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Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper Newspapers

3-26-1996

The Grizzly, March 26, 1996

Marc Ellman Ursinus College

Mark Leiser Ursinus College

Kristen Schumann Ursinus College

Joanna Doyle Ursinus College

Melissa Forbes Ursinus College

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Recommended Citation Ellman, Marc; Leiser, Mark; Schumann, Kristen; Doyle, Joanna; Forbes, Melissa; Rakes, Jared; Bowers, Chris; Albert, Melinda; Callahan, Erin; Urban, Jennifer; May, Beatrice; Tucker, Colin; Schofer, Joel; Hearl, Mary; Weingroff, Charlie; Goddard, Kate; and Walker, Hera, "The Grizzly, March 26, 1996" (1996). Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper. 378. https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/grizzlynews/378

This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Newspapers at Digital Commons @ Ursinus College. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Ursinus College. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Authors Marc Ellman, Mark Leiser, Kristen Schumann, Joanna Doyle, Melissa Forbes, Jared Rakes, Chris Bowers, Melinda Albert, Erin Callahan, Jennifer Urban, Beatrice May, Colin Tucker, Joel Schofer, Mary Hearl, Charlie Weingroff, Kate Goddard, and Hera Walker

This book is available at Digital Commons @ Ursinus College: https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/grizzlynews/378 Stupidily- Not so much brain as ear-wax. Th~ Grizzly --William Shakespeare

Volume XVIII Number XVIII Ursinus College March 26, 1996

Marijuana Incident Results UC Professors to in Dismissal of Two Students Participate in AIDS Ride been coming in. "We are hopeful ing. According to Nolan, the col­ Many students ,.garded the pres- r''M1A11l1iIibi!ii, the Ursinus student body will rally lege had three options for dealing ence of drugs as commonplace and _ Of the Grizzly _ behind us ... Pledging is an impor­ with the incident: an informal dis­ expressed only mild surprise at the tant thing," asserted Dr. Clark. Freshman Bron Leupold and Se­ ciplinary action involving the RA students' dismissal. Ursinus will be represented by President Strassburger has autho­ nior Nate Manzon were dismissed and a standard written warning, a However, last Thursday, an anony­ professors Hugh Clark and Paul ri zed the pair of cyclists to ride as from the college one week before judiciary board hearing, or "abbre­ mous letter circulated throughout Stern on the AIDS Ride, a bicycle representatives of Ursin us College. Spring Break under suspicion that viated disciplinary procedures." campus that expressed a different, marathon from Philadelphia to Overall, the sponsors of the ride they had been trafficking drugs on This last option, which was ulti­ but increasingly common reaction. Washington, DC. hope to raise nearly $6 million to campus. mately chosen as the best course of The letter, which was signed, "a Clark, professor of history and benefit ActionAIDS, the Philadel­ On the last weekend before Spring action, refers the matter to the presi­ concerned student," was addressed East Asian Studies, and Stem, asso­ phia Community Health Alterna­ Break, a resident of Sprankle Hall, dent of the college who can then to Ursinus security and concerned ciate professor of politics and phi­ tives, and the AIDS Information where the two men lived, reported make an immediate decision about what the author regarded as the over­ losophy, will be making the 250- Network. This project will be sig­ to the RA that he could smell mari­ how to deal with the situation. whelming presence of illegal drugs mile trip on Iune21-23. Funds will nificant in improving the critical juana coming from some of the President Strassburger offered on campus, specifically with regard be raised for three institutes in Phila­ need for AIDS research and treat­ rooms. The residence assistant re­ Leupold and Manzon the option of to Thursday night parties at Omwake, delphia for AIDS research and treat- ment. Many victims, their families, ported the incident to Ursinus secu­ notifying the Collegeville police the APO fraternity house. ment. and researchers of the AIDS virus rity, who arrived at the house at and having the I-Board conduct a More importantly, the letter con­ Clark and Stem have each pledged are relying on the fmancial commit­ approximately 2 a.m. on Saturday. hearing in the future, or accepting cerned the factthat"[ security], Resi­ to raise $1 ,400, for a campus-wide ments ofcommunities like Ursinus. When they arrived, the security immediate dismissal from the col­ dence Life, and the administration total of $2,800. Both Stem and Professors Clark and Stem hope officers were escorted into the build­ lege. The two men chose to avoid has known for some time the exist­ Clark are accepting pledges from many folks will support the effort, ing by residents to investigate the police involvement and left the cam­ ence of drugs at Omwake for many students and faculty for this vital so gather together some extra cash report. They searched Leupold and pus before the end of the weekend. years and have refused to act." cause. Currently, they have raised and contribute to this important Manzon's room, where the odor had This incident has sparked a back­ The unnamed author went on to about $900 and regular updates have project. been the strongest. Leupold and lash both in the community and on say he or she would write letters to Manzon were not present at the time. campus. The District Attorney was all the members of the Board of Upon entering the room, officers on campus last week to discuss the Directors as well as local newspa­ discovered a significant amount of situation with administrators. Lo­ pers "depicting Ursinus as a college marijuana along with a quantity of cal authorities were angry at the in which its security knowingly al­ prescription pills and drug parapher­ college' s decision not to involve lows drugs to exist," unless the nalia. In addition, officers found law enforcement, expressing con­ weekly party was broken up and the balance scales and an envelope full cerns about community safety, par­ house cleaned out. The party was of cash which they said suggested ticularly the danger ofhaving drugs held at Om wake as usual on Thurs­ an intent to sell. The items were sold only a few blocks from St. day. turned over to local police. Eleanor's elementary school. If the Leupold and Manzon, who have Suzie Moresco, Dean of Resi­ students had been prosecuted, they not been formally charged, have the dence Life, and Debra Nolan, Act­ could have received up to 30 years option of applying for re-admission Photo by Kristen Schumann ing Dean of Students, were notified in prison for felony charges. to the college after this year. Dr. Paul Stern and Dr. Hugh Clark will participate of the situation the following morn- Reaction on campus was mixed. in the AIDS ride this June. I I Ryan Auch Co ngratu{ations Bears at 10-3 The Gentle Giant C{iff 9v[ot{ey Mr. qJrsinus 1996 -- Page 2 -- Page 7 Mireb 26, 1998 Women's Week: Ryan Auch -- The Gentle Giant March 25-30 brother. is regaining his strength and stamina I Several months ago, Ryan was at home. He wants to thank every­ are two key activities every student given a bone marrow aspiration, one for the support they have ex­ should try tp attend. One is the ~ which turned up with a slight trace pressed through cards, letters and "Spotlight on Ursin us" on Wednes­ On March 1,1996 the Ursinus of leukemia still in his system. On phone calls of encouragement. Just because you have a Y chro­ day night. This will feature Ursinus community came out in large num­ March 21, 1996 he will undergo Auch is sorry that he was unable mosome doesn't mean you can't students performing and reading bers to show support for one of its another aspiration to see ifthat slight to come and personally accept the celebrate Women's Week at creative works. The other event is own, at the annual Airband ben­ proceeds from Airband 1996, but Ursinus. The week of March 25 to the workshop called "How Do You efit show. The proceeds from currently he is unable to be March 30, 1996 will be filled with Define Success". The workshop Airband 1996, went to Ursinus amongst large crowds in enclosed many activities to celebrate will feature women talking about freshman and Trappe resident spaces. Ryan and his family would Women's Week and all students, how they achieved success. This Ryan Auch. like to thank the entire campus male and female, are encouraged to lecture is important for aU students Auch was diagnosed during community for all the hard work attend. to attend because it will include the spring of 1995 with Acute and effort that they put into the Erin Gorman, a student on the non-conventional success stories Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL), program, and says "it's nice to committee organizing Women's that let students know success can which is a malignant disorder in­ know that charity still exist." Both Week, says this week was estab­ be defined in many ways. volving the production of blood Ryan (who saw a recorded copy lished to help in breaking the bubble There are many activities sched­ cells. ALL causes an accumula­ of the program) and his family college students tend to live in. uled for Women's Week so there is tion ofimmature white blood cells enjoyed the performances and Everyone knows it is hard to be up sure to be one that is interesting to (called lymphocytes), and a de­ were pleased to see such a large to date on news when one lives on a every student. Check out purple crease of important, normal blood crowd. Though Ryan has received small college campus. As Gorman flyers for details, come out and sup­ cell types. donations from other sources, this states, "Women's Week is designed port awareness ofwomen, and help This disease is the leading form contribution was very personal to to heighten awareness on campus to burst that uninformed bubble once of leukemia in children, and rep­ him because it came from class­ about women's issues." and for all. resents approximately 85% ofleu­ mates, professors, administrators Gorman went on to say that there kemia in patients under 21 . More and, most of all, his friends. than 4,000 new cases are diag­ Though Ryan is integrating him­ nosed yearly. As a result of the trace has diappeared. Ifthat trace is self more and more into his old disease, Ryan has undergone 'six gone, he will be considered in com­ routine, he still spends much of his blood transfusions, and numerous plete remission, and ifhe is in total time at home. He insists that he Trappe Shopping Center other medical procedures. remission for five years, he will be wants to get back in touch with old (Next to Clemens) On September 7, 1994, Ryan considered cured. friends and acquaintances, and in­ Auch underwent a very important Despite this incredible ordeal, vites them to call him at (610) 489- operation that may have saved his Ryan is still his very humorous, 4258, "but do it during reasonable Deliveries Available Free Delivery - I Moo-Fr. ' 4-'9 .- '" life. He was given a bone marrow talkative and optimistic self. He hours, because unlike some people transplapt fr9m his brother, Robert anxiously awaits returning ·to I don't have to pull all nighters ... yet," No Minimum Required Sat & Sun 12-9 Auch Jr., who ironically had been Reimert parties, and enjoying good says Ryan. Of course, Ryan adds on the National Bone Marrow Reg­ times with his friends, just as he did the clause "yet" because just as we ister for the past five years. Robert before he left. Ryan will slowly are, he is anticipating a quick and tr 489-4271 initally became registered hoping work his way back by taking sum­ speedy recovery, which means he to help save someone's life, not mer classes, with hopes to maintain will be back on the block and pull­ "The best pizza anywhere!" knowing that one day he would be a full roster in the fall. Right now he ing allnighters again very soon. saving the life of his youngest

Lynn H. Yeakel, former candidate for Lindback Award for u.s. Senate, and mid-Atlantic director Outstanding Teaching for the u.s. Department of Helath and Human Services, will be the keynote The Lindback Award for Outstanding speaker during Women's Week, March Teaching is granted alternately with the H. 25-30. She will speak on Wednesday, Lloyd Jones Teaching Award. Both awards March 27 at 12:30 p.m. in Olin Audito­ are given as part of Commencement rium. Yeakel will discuss her triumphs ceremonies in May. The Lindback Award, and frustrations as a female political can­ which will be given in May 1996, is given to didate, and as an advocate for women. a full-time Ursinus faculty member in The former president ofWomen's Way in recognition of teaChing excellence. All Philadelphia, she gained national atten­ students at Urmnus are invited to nominate tion in 1992 in her first bid for elective a faculty member for the award. Nomination office, winning the Democratic primary for u.S. Senate in Pennsylvania and only forms are available in the Registrar's Office narrowly losing to incumbent Republi­ and must be submitted to Dean Akin by Former U.S. Senate Candidate Lynn Yeakel can Sen. Arlen Specter. April S, 1996. .arcIl2&. 1811 CapitaJislD, IndividualislD and Responsibility

of situation x, whether good or bad. cies in the history of the West. This Therefore, all meaning is concep­ Therefore, all meaning is pro­ 3. Individuals, being self-deter­ is because the individual does not tual. duced by society. The individual is mining, are responsible for all situ­ exist in the same way nearly all ofus To push this idea further, all con­ never the cause of anything, re­ ations which occur in their lives. think of it as existing. cepts are given to us by society. If sponsibility always lies with soci­ The center point of capitalist ide­ 4. Society has neither an obliga­ The individual is neither a di­ you have a concept which is not ety. ology is the concept of the self­ tion to help the downtrodden indi­ vinely ordained being nor an entity given to you by society, I would like We are all responsible for what determining individual. vidual nor a right to disturb the which exists regardless ofthe world to hear about it sometime. Ofcourse, happens in our society, and by our Capitalism is founded upon the affluent individual. around it. The individual, any indi­ when you are telling me about this own theory of responsibility (out­ belief that an individual is able to In the eighteenth century, this phi­ vidual, is entirely a construct of concept you will have to use al­ lined above) we are all obligated to determine her surroundings, rather losophy was used to justify repub­ society. ready existing concepts to describe reap the consequences. than be determined by them, and lics against the absolute monarchies This statement may strike you as it to me or neither of us will under­ We must never reduce or elimi­ should never be restricted in this of Europe. a bit odd and impossible to defend. stand what you are getting at. nate social programs because we self-determination. Today, the philosophy is used to However, take a moment to con­ When you are describing a con­ are all responsible for the many, The individual has free will, is justify elimination of affmnative sider how meaning is produced. cept, including the concept of the many people they benefit. We must guided by reason and, by looking action, reduction ofwelfare services, Can you think of anything with­ individual, you will have to use never eliminate affmnative action out for himself, is looking out for privatization of health care, reduc­ out thinking of it as a representation ready-made concepts in order to or political correctness because we the good of the group. tion ofsocial security benefits, elimi­ of something? The answer is no, of make any sense. are all responsible for the bigotry When applied to morality and nation of the minimum wage and of course not. Whatever you think of All concepts are entirely con­ which prevents so many people from politics, the argument works as fol­ public education. If what happens you are thinking of a representation structed from already existing con­ acquiring equal opportunity. We lows: to someone is her own fault, why of that something rather than the cepts, and all meaning is thus con­ must never give in to selfishness, I. Whoever caused situation x is should we care about her? something itself: you think of a rep­ structed from already existing mean­ ignorance and hatred because we responsible for situation x. The concept ofindividual respon­ resentation of an apple, the apple ing. Already existing meaning can are all responsible for the welfare of 2. Whoever is responsible for situ­ sibility is one of the greatest falla- itself is not actually in your mind. only come from our ancestors. the entire human race. ation x should reap the consequences scotland FUry one well armed gunman. If God paradox ... ), he has to reveal it to us WI r"'" '?P ;* determined.thatwe shouldbave free through highly publicized events. ~_ Of The Gnzzl_ ~_ will, I'm sure his lawyers will point That makes about as much sense as out '8 stipulation about the well­ allowing mass murders to happen, What if God were one of us? You being and potential free wills of so I suppose God would espouse know, just a stranger in a Scotland many being more important than that too. elementary school gymnasium. He the free will of one insane person. God, you have dropped the ball leiser is omniscient, so of course he was You know what? I bet that if that on this one. If you're reading this, there, right? That really makes me teacher had been exercising her own please drop me an email with question His omnibenevolence, as, free will, and had been packing heat, whatever lame excuse you have. being God and all, He probably this would never have happened. I'm sure you can get the address. could have stopped thatwacko from She would have pulled that sucker Finally, I'd like to sum up this killing, wounding, or otherwise ru­ out and blown her assailant's head week's commentary with a wonder­ ining the lives of that entire class of clean off fully well thought out quote, presumably innocent students. But his shoulders before he could have from a man who is obviously the he didn't. Of course, I could go into hurt a soul. paragon ofgovernment intelligence, an incredibly boring, albeit substan­ Having seen that, all the children and the gospel of the reasonability tial, list of such senseless acts, Tel could have been happy, and nobody of bearing arms. MlchaetMcCuen Aviv, for example--but I don't need would have been adversely affected. Mississippi state senator Mike Beatrice Mav to. God only needs to mess up once Maybe that's what God is trying Gunn (?!), who is running for con­ COlin Tucker to be imperfect, and there is abso­ to tell us--that if we all pack heat, gress presently, explains the value JDtSChnader lutely no--zero--an absence of--any the world will be a better place. of guns this way: "If guns are out­ ChaHi Welngroff justification for the actions of that Since he can't send personal emails lawed, how can we shoot liberals?" psychopath, or for God allowing it. to everyone (while on the subject of What a Republican. Don't give me that free-will crap, either, because the free will taken Andrea Seasholtz, a representa­ away from the dozens of students, tive of the ASPCA, presented a parents, and teachers affected by program on the training and car­ this tragedy far outweighs that of ing of animals in the Wismer •••••••••••••••• Lower Lounge last Tuesday. Ac­ CongratuCations companying her was her special (Photo by to tlie 'Brotliers Of Clii~fwPsi for Winning Last !Montli's 'Brood 'Drive 'Banner Contest •••••••••••••••• Marcb 26,1996

Thoughts on the Honor Code Facts About the

Dear Editor: stated "I have neither given nor re­ Through a student-lead workshop on Honor Code ceived any unauthorized aid, nor have the honor code during Freshman Ori­ I hope that the Ursinus College I witnessed any violation ofthe Honor entation, they can be convinced that Student Responsibilities students, faculty, and administration Code". I took that statement seri­ we "just don't do that here." Although will give serious consideration to the ously, because I signed my name to it. students are currently reminded ofthe I. To uphold the academic integrity of the College. honor code proposed by a group of Will every one feel that signing their college academic honesty policy in 2. To report any suspected violations of academic ethics. This code Ursinus College students. An aca­ name is an important commitment to every course, it would be possible to does not contain a "tattletale" policy, meaning that a student CAN­ honesty? No, of course not. How­ demic honor code is a statement of place a new emphasis on it with this NOT be penalized for failing to report a violation, although the honor joint responsibility of students and ever, I believe that many students will fresh approach. code suggests that it is the duty of each student to report suspected faculty to minimize cheating. It is the consider it an important commitment, Another issue that has arisen is the violations. student's responsibility to eschew and will pause to think about it, as I "tattle tale" rule that is included in cheating, and to refuse to help other did, every time they sign it. some honor codes. Currently, there is students to cheat. An honor code may Will an Honor Code prevent all no clear policy for a student who Faculty Responsibilities include the duty of reporting cheaters cheating? No, some cheating will observes cheating to follow. Some to the professor. It is the professor's still occur. However, "cynicism about faculty members fear that students responsibility to explain how the student values can be a self-fulfilling will not report cheating by other stu­ I. To uphold the academic integrity of the College. honor code pertains to each assign­ prophecy" (2). The vast majority of dents. I disagree. When I was a ment, and to report cheating to the Ursinus College students are honest. student under a honor code system, I 2. To outline the basic rules of the course, including proper conduct appropriate authority. An honor code places responsibility felt that one hundred people were for examinations and other academic exercises. The least productive relationship on the student for his or her own proctoring me, not just one professor. between faculty and students is one in integrity. Many students will rise to This does not have to be an overtly 3. To maintain reasonable security of examination papers. which an attitude of "you evaluate the occasion. The true test ofa person adversarial relationship; remember, I me, I evaluate you" is foremost. is what he would do if he knew he was proctoring myself as well! We 4. To take appropriate action in accordance with the Constitution in Rather, students and faculty should would never be found out. An honor were too busy worrying about our all cases of suspected violations of academic ethics. be intellectual partners working to code will give each student the oppor­ own tests to look around the room for prepare elch student to succeed in life tunity to confront that question. cheaters. after Ursinus. It should be a relation­ Proctoring exams is one issue that Part ofthe mission of Ursin us Col­ General Facts ship in which both the student and the has repeatedly surfaced in the discus­ lege is to provide our students with faculty member learn more about the sions about a potential honor code on the best possible preparation for their 1. A statement will be signed upon enrollment each semester stating campus. Proctors need not be ex­ future. Letting students take respon­ subject matter of any given course, that the signee will adhere to the guidelines of the Constitution. but also about how that topic can cluded from every exam, indeed, fac­ sibility for their own honesty and in­ blend with other disciplines, and per­ ulty members may need to be present tegrity seems like a good place to 2. The current policy of the College (which can be found in the haps be used in case studies to con­ to clarify questions. Under an honor start. We should seriously consider Student Handbook) on cheating and plagiarism will be adopted by template current ethical issues. This code system, however, a faculty mem­ this idea because a group of students this Constitution. cooperative relationship can only ber should feel more free to leave the brings this proposal to us, and be­ work ifboth students and faculty feel room because the students know that cause the establishment of an honor responsible for its success and try not their integrity is their own responsi­ code could greatly enhance the atmo­ 3. Examinatiobs mayor may not be proct~red in accordance with the to let down the other _party (I). The bility, not the responsibility of the sphere of mutual respect on our cam­ wishes of the professor. establishment ofan honor code at our instructor/proctor. As time goes on, pus. institution will show prospective stu­ professors may feel more and more Sincerely yours, dents and the world at large that stu­ comfortable about leaving the class­ Kate Goddard ALL CAMPUS MEETING TO DISCUSS HONOR CODE ON dents and faculty at Ursinus College room. Assistant Professor, Biology MONDAY, APRIL 15 AT 8 PM IN OLIN AUDITORIUM. are a community of scholars who op­ It will take time forthe principles of erate under a policy ofmutual respect. the honor code to become imbedded (1) Jason Allen, pers. comm. ALL CAMPUS VOTE WILL OCCUR ON As a student at Gettysburg College, in the campus culture, but it will hap­ (2) Pavela, G. and D. McCabe. 1993. The THURSDAY & FRIDAY, APRIL 18-19, 1996 I signed a statement at the end of pen. Many students have been sur­ Surprising return of honor codes. flm: IN WISMER LOBBY. every test and on every paper that rounded by cheating in high school. ning for Higher Education 21 :27-31. What's Up in WeUness? WELLNESS FAIR Breast Cancer Date: Wed., March 27 Time: 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. American women will die of breast thickening of the breast, swelling, Where: Wismer Lower Lounge rWlf,IIIII,,!-S", cancer. puckering, dimpling, or irritation of _ Of The GTI~ _ Early detection gives a woman the skin that persists, or pain or her best chance for survival, so it is tenderness. In 1994, every 3 minutes a If you do fmd a lump in your Schedule of Events: breast, go and see your doctor. Most woman was diagnosed with breast • Cholesterol screenings cancer. Breast cancer is the third One in nine women will lumps in the breast are not cancer­ biggest cancer killer in America as ous - 4 out of 5 are from other • Percent body fat calibrations of 1994. One in nine women will develop breast cancer causes. However, all lumps should • Information on breast and skin cancer develop breast cancer during her during her lifetime. be checked by a doctor to rule out • Healthy refreshments lifetime. Although the number of cancer. women getting breast cancer is in­ If you have any questions about 11 :30 - 12:00 Smoking Presentation breast cancer or want information creasing, early detection and im­ important that all women examine 12:30 - 1:00 Cancer Presentation proved treatment have kept the death their breasts on a monthly basis. on how to perform a breast exam rates from this cancer fairly stable Some ofthe warning signs of breast contact the Wellness Center at ex­ over the past 50 years. Now it is cancer are the following: a lump or tension 2412. For more information contact Melissa Dolan at x30SS. estimated that only about 1 in 30 11,199&

Senegal Professor Speaks on Africa Berwvn Tavern & Grill - ATrappe Alternative

infant mortality rates that are asso­ the dry seasons men would often on tap. My personal favorite is the ciated with the African population. move to the cities, returning during Black Dog Honey Raspberry-­ In addition to large, nuclear fami­ the rainy seasons. yummy! If you're a bottled beer lies, Dr. Kane commented that an Dr. Kane mentioned that every­ connoisseur or drink advocate, then extended family system exists in one in an African family works. All right all you fellow Trappe fret not, for the tavern has those too! Africa. This is to say that when one Everyone has a part in the work, but junkies out there, let's try some- There's nothing like kicking back mentions his "family," he is refer­ all is shared as everyone works to­ thing new! How about the Berwyn with great beer and great bands. ring to not only his immediate fam­ gether. Tavern & Grill where the upcoming The band, Rugby Road, started ily, but also his aunts, uncles, and Finally, another highlight from band Rugby Road performs on the up soon after we arrived. Their cousins. the professor's presentation, was the occasional Thursday evening? Be- jazzy, rock sounds roused the crowd, topic of women's roles in the Afri­ lieve me, it is well worth the 30 and it wasn't long until everyone can society. minute ride--so grab your coat and was happily jamming. If you're (Dr. Kane) finds it appalling As mothers, women are regarded a friend willing to be the designated into Phishy music, then you would that many o/the images that as sacred because they are the bear­ driver for the night and hit the road defmitely enjoy this band who re­ non-African citizens receive ers oflife. Children are expected to to Malvern. cently released a disc called Times When I walked through the Already Happened. The Berwyn about the African continent perform as expected by their moth­ ers because if they disobey they will backstreet entrance of this tiny bar, Tavern also supports talented bands are those 0/ great poverty be "disappointed" in life. This is the the bouncer's gruff command "two besides Rugby Road such as Living and starving children. consequence as a result of going bucks and 1.0." were like a house's Earth, Friar Tuck, and many more against one so sacred as their mother. welcome mat on the front door step. on various nights of the week (call came to Ursinus offering a As wives, according to Dr. Kane, Hearing those four little words gave for more info). portrayal of his land. In Africa when certain members African women have difficult lives. me confidence that this bar was Onethingyoumightwanttokeep Dr. Kane spoke on a ofthe extended family become ill or They are responsible for running neither a cheesy dance club nor fake in mind--the beers on tap, although of topics, here are some of fall into bad fortune, there are the "affairs" of the household, "af­ 1.0. central for teenagers. The de- in large twelve ounce glasses, run enough members of the extended fairs" pertaining to the chores. cor and people inside proved this. kind of pricey--about three bucks, family still available to take care of Chores are accomplished while the The antique lantern lights were so hit MAC before venturing to this those less fortunate in the family. husband is out tending to his agri­ spaced evenly around the wooden place. And for the starving clien­ On the topic of labor and jobs in cultural duties. planked walls, and the Cheers ish tele, there are appetizers (wings, Africa, Dr. Kane mentioned that Although he was difficult to un­ environment sparked my interest nachos, etc.), cheese steaks, veg­ this culture encourages work and derstand sometimes, Dr. Kane gave immediately. The variety ofpeopJe etable grinders, and salads for the often values it as a positive aspect of a detailed account of the societal from many different walks of life rabbits or fiber deficient folk. They the society. Much of the labor that and family workings of Africa to apparently shared some common offer three or four specials a day at occurs among African society mem­ the large portion ofthe student body interests. It would seem that busi- reasonable prices, and change them ber includes agriculture and farm­ that attended. ness men and college students both regularly. ing. In the past, however, during seek out a place where their thirst If you're feeling claustrophobic and desire for entertainment can be in Collegeville, the Berwyn Tavern quenched. can offer solace from the basement- fACULlY SPOTLIGHT Eventually, my friends and I se- like atmosphere of The Trappe, and cured a small table to the left of the the crowd is less fortiesh and more band and the U-shaped bar where, I twentiesh--like, uh ... college stu­ teaches an International Communi­ school to get his Ph.D. within the might add, there were three very dents and townies man! Like I said cations class, which surveys com­ next five to ten years. attractive male bartenders at our before, the band is really good and munication systems and methods in Toni's more immediate plans service. The ratio of men to women those lip-smacking beverages rule! various parts of the world. include learning more languages, appeared to be in favor of us single I recommend taking 422 east to 202 Though the Barcelona born na­ namely Maya or Quechua , and do- gals, with an obvious surplus of south, hopping on 252 south, and tive who speaks five languages flu- ing a little more work in the media lookers! I'm not saying that there then taking a left onto 30. Hint, aspect of communications. Toni still weren't the unavoidable beer slow down when you see a train would like to go Latin America and sloshing boys, but hey, you've got station on the left, otherwise you'll work for a radio station though he to deal sometimes. fly right by the place. In case of realizes that he could not appear Anyway, the fantastic selection confusion, call (610) 889-9352 and live on the air because of the lan- of beer features Sierra Nevada, they'll try to assist you in finding guagepursuing difference. these goals, When Toni hewrites is not in •Heineken, ______and many other top beers your destination. "I his native language Catalon for Avui, I a Barcelona newspaper. He also I GRADUATION ANNOllNCEl\IENTS does independent research and at­ tends conferences on International Communications in order to expand .9L farge se{ection of custom printea his horizons. Though Toni appears to have a graduation announcements, invitations, Photo hy Kristen ScInurumn full agenda for the next ten years or ana %anl(;you caras are avai£a6fe at Antoni Castells-Talens so, he is careful not to make stead­ fast plans, seeing that many things speciafreaucea rates for l1rsinus sttufents! entIy, would agree that he is quite a have happened to him due to fate. renaissance mao when it comes to Just think, he only planned to come the arts, international communica­ to Ursinus as a language assistant Call now for more information tions would most definitely be his for one year, but when he got here expertise. Toni plans to study this he liked it so much he decided to • 1-800-481-3998 subject further when he returns to stay ... and the rest is history. .------~ M~ 26, 1'1'16 ...... A~ ~ ...... +++++Movie Mania+++++

the dreaded goose egg. To my Unlike during Billy Madison, I ac­ fact that I was in a really good mood Happy Gilmore is a decent movie surprise, Happy Gilmore, unlike tually found myselflaughing at many and I was with about 10 friends, but to watch ifyou are in the right mOOd Sandler's last film, was not all that I still enjoyed myself. and you are with the right people, bad. It was mentioned in the movie although I wouldn't drop every. Well, the Academy Awards hap­ Happy is a hockey player who that TV ratings for golf doubled thing to go see it. Rating- 6 (Not pened as this week's paper went to wasn't good enough to make it In thr.. weeks: because of Happy's antics. Think­ Bad) press, so I couldn't write an article into the NHL. He needs the money ing back on the movie, I think golf in time, and, unfortunately, you will to support his grandmother who .9k oIkJlJie cKoniacJ could really use a player like Happy. Movie quote ofthe week- Ifyou can have to wait another three weeks for was evicted from her house, so he With the possible exception of syn­ think way back to three weeks ago, my report, because ofEaster Recess resorts to golf, and somehow gets c5'econd 04/1/l/1d chronized swimming, golfhas to be the quote, "When 900 years old you and our April Fools' issue on to the PGA tour. the most boring sport to watch. I reach, look this good you will Dot" In the meantime, my friends Happy makes himselfknown on 04~ 04waed honestly think golf viewership was from Return ofthe Jed; andwas dragged me to see Happy Gilmore the golf circuit because of his abil­ would increase if there were an ob­ identified by Marie Pat Githens. starring Adam Sandler. Idon'tknow ity to drive the ball 300 plus yards o16tebooA; noxious player who cursed, threw This week's quote is a little harder, how they talked me in to this, be­ and his short, explosive temper. I hislher club, and frequently lost his/ but if you saw the movie you win cause Billy Madison, Sandler's last especially liked the part that you her temper. It would be like John almost certainly get this quote. Itis movie was absolutely unfunny and may have seen in the previews McEnroe in tennis, Michael Irvin in "Badgers? We don't need no downright horrible. It was one of when he and Bob Barker were times during the movie. That may the NFL, and, well,just about every stinkin' badgers!" the very few films that I would give duking it out have had something to do with the player in the NBA...... ~~ ...... •.. COMMUNiCATiON

.,,' .. t ,'., .,- . /lXTS 412: stand, but when he chooses the time of the Coronation of King

stunning angelic showgirlf Elsie George N - (for you history majors, Shakespeare and Shaffer Marina (Marylin Monroe), his or­ don't quote me on that). Both Olivier derly .worlcJ..·tums up-side,-down. and M~nroe are mru:elous .in .their . ' A uni q ue summer course offered will examine the performance Spring break has ended and it is Each time the two star-crossed lov­ respectIve roles. ThIs movIe IS all· h c .. Arts d . .. . • b Yt e ommuDIcation epart- Shakespeare's King Lear and Mer­ time to hit the celluloid, oops I mean ers try to go their separate ways, entertamment, WIth a sIlly, nonsensl- • . I d ti d th . . mentmc u esa our ay eatertnp chant of Venice, as well as the life books, once again. The long semes­ fate steps in to keep them together. cal plot. Perfect for blowmg ofsteam. h S tti d F . al Th . . • to tetra or estiv eatre m and music of Wolfgang Amadeus ter stretch of classes, tests, and pa­ Elsie is a simple, honest American after (or even durmg) a long study • S tti dOn' J 13 thr gh Mozart and their representation in pers is upon us. The pressure is on girl (naturally a blondie), who ac­ session. • tra or, . tarIO, une ou F th d' t • June 16, to vIew three of the current Peter Shaffer's Amadeus. and like many of you, I'm feeling cidentally gets involved in or 0 er. nonsense. come les .0 • productions. The cost of the course, incl. tense and ready for a long leisurely Carpathia's political intrigue and clear your mmd and relIeve the stram. C .. A 412 . fi . I d I k ti • ommuOlcatJon rts : the four-day bus trip, tickets, .. summer vacation. Since that won't turns out to know more than the o f m ormatIon over oa, 00 or Shak d Sh ffi hi h . • espearean a er, w c runs portation and hotel accom~ happen anytime soon, we can be experts. Her answer to it all is another blondle bombshell, Jane • fr M 22 d thr gh J 24th is tuition plus $130. EnroUmlllli diverted by some classic comedies "more love in the world." The Mansfieldin"WiIlsuccessspoilRock •. om ay ~ ou une , limited; Call Dr. Henry at409-~I0U4f" H that entertain but don't enlighten. stuffy, proper, hot-tempered Grand H unt er" or "The glT. I can 't h e Ipl. 't" ·IS• a four-credIt course. that focuses 'f ti M.upon the expenence of theatre. or 287-8174 to indicate Duke, who is on the verge of being H owever, 1 you care or more on- . "L t' ak .Classes,heldMondayandWednes- "The Prince and the Show girl" overthrown by his estranged son, roe film1 s, I00 kti or h er m e s me. .. . tion. All the Grand Duke Charles, Re­ is soon mellowed by the chann of love," with Yves Monstand and guest • day evenmgs pnor to the excursIOn, gent of Carpathia (Sir Laurence his unwilling lover. The story is appearances from Gene Kelley, Olivier) wanted was a one-night set in early 1900 England, at the Milton Berle, and Bing Crosby. (610)489-4875 COLLEGEVILLE SELF STORAGE INC IIY.~•• " :ff.':1:: 99 SECOND AVENUE The Voke 0,. Urs'i:n:usf COLLEGEVILLE PA 19426 Any student interested in the position of General Manager of WVOU for the 1996-97 school • ACCESS 7 DAYS A WEEK ye:lr should submit an application to Dr. Jay Miller in Ritter Center by April 1, 1996. For • OUTSIDE RV·BOAT STORAGE more information, contact Dr. Miller at x2266 or David Webb at 489-7755. • CONTROLLED ACCESS GATE WVOU is the campus radio station of Ursinus College located in the basement of Bomberger • FENCED WITH SECURITY LIGH Hall. WVOU broadcasts via carrier current on 530 AM to Reimert Hall, Old Men's, and the Quad, and via radiating coax on 88.1 FM to houses between Sixth and Eighth Avenues SIZES FROM Helen & Milt Yohn on Main Street, and by direct line to the Wismer Dining Hall, Wismer Lower lounge, and SXSTO lOX the Commuter Lounge in Bomberger Hall. For information on progr!Jmming or advertising on WVOU, contact David Webb at 489- Located in Collegeville Shopping Center 7755. (Behind the ACME) 28,1998

TRECROCE NAMED PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Ursinus junior Janetta Trecroce was also compiled a 5-0 record with a 1.13 named the Centennial Conference Soft­ ERA on the mound. Trecroce joined the BEARS AT 10-3 ball Player of the Week for the period Bears this season after transferring from ending March 17. Trecroce led the Rutgers University. She was named the Ur6inus regulars with a .419 batting Atlantic 10 Conference Rookie of the AFTER WINNING STREAK average and helped the Bears to a 9-2 Year in 1994. record the first week of the season. She

CoutaY of the Ursinus baseball team 7-3 win over Anna Maria, Massachu­ perfect suicide squeeze play, scoring setts. Phil Nagengast got the win, Bill Jeff deSimone, who had singled. The Ursinus baseball team opened Stiles was 3 for 4, and Ben Mills was I On March 22nd the Bears beat Wid­ Ihcir season in Cocoa, Florida, under for 3 with two RBIs. ener 6-1 in a non-conference game. dIe\ights at the spring training home of The Bears had a let down against St. Tomlinson, Burke, Mike Aceto, dlcMontreai Expos. Scott Keith con­ Joe's, losing 7-2. Four unearned runs Rychling, and McTear each contrib­ _ where he left off last year by were scored in the third inning against uted two hits to the Bears team total of pill:bing a four hit, nine strikeout, 1-0 Scott Keith and the offense could mus­ II. Aceto had three RBIs and Burke sbuIoul The winning run was scored ter only two runs. hit a solo home run down the right field The softball team is playing every bit Sammartino, who picked up the win byPbi1 Mandato, who had singled and Ursinus lost again to the University line. like its Number-I 0 pre-season ranking. on the mound, carried a no-hitter into wa forced home by a bases loaded of Chicago 4-1. Brian Creelman Hansen pitched a complete game win The Bears have won 13 of 14 games the sixth inning. After a leadoff walk since dropping their opener to SUNY­ WIlt to Joe Burke. pitched well, but the offense could not with five strikeouts, two walks, and and a stolen base, Sammartino allowed Binghamton, 8-2. Ursinus has won five Aftcrtwo days of rain the Bears con­ get on track. Burke had two of the seven hits. a one-out single which broke up the no­ games in a row. hitter and the shutout. She struck out tinued play against nationally ranked three hits. On March 23rd the Bears hosted Dela­ On March 23, Ursinus opened de­ seven and allowed two hits in the con­ Bridgewater State, Connnecticut, and The week ended with a big win over ware Valley in a double header, taking fense of its Centennial Conference title test. suffered a 13-3 loss. Aaron Rychling Vassar 10-1. Freshman Steve Graham the first game by a score of 10-3 and with a doubleheader sweep of Franklin Ursinus gave Sammartino all the sup­ 2 for 4 in the loss. pitched a strong game and Tomlinson the second 10-9. was & Marshall. The Bears took the opener, port she needed with a four-run outburst was 2 for 3 with an RBI. Tim Haberbush The next opponent was SUNY­ In the first game Tomlinson and 4-0 behind the four-hit pitching of in the first inning. The Big blow was Brockport. The Bears won a see-saw was 2 for 2 and Mandato was 2 for 2 McTear had two hits a piece, with .Janetta Trecroce. Trecroce struck out Kim Reese's two-run triple. Morrell game9-7 with Erik Hansen picking up with two RBIs. Keith picking up the win. McTear 11 and did not walk a batter. She was and Pam Hufner both followed with the win. Aaron Rychling was 2 for 4 Coach Brian Thomas was pleased drove a four hundred foot grand slam also 2-for-3 at the plate with a RBI and RBI sacrifice flies. witbfour RBIs and Brian McTear was with the 6-3 outcome, however, he deep to center field only to have it a run scored. Heather Klinger was 2- Reese led the Bears' 12-hit attack 3for 3. The Bears had r I hits in all. expressed disappointment with the of­ reduced to a three run single. He for-3 with a run scored. with a 3-for-4 performance. Polgar, N. ;;miley pitched a great game fense. The defense and pitching were passed the runner ahead of him while Trecroce also drove home the game­ Nicole Kiwak and Amy Michel each agaiast Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, consistent, bufthe bals were silent for rounding first base, causing the um­ winning run in the night cap. With the -added two hits. - winning 3-2. Nate had no walks, six most of the trip. pires to call him out and robbing him of scored tied, 6-6, in the fifth inning, On March 19, Ursinus scored three SIrikeouts, and spread out seven hits. Since the trip the Bears have traveled . his blast.·, Trecroce ' s sacrifice fl ¥ scored her sister times in the fourth and held on to beat 1beBears scored all three runs in the to perennially strong Elizabethtown In the second game Ursinus broke out Selena, who had singled and advanced host EI izabethtown, 3-1. Janetta ~mningwithDanTomlinsondriv­ on Tuesday and played a typical March for 10 runs and 10 hits in the third to third by a walk and a sacrifice. Ursinus Trecroce, the Centennial Conference tDa die winning run and going 2 for baseball game in drizzle and cold inning, but had to fight offa late charge added an insurance run in the sixth Player of the Week, started the inning , brlle game. winds. by the Del Val Aggies. when Lori Lennon led off with a double with a walk. She stole second and scored UrilDus won its third straight game Ursinus pulled out an exciting 3-1 Tomlinson was 3 for 3 with an RBI. and later scored on a bases loaded walk on a booming double by Kiwak. Kiwak to Chris Sotka. The Bears would need with. win over FDU-Madison 5-2. win with Smiley pitching his second Rychling was 2 for 2 and deSimone later scored on a RBI fielder's choice by that run for an 8-7 win. IcIl'PII.Mclo:ro pitched a nice game and strong game, allowing only three hits. was 2 for 3. Burke had three RBIs with Selena Trecroce. Lennon, who singled, On March 21 , Ursinus defeated host scored on a wild pitch. Sammartino picked up the save. Mike The Bears bats broke out with 10 hits, a double in the explosive third inning. Widener, 5-1, in a non-conference game struck out nine and allowed j~st one hit IdJaIllllPlIIldMike Romello were 2 for 3. with Mike Romello going 3 for 3 and Lefty Brian Creelman earned the win, and gave head coach Don Groff his in picking up the win. with Smiley picking up the save. 1 ~ " IIIIIDC;an;made it four straight with a Burke 2 for 4. Tomlinson executed a 100th career victory. APHILLYFAN giving this particular moron a little labelled a "moron" or any other term because it is a topic discussed in every a job? Jason Honig a girl older than too much credit. indicating that not only is he not play­ biology course from Ethology to Plant 18? China to stop bombing near Who is this moron, stupid person, or ing with a full deck, but that he's not Physiology, and you will learn that Taiwan? whatever else you want to call him? even playing the same game most of the HIV virus just doesn't disappear Ifhe truly can use his "magic" to rid It's not John Lucas, Jerry Stackhouse, us are playing. through "magic". himself of the HIV virus, as he hon­ UII... . tbe: Phliladelphiia sports scene, Pat Croce, Josh Hartle, or any of the He said, to paraphrase, that he knows First of all, I know how he con­ estly believes, then he's got to be able other usual suspects, but the one and how he got the virus, and he thinks he tracted the virus, you know how, and to do these other things because their only Tommy Morrison. knows how to get rid of it. He pre­ he knows how. He had too much fun difficulty is easily surpassed by the For those of you who don't know dicted that within eight months he and that, in itself, makes him a "mo­ eradication ofthe virus. Well, maybe who Tommy Morrison is, why are would be back in the ring and virus ron" or at least sets him firmly on the not the Honig thing. you reading my column? But seri­ free. Yes, I said that he believes he path to achieving moron status. I must apologize to anyone who was ously, he's a professional boxer often will be virus free. Second of all, his beliefthat he will looking to forward to comment on the ••• 12 to my electronic dictio­ recognized in the past for his acting When asked how he, a boxer, plans achieve what a million billion PhD's Eagles signing of Irving Fryar, the ••lOI'Onis one oftwo things. A cscapades in Rock VI rather than his on cleansing his body of the dreaded and M.D.'s have been trying to do sale of the Flyers or Sixers, or the "a person regarded as pugilistic skills. virus, he rcplied, "Magic." The sick since the discovery ofthe disease just Phillies spring training. Sorry. "a person of mild Recently, however, hc's been in thc part is that he was 100 percent seri­ makes me wonder. I wonder if his It is a rare occasion, though, that ••" _rdal~on having a mental news for his acquisition of the HIV ous. He really believes this. "magic" is limited at all. someone says something as stupid as 7 to 12 years and gener- virus, most likely due to self-acknowl­ Now, if you can't see why this man Is Morrison capable of making the Morrison did, and it's even rarer that communication and so­ edged promiscuity, and his conse­ deserves thc label "moron", then stop Sixcrs win? they actually mean it. some degree of quent retiring from the ring. right now and make sure you cnroll in Can he make Dennis Rodman's hair As a final note, Friday night John vOQJtionai education." Late last week he once again made a biology coursc offered next semes­ stay thc same color for two days in a Lucas was persistently heckled by a believe both definitions the news with some interesting com­ ter. No matter the coursc, you're row? fan. ....IICOIJd ddiDilioa may be ments, comments that merit his being bound to talk about the HIV virus Or can hc get Randall Cunningham SP RTS Marellll, Lacrosse Starts Season Lacrosse With A Bang

_I@h'gtli¥h_ half. Ursinus scored 10 of their Trinity's season-opener against score of9-4. Unfortunately, the Judie Marcus, and Kris Alg~ 12 points before Rowan finally Ursinus proved to be a little second halfwas a struggle. The each had 1 goal. Trinity's lead The Grizzly c: Of :J scored. Jen Howe led the Bears rougher. Their confidence was Bears could not get their offense ing scorers were Berkman aJII Ursinus hosted Rowan in a sea­ offense with 4 goals. Amy down as they left the field disap­ going. Trinity controlled the Waldman each contributing: son-opener that will make teams Minnich, Kris Algeo, and Missy pointed on that bitter cold Satur­ tempo of the second half but it goals apiece. Lance, Trinity', think twice when preparing to Myers each contributed 2 goals day. Trinity was also ranked 5th was not enough to pull off a big goalie, came up with 9 say play the Lady Bears. Pre-season and Judie Marcus along with in the pre-season polls, tied with W. The final score with Ursinuslead stats ranked Ursinus 15th and Meme Hamlin each had 1 goal. Rowan. The stats were wrong Kim Ryan had an excellent ing was 12-10. Rowan 5th. Needless to say, Also, Myers, Marcus, and again because when Ursinus took game with 21 saves. Trinity Women's Lacrosse is off to I Ursinus was not intimidated by Hamlin each had I assist. Kim the field they were ready to play. ended up with a total of33 shots great start and we wish them the stats. Ryan came up with 8 saves as The Bears started strong scor­ on goal. Jen Howe led Ursinus' best ofluck in the games tocomt Ursinus led 5-0 at halftime and U rsinus defeated a shattered ing 7 points within the first 10 scoring with 6 goals. Missy Keep it up Bears! ! held Rowan far into the second Rowan 12-2. minutes. They led at half with a Myers added 3 and Dana Curry, CHUCK'S WAGON son, had 20 points, 10 rebounds, Cube said, Anthony Bowie did mess of fInesse oriented smooth operator Jesse Federman or John Dorr hall and 9 assists. Bowie is a good bench around, and he did get a triple Colin Brancas any day. ing big years again out ofthe player, but he does have limited double. By the time the next paper comes for the Rockies. Some years ago there was a gentle­ skills. After he got a rebound off a There is little question that the out, the baseball season will have Oliverandhiswick,edlrnucJdc:cuni man named Ice Cube (the real lines free throw, he called time, obvi­ Detroit Red Wings are the best team been going on for 2 weeks, so now would have been better, but I' d rather ously a bush league move to give in the NHL. Second are the A va­ I will offer my predictions. Begin­ not curse) who rapped about mess­ him extra time for a triple double. lanche. And then there's all the ning in the National League, I know ing around and getting a triple You never call time out when Wales Conference, the conference I I have said it before, dates are not double. Oh, and how sweet a triple you're up by 20 with 4 seconds left. refuse to call the East. The next best important, that the New York Mets double is in the great game of bas­ It's just wrong. A triple double is teams are the Penguins, Rangers, will be one of the most dominant ketball. True, Cube did mention cool, real cool like Jordan:s Nike Panthers, and Flyers, 4 teams who teams ever in the history of base­ some unpleasantries such as pick­ hat in that interview. It's the type of have negligible if any advantages ball. By the year 2000, they will ing up a fat burger and spitting out hat Fromal, Joey, and Espo wear. I over each other. The winner of the have at least two lOO-win seasons. some rounds of his AK, but every­ forget the name of it. Well, you Stanley Cup will be one of the 4 I've been on their bandwagon ever body remembers about mess in don't ever run it up with unconven­ Eastern teams. The Red Wings­ since all their young guns have been around and gettin a triple double. tional tactics. If a layup in the post Avalanche fmal will be more enter­ in Single A. They have perhaps 4 of Now for all you suckas you don't gets Bowie a lOth assist, then fme, taining just like last year when the the top 5 young pitchers in the ma­ know, check it out. A triple double but you don't calJ a TO with 4 Wings beat I think Chicago. And jors, with Bill Pulsipher, Juan is when in one game you have any seconds left. Magic coach Brian then everybody pissed and moaned Acevedo, Jason Isrioghausen, Paul combination of at least 10 points, Coyle let Bowie play teacher in the when the Devils swept them in the Wilson, Nate Smiley, and Jim rebounds, assists, steals, or blocks. huddle and call the play, but Pistons Finals in what was considered bad Walsh. Yes, I know it's 6. They're Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were coach Doug Collins dug deep into boring hockey. Well, bad boring just loaded. They have more blue triple double kings of recent his own bush league play book. He hockey wins. The Penguins, Rang­ chip prospects than there are posi­ memory. Jordan had like 5 in 5 had his guys not play any defense ers, and Flyers have far more fIre­ tions. This all won't be enough to games when he fIrst moved to point and allowed Bowie to get an uncon­ power than the Panthers or the Dev­ beat the Braves this year, who seem guard the year before he retired. I tested cheeseball cheese pancreas ils, what with all the guns, bazoo­ to have the same problem of having think Oscar Robertson, Oscar the assist. Bowie approached Collins kas, tanks, and other things Jim too many good players, but the Mets Grouch, or perhaps it was a member in the runway to the lockerroom, Barsky has. They can go toe to toe, have no big money players except of the Flatulent 5 that averaged a only to receive a vicious uppercut mano a mano, and belly to belly in for closer John Franco. The Mets watch. They're gonna triple double for a whole year back from Collins. Some people just the helter skelter scoring style if have unlimited cash flow, and any The last question nf,arhntMCrr in the 60s. weren't cut out for life on the road. they want to. piece to the puzzle in the future will nal Rockers wereW8l; 1liii_lID, Ok, now that you can equate the Anthony Bowie is a good guy. The Campbell Conference, the one be able to be filled with big time and by Dan the Physics triple double with the mystique of He's a good man of the church, a I refuse to call the West, should not big money free agents. This year that Marty Janetty __ .L ...... ,- Jack Reich's heart warming plea for good family man. He plays with the even bother. The playoff teams are will be the beginning of a dominant with a LeifCassidyto the southern cockatoo ormaybe rac­ kids alJ the time. But if Anthony in the East. Their bigger and their dynasty. Rockers, and the He:Il11I!"i I ing the carts down to the lacrosse Bowie really needs a triple double stronger. The West is all a bunch of The Braves will win the East, and Shawn Micheals were fIeld, maybe you can see where I'm that bad at the expense of the Pis­ piddly little scorers. They play 9-6 the Mets will get the NL wild card. The HBK has, ofCOL InC •• "" going. Last week, the Magic de­ tons, then he needs to go out and games every Saturday at midnight I'll pick the Cubs in the NL Central bigger and hetterlthml2S ja1l!lD "1 stroyed the Pistons in Orlando, buy a Sega and get NBA Live. He at the local Y. It's foolishness. because, well, they have to win some For the which is about as surprising as the can put himself in for the whole There is very little toughness in the time. The Dodgers have more for­ sun coming up in the morning or game. He can take every shot. He West, which, honestly, isn't all that eigners than the Rockies so they DanTom not getting 3 hits in a game. can even break Chamberlain's bad, it's just different, but tough­ will win the West. Awful pitching as a Jive Soul Jko? It was surprising, though, that with record ifhe wants to. He can get a ness always wins over fInesse. has got to catch up to the Rockies. this week, next week is 4 seconds left, one of the original quintuple double ifhe uses the time That's why a team full of tough They throw a bunch of pitching where everyone is fair Magic, Anthony Bowie, who had outs to stay fresh. But just like Ice Sean Leahy is going to beat a team machines out there. I just don't see the pleasure was all y started for an injured Nick Ander-