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XXX No. 12 December 9. 1996 Students at the crossroads: confronting death with life Darryl Jackson: Bucking the odds " Deep inside By Bob Chiarito women to see who the guy is on her arm:· I was afraid, News editor Ever since he was in second grade, Jackson said but I knew I he knew he was "different" from the other boys. "I would be For anyone at Columbia who knows Darryl didn' t know I was gay. but I didn't like girls," he Jackson, it may come as a shock to learn that he is said. "There was something about boys th at I found back and I considered a long-term survivor. But since con- fascinating." had to prove tracting HI V in 1980 and having AIDS since 1990, Coming out to one's parents is often one of the them wrong." that's exactly what he is. hardest th ing for a gay person to do. For Jackson, Jackson has lived with the disease for 16 years, hi s behavior did the talking for him. although. as -Heart years in which he experienced love, hate and many still is the case o f many gays today, it produced a transplant highs and lows. negative reac- Aiong the way lion from hi s recipient he has remained parents. MarieI human, as "I didn' t have Reyes, a throughout hi s to tell them. Columbia life. That is , When I was in having flaws second grade I College while striving to had Barbie dolls freshman. be the best that and my room he can be. was fl owery. I Jackson agreed would take my to be ime r- allowance and viewed by the go to the drug- Mariel Reyes: Reprieved C h r o n i c I c store and buy because he paper dolls that By Antoine Lindley doctor was cry1ng," believes being you cut out and Cflrresp(uld('u/ Marid 's condition had gouen outspoken and put clothes on," worse and the pain in her direct will help Jackson said. "I "If it was my time, then it abdomen became unbearable. "I keep others would polish my would be my time. But this was was screami ng. 'someone help, from becoming finger nails and not my time." These arc the please help, please j ust make it infected. fluff my hair. .. words from a survivor for whom go away,"' she said. "So many Jackson, who My mom threat- the path of life Jed to a different doctors came in and out of the is slim and has ened to send me direction, a direction that almost room and they didn't know what li ght brown to West Point ended her life. was going on. My mother kept skin, short hair ;==============~:;=:=;;=;:;==r;~;::::::=;;=; and I told he r Columbia freshman. Marie! telling me that I was getting very and wide, smil- that locking me Reyes, 19, a Graphic Design sick." ing eyes, looks I first heard about HIV, I knew I had away with all major, walked a path that many Marie! was sedated so that her more like a 19- Jackson. Jackson contracted those boys of us could never imagine, a path body could rest. She was imme­ year-old fresh- with AIDS in 1990. would be a mis- that endured obstacles of pain diately rushed to St. Louis man than a take. My father and a struggle to live. While University Hospital where they dying man in his late thirties. That's because he went silent. He was a military man and was em bar­ many people spend their last specialized in cardiology. When refuses to be down. "I have a passion for life, I just rassed that his son was very good at ballet, very year of high school preparing for the doctors there looked at her x­ love life," Jackson said. "I appreciate the beauty in good at piano and could sing soprano." prom and graduation, Marie!, at rays, they saw that Mariel's heart life." But like the comedian who goes home and Jackson's parents separated when he was 10 and age 17, spent six and a half had enlarged to twice the size of cries himself to slee p, Jac kson conceded that there by 1976, when he was 18, he moved out on his months of her seni or year in a a normal heart. The muscles had have been many times when life was hard for him own. Because of hi s lifestyle, Jackson said he has hospital waiting for a heart trans­ stretched so much that it couldn't to appreciate. no relationshi p with hi s father and a turbulent one plant. pump anymore. Her kid ney and Jackson grew up in the 1960s and 70s, a time with hi s mother. " It 's on again, off again," he said. How could this have hap­ liver had also fa iled. S he had when America was largely unwilling to accept gay When he began li ving on hi s own, Jackson said pened to such a young healthy open-heart surgery. There she lifestyles. Thinking something was wrong with he often counted on older men to take care of him. person? This was a question she flallincd and the doctors broke himself, Jackson tried to act like a "normal" kid. "I was lucky to have had men that loved me." oft en asked. her breast bone to gi ve her a "I tried to do the society thing ... take the girl to During that time, in the 1970 's, HIV and AIDS During the last week of heart massage and get her heart the prom, have a girlfriend, send Valentines to the were still unknown, thus Jackson's lifestyle was October in !994 Marie!, who pumping again. After that failed, girls," Jackson said. "But behind closed doors. I resided in St. Louis, developed she was given a shock treatment, received much more from guys. I only look at See Jackson, next page flu-li ke symptoms and started which rcvi vcd her heart. having breathing problems. The Marie! was then hooked up to family doctor prescribed antibi­ a 300-pound machine called a otics , however, and as the days ventricular device. She once went by Mariel's conditioned again woke to anot her day of worsened. pain and fear. "I couldn't stop shivering, my "! remember I could feel pain body became weaker," she said. on my stomach and I could hear "I needed help getting up and all a clicking noise," she recalled . "! I could feel was pain- twisting had a tube in my mouth, my arms pain in my abdomen." were tied down to the bed and I Marie! was rushed to the hos­ didn' t know where I was. All I pital for testing. As the night pro­ could see were strangers walking gressed she got worse. Doctors around. I was so afraid." came in and out giving her med­ Becau se Marie! was stil l icat ion and taking blood tests young, her liver and kidney> and x-rays. Her body became were able to rejuvenate. weake r and she was moved However, her heart did not down to the intensive care unit. improve. She was diagno; ed Not knowing what was going with cardiomyopathy, a chronic on, Marie! became fri ghtened. disorder of the heart muscle that "My sister came into the room may involve hypertrophy and crying and when I asked her obstructi ve damage to the heart. what was wrong, she said noth­ She was put on the top of the ing, j ust go bac k to s leep," li st for a heart transplant. Despite recalled Marie!. "Everyone in fi ghting for her life, Marie! my family didn' t want me to see them crying, even my fa mily See Reyes, page 3 2 NEWS Jackson, from page 1 TilE CHRONICLE fast and free. ''I was on the fast track. I just went for it. I believed in Mary Tyler Journalism Department Moore's philosophy 'You're gonna make it after all,'' Jackson said. 623 S. Wabash Ave., Suite After hi gh school, Jackson attended Columbia part-time in 1979 802 and worked for an advertising agency. He contracted HIV in 1980, but was unaware until years later. Chicago, Illinois 60605 "When I first heard about HIV, I knew I had it. I read about it in 1983 or 1984 and said 'I got that. I knew subconsciously. based on my News desk: lifestyle, that I was in fected,'" Jackson said. In 1985 Jackson was (312) 663-1600 Ext. 5343 among the first in Chicago to get tested for HIY. The results were pos­ itive. Photo desk: ··11 was a confirmation.