#97 7 - 13 June 2002 16 pages Rs 20 Monsoon moods

9 PUSKAR GAUTAM EXCLUSIVE ○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○ he Maoists have benefited greatly Royal soundbites from the political disarray in TKathmandu. And they seem to be (Excerpts from an unofficial using the time to re-strategise while waiting translation of King Gyanendraís interview with Nepal Televisionís for the Congress’s internal crisis to play Durga Nath Sharma on 5 June.) itself out, and perhaps prepare for what DENOUEMENT Baburam Bhattarai calls their “decisive There is an ominous calm. Is a storm near? offensive”. his Nepali proteges have memorised that line. It is conceivable that the Maoists will They need a big push at this time to wait to make one last attempt to stop the avenge the massive defeat in Khara in whichescalation of the conflict to a dramatic new the army says at least 200 guerrillas were level. The Koirala faction of the Congress killed. Then, there is the need to carry out has re-opened back channels with the something spectacular near Kathmandu to Maoists, and the Maoists, in a classic two- force the government to give up its track strategy, have kept the door to surrender-before-talks stance. It has becomenegotiations open. Prachanda’s last pretty clear to the Maoists that overrunningstatement on May Day, hinting at an army garrison in the far-west does not When we came to the throne it was an negotiations , was one of the most concilia- make the powers-that-be in Kathmandu sittory he has ever made. But by repeatedly unexpected and unimaginable up and take notice. situation…I couldn’t have ever imagined rebuffing these offers, Deuba’s government things would turn out that way. The Security sources tell us that captured has come out looking hardline. And SANJAY biggest and most encouraging thing wasMaoists have been speaking of preparationsalthough Britain, the United States and that we were able to face the challenge underway for major attacks on military or India have supported the government’s their struggle. In their analysis, the Shining with the people’s support. That was mostinfrastructure targets. The shootout in Dead Maoist guerrillas after the Battle for Khara on 28 May. important. stance, the Europeans now seem to think Path and the Colombian revolutions failed Changu Narayan on Tuesday in which six there is no reason why there shouldn’t be 3. Start the process of dialogue for socio- because they let Strategic Balance drag on alleged Maoists were killed was one of the secret talks. economic reforms and lasting peace; and Nepalis I have met have told me that for too long. In Nepal, the Maoists think a most serious skirmishes inside the Valley so The Maoists also face increasing 4. Have an all-party caretaker government toquick push when the state is vulnerable will those responsible for making democracyfar. Reports from the hinterland confirm flourish are not playing the role they internal pressures. Hardliners in the military oversee elections, in which the Maoists take them to victory. But they don’t seem should be. And until that happens, thethat there is assembly-line manufacture of wing are impatient, and ethnic militant may also participate. to have reckoned with some other factors. improvised explosives, and massive forced benefits democracy allies like the Khumbuwan Mukti Morcha “These actions may bring the Maoists into The security forces are now banking on cannot bring peace recruitment from every family of one younghave split over whether or not to stay with and security to theCK Lal p2 man or woman. Thousands of boys and the political process,” Shrestha told us. superior intelligence, and have also launched a citizens. the Maoists. The militia is feeling the heat “Otherwise the elections may not mean psy-war campaign with posters, pamphlets, Past imperfect, girls have fled to the towns and Kathmandufrom the security forces, and also losing future uncertain in the past month. anything.” For their part, the Maoists seem television programmes and even an exhibition local support due to its extortion, food convinced that the government will not Why look at The Maoists appear to have decided of captured Maoist artefacts at Tundikhel. looting and forced recruitment. All this willingly create these conditions, and are The idea is to portray the Maoists as anti- elections negatively? I feel the govern-that the time is ripe for their “ ment, political parties, different classes could indicate that the Maoists have therefore consolidating their forces for people and unpatriotic. And India is the wild of society, have to look at it as a positive decided that it is now or never. an offensive. card. The Maoists know that their big thing, and prepare for free elections on The Maoists were considerably encour- push will not be successful if the Indians the specified dates. war ki par” aged by the ease with which they razed the continue their crackdown on their (do or die) moment. Baburam Bhattarai garrison in Gam, and may have figured that cadre in India. The continuity of the institution ofhimself hints as much in his interview with Mulyankan editor Shyam Shrestha says they are now ready for conventional battles Nepal is now polarised between the monarchy rests on the faith, trust andthe Maoist paper respect of the Nepali people. Jana Awaj on 9 April, this actually presents an opportunity for against the army. However, the defeat at revolutionaries and the reactionaries, and Those who cannot deliver (develop-where he said: “It is likely that the decisive peace, and that the run-up to the elections Khara two weeks ago proved that the army’s both could invite outside interference. ment) should not blame the system. leap forward can be taken in the next could be when the Maoists and the night-time air support and the quality of But Nepalis have a third choice: side with government might reach a compromise. His Our peace-loving country today is few months.” command can easily tip the balance forces of democracy, and press for four-step peace plan goes like this: caught in a spiral of violence. If all sidesOne contributing factor to this is the against them. progressive reforms. are committed to the well-being of thepolitical infighting, which is coming to a 1. Lift the emergency; The Maoists may feel that they have nation and the people, we believe a head, and the polarisation among 2. Declare a ceasefire to provide space forreached the “Strategic Balance” phase of solution can emerge from an approach political activity and let the economy compatible with the constitution. parliamentary parties. Mao Zedong said “hit the enemy when it is in a crisis,” and recover; I want to tell the Nepali people: Live as Nepalis, be proud to be Nepalis. Let us learn to work for our nation and for its good. This nation will not ask you to make sacrifices, you have to step forward to do so. That is my message. “The government must urgently improve governance”

Nepali Times: What is the Canadian position on future organisations as well as partnerships between civil society, More promises development assistance to Nepal in view of the currentCanada is Nepal’s tenth largest government and the private sector to improve access to basic insurgency? services and increase productive capacities. We are happy with The government told donors Thursday it donor with annual aid of Rs 350 the results, but more importantly, we see around us strength- had come out with an “immediate actionPeter Sutherland: Canada remains committed to assisting the government and the people of Nepal in their efforts to million.reduce Canadian ambassador to ened Nepali institutions within local and central government as plan” to get its reform drive started. The well as civil society. It is with these partners that we will continue plan contains a list of promises the poverty. We have been development partners for overNepal, 30 years Peter Sutherland, speaks to and intend to continue to support Nepali efforts towards to support poverty reduction and efforts towards equitable and government says it will fulfil. One donor sustainable development. told the government: “We’ve heard allequitable and sustainable development. In this difficult Nepali Times of aid priorities, this before, what is the guarantee thatenvironment, where the security of the women and men and Nepal’s capacity to use What is your assessment of the governmentís present you will do it this time?” The pledges working with Canadian projects is our primary concern, we areassistance effectively. ability to use foreign assistance effectively? come from a caretaker government thatactively adjusting our programming and approaches so that There is scope for the government to increase its ability to does not even have a finance minister.they remain effective. We are finding that the programs which effectively and efficiently use foreign assistance. It needs to All eyes are now on the 2002/03 annualhave been able to strengthen communities are the most address urgently issues of governance such as corruption, civil budget, which will be announced as anresilient in the current insecure environment. service reform and broad based participation at the grass roots ordinance in mid-July. Have your priorities for aid changed over the years? level. The present political instability and insurgency have During the 1970s and 80s, Canadian development assistance further constrained the government’s ability to expedite successfully supported the opening up of Nepal’s remote areas development in a balanced manner. In my view, the govern- by sharing Canadian technology and approaches to rural ment has to devolve more authority and resources to local access—particularly in the aviation sector. We then moved bodies and communities and foster partnerships with civil into a period when CIDA’s aid program focused on water and society and the private sector in order to improve service energy resource management through central government delivery and better handle conflict at the local level. institutional development. In the 1990s Canada’s aid program What is your governmentís views on the current conflict in focused more on community-based development. The current Nepal? Weekly Internet Poll # 37 CIDA program aims to reduce poverty and promote peace by Canadians are deeply saddened by this conflict which has claimed the lives of so many Q. Was it right for Prime Minister Deuba to dissolve facilitating effective implementation of Nepal’s devolution process. parliament? Nepalis. We condemn the methods that the insurgents have resorted to, particularly the There have been failures like the K-BIRD project, but there have also beendestruction successes of vital infrastructure, extortion, torture and executions. Innocent civilians like your technical assistance for the development of civil aviation and hydropower.have been caught in the middle of this conflict. In addition to the many who have been Have these lessons been incorporated into future plans? killed or injured, hundreds of others have been displaced by the conflict. We urge the Like some other integrated rural development projects in Nepal, the K-BIRDMaoists project to renounce violence, lay down their arms and return to the negotiating table. suffered from poor co-ordination between line agencies at the district level andCanada a lack supports of the democratically-elected government of Nepal in its efforts to protect genuine participation in planning and implementation of the project by theits people citizens and to bring about a return to peace and order in the country. However, we are affected. Learning lessons from this and other more successful community-basedalso concerned initia- about the increasing number of human rights abuse allegations directed tives in Nepal, CIDA has been supporting the institutional strengthening of atcivil members society of the Nepali security forces in connection with such anti-insurgent activities.

Total votes: 2500

Weekly Internet Poll # 38. To vote go to: www.nepalitimes.com Q. Should the Nepali Congress split and get it over with? Nepal has found itself being scapegoated as a hotbed of intelligence activities, and has suffered because these two neighbours haven’t been able to get along. As Chair of SAARC, Nepal should be taking a lead in knocking the two heads together, but we have our own problems. 222 EDITORIAL And it7 is- 13 time JUNE the region 2002 NEPALI looked TIMES beyond NATION 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES 333 22 the play-safe ban on bilateral issues being Nepali Times is published by Himalmedia Pvt Ltd, Chief Editor:Kunda Dixit Editor:Anagha Neelakantan discussed in the regional body. Otherwise OPINION by ALOK BOHARA Design:Kiran Maharjan the next time India and Pakistan cry [email protected], www.nepalitimes.com jingoism. The leaders of India and Pakistan Advertising:Sunaina Shah [email protected] wolf, no one will listen to them. Subscription:Anil Karki [email protected] must know that the rest of the world is Sales:Sudan Bista [email protected] laughing at them. These two insecure Sanchaya Kosh Building, Block A-4th Floor, Lalitpur GPO Box 7251, Kathmandu, Nepal nations want the world to take them Tel: 01-543333-7, Fax: 01-521013 Printed at Jagadamba Press: 01-521393 Western intelligence agencies estimateseriously just because they have that up to 12 million people could benuclear bombs. The world is getting killed in a nuclear exchange between prettythe sick of them crying wolf. Devolution, not revolution Kashmir. Resolve Kashmir and everything LMS RACE twoA countries. There is a need to de- It is time India and Pakistan redefined ndia and Pakistan, twin nations else can slowly fall into place. But with so escalate, and immediately. separated at birth, have demonisedmuch anger and bad blood, we can no security. The real security threat for both hoever we may blame for the crisis To resolve Kashmir, we have to ask: each other for the past 50 years of longer rely on just good sense countries does not come from each other’s of democracy in Nepal, we have to For a geographically challenged country like I what do the Kashmiris themselves want?territory, but from the poverty and inequal- independence. They have fought three to prevail, and only trust that Most there are fed up with the war, fed ityup within. Wagree that all Nepalis are in this wars, and even in times of relative peace, the leaders of the two sides will relations have been tense. with human rights abuses by Indian securityNepal has a lot to lose in case of an together. The other point most would Nepal, there is really no other way. not think the unthinkable. It isforces no and foreign militants infiltrating from The epicentre of the India-Pakistan India-Pakistan conflagration. It will be a accept, one that is the source of many of coincidence that India-Pakistanacross the Line of Control. A moderate and coup de grace for our tourism industry. Nepal’s current problems, is that political dispute is the partitioned state of democratic Pakistan is in everyone’s tensions reach breaking point each Thousands of Nepalis are deployed on the interest: in President General Pervez and economic power is concentrated in time there is a domestic crisis. The front, hundreds of thousands of Nepalis work Musharraf’s interest, and in Prime Minister the capital. A federal system of govern- in Gujarat, Punjab and Haryana—which will present war-mongering comes amidst Atal Behari Vajpayee’s. If that is their be Ground Zero in case of war. And if the ment to devolve power across Nepal sectarian violence in Gujarat where somecommon goal, there is every reason for the war goes nuclear after August then we will would be an essential first step in 1,000 people have been killed in pogromstwo to work together, and the general needs be downwind from radioactive fallout. this year. to be given political space to de- resolving the present crisis. With the war in Afghanistan windingTalebanise Pakistan. Kathmandu’s over-importance, its down, there is a real danger of the conflictThe first immediate step for both sides pampered class and its unconcern are drifting eastwards. At no time since theis to tone down the rhetoric and stop media resented by many millions of Nepalis 1971 war have tensions been so high. Two outside the Valley, and the Maoists have years ago when a fierce battle erupted in succeeded in taking advantage of that Sri Lanka. Conflicts and dissension in Kargil, it was the first-ever conflict between democratic Nepal have mostly emanated two nuclear-armed nations in world history. sentiment. The government, instead of only pursuing a military solution, must start from economic deprivation, regional thinking of a three-pronged strategy that power, Kathmandu. disparities, and a sense of powerlessness. A includes security, economic development, Voters may vote for a party and its well-articulated democratic regional and political change. candidates at the national level on the basisstructure of self-reliance will move the country towards a true form of political On the political front, a federal Maoists, the proposed decentralised of issues of national importance such as STATE OF THE STATE by CK LAL decentralisation process and may preempt mechanism would preserve the constitu- and the members of the executive branch political system encourages electoral SAARC and SAFTA, immigration policy, (the cabinet). participation and promotes accountability. trade with India, water resources, national any ethnically motivated dissent that may tional monarchy and strengthen multiparty arise in the future. democracy, and it would not require any Taxing power and responsibilities shouldAnd, under this system, the constitutional security, discrimination against dalits and monarchy is actually strengthened. Strong women, child labour, girl trafficking, The north-south regional structure as audience with King Gyanendra some months changes in our administratively-defined be based on the size and scope of each level regional governments would reduce the information technology, income tax, and envisioned by the late King Birendra will ago. But I remember coming out of Nirmal geographic units such as village councils, of government. The Planning Commission impact of national-level crises on ongoing environmental damages and policies. At theperfectly map into the proposed plans. Past imperfect, future uncertainNiwas with the distinct impression that the district units and development regions. Theand the Monitoring Body can help in this ten years later to force King Birendra to bestow development efforts outside the Valley same time, they may choose to be totallyPaharis and madhesis from various districts sovereignty upon his people. As it turned king had already made up his mind about current constitutional provisions dealingregard. Any disputes among the three layers of ing Mahendra had the courage to marry what he intended to do. His purpose in with the monarchy, and legislative, governments about power and responsibilitiesmuch the same way as impeachment apolitical in the selection of their local, of the region will have to work together for Will King Gyanendraand be a good a king.rational But it is no disrespectking toorout, an his own emotional son, the crown prince, ruler? lacked hearings in the United States did not village-level leaders, and consider only a common cause to develop their regions in the girl of his choice. Unencumbered by the patience to wait for a favourable decisionmeeting people like us was not to hear what we executive and judicial power and respon-can be settled by the Supreme Court. ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ his memory to say that he was not cut out impede the business of state level govern- their ability to look after local needs andareas of common interests such as feeder Kthe self-doubt that formal education from his parents. King Birendra shines like had to say, but to share his vision of the sibility would remain intact. Other invariably generates, he didn't hesitate in that controlled dictatorship was preferable to to be a great ruler. future. We were his sounding boards. changes would be required in the Give the central authority (eg, the Lowerments. Similarly, the national crises in Newissues such as law and order, sanitation, roads, schools, university, hospitals, taxes, Monarchs are compared to their successors a beacon today partly because of the post- Delhi engross national legislators, but state property taxes, health. agriculture stations, technical education, translating his impulses into action. His the pitfalls of communism in emerging Third 1990 political leadership that squandered Given the mess we are in at present, the constitution, including: and Upper Houses based on two-thirds governments move on with their economic electricity, irrigation, and water resources. methods were in a way “fundamentalist”, but World democracies. and predecessors. King Mahendra was often the freedom he ushered in. king will be hailed if he were to take bold and majority) the complete power to take over Similarly, regional level voting measured unfavourably against his democratic growth and development plans. his goals were quitemodern. He aspired to do Those were the days when political Just when King Gyanendra is about to progressive steps to strengthen the fruits of the regional and local governments in case of a preferences may be based on completely People of the tarai will benefit from in decades what other countries had taken scientists at the Center for International Studiesfather. The administrative reign of King People’s Movement. Then, the threat that grave emergency situation, such as local The regional jurisdiction is much betterdifferent issues, such as the nature of thewater resources coming down from the Birendra was often unkindly juxtaposed with come out of the traditional period of mourn- centuries to accomplish. Rather than follow at MIT were fashioning the template of the ing, Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba has Deuba has brought to face democracy can turn and/or regional insurgency that threatens equipped to fight for the rights and regional universities, exploitation of north, and will also enjoy tourism opportu- the Divine Counsel of Prithvi Narayan Land and Climate Theory of governance to the paternalistic rule of the pioneer of the out to be an opportunity. national security. responsibilities of the fifteen or so districts water resources, small hydro power, nities. At the same time, the hill people will brought about a virtual political paralysis by Introduce five regional assemblies. Two Shah, King Mahendra chose to follow the check the contagion of communism from Panchayat. The intention of those who extol There are enormous risks involved in within each district/ regional assembly. tourism, sales tax, property tax, businessbe linked to industrial activities that are the democratic virtues of the late king may be dissolving parliament. King Gyanendra is now or three directly elected representatives The regional government should not be isolationist path of another illustrious spreading in Asia, Africa and Latin America. It democratic reversal. Will King Gyanendra be a Under the current system, political bosses tax, emission standards, public school likely to take place in the plains. The to create an ideal for the present ruler to live forced to weigh his options and act. A return from each district within the region would ancestor—Jung Bahadur Kunwar-Rana. wasn’t surprising that Americans picked up rational king or an emotional ruler? Time will allowed to raise armed forces. It may be tend to take projects to their constituen- systems, or healthcare. Federalism and bottom line is to empower the people so up to. But history can’t be a casualty to these to Mahendra-style fundamentalism is not Perhaps it is no coincidence that King even the salaries of government employees in tell, but one thing is certain: there is no room determine the size of the assemblies. The delegated some policing role. cies, often in eastern Nepal, and many weakpolitical decentralisation would also helpthat they can chart their own destiny. worthy exercises. King Birendra respected the possible because democracy has by now struck members of the village assemblies would Mahendra began his direct rule after the the wake of the overthrow of parliamentary roots deep in the Nepali soil. Thepeople may for any kind of extremism in this politically The regional legislative body should districts in western Nepal get left out. achieve equity across different regions democracy. King Mahendra’s direct rule was status quo, and when changes had to be made, elect the governor, avoiding a conflict of 1960 coup by revising the civil code that he ensured that they were orderly and gradual.have rejected politicians for the moment, charged atmosphere. A constitutional monarch, not pass laws that contradict national The central government will also be within a country. bankrolled by greenbacks. by definition, has to be a judicious mix of the interest between the governor and the Jung Bahadur had framed, which was itself Call him constitutionalist if you will, but he but politics continues to rule their hearts. laws. Any disputes must be settled in themore efficient in dealing with five regional It is likely that such a proposal would The region’s geopolitical environment had wisdom of contemplation and the power of assembly members. modelled after the Napoleonic Code that was no progressive. With the insurgency raging in the country- Supreme Court. governments rather than a host of highly fall within the intersecting domain of Jung saw in France. Apart from a promise tochanged by the time King Birendra ascended to emotion. The responsibility of a true leader is It was due to King Birendra’s extreme side, conservatism of the doing-things-the- The governor appoints a district officer heterogeneous and fragmented district negotiation of the political forces compet- ban untouchability, there isn’t much in the throne in 1972. After the setbacks in done-way can’t be the escape route either. to resolve the conflicts and manage the A parallel judiciary system, which is notunits. In addition, the provision of a direct ing currently: the government and the King Mahendra’s Muluki Ain that can be Vietnam, the Americans were on the verge of cautiousness that the referendum he declared contradictions inherent in any system. or commissioner—a career civil servant— King Gyanendra has the task of finding a voting mechanism ensures accountability, Maoists. It may even lure the rebels back to called progressive. withdrawing from world hot spots. The Non turned out to be an instrument intended to for each district to coordinate developmentdiscussed here, needs to be worked on buy time for the Panchayat regime. Had he way forward, taking into account these hard eventually to fit the proposed institutional and puts into place checks and balances. the negotiating table. Luckily, Nepal does King Mahendra’s faithful courtiers extolledAligned Movement was running out of steam realities. efforts, but the district-level entity will not been more accommodating, BP Koirala mechanism. A constitutional provision is Five regional governments in a geographi- not suffer from a separatist movement as in the virtues of the divine king as outlined by as countries like Egypt and India drifted into have the authority to levy taxes. wouldn’t have died a broken man, with his I didn’t take notes when I was granted an needed to devolve power to the regional cally challenged country like Nepal will Kautilya in his the Soviet camp. To continue cautiously with Reduce the size of VDCs and the the status quo was perhaps the only choice life’s mission of restoring democracy not even government and reduce the functionality ofwork, especially in the context of growing number of ward representatives. (Alok K Bohara is professor of economics that King Birendra had, and conservatism partially fulfilled. It took a People’s Movement the district-level entity in order to avoid regional sentiments vis-à-vis the centre of Arthashastra, and missed seeing at the University of New Mexico, USA and became the defining feature of his rule. Let’s The governors pick experts who are not and reduce duplication, conflicts, and the the futility of discovering a new utopia in members of the assembly to form the earned his Ph D at the University of nostalgia for an imagined past. Fortunately forface it: King Birendra was a likeable person expenses of coordination. cabinet. This ensures that there is no Colorado in Boulder.) King Mahendra, there was a school of thought Unlike the republic demanded by the conflict of interest between the lawmakers in the United States at that time which believed gruesome event. That is, if we combat “terrorism”. The call for the haven’t got insensitised by watching clean and seems to show that heKoirala. Maoists to “surrender” their arms too many of them. has the long-term interest of the does not make sense, since vertiginous speed. I can see our country at heart. He was forced to surrendering arms means surrender- same errors repeated again and Those of us involved in mediabred irresponsibility by encourag- ing politicians and “intellectuals”set to up a “jumbo cabinet” to protect ing. Politics in Nepal is like trying again by politicians, insurgents,(or in our own voyeurism)LETTERS have only VOYEURS take to the Courts that which shouldhimself from being overthrown. But to hold the World Cup in Dasaraththe consistent efforts she has madevacant, parochial, extraneous BLUBBER media and civil society. Presentingto think for one moment about how be resolved in the political fieldhe of lacks ideological steadfastness Stadium: it just doesn’t work exceptto make Nepali poems accessibleNepali psyche (Dixit’s version), but In your editorial (“Voyeurs,” #90)news in a sensationalistic and we would feel if the body in the Hari Pokharel, Taiwan Kunda Dixit must be a hell of a Parliament and the “King-in- and has surrounded himself with the on paper. to an English reading public (Whenrather the consequence and you strongly criticised Nepal aggressive way, only generates news is our mother, father, brother, most corrupt ministers. The I am saddened and disap- character to be writing the Television and its viewers for Parliament”. No constitution is is Nepali literature ever the subjectdefining feature of the losses andpopular and nonpareil column either more violence or completesister, daughter, son, or friend to allegations that Deuba is pro-royalpointed by the dirty game played converting the insurgency conflict perfect, and neither is the 1990 of conversation in postcolonial/contradictions inherent in Under My Hat. Ironic though, I insensitivity in the long run. Theunderstand the pain, grief and and undemocratic are baseless.by Nepali Congress president Girija as a “spectator sport” and not Constitution of Nepal. Except in comparative literature circles?),modernity. So let it not be said don’t understand one bit of little voyeur we all have inside (notanger such exhibition would Marrying into an elite family is Prasadnot Koirala. He doesn’t seem to respecting the dignity of the very clear cases of the breach of and second, to reinstate the pointagain that Thapa’s translations, whator he says. There are, only Nepalis) can turn very sooncause to us. his fault. His ideology, as far as careI that the Maoists are spreading dead. This was reinforced by CK the law, it is best to leave the she makes too subtly: translationtranslations is in general, are not therefore, two possibilities— be a monster or be completely know, has no link to his marriage.across the country, he doesn’t care Lal in (“Amusing ourselves to mistakes and adjustments of the never a neutral act of writing or used or interpreted through either he is a genius and I am indifferent and it is mainly from the Deuba is no saint, but it is now awhat the Nepali people want: all he death,” #91). That is why I am parliamentary process to the reading. multiple political registers that area jenny ass, or vice versa. media that he gets his nourishment. question of who is the best in a wants is power and he is out to get it baffled by the fact that you political sphere. Judges must not G Buddhiman, by email In the 6-14 June edition of direct commentaries on the stateHaving lived in the US for It moves me more (and I believe mediocre pile. by hook or crook. At least this time published right alongside a develop into political headmasters. of current politics. Furthermore,several let years, I have, to this others as well) to see a picture of the Deuba was doing something to Nepali Times Kanak Dixit (“The gruesome photograph of dead the writer be assured that she hasdate, never had the privilege of persons involved in a tragedy, when crush the Maoists. He called for HEART-TOUCHING Valley of Halla,” #46) cited the last corpses in a trench. There are more than one curious reader reading such incoherent they lived a happier situation, dialogue, which didn’t work. Koirala six lines of Bhupi Sherchan’s epic either conflicting interests or lack I was touched by Megh Ranjani visiting her columns. And this oneblubber. This year when I visit because there I can realise and feel is jealous of Deuba because he is poem “This is a country of hearsay of clarity on how to present news Rai’s “Midnight memoirs” (#95). It is grateful for the effort. my home for Tihar, I would be the magnitude of the loss. The gaining popularity. That is why he saddened me and shook me. Beingand rumour” to provoke a critique or move the public in the present BASU KSHITIJ IN BUDHABAR honoured if Kunda could spare image of the tragedy itself normally wants to pull him down. Koirala regarding the proliferation and situation. away from home is hard. Yet, some time and explain some of repels us, even more so if it is a Karin Eichelkraut, Patan should think about his country and The Nepali Congress has doneimplements in a constitutional dissemination of rumours and knowing that I have a dream to his columns to me. It is very painful for me to see not just about himself. it again. The nation is in the midstmethod the policies and programsfollow, and the knowledge and skillsconspiracy theories in the wake of of the party for the benefit of the Nepal following the steps of SOMEWHERE IN NEPAL Mithun Jung, Naxal BP Bastakoti, UK of a crisis in every imaginable way that I acquire here will make methe royal family killings. Dixit Sepideh Bajracharya, Colombia (my country) at a and its so-called leaders are busypeople and the country. Here, theresourceful to my motherland istraced the circulation of rumour to The issue of whether or not the Neither Deuba nor Koirala are Cambridge, USA In parliamentary democracy it is in their utterly disgusting power word “benefit” is used in its aes- what gives me energy to move the “mediocrity” of the Nepali the prerogative of the Prime country can bear an untimely democrats. Deuba is the prime struggle. I have never been a greatthetic sense. Regarding the issueahead. of But the news from Nepalintellect. is I have a limited knowledge of Minister to seek dissolution of the election (“The next six months,”minister and above the party Basu Shrestha, USA fan of Nepali politics but I haveextending the state of emergencyso gloomy and frustrating. We don’tIn what I consider to be a Nepali literature, but over the Dr Govinda Luitel, elected chamber, and call for #96) can be debated forever. Butleader, and he must see the vis-a-vis the tussle between Deuba Hats off to Kunda Dixit ("One never hated it as much as I do now want to lose the hope that one daydistinctly political move (and oneyears, I have read and been Washington DC, USA elections, and (except in excep-the fact is that the constitution national interest above party either. I have seen the royal and Koirala, did Deuba register soonthe peace and happiness will be fascinated by the works of Bhupi year later", #96) for giving us that I happen to agree with entirely) tional circumstances) the constitu-gives the prime minister the interest. The extension of the massacre, the Maobadi’s opportun-proposal to extend the state of restored and our beautiful home- Sherchan and the translations of balanced news. Yes, the roles of the Thapa provided Timesthe with a tional monarch is expected to prerogative. Party president Girijaemergency rested on parliament, ism and dozens of Nepali deathsemergency without the knowledgeland will bloom with the glory of his poetry into English by Rupa king and the prime minister should agree (“Who’s the boss?” by PuskarPrasad Koirala should reflect uponso he should have had an open being reduced to mere statistics,and consent of his party? Just oneharmony and prosperity. Thankscomplete to translation of Sherchan’sJoshi (cca 1985), Kunda Dixit (ccaCORRECTION Bhusal, #96). The 1994 interven- debate in house before deciding.be like that ofnang ra masu, which question to Premier Deuba: poem, thereby allowing us to read his past: under what circumstances but there is a limit. I, at least, Megh Ranjani Rai for her heart- 1978), and recently by In “The war in numbers” (page tion by the Supreme Court, setting On the other hand, Koirala should Shouldn’t he have conveyed his the last six lines in the context of did he dissolve the House of I believe both King Gyanendra and deserve to be spared of worldwide touching words. Manjushree Thapa. A friend of 7, #96) please disregard the aside the dissolution sought by PM have debated the issue first in the justification to the people and the the rest of the poem. She thus Representatives in 1995? What Prime Minister Deuba can be. I wish humiliation because of this mine (a white, male blue-collarthree extra zeros in the second Manmohan Adhikari, and accepted party central committee. Again, Deubahe all the best in the coming nation through national TV, radio, revealed Sherchan’s position on would he do if it were he who was ridiculous clash of egos. Give me a worker) was in Nepal recently andsentence which should read: by the late King Birendra, may be took a unilateral decision to expel and the print media on the rumour to be very different from the expelled from the party? Koirala election and believe that we have a break. I just want no news about just read me Manjushree “According to the human rights debated for its merits and demerits, Deuba from the party without morning of 23 May? Every action one implied by Dixit. has been the most irresponsible brighter future in King Gyanendra Nepal for a month. Is that asking Thapa’s "Mid-column blues" organisation INSEC 2,883 but it set the bad precedent of consultations. How can three of the government stinks of member of the party, and his (and Prime Minister Deuba), and too much? Rumour here was not being (#95) in its entirety over the Nepalis have died in clashes interjecting legal mediation in people punish a leader elected thatby they can lead us out of the hindsight coverup. The Maoists Palden Lama, Australia actions have imperilled the party portrayed as the reflection of a phone. Do you need any more between security forces and the basically political matters. It millions of Nepalis? Yes, democ-mess that we are in. I personally were declared “terrorists” because of and the nation. Prime Minister encouragement? Maoists during the country’s six- contributed to further weakening racy in Nepal is in danger. But it is the greed for foreign funds to Sher Bahadur Deuba is a politician like His Majesty’s no-nonsense RUMOUR MONGERS month insurgency.” The error is the post of Prime Minister, and too, but at least he is relatively because of dictators like Deuba attitude.and In response to Manjushree Thapa's regretted. -Ed Sajju Khatiwada, via email Nepaliliterature column (“Mid- The prime minister is a column blues,” #95) I want to first Nirmal Niroula, University Grieving widow at Satbaria. extend a note of appreciation for

SAPUT Sameer Rana, Wisconsin, USA member of the ruling party and of Kentucky, Lexington, USA functioning. The Centre started treating patients five years ago when a German woman Beate Vogt decided to donate dialysis machines to Bir Hospital. When she realised how much red tape that would involve, she gave the machines to Nepal Kidney Centre instead. Vogt has donated 16 machines already and comes to Nepal once a year with supplies 444 NATION 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES NATIONand medication for kidney 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES 555 patients. The Centre, which is funded entirely by Vogt, charges between Rs 2,500 and Rs 3,000 per session. Unlike a dialysis International Newspapers session at Bir Hospital, patients The world has been a ‘global village’ for on-demand print do not need not to organise any of the other essentials such as the and the distribution of international newspapers. You can The worst disease for a Nepali order your favorite newspaper from a collection of 100 dailies artificial kidneys or tubes. The Centre has set aside two machines including IHT, The Times, The Washington Post, WSJ, USA Options are limtied for people whose kidneys fail in Nepal. There are few dialysis facilities here, thefor patients with HIV/AIDS and Today, Le Monde, Sueddeuthsche Zeitung, La Stampa, He knows this will not last Hepatitis B and C. “The main Mainichi Shimbun, El Pais, Basler Zeitung, Berlingske forever. “All the other people who law on organ transplants is vague, and there is said to be a dangerous, illegal trade in kidneys. drawback of this disease is the Tidende, Aftenposten etc… We hand-deliver fresh copies were undergoing dialysis when I ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ expense. The wealthy may be able started have already died, I’m every morning. For a detailed list and price, please call us to afford dialysis all their lives, today: ALOK TUMBAHANGPHEY quite a survivor,” he says, smiling but it’s a curse to even middle- ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ take the risk, a strong mafia is said bravely. Motivated by his class families. In countries outside Bazaar International, Phone: 255125 Fax: 229 437 ntil a year ago, Jeet Bahadurto control the kidney trade, which struggles, Dhana has become Pun was like many young the law forces underground. SAARC the cost per session is at E-mail: [email protected] actively involved in helping others least $200. We charge $40, but UNepalis, living and working The alternative, haemodialy- like himself, as well as trying to how can you expect most Nepalis far from home. The 25-year-old sis, is expensive and traumatic, raise awareness about renal to afford this?” asks Dr Kafle. put in long hours at a gas station especially for underprivileged disease and what can be done For people like Dhana and Jeet, in Saudi Arabia to send money people and those without a strongabout it. This year he along with doctors say the only the only back to his family in Dhanja in the social support network. Jeet other patients he met at Bir feasible way to live with the insurgency-hit district of Baglung. makes the eight-hour journey Hospital started a non-profit condition is to have a kidney Jeet had been feeling out of sorts forfrom Baglung to the capital twice called the Nepal Kidney Patients transplant. It’s not a perfect some time, always fatigued and a week. Since there is no one to Association, which is trying to set solution, but it can go a long way in nauseated. When he started having take care of him here and he mustup a network of ESRD patients. making life easier for them. The to take bathroom breaks constantly arrange everything, from food and Dhana’s never-say-die and realised he was rapidly losing problems with organ transplants, accommodation to medication, byattitude is perhaps one of the books and on the ground, people weight, Jeet finally went to a doctor and kidney transplants in particular, himself, his costs are higher than reasons he has received so much candidate, just as he did in the last like Dhana and Jeet will continue and was told that his kidneys were are legion. First there is the law. the normal Rs 20,000 or so per media attention. Unfortunately, backed out a year ago when they elections in 1999. “There needs to to be forced to hustle, despite failing fast. month. The only other dialysis The Nepal Human Body Organ their illness, and find ways to raise the media usually fails to see what ALL PICS:ALOKTUMBAHANGPHEY faced the legal challenges. At the be a professional voice in parlia- By the time he got home, Jeet’s facility in the country is even Transplant Act 2055 was created this dying man is really fighting mately 35 with acute kidney failure, very least, say doctors who work ment. It is precisely when they the millions they don’t have that illness had progressed to end-stage farther away for Jeet, at the BP without consulting any medical are needed for dialysis and for. A three-hour dialysis session which is reversible a year. professionals with adequate with kidney failure, the governmentformulate laws on things like renal disease (ESRD), a result of Koirala Memorial Cancer prohibitively expensive medica- at one of the three functioning loss, we have not stopped Almost every private hospital knowledge of transplant surgery. could ensure that the medication is medical matters that professional chronic renal insufficiency. In lay Hospital in Dharan. tion. Alternatively, they will be machines at Bir Hospital costs Rs anyone’s treatment. Most produced domestically, which advice is necessary,” explains Dr language, his kidneys had been Dhana Lama is in some ways provides dialysis, but at a cost that Article 15 (4) of the Act asks have to get involved in a murky 250. Patients need the procedure times were at the Bir Hospital in anpatients just cannot even afford doctors to certify that the donor of would significantly reduce the Shah. He says he doesn’t have deteriorating for some years and hadluckier. Dhana, now 30, also is usually ten times higher than that struggle to find an illegal donor, twice a week—three times, if you interview with a local newspaper, it. They drop out by themselves any organ will not immediately die financial burden on patients. political ambitions, but merely by then pretty much stopped suffers from ESRD and has been charged by Bir Hospital. This is or go to India for expensive follow international therapeutic the medical staff there refused to after a few months.” The hospital or become disabled due to the Dr Shah says he is so frus- wants to be able to practice functioning and were unable to on haemodialysis for the last why Dr Rishi Kafle, a nephrologist, surgery. norms—and each time a new set treat him when he returned. “We recently acquired two more donation, and article 15 (5) asks trated, he plans to make his voicemedicine with full freedom. excrete toxins, which was why Jeet three years. Kathmandu-based set up the National Kidney Centre, of apparatus is required, includingknow that we are getting treatment computer-operated dialysis doctors to certify that the organ heard by contesting the next Unless things change, in the law was experiencing such a multitude Dhana pays for his treatment with a not-for-profit hospital that treats artificial kidneys, pipes and at a very cheap rate but the nurses machines. The nephrology kidney problems. There has been no donated will grow back naturally. elections as an independent of symptoms. the help of donations from people From top left: Dr Sudha Khakurel, head of nephrology at Bir Hospital; Dhana Lama undergoing dialysis; one of Bir syringes to pull and transport and doctors sometimes act as department of the hospital and Liver transplants, thus, are allowed, who read about him in the papers official survey of the scale of renal Jeet soon realised that this is blood, saline water, as well as thoughHospital’s our three lives computerisedmean nothing, dialysis as ifpatients machines; like andDhana the artificallobbied kidneys the purifying Dhana’s blood. because the donor’s body regener- occasionally. Dhana, who says he problems in Nepal, but specialists one of the worst diseases a poor buckets. Add to this the costs of they are doing us a favour,” says Ministry of Finance for months in ates those parts of the liver than are has always been very independent, such as Dr Kafle estimate that person can have in Nepal. To live the expensive imported medica- Dhana, recalling how a renowned order to be able to take posses- taken out. Kidneys do not “grow is from a lower-middle class nearly 2,200 patients seek even a semblance of a normal life, tion the patient needs, and the surgeon came up to him after the sion of the machines—the back”, and even though a person family and lives in a three-room treatment every year for chronic he either had to find a donor and monthly medical expenses of a interview and called him a threat tohospital administration could not can function with only one kidney, house with his father, a brother renal failure. The numbers might have a kidney transplant, or have person with renal failure are as the survival of the hospital. pay the customs duty due on donating it becomes illegal, doctors with a drug problem and an seem low, but the danger of ESRD his blood drained, purified and much as Rs 20,000. Dr Sudha Khakurel, head of them and the machines were have no way of proving that there is ageing aunt. He managed to finish is that patients often do not even pumped back in two three-hour Dhana says that what makes life stuck at customs for two months. no causal relation between the his ISc from the Nepal Science nephrology at Bir Hospital admits know their kidneys are failing them sessions every week. A transplant for someone like him truly hard Bir Hospital currently treats 22 removal of a kidney and death, even Campus and was working towards that mistakes can sometimes until both the kidneys stop would be cheaper in the long run, isn’t just the burden of having to patients with chronic renal a few years down the line. a BSc from Tri-chandra College, happen but also tells us about the if Jeet could first find a donor and treat an expensive disease, but also good her department is doing. insufficiency a week, and approxi- Second, there simply aren’t then spend at least Rs 1 million funding his education by doing the sometimes unprofessional “You have to understand that al enough trained transplant surgeons for the entire procedure, after odd jobs—sometimes he was a attitude of the nurses and even the though we are running at a severe in Nepal. For kidneys, there are which he’d have to take expensivecomputer technician, at other doctors. When Dhana complained only two, Dr Asarfi Shah and Dr drugs all his life. times a dye master like his about how rude the nurses some- father—when his kidneys started Ashok Rana. Dr Shah performed But transplants aren’t really three successful kidney transplants an option in Nepal: the law is to fail three years ago. Today, Dhana has still not in 1996 “within the limited vague, and even if one of the few perimeters of the law” at the Senate support found a donor and the dialysis ○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ trained professionals who can Everest Nursing Home. Dr Shah machine is his only link to life. perform the procedure wants to says that the problem isn’t just that Nepal might soon receive US funds to support the fight against the Maoists. A 29 May report of the US Senate Committee on Appropriations the law is vague, but that it is notes that the US administration proposes to provide funds to Nepal to unlikely to be changed. “The support the government’s campaign against “a ruthless Maoist insur- people who can change the gency”. The report further states that, “the Committee is not aware of any regulations to allow legal, safe information tying this insurgency to al Qaeda, but shares the administra- tion’s concern for the security and welfare of the Nepalese people.” While kidney transplants do not do so the report condemns the atrocities committed by the Maoist guerrillas, it because the mafia that controls the HERE AND THERE by DANIEL LAK expresses concern about human rights violations by Nepali armed forces. illegal trade in kidneys is too powerful,” says Dr Shah. He mentions that foreign investors interested in transplant operations Aid worker killed ○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Peace by any means The execution of a Nepali aid worker by Maoists in Bajhang has sent shock waves through Nepal’s development community. News filtering in from the western district says that IL Joshi, PLAN International’s Bajhang any of us grew up with nuclear nightmares haunting our sleep. My program manager, was taken from his residence at 2.30 AM on 31 May mother told me in the most fearful possible terms about the If America’s attack on Afghanistan after 11 September was justified, the and executed later that day near the Rayal PLAN office. Joshi had worked for PLAN International for more than a decade. The Maoists had MAmerican-Cuban missile crisis of 1962 when Nikita Khurshchev sameof international coalition has the right to take any measures to earlier attacked the seven development units Plan was operating in the the Soviet Union and President Kennedy stood eyeball to eyeball and district, following which all staff had been evacuated from the area. brought the world as close to nuclear war as it’s ever been. In the 1980s,prevent I nuclear war in South Asia. joined various nuclear disarmament movements calling upon the successors Nepal’s tourism industry who expects any sort of recovery anytime soon is to Kennedy and Khrushchev to realise the folly of their ways. In a sense, the deluding themselves. The final nail is being driven into the coffin of tourism east-west stand-off ended perfectly, with the demise of Soviet communism here by the very existence of Pakistani and Indian nuclear arsenals. Help Nepal and the broadening of the church of liberal democracy to encompass all There is a glimmer of something that might—in time—become hope, ○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ forms of political thought that embrace freedom. and it lies in those peace marches of the 1980s that I remember as part of a HELP NEPAL Network, a charity supported by Nepalis living around the jaded, faraway youth. Nuclear weapons are not the internal concern of any world, organised a HELP NEPAL Day simultaneously in the UK, Australia, But those nuclear weapons remained, rusting in their missile silos or Italy and Nepal last weekend, raising over £2,000 for future projects. submarine launch tubes. And other countries eyed them with envy and one country. They respect no borders, their fallout is born by the winds, Established in 1999 to encourage Nepalis abroad to give back to the determination. Too young to remember the horror of impending war in the their victims must be cared for by all of us. Similarly, we have every right, in country, HELP NEPAL Network has raised some £19,000 for charitable causes in Nepal and helped build schools and libraries in remote districts early 1960s, I’ll never forget the events of May 1998 when both India and this region and around the world, to acquaint India and Pakistan with our feelings, to devise regimes of sanctions and punitive actions that might help like Dolpa, Dang and Pyuthan, and organised health camps in Chitwan Pakistan went overtly nuclear. At the time, India’s newly-elected coalition and Kathmandu. government was mired in political infighting and I continue to believe that deter the use of atomic bombs. If America was justified in attacking there was more than element of domestic politics in Prime Minister Atal Afghanistan after 11 September, you could argue that the same interna- Behari Vajapyee’s decision to test the country’s existing nuclear weapons. tional coalition has the right to take whatever measure it can to prevent Across the Line of Control, an embattled Nawaz Sharif watched with nuclear war in South Asia, from coercive diplomacy to pre-emptive strikes Getting the vote trepidation and took phone call after phone call from Washington, Japan on nuclear facilities and launch areas. Beyond that, the world must get ○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ and European capitals. Each voice down the line would outline a more involved in resolving issues that provoke hostilities, from Pakistan’s support The date for the mid-term polls is fixed, but voters still don’t have their for terrorist groups across the Line of Control, to the matter of Kashmir. IDs. If the government goes ahead with its initial plan of allowing only generous offer—a bribe, if you like—of cash, loans and debt relief if Sharif the voters’ ID holders to cast their ballots, 3.4 million eligible Nepalis will didn’t respond to the Indian tests. He considered them all, very, very Citizens of South Asia must put aside petty problems and domestic differences and acquaint the two giants of the region with their feelings. E- not be able to vote. The government had planned to issue 4.2 million seriously. But in the end it was impossible for a civilian prime minister—political reasons. If nuclear weapons had a moral or military justification at voter IDs bythe end of the current fiscal year, but only about 820,000 mails to governments, letters, rallies and delegations to hostile capitals are governing on sufferance from a powerful army—to avoid ordering that all, it was the Cold War theory that they deterred conventional war and have been handed out so far. The teams assigned to photograph Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal be wheeled out and put through its paces. A kept each side’s dirty tricks within privately agreed parameters. But on thegood places to start. voters for their cards have been unable to get to rural areas in 43 The late King Birendra once proposed making this region a Zone of districts due to the insurgency. The Election Commission is undecided Pakistani public celebrated with glee—a grim and horrible mirror of India’scurrent evidence, nuclear weapons have only heightened tensions in South on its course of action. If, as in previous elections, it recognises that own joy at its perceived place at the nuclear top table. Asia, increased the dangers inherent in fifty year-old hostilities, made it farPeace. The time is right to renew that idea with vigour. We must insist that all adult Nepalis with citizenship certificates may vote, the govern- In short, two huge, influential yet poverty-ridden countries committedmore likely that the entire region must suffer when the enemies posture andfuture generations have the right to live in peace, prosperity and freedom ment needs to promulgate an ordinance to legalise the decision. acts of immense risk and potentially fatal insanity, arguably for domesticpuff out their chests. If India and Pakistan possessed only conventional from fear. weapons, foreign government would not issue travel warnings about distant capital cities and—crucially—neighbouring states. By the way, anyone in 666 NATION 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES ECONOMY 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES 777 SOMEWHERE IN NEPAL by PUSKAR BHUSAL ECONOMIC SENSE by ARTHA BEED Hang economics Comradely conduct funding the attendance of cadre at dohori parties, it would go. Every to dissolve the house was taken to court Stop thinking about the economy. Watchbilateral and football multilateral agency instead. in What’s behind the UML’s calm rationality in dealing within 1995, this UML luminariespolitical know they crisis? town has been going on about good ven as the improvisational, there is no Finance Minister in a governance, and seeing the lack of ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ have to plan for every contingency. To those who wonder how a government witty-repartee-filled practice of country which needs to lobby hard progress on that front, they are dohori catches on in restaurants internationally to fund its gaping ach time Prime Minister Sher with being the second largest party in that was forced to put off the local E understandably chary of pouring in deficit. The speeches and loud Bahadur Deuba and Nepali Con- parliament. Although they were entitled to elections could hold the parliamentary in the capital, the dohori between the more money here. The window of stalwarts of the Nepali Congress promises to punish revenue evaders, opportunity to garner much-needed Egress president Girija Prasad raising the loudest voice against Deuba, polls on schedule, the comrades point to proves that they remain very much of the vows to put our fiscal house in funds is short. As the global focus Koirala pause to lighten their larynxes, UML leaders chose to be even-handed. that basic civic duty: trust your leader. (I their designated spokesmen, Jaya PrakashSure the prime minister had blundered the people, capable of trading veiled order—all this succumbed to the shifts to our almost-warring personally resent the comparison. The demands made by party ideologies and Prasad Gupta and Arjun Narsingh KC, badly in dissolving the lower house on the and open insults in the best bucolic neighbours, it’s getting harder to government could afford to postpone the whimsical diktats issued by crotchety step in to provide enough firepower to eve of the budget session without informing tradition. A number of readers have keep Nepal on anyone’s radar. local elections because it didn’t endanger asked the Beed to see where the politicians. Perhaps, when it maintain the momentum of the war of his finance minister. But wasn’t the ruling Nepal’s leaders are myopic the constitution.) If their official doctrine of economy is going, in light of the becomes clear that we need more words. It was the spokesman of the mainparty being a little too pushy? politically, and they display the same atheism hadn’t stood in the way, UML interesting events unfolding. than one person to put the country’s opposition party, however, who had the While Koirala was seeing conspiracies unfortunate defect in vision when it leaders would be telling us wonderful stories Elections mean one thing above finances in order, not a single comes to economics. We can look most heart-warming thing to say about of all colours and Deuba was telling us about the magnificent power of belief. person is enthused enough to raise the current political crisis. The UML was all else to the some of us: spending, forward to more of the same— how long he was behind bars fighting for UML leaders know they wouldn’t be spending, spending. Administering his or her hand for the job. entertaining, but ultimately irrelevant always in favour of mid-term polls, our freedoms, UML general secretary preparing for elections today if the polls is an enormous drain on the The Beed is told that the budget isrumours about grand designs, the Pradeep Nepal said, but couldn’t demand Madhav Kumar Nepal cautioned NepalisNepali Congress had heeded Koirala’s coffers of the state anyway, and the ready for promulgation and that with threat to democracy, expansionist one because of the burden it would put to think with cooler minds. A country one-man-two-posts counsel. That’s why fact that the elections will undoubt- no parliament in place, no debates are agendas and their opposite. The on the country and people. desensitised by a decade of distrust they are closely observing every act in the edly be staggered over a few days, necessary. The corridors of power in Beed is able to this time also, as Those distressed by the UML’s shouldn’t pay attention to another plot-ruling party. What does the Kangresi together with the additional Bagh Darbar will have a free hand, butalways, point to a distinctly shiny growing irrelevance to oppositional against-democracy story without suffi- patriarch have up his sleeves now? Sure, spending on security, means that theshould we even waste our energy beingedge to all of this. In the economic politics are indeed delighted by the cient corroborating evidence. The UML’sKoirala’s visit to China was planned elections this year will probably be concerned. After all, as has been ranking of nations, things should comrades’ abiding respect for the self-assurance stands in sharp contrast tobefore the latest crisis. But that doesn’t the most expensive ever for Nepal. pointed out in this column more than soon stop going from bad to worse people’s will. You have to study the its street-fighting and desk-banging obscure a crucial fact. For the first time The parties will no doubt find it once, budgets are increasingly for Nepal—we only need to slip context to grasp the real significance of trademark. And this has raised new since Dr KI Singh trudged up north after difficult to garner the funds they need becoming meaningless for Nepal, in down four more positions. part because revenue and expendi- their stance. In the post-Deuba council questions. How could a group of rationalthe Rakshya Dal uprising in January 1952 to fight the elections—business has So, instead of contemplating ture figures are revised so often. of ministers being worked out under people be so certain about the inevitabil-has a politician in the middle of a political been bad and businessmen will be economic doomsday, your columnist Koirala’s broader democratic alliance, theity of elections before the Supreme Court terribly reluctant to fund candidates. Already subject to new, befuddling will now, with your leave, devote storm taken a trans-Himalayan trip. taxes, the business community now job of deputy prime minister—complete ruled on the lawsuit challenging Deuba’s Every time someone christens a There are very few deals in sight for some quality time to a large-screen with the home portfolio—was to have late-night feat? Moreover, how could anyone. But the real fear lies in rural truly fears the unpredictability of television. And after the World Cup opposition leaders be so sure that the modern-day Tulsi Giri in the Nepali areas and insurgency-hit areas—it will the coming budget, and year. is over, perhaps we can talk about gone to the UML. Having been in power Congress, the people tend to turn left during two of the last three elections, theplanetary positions on 13 November be virtually impossible to raise any Nepal has managed to draw Nepali football. Thereby, too, hangs would be propitious to a free and fair and look for a Rayamajhi. That makes funds to contest polls there, and there international attention to its a grim tale. UML was looking forward to the benefits our comrades uneasy, especially since our of incumbency ahead of the fourth. assessment of the people’s will? is a real possibility that the political problems, and some countries are original Dr Keshar Jung became the first parties will take the extortion route thatwilling to help. Unfortunately, there (Remember: reassigning top administra- It’s easy to see how a newly reunifiedhead of a constitutional body to have tion and police officials is the second has proven so successful in the past. are no plans in place through which UML saw a clear advantage in the mid- come out in full support of Deuba’s we can help ourselves, or channel important pre-election task, after the None of this will do anything to term poll and jumped for it. But there’s determination. any aid we might get. If $100 designation of polling centres, and comes make people more committed to more to the comrades’ stance than meets democratic party politics. million were to pour in right now, under the home minister.) With Deuba’sthe eye. Having burnt their fingers Everything gets complicated when no one knows where, apart from pre-emptive strike, the UML lost the relying so much on precedent when prime perks, privileges and prestige that comesminister Man Mohan Adhikary’s decision (Readers may post their views at [email protected].)

INTERVIEW

and involves farmers. Are you planning more value addition in Nepal? Frankly, we are hesitant. The benefits we get in many Indian states are now EASY TIMES much better than those we get in Nepal. We were planning to make “We need a pineappletotal and tomato concentrate change in Nepal. Last week we were approached in the It’s never been easier to subscribe to by West Bengal state and given a unique package—capital subsidy of 25 Nepali Times. percent, interest subsidy of 60 percent for seven years—and we have Just dial this number and leave decided to take the plant to Siliguri. We decided to go there because of your address. what they were giving us. is one of South Asia’s largest juice manufacturing units, with a capacity of Government has to accept that companies like ours help the economic 6,000 litres permindset hour. of government.” growth of Nepal. You get a sense the bureaucracy feels that industries just How much, in total, have you invested in Nepal? loot the country, motivated by profits. Well, everybody is motivated by We have invested Rs 1.1 billion and now the annual turnover isprofit: around we purchase cheaper goods in the market and make a profit, even if Rs 2.6 billion, we are aiming at Rs 3 billion next year. We exportit isabout only 92psychological. Profit isn’t a bad word. Second, government should percent of our products; local sales are about Rs 220 million. Investmentsbe willing made to go out of its way to help any industry that wants to come here. for the long term are beneficial to both company and the country asAll a industrieswhole. have a multiplier effect and boost the economy. There’s What motivated you to come to Nepal? another factor: we wanted some forest land, and we didn’t get it. After Medicinal plants are widely available in Nepal. We not only collectwaiting them for inmany years, we are now thinking of shifting the plantations to the wild, we also plant them because we know they are a resourceIndia. that Iwill cannot wait forever. finish one day. We have a unique state-of-the-art greenhouse thatHow produces will the new Nepal-India treaty affect Dabur? Is Nepal still attrac- three million saplings of medicinal plants and herbs every year.tive We toare Indian investors? cultivating the saplings in 12 locations like Marpha, Manang, Jumla,We won’t be affected. I think there’s still room to invest here. If any industry Sindhupalchowk, Dolakha and in the tarai. We give farmers saplingssays withit cannot achieve 30 percent value addition, I think it is doing buy-back guarantee. We have also donechiraito well with, which even something wrong. People shouldn’t worry about the value addition. On the

MIN BAJRACHARYA scientists said could not be raised in a greenhouse. ThenTaxus there matteris the of surge of the five items, we have the quota system. I feel canalisa- baccata. We have our own plantations on leased lands that grow overtion has caused some problems and India must do something about it. Dabur Nepal produces over 20 products Copper has been affected. The entire copper industry shouldn’t be 800,000 saplings. In five-six years we may be collecting from ourpenalised. own I think the Indian government will look into this. at its factories in Nepal, including someplantations. We estimate we need about 10 million trees for that. So we still can do business in Nepal? What happened to your saffron trials in Jumla? of the most successful brands of its Yes, provided Nepal cleans up its house and makes the right policies. Now We distributed 320,000 saffron bulbs in Jumla last year but we could stay there’s an export duty, the new industrial policy takes out tax holidays, parent Indian company. But Director TKthere only for four or five months to oversee cultivation. We think that can do there’s also talk of freezing royalty payments. The basic problem here is Gupta tells us the company could have well in Jumla, Humla many other places. Marpha has been anotherthat wegood make policies, laws and rules copying developed countries. We experiment. We grow medicinal herbs in between apple trees andshould as we make care rules and regulations suitable for us. done a lot more with better support for the plants, the apple trees also benefit. Where on one plot the owner got 543333 18 tons of apples before we began growing herbs, a year later heHave got theabout Indian quarantine rules been a problem for you? from the government. 30 tons. Last year the yield was 40 tons. We also took about half-a-dozenYes. We hope there will be at least two more checkpoints, in Birganj and beehives there, which helped pollination. one in Nepalganj. Now we have to send saplings all the way to Panitanki to send them to Indian markets. Saplings are very fragile and cannot survive Have you been affected by the recent spurt in violence? Nepali Times:You have been in Nepal for more than 10 years, what such trips. Even within Nepal the logistics are difficult and we’ve been using Not very badly. Local projects are looked after by locals, our staffhelicopters only make to transfer saplings to planting areas. have been your main achievements? supervisory visits. In one place one of our staff members was beaten up. TK Gupta: We began company registration in 1989 because the HimalayaJumla is badly affected. I think we haven’t been attacked because everyone is a storehouse of herbs and medicinal plants and also because understandsthere was a that what we are doing is good for the people and country. MISSING SIGNALS local market for our products. We wanted to sell about Rs 80 millionWe’ve worth helped improve the socio-economic conditions of the farmers. In the Indian and Pakistani media on India and Pakistan of products and collect medicinal plants and herbs. I came hereBesisahar first in area you can see the change for yourself. The lives of the people February 1991 and found that we were selling Rs 8-9 million worthhave of goodschanged after we began collectingTaxus baccata leaves. Plus: a year. I was passing through Asan and saw Dabur products on the footpath, Nepal must be a major success story, even for Dabur. Kanak Mani Dixit on selling at double our price. I told management that our market here was higher than that reflected. Yes. It can be for anyone who wants to tap agro-forestry products and make the army and the long term investments. Our business is long-term, it has backward integration We began trading in May 1991. In February 1992 we realised the people market was picking up and by November 1992 our factory had begun producing. In December 1992 the then Prime Minister PV Narashima Rao Slicing India: The visited Nepal and eased the procedural delays in export by allowing His Majesty’s Government to certify material content (50 percent). This was an 1954 Kumbha Mela opportunity, and in 1993 we began with major expansion. The renewal of On newsstands Monday! the treaty in 1996 was another impetus. We purchased a local fruit juice General factory and that was the beginning of Real juices, which are now the disappointment in leading fruit juices in India. All the products sold there go from Nepal. This Islamabad 888 FLYING 7 - 13 JUNE 2002NEPALI TIMES MOODS 7 - 13 JUNE 2002NEPALI TIMES 999 Cloudy KARNALI AIR

The monsoon’sof the monsoonhere itself again. a few weeks later is a Smetana symphony. You Go out andcan smellget the rainwet. long before it lightning. From high up on a ridge actually arrives. From the pass above Dhunche we watched above Pokhara, the clouds move transfixed as the afternoon sun was about among the Annapurnas like blotted out, and the snowy slopes the little curly puffs you see on of Langtang Lirung lost their light. thangka paintings. The sudden It suddenly became dark and silent change in high-altitude wind helicopter in Nepal. like an eclipse. Animals, humans, direction precisely between 10-15

and even the thirsty plants waited ALL PICS:KUNDADIXIT The Royal Nepal Army itself June over central Nepal every year drizzly nervously as a veil of violet rain is the first sign that the monsoon Helicopters overhas opted for Mi-17s and the HimalayaKUNDA DIXIT Helicopters over the Himalaya advanced from the west. operates three of these to will soon burst. Do you have what it takes to be a chopper pilot in Nepal? The wind picked up, the chines are rugged and cheap, they transport troops in its counter- By evening, the air suddenly are no match for the altitude poplars bent like bows: their RAMYATA LIMBU insurgency operations. It is now turns humid, a smell of warm PADAM GHALEY PADAM performance of another popular seeking to add more helicopters agitated leaves giving the quicken- wetness swells up from the model in Nepal: the French-built to its fleet, and may even need to ing air a voice. Plastic bags, startled valley below. A yellow moon hen the Mi-17 aviation in Nepal faces the Ecureil AS 350, which is operated birds and leaves were snatched by hire commercial pilots to fly the KUNDA DIXIT rises from behind a range of helicopter on a chronic hazards of what aviation ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ left literally high and dry in the sim-sime to heavier an ocean of vapour lapping at by the army, Karnali Air and additional helicopters it wants the flying yellow dust. The storm mountainous clouds to the east. ferry flight from experts call controlled flight into n the satellite pictures rain shadow. darkane and by early morning it the ridges below. They move others. Although much smaller to order. edged closer until the flash and They glow in the moonlight, and Makalu Base Camp terrain (CFIT)—the possibility ofthan the Mi-17 or even the they appear as large Pre-monsoon showers are crash became simultaneous. A is a torrentialmusal-dhare . up silently through the junipers, For Captain Sabin Basnyat, the inside of the clouds are failed to arrive in pilots misjudging altitude or Kawasaki BK-117, the Ecureil has dark masses of clouds cataclysmic events. Pumped by the delicate din approached as incandescent with silent Forget what the guidebooks soaking the lichens with WW position and flying into a moun- 25, flying choppers is a passion. droplets of condensation. WWWLukla on Friday morning last carried out helicopter rescues of travelling up from the heat, huge convection currents sendhailstones hit roofs of houses in the lightning. By nightfall, there is a say. Visit Nepal in the monsoon. week, Asian Airlines staff felt tain in poor visibility. But the mountaineers at record altitudes, “Flying in Nepal is addictive. The BayO of Bengal. The TV forecasters cauldrons of cumulus rising bazaar below. By evening, the Before noon, the rain starts adventure, the mountains, the sudden sharp coolness as the Everywhere, there is the sound the first twinges of concern. same dangerous vertical terrain is such as Madan KC’s dramatic warn you that “there is a bit of bad vertically into the atmosphere, pyrothechnics were over, the storm moisture turns into mist, and of falling water: big waterfalls falling steadily in that mara- A group of Spanish climbers also what makes helicopters are flight pick up of a climber from diverse terrain, it is a thrill you weather moving up to the sometimes more than 50,000 feet. had moved over to the east briefly thon-like pace of no-nonsense, get hooked on to.” In March this the mist in turn into a fine gauze that thunder right across the had just come in, and the so indispensable in the Himalaya. 20,000 ft on Mt Everest in 1996. Himalaya”. Bad weather? Up there in the stratosphere, the framed in a double rainbow over of rain. The Nepali vocabulary valleys, little ones gurgle behind long-term rain. It falls continu- The Russian-built Mi-17 has That record was broken by year, Basnyat, a pilot with Karnali For whom? jet stream smears their tops into the holy ridges of Gosainkunda. ously into afternoon, all night, chopper had gone back to bring Air, flew a French group to has many onomatopoeic words every bend in the track, the the rest of the expedition. But in the past ten years become the Captain BN Sharma who in Nothing could be better than a wild angry cobra heads. On one The varnished leaves dripped, the to describe different kinds of deep drone of rivers as they cut and stops abruptly at dawn. October 2000 landed on Island Manang to reconnoitre possibili- By late August, the rain pre-monsoon clouds were Tata truck of the airways in KARNALI AIR good, healthy monsoon For three pre-monsoon afternoon, I once tree trunks sweated, the wet water rain: at midnight it turns from ever-deeper gorges. These rivers Nepal. Asian Airlines was a Peak at 22,000 ft in a daring ties of heli-skiing on the slopes watched the entire Ganesh massif buffaloes were shiny. ebbs as the monsoon starts to closing in over the high passes south of Hunde airport. “Basi- months in a year, the Himalaya are older than the mountains guarding the remote Barun pioneer in introducing these rescue of a Greek trekker. from Kashmir to Assam act as a dwarfed in the shadow of one of If a pre-monsoon thunder and they have been slicing lose its momentum, the sun versatile heavy-lift helicopters, These rescues are hazardous. cally you fly skiers up to the slope these big cauliflowers of moisture. comes out again. The sky is Valley in eastern Nepal. The and once they descend you pick gigantic atmospheric dam to store shower is an opera, then the arrival through the rising rock for 60 Russian pilot, A Grevenikov, but has now lost both its craft, The treacherous winds in thin air water vapour. The mountains are The convection system rose out of million years. By ten in the navy blue and dotted with kites, one last week, and the other them up and fly them up again. the Buri Gandaki Valley to ride on and in the terraces the golden was a veteran of flying in the means that helicopters are easily It’s pretty taxing and one requires such an effective barrier that the morning, the first clouds chug Caucases and the Himalaya and destroyed by Maoists in Surkhet buffeted and toppled over. A Tibetan plateau to the north is flashing neon legs of purple up the valley, the forerunner of rice is ripening in the sun. last year. “There’s nothing to high altitude experience,” says familiar with the terrain. Karnali Air Ecureil came to grief Basnyat. match the lifting capacity and at Makalu Base camp last month Search and rescue flights Basnyat is among many have been hampered by cloud cost-effectiveness of the Mi-17,” and Madan KC himself hit the says Ang Tshering Sherpa, commercial pilots who are already ALOK TUMBAHANGPHEY cover, and only able to fly from Khumbu Glacier on an earlier ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ chairman of Asian Airlines. Sherparescue in the spring of 2000. flying charter flights for emer- dawn until 9AM, around when gency rescue after Maoist raids. ooking around a new kind of Kathmandu store is planning to add three more The inaccessibility of Nepal’s these days, one would think that not all feminists the clouds move in. By now it is Pemba Sherpa of Dynasty Air is helicopters, one Mi- 17, and two burnt their bras back in the day. And that those certain that the helicopter rugged mountainous terrain another. He says: “When I crashed into one of the moun- versions of the same certified to makes helicopters the ideal mode who did are now looking for desperate measures to carry passengers. With its decided to train as a helicopter control the drooping effects of the tug of war tains, and that even if some of of transport, but for decades they pilot, I never thought I’d be flying the six passengers and four crew capacity to carry four tons of were out of bounds to everyone between mother nature and father gravity. cargo or 24 passengers, the Mi-17 in combat zones, transporting An informal survey of some two dozen women between survived the initial impact, they but the army and the Royal dead bodies.” Lingering over lingerie ferries everything from hydro- Lingering over lingerie are unlikely to still be alive. Flight. Today, thanks to the 1990 the ages of 20-35 in the capital revealed one certain fact: power turbines and construction “The army would probably LL deregulation of the domestic LLLpaying attention to women’s underclothing is about as au The accident came as we material to remote parts of the airline industry, private helicopterrequire more manpower,” says courant as it gets here. Everyone’s doing it. For one, a downwards, the butt balloons upwards, and at least an inch were preparing this survey of of crack blooms above the belt loops…. Others brandish g- country. The Mi-17 has also operators are issued licenses and Captain BN Sharma, General woman in her mid-20s told us in all seriousness, “When Drying your laundered helicopter transport in Nepal, become the mainstay of many Manager of Karnali Air. “If there strings, which ride above the waistband….” A trendy and once more underlined the it has never been easier to hire a you’re wearing something really raunchy underneath your mountaineering expeditions and was no emergency, business boring work clothes, it gives you the strength to take young Kathmandu woman dismissed it with a flick of the undies in public dangers of flying in Himalayan the ferrying of grain to food would definitely have been better anything, files thrown at you, the relentless nose-picking ofwrist: “It’s cool, you can do more wearing less.” She was terrain in bad weather. Aside deficit districts. for us. But so far, we haven’t been your lovelorn office attendant. You feel like Supergirl.” Forperched on a bar stool, displaying what looked like a needn’t be cause for from Maoist sabotage and piece of string tattooed onto her hips. No, there wasn’t Although the Russian ma- hit hard like many of the fixed another, it is very unhip in Kathmandu these days to wear mechanical problems, helicopter wing airlines,” intimates that might slow the progress of meandering eyes much to her trousers. embarrassment Karnali Air was the first and roving hands, or not send the requisite suggestive Enter the lingerie store, a place for Nepali women and signals to the interested, usually male, brain. men to walk into, head held high and mind open to all thewith, racerback bras for those who just can’t be bothered, private helicopter company to be animal prints for the quiet, feral woman,anymore. nursing bras to And finally, there’s the matter of a current fashion suggestions that sequin-spangled thongs throw up, in the ○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ set up by a former army pilot, certainty that there will be no lewd comments, no ogling, pay the price for having worn too many of those in the past, Lieutenant Colonel Pun who is statement that perhaps owes more to male hip-hop trends push-up bras (with and without jello) for the woman (or than anything else: “posterior cleavage”. Fashion is a strange,nary a “friendly” squeeze or pinch. Of course, most of you now looking at India and Bhutan have probably already touched your forehead to the altar ofcross-dressing man) who simply wants to be understood. to spread his wings. fickle beast—women have been completely shamed out of There are scrappy wisps of nylon that make you wonder the Visible Panty Line that causes others so much offence, Femilines on Pulchowk. This little matchbox of an outlet is located right above a fashion boutique, making it easy for why anyone should bother, the usual complement of G- but the top of a thong sitting snugly on a woman’s waist strings with little embroidered hearts on the front, the most even as her hip-huggers barely skim her hips is now the more lily-livered people to lie about their real destination. Femilines, a collaboration between two young outrageously spangled, tawdry, truly unmentionables. Of epitome of cool. course, there are also plenty of practical, comfortable, pure entrepreneurs, Jyotsana Shrestha, and Ajita Shakya, was As a writer in an online publication said recently, “Girls cotton options, including orthopaedic-looking grandma in low-slung jeans sit insouciantly on bar stools, “present- opened early this year with the express aim of taking thepanties, all far more appealing than anything the aforemen- sleaze out of women’s underclothing. Kathmandu women ing” their rears like primates in heat. The jeans tug tioned greasy men will snap at you. are moving with the time in every which way, thought the two. So why should they still have to buy boring Most of the choices here are from China, Thailand, and undies in boring old department stores? Well, they India, which is a good thing for your wallet, but there are asked themselves, what choice do we have, when the also mainstream western brands such as Marks and alternative is buying equally unscintillating stuff from Spencer, Jockey, Blazon and Lovable. There are other, greasy men on footpaths who believe—and repeatedly smaller lingerie shops in Suraj Arcade and Bishal Bazar, demonstrate—that the greatest virtue of any kind of but these, while they stock a decent range of international underwear is the springiness of its elastic. brands as well as Chinese no-logos, won’t give you the And so Femilines resembles a cross between the waitingdecadent buzz that Femilines does. For Jyotsana and Ajita all the pre-opening anxiety has been worth it. Clockwise from left: A rescue room of a trendy hair and nail salon, and milady’s boudoir,Everyday the shop is abuzz with beginners buying circa 1965. The first little room holds a vast array of flight at 19,600 ft on the beginner bras, teenagers trying hard to pay more for nightclothes—comfy percale pyjama sets and practical vests Western Cwm; a jet ranger less, honeymooning couples casually fingering a lacy and shorts as well as barely-there teddies and babydolls, prepares to land at Ghorepani; nightgown, and grandmas hoping to find that elusive faux-fur trimmed peignoirs, and satin floorsweepers for 48 D. “People are ready for change and we offer them a rescue flight to Tengboche; an those who fancy a touch of the Barbara Cartland. choices,” say the two, beaming at their bras. Asian Airlines chopper hovers But go through to the next room and ahem. There are above Lukla airport; a Karnali the lacy thongs so very popular among teenagers and 20-

Air copter takes off following a KARNALI AIR somethings, all the better to wear their low-rise hiphuggers rescue; a climber watches a Karnali Air craft approaching

ARACELI SEGARRA ARACELI for rescue. 101010 WORLD 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES ASIA 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES 111111 COMMENT by NINA KHRUSHCHEVA COMMENTS a much-admiredby MJ AKBAR speech whose The case for refugees candour was even more impressive 28 years of King Jigme ○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ than its courage. He accepted that GENEVA - The UN High Commissioner for Refugees issued a statement fundamentalists and terrorists had Thimphu – The Bhutanese capital saw celebrations attended by hundreds of Bhutanese in traditional dress last weekend and Friday expressing concern about the current “over-heated” debate in created a “state within a state” in Europe on asylum-seekers, and suggests that it could have dangerous early this week in honour of King Jigme Singye Wangchuk’sth 28 consequences for foreigners seeking help in the region. The UN agency What really matters Thou shalt notmany times younuke can cry “Wolf!” in Pakistan andthy warned that they wereneighbour as much a threat to his Pakistan as jubilee. The king is so deeply admired that his proposals to published figures on the refugees verse. Mr Atal Behari Vajpayee does to India. He arrested hundreds, relinquish his powers and turn Bhutan into a constitutional arriving in the EU in the last 10 years opinions, options, opportunities and give the impression that he would that show a sharp decline in the total he lady at the counter of the that made this a dangerous place. banned their organisations and set monarchy have been strongly resisted by government ministers. interest groups. Democracy is not rather be a poet than a prime King Jigme says his priority is bringing his country into the 21 last year with respect to the number Virgin Clubhouse at Mars, Mercury, Moon, Venus, Sun, the mood for a new phase of st founded on what the elite think; it’s minister, a useful suggestion in a recorded in 1992. The report shows Heathrow on Friday night Saturn and the ever-uncomfortable relations between the warring T century without undermining Bhutanese culture. He is fiercely what the people think that matters, or country that prefers power to be that the totals are quite low in some looked at us, her eyes brimming Rahu were in Taurus. In 1942 neighbours. countries, particularly those most at least what a contending rabble of leavened by some degree of self- proud of the country’s Buddhist heritage and is determined that with sympathy, her voice down to a something similar happened and the outspoken—such as Spain and rival interests think. Russians, now denial. At times of crisis he whips But a paradox has overwhelmed its wide array of plant and wildlife should be protected from the hush. Did we know that the British sky fell over the British in Singapore Britain—in their support for drastic restrictions on the number of refugees free to think, believe Putin is looking out his own poems, hoping they him—in January Musharraf was a ravages of too much tourism. government had just issued an and the Russians across a wide front to be accepted. In contrast, developing countries receive refugees after Russian interests, which include are of some therapeutic value. man of glory. By May he was just advisory asking all British citizens in Europe. This turmoil in the skies numbering in the hundreds of thousands, or, in Iran and Pakistan, being an unconditional part of the When dealing with the terrorist another general who had stolen a millions, said Rupert Colville, UNHCR spokesman. to leave India as well as Pakistan will last through June. There may west. Yes, Putin cares that the elite are attacks launched by elements country. The central purpose of The number of people protected under the UNHCR mandate because of an impending war that be a story to tell after that if India keeping their distance from his supported by Pakistan, there was a General Musharraf’s policies and could go nuclear? She looked and Pakistan don’t blow each other worldwide is nearly 22 million, distributed among Asia, where there are foreign policy. But he also knows that point when he could not see any politics this year has been survival. 8.5 million asylum-seekers, Africa (6.1 million), Europe (5.6 million), bemused when we began to laugh. up first. Russia’s people endorse his policies. war clouds, but just in case you This time the generals of North America (one million), Latin America and the Caribbean (600,000), We were going home, we said; and The conflict between the two is a went away relieved he added that Islamabad have help from the and in Oceania (76,000). The UN agency’s data indicates that the The elite may retard Putin’s if that was the way the cookie number of asylum requests received in 30 industrialised countries have war between frustration and lightning could always strike from hawks flapping at the outer regions efforts from behind the scenes, but exploded, well, what could be done remained stable in the last decade, at 350,000 to 400,000 asylum hypocrisy. India is frustrated by its a clear sky. of the ruling BJP in Delhi. These obstructing is not overthrowing. about it. I am pleased to report that requests per year. inability to settle its longest and Less poetically, he’s suggested hardliners have taken control of the Putin may be as isolated, as my ours was not a singular reaction. most cancerous problem, the status grandfather Nikita Khrushchev was that the restraint he showed when agenda ever since they cowed down The Virgin flight to Delhi was full. of Kashmir; and Pakistan has spent the prime minister over Gujarat, in 1964, when Leonid Brezhnev I learnt that Air India, flying at more than fifty years using this to suicide missionaries from Pakistan organised his palace coup against nearly destroyed India’s parliament and prevented him from changing (IPS) about the same time, had been spread the cancer across the region. him. But he is nowhere near as on 13 December was a mistake. Narendra Modi for fomenting riots forced to offload 40 passengers. Given the values of our age, it is in against Muslims. vulnerable, thanks to his widespread My very reliable guide to order that hypocrisy hold the edge. The famous million soldiers were grassroots support among ordinary then mobilised along the world’s The world would probably not matters of life and death, Veenu Our prime minister often resorts to Russians. In the old days, Russia most dangerous border. They’ve bother too much if India and Sandal, informs me that on 15 May poetry to express his frustration, relied on its strength, mostly remained immobile since, itself an Pakistan destroyed each other if they FELICITATIONS something happened in the heavens although it is a moot point how Putin needs support from the Russian people, not the elite. military, to determine its self-image. unstable fact. Armies stare at each did not also threaten to contaminate loss of confidence in Putin may ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Russia’s elite still believes this. But other only up to a point without the oil-rich world around them. In weaken him fatally. There’s an eerie after the disasters of the last two someone squeezing a trigger. the past the world has waited for the ithin Russia, President crimes they attribute to Putin sound sense of deja vu. Khrushchev, decades, including the military India and Pakistan would likely two to exhaust their ammunition Putin appears to be an like the indictment for a treason trial. Gorbachev and Yeltsin saw their hold debacle in Afghanistan and the have finished their fifth war by and return to sense, but the first isolated island, at least After his bold moves towards the on power and influence among the W ruinous barbarity of the Chechen war now had they not been nuclear sign of nuclear war came in 1999 among the Russian elite who have Russian power elite undermined when west after 11 September, Putin which has blown back its violence powers. There is still hope that the when Bill Cilnton informed then singularly failed to embrace his they sought to please or placate the undoubtedly expected praise and into Russia’s cities, ordinary Russians prospect of MAD (Mutually prime minister Nawaz Sharif that decision to anchor Russia firmly to the west only to receive nothing in return. favours. The west’s ingratitude has are less enamoured of military might. Assured Destruction) will maintain some generals were planning a west. The elite’s gripes about Putin’s But there’s a critical difference been marked: America withdrew from They still want the world to respect the peace, but there is also the fear nuclear attack on India during the foreign policy are many, but they the 1972 ABM Treaty and forced between the Russia of today and even their country. But what matters to that someone may be too mad to brief but intense conflict over centre mostly on the notion that Putin to accept a vague disarmament Yeltsin’s early postcommunist Russia. them is respect for Russia’s culture. worry about MAD. There are Kargil. Sharif stopped the fighting America is running roughshod over agreement at the summit between Under Khrushchev and Gorbachev The obsession with power and whispers from hawks on both sides and ordered Pakistani infiltrators to Russian interests. American troops, Putin and President George W Bush (and also Yeltsin), Russia was an prestige that galvanises Russia’s elite that the nuclear option was created return home. One of the chief they complain, are on the ground in last month in Russia. The new autocratic society in which control of doesn’t. Russian society today is to be used. There is enough architects of that war was Pervez the former Soviet republics of Georgia, agreement allows the US to not destroythe elite was the key to power. Civil diversified and democratic, and its residual, continuing hostility to Musharraf. Kyrgizstan, Tadjikistan, and surplus missiles and warheads, just society didn’t matter or even exist. support for Putin is stronger than the make this a real possibility. It’s safe to assume the antago- Uzbekistan. The next wave of NATO put them in cold storage. That elite, the old politburo, was grudges Russia’s elite hold against Pakistan has a first-strike policy nists will heed advice from abroad expansion promises to lap onto Even Putin’s Defence Minister united by homogenised opinions. Youhim. that it does not hide, and has said before they pursue more dramatic Russia’s border and indeed surpass Sergei Ivanov, a former KGB colleague kept power by sticking together in it will implement it if India’s forces options. Relief comes a week at a the old Soviet borders by taking in the often considered Putin’s closest thought and word and deed. Change, succeed in a conventional war. So time on the subcontinent. But the Baltic states. Foreign investment has advisor, does not fully agree with him upsetting the apple cart, even if the India loses if it wins, with threat of war has already interna- scarcely increased. Putin, they allege, on the terms of collaboration with apples were rotten, was anathema. unimaginable consequences when it tionalised the Kashmir problem. has surrendered Russia’s traditional (Project Syndicate) America. If the Russian-western Today Russia has a diversity of retaliates. Best wishes to notions of security and received alliance doesn’t bring tangible benefits The present crisis is a continu- His Majesty King Gyanendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev nothing from the west in return. The (Nina Khrushcheva is professor of to Russia soon, there is a fear that the ation of the one in December, but On the auspicious occations of first anniversary of international relations at the New School University.) with significant differences. General His Majesty’s accession to the throne of Pervez Musharraf brought the The Kingdom of Nepal temperature down in January with COMMENT by F GONZALEZ-CRUSSIU Natraj Tours & Travels Pvt. Ltd. Post Box: 495, Ghantaghar, Kamaladi, Kathmandu, Nepal Phone: 977-1- 222014, 222532, 223070 Scientific follies Fax: 977-1-227372 (The Asian Age) E-mail: [email protected] Science needs a good, healthy dose of the humanities. ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Mass killing is being normalised, maternal womb. The capitalist economy was linked to a sado-masochistic anal and international institutions of complex. The communist slogan “Proletarians of the world, unite!” was inter- justice are weaker than ever. preted by some as a sublimated expression of homosexuality. War and the law In Soviet Russia, Marxism-Leninism incurred comparable excess. Everything Social Science Research Council had to do with the class struggle. Marxist theoreticians said that even romantic BALAKRISHNAN RAJAGOPAL love between a man and a woman was a desire for possession and domination, ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Vishwa Hindu Parishad talks with pride about what happened in Gujarat. South Asia Regional Fellowship Program which mirrored the bourgeoisie oppression of the proletariat. Even biological urs has become the age of threats. India threatens Pakistan with a “limited Pakistan casually mentions it is prepared to use nuclear weapons offensively Second Announcement, June 2002 facts were distorted by ideological bias. When orthodox genetics was discarded in war” and a complete nuclear annihilation if it uses nuclear weapons first.against Indian cities while justifying the mass killings committedjehadi by favour of the ruling ideological doctrines, as was done by Stalin’s favourite OPakistan openly threatens India with “first strike” if it moves its forces anfighters as “freedom struggle.” Indian strategists calmly discuss how India can The Social Science Research Council (SSRC, New York) is Trofim Lysenko (1898-1976), the results were disastrous. In the west, Charles inch across the Line of Control. Hindu fundamentalists threaten Muslim Indians“absorb” a nuclear strike by Pakistan and the destruction of the entire population pleased to announce the availability of short-term fellow- Darwin’s theories suffered no less egregious distortions at the hands of supposed with annihilation if they don’t behave. Israel routinely threatens military forceof Pakistan in retaliation. Pakistan’s UN Ambassador is quotedNew in the York ships (3-4 months) for research in any discipline of the acolytes. It is now a commonplace that evolutionary theory was used to justify against Palestinians, who threaten retaliation through suicide bombings. PresidentTimesas saying that the UN Charter does not prohibit the use of nuclear George Bush, the originator of all threats, threatens the entire world—“if you are social sciences and humanities related to the theme cientists take enormous pride in their avowals of intellectual impartiality.capitalist injustice. Illegality and wrongdoing were artfully cloaked as an not with us, you are against us”—and specific countries and groups through hisweapons. While this is textually correct, international law isn’t just the UN They profess to regard all concepts as equal in weight or significance untilincontrovertible, science-tested natural law, “the survival of the fittest.” Resources and Society. Twenty research fellowships are “axis of evil”. Terrorists threaten innocents and their governments around the Charter, but includes the judgements of the ICJ as well as other treaties and new evidence decrees otherwise. Ironically, though, among the innumer- Every new, powerful scientific formulation goes through a period of abusive available for junior and senior scholars from South Asia to S world. Threats are now a routine way of conducting international affairs. customary international law. In its advisory opinion on the legality of the begin new research, continue ongoing research or write up able kinds of human errors, bias is a relentless nemesis to which scientists are asapplication. Today, it is molecular genetics. Temperament, obesity, heart disease, threat or use of nuclear weapons in 1996, the ICJ clearly states that unless intelligence, homosexuality or criminal behaviour: everything resides in the No longer do countries or groups express disagreements in the language ofthe very survival of the state is threatened, the use of nuclear weapons is completed research. The objective of the SSRC Regional likely to succumb as anyone else. Given a problem, they are quick to urge the solution that promotes or appears to be demanded by their most cherished ideas.genes. Distinguished scientists proclaim that our destiny is inscribed in DNA, law or even civilised politics. International relations today resembles classic unlawful even in defence. Pakistan’s stated “first strike” policy would Fellowship Program is to strengthen links between teaching European state behaviour 200 years ago when large powers bullied and threatened Recall the exaggerated influence vouchsafed, not too long ago, to psychoana-and science-popularisers assert that human beings are just “programmed” entirely violate international law. each other and peace was the accidental by-product of alliances and balance of and research; the competition is open to all full-time lytic theory. Sigmund Freud taught that no act of daily life is ever trivial or entities. The genome contains the complete set of instructions, and is therefore India’s assertion that it is entitled to use nukes massively in retaliation university and college lecturers, readers and professors. named The Holy Grail, The Book of Man. When thoroughly deciphered, it is power. The cosmopolitan internationalism of the late Victorian and post-World meaningless, and so theoretical schemes were extended beyond reason. Roger War I period, embodied in a commitment to non-aggression, peaceful settlementcontradicts its own stated position before the ICJ in 1996 as well as the judge- Eligibility is restricted to faculty with PhDs presently teaching Caillois (1913-1978) ironically mocked such thinking: I forget my umbrella atsaid, the essence of human nature will be fully understood. ment itself. In its written pleadings before the court, India asserted that “even A healthy humanism limits these claims. No science can completely explicate of disputes, and institutions of dispute-resolution and peace making such as the in an accredited college or university in South Asia. Fellows X’s house because I feel a subconscious sympathy for X. My apparent lapse was International Court of Justice and the UN Security Council, appears to be where a wrongful act involved the use of a nuclear weapon, the reprisal action will be expected to attend a workshop in January 2003 “in reality” a pretext to return to see X, and reward my secret affection. I had lefthuman nature: all sciences, even the most exact, are partial endeavours. A man or cannot involve the use of a nuclear weapon without violating certain fundamental a woman is more than his or her psyche or biochemistry or social identity. Man seriously challenged. The threatening postures of major powers aren’t condemned before they begin their fellowship period. Junior fellows will my umbrella at Y’s, who I cordially detest, my slip was a desire for self- as violations of the UN Charter, which explicitly prevents threats as well as theprinciples of humanitarian law... In view of the above, use of nuclear weapons punishment. I atone for experiencing this antipathy, or for wishing Y’s disap-is more than his genes—he is also his past, his present and his future. Man is even by way of reprisal or retaliation appears to be unlawful.” How then can receive up to $2,200, senior fellows up to $3,000. use of force in international affairs. pearance. But what if I forget my umbrella at Z’s house, towards whom I am more than himself, because the specifically human qualities can only be fully India justify using nukes even in retaliation? It isn’t just war that is being routinised. Mass killings of human beings and Application materials and more information can be indifferent. Here, the psychoanalyst tells me I am mistaken. “In reality” I eitherdeployed in society. Thus, the Spanish philosopher Ortega y Gasset (1883- In the contest between “war talk” and “law talk,” the former appears to be obtained from: SSRC Fellowship Program, Himal Associa- love or hate Z, and with uncommon vehemence to boot. The proof is that I forgot1955) could truthfully state that “the I of Man is immersed precisely in what is brutalities are casually mentioned by would-be combatants and major powers as if that is normal and legal. The winning. If we are not to lose the entire edifice of peace making that has been tion, Patan Dhoka, Lalitpur (phone: 542544; email: the umbrella! In this system, nothing escapes definitive interpretation. not himself, in the pure other that is his circumstance.” As long as scientists, painstakingly built over more than 100 years, we must begin opposing “war [email protected].) or you may download the forms Caillois’ ironic point was well taken. Psychoanalysis grew into a formidable,absorbed in research and fascinated by technology, forget this profound teaching talk.” We need to revive “law talk” in international relations and more impor- New York Timesreported a Pentagon “estimate” that intimidating logic. In the above example, absent-mindedness is first a symptomof the humanities, they will continue to fall prey to bias. tantly, prevent the normalisation of war and total destruction. The people of the from the SSRC website www.ssrc.org/fellowships/southasia. seven to 12 million people would die in a nuclear war between India and of a subconscious feeling. Then, the latter becomes what the ancients called the subcontinent depend on it. The deadline for receiving applications is August 3, 2002. Pakistan. Many Indians and Pakistanis are reported to be calling for “finishing Announcements of fellows will be made in October 2002. (Project Syndicate) off” the Kashmir problem. Indian leaders dismiss the state-sponsored pogrom in (The Hindu) This program is supported by a grant from the Ford petitio principii—we name it begging the question. Nothing resisted the Gujarat that saw the death of almost 2,000 Muslims and the rape of countless Foundation. psychoanalytic exegesis. Politics, sociology, history, or medicine: all were grist for(FGonzalez-Crussi is Emeritus Professor of pathology at the women. Defence Minister George Fernandes, calls rape and brutalisation of (The writer is professor of law and development, and director of the MIT the psychoanalyst’s mill. Agrarian communism was viewed as a return to the University of Chicago.) pregnant women as “nothing new” on the floor of parliament, and the head of Programthe on Human Rights and Justice.) repeated. We have to challenge those who are used to simply winning elections to face fair polls. We also need to put in place all the FROM THE NEPALI PRESS THIS PAGE CONTAINS MATERIAL SELECTED FROM THE NEPALI PRESS 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES HISTORY AND CULTURE 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES 121212 mechanisms needed to ensure free 131313 and fair elections. Undemocratic are talking about animal rights it’s Of Krishna Prasad Bhattarai Clear politics election practices are one of the NEPALITERATURE by MANJUSHREE THAPA ENCOUNTERS by MEGH RANJANI RAI ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ a shame that not one human rights and Girija Prasad Koirala, factors that have brought the Editorial inChalphal , 2 June organisation or activist, the law who is a better strategist? First Mum-in-Law country to this pass, and those and its keepers, the administration Both are equally good. Koirala is weapons we aimed at others in the has paid any attention to this very straight forward, and stubborn Deshantar,2 June …The people should be enabled to past may backfire on us now. What case,” says a local schoolteacher. too. But there is no better leader to THE STORYTELLER AS POET:My brother- Pratibha Rana is a Rastriya vote for the party of their choice is happening in the Congress now is head the Congress. It is because of Prajatantra Party leader, and without fear or harassment. also, in a manner of speaking, the him that our party is strong. mother-in-law of Prime Everyone needs to be serious about result of such practices. The lack of Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba. creating that kind of environment, a clean political process within the The party line In an interview with Deshantar, ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ in-law’s wives Who do you think will succeed RAJAV because it is the minimum needed party has been one of the major Rana talks about the infighting Chalphal, 2 June Koirala as leader of the party? in a democratic society. People reasons for its never-ending es, she’s like that. She stands with her hands on her hips, in the Nepali Congress and I have not seen an appropriate ver since Gopal Prasad Rimal broke must be allowed, through impartial problems. traditional form and wrote poems in puffing away at hand-rolled cheroots called “paper” bought at the role of the prime minister. successor to him in the party elections, to be the decision- Excerpts from an interview with Edisarmingly simple language, Nepal’s poets Ythe local pasal at Rs 3 for a bundle of 20. How do you feel about the makers. Sweet talk alone cannot leadership yet, but I am optimistic the have taken up free verse with gusto, not She wears Hong Kong nylon saris, pink flowered ones with Bal Bahadur Rai, member of the party will be able to nurture a new Prime Ministerís decision to help in this regard, we have to show always with memorable results. Reading the metallic gold borders over canary yellow frilled petticoats. She disciplinary committee of the leader. dissolve parliament and our commitment in our actions. multitudes of poems being published today, it is slings an imitation D&G bag over her shoulder, and wears Chinese announce elections? Was his Nepali Congress that expelled possible to conclude that most of them are mini- The government that sought velvet strapped shoes, size 27. She is whipcord thin, but eats enough action appropriate? Prime Minister Sher Bahadur You have been criticised by essays (or worse, mini-lectures) with broken the people’s mandate is also for two and believes in viewing metropolitan Kathmandu perched There was no way out, apart your party for not having very lines. They look like poems on the page, but they Deuba. lack rhythm, they lack tonal complexity, they lack precariously on the balcony wall. She is my relative from the village. from announcing elections. responsible for conducting free, good academic qualifications, As a member of the party discipli- emotional and intellectual charge. (For example, I am the urban sister-in-law. I must now forego my gas stove in the The prime minister took a very impartial elections. There will be how do you feel about that? appropriate step. nothing more deplorable than if it nary committee, would you say the ‘My tears flow at all this poverty/ So much kitchen to cook kilos of rice in smoky wood fire kitchens. Academic qualifications aren’t all that poverty/ Have we no heart?’ would pass as a is unable to fulfil the commitments Heartbreaking I who had read of Yeats and Keats must now have to try and find ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ is needed to develop political vision poem today). Poems should be layered, reso- The [Congress] party says the prime minister has itmade made. a The existence of this and leadership abilities. A professor nant expressions, suggestive and rich and inspiration in separating chaff from grain, try to visualise those mockery of the multiparty systemÖ nation will be threatened if, for Biswamitra Khanal in According to what we read in the papers, the prime minister has never headed this country. One compressed; but reading most of today’s free visitations of the Muse, while she lets out a raucous cackle of any reason, impartial, democratic Gorkhapatra,30 May verse, it would seem as though Rimal did us all a informed the party president. When the latter didn’t show any has to be determined to serve the delight at the mechanical gyrations on Channel V. One never stops elections are not held. That is disfavour by licensing hoards of slack, flat signs of objection, the prime minister registered the pro- people and have good moral conduct, learning in the socialisation processes. why we must all be vigilant in It seems amazing to think that even in doggerel. posal to extend the emergency with parliament. in order to be a good leader. If She is the fifth, the Pyari Kanchhi wife of my brother-in-law. this regard. this day and age people can be clapped Rajav, who is at his best writing stories, has academic qualifications taught She can charm him and harm him, and twist him round her little People are speculating that there may be a ìcoupî, a in iron chains and kept in stables taken up the challenge of free verse head-on in We cannot allow the mistakes leadership qualities to individuals, callused finger. While I, the modern emancipated woman, figures constitutional coup. Is that possible? where they eat, sleep, and excrete like the poem translated below, but without compro- of past elections to be repeated this then how come the well-educated mising his storytelling impulse. His is clearly a they have the papers signed of those I haven’t said that. out ways to extricate herself from a convoluted relationship, mired That’s laughable. It’s like a baby breaking a toy that he didn’t animals. But 35-year-old Indraprasad time. We have to get rid of all ministers are involved in corruption? I narrative sensibility; the poem below could havewho whisper in their ears about money. I haven’t said that,hajoor .” in liberation theology and feminist crosstalk. know how to play with in the first place, and then bawling at Agasti (Murari) from Gerkhu VDC The cold-embattled boss his parents. Ever since democracy was established, thoseonly weaknesses.the The country’s might not have academic qualifica- been written in prose form. Yet the content does The peon adds, She has no hesitations about making decisions, no dithering, no near Bidur, the headquarters of gain by being a poem: there is a comic effect towipes snot from his nose with cash “Rather, I gave you my cold.” monarchy has abided by the constitution. The presentcrisis king can come to an end when we tions, but I have all the qualities Nuwakot district, has been made to many of the line breaks, and the lightness of theand scolds the peon, Then he gets leave from the boss’sfilial affectations. She commands the other shared partner, the poor has reiterated that he is a constitutional monarch. Despitebegin to function democratically needed to lead the country, and I am “This ass’s cold spread to me. pathetic, anaemic, barren Maili wife like a brigade commander. his repeated assertions that he respects the constitution and live like this for close to 20 years. tone is well served by the slight, quick move- room. and address issues in the economic against all sorts of corruption. ments of the lines. Indeed, the un-poetic contentOh! How my nose itches!” And again he starts to feel proud. multiparty democracy, people say there’s going to be a coup. Lucky are the other three who are long dead , hopefully in Valhalla, and social sectors. That is what we His family members say this was and ‘artless’ style seem to poke fun at the Rubbing his nose he Pinching his nose and There can never be a coup in Nepal. A river can’t flow up- eyes all the papers that bring in no cash. who have not tasted the whiplash of her acerbic tongue. She need today to take the country out done because Indraprasad is mentally stodginess of the verse form. By not taking itself wiping away the snot magnanimously hands out one and two rupee notes to her step- stream. Time past doesn’t return. The rumours regardingof the presenta crisis. Whoever may retarded. Every time Indraprasad sees too seriously, the poem allows the reader to “Take all these away. he starts to brag, coup were started to mislead the people, they were started decision to expel the prime Bring them back another day. daughters with a benevolent “ have caused it, our main problem the goats and kids running around relax and enjoy its main offering, which is, in the “I gave my cold to the boss!” by leaders who want to cover up their wrongs. minister from the party was an Oho! What I cold I’ve caught. today is lack of peace and security. free, his eyes fill with tears. “It’s been end, its story. independent one, or was it by the It spread to me from this ass.” Pleased at having given his cold to The country has been terrorised by 20 years since I have been made to Ja, ke, kini kha”. Some say the monarch needs to be more active. Do you party president? the boss think this is appropriate or necessary? murder, terrorism, violence and suffer this torture. If it were someone Jailed journalist Outside, the peon starts bragging, But she will not let life be ○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○ he now says, “See, I caught a cold All the [political] parties have said so. But how active they Bal Bahadur Rai::: We investigated “I caught the boss’s cold.” easier for poor cowering Maili. acts of looting. The Congress else, he would have gone crazy by Editorial inJana Aastha, 5 June and passed it along to the boss.” We like to say we mean, I can’t understand. This is a country of rumours.government professes to be now,” he says. Indraprasad’s mother the issue on the direction of the Proud at having caught the boss’s cold Husband dare not offer a word Someone said this! Someone did that! I don’t believe in party, but the decision on the he pinches his nose and tells everyone, The boss hears about this too of solace. Should the day everare a patriarchal democratic, but it is not so in Balkumari Agasti says he attacks “The boss passed on his cold to me rumours. Times are changing. If you cannot flow withpractice. the It is dictatorial, and it has members of the family, and so cannot punitive action stemmed from our Ambika Bhandari, a member of the and again the peon is fetched. come to pass, then its manifes-society, why then times, you walk the wrong road. There’s no possibility of What to do?” The boss rages like a double Jung ignored the people’s concerns, be freed. “I, too, cannot bear to look independent discretion. We are Dhankuta district committee of the Sneezing:ha-chioo! tation of Chandi in it’s truest playing a more active role. obliged to follow party directives, but Nepal Working Journalists Associa- Bahadur: do we look down motivated as it has been in the past at my son chained like this, but what and enjoying himself “You gave me your cold?” form until she has been the disciplinary committee is an tion and correspondent for Jana Do you think, contrary to what people say, none of by the desire to win elections at anycan I do, we can’t take any more of his A LIFE-THREATENING COLD he tells everyone he meets, “Nohajoor. appeased, has her blood with such disdain active, independent, able and Aastha, has still not been freed, six Deubaís ministers are corrupt? cost. It used the communications behaviour,” she says, looking at her Important persons in the office have “What to do? Nohajoor. sacrifice in at our own? responsible agency within the party. months after she was detained. The I’m ruined, I caught the boss’s cold.” char anni ko As long as there’s no legal proof, we can’t say whetherinfrastructure or not and other govern- son. This correspondent could not come down with colds. Nohajoor ” We understand the party constitu- police brutally tortured Bhandari eyarling or tickets to see they are. ment facilities to support the meet the father. This is why these important persons After saying reams and reams of tion and tradition, our decree is basedwhen she was taken into custody from are not performing Those who overhear him Thulodai, depending upon the intensity of wrong done. candidacy of particular factions “It isn’t right to chain him like tell on him to the boss, and this on party values. her lodgings in Dhankuta on 16 any work the peon understands all, at last She will not let me buy steel utensils for the house, which I in within its own party. It misused this simply because his mental now. the boss rages like Jung Bahadur state machinery and past elections December without a warrant or any of the olden days: and says, “I don’t even have a my naïve altruistic way thought would lessen Maili’s drudgery, who condition is unreliable. It’s better to Do you think the punishment proof. She was arrested around 7PM cold,hajoor .” were not impartial. leave a man who is mentally unstable The important persons “What? has to torture chapped fingers scrubbing ancestral Manipure thalis meted out to the prime and then taken to Dhankuta’s district He says I gave him my cold? Pleased that his is So this time around all sectors free,” says neighbour Jayaram Rimal. who have come down with colds are with kitchen ash in the cold waters of the Himal. She says I’ll spoil minister was fair? police office, where she was beaten the peon He gave me his cold! a highly original cold should initiate actions to prevent “One would go crazy chained up like Call him in!” as befitting his station her. I must learn. If you want to assert your authority you must Our recommendation is fair. Given with pipes and kicked for almost two and always try and maintain your upper hand. Be assertive, otherwise past malpractice from being this, even if one weren’t in the first the kind of mistake the prime the boss. the boss wipes snot from his nose hours, until she fainted. From 17-21 The peon is fetched. and after sneezing, snaps, you are fated to a life of misery. How does one grasp these pearls of place. If we talk to his father about minister made, he deserves it. December the police kept Bhandari this, there is a fight. We have to keep As soon as the boss caught a cold Sneezing five times “I wonder whose cold I caught?” wisdom? No more the accommodating, self-effacing, devoted and on the cold cement floor blindfolded, he offers a humblenamaste . quiet,” he adds. What will you do about the the whole office got into a muddle. doting wife. Where are the gender roles, the divisions of labour and handcuffed. She was not even given No signs of approval were scrawled on theWithout acknowledging his greetings Now the peon sneezes:ha-chioo! the power-constructs? It is just women vs women. We like to say we Minkumari Lamichane, a relative ministers who did not resign water to drink. the boss rages: vigorously wipes snot from his of the family, says, “Every time we from their cabinet positions as files. are a patriarchal society, why then do we look down with such It is said that Bhandari was “I gave you my cold? nose disdain at our own? speak with his father about spending per the party’s ruling? No stamps were affixed on the letters. This is what you claim?” but never mentions that he’s arrested because she went to watch a Lacking the boss’s signature some money to cure him, he tells us toI am not in a position to say what “Nohajoor , caught a cold. We discriminate against the childless, barren women and call QUOTE OF THE WEEK mass meeting organised by the all outgoing letters were halted. Rather he prays in silence: not bring up the subject anymore. kind of action will be taken against All visits ended for those not dealing in cash.I haven’t said that. them these ministers yet, but the bottom Maoists and also sheltered some Nohajoor , Eh Kashi, aputali, We look at the widow and ostracise her, calling her What can we do? It is heartbreaking The only thing to leave the boss’s room were may I never catch a cold insurgents. Of the people arrested in I haven’t said that. to see him like this.” The family line is that anyone who goes against his sneezes:ha-chioo! that proves life-threatening to apshagun. The baby is calledalachinna because it’s a she. If we I have fought for multiparty system all my life, I am not going to stay partyless. Dhankuta [around the same time], Nohajoor, doesn’t even accept her suggestion party guideline is subject to punish- Those who asked “What’s that?” were told: my employment. haven’t already killed her before she is born by having her ment. two journalists are still in detention. “The boss’s nose caught a cold.” — Prime Minister Sher Bahadur DeubaTarun in National Weekly. 3 June that Indraprasad be moved from the Professor, advocate and journalist sonographed. Having been born, we load her with the sins of our stables to the front lawn. Dreadful! Thakur Baral is also completing some The peon has also caught a cold. mothers, we over work her, do not treat her equal to our sons, bring Whenever Murari sees a passerby Who do you think could have her down to our downtrodden level and we talk of rights of the girl advised the prime minister on six months in detention. When He’s shuffling in and out he peers from an eyehole in the wiping snot from his nose, sneezing, child. We look at the poor relative as someone who can be em- his move [to dissolve parlia- representatives of the International window of the stables, hoping they Red Cross went to meet them, the bringing the boss drinks of hot lemon ployed as potential domestic help, all in the name of charity. How ment]? Do you think his and serving tea to the boss’s visitors. will come and free him. Talking to administration hid all the political many of these poor relatives are there who are serving time, in these advisors have the welfare of family prisons? When will women understand the need to be us he said, “When I saw you I the nation in mind? detainees in astorage room. There The cold has made no difference to the thought you must either be the understood as women? I don’t want to name his advisors has been much talk about human peon. police or human rights activists.” Wiping snot from his nose and in public yet. But it is obvious that rights abuses on a large scale in He says he has never met anyone sneezing:ha-chioo! the prime minister is not acting Sunsari and Sankhuwasabha, but the from a law-enforcement agency, or a he continues with the boss’s assignments. alone, he has a group to advise situation in Dhankuta is equally bad, human rights activist, or even local To cure his fever him. And it is obvious that the he local intellectuals tellus. They talk administrators. Indraprasad says he came without eating his meal. has been trapped by those who abouthow mentally unstable He’s famished but that he is not mentally unstable, want to end democracy this hasn’t dampened his zeal. and that if he is freed, he can be a people, wandering musicians, here, otherwise they would not pregnant women, and even normal, productive person. The cold has affected the office, though. have advised him to dissolve septuagenarians have been beaten to The conditions in the stable are Office matters aren’t moving ahead. parliament. within inches of death. The boss hasn’t signed all the letters, morbid. It isn’t just the mosquitoes, People bear physical traces of only those that bring him some cash. the ticks and the bed bugs, but the Don’t you think punishing beatings and electrocution even four The cold has earned him fact that Murari has to eat and excrete the prime minister and other a tidy income. in the same place that makes it so months after the fact. Innocent people ministers will split the party? have been victimised by security unhygienic and inhuman. “No one Those members who are faithful “The boss has caught a cold. cares for me,” he says showing the forces, for allegedly being Maoist Come tomorrow. would not consider splitting the supporters. On the other hand, the No files will be approved today. marks left by the chains on his hands. party, others might break away Leave now. “I can’t even shoo away the mosqui- administration has been unable to from it. The Nepali Congress is a take any action against people who Don’t crowd around,” toes.” Murari is married and even has party with a proud history, but we say the boss’s emissaries as a daughter, but his wife married have joined or support the Maoists cannot help it if somebody wants lured by the prospect of financial or someone else and left their daughter into leave. her maternal home. political gain, or simply from fear of retribution. This has increased “This is the 21 speculation that even the administra- tion is not free from prejudice. Pot: Party “It won’t break. I’m sure it won’t break. Don’t you believe me? OK, watch!”

Himalaya Times, 2 June st century, people 141414 CITY 7 - 13 JUNE 2002NEPALI TIMES SPORT 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES 151515 SUCKER FOR SOCCER ABOUT TOWN YAK YETI YAK by MIKU by BILL BREWSTER

FILMFILMFILM The Dybbuk of the Holy AppleYossi Field Somer, Israel, 1997. Russian Cultural Centre, Kamalpokhari, 9 June, 5.30 PM. Inter-Cultural Film Society.

EXHIBITION Football and the Nepali mind Three Men’s Perspective A three-man exhibition of photographic art 9-27 June, 10AM-5PM, except Saturdays, Park Gallery, Pulchowk. 522307 might manifest itself in absurdity Iconographic Calligraphy by Poosapati Parameshwar Raju. Until 12 June, Siddhartha Art Gallery, What we talk about when we on the field of play—left backs 11AM-6PM, except Saturdays. 411122 would pass only to left Art of the Past Exhibition of sculptures. Until 12 June, Siddhartha Art Gallery, 11AM-6PM, except talk about football. midfielders, and right midfielders ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○ Saturdays. 411122 would look to set up only the Argentina-Nigeria match with qualifying for the finals, but a few right wing. And both camps FOOTBALLFOOTBALLFOOTBALL about 50 male undergraduates. of the exuberant fans I spoke with might plot to bring down the Bookie’s Bar Watch World Cup games, win free buffets and other prizes with team by scoring deliberate own BOOKWORM The atmosphere was certainly were much more optimistic, saying every match. Free entrance, everyday at the Hotel Yak & Yeti. 248999 different—Friday night’s uni- they could see it happening within goals in an attempt to remove Word Cup Football Show All the World Cup matches on the Summit big WTO, South Asia and Nepal Dr Shyam K Shrestha and Niranjan Baral formed waiters replaced by a 8-16 years. the keeper—who is the one screen. Free Entry. 521810 Book Palace, Kathmandu, 2002 backroom kitchen staff, and trays Any appearance in the finals player of whom there can be only Rs 135 one—and install someone of World Cup Watch St Xavier’s alumni watch World Cup matches from quarter y the time you read this I’ll of hors d’oeuvres and whisky would, of course, be a huge boost

The authors, a professor at Tribhuvan University and a joint secretary with the Ministry of Industry, NEPALNEWS.COM their particular ideological finals onwards on big screen for Rs 240, including free popcorn and a year’s swapped out for institutional- to Nepal’s national pride. Every Commerce and Supplies, detail the main purposes and tasks of the WTO and the Uruguay round of be in Japan, but I spent stripe, even if that person is in membership at the GAA. Includes the 7 June England vs Argentina match. All at GAA, most of the first week of thesized vats of time a World Cup comes around, Thamel. 414785 negotiations as it relates to least developed countries, and finally, track Nepal’s preparations, independ- B fact an inferior choice. Sound daal bhaat and short- ently and through SAARC, for accession to the trade body. They also set out a vision and practical World Cup watching games in the sports sociologists roll out of Football on showPosters, national team jerseys, equipment, football newspapers and magazines, orders of egg chowmein. And all familiar? suggestions for Nepal’s accession. Nepal. Last Friday, I headed out the background to talk about how that his or her camp is the one stamps, memorabilia, photographs and lots more. Also surf websites of the Nepal Football Fan Club, the students were vociferously satisfied with the one football to a Lazimpat hotel for a fancy- football is the primary vehicle that is officially recognised by the the British Council, and World Cup sites. From 26 May, British Council, Lainchour. supporting the heavily-favoured federation most countries bumble (Bill Brewster, an Ameri- schmancy opening night party. I through which modern nations rest of the world, rather than Business of Bureaucracy Madhu Raman Acharya South Americans. along with, Nepal has two. They can living in Dhulikhel, was struck by two things. First, express nationalism, and if Nepal developing the game. EVENTSEVENTSEVENTS Phulchoki Enterprises, Kathmandu, 1996/2002 have different presidents, each of provides Nepali Times despite the Rs 1,000 ticket, the Many of the students seemed were competing this month I’m One Nepali fan I spoke to Skill development workshops Telephone Skills and Welcoming Visitors Workshop 10-14 Rs 500 sure we’d all watch their matches whom seems to spend an inordi- readers with a weekly room was packed, with hardly an focused on watching the game to speculates that national character June, 7AM-9AM, Rs 4,000. Negotiation Skills/Conflict Resolution 11-13 June, 10AM-4PM,Acharya Rs 6,000. discusses public administration, management and development administration with reference to improve their own football skills: and scream our heads off in hope nate amount of time making sure football World Cup column [email protected]. 524202 expat in sight; and second, Nepal. He specifically addresses notions of good governance, transparency and accountability, and During the game, I heard “luv-ly from beginning to end. from Japan and Korea.) Mike’s Breakfast; Cooking in Nepal and thenBook some launch of Mike Frame’s memoir virtually everyone in the room explores the differences between generalists and specialists. Acharya then explains how value addition to pass” more than any other Even though they’re not, published by Mera Publications. Mike’s Breakfast/Indigo Gallery, Naxal, 10 June, 7PM. people, and economic, conflict and disaster management can all benefit from reforms in the administra- was cheering at the top of their lungs for underdog Senegal. comment, which is exactly what another pet theory of the sociolo- Friends of the Bagmati A group of activities aiming to clean up the Bagmati River. Email tive and organisational structures. It’s much more common, in these guys say incessantly when gists is that football teams [email protected] for details. they’re on the football field my experience, for sports fans sublimate and express certain Namaste Banepaeducation project is looking for volunteers to provide input and ideas. Good Governance and Decentralization in Nepal Dev Raj Dahal, Hari Uprety and Phanindra Subba themselves. But there was still from countries with poor teams elements of national character— [email protected]. Centre for Good Governance and Development Studies with Friedrich-Ebert-Stiftung, Kathmandu, 2002 plenty of flag-waving (Argentina’s to root for countries with great and we already have considerable Rs 200 sky-blue and white stripes) and teams. But Nepalis don’t seem to evidence to support this one. Not Syakar Company Ltd MUSIC The authors explore the state, the market and civil society as crucial vectors of good governance, and detail chanting: “Ar…Gen…Tina! revere defending world champion Jyoti Bhawan, Kantipath Kathmandu Dinesh & Pemba Live every Friday 7PM-9PM, Himalatte Cafe, Thamel. 262526 the links between good governance and decentralisation. They propose a typology of decentralisation in Ar…Gen…Tina!” Down Memory Lane Wednesday nights with Teesta. The Rox Bar at the Hyatt Regency Nepal and ask how Nepal’s political economy and institutional framework for local self-governance can France as much as Argentina, Brazil and England. The lone KU is holding exams this Kathmandu. 491234 work, with cooperation from donors, to create new conditions and policy options for decentralisation here. goal, by Senegal, was total slop month, and Umesh KC, 20, from Live music by Catch 22, Friday nights at the 40,000 ½ ft Bar, Rum Doodle Restaurant, Thamel. and France was extremely unluckyBanepa, says he’s trying to salvage 414336 to hit the posts and crossbar his school year by watching only several times, but a win is a win the matches of Brazil, Argentina, Courtesy: Mandala Book Point, Kantipath, 227711, [email protected] DRINKDRINKDRINK and the shirt-and-tie crowd at theEngland, France, and Italy (which Fusion Bar Now open at Dwarika’s Hotel. Live blues and jazz music, European ambience. 479488 party was more than happy to still means he’s booked for over Metre of Malts Single malt exhibition and tasting. Twelve single malts for Rs 999. Evenings, Piano CLASSIFIED spend a couple hours shouting at 40 hours of TV time this month).

Lounge, Hotel Yak & Yeti. 248999 ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ attached bath, store, lobby. Third floor: terrace and Regardless, his studies are taking Flowerlovers don’t miss our special FUCHSIA the big screen in support of Mountain Madness Cocktails, happy hour everyday 4PM-8 PM, two for the price of one at Rs 250. laundry room. Location: Galfutar. Tel: 412094. Senegal. Karna Thapa, an a beating. “[Saturday] I watched exhibition!!!More than 60 new and very beautiful Kilroy’s of Kathmandu, Thamel. 250440 educational consultant from football all day and I had a math varieties of FUCHSIA, recently imported from Kathmandu, was in a philosophi- test today,” he said. “I passed, Europe, are on sale now, for the first time ever inStupa iewV and Restauranterrace & T at Baudhanath FOODFOODFOOD Nepal. Only at THE BISHALNAGAR NURSERY, tel. cal mood after the match and saidbut that’s all.” Stupa. Well-appointed restaurant and terraces with British Week British speciality food. 2-9 June at Summit Hotel 12.30 PM – 9.30 PM and Patan431797, five min from Bhatbhateni Supermarket, But as addicted as these views of stupa and Himalayas. International vegetarian that the result was “very nice— two min from Bishalnagar Chowk (turn right and Museum Café 1.230PM – 4.30 PM. 521810 specialties, pizza from clay oven, ice cream, soft guitar France is very powerful and even Nepali fans are, I wondered if downhill). Monsoon Madness Barbecue every weekend from 6:30 PM onwards at Rs 250. Kilroy’s of tunes on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays from 5PM on. they can lose a game. Every team things wouldn’t be 10 times Kathmandu, Thamel. 250440 Special events on full moon. Open daily 11AM- has to keep improving; no one worse if their own national team 8.30PM. 480262. The Tharu Kitchen Dikhri (steamed rice dumplings) with special jungle sauces and hot coriander knows what will be tomorrow.” were in the tournament. In a Landrover Defender 110 1990, 146,000 kms. Duty chutney. [email protected]. 061-25954 Later in the weekend, I went recent editorial, the not paid. Price negotiable. Contact 521105 Wood fired pizzasat the new Roadhouse Café. Completely redesigned with separate bar seating between 10AM-12 noon. K-Too! Beer and Steakhouse not the “longest”, to Kathmandu University’s and coffee bar. The Roadhouse Café, Thamel. “highest”, “first” or any other superlative. Just a relaxed, student canteen to watch the Kathmandu Weekend Brunch Rs 350 per head, special package available with bowling. Oriental and Housecontinental to let Sitapaila Heights, 5 min. from Ring easy-going bar and restaurant with the coldest beer and juiciest steaks this side of the moon. By the Kathmandu lunch or dinner by the pond. 1905 Boardwalk, Kantipath. 225272 Road, 15 min. from Lincoln School. Big compound. Post suggested that it might take Guest House. 433043 Vegetarian Specialties and clay-oven pizzas at Stupa View Restaurant & Terrace, Boudha.Western style five bedrooms, two bathrooms. something like 50 years before 480262 Servants’ quarters. Motorable road. Ring 356 074, Nepal could make a good run at 981030322 for Hari, Shanta, Sanju or John. Saturday Live Buffet with unlimited draught beer and live music by the Rusty Nails. The Fun Café, The way to Mexico is too far. Botega Restaurant and Radisson Hotel, 11.30AM-2.30PM, Saturdays. 411818 Tequila Bar is near Thamel Chowk. 266433. 15 percent Nagarkot special at Naked Bed Chef and break- off season discount GETAWAYS fast, transport both ways, three-course gourmet

Jolly Jomsom Stopover Package One night, airport/ resort transfers, return airfare Pokhara/dinner. Rs 1,440 or $19. For reservations ring○○○○○○○○○ Reflexology Stressed or tired after a long day on your 441494, 680006 Jomsom. ACAP permit, airport taxes extra. Resident expats $150 per head, Indian nationals, IRs feet? Uplift your spirits from your toes up. 4,999 per head, Nepalis NRs 4,999 per head, taxes included. Until 31 August at the Jomsom Mountain Email: [email protected] or ring 425-931 Resort,. 496110 [email protected] House for rent Ground floor: living room, kitchen, Overnight and short stay packages at Dwarika’s Hotel. Unbeatable prices. 479488 dining room, one bathroom. First floor: master For sale Kawasaki Caliber Chroma. Just 4,000 km, The Great Godavari Getaway Special weekend packages including room with breakfast andbedroom with attached bath, one bedroom, perfect condition. Ring 535920 or email dinner, 25 percent discount on health club facilities. Godavari Village Resort. 560675 bathroom, pantry. Second floor: one bedroom [email protected] Chiso Chiso Hawama with Rusty Nails. Live band every Friday at the Club Himalaya Nagarkot Resort. Rs 1,500 per person with twin-sharing. For Nepalis and expats only, Club Himalaya Nagarkot. For insertions ring NT Marketing at 543333-36. 414432, 680083

For inclusion in the listing send information to [email protected] on FM 102.4

NEPALI WEATHER by NGAMINDRA DAHAL

DSES-05-06-2002 04:00 GMT OK, here it comes. The monsoon is stirring over north- Mon-Fri 0615-0645 BBC World Today eastern India and Burma, which means the rains are now right around the corner. The pre-monsoon showers this Sat 0615-0645 BBC Science in Action week gave us a sign of things to come, but expect sustained hard rain by 10 June. A moderately strong high pressure zone over the central Himalaya is the Sun 0615-0645 BBC Agenda reason the pre-monsoon troughs played a tug-o-war over Kathmandu Valley this week. It looks like the monsoon Daily 2045-2115 BBCg] kfnL ;]jf]] winds are the clear winners. The gap between the g]kfnL ;]jf] maximum and minimum temperatures is now going to fall to ten Celsius, or even single digits. Daily 2245-2300 BBCg] kfnL ;]jf]]

KATHMANDU VALLEY Radio Sagarmatha

Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue P.O. Box 6958, Bakhundole, Lalitpur, Nepal Tel: ++977-1-545680, 545681 Fax: ++ 977-1- 530227 E-mail: [email protected] www.radiosagarmatha.org 30-18 29-18 29-17 27-17 29-17 /]l8of ] ;u/dfyf 161616 7 - 13 JUNE 2002 NEPALI TIMES Under My Hat

by Kunda Dixit Man of the match n the studio now I have Bhaichung Bhutia, and we goals. In this day and age how can you sustain viewer are watching the Brazil vs Turkey match. Tell me, interest with a game in which, on average, there is only IBhaichung, was that a performance by Rivaldo one goal per match? (Except if the Saudis are playing.) or what? Here are some ways to get more goals into a game: Bhaichung: “Well, Gary, to be honest, I couldn’t 1. Double the width of the goalposts. agree less. ” 2. Eliminate goal-keepers. Thank you Bhaichung. Now, back to Ibaraki. Run, 3. Allow offsides. 4. Increase the number of players on each side from 11 Rivaldo, run. Can Rivaldo run? Yes, Rivaldo can run. Can Rivaldo act? Yes, Rivaldo can act. Act, Rivaldo act. Now, see to 56. Rivaldo collapsed at the corner flag, clutching his face and 5. Reduce the ball size to that of a tennis ball. rolling in agony after Hakan Unsal kicked the ball into his In this manner, football will be much more exciting, leg. See Korean referee Kim Young-Joo give Unsal the red and it would not be inconceivable to have a card. Rivaldo doesn’t deserve to be banned from the World Brazil-China match with a score of 43- Cup for the next five games, he deserves an 21. More goals also means more time Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role. to have commercial breaks, which With all these celebrities running means there will be enough sponsors around all over our TV screens for a to have the World Cup every year month trying to pretend that they are instead of every four years. mortally injured, it is sometimes The other thing that slows football difficult to tell the difference down is the rule that you can only hit the between the Football World Cup and the annual Oscars. But with ball with your foot or your head. Look at the all the other world events competing for Americans, they took a boring game, changed attention, it has become imperative for FIFA the shape of the ball from a round object into to try to do something to make football something resembling a near-earth asteroid less boring. This time, for instance, the so it would bounce much more crazily, and World Cup came within eyeball-to- then allowed Thai-style boxing, wrestling, eyeball and a hair’s breadth of being and hand-to-hand combat in the field. upstaged by an India-Pakistan nuclear Soccer, in comparison, is a sissy and exchange, and in Nepal by the first awkward game because players are banned ascent of a major Himalayan peak from using their god-given hands. FIFA has without oxygen by a Lifan made a start by considering legalising hooliganism motorcycle climbing alpine-style. inside the D-area, but this is only a small first FIFA’s Governing Body, being a step. The next big step is have a tournament democracy, is also distracted by its own politicking, threats of a split with mixed teams with men and women, and within the ruling politburo, allow everything in the field except kicking. allegations of corruption, vote-buying and rumours Yes, Bhaichung, you wanted to say of a coup. But it must rise above these petty governance something? issues and take immediate steps to ensure that there are more Bhaichung: “I want to know why I have to wear this suit. Not only is it tight around the armpits, but I look like a total dork.”

CDO Regd No. 194/056/57 Lalitpur, Central Region Postal Regd. No. 04/058/59