sign in sign up
<<
Home , Michael Fassbender

SATURDAY, JANUARY 4, 2014

14. ‘Mud’ Sure, everything that came out of ’s blinged-out mouth in “Spring Breakers” was pure gold, but for some reason, Tye Sheridan’s passionate line-reading from “Mud” stands out. You can hear the pain and betrayal in his teenage voice, as well as the sound of broken prom- ises and unmet expectations. It’s a simple line of dialogue from writer-director Jeff Nichols but it packed one hell of a punch.

15. ‘Blackfish’ It was a pretty good year for villains, with The Animals from “You’re Next” giving Michael Fassbender (“”) and Woody Harrelson (“Out of the Furnace”) a run for their money. But for my money, the villain I’d hate to be locked in a dark room with is Tilikum the Whale from the terrifying documentary “Blackfish.” It used to be a dream to go to SeaWorld, but now, it’s a nightmare.

16. ‘Upstream Color’ Even the people who like and defend this movie seem to have no idea what it all means. I don’t need a movie to answer all my questions, or for my cinematic narratives to be tied up with a bow, but this movie doesn’t make a lick of sense and Shane Carruth’s refusal to explain it is that much more frustrating. This self-distributed art house sen- sation is more “art” than “movie.”

17. ‘World War Z’ Remember when the press wrote off this zombie epic 24. ‘American Hustle’ great about his nearly wordless performance? Stick me on a sight unseen, months before its release? Well guess what - I’ll bet most of you didn’t see Melissa Leo’s villainy in boat all alone in the Indian Ocean and I could deliver an it was actually pretty damn good. Definitely one of the bet- “Prisoners” coming, but the scene that truly “got me” was approximation of Redford’s work here. I was actually sur- ter summer blockbusters. got to flex his movie when Victor Tellegio’s () attorney, Alfonse prised at how calm Redford played it considering his plight star muscle and Marc Forster delivered some hair-raising Simone (Paul Herman), is revealed to be the cold cuts king of here, and didn’t even buy it when he did let out that single sequences of zombie mayhem. I’m not sure Paramount Long Island. Say what? That was some Keyser Soze shit right swear word in frustration. I understand that the Academy was always confident, but the studio played its cards right there! may look to reward him for an incredible career that often and the film ended up making enough money to merit a went unappreciated by critics, but his performance in “All Is sequel. 25. ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Lost” is not worthy of an Oscar nomination. The competition J.J. Abrams’ mystery box approach has grown stale. is too strong and other contenders merit closer considera- 18. ‘Phil Spector’ Instead of playing games with his audience, the director tion. Sure, this is technically cheating since it aired on HBO, should’ve been upfront regarding his villain’s true identity in but what are you going to do? Shoot me? As much as the weeks leading up to the release of this sorry sequel. 31. ‘A.. Backwards’ deserves this for shaving his head and giving Instructing actors to lie about their roles doesn’t strike me as Maybe it was the altitude, but I laughed my a.. off at the a dynamite performance from beneath a horrifying comb- the best way to build trust with your customers. I don’t Sundance premiere of Chris Nelson’s comedy, which found over in “American Hustle,” Pacino’s hair was off the hook in know a single person on Earth who was surprised by this longtime collaborators June Diane Raphael and Casey this movie. It was in the Tyson Zone, where you have no reveal, but maybe they were in other galaxies. Who knows Wilson starring in an estrogen-soaked riff on “Dumb and idea what to expect but aren’t surprised either way. (besides everyone)? Dumber.” “The Heat” got all the headlines this year but these two comediennes came damn close to upstaging their A-list 19. ‘Upstream Color’ and ‘Ain’t Them Bodies Saints’ 26. ‘Side Effects’ counterparts. Give the first two minutes a chance and if they There’s a quiet beauty to David Lowery’s directorial Who is the warmest color? While the trenchcoat crowd make you smile then stick around. If not, then clearly we debut but don’t watch it if you’re remotely tired, because gathered to witness a gratuitous nine-minute love scene have very difference senses of humor. like a good lullaby, it’ll have you drifting off to sleep before that garnered reams of ink this year, the sexiest kiss in 2013 you even realize it. belonged to two other women entirely, and we’re not talk- 32. ‘ and Scarlett’ ing about “Passion” stars Rachel McAdams and Noomi Johansson, “Her” While I missed my chance to see 20. ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ Rapace. No, it was the sight of Rooney Mara smooching old- shtupping a car in “,” Spike Rosario Dawson’s plays a legitimate plot point in Danny er woman Catherine Zeta-Jones in ’s the- Jonze’s love story proved that phone talk is still in vogue in Boyle’s “Trance,” but no nudity made us sit up and take atrical swan song that really got our blood pumping. the future. Jonze treats the audience to a little foreplay notice like the Duchess of Long Island in “The Wolf of Wall when an uncredited Kristen Wiig asks Joaquin Phoenix to Street.” Between her gorgeous face, Margot Robbie could 27. ‘August: Osage County’ choke her with a cat, but things get much more serious - launch more ships than Helen of Troy. Robbie made for an The scene in “The Butler” where Oprah calls David when Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson consummate their absolutely stunning screen siren, and the fact that she Oyelowo’s new girlfriend a “no-class ho” was close to win- relationship with this romantic scene that plays with the could actually hold her own against the great Leonardo ning this one, but there’s no competition when Meryl Streep sense of sound rather than touch. DiCaprio indicated that we’ll be seeing her for years to is firing off barbs against her family. The dysfunction on dis- come. play here actually made me appreciate my own family more. 33. , ‘Stoker’ The masturbation scene stopped this movie dead in its 21. ‘Crystal Fairy’ 28. ‘VHS 2’ tracks and elicited laughs from an audience that wasn’t I couldn’t call this worst love scenes because Gaby Gareth Evans and Timo Tjahjanto delivered the year’s quite sure what to make of it at Sundance. Sure, female sex- Hoffman is still cool, but I don’t think guys will be wearing most visceral slice of horror and the only needed twenty- uality often gets the short shrift on the big screen, but this out the pause button on this Blu-ray for years to come. something minutes to do it. An inside look at a crazy cult awkward scene did it no favors. with an incredible ending, this was one nightmare that was 22. ‘Mistaken For Strangers’ unforgettable in all the best ways. 34. ‘The Hangover Part III’ Sure, Christian Bale and were terrific In a surprising upset over the cat from “Inside Llewyn together in “Out of the Furnace,” while the four leads in 29. ‘Gravity’ Davis” and the goldfish Jonah Hill ate in “The Wolf of Wall “Lone Survivor” might as well have been brothers given Alfonso Cuaron’s space opera was a dazzling technical Street,” this magnificent creature’s long neck proved its their unbreakable bond, but seeing The National singer achievement and an eye-popping thrill ride from start to fin- downfall thanks to Zach Galifianakis’ reckless driving in this Matt Berninger and his roadie brother Tom was heart- ish, but how much credit belongs to Bullock? Granted, the lackluster sequel. The giraffe’s priceless reaction shot was breaking, thought-provoking and ultimately relatable. actress is saddled with some truly embarrassing dialogue, used as the kicker in the trailer, which may have foreshad- but she never really sold me on her fear. “Oh God, no. No. owed the trouble to come. 23. ‘Oblivion’ No. God, no.” That was more or less the entirety of her dia- There’s no denying the power of Lana del Rey’s “Young logue, no? Bullock isn’t bad in “Gravity,” but I preferred her 35. ‘Gangster Squad’ and Beautiful” ballad from “The Great Gatsby,” but this work in “The Heat,” in which she challenged her image as Penn chewed so much scenery that the production majestic track simply soared, even during the closing cred- America’s Sweetheart. designer nearly quit the film. Between “Elyisum” and its of Tom Cruise’s latest sci-fi spectacle. When paired with “Oldboy,” Sharlto Copley tried his hardest to win this Joseph Kosinski’s gorgeous visuals, no song burned as 30. ‘All Is Lost’ award but alas, his villains were no match for Mickey bright in 2013. Redford was solid, don’t get me wrong - but what was so Cohen. — Reuters