dialogue at intervals that sounds like Picard. 00:01:57 Ben Host Okay. I'm gonna do our customary opening-in-order-of-bigness. 00:02:02 Adam Host It's what our wives did with us, in choosing us! 00:02:05 Ben Host Yeah! [Laughs.] 00:02:07 Adam Host They got married to the biggest last. 00:02:09 Ben Host Right. Um... which I guess since these were both of their first husbands— [Adam laughs.] —that's not good for us. [Laughs.] The first one is a postcard, and, uh... the postcard says, "That sparkle in my eyes is the Internet"? 00:02:28 Adam Host Oh! 00:02:30 Ben Host And it's like a Greek statue of two people with arms around each other. It just says: "To Ben and Adam, Thanks for helping us all get through these crazy times. With love from..." [Sighs.] I don't—I cannot read who the love is from. I'm hoping that the person who's sending us the love will follow up and then text—uh, and email us or Tweet us or something! 'Cause I can't—I can't read their handwriting! 00:02:57 Adam Host Show me! [Both laugh quietly.] "L-Y-R" is what I think those letters are. Lyr! 00:03:04 Ben Host Lyr? Boy. I—I'm not sure if I agree with you, Adam. [Laughs.] I think this could be—they could have signed in, like, Arabic for all I know! It's very hard to read this! [Laughs.] Anyways— 00:03:16 Adam Host Yeah. 00:03:17 Ben Host —thank you for the postcard, anonymous sender. [Adam laughs quietly.] This next one is a—kind of a big envelope-type letter. It's from David C in New Albany, Indiana. 00:03:32 Adam Host Mm! 00:03:33 Ben Host I almost said "Albany." That's not where he's from. He's from New Albany! 00:03:37 Adam Host You don't wanna confuse New Albany with Old Albany. They hate that there! 00:03:41 Ben Host They fixed all the problems with the original. For the reboot. [Packaging is being torn.] 00:03:46 Adam Host Right. 00:03:47 Ben Host They also recast it with women in the leads, and a lot of—that was very controversial. [Adam laughs.] Alright. Let's see. We've got a letter here. "Code 47, captain's eyes only," it says on this letter. 00:04:03 Adam Host Look at that! Hand-drawn! 00:04:06 Ben Host Hand-drawn communicator badge. "Dear Ben and Adam, I was checking out the older Star Trek toys at a local shop back in the Before Times, and found this masterpiece. I couldn't remember if someone had already sent one to you, but if so, now you can both have one. The only downside is that it didn't come with a Captain DeSoto figure. Despite that, I hope you enjoy receiving this as much as I enjoyed learning it was a thing that existed! Keep up the great work. I love listening to both The Greatest Generation and The Greatest Discovery, and really hope you guys decide to do Voyager and Enterprise as well. Listening to your shows is one of the highlights of my week. As I am a truck driver, I have lots of listening time!" 00:04:48 Adam Host How about that! 00:04:49 Ben Host "Riker eyes to credits!" 00:04:51 Adam Host He's got a long way to go and a short time to get there! 00:04:54 Ben Host What he has sent us is something that we do actually have one of, but one that has been on tour with us a lot and is falling apart. It's a mini—uh, Excelsior-class starship mini play set. It's the USS Hood, Adam! 00:05:09 Adam Host That's great. 00:05:11 Ben Host And it's got Riker and Geordi miniature action figures to go with it. I believe that Bill Tilley sent us the other one of these that we have. And— 00:05:19 Adam Host I think so, too. With the way we treat our things on tour, I think it's vital that we have a backup ready to— 00:05:26 Ben Host We—we— 00:05:27 Adam Host —to be field-promoted to stage duty. 00:05:30 Ben Host Redundancy is what we need most of all. This is super cool. 00:05:36 Adam Host David C mentioned something that is stuck in my brains, which is why there isn't a Captain DeSoto action figure! You know, we've seen all the time people that kind of kitbash the action figures and put different heads on different bodies? 00:05:49 Ben Host Sure. 00:05:50 Adam Host Who's got the head that looks most like DeSoto, you think? [Ben laughs.] Like—and I'm talking about across action figure history. 00:05:57 Ben Host Yeah. 00:05:58 Adam Host I bet that exists out there! 00:06:00 Ben Host Oh, yeah. 00:06:01 Adam Host Like, you get sort of a Gene Hackman–looking head— 00:06:02 Ben Host Mm! 00:06:03 Adam Host —and stick it onto Captain Picard body? There's your DeSoto! 00:06:06 Ben Host There's your DeSoto. Yeah! Somebody make that! Thank you, David! 00:06:11 Adam Host Thanks, David. Super cool. 00:06:14 Ben Host Okay. Next, Adam, we have this—this person put this package in a garbage bag, and then completely covered it in shipping tape. 00:06:23 Adam Host I think that's what's known in the shipping industry as "discreet packaging." [Ben laughs.] Ben, you're probably used to getting packages like this. 00:06:30 Ben Host It does have—it does say "Not penis cream" on the outside. [Both chuckle.] 00:06:34 Adam Host Uh-huh. 00:06:35 Ben Host This is from Pedro A in Port Washington, New York.