On the on Thebayou Bayou
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Crazy Crazy on the on theBayou Bayou Five Seasons of Louisiana Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting Crazy Crazy “As much of the rest of the world is finally on the waking up to the smart return to a proper Bayou diet of grass-fed, free-range, and organic, the Five Seasons of Louisiana hunting families of the world can’t help but on theBayou Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting snicker a cocky smirk knowing damn well Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting what we knew all along: that wild game is the Five Seasons of Louisiana ultimate nutritional fun diet. My spirit-of-the- Humberto Fontova wild bayou blood brother Humberto Fontova Five Seasons of Louisiana celebrates this self-evident truth with aplomb Humberto Fontova has been hunting and and cocksureness in his wonderful new killer fishing for decades. Born in Havana, Cuba, book, Crazy on the Bayou: Five Seasons of Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting Humberto Fontova puts you in the heart he grew up in New Orleans, where his family Louisiana Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting. of the Louisiana bayous, where if the landed as political refugees in 1961. Fontova Humberto is the real McCoy and when mosquitos don’t leave you itching for more, graduated from the University of New he and his blood brothers unite for their then the hangover will. The misadventures Orleans with a degree in political science voracious tooth, fang, and claw orgy of continue as the cast from his previous two and from Tulane University with a master’s reasoning, predator killin’, and grillin’, they books traverses the overgrown marsh, in Latin American studies. A former sales prove there is no party like a bayou party. seeks out wild game, and guzzles beer. After and marketing professional, he eventually What a wonderful quality-of-life upgrade facing off with the beasts of the bayou, the became a full-time writer and public speaker everyone could experience if they would only crew retreats home to clean their kills and and has been a contributing writer for get crazy on the bayou like the rest of us!” enjoy a feast. Every chapter contains one Louisiana Sportsman for almost thirty years. —Ted Nugent of Fontova’s own Cuban-Cajun recipes for He has written articles for other publications, preparing wild game. From parmesan- including Louisiana Conservationist, Sierra, Take a trip with outdoorsman and writer dusted duck fingers to duck gumbo and Bowhunter, Newsmax, and Salon.com. Aside Humberto Fontova and his companions as pressure-cooker nutria sauce piquante, from documenting his outdoor adventures, they boat through the marshes of America’s Fontova the author offers Cajun cooking at its best. Fontova has published two books on Fidel Sportsman’s Paradise, scouting wild game and Gonzo-style journalism meets the brackish Castro, and he writes weekly political warding off intruders. Fontova thrills with this waters of Buras, Belle Chasse, and Bayou columns for Townhall.com, the Miami new episode featuring his rambunctious cast of Manchac in this part-memoir, part-cookbook, Herald, and the online journal FrontPage friends from the books that spawned the Travel and part-outdoorsman spectacle that every Magazine. He lives in New Orleans. Channel magazine series “Destination Danger.” hunter must read. Front-jacket photograph by Pelayo Pelaez PELICAN SPORTS & RECREATION / PELICAN Hunting 1000 Burmaster Street Gretna, Louisiana 70053 www.pelicanpub.com Humberto Fontova Crazy On The Bayou Dust Jacket.indd 1 9/13/2017 11:56:38 AM Crazy Crazy on the on theBayou Bayou Five Seasons of Louisiana Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting Crazy Crazy “As much of the rest of the world is finally on the waking up to the smart return to a proper Bayou diet of grass-fed, free-range, and organic, the Five Seasons of Louisiana hunting families of the world can’t help but on theBayou Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting snicker a cocky smirk knowing damn well Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting what we knew all along: that wild game is the Five Seasons of Louisiana ultimate nutritional fun diet. My spirit-of-the- Humberto Fontova wild bayou blood brother Humberto Fontova Five Seasons of Louisiana celebrates this self-evident truth with aplomb Humberto Fontova has been hunting and and cocksureness in his wonderful new killer fishing for decades. Born in Havana, Cuba, book, Crazy on the Bayou: Five Seasons of Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting Humberto Fontova puts you in the heart he grew up in New Orleans, where his family Louisiana Hunting, Fishing, and Feasting. of the Louisiana bayous, where if the landed as political refugees in 1961. Fontova Humberto is the real McCoy and when mosquitos don’t leave you itching for more, graduated from the University of New he and his blood brothers unite for their then the hangover will. The misadventures Orleans with a degree in political science voracious tooth, fang, and claw orgy of continue as the cast from his previous two and from Tulane University with a master’s reasoning, predator killin’, and grillin’, they books traverses the overgrown marsh, in Latin American studies. A former sales prove there is no party like a bayou party. seeks out wild game, and guzzles beer. After and marketing professional, he eventually What a wonderful quality-of-life upgrade facing off with the beasts of the bayou, the became a full-time writer and public speaker everyone could experience if they would only crew retreats home to clean their kills and and has been a contributing writer for get crazy on the bayou like the rest of us!” enjoy a feast. Every chapter contains one Louisiana Sportsman for almost thirty years. —Ted Nugent of Fontova’s own Cuban-Cajun recipes for He has written articles for other publications, preparing wild game. From parmesan- including Louisiana Conservationist, Sierra, Take a trip with outdoorsman and writer dusted duck fingers to duck gumbo and Bowhunter, Newsmax, and Salon.com. Aside Humberto Fontova and his companions as pressure-cooker nutria sauce piquante, from documenting his outdoor adventures, they boat through the marshes of America’s Fontova the author offers Cajun cooking at its best. Fontova has published two books on Fidel Sportsman’s Paradise, scouting wild game and Gonzo-style journalism meets the brackish Castro, and he writes weekly political warding off intruders. Fontova thrills with this waters of Buras, Belle Chasse, and Bayou columns for Townhall.com, the Miami new episode featuring his rambunctious cast of Manchac in this part-memoir, part-cookbook, Herald, and the online journal FrontPage friends from the books that spawned the Travel and part-outdoorsman spectacle that every Magazine. He lives in New Orleans. Channel magazine series “Destination Danger.” hunter must read. Front-jacket photograph by Pelayo Pelaez PELICAN SPORTS & RECREATION / PELICAN Hunting 1000 Burmaster Street Gretna, Louisiana 70053 www.pelicanpub.com Humberto Fontova Crazy On The Bayou Dust Jacket.indd 1 9/13/2017 11:56:38 AM Humberto Fontova PELICAN PUBLISHING COMPANY GRETNA 2017 Copyright © 2017 By Humberto Fontova All rights reserved The word “Pelican” and the depiction of a pelican are trademarks of Pelican Publishing Company, Inc., and are registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. ISBN: 9781455623532 Ebook ISBN: 9781455623549 Back-jacket photographs by Pelayo Pelaez except: second from top at right by Buzzy McKee, third from top at right by Simon Townsend, right at top by Rudy Hall, right at bottom by Shirley Fontova Photographs in book by author except: page 12 by Wendel Gillen; page 13 by Jared Serigne; page 24 by Paul Pelaez; pages 25, 76, 81, 162, 196 by Pelayo Pelaez; page 106 by Shirley Fontova; page 120 by Mikey Fontova; page 128 by Chris Keys; page 147 by Johnny Morise Printed in the United States of America Published by Pelican Publishing Company, Inc. 1000 Burmaster Street, Gretna, Louisiana 70053 In south Louisiana, many nationally popular terms (“tailgate party” comes to mind for one) take on a “special” meaning. In brief, they’re cranked up several notches. This cranking up is itself cranked up when it comes to the term “hunting and fishing widow.” Shortly after this book’s release, Shirley and I will celebrate our thirty-ninth wedding anniversary. Naturally the rollicking “paaaw-ty” will feature much of the gang rollicking through the forthcoming pages, whom I refer to as my “running buddies.” And speaking of “running buddies,” to my left in the wedding picture in the introduction you’ll see seven of them. This book is dedicated to the (gorgeous) one who appears on my right. Now I’ll borrow from a popular Grateful Dead lyric: “what a loooong, strange (but wonderful!) trip it’s been,” honey! In the forthcoming pages, you’ll come to appreciate the “strangeness”—and especially the “wonder!”—of this trip. Contents Introduction . 9 Chapter 1 Fall: Duck-Hunting Season. .17 Chapter 2 Winter: Nutria, Sheepshead, and “Caaawnival” Season . 61 Chapter 3 Spring: Freshwater Fishing Season . 103 Chapter 4 Summer: Saltwater Fishing Season . 131 Chapter 5 Fall Again: Deer Season . 181 Introduction “Had Dante seen it,” wrote English novelist Frances Trollope of the place, “he might have drawn images of another hell from its horrors!” Mrs. Trollope was horrified while cruising through south Louisiana’s bayous on her way to New Orleans in 1832. “Swamp tours” just didn’t carry much cachet back then. “Wetlands” were regarded as anything but “valuable.” Now these “horrors” form the setting for some of reality TV’s highest rated shows. Indeed bayou country has become, according to a recent story by the New York Times, “the Reality TV capital of the world.” “To bring these people to reason,” thundered Louisiana’s first American governor, William Claiborne, “we’ll have to train the cannons on them and batter down the walls of the city.