Practices of Doing Motherhood in the First Six Months After Childbirth in Contemporary Dutch Society

‘I am becoming a mother’ – Practices of doing motherhood in the first six months after childbirth in contemporary Dutch society Madeleine Herzog [email protected] 10862234 Msc Thesis Cultural and Social Anthropology Supervisor: Dr. Trudie Gerrits Second Reader: Dr. Kristine Krause Third reader: Anja Hiddinga 21.06.2015 38.707 words "Declaration: I have read and understood the University of Amsterdam plagiarism policy [published on http://www.student.uva.nl/fraude- plagiaat/voorkomen.cfm]. I declare that this assignment is entirely my own work, all sources have been properly acknowledged, and that I have not previously submitted this work, or any version of it, for assessment in any other paper." Table of Content Acknowledgements 1 Abstract 2 1. Introdcution 3 Context of this research 5 1.1. Theoretical background 9 New Kinship Studies 9 Doing Kinship 10 Feeling of relatedness 12 1.2. Methodology 12 Study Design 13 Selection of interlocutors 14 Reflection on my role as a researcher 15 Outline of the thesis 16 2. Becoming a mother: a rite de passage 18 Withdrawal and preparation for motherhood 22 Transition Phase 23 Re-integration into society 27 2.1. Becoming a mother: challenges and difficulties 29 Pain, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation 30 Baby Blues 32 Getting to know the baby & adapting to its needs 33 Work life 36 From being a couple to shared parenthood 38 Changes in relationships 40 Discussion 41 3. Practices of doing motherhood 43 Notions of kinship 46 Breastfeeding 48 Playing 54 Cuddling/ Washing 58 Discussion 62 4. Practices of doing motherhood: support 65 Grandmothers 70 Kraamzorg 77 Pre- and postnatal groups 81 Babysitters 84 Discussion 87 5.Conclusion 90 1 1 1 0 Acknowledgements A great pleasure of finishing this piece of writing is to thank people who supported me and who made this thesis possible. First of all I want to thank all of my interlocutors for sharing their stories, for opening their homes and hearts for me and for making this research unforgettable. Trudie, I am very grateful for your support as my supervisor. In every situation you found the right words to keep me going, your criticism was always constructive and your advice more than helpful. I could not have had a better, more understanding and lovely supervisor who made me feel so comfortable during the whole process of researching and writing this thesis- heel erg bedankt! I also want to thank all the teachers who supported me on my way so far, I have learned a lot from each of you. Last but not least I want to thank my family and my lovely friends. Without you carrying out practices of doing family and doing friendship I would not be the person I am now and this thesis would have never been possible. Thank you! 1 Abstract Van Gennep’s theory of rites des passage addresses childbirth as a major life-event which is ritually marked in order to facilitate the transition into the new life stage of parenthood. This research shows how Dutch, high-educated, first-time mothers experience the transition to motherhood and in what ways these new mothers carry out practices of doing motherhood – a term based on the New Kinship scholar’s understanding of socially constructed kinship – in order to facilitate the performing of the maternal role. A further focus is put on different kinds of support which is provided for Dutch mothers in the postpartum period beneficial to deal with this transition process. This study was conducted from January till March 2015. The setting of this research is Amsterdam, the capital city of the Netherlands and Sommelsdijk, a small village on the Dutch island of Goeree-Overflakkee. The data presented here were collected through participant observation and in-depth interviews. I have carried out participant observation in baby playgroups, midwife practices and as a babysitter of a newborn. Furthermore I have conducted in-depth interviews with Dutch highly-educated, first- time mothers, a few significant people of their social surrounding, midwifes and kraamverzorgsters. All interviewed new mothers reported difficulties in adapting to the new situation after the delivery of their infant. The research-objective of this study aims to show how the process of becoming a mother is intertwined with carrying out practices of doing motherhood and how these practices can establish and maintain the feeling of being related that again facilitates the transition process to motherhood. In this respect the praxeological concept of doing kinship plays a major role as a theoretical background. Three practices of doing motherhood are illustrated: breastfeeding, play time and washing of the baby. Further I give special attention to the support that is provided for new mothers in the Netherlands through grandmothers, the Dutch institutional care of kraamzorg, new parents groups and babysitters. 2 2 1. Introduction “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” -Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Indian spiritual leader), 1931-1990- Lisa1 and Johannes – parents to be - shared with me the touching experience of listening to their baby’s heartbeat for the first time. While it is a dark and windy January evening outside, the excited couple, me and the midwife sat together in the tenderly furnished consultation room for the regular check-up of the pregnancy. As part of the examination the midwife held the baby heartbeat monitor right onto the 12 weeks old mother’s belly. While the bulge of the baby bump was still invisible, the baby’s heart beat loud and clear. It beat so loud and clear that there was no space for any other sound in the room and silence appeared. This silence was filled with a love and energy I hardly ever witnessed before and which grew with every further heartbeat. Not only felt I emotions coming up in myself but even more I sensed Lisa’s and Johannes’ thoughts when I looked into their eyes. Lisa’s eyes were filled with tears and from the look on her face I assumed what she was feeling: motherly love, care and affection as well as worries concerning the new demands of motherhood. From my interpretation I saw a father’s pride in Johannes’ expression. For the first time I got an idea of what it means to become a parent. That becoming a parent is for many people a magical process which is filled with myriad emotions. This little magic appeared in every conversation and interaction I had during my three months of fieldwork and never got lost. It was like a little reminder to me why I was doing this research and kept my passion alive, the passion to learn more about the little magic of becoming a parent. 1 In terms of anonymity all names in this thesis are synonyms 3 I started the master’s program Cultural and Social Anthropology at the Universiteit van Amsterdam having a deep interest for the anthropology of family and kinship in my mind and in my heart. Living and researching in the Dutch culture made me curious to find out more on how pregnancy, delivery and becoming a parent is experienced in the Netherlands. Thanks to three months of fieldwork - on which outcome this thesis is built on - I discovered a whole landscape of Dutch characteristics in the postpartum period which are worth an anthropological examination. I am aware, that postpartum period is a biomedical term that is used for the first six weeks after the delivery of the infant (Hooman et al. 2014). My participants often referred to this stretch of time as “the first months” or “the time after the delivery”. However in the context of this research I will use this term to address the period of interest for this study: the first six months after the delivery of my participants’ babies. High rates of home birth and de-medicalized deliveries in the Netherlands are frequently discussed as a ‘unique way of giving birth’ in Western societies among different disciplines. Yet postnatal experiences, perceptions and practices of Dutch new parents as well as postnatal care have mostly been neglected by anthropological researchers to date. My aim is to fill several of these gaps within this thesis. Since the 1990s birth, reproduction and rituals linked to either have become one of the main elements of modern anthropological research on family and kinship (Levine 2008: 376)2. Interests of these studies are – amongst others - to understand how young mothers experience pregnancy, delivery and motherhood and how their experience is influenced by the culture they are living in (Fisher et al. 2006: 68). Linked to that are the research objective and the research questions of this study which aim to understand how new, highly-educated, first-time mothers in the Netherlands experience the impact childbirth has on their life, what kind of practices are carried out in the postpartum period from mother to child, how this influences the perception of the relationship between mother and infant and by whom women are supported in their transition to motherhood. The main theoretical concept of this study is based on the New Kinship Study’s approach of doing kinship and addresses the notion of socially constructed kinship 2 See also: Peletz 1995; Franklin 2013; Ginsburg and Rapp 1991 4 in daily interactions. I will argue that through carrying out practices of doing motherhood, a particular form of doing kinship, a feeling of relatedness is created and thus the process of becoming a mother is facilitated. I will elaborate on this further below. Based on the insights I gained through participant observation and experiences which were shared by my informants I firstly expound how the delivery of their infant was perceived by the participants of this research and what kind of challenges and difficulties they encountered in the postpartum period.

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