'^Op in io n / Ed it o r ia l ' A rts & Leisure A Dr. Love and spring fever Elliot Smith jams solo in DC Sp o r t s V y ^ y Timmins Society Baseball and honors Coionei Lacrosse still In Genby late season slump Wbt C ab et $ 1 . 0 0 VOLUM E XC Friday, 24 April 1998 Num ber 24 VMI Names White as New Athletic Director ' 6 5 a l u m Vews Bi"iefs TVack and Field Takes Southern Conference Title rallies fo r National ••••••••• c o r p s ' ^ WASHINGTON - Hunter Scott, a 12-year-old seventh-grader from Pensacola, Fla, researched the s u p p o r t worst U.S. naval disaster for a school project and found what he says is evidence that the history books are Press Release wrong about the sinking of the USS Pubiic Reiations Office Indianapolis. The heavy cruiser was torpedoed in 1945 by the Japanese, VMI superintendent Major Gen­ resulting in the death of all but 31S eral Josiah Bunting announced of its 1,916 crewmen. Scott says he Wednesday that Donald T. White hasf has evidence that Rear Admiral been selected as the Institute’s new Di­ Charles B. McVay 111 was “wrongly rector of Intercollegiate Athletics. court-martialed” for negligence in White will assume his duties July 1. the sinking. Scott is now lobbying Brigadier General Mike Bozeman, members of Congress for legisla­ who has served as interim athletic di­ tion to clear McVay’s name. rector since January 8, will continue in that role until June 30. . NASHVILLE, Tenn. - James A former VMI cadet-athlete, Earl Ray is in a coma, his kidneys coach and faculty member. White re-t haveshut down and doctors have turns to the Institute af\er six successn given the confessed assassin of Mar­ fill years as athletic director at Patrick tin Luther King Jr. just days to live, Henry High School in Ashland, VAi his brother Jerry said Wednesday. White guided the school’s athletic pro­ Ray has been in critical condition gram to unprecedented achievement since he was admitted to Nashville both on and off the field and led the Memorial Hospital Monday, but of­ efforts to improve funding and facili­ ficials have refused to comment ties for the school’s athletic program. Jerry Ray said the doctor thinks “it White compiled a distinguished could be a few days.” James Earl VMI coaching career in two sports Ray confessed to killing King, but spanning 15 years. Hejoined the foot­ has been trying ever since to recant The VMI Track and Field team took first place in the Southern Conference last Saturday.. Full story on page 4. ball staff of BobThalman in 1971 as a ' and get a new trial. defensive backfield coach and helped lead the Keydets to two Southern Con­ WASHINGTON - One of ference Championships and a state five Americans don’t know or aren’t Secretary Marsh Speaks to Career Symposium championship in 1977. White coached sure Jews were killed in the Holo­ the defensive backs to a number one caust - or that it happened in World Anderson Owen______national ranking in 1975 and number War II - according to a survey com­ four ranking the following season. He missioned by a museum dedicated News Writer served as VMI co-defensive coordina­ to telling the story of its victims. But As fewer cadets are taking com­ tor from 1976 to 1981 and had the the Holocaust Memorial Museum missions and choosing to make their own Southern Conference’s top-ranked de­ took heart Wednesday in findings mark on the business world, tliere has fense in 1977. White also recruited that showed a large majority of been an increasing concem that VMI has seven football players who were se­ Americans want to learn more about prepared cadets more for the military side lected All-Conference. Nazi Germany’s murderous cam­ of life. This week VMI held the first an­ In the fall of 1981, White be­ paign in hopes of preventing future nual career symposium. The purpose of came VMI head baseball coach and genocide the career symposium, which was estab­ began to resurrect a program that had lished by Jolm W. and Jane M. Roberts not won a Southern Conference game World Fund, is to enhance free enterprise edu­ the three previous years. His 1982 de^ cation at VMI through programs such as but squad compiled six league jwns and White was named Southern Con­ WASHINGTON - A French the one this week. ference Co-Coach of the Year. His military officer met secretly with ac­ The key-note speaker for the sym­ teams won 85 games in six years and cused Bosnia war criminal Radovan posium was the Honorable John O. his 1987 squad reached the Southern Karadzic last summer, forcing a can­ Marsh, Jr. Mr. Marsh served as the Sec­ Conference championship game. cellation of a U.S. and NATO mili­ retary of the Army from 1981 to 1989, While serving as a baseball coach, tary operation to capture the former the longest tenure of any Secretary of White also taught on the Physical Edu­ Bosnian Serb president. American Army in United States history. In 1990, cation staff as an assistant professor,. officials reportedly believed the the Virginia Press Association awarded White entered private business French officer may have leaked plans Mr. Marsh the Virginian of the Year in 1987, but returned to the full-time about the raid to the fugitive leader, award. Currently Mr. Marsh serves as Secretaiy Marsh addresses cadets and faculty in Jackson Memorial Hall athletic ranks in 1992 when he ac­ Endangering the troops involved. partner in a law firm and in his free time cepted the athletic director position at French officials acknowledged the teaches a course bn ethics at VMI. Marsh spoke about three people when things went well he used such pro­ Marsh also stated that all men Patrick Henry. White supervised all meetings, but said the officer was op­ Tuesday night, Mr. Marsh spoke throughout l.istory whom exemplify nouns as “we.” Marsh said that when with character have a sense of convic­ areas of the Patriot athletic prograih erating on his own and later was to several faculty members and cadets. “Character,” George Washington, Rob­ men arc given to reason intellect, men tion held by deeply rooted beliefs along and helped improve facilities, season transferred. A spokesman for the The subject of his speech revolved ert E. Lee and George Marshall. intellectually honest, always give credit with a sense of duty and ticket sales and booster club member­ French Defense Ministry said Thurs around ethics and character. Mr. Marsh When George Washington died to others when things go right and use courage(physical and moral). Marsh ship. The football program reached the day that the meetings did not com­ spoke about his first vote in Congress, the British fieet lowered-their flag in “we,” when they go wrong use “1.” said that “Character is a razor edge’. He ranks of the state’s elite, winning 57 promise the effort to capture a friend by the last name of Swanson, respect, because he was a man of great VMl’s most distinguished alum­ stated, that we need men that have a of 65 games, five district titles, four Kairadzic. who made the suggestion to him that character; “our legacy of Washington nus is of course George Marshall; moral compass and lead us into the fu­ he calls the” Swanson rule of ethics - is his character.” Marsh said that Wash­ Marsh said that Marshall’s greatest ture. Me attributed programs such as this regional titles, a state runner-up tror phy and the state AAA, Division 5 PARIS - The French parlia­ when in doubt do the right thing.” He ington never made the same mistake achievement was the “Marshall Plan” symposium as helping to make a differ­ championship in 1994. ment Wednesday voted in favor of said that ethics prevents violence in the twice, and because of his great charac­ and because of his character he was ence. He is a 1965 graduate of VMI adopting Europe’s new single cur­ market place and prevent chaos. Mr. ter he was able to shape our country. able to sell his plan. Marsh, also stated Next year the program hopes to rency, although conservative law­ Marsh said that VMI has been teach­ According to-Marsh, Robert E. that in the Pentagon on a wall in the invite many corporations to talk to ca­ with a B.S. degree in Civil Engineer­ makers from President Jacques ing ethics since 1839; “We have an Lee was perhaps the greatest military Marshall Corridor there is an excerpt dets about various fields of business. ing. As a cadet, he was a distinguished military student, named Who's Who in Chirac’s party abstained. The non­ advantage, we have been trained in commander of all time. When things from the words of Marshall himself; This will give cadets more insight into American Colleges and Universities binding resolution passed easily by those things that train character.” Mr. went wrong he said “it was my fault” and “VMI shaped my character.” their future job market expectations.. and was awarded the Pres Brown Ath­ a vote of 334-49. Leaders of the 15 European Union nations will meet in letic Cup for Excellence. White co­ early May to officially announce the captained the 1964 VMI football team idOw Turnout for Bloodmobile and was selected All-Southern Confer­ 11 countries expected to take part in the single euro currency, which will DeHon Lowery be given. If he only gets a regular ence in baseball for three consecutive debut in January. Members of weekend that he can’t use because he years as a shortstop while also leading News Writer the team in batting. He was inducted Chirac's Rally for the Republic has Penalty Tours to march, he said, The April American Red Cross (RPR) party worry that the currency “I’d be pretty perturbed.” into the VMI Sports Hall of Fame in Blood Drive took place in the 400 level will undermine French sovereignty. Colonel James Joyner ’67, 1975. of Lejeune Hall last Tuesday through Commandant, said it is really difficult After graduation from VMI, Thursday and received an unusually to decide on an appropriate reward for White was commissioned as a field ar- Eastern Europe is set to be­ .t low turnout of Cadets and Faculty, ac­ come “one of the next epicenters” of “people who give a little something tillery officer in the U.S. Army and cording to Volunteer Coordinator Ella the world AIDS crisis, a report by of themselves.” He is happy there are served a tour of duty in Vietnam. His Gay Potter. She said the first two days the United Nations AIDS program still cadets who are dedicated to "self­ decorations include the Bronze Star, were "terrible” and did not fulfill the says. HIV infection rates there have less service” to the community. Purple Heart and Air Medal with fouf quota of 100 pints per day, producing increased at least sixfold since Potter said she is still “pleased, oak leaf clusters. only 57 and 85 pints. Thursday went a 1994,climbing from 30,000 in 1994 every pint is worth a lot.” The dona­ “I am thrilled to have the oppor­ little better because people were wait- ' to nearly 200,000 today, most in the tions are taken to the Roanoke Blood tunity to be a leading role on the ‘One ing till the last day, but they still will Bank and the Red Cross is able to big team,’ said White on his hiring. “I( Ukraine. The UNAIDS report blames „ ... fall short of 300 pints. She added, “if a thriving drug subculture that has separate whole blood into components is certainly a position I have been in­ we had five days, 1 think they’d wait A disappointing number o f cadets get their veins' tapped sharply increased fhe Use o such as red blood cells and plasma. terested in because that Is what 1 want till the 5*^ day.” The numbers by class, unsterilized needles. Many of the in­ Because of this, she noted, “every pint to do. 1 feel that VMl’s real strength with one hour left, has the Class o f ’99 about the reason for the low turnout, fected are young, the report says. those donors, Third Classman Anthony afTects at least 3 lives.” In respect to is th^ bond that all of the VMI family with the most donors at 81 followed but did know one factor could be that J. Gagliardi, gave blood because he the privileges. Potter said, “we’re not shares and it is that strength that we'll News brtefk are compiledfrom the by the Class o f’01 with 71 participants. a restriction-free weekend was not go­ likes to, but was under the assumption rewarding you for giving blood, we’re use to pursue success on the athletic VSA Ibday web site. Potter did not want to comment ing to be granted to donors. One of that a restriction-free weekend would saying thank you.” field.”

A Opinion Editors staff James E. Duncan Shane Finley Jason Fye Nathan Pierpoint

24 April 1998 Cabet Page 2 Cabet Dr. Love's Springtime Suggestions VMI VIOLATING Lascivious lout lectures on life, love, loss; RELIGIOUS ^taff lodges lengthy list for lovestruck libertines EmTQR-lN-CHliKF FREEDOM UcM Kincaid EJ. lannelli a .speedo or bikini. You’re not going Don’t squeeze into tight shorts or to attract anyone looking like a skimpy sweatgear if you happen to John Morgan Business Manai>cr Associate Editor girdled whale. displace 20 pounds of cellulite. Con­ propriate than a necklace. Let tlie cadet Jake Hughes Arts & Leisure Editor The trees are sprouting leaves, 2. Spring Formals; They’re a sult suggestion #1 for further clarifi­ have is own individuality, a word VMI Eiccutlvc Editor the flowers arc in full bloom, and the waste... a waste of time, money, and cation. During a recent Pub Board din­ always tries to run away from. • ■. Adam Schwar/child sun shines brighter and remains effort. Enjoy a good laugh while the 7. Perspiration: The more you ner 1 was sitting across from one par­ Ironically enough, at the same Advcrtisinu MHUngvr above the horizon longer. Even that sorority girls scurry about the campus sweat, the more clothes you can re­ ticular Rat who was wearing a red brace­ time cadets are being threatened with Marshall Luck - Adair Ciraham familiar springtime scent is back. It green like rodents in search ofthat spe­ move without castigation. Once again, let on his wrist. 1 thought nothing of penalties for wearing visible religious wafts beneath my nostrils on a gentle cial fratboy who’ll boost their popu­ refer to suggestion #1. Don’t take off the bracelet, but thouglit 1 would ask him Associate Editor jewelry, prayer goes on in tlie Mess Hall zephyr... your shirt if people might confuse you anyway about its significance. He told Kric lanncili larity among their shallow peers. Let niglitly. Now, 1 am an Episcopalian, and ...nevermind, that’s just the all the pretentious fools fmd their lost with Shamu, or if you have a hairy back me that it was a “What Would Jesus have been raised that way since day one. garbage rotting in dumpsters outside identities in the latest function support­ [See suggestion #8]. Do,” bracelet. I understood exactly, but Worth Burns I try and attend church as much as pos­ my window. ing the Greek alphabet, while you 8. Body Hair: Men, shave for those who do not, it represents a sible, and consider myself a devote News & Features Editors It’s true, though. Spring has re­ spend your time more productively, your backs and shoulders. There is subtle reminder in situations in life to Christian. But if VMI is not allowing Jeremy Obcnchain turned to our peaceful lives. Unfor­ such as watching Love Boat reruns. nothing more repulsive than a remember what Jesus would have done. subtle religious bracelets, why does it IScYYS Staff tunately, the ingress of a milder and 3. Flowers: Pick ‘em while hairshirt. Women, 1 know it was fun Although I would never personally wear allow nightly prayer at dinnertime. It Anderson Owen more temperate clime has brought they’re fresh and you can save a few wearing pants all winter long, but it’s a “What Would Jesus Do,” bracelet on seems to me that VMI is being a slight Steve Niciiols other assorted baggage, like the re­ bucks at the florist. Present them to time to break out the Lady Bic and my arm, 1 feel as though tliis Rat has hypocrite for doing so. Where is the Ben Murray vival of I'amoiir. your object of affection. If you’re rid yourself of that unsightly leg hair. the Constitutional right to wear it if he administration that was threatening to Deiton Lowery Do you feel it? The ol’ survival currently holding a grudge, let them 9. C ar Radios: As loud as hu­ chooses to do so. Unfortunately, others bone an innocent Rat now? • .. Dale Durlach instincts are kicking in. Mating sea­ wilt and turn brown, then present manly possible. Draw attention to here at VMI believe differently. Perhaps religion should be a vi­ Tab Stump son is nearly upon us, beckoning our them to the object of your affection. yourself. There’s nothing that makes It wasn’t until this same Rat told tal part of education, perhaps not? But most primal urges to rear their ugly 4. Sunglasses: Now’s the time a spring morning more fulfilling than me he was almost boned for wearing 1 do not feel VMI should threaten to Qplnigp Editors heads. The pheromones surge to choose the right specs. I hate to hearing a classic tune destroyed while this subtle bracelet that 1 was truly penalize anyone who is comfortable James E. Duncan through our veins, tiny chemical re­ break it to some of you, but the Ter­ Puff Daddy mumbles about how shocked. He told me that he was repri­ wearing a particular religious emblem. Jason Fye ceptors in our brains are ringing in minator look faded out in the 80s, and wonderful he is at full volume. On a manded for the bracelet, and told that What about the Chaplain or Doc the customary seasonal alarm. Sports Editor the only reason Schwarzenegger got more serious note, remember that the he would be boned if he wore it again. Monsour? They both wear a cross on Mike Violette Awake from your winter hibernation, away with it in the first place is be­ volume of the bass on your car ste­ WHAT? Who at VMI has the power to their uniform that is quite visible, and 1 ye sleepy libertines! The hour of cause he could take on half the foot­ reo is inversely proportional to your ban religious bracelets, especially some­ dare say that they have never been'pe­ Arts & Leisure Editor passion is at hand once again! ball team in a brawl. Put the wrap­ IQ. thing as noble as a “What Would Jesus nalized for doing so. John Stroek And with the change in cli­ around Star Trek mirrored lenses 10. A Good Book: Even if Do,” bracelet? No one does, not even VMI cannot take both sides of the John Morgan mate, Dr. Love crawls from his frosty away and shop for some real glasses. you’re illiterate, have a friend select the Commandant’s staff. No one should issue, and try and please everyone. isolation and joins the rest of the The same goes for the John Lennon a novel that makes you look some­ be trying to play God around here. We’re working against ourselves when Ilumor Editor madding crowd. Me has asked me to look. Unless you’re searching for a what studious. Read it (or at least Currently at VMI, many cadets we tell cadets they cannot wear visible The General allosv him use of this venue as a Yoko One lookalike, hide the blue pretend to) in a conspicuous place wear enormous watches with huge religious emblems, and then recite means for advising our species on oval spectacles under your bed. and be sure that passersby can see the Velcro bands. They are no less eye- prayer at dinner. The true solution is to how to handle the post-winter blos­ 5. Scenic Drives: Buy a con­ title. If an interested party confronts threatening tlian the subtle “What Would be open-minded, another phrase that Chris Jackson soming. As usual, 1 agreed to offer vertible Mustang and cruise the coun­ you about the subject matter, use big Jesus Do” bracelet. Still, cadets are al­ VMI likes to forget about too of^en Chris Copenhavcr him the opportunity. tryside with your latest flame and the words and invent something about lowed to wear these watches. Cadets enough. 1 say that if it is religious, let James Peng Here’s what he had to say: top down. Better yet, buy a classic religion or quantum mechanics. are also allowed to wear religious neck­ the cadet wear it. No one wants any Dan Smith I. Battling Suits; If you can’t car instead. Who wants to own a car I hope everyone finds this in­ laces as long as they hang under the T- Virginia Militia officer trying to talfe Brent Taylor fit into them, don’t buy them. Seri­ that 90% of the population already formation to be quite useful. 1 had shirt. Does it matter if a cadet chooses away moral views or Constitutional ously. There’s nothing worse than owns, like Mustangs? asked Dr. Love to offer some closing a bracelet rather than a necklace? That rights. And if we arc going to pray in Systems Operation Managers enjoying a pre-summer stroll along 6. Exercisc: Work out in pub­ remarks, but he’s too busy shopping soimds a little absurd to me. We all look the Mess Hall...well, that is fine wifli Don Evans the beach and watching a group of lic places. Members of the opposite for a Mustang and a new swimsuit. different. We all like different things. me, but don’t be surprised when one Adair Graham humanoid hippopotami frolic in the sex simply adore people who appear Enjoy the weather and Happy And to some, a bracelet standing for cadet, and it will only take one, decid^ surf. Obesity = baggy sweatsuit, not ®l)t Cnbet, student newspaper ol to be fitness-minded. H'arning - Mating. “What Would Jesus Do,” is more ap­ that his rights are being violated. t the Virginia Military Institute, was established in the Fall of 1907 and M uddle America / Gorrell & Brookins has been continued since that time More Stellar Ideas from Our Our newspaper is published every Friday evening during the aca­ demic year at The Daily News I'M^iCXAKXn-mE Leader in Staunton, except during Beloved Administration _ WAy7HEMB?|A|5 Corps trips, holidays, and exam periods. A yearly subscription is Todd Kennedy claiming to want to fix. Joyner the women that chose to come here? $20.00 on post and $25.00 off post points to the fact that it used to be a I’m not saying long hair, but is shoul­ tibr CalrtI offices are located on the Editorial Apprentice first class privilege to pick your der length hair that can be pulled un­ third floor of Maury Brooke Hall Two recent announcements by roommates, but a lot of things ‘used derneath a shako asking too much? Thank you for your support, the administration concerning next to be,’ and the admin has selective Even at the beginning of the year, dljt CnbrI year’s third class, only go to prove memory concerning VMI traditions. when 1 was irate over the length of VMI Box 7 how out of hand the admin has got­ They seem to only remember what the female rats’ hair, 1 assumed that Virginia Military Institute ten. The first plan, announced by suits them. they would be allowed to grow it out Lexington, Virginia 24450-0304 Colonel Joyner, concerns members of But, the real reason behind this to a decent length after Breakout! the Class of 2001 being forced to live The purpose of the ratline is to make E-mail: [email protected] idea is not really any concern for Postal Number: USP654-880 within companies next year. The sec­ class unity anyway. The real prob­ us all the same, and that is why the ond announcement concerned female lem lies behind lack of room on the hair should have been the same then, Main Office cadets being forced to abide by the third stoop when overfiow rats are but af\er the ratline we are all allowed (540)463-3537 same hair standards as men. forced to live there. The admin is to show a certain amount of individu­ Under Joyner’s plan, the third only trying to puff smoke to cover ality. By making them keep ex­ Facsimile class would be allowed to pick room­ their own mistake of continuing to tremely short hair are we not just be­ (540) 463-5679 mates only within their companies accept too many rats. Although one ing vengeful over a Supreme Court rather than the usual ‘at-large’ man­ decision that these women had noth­ A Visit to the Spin Doctor The Cadet Newspaper is an educa­ would think that they would have fig­ Courtesy of the USBIC Educational Foundation 800-767-2267 tional joumal published weekly by ner. The commandant says that the ured out simple math by now, admis­ ing to do with? The Daily News Leader, main reason behind this plan is to sions continues to accept more fresh­ The administration has P.O. Box 59 Staunton, VA 24402. “build class unity.” Joyner also men every year, and we quickly run amazed cadets since the ‘1’ was Periodicals postage paid at stated that he’s worried about cliques out of room on the fourth stoop. But, founded, and I guess they always ______Lexington, VA______forming outside of class boundries is it fair to punish thirds every year will, but it’s h::rd to explain people based on “shared interests.” Would from now on because the admin is that claim to love this school, but he prefer that we make no friends more worried about tuition money watch our rat system be watered outside of our own classes? Third than the well being of the school? down to nothing, and refuse to do Editor's class year is when cadets tradition­ The other recent announce­ anything about it. Next, they de­ ally get to know their BR’s, and class ment is that female cadets will have cide to make needless changes that unity is formed. But the fourths al­ to keep their hair as short as their only make matters worse. Oh well, Notes ready know Iheir BR’s in their own male counterparts.' Let me first say at least the admin is good at lying companies, so isn’t now the time to that 1 too was adamantly against the to the press to make us look good tC(ie CabEt "Editorial and allow them to meet the rest of their admission of women to VMI (1 in front o f the public, and as Jimmy Opinion" section is intended class? This ‘plan’ of the admin will even considered quitting over sum­ Duncan says, “at least we look to provide a venue for our only work to hurt what they are mer). But why needlessly punish good in parade!” readers to express any ideas and or arguements pertain­ Suliscribe to Caliet! ing to VMI. All letters to the Editor and columns in To have tTIjf Cabtt delivered weekly for only $25.00 off post or $20.00 on post, fill out the form below and mail it to: The Cadet, Attn: Circulation Editor, VMI Box 7, Lexington, VA 24450-030 this section express views held by the authors and do not reflect the opinion of I Name:- tE()e Pallet or its Editorial I staff. We reserve the right I more Street Address: ____ I to edit for clarity and taste. I Please fax letters to; City: .State: Z ip : I (540)463-5679 I See Ben• .. . - ■ ■ : j or send tliem to: Home Phunc: -Business Phone: I Editorial Editor I VMI Box 7 c-mail: I in Rm. 222 Lexington, VA I 24450-0304 I or E-mail at Please make all checks payable to The VMI Cadet. Subscription rates are $20.00 on post and $25.00 off post. I VMICADET(@VMI.EDU After January 1st of the current school year, subscription costs are $10.00 on post and $15.00 off post I more _____ I i \ 24 April 1998 Caitet Page 3 Feeling De-Pressed Jaion FVe______Clinton was the governor of Arkan­ who betray others. It consists of be­ sas when he allegedly showed her his ing chewed up in the mouth of Satan EdHorlal Editor “political agenda" in a Little Rock for eternity. Frankly, I think she I’ve spent the past two hotel. Three, count ‘em, THREE looks like the nastiest piece of gum A MINl/TBAAN.... weeks enjoying the Spring weather, YEARS LATER, Clinton is Presi­ on the planet, but I definitely think Ptn’ IM A LOT walking the land, finding myself. dent and Ms. Jones decides to go the punishment fits the crime. $LOWS? SINCE THEY IMF05EPTHAT These activities were so enlightening public with her story of heartache On today’s front page raged the $even-pay waiting ■w that writing cynical editorials seemed and emotional turmoil. Apparently, bipartisan argument on who was try­ PERIOP AND PEFINEO MY RIFIEA^AN ILLE6AL V far too uncouth. I was so caught up the heartache and emotional turmoil ing to be tougher on the tobacco in­ WEAPON I in the beauty of the season and frol­ had been conveniently repressed dustry. Read and chuckle: “’In or­ icking naked through fields of wild- waiting for just the right time to der to understand what’s happened flowers that my mind had been clear spring forth. What the heck, he’s with teen smoking, this is not com­ and brightly ensconced in the revelry only the leader of the free World, plicated. It has nothing to do with of blessed Springtime. However, right? Joe Camel,’ Gingrich said. More having read the paper to catch up on Back here in the present, she’s than that...were movies including lost time, I’m over all that now. To willing to continue to drag her fam­ “Titanic” that depict smoking in a hell with everything and everybody. ily through this whole personal ordeal glamorous light." And Clinton’s I’m a faithful reader of the of hers, from which she can gain brilliant rebuttal: “Teen smoking newspaper. It’s so full of general in­ nothing, but personal satisfaction in has everything to do with Joe formation on the state of things that the thought that she was able to ap­ Camel, with unscrupulous market­ 1 could just spit. Take the report that ply the primary stain to Clinton’s ing campaigns that prey on the in­ came out saying an asteroid was go­ Presidency. What an admirable goal. securities and dreams of our chil­ ing to hit Earth in the year 2028 kill­ What an unselfish patriot. dren.” Followed by Senate Major­ ing everyone. Being the sort to be­ Then there’s Linda Tripp. ity Leader Thomas Daschle: “1 lieve everything I read, 1 ran from my Geez, what a winner. A headline in think the Republican leadership has room tearing at my clothing and the Monday paper read, “Attorney to make a decision-whether they’re •mANK6,JUP(iE WRIGHT. screaming at the top of my lungs in Says Ti-ipp Has Been Vilified, Fears for Joe Camel or whether they’re W l... panic until I finally passed out half Loss of Job”. 1 present for your for the kids of the United States of ^EXy RDPE YOU'RE ' naked in the middle of the parade reading pleasure the first para­ America who are looking to us for WEAWNCr, THERE! ground. The next day they said they graph: “An attorney for Linda R. leadership on tobacco policy. Newt were wrong, no asteroid, everything Tripp, whose secret tape recordings Gingrich seems to be hinting that he’s was going to be A-OK. Boy, did 1 triggered the investigation into more on Joe Camel’s side.” feel stupid. Monica Lewinsky’s alleged affair First of all, I doubt there arc a On a lighter note, recently, with President Clinton, said yester­ lot of kids who dream about cigarette the rampant libido of Paula Jones was day that his client ha been unfairly smoking camels. Second, 1 believe informed by a female judge in Arkan­ labeled a “betrayer” and now fears the real issue just went from curbing sas that she/it had no case against the being fired from her job in the Pen­ teenage smoking to the new, more President’s rampant libido. Upon tagon.” pressing issue of who is or isn’t a Joe hearing the news, Ms. Jones pulled Why on Earth would someone Camel groupie on Capitol Hill. her car over to the side of the road who sccretly taped a private conver­ Third, Sadam Hussein and the rest of and started crying. I really felt her sation with her Wend and then turned his Middle Eastern ilk are watching pain. It almost moved me to take vio­ that tape over to the authorities in on CNN the same headlines we’re lin-lessons so I could record myself order to make public a possible Presi­ reading in the papers and they’re roll­ playing “My heart bleeds for you” so dential affair be looked at as a “be­ ing on the ground in painful fits of I could send it to her in a letter bomb. trayer” or possibly be vilified? Her uncontrollable pants-wetting laugh­ She held a press conference high ideals of trust and confidential­ ter at “the great Satan’s uncanny abil­ a couple days later to announce that ity should be studied by the clergy. ity to project stupidity”. What a she was going to appeal. Let’s look In Dante’s “Inferno”, the worst pun­ grand role model is the American at some history real quick, shall we? ishment in hell is set aside for those government. God Bless the media.

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24 April 1998 Ca&et Page 4 Sports Briefis Track team runs away with Just what Netters fall in the Dr, opening round of second straight SC crown

SC tournament Senior leadership gram in ordered The Keyilct tennis team 1 9 8 6 , closed out its spring season at the plays vital role in Bozeman has IMIke Violette Southern Conl'erenee Men’s Tennis lead VMI to Sports Editor Tournament, held in Cireenville, SC capturing title; 10 indoor • 01) April 16-19. and outdoor Are you in desperate need of a Third seeded '['ennessee- Mike Bozeman titles. The little rest and relaxation? Are you ovei'- Chattanooga won the championship triumph was whelmed by things that you have by defeating Davidson, 4-1, last named SC Coach- VMI’s sixth scribbled on a “to-do” list on a Post- Sunday at the Minor Mickel Ten­ outdoor title it® note that you cannot seem to find? nis Center on the campus of of-the-Year won under One of those places is a golf course, I'urman University. Bozeman. but if your handicap is like mine that Seventh seeded Appalachian Patrick Stutts______As dis- too can be equally frustrating some­ State rolled past the tenth seeded played times. Even though 1 have stopped try­ Keydets 4-0 in the opening round. Sports writer throughout ing to take myself even remotely seri­ The doubles team of Kwon-Kane the season, ously on the links. However, the best posted the only VMI victory in the The Keydet track and field VMI relied therapy I can offer someone in need of tournament. team totaled 171 points to win the on its senior an escape is a trip to the “Old Ball 1998 Southern Conference Outdoor leadership to Park.” But, before you leave make sure Track and Field Championship, and capture the it’s the right ball park claim their second consecutive con­ track title. If you are really in need of an Golf team closes ference outdoor track crown. VMI’s D a r r i u s escape there are definitely some parks out season in SC nearest competitor was Appalachian Jackson, the that are better than others. Before 1 State, which finished with 125 points. most out­ begin I thought I might first tell you tournament As history suggests, the Key­ standing per­ which stadiums to avoid. dets clearly seem to perform their former in the THE THREE AMIGOS (I to r) : Long jump and 200m Champion: Darrius Jackson, SC COOKIE CUTTERS: Stay away! I’m ' The 1998 Golf Sea.son came best when competing at home. By indoor sea­ Freshman o f the Year: Marcus Lynch, and (far right) Triple Jump Champ: Obi Ezekwe. Jackson, not talking about the ones in the culi­ an end for the Keydets at the capturing the 1998 championship, son, won the nary section of the department store ei­ Lynch, Ezekwe and teammate Tex Yarborough (not pictured) placed 1st in the 4 x 100m relay. ^Southern Conference Golf Champi­ VMI has won the last five meets held long jum p ther. I’m talking about those perfectly onships held at Carolina Country in Lexington. with a leap of 23’ 7 as well as the nior teammates Obi Ezekwe and Joe (1*', 4x100 relay) and Marcus Lynch syinmetrical stadiums that were popu­ iClub in Spartanburg, SC on April For the ninth time in his career, 200-meter dash with a time of 21.64. Anwah, respectively, earned gold (2"-', 200m, 1“, 4x100 relay) all lar about the same time that Mike Brady ra3-i4. head track coach Mike Bozeman was lie also placed second in the 100m medals in the triple jump and 110- gained all-conference status. was doing architecture. What kind of Hast Tennessee State, ranked named Southern Conference Coach- dash while running a leg for the win­ meter hurdles. Ezekwe also added By placing second in the 200- an architect was he anyway? Don’t you ^ o . 16 nationally, used solid play of-the-Year. Since joining the pro­ ning 4x100 meter relay team. Se- third place finishes in the 100 and meter dash, fourth in the 100-meter think after he and Carol got together that |3nd a Wofford missed putt on the 200-meter dashes dash, and running a leg on the 4x100 he could have designed a house with ■Jinal hole of play to capture the while also running relay team, sprinter Marcus Lynch more than two bedrooms and one ba^i* •Jhampionship. a leg in the 4x100 was named the conference Freshman- room for six obnoxious kids? Anyway. VMI finished 11'" out of 11 meter relay. of-the-Year. I’m talking about Pittsburgh, St. Louis, •Jeams, and Chris Boswell lead the Those ath­ The female track athletes also Philadelphia and Cincinnati. These sta­ ;Keydets by shooting a total of 249 letes who placed made history in their inaugural out­ diums are as boring as they are round. Hn three rounds of play. third or higher in door season. By placing third in the I’m glad to see that people are finally each event were se­ hammer, Kelly Sullivan became beginnmg to break the mold that cast [«•••••••••••••••• lected to the all­ VMI’s first female athlete to earn all­ these stadiums. If you had to choose conference squad. conference honors. from the four, go with St. Louis. They ^Manning, Leaf In addition to the Following the meet, an ecstatic made a token eftbrt at improving Busch vtop picks in draft; three seniors and proud Bozeman said, “I really stadium by finally installing grass and above, Nate Haley, haven’t come down from all this. I’m you will also get a chance to see '■Moss plummets (1“, 400-meter still reading the results and looking McGwire make a run at Maris. hurdles) John at the trophy. It was one of the great DOMES: I don’t think a lot needs to Quarterbacks Peyton Man- C hisholm , (2"'*, wins in VMI Track and Field history. be said here. Avoid any 60,000+ arena ^ning and Ryan Leaf did not have to hammer) Jordan We’ve had tremendous senior lead­ that houses a Final Four, another ridicu­ ^wait long to hear their names called Brandon, (2"'’' shot, ership this year.” lous concept. With the exception of in the 1998 NFL draft. The India­ 3''’' hammer) Phil Bozeman will continue his full­ watching Griftey play in the Kingdome, napolis Colts used their No. 1 pick W eism iller, (Z-"*, time duties as head track coach. His domes just are not worth it. Try and to acquire Manning, while San Di- javelin) Chris status as interim athletic director will catch Griffey on the road. I know ev­ •cgo took Leaf, who left college af­ Wise, (2"^ 800m) end on June 30 when Donny White eryone is excited about the Devil Rays ter his junior season. It was just the Head Coach Mike Bozeman gets doused with water after earning his 10th title since 1986. Tex Yarborough, takes over the position. hot start, but c’mon they play in a re­ third time that quarterbacks have cently’renovated dome. They tried to gone 1-2 in the draft. disguise it by calling it Tropicana Leaf and Manning were fol- Field”, but Tropicana “Carpet” seems ;lowed by Andre Wadsworth of Laxmen drop three straight Baseball splits series more appropriate. Ifyou want climate •Florida State, who was picked up Matt Bryant Mason Ayers was held to two assists. control stay at home. by Arizona. Heisman Trophy win­ Senior midfielder Max Krumpe had SHEA STADIUM: If you are going to ner Charles Woodson of the na­ Sports Writer this to say of the game, “We played with Wildcats; SC New York, go see a Yankees game. If tional champion Michigan Wolver­ well for a quarter, but after that, it you are trying to relax, forget it. Bring ines will suit up in a raider uniform After the win over Sienna Col­ was like we were non-existent.” your earplugs, the flight schedule at this summer. lege two weeks ago, the Lacrosse The Limestone game was a to­ nearby Laguardia Airport makes up for Randy Moss, wide receiver of team has dropped three straight. The tally different story for the Laxmen. tourney next week any noise the fans aren’t making. Marshall and expected top-5 pros­ losing streak started on April 15"' The Keydets controlled most of the OLYMPIC STADIUM: The retractable pect, slipped all the way to the 21” with a loss to Radford University in play throughout the game, but came Barrow throws a roof broke years ago. Montreal doesn’t pick. Although regarded as one of the Star City Classic. The Laxmen up a little short in overtime. Accord­ would not be so lucky. The Keydet have the money to fix it, it’s not worth the most talented players in the looked to get focused again on the ing to Krumpe, ”we were all over the pitching would allow the Cats to come three-hitter; it anyway. They don’t have any money draft, several teams said his past trip to Bethlehem, PA, to take on the field. We played really well. I guess back from an early deficit. VMI jumped to keep their best players either (See problems made him a risky choice. Mountain Hawks of Lehigh, as well we just ran out of gas in overtime.” Pearson goes 5 for out on the Cats 4-1, but in the bottom Following the draft. Moss dropped as at the Patch on April 22"'* against Limestone snuck in a goal in over­ of the third the Keydets loaded the Pedro Martinez). out of his own news conference. Limestone College. However, the time to give them a 9-8 win. Fresh­ 5 at the plate bases. Davidson super'sophomore, So, if you try and stay away from Stewart Sloan, hit a line drive into cen­ these stadiums you should be doing all ••••••••••••••••a tables turned for the Keydets as they man John Humphries earned his first dropped two more. career hat-trick, helping to keep it ter field that skooted by the center right. However, there are some stadi­ Packers’ Reggie In Bethlehem, the Mountain close for the Keydets. Mason Ayers Patrick Baker fielder and cleared the bases. The re­ ums that can truly offer you “a vaca­ Hawks controlled every aspect of the and Andrew Rogers added two goals Asst. Sports Editor lay throw would strike Sloan and skip tion from your problems.” (See Bill White announces game, out shooting, out ground ball­ apiece, and Matt Galliene tacked on way allowing him to score, and the Murray: What About Bob?) ing, and most importantly, outscoring one more. The Keydet Baseball team con­ Keydets found themselves down 5-4. FENWAY PARK: The oldest (tied with retirement the Keydets. The final in the game The Keydets will look to get tinued to struggle this weekend as the The Keydets would put on their Tiger Stadium) stadium in the league, Davidson Wildcats came to town. The rally caps though and storm back in the and still one of the best. It’s very inti­ A bad back has forced one of was 20-6. Lehigh spread out the back on track this weekend with St. Wildcats were looking to improve their fourth inning. The Keydets got some mate, holding just less than 35,000, so the greatest players in the history wealth as four different Mountain Andrews, before the season finale overall 8-28 (Southern Conference 5- timely offense and went back up 6-5. there is not a bad seat in the house. The of the NFL to retire. Reggie White Hawks recorded hat-tricks. with cross town rival Washington and 10) record against a slumping VMI In the bottom of the fifth, VMI would Green Monster offers a flair for the dra­ aiuiounced his retirement following The Keydet offense sputtered Lee. The St. Andrews game will be Baseball Team. The Keydets were add one inore run and go up 7-5 on the matic, and the fans are extremely the NFL draft on Sunday. only producing six goals. Freshman at Patchin Field on Sunday, April 26'". looking to get back on track after a crafty Cats from Davidson. The Cats knowledgeable. Hurry up before it’s White told Mead Coach Mike Brad Muston lead all Keydets with The eleventh annual Lee-Jackson string of losses. The Keydets were try­ came back in the sixth inning and tied too late, a new stadium is in the works Holmgren soon after the Packers' two goals. Matt Galliene picked up Classic will take place on May 2'"' at ing to improve their 12-31 (Southern the score 7-7, and then Davidson speed­ for Boston. They already tore down the loss to Denver in the Super Uowl an assist and a goal. Derek Bogdon, Washington and Lee. The Generals Conference 5-13) record. ster Ben “Bad Leroy” Brown would Garden, so don’t think they’ll hesitate that he wouldn't return to Green Aaron Bush, and Andrew Rogers net­ have won nine straight against the In the first game, the Davidson steal home for the go ahead run. VMI for Fenway. Hay for a si.xth season. ted one goal each. Leading scoring Keydets. Wildcats ran into the hot pitching of would go onto to lose 9-7 and Brandon WRIGLEY FIELD: No more Harry White finished his career Wes “Flames” Barrow. Barrow would "Thurston” Howie would get tagged Carey, but still an afternoon you will with 176 sacks, making him the be untouchable in the first game as he with the loss sliding to (1 -3) on the sea­ not soon forget. league’s career sack leader. I le was burned down the Davidson hitters. The son. Once again, the Keydet’s ofTen- YANKEE STADIUM: The history and also selected to the Pro Bowl a over powering right hander would pitch sive production was lead by Ed Pearson tradition here are more educational than record 12 times in 13 seasons, and a three-hitter and send the Davidson of­ who would go 3-4 in the second game. many museums I’ve visited. The short he’s a future Mall of Famer. fense back on the bus. The split would see the Keydets porch in right field provides plenty of White, a member of the All the Keydets got in on the ac­ record improve to 13-32 overall (South­ excitement, lately, so do the structwal Nl'L’s TS"* anniversary all-star tion scoring 11 runs to blank the Cats ern Conf^erence 6-14) as Davidson problems. Catch this stadium before team, joined the Packers in 1993 for 11-0. Barrow would throw only 99 would improve to a weary 9-29 (South­ Steinbrenner moves the Bronx Bomb­ four years and S17 million after pitches in his near perfect game and im­ ern Conference 6-11). The Southern ers to New Jersey. eight seasons with the Eagles. Ilis prove his record to (4-5) on the season. Conference Tournament is coming THE BALLPARK in ARLINGTON arrival in (ireen Bay marked the The Keydets offensive production soon, and the Keydets will look to once I’ve never had begimiing of the Packers’ return to would be sparked by Ed'Pearson and again be the sleeper in the tourney. The the pleasure of seeing a game in either power. Chris Brooks, who provided eight hits, Keydets will likely square olT against of these two stadiums, but they supply ••••••••••••••• five runs, and six RBls. Ed Pearson first year opponent WolTard, who in the “turn back the clock” look with al All national Sports liriij's n iw would go 5-5 at the plate and would their first year in the Southern Confer­ of the modem luxaries. The excellent compiled from the liSPN weh accomplish the impossible goal of hit­ ence is in fourth place. The tournament baseball isjustabonus. pane located at ting for the cycle. begins April 30"’ and will conclude on CA M PGN-YARPS: Enough said w'ww.espnet.xportszone.com VMI looks to break a thive game slide against St. Andrews on Sunday In the second game the Keydets May 3"*. Heaven on Earth.

■f 24 April 1998 Caiiet Page 5 Faculty in Focus: M^jor Fay Timmins Society Changes Dale Duriach was impressed with the show of interest for her classes seen over News Writer the years and that they remain very Name to Honor Gentry This week’s faculty in focus popular with the cadets. This show cal music, explained Gentry. When try was asked to be the society’s fac­ is^ajor Fay who comes to us from of support only reaffirms her belief Dan Alvarez Timmins was killed while serving as a ulty advisor. the History Department and is for the need to teach about the N e w s T O i S r ” Second Lieutenant in the Korean War, “It was the perfcct room,” said* V ^ l’s authority on the Middle Middle East and the significance it his family established the music soci­ Gentry. “It had a good view ofthe {>«:• Edst. Major Fay has always had a plays in world events and U.S na­ On Wednesday, April 15, the ety in 1951, to benefit cadets in a way rade ground.” Since then, the room' has 1 fascination with the Middle East tional security. To show this sig­ name of the Timmins Music Society they felt he would have liked. Since been moved a level down to a differ­ and decided to pursue a career nificance she invites students ev­ was officially changed to the the society’s birth, it has served as an ent location. which would satisfy her intellectual ery year to the Model Arab League Timmins-Gentry Music Society, in educational organization, enriching ca­ Colonel Alan Baragona, Profes­ cravings. Perhaps the event which and is the advisor to this event. honor of Colonel Thomas B. Gentry det knowledge and appreciation for sor of English, will head the society sparked her to pursue a greater un­ Major Fay also enjoys the small and his service to the club. after Gentry retires at the end of the derstanding of this topic began classes she teaches with more of an The name-change was an­ music. Major Fay, VMI History Professor semester. At the banquet, Baragona when she was a journalist assigned opportunity for interaction and dis­ nounced at a banquet— held in Moody In 1951, the society began as a made an emotional toast in recognition to cover the Palestinian refugee have an input and say into the in­ cussion. The one concern she did Hall— on behalf of Gentry. Attend­ group of cadets who policed the Timmins Room, making sure every­ of his colleague, describing Gentry as situation in parts of the occupied ner workings. In the past she has address was that VMI should not ing were members of the society, the society’s “shepherd,” leading it areas such as the West Bank. Her also taught an Egyptian/North Af­ forget it’s intended aim as an aca­ members of the Timmins family, and thing was taken care of and in order. since its very beginning. background education consists of a rican survey course, but looks to demic institution and to not lose faculty. In 1958, the first trip to New York was Days later. Gentry is still not PHD at Georgetown University the future for the creation of addi­ track of this because of the bureau­ Gentry seemed slightly embar­ organized and has become a yearly comfortable with the name change, “I which she earned in 1992. She tional classes into the History cur­ cracy that it is sometimes known rassed at the announcement delivered event ever since. In addition to the trip, don’t like hyphens in names. I don’t Majored in Middle Eastern History riculum. Major Fay would like to for. by Dr. Robert Timmins, brother of the society schedules many concerts like changing names.” and received a Minor in European see the creation of a class which At the conclusion of the inter­ John Wood Timmins Jr. ’49, whom the and plays for members to attend. ■ He is grateful, though, and ex­ studies. While she was involved in like her others would center on the view his motivated and knowledgeable society was established in memory of As a cadet. Gentry was “explor­ tremely nattered. He feels he doesn’t her PHD she specialized on Egypt Middle East, but with emphasis professor restated why she thought it “I’d rather it stay the same.” ex­ ing in the library after getting bored deserve the honor, even though every­ with her dissertation and through placed on the cultural aspect of life was essential to have history courses plained a touched Gentry. with school work one day,” when he one else does. her language requirements can instead of the political history. She such as hers available for the cadets. But the Timmins family in­ "stumbled upon a room used for stor­ “If I am to be remembered for any­ speak fluent Egyptian Arabic. would like to see this class give She commented on the importance of sisted. age.” Located at the very top level of thing, I couldn’t think of a better way than Major Fay began teaching students a cultural history of the learning about cultures which were dif­ John Timmins Jr., was a Liberal Preston Library, it became the first to be associated with the society.” here at VMl in 1994 after a one relationships between the women ferent than ours. Those cultures which Arts major with a passion for classi­ Timmins Room years later when Gen­ year stint at Gettysburg college. and men and women and the Is­ are dealing especially with Islam are She is currently teaching three lamic law. often misunderstood in the United classes this semester which include Major Fay commented that States and Islam in particular is often World History, Middle Eastern since her indoctrination into VMI misinterpreted. This is one of the rea­ History, and the Arab Israeli Con­ in 1994 her experience as a profes­ sons why she takes great satisfaction flict. She was particularly pleased sor of history has been challenging and pride knowing that what she to teach World History because she as well as rewarding. She has a teaches can open up the minds of stu­ WashinstGA was present when this class under­ positive impression on the Cadets dents to countries and cultures that in went changes in it’s content and or­ and views them generally as excel­ general are heard only on radio and ganization in 1996 and was able to lent students. She states that she television, but are seldom ever visited. Cadets Inducted into S tre^ ' New Honor Society Delton Lowery ’ News Writer Fourth Classmen who earned grade next year, the club plans to “conduct • Fine Wines from Virginia, USA, & All Over point averages over 3.5 for their first joint service activities with the Wash­ ; Phi Eta Sigma, once an all­ semester at VMI. Upperclassmen were ington & Lee Chapter.” • Microbrews & Imports {Kegs now available) male academic fraternity and stands also allowed to join this year because Phi Eta Sigma was founded at ; foi" “love of knowledge”, formed a there was not a chapter at VMI until the University of Illinois in 1923 and now • Premium Cigars & Tobacco Products ; new chapter at the Virginia Military now. spans over 300 chapters. This newest , Institute this year. The Induction Cer- Fourth Classmen chosen as chapter was named after John A. Ander­ • Home Brewing Supplies & Demos , emony was held April 20 at Lejeune Officers for next year include President son, VMl’s first Dean, and includes 59 jlHall with Dr. John Sagabiel, the na- Matthew C. Frye, Vice President Erin cadets. The Chapter Advisor is Lieuten­ • Gourmet Meats & Cheeses ’ ‘tional Grand Secretary-Treasure, pre- Nicole Claunch, Secretary John ant Colonel Susan H. Barr, Assistant Snacks, I se'hting the Charter to Brigadier Gen- Koubaroulis, and Treasurer Nicholas Dean of the Faculty. Pohoreskey said, > eral Alan F. Farrell, Dean of the Fac- Romano Pohoreskey. Pohoreskey said “the fraternity was set up by Col. Barr to • Hot Sauces - Picnic & Gift Baskets I lilty. Acceptance into this National Phi Eta Sigma is predominantly a “stu­ give up and coming Rat masses the will 1 Freshman Honor Society is given to dent run organization.” He added that to be academically successful.” • Pub Glasses - Stemware - Accessories

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24 April 1998 Catiet Page 6 Professors Will No Breakout in STONEWALL GIFT HOUSE Bear New Patch 1972; Beitzel GIFTS AND GADGETS Colin Mahle resents academic excellence, while the SOUVENIRS Guest Writer other colors represent the arms of Colo­ POTTERY nial Virginia, integrity, and strength. The Recalls Problems Some faculty think the torch border between the background colors is FIREWORKS looks like Santa Claus wearing a hat. in the shape of the VMI spider, with the Best Prices ■piey’re not talking about a Christmas torch representing the I. ' decoration, they arc speaking about the Colonel Michael Harris’, the with Admin. See Largest Rattlesnake in the South new unit patch for all Virginia Militia Department 1 lead of Modem Languages, 1-81, EXIT #195 ofl'icers. only complaint is that it is dilTicull to see does.” The Class voted not to give Major Cieneral Josiah Bunting the VMI spider hidden in the colors. “I 300 Tards From HO Jo's and in to Shell’s demands. III, Superintendent, recently requested don’t object to it all, the design; it is just Todd Kennedy Easterly and the other class Ramada Inn U.S. 11 South the United States Amiy Institute ofl ler- not as straight forward as I thought [it officers walked out on the meeting, aldry at Fort Uelvior, Va. to design and would be]." Guest Writer Open Year Round Daylight Till Dark saying that they would break the authorize a unit patch for the professors The unit patch is part of a move rats out at Taps if the class didn’t in the Virginia Militia. The outcome of to add a more military aspect to the uni- replace them with new officers be­ this request resulted in a shield-shaped fomisofthe Militia. fore that. patch three inches high and about two The Board of Visitors recently KEYDET ATHLETICS - Breakout is the all-out According to Thornton and one half inches wide. authorized a VMI achievement ribbon for struggle for freedom that ends the Newlon, Class of ’69, the class im­ The patch was designed by prolonged service and have given out ratline. It is the classic battle that mediately elected new class offic­ BE THERE!! Thomas U. Proffitt at the United States three thus far. Colonel Leroy Hammond, supposedly every class at VMI has ers, and “overwhelmingly reaf­ Army Institute of Heraldry and autho­ the Lxecutive Officer of the Virginia gone through every year since firmed their vote to keep the rats rized by U.S. Aniiy regulations. Militia, is presently designating a faculty Christ was a Corporal. That is, ev­ in.” The shield features a flaming medal indicating the length of time spent ery class but one. Shell responded by refus­ torch surrounded by a red, white, and teaching at the Institute. This medal will In 1969 there was a fight ing to recognize the new officers. black background. The yellow torch rep­ be awarded beginning next year. of will between the administration Next he turned the General Com­ I'lfiKslk c& IFSdM ■ and the First Class that resulted in mittee over to the Second Class of­ This Week in Business the resignation of all of ‘69’s class ficers and ordered cadet First Cap­ officers, and the Class of 1972 be­ tain, Chris L’Orange to let the rats Alumni Mem. Field M ic a h W ei nearly tripled in value aikr gaining 15 ing thrown out of the ratline with out immediately. Beitzel said “we Friday, April 17, 9:00 AM/Saturday, April 18, 11:00 AM, 1/16 points. 7"' level (SEVL), who de­ no Breakout ceremony. According assembled in the old courtyard and Business Writer Southern Confrence Outdoor Championships signs character animation technology, to Colonel Vernon Beitzel, VMI did our old yells, but when it came The Intemet. It is safe to say more than quadurpled in value on reports Class o f ’72 and VM I’s Admissions time to do one for our class we that the Intemet is the most powerful its technology will be distributed by officer, the event left “wounds in spontaneously did another for our commercial product ever developed in WavePhore (WAVO), an online broad­ the class of ’69 that would not be dykes instead, and then we simply our history. Revolutionary? That al­ caster. The popular search engines healed until their 25th reunion.” walked up the stairs unresisted.” Basdtballll - most seems like an understatement. Infoseek (SEEK), Yahoo (YHOO), and At the beginning of the 68- The next day, members of Hook up online and you have access Lycos (LCOS) continue to soar off the 69 school year. General George the Third Class, which included to a library, a car dealership, a broker­ strength of investors’ optimism. Shell, VMI’s Superintendent at the Colonel Mike Strickler (VMl’s The Patch age house, a bank, and a doctor at your Are some of these companies time, called for an “academic re­ Public relations officer), went up Saturday, April 18, 1:00 PM-VMI vs. Furman (DH) , disposal. The Intemet is fast and furi-' overvalued? Absolutely. Does this mean view” to evaluate the ratline’s ef­ and threw the rats’ hays into the ous. It’s loaded with infonnation on it’s the WTong time to buy? Probably. fects on grades. The study found courtyards in protest of the previ­ Sunday, April22, 3:30-VMI v. Limestone just about everything ever thought of Big earnings only increase the chance that the length of the ratline, which ous evening’s events. 'Need real-time ciuotes on your favor­ that next time they won’t be as profit­ traditionally lasted until April, hurl The First Class was torn up ite stock? Want to watch highlights of able. What’s dangerous is the fact that the grades of the rats. The survey over the eonfiict. Beitzel said “1 ' last night’s basketball game? Evenre- some of these same companies, espe­ recommended that the rats be bro­ think it was rougher on the First ILsKeffcDss® ^ lationships are built and developed on cially among the search engines, have ken out in January. Class than anyone else.” He stated 'the Intemet. reported less-than-desirable earnings or According to Frank East­ “they all blamed each other and it You ask what does this have even losses, yet continue to go through erly, the Class of ‘69’s President, wasn’t until they all got The Patch Jo do with Wall Street? Plenty. Stocks the roof One does not want to invest in Shell told the First Class officers back together a few years ago ‘ ‘do not get sold unless someone wants a stock that has already seen its highest about the findings at the beginning that some of the wounds healed.” to buy them. Remember, the stock jump. On the other hand, as long as in­ of the year. He then gave Easterly Conor Ashby, Class of ’69, said Friday, April 17, 3:30 PM -VM I vs LimestoneCollege ' market is a futures market. People buy vestors keep pouring money into the in­ until January 29th to Breakout the “the First Class lost all of our con­ slocks because of future earnings, not dustry, prices can only go up. rats. Easterly chose to “stall the trol in barracks after that issue. The today's earnings. What happens when The market is a constant game administration by not announcing administration never had any re­ WENDY’S is the proud sponser of . multitudes of people think the same of ebb and fiow. Just last week, the fi­ it to the class until the last possible spect for us again.” thing about a company, either good or nancial services industry was the darling moment.” In the end. Shell had won. VMI Athletics! ^ bad? The company gets extremely of Wall Street with all of its mergers and On February 24, Shell, fed For eight of the next nine years overvalued or devalued. These are the potential takeovers. This week, it’s tech­ up with Easterly’s stalling tech­ Breakout would occur in January Cadets in uniform get 15% off their times to buy and sell. Sell high and nology. Take not, there is no one darling niques, gave Easterly 24 hours to with little argument. According to buy low. Investment strategy 101. industry. They each have their time. It’s break the rats out, or else he would Ashby, “the rats lost the most. order anytime at The Intemet is a prime ex­ reverse psychology to succeed in the “let them out myself,” he said. They didn’t get the ‘full package.’” ample of loo many people jumping on market. When tliere’s good news, get out. Easterly called a class meeting and Easterly commented that WENDY’S in Lexington! This offer' the ship at the same time. Market When there’s bad news, gel in. Never told the class, for the first time, of now, “the rats must bear the stigma Guide, after it signed a deal to provide follow popular opinion in stocks, a big the committee’s findings. Easterly of being a class that was let out of is not valid with any other discounts financial research tools to America gainer yesterday helps you out little to­ recommended that “we break the their ratline not by their First Class, Online’s (AOL) personal finance site. day. rats out before the administration but by the Superintendent.” or coupons!!!!______i

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( A&L Editors staff Jeff Meade John Strock Jack Hagel & John Morgan

24 April 1998 W t)t Cabet Page 7 A«&L Briefs Meade Reviews : Smith rocks D. C. McCa r t n e y m y s t e r y : Jack Hagel and went straight into “Angeles” which is Paul McCartney’s camp now con­ Arts & Leisure Writer featured on the Soundtrack and on his tjiinl cedes wife Linda did not die in Santa and most recent release on the Olympia in­ Barbara, California. But they’re not Mary Lou Lord Album Thirty-something singles, dependent label Kill Rock Stare, “Either/ saying where she did die. Or.” Crow, but her songs arc sung in seem­ a genuinely sincere feel. The album altemateens some accomp;inicd with their As he played on, the ladies stared Jeff Meade ingly a whisper giving her music a maintains an indie feel throughout with­ parents and regular indie-rocker showgoers HAT ACTS: Tim McGraw mesmerized and aspiring guitarists look Arts A Leisure Writer gracefully gentle feel. All the tracks on out the excessive production of some alike comprised tlie audience for “the otlier took four awards; Garth Brooks note. He fmished his firet number and an the album are very listener friendly. The of the more popular female vocalists big show” tliis weekend. Portland’s singer/ .named entertainer of the year at the awkward silence fell over the Beantown has given us,some of majority of the songs are acoustic gui­ like Fionna Apple and Alanis Morrisset. song writer extraodinaire, Elliott Smith pcr- Academy of Country Music Awards. onlookere.. .one person started to clap and the most popular music acts of the past tar oriented, but there arc a bunch with Got No Shadow's greatest fonned at Wasliington D.C.’s Black Cat club the rest followed. Quickly, everybody was decade including Aerosmith, New a harder driving edge. The Album also strength is that it maintains variety in on St. NW. Initially when 1 told my NO WAY! Several ex-Jerry silenced again ready for Smith to weave yet Kids on the Block, and Marky Mark, contain a little country flavor on some all of the songs it provides. You sim­ roommate tliat I was going to a show this Springer guests tell TV’s Extra that— another tale of adolescent hesitation and but the real strength of the Boston mu­ songs which is a soothingly pleasant ply can't classify her as a folk or and weekend, before he could finish his re­ gasp!—his show’s frequent fights are reminiscence. He gasped into the micro­ sic scene has always been its indie change from the “angry hurt woman" indie musician because she switches her sponse, 1 quickly snapped, “No, I’m not staged. Although, his audience was phone; “You guys okay? How 'bout you bands. The musical style going to Dave Mathews this weekend.” \ shocked, they pledged undying sup­ guys in the back?” He went into his sec­ Lemonheads, often Tlie 28 year old Smitli’s Paul Simon- port of his show. One man ond song, “Division Day” off his KRS The Mighty throughout esque folk-pop nearly earned him an Oscar seven inch, and then followed by Mighty the album. earlier this year when he was featured on TROUBLE WITH JERRY: “Clemintine,” off his .second album bear­ B o s s to n e s The music is tlie Good Will Hunting soundtrack. His Springer’s Chicago afiiliate is drop­ ing an eponymous name. His demeanor J u I i a n n 2 not .“Chick song “Miss Mi.seiy” wiis nominated for the ping the show, under pressure from was veiy content. He came off very shy, Hatfield, anc Rock”, but award ofbest original song in a motion pic­ religious and community groups. but genuine and one could easily tell that Slapshot have music that ap­ ture. Despite being the only nominee to all put Bostor peals to all compose and perform his own song, Smith his personal approach to the audience that SWEET NOTHINGS: A New all this Oscar business hasn’t changed him on the map in genders. No ended up losing to Canadian diva Cilene Ybrk chocolate company promising the alterna­ other album Dion and the Titanic anthem “My heart Will from tlie coffeehouse pereona that his mu­ sweets to the first 1,000 people who tive music this year by a Go On.” Not badforaguy that onlyacouple sic and attire lend himself to. Hislooksand vow to turn off Springer. his bashful disposition certainly weren’t scene. Keep­ female vocal­ of months before was playing to audiences ing consis­ ist contains of 30 in small Northwestern cofieehouses. those ofthe conventional rock star. It’s re­ NOW IT CAN BE TOLD: The tent from the such a gutsy As I walk into the club, Lexington, ally hard to believe that this guy was at the father of South Park’s Cartman is Oscars with the likes of eveiybody that’s scene she ^ roots appeal KY’s folk/countiy/blues band Birddog was his...mother. Now the search begins anybody in Hollywood. Throughout his set, hails from, as Got No finishing up their set. 1 squeezed my way for mom. Mary Lou Shadow. The to the front and enjoyed Birddog’s last few he catered to the requests of fans.. .he even Lord fills the album is what numbers. Tliere was a distinct buzzing go­ belted out an impressive rendition of John ACTION! The creators of shoes of music should ing around tlie sold out crowd. The audi­ Lennon’s “Jealous Guy,”—whistle solo and South Park reportedly getting the go- all. other quality be from the ence was producing a pretty loud conver­ ahead to make an R-rated big-screen Smith will leave the indie circuit fol­ indie acts to hip and from sational commotion much to the dismay of version of the cult ‘toon. come out of the heart not tlie members of Birddog and Birddog fans lowing this small club tour. His fourth solo Boston. fabricated by alike. Birddog finished their set and quickly, release is due out this summer on Stephen FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: Spielberg’s label Dreamworks. Smith’s O n some pro­ the conversation tone increased. Close to Friends is now the front-runner to in­ Mary Lou ducer who 20 minutes went by and Smith took stage discography includes “Roman Candle,” on herit Seinfeld’s time slot, US Today Lord’s first thinks they wearing faded blue jeans, his trademark Cavity Search Records, and “Elliott Sinlth,” says. and the critically acclaimed 1996 release, major label release Got No Shadow, we music that plagues the top 40 charts. have the next “new thing” female vo­ wool stocking cap and an old Willie Nelson see a softer side of the Boston indie “Western Union Desperate” and “She calist on their hands. Mary Lou Lord concert T-shirt causing much applause from “Either/Or” on Kill Rock Stars. There is REWRITE! ABC has rejected music scene. Her sound is that of a Had You” showcase perhaps her best is definitely a talent, but on the hush the very anticipatory crowd. TTie clapping rumor that Smith has been put on a bill for the script for the sitcom to reunite folkier and more talented Julianna efforts on this all round good album. hush. Her whispcrly wise vocals tell a stopped and the crowd was silenced when this summer that includes the likes of Ben Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Hatfield. Mary Lou Lord has that Her songs all convey personal experi­ secret worth keeping in your music col­ Smith greeted the crowd with a quick, “Hi” Folds 5 and Beck. Harper, Daily Variety says. raspily sweet voice similar to Sheryl ence in their lyrics that give her music lections. SWINGIN’: Monday’s Rat Pack special—rare footage of Frank, Upcoming £oents Sammy and Dean—scored TV Land its highest-ever ratings! BEEN TO THE Friday. f)prif NO WAY TO TREAT A FIRST LADY? ABC planning an un­ Eddie. fR om Ghia @ ffoodzone, authorized miniseries about Nancy Reagan, Variety says. Richm ond

; LINEUP ANNOUNCED; Pri­ MUSEUM LATELY? Georgia Satefites @ Rogues, Of) mary Colors will open next month’s Canned film festival; Godzilla will Geach *«lose it. P iefasfers @ Trax, Charfotte&oiffe BREAKDOWN? Michael Hutchence’s widowed lover is “in pieces” in a clinic, prone to weeping jags, a London tab says. Satardag. f)prif2S^ , GOING TO BAT: Ex-prez Jipimy Carter and wife Roslyn is de­ Traois Tritt @ fifCf Center, fending Jane Fonda in the actress’ Georgia’s-a-third-world-countty im­ (Washington, D.C. broglio. I ; BUYING TIME: Sentencing delayed for Steven Spielberg’s con­ Sandag. f)prif 26^ victed stalker. The man wants a new laiwyer. Soaf Coughing @ Mago (eland,

: STAT OF THE DAY: “On the Richm ond Good Ship Lollipop cherub Shirley Temple celebrates birthday No. 70 to­ day (^ohdag, f)prif 27^

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: George Clinton & f^-funk @ 9;30 Friends is now the front-runner to inherit Seinfeld’s time slot, USA C(u(^, (dashington, (}.C. Today says.

REWRITE! ABC has rejected the script for the sitcom to reunite Tuesdag. Oprif 28^ Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Harper, Daily Variety says. (^iffg Joef @ fffCf Center, (dashington, SWINGIN’: Monday’s Rat Pack special—rare footage of Frank, f^.C. Sammy and Dean— scored TV Land ifs highest-ever ratings. fighting Graoitg @ (fO f)

i NO WAY TO TREAT A fIRST LADY? ABC plaiming an un- 4uthorized miniseries about Nancy Reagan," Variety says. President, TKuman and Superintendent Milton visiting the VMl Museum, I960

LINEUP ANNOUNCED: Kim aary Colors will open next month’s Cannes film festival; tiodzilla will close it. The memory of The Institute... < WHAT??? Alabama bested the Beatles in a People mag readers’ poll on all-time favorite bands. VMI Museum in Jackson j; K Memorial, Hall Open Daily 9-5... I BHefi are compiled from the El I Online web service.

I S \ ht ®umor VOLUME^xc: ; / ■ Friday,24:Apr^^ Top 10 Things For the VMI Administration to Do

10. Do whatever it is that Ed Dooley does all day. 9. Congratulate Silly Pants” Lorence for his 300 PFT, moronic hairdo, great tuck, bullet-proof glasses and ”latin lover” escapades. 8. Make a 275 pound cement worker sit Indian style in 32 inch waist jeans. 7. Send Rowe, Joyner, and Hockaloogie to talk to talk to each other about the problem and do nothing but use up oxygen. 6. Position the ” death trap cadet killing tar boiler from hell” 4 feet from a barracks room. 5. Post 5 B&G guys to smoke and laugh as raw sewage floats by. 4. Think of things that are enjoyable and make sense and then make them a bone. 3. Do whatever it is that SGM Jackson does with all that confiscated porn. 2. Build up your B.A. Baracus jewelry collection with SGM ”Nipple-Pants” Hockaday. 1. Invest in enough ”mantequilla de poto” for the whole corps

Hey, "No Breakout" Morgan-How many Sydney guys does it take to put Ginger in finger cuffs?

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