SAPAC: Sex, Lies, and Statistics fondling under their umbrella defini­ BY JACOB OSLICK tion. By doing so, SAP AC literature distributed to students fails to distin­ T EVERY SUMMER guish between actual rape, and im­ orientation, the University wel­ proper petting. Using this definition, comes new freshmen with a A SAPAC claims a total of 130 sexual series of lectures on how to adjust to assault reports last year to three agen­ campus life. They are introduced to the cies (85 to SAPAC, 12 to DPS, 33 to the University computer system, instructed Ann Arbor Police Department). How­ about how to "CRISP," and warned ever, it is uncertain which of these {be­ about the dangers of sexual assault. yond the 5 DPS reports mentioned in The last topic obviously is one of ex­ the above paragraph), involve both fe­ treme importance to the University male Michigan students, and acts more community. Unfortunately, theSAPAC severe then fondling. The figure for the (Sexual Assault, Prevention, and Police obviously includes both students Awareness Center)-sponsored discus­ and residents, and all figures include sion they all attend contains immacu­ male victims as well. Furthermore, it is late falsifications and wildly inflated probable that significant cross-over ex­ statistics. As a result, it creates an un­ ists among the figures (I.e., victims who justifiable climate of fear and appre­ reported being assaulted· to DPS likely hension, instead of properly educating SAPAC: The Ministry of Truth and Love? contacted SAP AC and the Police De- new students. For example, one of the mostpopu­ different figures. One reason is that Koss, who only considered acts of pen­ See SAPAC on Page 8 lar statistics SAPAC frequently cites is SAPAC utilizes a much looser defini­ etration as ' ~ sexual assault," SAPAC a 1989 study by Mary Koss, under the tion of sexual assault than Koss. Unlike also includes unwelcome or forcible - ~ direction of Ms. Magazine, claiming that lout of 4 women is sexually as­ saulted during their college years. Yet Proposition One Ignites Debate as Brian Carnell points out, Koss's own study indicates that 73% of the women BY c.J. CARNACCHIO ten percent would be used for planning Statistic's Service Agency's definition she identified as "victims" did not and technical assistance available to offarmland, which is land that is "zoned "characterize their sexual encounters N NOVEMBER THIRD, local governmental units within as agricultural, or in some cases rural/ that way when asked directly." Rather, Washtenaw County voters will Washtenaw County. • residential, which could produce crops the women answered a series of ques­ O be confronted will a ballot pro­ Under the PDR program, farmers if farmed." This extremely broad defi­ tions, after which Kbss herself deter­ posal to finance the Purchase of Devel­ would still retain ownership of their nition could encompass golf courses, mined whether they had been sexually opment rights (PDR) from local farm­ land, but the county would be the only parks, and parking lots as well as lands assaulted. Indeed, Koss's study also ers through a 0.4 mill property tax on legal entity with the right to develop where actual crops are produced.· shows that 42% of the "victims" contin­ Washtenaw residents. The PDR tax in­ the land. The plan was conceived in an According to state and federal ag­ ued to engage in intercourse with their crease on all property owners would be effort to prevent what has been termed ricultural agencies, between 1982 and II attacker," after the" assault" occurred. used to create a new county depart­ "urban sprawl" - the development of 1992, cropland in Michigan acrually The actual statistics vary signifi­ ment whose purpose would be to study, strip malis, sub-divisions, and the re­ increased by 0.10 percent. Cropland, cantly. Last year on campus, the Uni­ acquire, and administer the develop­ sulting traffic congestion. being defined as land on which crops versity Department of Public Safety ment rights of county farmland. According to Save Our Land, Save are actually produced, increased from reported a total of 5 (not the predicted The program is expected to raise Our Future (SOLSOF), a local organi­ 8,614,000 acres to 8,623,000 acres. Michi­ 188) forcible rapes, sodomies, and $32 million over the next ten years. Half zation. campaigning for Proposition gan has 108 undeveloped acres of land sexual assaults with an object. Given of these funds would be used to pur­ One, Michigan loses ten acres of its for every 1,000 residents. This is seven that there are roughly 12,000 under­ chase the development rights on land farmland every hour to development. times more than the national average graduate females, this works out to one that is currently used for agriculture. They also claim that between 1982 and of 15 acres for every 1,000 residents. woman out of every 150 as the actual Twenty-five percent of the funds would 1992 Michigan lost 854,000 acres of farm­ Washtenaw Citizens for Respon- reported statistic. be used to acquire open-space lands. land. Their claims are based on the Of course, if you enter SAPAC's Fifteen percent of the funds would go United States Department of See PROPOSAL ONE on page 5 off ices V(lU \', ill be quoted significantly to urban revitalization. The remaining Agriculture's National Agricultural

r:-' - '>-'~V''''' ' .'.'' .i'•. , _ "'''' .....' ~. Shepard's death as political fodder in cians "Liar, liar, pants on fire." Page 10 • Music Editor Chris Hayes interviews (INSIDE! his latest "Lanterns and Lances."Page 7 . Lilith Fair veteran Heather Nova about the burdens of being attractive and • Staff Writer Jay Figurski examines talent.ed. Page 14 • Managing Editor c.J. Carnacchio • Campus Affairs Editor Ben Rousch the Left's victory in Germany, while interviews liThe Man" in his latest examines diversity and liberal arts at 'David Guipe verbally pummels • Staff Writer Michael Austin funks it installment of "Send Law'yers, Guns the University and makes a few sug­ Geoffrey Fieger. Page 11 & Money." Page 6 gestions. Page 8 up with Fatboy Slim. Whatever that means. Page 15 • Arts Editor Torn Jolliffe reviews • Editor-in-Chief Lee Bockhorn • Contributing Editor Matthew Buckley Oprah's new film Beloved. And Tommy chastizes the Left for using Matthew examines political ads and tells politi- likes it. He really likes it. Page 13 • Much, much more!

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THE MICHIl~AN REVIEW

The Campus Affairs Journal of the o SERPENT'S TOOTH University of Michigan • :it''' "Campus affairs - shaken, not stirred."

EDITORIAL BOARD

While pro-lifers often hold candlelight leaves, they would happily remain you sure aren't going to make a living EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Lee Bockhom PUBLISHER: Sang Lee vigils to remember the lives that aborted green all year; however, with the wave betting college football in Vegas. These MANAGING EDITOR: C. J. Camacchio children never get to lead, Students for of his magic wand, President Bollinger guys must have been Pete Rose's gam­ CAMPUS AFFAIRS EDITOR: Ben Rousch Choice recently held a vigil to show commands the green foliage to change bling advisers. ARTS EDITOR: Tom Jolliffe their need for the right to choose (or into other colors. Apparently green isn't FEATURES EDITOR: Julie Jeschke perhaps mock their opponents). Some diverse enough. EDITORIAL STAFF less-publicized events the organization And speaking of sports, all you obnox­ sponsors are the annual Yom Kippur ious New Yorkers (saying obnoxious ASSISTANT EDITOR: Jacob Oslick MUSIC EDITOR: Chris Hayes pork roast, Valentine's Day hate rally, Halloween is almost upon Ann Arbor. and New Yorkers is a bit red undant, we know) can put away your Yankee caps, SPORTS EDITOR: Rob Wood and Easter march in favor of the cruci­ Serpent's Tooth would like to know: CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: Matthew Buckley fixion of religious figures. how we are supposed to tell the differ­ T-shirts, etc., which have flooded the ILLUSTRATOR: Astrid Phillips ence between those dressed up to cel­ campus after New York's World Series COPY EDITORS: John Jemstad ebrate the night, and the city's normal victory last Wednesday. What's the big Matthew Schwartz deal? All George Steinbrenner did was Attention! Attention! Barely used, im­ collection of freaks, weirdos, and evo­ STAFF WRITERS: Michael Austin, John Bach, Josh peccably white sheets left over from the lutionary U-turns? win the annual contest to see which Benninghoff, Hal Borkow, Brian Cook, Jay Figurski, Review's Halloween party are now avail­ owner can buy the best team, which is Andrew Golding, David Guipe, Doug Hillhouse, Amol able for purchase! (Warning - some essentially all that the World Series de­ Parulekar termines now. Give him the payroll of sheets may have holes cut out.) Well, you have to hand it to the sports BUSINESS STAFF: Jon Mazer staff of the Daily; those guys really know the Pittsburgh Pirates and see if you'd .Chad Silverstein their college football. So far this season stay as brash as you are. Dan Granger: Pig-in-a-Pokey. We look the Daily's three" experts/' Sharat Raju, EDITORS EMERITI: Benjamin Kepple GeotfBrown forward to reading his prison letters in Jim Rose, and Mark Snyder, are a pa­ MIMNotes. thetic 102-116-3 on picks against the Those of you who have read Jacob The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and libertarian opiniori at the Uni­ spread, and an awful 8-10 on their sup­ Oslick's expose on SAPAC (see page one) now know that Jacob has joined versity of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary posed "Best Bets." FYI, .500 is consid­ donations from the U-M. Contributions to the Michigan Ah, yes - fall has arrived. The leaves ered the "Mendoza Line" for sports Managing Editor c.J. Camacchio in the Review are tax-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the are turning colors. If it were up to the forecasters. Get your degrees, gents - ranks of" rape colluders./I They are cur­ Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated wittI rently hiding in Honduras since SAP AC any political party or university political group. has marked them for penile separatiorC" Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial SAPAC's Lorena Bobbit Brigade was board. Ergo, they are unequivocably correct and just. dispatched to track them down and Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opin­ A Note To Our Readers exact vengeance. ions ofthe author and not necessarily those of the Review. The Serpent's Tooth shali represent the opinion of indi­ vidual anonymous contributors to the Review, and should "Serpent's Tooth" has always been a place in which we try to laugh at not necessarily be taken as representative of the Reviews the foibles of liberalism in academia and politics. It is not always a tasteful A recent edition of Time Magazine fea­ editorial stance. The opinions presented in this publication place, nor in fact do we think that it should be. Modem politics is hardly a tured a newly discovered photograph are not necessarily those of the advertisers or of the of those two Marxist heroes, Fidel University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and civil arena, and if the Left has outlets to get in itS below-the-belt licks, then comments about the journal. so should we. Castro and Che Guevara, playing golf, However, in a recent "Serpent's Tooth" we quipped that, given the of all things. We're sorry - did the What's with an you leftists on campus? Where are the abortion-rights stance of several Daily editorials, and specifically the workers' revolution take place on the angry letters, the denunciations, the cries of racism, writings of Editorial Page Editor Jack Schillaci, we wished that Schillaci's front nine or the back nine? Castro, sexism, etc.? What do we have to do? C'mon, we ran a Guevara, O.J. Simpson - what is it that . cartoon comparing Bollinger to George Wallace in the mother "had been a lot more pro-choice about two decades ago." This was last issue, lor ervin' out loud! Let's hear some outrage! clearly outside the bounds of good taste, and we apologize to Mr. Schillaci murderers find so attractive about golf? What's next, a picture of Lenin and for the insult Please address all advertising and subscription inquiries We should note two things, however. First, there is a point to be made Trotsky sipping cognac on a yacht in to: Publisher clo the Michigan Review. the Black Sea? How bourgeois ... regarding the pro-choice lobby and abortion - one we should have made Editorial And Business Offices: more dearly in the joke. Pro-choice advocates typically invoke the refrain 911 N. University Avenue, SuiteOne that pro-lifers should put themselves in the role of a poor mother, strug­ Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 EMAIL: [email protected] gling to survive, who finds that she is pregnant. What, the pro-choicer asks, Oh, and back to the subject of candle­ light vigils ... Seeing as how they've be­ URL: http://www.umich.edul-mrev/ should we tell them? What would you do in her position? This is certainly Tel. (734) 647-8438 Fax (734) 936-2505 a valid question. Therefore, putting a pro-choicer into an analogous moral come so popular, we'd like to announce that the Review will be holding a candle­ Copyright 0 1m. by 1M Michigan RevIft, Inc. quandary should also be fair game. Thus, it is a valid question to ask a pro­ AB rigllta reserved. light vigil to mourn the death of W~ st­ choicer how they would feel if they were a fetus being aborted. This point, 1M M/chIgIJIl R.... hIw Is • member of the Colleglale NtIwori<. though poorly made, is what we were trying to get at in the joke. em Civilization on January 20, 1999- Second, we should note that "Serpent's Tooth" is not always going to the six -year anniversary of the day Slick Willie promised to "faithfully execute" be perfectly acceptable to everyone, particularly those on the Left. This Lov(' liS or hat£> liS, WI'it£> the Consitution of the United States. space is meant to be humorous, and the "Marquis of Queensberry/l rules liS. don't necessarily apply here. Matters of taste are a grey area. However, it Apparently, our definitionally-chal­ lenged president chose the wrong seems that one could well begin with the rule "Thou shalt not tar one's The Michigan Review political opponents by wishing them dead via a politically charged method meaning of the word "execute." We should have been suspicious when he Letters to the Editor of death. /I This rule makes sense, and we broke it. For that, again, we 911 N. University Ave. apologize. whispered to the Chief Justice, "What does 'faithfully' mean?/I • Suite One Ann Arbor, MI48109 The Editors or email with subject "Letters to the Editor": [email protected]

> ~ : --: -;':'-"·::::::::'--;:;:-':-;:;::-";::' ~ ";':.';". "", '~~~ m.~>"." " " ."''''' '''~,,,. ,~" ,. ~~~, ~ , .;;,,,; "" ~~~-~ ~;;.·;.. ; .a:';:::IJ;':MiW~i"'''"''''~~~__ ___'''' ____ '''' ____ --- ...... -- ...-----"""'- October 28,1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 3 o LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Reader Questi9ns "Meal Plan Scam"

NFORTUNATELY, WHAT for University employees. Speaking not could have been an interesting as a University employee, but as a fa­ Reader Asks Where U exploration of what contributes ther who will soon be sending his two Bockhorn's Collar Is to the cost structure of institutional set­ children to some university environ­ tings ("The Me,al Plan Scam," October ment, I would feel better knowing that COnlon. 7, 1998) got bogged down with some all the employees who will be ma ser­ EY LEE, I READ YOUR side issues that detracted from the vice role are earning decent wages, ob­ article, "The Way You Wear You know you author's ostensible purpose. In addi­ taining adequate health insurance, and H Your HaL." (October 7, 1998), it. tion, I think a sharper focus less bur­ proViding something towards their re­ then I looked over at your standing \vant to do dened with ideology might have done tirement. It appears that the author of head - where is the collar on your Give in to a better service for the U-M commu­ the article would rather eat more shirt? A picture is worth a thousand nity. cheaply even if it means those employ­ words. I was going to count the words tenlptation ... Prior to working for the Univer­ ees will have none of these benefits, but in the article, but you get my point, sity, I was Associate Director of one of we will have to disagree about this. don't you? the major Hillel Foundations, so I think Finally, please note that this letter I have a pretty good perspective on at reflects my personal opinion and is not Jody Reynolds least one of the me~ plans that Mr. offered in my official University capac­ School of Information Os lick investigated. Let me hasten to ity. Administrative Offices Send a letter to say that I do not work for University the editor. HOUSing, and I do not claim to know Jack F. Love Ms. Reynolds, anything specific about the cost struc­ Let us know what ture of Housing's meal plans. Mr. Oslick responds: Touche. Actually, we had been mean­ With respect to kosher meal plans, ing to change the column pictures after the you think! it is simply wrong to presume that there Mr. Love, first issue, but in our haste during produc­ is a large difference in the food cost tion we neglected to do so bejoreprinting structure for kosher establishments than It appears we come from two perspec­ the October 7th issue. J hope you find my [email protected] others. It is probably true that if you set tives. I believe the purpose ofthe University new picture less hypocritical, and more out to provide the cheapest food pos­ meill program is to provide sustenance to appropriate for a Junior Member ofthe Vast sible in a given environment that ko­ students living in the Residence Halls. You , Right-Wing Conspiracy. - LFB sher food will cost more than food in however, feel it is a welfare program to aid ~ .. ,~ ... ' non-kosher settings. But most food minimally skilled workers by paying them plans do not attempt to provide the far above their market value. I question cheapest food possible. They attempt exactly how far your goodwill goes. Do you University Michigan to provide what their customers want, boycott all restaurants that pay their work­ of and that usually means investing in at ers below $10 an hour? How about super­ Students least some products that cost more than markets? Or does your goodwill only ex­ bare-bones necessities. With good menu tend to other peoples' money - the thou­ • Are your economics professors hostile to the Free Market? planning it should be possible for a sands offamilies socked by outrageous rent? • Are they still teaching the failed doctrines of Lord Keynes? kosher meal plan to compete with other As to your assumptions about the Hillel types of plan. program, the statistics I quoted came di­ As a person who honors Jewish rectly from Hillel's chef, who also orders If so, help is just an e-mail away! dietary law, I also feel that it is impor­ food . While you are correct in asserting that tant to clarify tha t kosher food does not somewhat of a "substitution effect" occurs equate to expensive. I strongly doubt in food selection, from personal experience The Mackinac Center for Public Policy, a free market research institute. that my family's grocery bill is any (I keep kosher) I know it cannot remotely offers" Ask the Economist," an interactive Web site feature to help guide higher than the typical Ann Arbor cancel the premiums associated from ko­ students around economic fallacies. household's. Certainly, kosher meat is sher food. sold at a premium price. But that can be I admit I am unclear if Hillel's figures Navigating your way to economic balanced against a plan in which a fam­ include the cost of utilities and equipment truth can be a challenge. ily consumes a bit less meat than the repair, although they do include the cost of Economic errors abound. and American average while eating more kitchen cleilnup. However, with the general the line between political foods prepared from scratch rather than meal plan these costs are trivial compared opinion and established purchased in processed form. to the price offood and labor, so I doubt that principles is often The article would have gained more these costs could alter the figures signifi­ blurred. credibility for me had the author pre­ cantly. s ent~d iniorm!ltion on whether the non­ Lastly, you c/aim that my "ostensible" Expert help based on University plans defrayed their facility purpose got in the way ofgood reporting. I modern economic and administrative costs through the find this interesting, since I reported facts, scholarship is plan charges, or whether these costs and avoided postulating a solution. Per­ , only 24 hours away. were paid for by donations or volun­ haps these facts about burdensome labor teer labor arranged by the plan opera­ and management costs are unpleasant for go to ' tors. Since the Hillel plan was noted to www.mackinac.org you, nevertheless they exist - and con­ and look for the be operating with a subSidy, my suspi­ tinue to burden students. "Ask the Economist" icon cion is that the rates do not reflect the cost of cleanup, utilities, or facility re­ Cordially, afire-breathing , DarkAges Ideo­ pair. logue, Finally, I was disturbed by the ref­ erences to the employee salaries and Jacob Oslick benefits which clearly are a cost factor 4 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW October 28, 1998

.... cD N ~.... cD.... 0 e0 c .2 0; "0 C :> 0 LL c;; c Q 0; u :> "0 W U iii I/l ::l 4> 5 '0 >- II! 4> . 1:: . :> 0 u o FROM SUITE ONE Don't Scapegoat Cantor Tragedy Defend Israel Now- HE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN COMMUNITY WAS STUNNED AND s WE GO TO PRESS, ITAPPEARS THAT YET ANOrnERHANDSHAKE saddened by the tragic death on October 16th of freshman Courtney ceremony will take place on the White House lawn, uniting Israelis and T Cantor. Unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding her bizarre death, A Palestinians in a new interim agreement. Although the Review sympathizes which resulted from a fall from her sixth floor dorm room window at Mary with efforts to find an equitable peace, we consider it imperative to consider the Markley, seem to ensure that her death will not be an inconsequential one. history of Yassir Arafat's promises starting with the original ceremony on the The veil of fog surrounding the events of that evening has lifted enough to White House lawn in September of 1993. The same day as Arafat's historic reveal the dim outlines of what occurred. Cantor, a recent pledge of the Chi Omega handshake with the late Yitzhak Rabin, he appeared on Jordanian television. sorority, attended a party at the Phi Delta Theta fraternity, and apparently There, he described his peace pact with the Israelis ,as 'similar to Mohammed's consumed alcohol. (Her blood alcohol level, however, was later measured at .059 treaty with the Koreish (an Arab tribe). For those unfamiliar with Arabian history, percent, below the legal driving limit of .1 percent.) At 3am she took a cab home to Mohammed broke his word a few years later; and slaughtered everyone in the Markley, and some time between 3 and Sam, fell out her window to her death. tribe. Ever since that fateful day, Israeli-Palestinian relations have followed a predictablepattem. Israel exchanges t~rritoryfor Arafat's promises, Arafatcontinues Let us resist the temptation to do what so many have done in to incite violence, Hamas responds with a terrorist attack, the U.s. expresses sympathy, but reminds Israel not to let terror interfere with the "peace process," the wake of other student deaths- at Michigan - the and Israel once again exchanges more territory for the same unfulfilled promises. temptation to use death to advance our own political agendas. Consider the central promises Yassir Arafat agreed to in the latest agreement: amending the PLO Charter to remove anti-Israel references and controlling It is in our nature as human beings to seek a cause for every effect, and this terrorism. These are identical to his commitments under the original Oslo Accords, tendency to search for answers only increases when the situation we are observing Oslo II, and the Hebron Accords. Today, Israel has agreed to turn over 27% of the seems most senseless and inexplicable. Unfortunately, in our desperation to find West Bank and 98% of the Palestinian population to Arafat's control. On the other answers we often try to name scapegoats; our need for closure makes us search for hand, Arafat has yet to fulfill the first commitment he made five years ago: in 30 of someone to be held accountable for an undeserved tragedy. In the case of Courtney its 33 chapters, the PLO Covenant still calls for the destruction of Israel. Not only Cantor, the list of potential suspects is obvious: the Greek system, for perpetuating that, but he continues to flagrantly violate the Accords in a multitude of other ways; an atmosphere where drinking is not only encouraged but seemingly required; the by, among other things, turning official Palestinian Authority media into a University, for failing to adequately prepare students to deal with the potential mouthpiec~ for violent propaganda (a recent television broadcast featured dangers of alcohol; even Cantor herself may come under fire from some quarters elementary schoolchildren singing about how they all wanted to grow up to for drinking while underage. become suicide bombers). Whenever Palestinian violence becomes excessive and However, naming a scapegoat for the death of Courtney Cantor would be a the U.S. pressures him to "crack down," Arafat responds with Captain Renault's terrible mistake. Singling out the Greek system for its history of alcohol abuse famous line from Casablanca "Roundup the usual suspects," arrests a few terrorists, would serve no useful purpose; while it is certainly true that the Greek system as and then releases them a few weeks later when the pressure dies down. As recently a whole has a long-standing problem with alcohol, it must be remembered that as last month, the Palestinian Authority hired twenty-five more Hamas terrorists drinking is a pervasive element of 1990s undergraduate life, not limited to as "policemen," in addition to 9 "policemen" currently wanted by Israel for fraternities and sororities. Today's underage student seeking alcohol has many terrorism, four of them for killing Americans. options at his disposal, so singling out the Greeks for punishment will not As the recent talks at the Wye Plantation proved, what we have is not a "peace significantly stem the tide of underage drinking on campus. process," but an appeasement process, Every time Israel is reluctant to cede more Similarly, it is unfair and unrealistic to hold the University responsible for land (in light of Arafat's broken promises), Arafat threatens war (such as the every single tragedy that befalls its students. Yes, the 'V' does have a limited role Tunnel Riots), or, most recently, declaring independence. This leads the U.S. to to play in encouraging its students to use liquor responsibly, but ultimately pressure Israel to give further concessions, restarting the vicious cycle described students must be recognized for what they are - young adults who must be above. What Israel does not get is security, or peace. As peace negotiations are allowed to accept full responsibility for their actions. reaching their endgame, the U.S. must shift its focus from pressuring Israel to We urge the U-M community to refrain from rash judgments about who (if accede to Arafat's whims, to ensuring that Palestinians faithfully observe their anyone) is ultimately most responsible for Courtney Cantor's tragic and premature commitments. passing. Let us accept that sometimes accidents and cruel tragedies happen with We must unequivocally stand by our ally when she demands extradition of no apparent rhyme or reason to explain them; with no discernible cause or villain terrorists, a permanent crackdown on Hamas, and an end to Palestinian propaganda. to blame. Let us resist the temptation to do what so many have done in the wake Furthermore, we insist that before Israel makes another concession, Arafat must of other student deaths at Michigan - the temptation to use death to advance our follow through on his first promise: changing the PLO Charter. Only then will the own political agendas. Let us, instead, take Courtney Cantor's death for what it is: peace agreements amount to more than pieces of paper. Only then will a stable a grim reminder of the fragile, fleeting nature of our humanity, and a terrible but peace be built and preserved. Otherwise we fear the current agreements will too useful antidote to our generation's foolish aura of youthful invincibility. Perhaps closely resemble Neville Chaimberlain's claim to have achieved "Peace in our then her death will not have been in vain. l\-R time." :tvR

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October 28,1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 5

Proposal One .ij .\: continued from page 1 "Saving flrmland by raising taxes on farmers makes sible Growth (WCRG) is a local organi­ zation which opposes Proposition One's absolutely no sense. " POR initiative for numerous reasons. According to the WCRG's website, Bashert responds by saying, "The $130,000 home is $26 per year. A little absolutely no sense. Farmers are over­ www.grow-smartorg, the POR tax plan law requires that the county hold those over two dollars a month. I really ap­ taxed and this is the reason many feel will not prevent so-called urban sprawl development rights unused, in perpe­ preciate that for some people that is they have no alternative but to sell their but will in fact increase it: "We believe tuity, unless the farmer chooses to try going to be more than they can afford. land to developers. Farmers need a tax that the POR tax plan will bring new to buy back those development rights That's the reality of the world we live cut - not another tax increase. A tax development to areas that are now very at some point in the future. Secondly, in. For them I certainly understand their cut is what is needed to truly preserve unlikely candidates for construction. when a farm POR's, the other farms concerns. For other people that is a farmland." WCRG's website also states, How? Let's say there are two 100 acre around it instantly become more stable reasonable tax to incur to do farmland "Farmer's have a tough time in part farms right across the street from one as farms because farms need other farms preservation in Washtenaw County. It because their land is taxed based on its another in a very rural part of the county. nearby to exist. So now, with that farm is a small price to pay. Everybody's got potential value, not its present value. Farmer A sells the county his develop­ guaranteed to stay a farm in perpetu­ to make their own personal decision on This new tax will only make it more ment rights, preventing or delaying ity, the farm next door to them becomes that issue. I also appreciate that some difficult for farmers to operate here in future development on this tract ofland. that much more valuable as farmland. landlords use every tax as an excuse to Washtenaw County, fueling the very Immediately, the value of Farmer B's Often farmers will go in together into raise the rent on their tenants. This is sorts of unwanted development we all property increases, because it is adja­ POR. Farmers going in together as a the reality ofliving in Ann Arbor, which oppose." cent to lands that will remain undevel­ group makes them that much more is a high rent area... For doing land Bashert responds: "This proposal oped for some time. The chances of eligible for POR funds because there is preservation work, purchasing devel­ is about land preservation. If the farm­ Farmer B's land being developed have a high competition for these funds. opment rights, open space preserva­ ers need support from us, that has to now increased, as has the cost of ac­ Farmers often do not plan to go into tion, and urban revitalization and plan­ come through other means. This pro­ quiring development rights." POR alone. The farming community ning, I think that $26per year is a pretty posal is about land preservation. This Beth Bashert, campaign manager here is a very tight community and reasonable amount." proposal is about the fact that land is for SOLSOF, responds to this criticism they talk to each other frequently. They WCRG also believes that there are being developed at ten acres per day in by saying, "It all depends on what that often act as a community, not as iso­ private alternatives to save open spaces WashtenawCounty. There are currently individual farmer wants. If he wants to lated individuals." in Washtenaw County that would not 60 developments for sale, under con­ make money by selling his land, which Congestion and over-crowdingwill involve government action and tax in­ struction,in WashtenawCounty. That's he is certainly entitled to do, then that is act\tally increase as a direct result of the creases: "Development rights .can"'tre a lot. Our population is not increasing. his choice. People that buy those houses POR plan, according to the WCRG: "The bought and sold in WashtenawCounty Our population increased about eight which developers sell don't want to stated objective of the POR tax is to right now. We do not need to raise taxes percent in the last ten years and the look at other subdivisions. They want create greater density here in the county. on all county property owners to be amount of housing increased 25 per­ to see country scenery and farmland. With density comes congestion and traf­ able to buy farmer's development cent. So, developers are not meeting a That is why they moved to the sub­ fic." rights. We encourage the organizations need, they are doing more than what is divisions in the first place. So, of course, Bashert denies this claim, saying and individuals behind the PDR tax necessary. Farmers definitely do need that farmer's land will become more that greater density will mean people proposal to seek private funds for the tax support, but this ordinance is not valuable to a developer for that reason all living and working in a smaller area, purchase of development rights in se­ about tax support and again it is a mod­ alone. If that same farmer wants to stay which means alternative modes of lected areas so that a pilot program can erate millage. " a farmer, his farm also becomes more transportation will become more at­ be implemented and evaluated over a Bashert also claims that new devel­ stable as a farm. It is all about choice. It tractive and practical, thereby reduc­ period of years." opment in the county takes more from is about free market enterprise and ing traffic flows and congestion. She Bashert believes that private action the local economy than it adds, by re­ choice. Under the POR, the farmer will further asserts that it is the working alone would not be sufficient in pre­ quiring the building of new schools, now be able to compete with develop­ people who must drive into town every serving open lands and that the county roads, sewers, etc She says that resi­ ers for his own land. He is no longer day from the more distant subdivisions government must acfand public funds dents are forced to pay for the burden penalized for not choosing to sell his who are the main cause of traffic con­ must be used. She says, "Private land of unnecessary development and ur­ land to developers." gestion and parking problems. trusts have very limited funds to do ban sprawl through constant tax in­ WCRG also points out that even Housing prices and the cost of liv­ this kind of work. What we are talking creases which are necessary to fund the though the county may acquire the de­ ing will be adversely affected by the about is a buyer-seller market with the expanding need for public services. velopment rights for a property, there PDRtaxincrease. According to WCRG: .PDR program. You need to have a will­ WCRG responds to this claim say­ is no guarantee that it will never be "We believe that the PDR tax plan ing seller and a willing buyer. We have ing, "Proponents of the PDR tax usu­ developed: "The POR tax does not elimi­ would reduce the available stock of the willing sellers. Last year alone, 35 ally calculate the cost of infrastructure nate development rights, it only trans­ affordable housing in the area. What farmers in our county applied for state to serve a new development and then fers them to the county government. happens when demand increases (as it PDR funds. Only three of them quali­ subtract from this the property taxes This means that the county itself could will so long as our population increases) fied because there were not enough paid on the new houses. This extremely develop the property in the future, es­ while supply decreases (as it will if we funds to purchase all 35 farmers' devel­ Simple analysis fails to take into ac­ pecially in the event of a severe eco­ reduce the number of housing units opment rights. What this program does count all of the economic activity asso­ nomic downturn. So, we wouldn't re­ available)? That's right! Housing prices is create the willing buyers to match the ciated with providing housing and com­ ally be 'saving' any land through the go up. The POR tax will not only make willing sellers./I mercial development to serve a grow­ new tax program. The POR tax plan . it more costly for home owners and Jeff Muir, campaign manager for ing population. Recent studies in North guarantees only one outcome: it will business owners here, it will also in­ WCRG, asserts that a property tax in­ Carolina and Texas - two states with absolutely raise $32 million in new taxes crease the cost of living for renters and crease will hurt farmers the most. He rapidly growing populations- by for county residents over the next ten those trying to achieve the American said, "In 1952, a bushel of wheat sold economists at state universities have years. But the county cannot force a dream of home ownership." for $2.50 and Washtenaw County prop­ shown conclusively that the develop­ farmer to sell his development rights. Bashert responds, "Here's the real­ erty taxes amounted to one dollar per ment required to serve growing popu­ This means that there is no guarantee ity of the size of the tax. It is a 0.4 mill acre. Today, wheat sells for $2.40 a lations of the scale in Washtenaw whatsoever that we will be able to pre­ tax. The average home in Washtenaw bushel and Washtenaw property taxes County adds millions of dollars net serve any farm lands under this new County costs $130,000 according to amount to $33 per acre. Saving farm­ each year to the local economy./I rvR tax plan." county figures. The 0.4 mill tax on a land by raising !axes on farmers makes

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HE MICHIGAN REVIEW IS and crazed cretins. They have been ready to exercise the "executive swindle in recorded history. You've proud to present an exclusive doing an excellent job. branch." I guess being from Arkansas, got to love it. Everyone knows that T interview with "The Man." Ever MR: You mean that Jessica Curtin Clinton is just happy to be dating out- Columbus is responsible for every form since the 1960s, we have all heard left­ is working for you? side the realm of blood relations. of oppression in the United States to- ists complain about how "The Man is The Man: Of course. She and I go MR: What did you hope to gain by day. Columbus Day is my Christmas. keep in' us down!" The Man is respon­ way back She went to prep school with Lewinsky-gate? The Indians made out pretty good, any- sible for everything from racism and my daughter. She's been a friend of The Man: I had to bring Clinton way - running casinos is definitely sexism to Third family for years. Her cover makes her down. If it wasn't for me, he would more lucrative than hunting buffalo. World imperial­ seem like a typical campus radical, but have gone dqwn as the greatest Demo- MR: What is The Man's vision for ism and pov­ underneath it all, she is still the same crat since FDR or JFK. I had to distract the future? erty. The Man is girl who kept pictures of Ronald the nation from his record and paralyze The Man: Call me a dreamer, but I the leader of the Reagan, Barry Goldwater, and Joe his ability to propose any more legisla- envision a world of total WASP domi- vast right-wing McCarthy on her nightstand. Hell, I tion that would have been threatening nation. A world where capitalism is conspiracy still remember how her eyes lit up when to my agenda. I really dodged a bullet free to run amok. Colleges where dead against Presi­ I gave her that Nll

<'_""'__ v~_ ..x., '_'_'«m_;;;-";;-,",;;:;::;::r:-~,,,;;,.;.,,______October 28, 1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 7 o LANTERNS & LANCES Shepard Tragedy.Becomes Political Fodder

HERE ARE A LOTOFlHINGS example of liberals' worst failing - kill," not "Thou shalt not kill, except for civil rights movement of the 1950s and you can't count on from the Left their belief that man is an infinitely those dirty homosexuals." The prob­ 60s would never have gotten off the T in America these days: intellec­ perfectible creature. Because their secu­ lem the Left has is that they cannot ground. tual coherence, patriotism, and lack of larized, relativist world view doesn't distinguish betWeen true Christians­ Reasonable people can disagree hypocrisy (see feminists and Bill allow them to recognize that evil did, who consider homosexuality a sin but over how to resolve the various debates Clinton) come to mind. However, there does, and will continue to exist, they have compassion for gays because ulti­ swirling around homosexuality and its is one particularly astounding tendency persist in believing that, gosh dam it, if matelyweareallsmners-andnutcases relation to public policy. And certainly of theirs that is we just come up with the perfect set of like Rev. Fred Phelps, who instructed one can disagree with the answers that as predictable as laws and system of "social justice," his congregation to perform the very religious conservatives offer on those a Clintonian lip­ thlr\gs like Matt Shepard's death won't un-Christian act of picketing at questions. However, the fact that a bite: the cunning happen. Do they honestly think that Shepard's funeral. For every Fred Christian conservative may say that use of indi­ having a "hate crime" law on the books Phelps and his congregation, there are having gays in the military would harm vidual tragedy in Wyoming would have prevented millions of other Christians who view morale and unit cohesion, or that he for political what those two cretins did? homosexual behavior as immoral, but has a problem with public schoolchil­ gain. Recall the If we make the mistake of deter­ know that Christianity is ultimately not dren being forced to read things like Democratic mining the relative seriousness of a about the punishment of sins, but their Heather Has Two Mommies, simply can­ Convention of crime based on what ethnic or social redemption. not be fairly equated with an encour­ 1996, when a group the victim happens to belong to, What is most discouraging to agementto murder gays. For the Left to teary-eyed Al Lee we are starting a slide down a danger­ people of faith like myself is the unfail­ make that claim is to engage in exactly Gore told of his Bockhom ous and slippery slope. It is just that ing portrayal by our liberal intelligen­ the type of stereotyping and intoler­ sister's harrow­ sort of noxious legal distinction by tsia of religious persons as Neander­ ance that they hasten to criticize. So, to ing death from group that liberals, to their credit, once thal nabob redneck yahoos who have all the liberals out there I offer this years of smoking. (Nevennind his con­ fought to abolish. Now, slaves to their nothing better to do between revival caveat: think before making the knee­ tinued acceptance of political contribu­ ideology, they have developed the an­ meetings than drink moonshine and jerk claim that religious conservatives tions from those evil tobacco compa­ noying habit of letting their good inten­ practice bigotry. Their tacit assump­ create an atmosphere where hatred is nies after her passing.) That same con­ tions get in the way of common sense. tion is that only a naive fool believes in acceptable (or the similar knee-jerk vention also witnessed the shameless The simple truth is that hate crime laws something as ridiculous as the concept claim that all people who oppose affir­ parading of newly paraplegic actor are not necessary. We already have laws of God. Nevertheless, there are still mative action are inherently racist). Just Christopher Reeve to hustle votes for on the books to deal with people like people in the world who are able to find as you desire gays to be treated equally the moral cripple currently residing at Matt Shepard's killers: murder laws. a healthy balance between reasoll arttf' before the law, I ask that you take more 1600 Pennsylvania A venue. consideration before lumping all people This trend has only worsened re­ of faith together with men whose ac­ cently. Witness the mass pilgrimage by What is most 'discouraging to people offaith like myself tions can only be described as evil. Sim­ race-baiters like AI Sharpton and Jesse ply put, it's hypocrisy-not that you've JacksontoJaspe~Texaslastyearforthe is the unfailing portrayal by our libert;zl intelligentsia ever had a problem with that (again, requisite photo op at the funeral of see feminists and Bill Clinton). l\R James Byrd, a black man who was of religious persons as Neanderthal nabob redneck dragged to death by three white men in yahoos who have nothing better to do between revival a car. And now we have the horrible death of Matthew Shepard, a 21 year meetings than drink moonshine and practice old gay student at the University of bigotry. Wyoming who was beaten and left to die by a couple of savages he met at a Our Technology Czar bar. No sooner had Shepard breathed The killers of Shepard and James Byrd revelation; some of the intellectual gi­ is his last than we had the wind-up dolls will be tried, convicted, and most likely ants of the 20th century, including T.S. Ben becoming angry. of the gay rights movement hitting the executed for their crimes, and it is ex­ Eliot and Albert Einstein (to name just You people are not airwaves to tell us that his death proves actly these types of evildoers for whom two), were deeply religious persons. visiting the web page the need for hate crime laws protecting drawing-and-quartering should make However~ this is not the only prob­ homosexuals; and furthermore, that a comeback. lem today's cultural elite has with reli­ often enough. Please religious conserv;1tives had created an Having summarily dismissed the gion. The, other is that religion (espe­ visit the web page. Ben "atmosphere" where such acts as foolishness of hate crime laws, let us cially the Judeo-Christian variety) is Shepard's beating were tacitly accepted, now examine the most disturbing as­ one of the few forces left in society that has powers. He speaks if not encouraged. pect of the aftermath of Shepard's death: has the audacity to tell our self-indul­ to the machines with Shameless? You bet. A person's the finger-pointing being done by gay gent, let-it-ride culture that there are his mind and frightens body isn't even cold before people start rights activists at religious conserva­ still some things that aren't good to do. to use them for political gain. And to tives. They cite various public state­ This is simply a no-no in a society where us all. Oh no, here he attach blame to persons who had no ments over the past several months by "tolerance" and not hurting anyone's comes! Visit the direct responsibility for these crimes is such persons as Senator Trent Lott and feelings have been enshrined as cardi­ an outrage. More on that herewith, but football player Reggie White, as well as nal virtues. Heaven forbid (pun in­ . website at: first,let's examine hate crime laws and a recent ad campaign by several con­ tended) that religious people start to see just how ridiculous they are. servative pro-family groups which pro­ push their way into the political sphere; The problem with the concept of moted the idea that gays c'ould be con­ as the New York Times editorialized a these laws is that they are just another verted to heterosexuality with the help few years ago, public policy advocacy -mrev of God. by religious conservatives constitutes Lee Bockhorn is a senior in LSA and Music . Now there wasn't one ounce of "a far greater threat to democracy than and the editor-in-chief of the Review. He "hate" in these ads, and certainly no was presented by communism." They just wants to say he's here, he's hetera-­ suggestion that people of faith go out seem to have forgotten that without seXUQl, get used to it! and kill a gay person for kicks. The Ten people of faith, the slavery abolition , .,. ...' '. Commandments say "Thou shalt not movement of the 19th century and the

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BY BENJAMIN ROUSCH hons. However, with the spread of En­ tion of much of the faculty who cur­ intended to expose the average white glish as a universal language, knowing rently teach the 200- and 300-levellan­ person to racial and gender minorities. HE UNIVERSITY OF a foreign tongue is not necessary for guage courses, as well as the restruc­ Butwhy? A closer look at what is taught Michigan has become obsessed communicating in non-Western land~ turing of the core curriculum. in many of the R & E classes exposes the T with diversity. It seems like So the University has concocted an­ real reason for the R & E requirement: every time you read a quote from the other reason for requiring a foreign The Sordid R & E Requirement to fill whites with guilt for being who administration, it has some comment language as a graduation requirement: they are, so they will support the U-M's reaWnning the University's commit­ by knowing the syntax and semantics The Race and Ethnicity requirement affirmative action policies. A typical R ment to providing the most diverse of another language, you somehow gain is the core of the University's attempt to & E class teaches students about the education of any institution. The ad­ an insight into the culture where it is provide a "diverse" education. Every evils the white man has performed ministration believes that a diverseedu­ spoken, and thus you are attaining part LS&A student is required to take a class against minorities, with the intent of cation can be achieved by injecting "di­ of a diverse education. which focuses on issues of race and making them feel bad about the plight versity courses" into the traditional lib­ This is very convenient for the U-M prejudice. Left to their own devices, of the repressed. This guilt, it is ex­ eral arts curriculum of the College of administration, since, despite the rise most students would never take a class pected, will drive whites to join in the Literatur;, Science, and the Arts. The of English as a universal language, they in the Afro-American Studies, Women's defense of the University'S affirmative U-M's preoccupation with diversity is can still justify the millions of dollars Studies, or American Culture depart­ action programs. threatening the quality of education spent on outdated foreign language ments, or any of the other courses des­ I'm sure you agree that the R & E that students receive, and may be dis­ departments and faculty. However, ignated to fulfill the requirement. The requirement should be eliminated when tracting administrators from thinking there is a flaw in the administration's only reason these departments exist is you consider its racist and deceitful about the aspects of a liberal arts educa­ thinking: learning a second language so that the U-M administration has an purpose. A restructuring of the lan­ tion in today's technology-driven work­ to fourth-term proficiency is not enough excuse to hire more minority faculty. guage requirement would have the ef­ place. to give students a diverse education. The only reasons most people take a fect of exposing students of any race or The U-M administration says that Sure, students get a glimpse into the class in these departments are: a) they gender to another culture and way of it wants to provide a diverse education, culture of a foreign people, but the are a member of the group "studied" thinking, without ulterior motives or but it is difficult to get them to define emphasis is on understanding the lan­ by the department, or b) they are fulfill­ exploiting racial guilt for the "diversity." By looking at the affirma­ guage, not the culture. Insights into the ing the R & E requirement. Without the administration's personal agenda. tive action policies used in admissions foreign culture are just a side effect of R & E requirement, the administration and hiring, it is obvious that they are learning the language: they are not the could not possibly justify the money The Skimpy English Requirement only interested in having a campus primary result. spent on sustaining such farcical de- population composed of different skin If the U-M really wanted to use the partments. -.-~' English is today's universal lan­ colors. Diversity, despite what they tell guage. In many countries, students you at Orientation, is more than just must learn it as a secondary language, skin color. A truly diverse education is Left to their own devices, most students butweAmericans are fortunate enough one in which a student learns to look at to have it as our primary language. We the world from many different angles would never take a class in the take various English classes in every and gains the ability to put themselves grade of our primary education, but in someone else's shoes. A truly di­ Afro-American Studies, Women's Studies, when we get to the U-M, we only need verse and useful education can be found two English courses to graduate. It is at the U-M, but not by following the or American Culture departments. odd that we need foui classes in a ran­ out-dated and~lf-serving curriculum dom foreign language, but only two devised by the administration. courses in the language spoken foreign language requirement as a The University explains that the throughout America and the rest of the The Infamous Language means to contribute to a diverse educa­ purpose of the R & E requirement is to world. By neglecting this essential part Requirement tion, it would make students learn more expose students to a culture that they of a liberal arts education, the U-M is than just one foreign language. Stu­ would not otherwise encounter. But jeopardizing the quality of education The language requirement has al­ dents would learn languages from the true reason for the R & E require­ students receive. ways been a point of controversy at the many different cultures and from ev­ ment is apparent after a little more in­ Employers expect that, at a mini­ U-M. LS&A students are required to ery part of the world. Then they would spection. Most of the classes fulfilling mum, students graduating with a lib­ take four terms of a foreign language have knowledge of a large enough the R & E requirement center around a eral arts degree from the prestigious (or attain a level of-proficiency equiva­ sample of cultures and languages to single instance of what is generally con­ University of Michigan will have a lent to a fourth-term language course), make educated and diverse conclusions sidered a racial or gender minority. mastery of English grammar, familiar­ even if they do not plan on using that about the world we live in. Any statis­ How does a class about African-Ameri­ ity with historic literary works, and language when they leave college. Any­ tician will tell you that a sample-size of cans expose an African-American stu­ possess the ability to write clearly. The one who has suffered through four two is insufficient for drawing any kind dent to a culture or people he does not current English requirement does not terms of Spanish or French will tell you of meaningful conclusion normally encounter? Or how does a provide any of these skills to an accept­ that they hated it. They feel like they I believe that students would get a woman taking a class about women able level. I have read few papers writ­ wasted 16 credit hours learning a lan­ much more diverse education by learn­ expose her to ideas she would not con­ ten by U-M students that contained guage they will never use and will prob­ ing the basics of even two or three sider? In fact, it is likely that a racial or passable grammar, organization, and ably forget how to speak within a couple different foreign languages, with an gender minority will take a class in the clarity of thought. There are even fewer years. Even if they do happen to visit a emphasis on how that language shapes department devoted to his or her re­ students I have met who are well read foreign country, it is most likely that the native speakers' culture (and vice­ spective minority status. in the classic literature of Western soci­ the natives will speak English, and they versa) than they do with the present It is obvious, then, that the R & E ety. The U-M simply

----~---x...::..::....::> ____~~ ___n_'o_ ~.>:~:~:=..=--,---,~-,:;,;:" October 28, 1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 9 o CAMPUS AFFAIRS DaY$"of Action • • •

BY BRIAN COOK ing that span.) Or, perhaps the UWSA to their cause, .their less-radical breth­ rights activists. I saw eyes glaze over as has taken a cue from our great defender ren, and the country's social dialogue she rambled on about abortion and T DID NOT TAKE LONG FOR of women's (specifically, intern's) as a whole. Any attendee of last year's militancy, hilariously claiming that the the Undergraduate Women's rights, Bill Clinton, and lied in spirit, if Ward Connerly "debate" remembers 1992" rebellion" (read: riots) in Los An­ I Studies Association (USWA) to not in letter. the disgusting and useless farce that geles directly impacted the Supreme lose their credibility with me. As I ar­ Even if the USWA had a valid point Shanta Driver and her fellow indignant Court's refusal to overturn Roe v. Wade rived to observe their October 22 rally (which it does not, since the NCAA screamers made out of the proceed­ that year. When she fin~lly finished with the Coalition To Defend Affirma­ handed down the Ray suspension, not ings. How can one respect a cause that wasting the planet's precious oxygen, I tive Action By Any Means Necessary . the University), everything they had to will not even allow the other side to be had a small epiphany . (BAMN) on the steps of Angell Hall, I say in the hour-and-a-half of speeches heard? The policies BAMN defends are was handed a small slip of paper con­ interspersed with the ranting to follow Such desperation to prevent a bal­ hypocritical. They make little sense and trasting the suspensions of Marcus Ray was polluted. What a shame that was, anced debate speaks volumes. Perhaps only serve to reinforce this country's and Jason Brooks. too. Otherwise, I could have really pon­ BAMN fears that when people hear atmosphere of self-segregation. The On the slip were gross simplifica­ dered the significance of a few dozen reasonable arguments from both sides, BAMN-certified lunatic knows this in tions and misrepresentations of the women, who had obviously never they will choose to dismantle reverse­ their deep subconscious, but they can­ truth. To whit, they stated that Brooks handled a weapon in their lives, dis­ racism. Perhaps they fear that if they not accept it. That is why they "reject had received "no formal suspension" cussing the formation of a "new mili­ stop screaming, people will have time the reluctant, moderate defenders of . for his fourth degree sexual assault con­ tant women's rig~ts movement" as if to mull over the hypocrisies they es­ affirmative action." That is why they viction, whereas Ray had been sus­ they had just accepted the surrender of pouse. Perhaps they know that they are misrepresent the truth. They know that pended for six games for having con­ the Michigan Militia. genuinely uninteresting, irrelevant unless they confuse you, unless they tact with a sports agent. We can only Therein lies the fundamental prob­ people unless they are radical. In any bewilder and frighten you to the point assume that the UWSA was ignorant of lem with BAMN, the USWA, and all case, BAMN's false militancy is an at­ where you are irrational, you will dis­ the fact that Brooks was not allowed to their ideological siblings: they lie to tempt to conceal theii: many flaws. agree with' them. play in the first four games of the sea­ themselves. The issues they rave about And, judging by the sparse, nay, They are afraid. r...R son. (He did not even make the trip to are neither as simple nor as dear cut as pathetic attendance at the DOA rally Notre Dame, the only away game dur- they would like. They are extremely (Day of Action or Dead on Arrival, complex. By simplifying every social same difference), it is a failed attempt. Read the Revieu'. Brian Cook is a sophomore who fears noth­ issue in the country to a battle between Driver got to bluster, yes, but this time ing, not even screaming irrational people, the oppressed and the oppressors, it was to a crowd of mildly amuse5l.c Or else. and is a staff writer for tJze Review. BAMN and their ilk do great disservice passers-by and disinterested w9m~rS-

• • • Dead on Arrival

BY AMOL PARULEKAR ied and became a lawyer, politician or thought our common goal was equality BAMN tum every civilized debate! educator so you could support your throughout. Maybe it's just the tiny bit discussion on the subject into a loud, H YES, THERE'S NOTHING cause with some deliverable results, of goodness in my body (I think it's angry screaming match where the pass­ like a little protest now an9. instead of forcing reading material on called a soul) that makes me think that word is "racism." Ahem, Ward A again to stir things up on cam­ passers-by that contains little more than our country is more tolerant than racist Connerly. pus. Last Wednesday, October 2"1st, the misrepresentations of facts in black and and that two people of different eco­ The world is filled with racists and University once again honored "Don't white, albeit with all of the c's replaced nomic status would have a greater di­ bigots. You can either hate them (which let your child go to class day," also by k's(Amerika, Lloyd Karr, etc.). This vide amongst them than two people of is kinda ironic because ... now you're the known as the "Day of Action." This accomplishes little more than aggra­ different races. hate-monger ... however you'll argue groundbreaking, Chicago-Sevenesque vating the entire issue of affirmative The modem day racist isn't wear­ how you have righteousness on your demonstration brought in close to 200 action. ing an easily recognizable white sheet side ... whichnot-so-surprisingly is what people (I'm pretty sure that Roxbury The opposing sides can never re­ or anything like that;it's a fellow in an they also say) or ignore them. All we can movie brought in more people) to sup­ solve their differences because they are expensive suit that hides behind righ­ do is live our life avoiding them and port the defense of affirmative action so far apart on the political spectrum teousness and preys on the misconcep­ enjoying our world. MR on campus. Now although it might that neither can hear the other side tions of others. If we avoid the concept sound as if I'm mocking these people, I shouting how they are right. of racism and discriminate against must say that I do have a certain level of I agree that America isn't a Norman people in others way (lack of intelli­ respect for them. Their crusade, for Rockwell painting of country-goodness gence, dress funny, from Jersey) and those of you have haven't had their and happiness, but I think that it's get­ not even think about race, racism will wares thrust upon you as you go ting there. My views on affirmative go away. Now this ostrich-like ap­ "The mob has through the Diag, is to level the playing action are as follows (angry, nitpicking proach to the ills of the world might field in"Amerikan" education, and they letter-to-the-editor writers power up sound stupid and unrealistic, but think many heads, but have accomplished just that. By skip­ your word processors): I don't believe about it. If you simply avoid the racists ping class to protest for something the that people should be given any type of and let them have their little marches no brains." school supports, they didn't learn any­ special treatment based on race. How­ and their demonstrations, you'll take thing that day, and by trouncing around ever, I also believe that in the land of away the air that fans their flames. campus yelling and screaming, they free, things aren't as equal as those As for debating the issue, it won't - 17th century disrupted the classes in their path, so episodes of Friends where the entire get you anywhere. Any type of civil nobody could learn anything. Ignorance crew goes down to a place with some debate doesn't work, because neither English proverb for all. Congratulations, mission accom­ black people and resolve most race and of the debaters will give in, leaving plished! ethnicity issues in 22 minutes while everyone infuriated, nobody converted, How is skipping class supposed to spewing off racially charged witticisms. and the issue unresolved. I'd happily defend equality in education? Wouldn't Just being a minority shouldn't sit down and debate anyone on affir­ the cause be better served if you stud- . qualify you for anything special. I mative action, however the lunatics at

"" ., -,~,,,,~"..., .....- ... --.., -,,-~",,,--,~,.----.---, ,,,,, -----...,..,-,--~~_.... _------10 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW October 28, 1998 o POLITICS Liar, Liar " If'~

BY MAITHEW BUCKLEY the state GOP: Don't run advertise­ with opposition to affirmative action ments against Bonior, only prevents us ments whose fundamental claims are apparently makes one a dangerous rac­ from finding solutions to national prob­ o OOUBT ABOUT IT, I AM misrepresentations when the relevant ist indeed. In last Thursday's Daily, a lems? a political junkie. Any news misrepresentation can be discovered letter to the editor by LSA junior Kevin It's a cliche nowadays to say that N show, pundit program, or pub- by anyone with a pulse, an Internet Jones claimed that Cohen "has ex­ sticks and stones can break bones, but lic affairs special you can name, I have connection, and five free minutes.) pressed blatantly racist views concern­ . that words can't harm. In politics, how­ probably watched. Heck, I even know So the GOP claim is literally true, ing African American students on this ever, since sticks and stones aren't ac­ the differences between C-SPAN and yet dearly a stretch. It's not as if Bonior's campus[.] ... He has published articles .ceptable weapons, words have to serve C-SPAN2, which has to put me in a position can't be criticized - there may (that can be [found in] various data­ instead. Politicians employ words with very small class of people. well be merits to taking these sorts of bases on the Web) ... explicitly denounc­ the specific purpose of hurting one an­ The shows themselves are only decisions out of judicial hands. But why ing the presence of African"Americans other. Given this, politicians have a about ninety percent of the fun. Since run a nuanced ad dealing with these in institutions of higher learning." responsibility to use their nouns, verbs, politicians can typically arrange with subtleties when one could simply tar I suspect that what Cohen actually and adjectives accurately. They have a television stations when to run their Bonior as asoft-on-crime lefty? Clearly, "denounces" is something like this: duty, to the public and to their oppo­ campaign advertisements, they aim for the temptation was too much for the some African-American students at­ nents, to be fair. particular audiences. Since politicians Republicans. tending the University gained admis­ When they don't, the process of try to aim for civic-minded individu­ Democracy is hardly perfect, but sion with scores that, had they been the democracy suffers. I concede that ex­ als, this means they run their advertise­ it's the best system we've got. For de­ scores of white students, would have trapolated arguments and ridiculous ments smack in the middle of all my mocracy to work well, though, we gotten them rejected. That race-based assessments of one's opponents are shows. As a political junkie, I love pe­ need accurate representations of politi­ disparity, he submits, is problematic. easy, tempting, and occasionally effec­ liticaladvertisements. Some days, when cal positions. Given that, the electorate This is not the same as the claim above tive. However, we ought to aspire to all I see is political television shows in theory is free to pick the candidates that Cohen denounces "the presence of have political debate as a forum in which interspersed with political advertise­ and positions that they prefer. Sure, African Americans in institutions· of we articulate and defend our own posi­ ments, I'm in hog heaven. tions, rather than one in which we tell The last few weeks, though, I've half-truths about the positions of oth­ been pretty troubled ... by the dishon­ ers.l\R esty in political commercials. (As my I'm a realist, and I know that a perfect world of roommate points out, it makes about as political campaigning will be a long time coming. much sense to be troubled by the sun coming up in the morning.) Don't get However, we can certainly note that certain claims, i.e. me wrong. I'm a pretty red-meat con­ "David Bonior wants to let rapists move into YOUR· servative, and totally understand tak­ ing pieces oEan opponent's record and neighborhood - right nowl II," are garbage. making that an issue. If you represent an environmentalist district and your opponent is a Sierra Club member who I'm a realist, and I know that a perfect higher learning." What affirmative ac­ wants to impound every chainsaw in world of political campaigning will be tion opponents believe is hardly that the US, pointing that out is legitimate. a long time coming. However, we can broad. However, I have my limits. A re­ certainly note that certain claims, i.e. We might also note that Jones' let­ cent ad campaign launched by the "David Bonior wants to let rapists move ter to the editor is laudably clear about Michigan Republican Party announced into YOUR neighborhood - right its claim that Cohen is a racist. In fact, that Democratic Congressman David now!!!," are garbage. Putting these he claims that apparently anyone with VOTE Bonior "voted to allow judges to let claims out with the direct intention of a computer and some time can find drug dealers and even violent crimi­ suckering swing voters makes a mock­ obvious evidence from the Internet of nals out of prison early." A photo of ery of political advocacy. Cohen's racism. Articles in databases Bonior is flipped up on the screen, and If this was an isolated ad, it might will prove it! Well, I ran a few Yahoo ON then text blocks screaming the words be one thing. If it was really only a searches, and while I did find that Cohen "rapists" and "drug dealers" emerge. problem in national politics, it might-be opposes affirmative action and gets Why, Bonior wants to help these something else. What actually seems to quoted in lots of newspaper articles people? Rapists and n;l.Urderers? What be going on is widespread exaggera­ about the subject, I simply couldn't find is this world coming to? tion of people's claims, ignoring that evidence of real racism. This, one might NOVEMBER As a Republican, I knew this ad one's claim are essentially lies. It's even suggest, is hardly a surprise. If Jones had to be too good to be true. Most happening right here at U-M, all the actually had a damning quote from politicians are smarter than to sign bills time. Cohen's mouth indicating real racism, along the line of, oh, say ... H.R. 0001 It's no secret that BAMN and other it would have been used in his letter to Early Release for Rapists and Drug radical groups in support of affirma­ the editor. 3rd Dealers. I might disagree with Bonior tive action have picked up the tactic of This by itself is as bad as the GOP's politically, but I suspected something calling opponents of affirmative action ridiculous attack ad. Jones will never else was up. "racists." Recent controversy about give you a premise-te-conclusion argu­ As I suspected, Bonior didn't really naming a Residential College reading ment showing that "affirmative action vote for such a release. The actual bill at room after longtime professor Carl opponent" equals "racist," since it can't issue was one which tried to undercut Cohen is only the latest in a long line of be done. Of course, Jones' letter is sim­ the power of federal judges when deal­ such attacks. ply a quick smear hit-and-run, so he ing with cases involving prison over­ Whoever floated this idea had to probably doesn't care - the connec­ crowding. What Bonior actually voted have known it would be controversial, tion between opposing affirmative ac­ for was the position that judges should since Cohen has been a leader in dis­ tion and racism is probably obvious in retain their ability to decide these cases, covering information about the his mind. But is there any doubtthat his even if their rulings occasionally led to University's affirmative action policies. rhetoric, which is just as deceptive as the release of violent offenders. (Hint to Combining this search for knowledge the Michigan. GOP's crime advert~se-

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BY JAY FIGURSKI elders that has been in existence since ested in individual freedom. They will an international political party formed World War II. The older generation felt be more inclined to be in touch with a around environmental activism. The EGEND HAS IT, BACK IN HIS responsible to the world for the de­ Germany that has changed a lot since Greens, traditionally known in Ger­ days as a member of the Ger­ struction and ill will caused by the Ger­ the Kohl generation shaped its political many for their often extreme positions, L man parliament in the 80s, mans' role in the war. This guilt has ideology. The traditionally hard-work­ especially concerning environmental Gerhard Schroeder stood in front of the played a major role in determining ing nation now relaxes with the short­ issues, seemed simultaneously sur­ chancellor's building in Bonn and yelled German domestic and foreign policy, est working week and the most paid prised and ecstatic about having a or want to get in there." Well, his wish as the people of that generation have holidays of any industrialized country chance to indulge themselves in real came true in Germany's federal elec­ always been the ones in power in post­ in the world. political influence. Within days after tions this September, with Schroeder's war Germany. The younger genera­ Schroeder, 54, once a full-fledged Schroeder made the first public state­ Social Democratic party winning 41 % tion, born well after the war, does not Marxist, gradually made his platform ment alluding to a possible Social of the votes. Incumbent chancellor feel responsible for a war they had noth­ less extreme and widened voter ap­ Democrat-Green coalition, GreeD party Helmut Kohl's Christian Democratic ing to do with, and has distanced them­ peal. Much like Bill Clinton, 5<;hroeder parliamentary leader Jo~chka Fischer party, which has been in power for selves from this guilt. journeyed down a political pathway was inspired to suddenly renounce his sixteen years, suffered their worst elec­ U-M political science professor Ron known as the "third way," which advo­ party's more extremist platforms, such tion results in forty years, taking a mere Inglehart fot;esees this new generation cates moderation as opposed to extreme as pulling Germany out of NATO. 35°,{, of the votes. as being "more assertive and less apolo­ free-market rightist ideology or social­ Inglehart predicts this pattern of mod­ The differences between Schroeder getic" in their newly-won roles in gov­ ist left ideology. eration in the Green party will con­ and Kohl transcend appearance, per­ ernment. Germany, which has often The 41% margin which the Social tinue. He states: "The [Green] party sonality, and, yes, as unthinkable as it taken a backseat in major European Democrats won in the election is not a will keep alienating themselves from may seem, even politics. The two men and worldwide political and social is­ majority in the German Bundestag (par­ extremism, and the nobly idealistic represent very different eras in modem sues despite being the primary eco­ liament). In German political tradition, wing will have to shut up." Inglehart German history - and Schroeder's vic­ nomic power in Europe, will do so no the party which has the most seats (the also explained that the Green leader­ tory signals the end of the old~r more. Social Democrats) chooses to form a ship represents the moderate faction of generation's domination in govern­ Though a duty to the nation and a coalition with another party in the gov­ the party, and that the major decision­ ment. great sense of self-sacrifice embodied ernment in order to establish a solid making will ultimately rest with them. Schroeder's generation (commonly the Kohl generation, which supposedly majority. Although a coalition for the He cited a classic political pattern that referred to as the "68ers" due to the represented a traditionally simple and new government has not yet been social change brought about by student hard-working Germany, Schroeder and formed, Schroeder has announced that Please see GERMANY on Page 12 protests in 1968) lacks the guilt of their his peers will tend to. be more mter- his party will team up with the qreens';' O~RE . . Hulk Hogan Next on Fieger's Agenda

BY DAVID GUIPE Democratic Party is the one that has a than one would think. In the last poll could stand in for the governor and donkey as its mascot. Fieger is the attor­ that I saw, Fiegerwas trailing Engler by debate Fieger. Hmm, me debating ES, THE BIG MIDTERM ney for Dr. Jack "No, really, you won't only thirty points! My guess is that the Geoffery Fieger. It would probably go elections are right around the feel a thing" Kevorkian, the infamous twenty five percent of voters who are something like this: Y comer. That'sright,injustafew Michigan physician who helps people actually considering voting for Fieger short days, a whopping three percent kill themselves using common house­ are made up of hardline Democrats, Moderator: "Mr Fieger, what is your of all registered voters will go to the hold materials such as styrofoam and Engler haters, and BAMN members. view on taxes?" polls and vote for their favorite candi­ "Cap'n Crunch." Several factors moti­ As a matter of fact, my curiosity about Geoffery Fieger: "Taxes are stupid. As dates. Prospects for Republican candi­ vated Fiegerto run for Governor, among what the general public thinks of Fieger governor, I will see to it that the 'Sales l dates look especially good in the state them being his hatred for current Gov­ prompted me to take my own unoffi­ Tax', the 'More Than Twelve Kids Tax l of Michigan this year. You see, this year ernor John Engler, his realization that cial poll. During the course of my day, and the 'Inhaling Oxygen Tax' are all Michigan Republicans have a secret every other Democrat in the race was a I asked random people what they think eliminated." weapon. A weapon that is guaranteed joke, and the little known 118 year old of the guy. The results looked some­ Me Debating Geoffery Fieger: "Geoff, to bring the Democratic Party to its law that grants every state official a free thing like this: that's all good and well, but I see one knees and deliv~r virtually every state pig on Christmas. So, after narrowly 97% of the population think that minor flaw in your tax cutting plan." office into the hands of the GOP. That defeating the labor unions' pick, Com­ Fieger is a moron. Geoffery Fieger: (sarcastically) "Oh weapon is Geoffery Fieger. rade Larry Owen, in the Democratic 68% feel genuine sympathy for the yeah? What's that?" Right now you're probably think­ primary, Fieger set his sights on the man. Me Debating Geoffery Fieger: "Two ing, "Dave, are you insane? Geoffery Governor's office and on his only ob­ 39% think that the world would be of those taxes don't exist! Guess which Fieger is the Democratic candidate for stacle to getting there, Gov. John Engler. better off if Fieger was Kevorkian's two." Governor. He hates Republicans. His Now Fieger's no politician, made patient instead of his attorney. Geoffery Fieger: "Well, uh, I, uh, say, dream is to see every Republican in the obvious by his campaign strategy, 15% think that Fieger looks a lot did anyone notice how FAT the gover­ whole wide world die a slow and ago­ which goes something like this: like a pro wrestler. nor is?" nizing death while repres~tatives from 2% will vote for him if a potential various disadvantaged groups point at l.Tell everyone that you're no politi­ hangover doesn't stop them from get­ Oh well. There will always be the them and laugh. Yet you say that he is cian. ting to the polls on Election Day. dream. Anyway, just because Fieger is the GOP's secret weapon?" 2.Make the point that you have views going to suffer an embarrassing loss on Yes, I do say that Geoffery Fieger is on many important issues without It's a shame that there weren't any Election Day that will scar him for the the GOP's secret weapon. Of course, he mentioning any of them. gubernatorial debates. Engler could rest of his life doesn l t mean that he has doesn't know it. For those of you who 3.Make fun of the Governor's weight. have easily made Fieger look like a to go back to being a lawyer. There are don't follow politics and have no clue complete fool, but our governor is too plenty of other options for him. Next what I'm talking about, allow me to fill Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a nice of a guy to do that. Besides, it's not week on WCW, Geoffery Fieger versus you in. Geoffery Fieger is the Demo­ little, but you get the idea. Well, this like Fieger needs help looking like a Hollywood Hulk Hogan. You heard it cratic candidate for Governor. The strategy seems to be working better fool. It almost. makes me wish that I here first. l\R

",.~_. __ ~_,." ...• _.~.~.~_.·,,",.".w •. ~_.,•. ··'~·_··'·_'·"'~···"'.·--"~- _____4"""' ______12 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW October 28, 1998

SAPAC >~" \~ " ~r" continued from Page 1 as individuals cease viewing rape, lence Against Women Act of 1994. in­ and operates Safewalk and Northwalk, sexual assault, and domestic violence terestingly, among the several ques­ helping to prevent more victims. How­ (another greatly inflated statistic that tions Ms. Chitanda refused to answer ever, its use of misleading or false sta­ partment as well). Furthermore, it is brevity does not permit me to discuss was how large SAP AC's budget is. tistics is highly improper, especially likely that at least a few reports were here) as isolated, rare incidents, and To be fair, SAP AC runs an array of considering the fact that this propa­ false, pushing the actual figures some:­ instead as an epidemic affecting tens of needed programs. It manages a crisis­ ganda is financed with University (Le. what lower. millions of women, they immediately line, counsels victims of sexual assault, students') money. f\.R Another statistic SAPAC frequently demand tougher protection to prevent cites is that only 1 out of 6 rapes are more "victims." Indeed, during my in­ SAPAC believes that all men are potential rapists. reported to the police. Even if you ac­ terview with SAP AC Director Virginia cept the accuracy of this number, it Chitanda, she spoke frequently about BAMN believes that everyone opposed to affirmative action means that there were 198 sexual as­ the need to 1/ err on the side of caution" saults directed against the men and and "up the standard." For feminist is racist. women of the entire city of Ann Arbor, thinkers and organizations such as Ms., including the University (much less this usually means loosely worded le­ MIM believes that Maoist Communism is the future. then the SAPAC supplied 750 for Uni­ gal definitions so that practically every versity women alone). Without ques­ human behavior can be described as RAIL believes there is a war against blacks being perpe­ tion, every one of these incidents is a sexual harassment, assault, stalking, or tragedy, and the local governing au­ domestic violence. Such broadened trated by the FBI. thorities should do everything they can definitions also increase the number of to stop sexual predators. However, victims (as previously minor crimes What does all this mean? SAPAC's deceitful orientation seminar, are re-characterized as the moral and and its grossly misleadin"g statistics are legal equivalentto rape), creating a cycle Acronyms breed left-wing radicalism. not the answer. They reinforce an ex­ or propaganda, fear, and excess reac­ treme feminist stereotype of men as tion. SAP AC expresses these goals Neanderthal beasts seeking only sexual through its Networking, Publicity, and Forget all these groups and join the Review. Absolutely no domination and gratification. They seek Action Department, which advocates acronyms guaranteed. to paint a picture of countless hordes of and conducts letter-writing campaigns young women falling victim to patriar­ for stronger laws. To support their anti­ Come to one of our action-packed staff meetings every Tues­ chal suppression. Thus, their statistics sexual predator programs, feminists day night at 7 pm in the Michigan League building. are not intended to educated freshmen, also tend to demand more public -~~ .... so much as indoctrinate them. As soon money, symbolized by the gigantic Via-

today, and most of those jobs require It is obvious that computers will Germany Diversity some experience with a computer. For figure in somewhere in your future, Continued from page 8 a vast majority of these occupations, and that their influence throughout the Continued from page 11 you don't need to know how to create world will only grow. The administra­ It is difficult to determine why the an operating system or install a CPU, tion needs to institute some kind of "when extreme parties get into power, University is so lax in the English re­ but you do need to know how to use a basic computing technology require­ they are tamed." quirement. Perhaps the administration word processor, some form of a Bill ment soon, before the value of a U-M Inglehart foresees very little change is assuming that students receive suffi­ Gates operating system, and even the degree is lessened because its holders with regard to the social issues and cient instruction in high school. How­ World Wide Web. So why doesn't the don't know how to use a mouse. rights of German racial minorities, pri­ ever, if the high school education was U-M require computer proficiency for marily Turkish working-class immi­ sufficient, then most of the students graduation? The Final Solution grants. While Schroeder might be in­ would have submitted excellent writ­ Every other school that I know of, clined to push for more voting and ing portfolios and placed out of the from community colleges to Big 10 ri­ In order to give students the liberal citizenship rights for the German un­ English 124/125 requirement. This is vals, requires that students take at least arts education they both expect and derdass, Inglehart sees Schroeder as obviously not the case, so it is apparent one computer class before graduation pay for, the University of Michigan "not being concerned with [minority that either the administration is ne:­ -except the U-M. You may have been administrators must review and revise issues] too much." This would be a glecting its responsibilities to the stu­ taught how to use a word processor for the core requirements for graduation. continuation of the Kohl government's dents, or there is once again a hidden your English 124 class, or learned to In order for the U-M to meet its goal of handling of the issue. Kohl, who was agenda at work. There is no plausible surf the Web when researching a pa­ a diverse education, the Language Re­ successful at avoiding the question of hidden agenda, so it is evident that the per, but you were probably never for­ quirement must be brought into the minority rights in an extremely racially U-M is simply neglecting this funda­ mally introduced to the wonderful twentieth century, and the Race and stratified society, traditionally kept the mental part of the students' education. world of computing. The U-M does Ethnicity Requirement must be abol­ issue out of the public spotlight. The solution is simple: require a greater offer one such introductory computing ished. To meet the expectations of em­ It will be interesting to observe the quantity and wider variety of English course, but it is not required and few ployers and believers in "The Leaders change that is bound to occur in Ger­ and Literature courses for graduation. people even know that it exists. and Best" everywhere, the U-M must many over the next few months as a The administrators have been so institute a basic computing requirement left-wing government receives the reins The Non-Existent Computer caught up with racial diversity in the and enhance the English and Literature of power for the first time since 1982. Requirement past few years that they have failed to requirement. Only through these or Let's just hope the left-wingers eventu­ look outside of the University of similar changes will the U-M once again ally emerge from their stay in power in A traditional liberal arts or even a Michigan's multi-colored walls to see become the elite public institution it Germany with a public image a bit less newfangled diverse education is a won­ what is going on in the real world. once was. f\.R ... scathed than they have in the current derful thing. A student with such a Computers are everywhere. You will administration in this country. M1 degree can look at a situation from have to use one when you get a job, but many points of view and come to an that is one thing you aren't required to informed conclusion, but what can one learn at the U-M. You need to know do with such a degree? The~ are a lot of how to survive in a racially diverse jobs for liberal arts majors in the world world, but not in Cybers}?ace. @ :firm Winfrey Successful, J\gain

BY TOM JOLLIFFE historical cognizance she evinced in The performance more than rises to the oc- twenty-ninth day is revolting, but raises Color Purple and Native Son. casion. into relief the notion of that fading vir- o MANY FOLKS, OPRAH The film begins with a startling Beloved plays out in a series of flash- tue, Responsibility. Sethe's commit- Winfrey is the decade's pre­ glimpse of supernatural mayhem in backs illustrating Sethe's passage to ment to her family is something liter- T miere heroine; an inimitable Sethe's Ohio house. After two sons flee, Ohio and the "first twenty-eight days ally awesome, even if her modus oper- paragon of ambition and good nature. Sethe remains steadfast in the haunted of freedom" enjoyed at Bluestone Street. andi is bloodcurdling. In Sethe we see While her television talk-show has not Ohio home with her daughter Denver These four weeks of utopian self-suffi- courage, as w:ell as a certain matter-of- always been above the regrettable sub­ (Kimberly Elise); she refuses to run yet ciency for Sethe, her mother-in-law fact sensibility. The supernatural is jects for which daytime programming once more in their life. When old friend Baby Suggs (Beah Richards), and her treated here as a condition to be faced, is so notorious, the decency of its host is Paul D. (Danny Glover) takes up with two little girls and boys are golden- not fled from. When the family dog a saving grace. In that milieu, only them, the spectral activity ends - and hued, rich recollections. Some of loses its eyes to the spirit's malevolent Geraldo Rivera approaches Oprah's new phenomena of sorts begin. A mys­ Beloved's most moving scenes are the thrashing, Sethe finds them again and sincerity, and none touch her empathy. terious, awkward young woman ap­ memories of enigmatic Baby Suggs replaces them in their sockets. With her various dimensions of charac­ pears in front of the house - she calls leading the village folks in woodland In building themselves a life fol- ter and ability, Oprah remains fresh in herself Beloved. In caring for their re­ spiritual sessions; these images of over- lowing the inhumanity of the planta- the public view. cuperating guest, Sethe and Denver due liberty and group solidarity touch tion, people like Sethe and Paul D. faced grow fond of the spirit-like, erratic Be­ the quick. The twenty-ninth day, how- an enormous task. On paper, their lot loved (ThandieNewton), despite a last­ ever, is a different story. When the Ken- improved, but when we account for tJ3efovetf ing uncertainty surrounding the girl's tucky plantation owners from the their indelible memories and the dis- Directed by Jonathan Derome origin. It is within this framework that "Sweet Home" catch up with Sethe and crimination facing them, their new life Starring Oprah Winfrey, Danny the controversy about her "too-thick" her family, the filmgoer witnesses one was hardly easy. It would be a century Glover, Thandie Newton love, and the true nature of Beloved, of the more dreadfully moving scenes before their ancestors could begin to are revealed. in recent memory, Saving Private Ryan assume their natural and equal station Enter Jonathan Denune's film Be­ The cinematic realization of included. The consequences of the in life, but the first postbellum African- loved, the stirring runaway-slavedrama Morrison's book has been on co-pro­ twenty-ninth day's action form the meat Americans were determined to give adapted from Toni Morrison's Pulitzer ducer Winfrey's agenda for over a de­ of the movie, such that divulging the their life meaning through faith and Prize-winning novel. In taking the role cade, and she has been unswerving in content here would be ruinous. sacrifice. With Derome as her deft di- of Sethe, a woman who helped her fam­ her commitment to portray Beloved's The themes at heart of Beloved are rector, Winfrey has given us an impor- ilyescape an oppressive Kentucky plan­ protagonist. Without falling prey to hy­ overdue for the contemporary Ameri- tant glimpse of this grinding condition tation, Winfrey shows the social and perbole, it may be said that Winfrey's can scene. That which transpires on thc:._~in Beloved. ~ DSpORTS Whither the Powerhouses?

BY HAL BORKOW the current undefeated teams aren't as And, recalling Ohio State's past perfor­ Doug Johnson. solid as their records would indicate. mances against Michigan, you could Michigan, too, has had trouble at ARITY REIGNS lHROUGH­ Kansas State may be undefeated, say they are as much choke-artists as the quarterback spot, as Brian Griese's out college football this year. but their non-conference schedule in­ they are talented. If the Buckeyes finish departure created some anxiety. I doubt P The 1998 season has treated pig­ cluded Indiana State,Northern Illinois, 12-0 they'll deserve· all the accolades that Uoyd Carr wanted to follow a dual skin fans to numerous upsets. Of The and Northeast Louisiana. To their attendant to national championships. quarterback model, yet that's exactly • Sporting News's preseason top five, only credit, the Wildcats beat Colorado in But their thrashing at the hands of how it turned out. Against Notre Dame Ohio State has remained undefeated. Boulder, but it was not the most im­ Florida State last January is an indelible and Syracuse he benched Tom Brady Florida State, a preseason number pressive of wins. Their November 14 memory. I just don't see them as being for Drew Henson, which had to shatter one in some polls, lost to North Caro­ game against Nebraska will be their that strong relative to past number one his starter's confidence. Although lina State. The Wolfpack promptly lost judgment day. Until they show-up teams. Michigan's early QB troubles led to to the mighty Baylor Bears the next against the Cornhuskers (1997: 56-26 Wherefore, then, this apparent lack defeats and no offensive leader, since week, but N.C. State came back to beat loss) I can't call Kansas State a legiti­ of stellar teams? You can start by look­ the MSU game Tom Brady seems to Syracuse in their next game. Michigan mate national title team. ing at the quarterback position on some have earned himself the starting spot. fans need no reminder of what that The U.c.L.A. Bruins are another of the nation's most talented squads. His ability to capture the confidence of inconsistent Syracuse squad did to the unbeaten squad, yet the PAC-10 is a Florida State's Chris Weinke seems to Uoyd Carr has led to him earning the Wolverines. collective defensive liability. While Ten­ have the Scott Dreisbach syndrome - confidence of his teammates as well. Meanwhile, the seemingly unbeat­ nessee deserves credit for their early butterfingers. Wienke's fumbles almost It's ironic that the weakest link on able Nebraska Cornhuskers have been playas well,I don't think the '98 Volun­ cost his team in their opening game college football's best teams has been at proven human. Following their thrash­ teers are more talented than their '97 against Texas A&M. Against N.C. State quarterback. With NFL prospects Cade ing of the ever-underachieving Wash­ predecessors. If you ask coach Phillip the proud Seminoles' offense was held McNown, Brock Huard, Donovan ington Huskies, Nebraska lost to Texas Fulmer who he'd rather have at quar­ stagnant throughout the contest. McNabb, Dante Culpepper, and Tim A&M. Some have circled Nebraska's terback and outside linebacker, he'd I've only seen the Florida Gators Couch, college football is rich with tal­ November contest with Kansas State as surely ask for Manning and Leonard play once this year, and that was against entat thepostition. ButonlyU.C.L.A.'s· their most challenging, but I'll predict Little. Still, Peerless Price and Jermaine Tennessee in an exciting but poorly McNownhas guided his team to a good here that Nebraska wins that game eas­ Copeland have done a good job filling played game. Florida quarterback Doug start. As for the relative parity in col­ ily. At least if that happens we won't the void at receiver left by NFL-bound Johnson and Tennessee's Tee Martin lege football, it wouldn't surprise me if have to hear silly Kansas State fans Marcus Nash. traded turns with their errant passes. on January 2nd no team remained un­ claim that their team gets no respect in As for number one Ohio State, I'll Meanwhile, with each Florida offen­ defeated. I suppose that would be the college football. admit they are a talented squad. But sive possession, head coach Steve last thing the pollsters need. l\-R Why all the upsets this year? The being a preseason number one (as Ohio Spurrier looked like a piece of his soul answer rests with the great parity this State was in the AP poll) is not a good died. But given Spurrier's massive ego, season. None of the preseason top-20 omen, as that distinction rarely holds he probably thought that he could throw The Michigan Revie\v realiy strike me as being dominant. Also, true for those teams come January 2nd. on a helmet and do a better job than

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BY CHRIS HAYES what to expect. I mean the atmosphere where you bring it all to life, and I love really feel I have reached people with was incredible. I have never played a that. But being on the road is where the my music because of the fans who come EATHER NOVA SEEMS TO festival-type thing where there is so songs are making the connection be­ and talk to me. They talk to me about be one oftile lucky ones who has it much camaraderie and support among tween you and the people. I believe that the music and the lyrics and how it H all. Her childhood seems like a the artists. I find that more times than I perform best live. I think I play better meant something to them. There are dream come true, splitting time living in not artists backstage are trying so hard live than in the studio and I always try always going to be a few a-holes, but Bermuda and traveling on a sailboat. She to be cool that no one really hangs out to capture that when I go to record, but what can you do? That's life. was probably adored by the guys due to her together. I thought the camaraderie it is really hard to do because there is combination ofnatural beauty and creative was really nice about Lilith. It was a something that happens with the en­ Tell me how you got started. Everyone intellect. She went to college in Rhode Is­ really good week; I could have done it ergy of a gig. It allows you as a per­ says they always have had a love for land and then moved to Londau to take a all summer. former to abandon yourself more. It is music, but at what point did you say stab at music. And it worked, as she was a pretty cool feeling. "This is what I am going to do?" Would you rather have that situation, where you are one among many, or Does anything annoy you on the road? I think it came when I was faced with Siren would you rather be playing where the real decision that you have to do Heather Nova people are there just to see you? Hotels. But you know what! hate most? something. You get out of college and WorkGroup It's air conditioning. Everything is air you say ISh-t, I can't waffle around Of course it is really nice to do your conditioned - the bus, the hotels. I like anymore. I have to do something with own gigs. It is really gratifying when real air. You know, you get these little my life. I have to make a living.' I had discovered playing a gig in London. Her people come and know all'the words to pet peeves. I like being on the road. I gone to art school and had taken paint­ first album in the states, Oyster (1995) my songs. But Lilith was good because don't even mind the bus thing because ing and a lot of film courses. The logical received critical acclaim and established a I feel that when you playa gig like that I have a great band and crew and we thing was to go find a job in the film fan base. Her latest effort, Siren, released you are sort of converting people as have a lot of laughs. It's nice. industry, because I was qualified to do this summer on WORK/Sony, is getting well, which is a challenge. And I like that. But when it came right down to the same with two singles already released. playing outside - it's my favorite I'm wondering about the crowds at the crunch, that wasn't going to fill my She has the talent to perfonn a live set to venue. your shows. I'm wondering if you creative instinct the way music would. perfection, with power and energy, yet cre­ ever notice anyone at your shows who I was writing a lot in college and made atean album that is beautifully seductive in You said that you tour extensively and is there not because of your music, but a demo tape. So at that point I said 'F­ its subtleties. Yeah, she is damned lucky. enjoy the live thing. Do you feel that instead are there because they think -k it, I'm just going to try because if I I had the opportunity to sit down with playing live shows is your calling, as you are "hot?" Do you ever get anyon€"# don't try I will always wonder.' It didn't Heather before her show at the ::ieventh opposed to time in the studio? screaming at you because of looks in­ make much sense financially or logi­ House earlier in October. After talking stead of your music? , cally, but I didn't feell had much tolcise with her, I realized that luck is not involved. I like them both because they are ac­ at that point. It was at that point that I Her drive for arlisticexpression and doing cessing different parts of you. I like the I get that every now and then. But not moved to England for a number of what her soul tells her to do is what opened studio because that is the time to be a lot. Maybe I just don't notice it. When personal reasons. I wanted an adven­ the doors for her. Not luck. Here is what she creative. Well, more so than writing, I hear that, I do get upset because what ture and go somewhere new. I wanted had to say. because I do that alone. I guess that is can you do? It works for you and to get way from a ... um.. .a really psy­ the solitary time. Then the studio is against you, being.. .attractive . Yet, I chotic ex-boyfriend. MR: Where were you playing last So I moved there and started play­ night? ing tiny gigs with my acoustic guitar and really p~ugged away at it. Then Heather Nova: I was in Cincinnati. someone saw me play who ended up becoming my manager and then I got a When did you start the U. S. leg of record deal. It's been a long road; it's your tour? . been seven years since I got started. It was one step at a time. The hardest part We did the month of July doing a week about it, as with any artist, is that your on Lilith Fair and then a few weeks of work is so much a part of you, and any our own dates. After that! was back in rejection feels like a total kick in the Europe doing more festivals. I started face. It is hard to keep going after a touring in Europe back in March. rejection and keep believing in your­ self. Was Sirens released in Europe before it was in the States? What was your childhood like?

Yeah. Tha t' s where I have done most of I was born in Bermuda. I go there to my touring. Sirens is actually my fifth visit family even though I live in Lon­ album. I have built up a fan base over don. It was nice growing up there. What there really by touring and playing fes­ I miss the most is the life we lived there. tivals a lot. For my last record, Oyster, I It was very ~ple and the life I live only was able to tour once in the States, now is far from that. We lived on a which was disappointing to me because sailboat most of my childhood and Ber­ I really believe in the live thing. SO, for muda was homebase. this record I am going to tour a lot more over here. Did you go to school?

How was playing Lilith? Sometimes not. Life was brought down Keep your eyes open for Heather returning this winter for a gig. to basics. We had no electricity or run­ It was actually amazing. I didn't know ning water. It was nice in a way. October 28, 1998 MICHl@:9{9l~ryIT/W Ll'lll9{fj cmTl12{'E 15 .0 Music The Funk Soul Brother

BY MICHAEL AUSTIN trating on dancing and still holding s ONE OF ONLY FIVE STOPS onto their drinks in the United States, techno­ and light sticks at A music OJ Fatboy Slim stopped the same time. off at the Motor Lounge in Hamtramck Slim got back to to promote his new album, You've Come his signature mix­ a Long Way, Baby. Slim got the crowd ing technique to moving rigftt from the start, with "Ev­ give a solid finish to erybody Needs a 303" from his first close the show, mix­ album Better Living Through Chpnistry. ing radio hit "The The big-beat style continued as Slim Rockerfella Skank" showed why he is one of the hottest OJs with The Rolling in the world. The crowd was treated to Stones' "Satisfac­ a number of songs off the new release, tion." A phenom­ such as his next single "Gangsta enal remix of the Trippin," all of which included samples Beastie Boys' "Body ranging from Public Enemy to Young Movin'" kept the Me. momentum going, Then, halfway into the show, some­ and a new version thing happened. The pre-recorded of "Cross Town records Slim would mix and blend spon­ Traffic" by Jimi taneously started rwming longer, and Hendrix, and the Fatboy Slim funks it up at the Motor Lounge in Hamtramck. the samples became increasingly scat­ Who inspired "Go- tered. Eventually the show degener­ ing Out of My Head" rounded out the concert format allows him to blend one ated into generic bass-driven beats. In two hour set. The powerful start and song into' another, forming more of a Write for Review Arts. addition to being monotonous, it was strong finish dearly offset the inconsis­ continuous mix than a collection of the exact opposite of Fatboy Slims in­ tencies in the middle of the show. songs. When Slim uses this freedom to We're the funkiest bunch novative style. Not that the club-goers Overall, Fatboy Slim's innovative its full potential, he surely does not of people in ADD Arbor! minded, since about half were concen- . style is best in its undiluted form. The disappoint. ~ ~._~

is so ironic. But I was lucky some of it What do you see as the most success­ study that kind of alternative medi­ Nova came out sounding radio-friendly. But ful part of the album? cine. There is a whole other realm of I certainly don't go in with that intent. healing that the West could be open to. Continued from page 14 I like pop and I like to create hooks and Well, any song I write succeeds if I feel stuff. But that's because I enjoy it. I have captured the essence of what I What have you been listening to? I think every album is a reflection want to say, which is sometimes scary How do you think that lifestyle af­ of you and what you are going through to do when so many people are listen­ Elliot Smith, Maxwell, Massive Attack, fected you in comparison to growing at that time in your life. On Oyster, I was ing to it and judging it. But I think it is Air. up in a suburban atmosphere? talking about a lot of difficult personal so crucial to what a good song is that things I was going through. In a way, you have to do it. Tell me what you think about criti­ I have no idea because I don't know some of those songs were about being a cism and critics. Do you think sitting how I would have been different. I think victim. On Sirens, I totally recovered What is the least successful part? here is total bullshit and you just do it it made me more resourceful and pretty and felt like this is a positive album. because it is a necessary evil? independent. I was forced to amuse Musically, it is different. I started en­ I wouldn't change anything radical. myself often. Maybe that is how I started joying the songs on Oyster more when In a way I have problem with criticism writing songs. I played them live. On Sirens I wanted Fourteen songs is an unusually large with art, in general. I think if someone the music to breath a bit more and be number of tunes for a solo artist to put is making something which is true to How do go about making your albums more raw with the guitars more in­ on one album. Where did that deci­ '-herself, which is something with integ­ true to yourself as a songwriter, espe­ tense. sion come from? rity and something that is meaningful cially when outside forces, like label to them, then enough said. Then that's executives may be asking for other But the album is more textured and I had forty songs written for this album. valid and that is a piece of art and that things? How does Sirens fit into that? layered than a live show. I'm surprised So I then narrowed it down to twenty is going to move people. Then there is you make that analogy. and then we recorded eighteen of those. no need for criticism. The problem is When I went into the studio, my label I had to chose which four to take off and arising when people are making stuff said, 'We really need some singles on Yeah, there are a lot of layers on it. it was really hard. I wanted to take five · for alternative reasons, like ego and this record.' I just said, 'Forget it.' You Maybe that is what I wouldn't do so or six off but I couldn't decide which stuff. Then maybe the critics are needed can't ask me to write singles. I'm not much of on the next album. That's ones. I know it is a little longer than I to point that out. There are some really that kind of artist. I write a song if I feel what's good. You do something on an would like because I believe an album good journalists out there and then there it. Seriously, that's the way I wotk. I album and think 'Yeah, that's it,' until should be fifty minutes. Hey, look at it are some who just like to hear them­ write melodies because they come to you listen to it and then you say, as more value for the money. selves talk. me. If they sound like they will sound 'hmmm ... ' good on the radio, then that is a bonus. What would you be doing a year from What is the worst question you've been So then they shut up and left me alone. I wasn't saying it was a bad thing. now if you couldn't play any longer? asked in an interview? Then they heard the demos and said there were no singles and I think they It isn't a bad thing. It sort of creates a Probably having a baby. There are many 'What is it like to be a woman in rock?' were wrong. The music industry is journey for the next album. other things that interest me. I am into I hate that que!'-tion. M{ sometimes the enemy of music, which Chinese medicine and I would like to ---.&I" ~ L4RG!J; W'J;:N'1l (g!~ OPEN 7 DAYS: SUN. 11A.M.- MIDNITE ~~ MON. -TUES. 11 A.M.-1 A.M. (g!~ WED. - SAT. 11A.M.-)A.M. ~~ ~ (g!~ "

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