THE HAYDON NEWS

UN-STABLE

INSIDE THIS ISSUE PAGE

Editorial 2 Parish Council Notes 3 Historical Notes 4/5 Bygone 6 Cricket fixtures 7 Issue 06 Tula’s Travels 7 Poets’ Corner 7 Dr. Steve Ford 8/9 June Church Pages 10/11 Village Project ? 12 2005

HAYDONPublished NEWS by The Friends Of Page 1 FRIENDS OF HAYDON BRIDGE EDITORIAL COMMENT. MEMBERSHIP/SUBSCRIPTION FORM. From the Friends of Haydon Bridge a ‘THANK YOU’ to all Please find enclosed membership/subscription fee of £………… our advertisers for their prompt payment for adverts and their continuing support of the Haydon News. Name……………………………………………………. A ‘THANK YOU’ is also due to the many people who have given their support to the Haydon News by paying Address………………………………………………… membership of the ‘Friends’ and/or making a donation . All the money goes towards meeting the cost of producing the ………………………………………………… Haydon News. Cheques made payable to ‘The Friends of Haydon Bridge’ Did you get to this years ‘Haydon Local Artists’ Summer Exhibition ? A great display of local talent. Enquiries in the first instance to [email protected] There are several events in the village in the coming month all advertised in this edition.

Unless you live locally and you may leave it at Finally, can I draw your attention to the electrifying feature J.& M. Clarke (newsagents) for collection. from our ‘special correspondent’ on page 12 ? Addressed to The Haydon News It should generate a great deal of interest ! P.S. Bright sparks will make the connection with the ’fair Thank you. wind’ item in Dr Ford’s Page, though none was intended. On the other hand there may be possibilities !!

HAYDON NEWS contributions and crosswords to: The Editors.

J& M CLARKE W& M MARSH editors@haydon- news.co.uk (newsagents) (newsagents) CO-OP LATE SHOP Church Street. Ratcliffe Road. Ratcliffe Road

The HAYDON NEWS is edited, published and printed by the Friends of Haydon Bridge. It is distributed free of charge to all but the most distant household in Haydon Parish.

The committee of the Friends of Haydon Bridge thank those members who produce the Haydon News, people who contribute items for publication, our advertisers and distributors.

EDITORIAL POLICY OF THE HAYDON NEWS. The editorial policy of the Haydon News is the responsibility of the Committee of the Friends of Haydon Bridge, although day to day responsibility is delegated to the editors. Our intention is always to ensure that the content of the Haydon news is as fair and factually correct as possible. Any complaints concerning editorial policy should be addressed in writing to the Chairman of the Friends of Haydon Bridge, and will be considered by and receive a formal response from the Committee of the Friends of Haydon Bridge. Complaints other than those made above will not be entertained. The Editors reserve the right to decide which letters are to be published, and to alter or shorten letters when necessary. Anonymous letters will NOT be published. A nom-de-plume may be used provided that the Editors have been advised of the writer’s name and address.

Mike Parkin (chairman)

Committee of the ‘Friends of Haydon Bridge’

Mike Parkin(chairman), Dennis Gilert (vice chairman), Elena Parkin (secretary), Alastair Bowen (Treasurer), Sylvia Mitchell, Dennis Telford, Charles Thomas, Catherine Hall, Storey Hall.

Page 2 HAYDON NEWS

SHAFTOE GREEN

Work is progressing rapidly on Shaftoe Green; the play equipment is due to be installed at the end of June and should be completed by the summer holidays.

We now need Haydon Bridge residents to help by volunteering to be part of the Health and Safety team who will be responsible for ensuring that the play equipment remains safe for our children. The idea is that an individual or family will be responsible for the weekly health and safety checks for just one month of the year. Individuals or families can take part in the necessary training for this, which has been organised for Saturday 16 th July 10am-4pm. The morning will consist of a powerpoint presentation for the adults, in the community centre, followed by an afternoon hands-on session at Redburn Park. Why not make the afternoon a family outing and bring a picnic?

Please help to make a success of Shaftoe Green by ensuring it is a safe environment for young and old. Sign up by ringing Pauline Wallis on 684061 or visit our stand at Shaftoe First School Summer Fair on Saturday July 9 th 10.am-12noon.

PARISH COUNCIL NOTES JUNE 2005.

6 councillors and 3 members of the shallow. Clearing the river would from the school car park entrance have public were present. cause it to flow more slowly and been completed. Due to some Public participation. deposit more stones. unforeseen expenses it may be necessary The loss of the bus shelter to make to delay the provision of picnic tables way for the housing development at The clerk read a letter from and some of the seating. The play areas the corner of Church St/Strother Northumbria Water explaining that the and other paths are expected to be Close continues to give cause for disinfectant taste in the domestic water completed by August. concern. Members of the council supply would be due to the chlorine The clerk told the council of the valuable talked at length about the steps taken added to ensure safe provision. service provided by the Allen Valleys to replace the shelter/get Phone & go bus service. However, compensation and how little Highways. problems with funding and lack of use progress has been made. Members of the public were urged to had caused the scope of the service to Prevarication was the word used by attend the By pass exhibition next be reduced. one councillor to describe weekend (see page 9). Council was People in Haydon Bridge were urged to communications with departments told of an extra public meeting on make use of this service which operates responsible for school transport at Saturday 25th June to organise support weekdays in term time and Mondays CC. for the by pass proposals. Wednesdays and Thursdays in school A member of the public described A councillor pointed out that funding holidays. To book phone 0870 043 3784 the present state of the cemetery as a for road maintenance by NCC had between 8am & 7.30pm at least 2 hours ‘disgrace’ and that it made her feel been reduced with the result that before travel and preferably the day ‘ashamed’ as other village general standards of repair were to fall. before. cemeteries appeared better kept. The Members of the public were requested problem of sheep getting into the to report roads in need of repair to the PARISH COUNCILLORS cemetery was also raised. The parish council. Esmond Faulks (chairman) council are to take action to improve The hedge beside the narrow pavement Mr. D Charlton maintenance. on the A69 between Innerhaugh and Mrs. E Charlton The huge heaps of stones in the the tunnel top was reported in need of Mrs. V Fletcher river, left after the January flood ,is trimming. Mr. M R Parkin causing people to query the Mrs. C Duffy effectiveness of flood prevention The seat outside the Community Mr. D Smith* measures. A councillor explained Centre is to be repaired. The mossy Mr. A Johnson that this issue had been raised with condition of the two seats at the War Mr. R Snowdon the Environmental Agency . The Memorial was reported. These seats Mr. T Stephenson reason given for no action being were donated some years ago by two Mr. E Brown. taken to clear the stones being that local businesses. (* also a Councillor) the river would clear them—water The Shaftoe Green project is Parish Clerk flowing faster where the river is progressing well, the path and steps Mrs. C McGivern

HAYDON NEWS Page 3 HISTORICAL NOTES OF HAYDON BRIDGE - Dennis Telford

TIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE Newcastle, and ‘The William IV’ at country pursuits that the Haydon Bridge the top of Bottle bank, ‘The Rector locality had to offer.” A visit to Burnley in Lancashire, where House’ where she lived with her father our son David and his wife Ruth live, and mother when McEwans was 8d a Edna’s first reaction to the people of and a chance meeting at a barbecue pint, and ‘Curley’s Bar’, all in Haydon Bridge who were her early there, provided me with another Gateshead, provide a host of amusing customers, made me smile. unexpected opportunity to explore a stories. brief interlude in our village’s more Not to mention her uncle Will Curley, “I thought they were all sex-mad fools! recent history. heavyweight boxer and owner of St. Husbands, buying their lady friends a James’ Hall. drink in the Bar room, and across the “Where do you live then?” And her cousin Hannah Anderson who passage in the Lounge their wives A very pleasant lady asked, as we was married to Hughie Gallagher. cuddling up to their men friends.” chewed through succulent steaks and sausages on sticks. It is the Haydon Bridge connection I promised Edna that I wouldn’t name however that I will share with you in names. Those who drank in the Haydon “We are from a small village in these ‘Notes. in the 60’s are safe…….for the moment! Northumberland called Haydon Bridge.” Edna had managed The Killingworth When Edna and Ralph Maddison moved Arms for twenty three years before into the Haydon Hotel, there were two “Well I never!! I once lived at Haydon moving to our village. outside doors on the South elevation and Bridge. I owned a pub there called the She admitted to me that she didn’t a passage ran through the property Haydon Hotel.” know much about Haydon Bridge separating the Bar room from the before buying the ‘Haydon’. Lounge. (‘Wherever ye gan you’re sure te She knew Corbridge and assumed that The narrow snug at the end of the find……….someone from Haydon our village would be much the same. passage was very much like a railway Bridge.’) carriage, and it overlooked the river. Edna’s customers that first night she Edna Boxall, or Edna Maddison as she was behind the bar, when snow (I remember it well ! This was a was when living at Haydon Bridge, and bleached in from the North and favourite room for Flash, Jeff, Joe, John, her husband Ralph, bought the Haydon covered the ground down Shaftoe Eddie, Raymond and myself, if we were Hotel in 1965. Street, were quick to dampen any early in the Haydon in the late 1950’s.) I visited Edna last month at her home in enthusiasm. South Gosforth and spent a most Customers in the Lounge, like many enjoyable time in her company. “Like Corbridge? You’ve made a big other public houses in those days, had to mistake there hinny. They’re posh in ring a bell on the wall for table service. Edna is 90 years old in November, has a Corbridge. And anyway, there’s nowt The first job the Maddisons did, was to wonderful memory and is able to relate a for anybody to do in this place!!” get the builders in, to remove part of the fascinating life story including the two passage and form an opening between years living with her name, Edna Had Edna and Ralph known at the the Bar and the Lounge so that both Maddison , above the door of one of the time, even the previous owners of the rooms could be served from the one bar. old established ale houses in our village. pub were doubtful about its future. (And maybe so that Edna could keep a They had confided to locals that they close eye on any hanky panky?) Edna’s immediate cheerful welcome was were worried that the success of the my first indication that she had not new Working Men’s Club would have There was a piano in the lounge and forgotten a lifetime connection with the a negative effect on their business. Edna remembers many a sing song. licensing trade. It was because of this that they had Especially when regular customers decided to sell the Haydon Hotel. arrived from , or from the “What would you like to drink Dennis Foremen’s Club at Vickers Armstrong ………..Oh but maybe you’re driving?” If Edna now had some early doubts on Scotswood Road. about the new venture, occasioned by I was…… I declined. the negative locals, her husband Ralph Memories of friends and regular drinkers After all, it was only half past ten in the was in his element in Haydon Bridge. in the Haydon Hotel over 40 years ago morning! are quite clear in Edna’s mind. “Ralph had his own Bookmakers Edna’s mother and her mother’s two business and generally only needed to “The baker, who lived on the other side sisters each married publicans, it is no visit his shops in Dudley and of the street. A big chap.” surprise then, that her story recalls Burradon at the weekends. absorbing anecdotes of Newcastle and During the week he would scramble “Tot Barron?” Gateshead licensed premises throughout over the wall of the lovely garden to the last century. the West of the ‘Haydon’, and climb “Yes that’s his name. Of course. Tot Family connections with ’The Trafalgar’ down to the river where we had the Barron. Tot was very friendly with and ‘The Crown and Sceptre’ in fishing rights. Ralph enjoyed all the Ralph.”

Page 4 HAYDON NEWS mother lived in Haydon Bridge; MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING “The newsagent across the bridge” anyway, Ralph was quite unnecessarily I’ll leave you with a tale of which I am jealous; but that was the way he was. reminded by Ralph Maddison’s “Robert Harding?” He immediately showed the fellow to propensity to show his customers the door and pushed him out onto the door. “That’s it. Robert. And his wife I think. Shaftoe Street telling him that he was William Shakespeare, wandering the Do they still have the newsagents? barred. dales of Allen and Tyne, seeking inspiration for a sonnet or two, The school headmaster always enjoyed a Oh dear! That’s the end of my business perchanced across an ancient inn. drink and he was one of my regular I thought. (‘Ye Olde Haydene’ in ye hamlet o’ customers. Barring the Chief of Police. Haydene ) Oh dear! Then there was John Crozier who had Seeking to slake his thirst, the bearded the franchise for Sunday papers up the Fortunately by the next day everything traveller crossed the threshold and North Tyne. was settled amicably. called for the purveyor of the ale; He lived on Ratcliffe Road in the old The policeman returned to the pub, a pleasant young fellow Black Bull pub. Ralph gave him a whisky or two and sporting a tanned complexion not John was like a son to Ralph, they went they became good friends. normally seen in these parts, he hadst everywhere together, fishing, hunting returned but a day, from a sojourn to the and shooting Even one of our best friends and our famed Palaces-de-Housey best customer was barred after he was by the Levante-de-Mediterraneo. And there was the village policeman. blamed for creating a bit of a A really nice young chap called Bill, disturbance in the lounge, after having “A quart of your finest ale young man.” who enjoyed a drink after time.” too much to drink. That was Herman Summoned Will-de-Stratforde. Pesara. “Oh!! Is that right?” We had a good laugh about it the next “Alas, I fear I am unable to serve you day of course, when Herman was this day.” “Yes, of course. That was one of the allowed back into the Haydon, and we Lamented the keeper of the fine things that surprised us about Haydon remained good friends even after we barleycorn. Bridge. left Haydon Bridge. Everyone seemed to want to drink after “Pray tell young fellow, why dash myne time. We had a bungalow built at Rowlands hopes in so wretched a manner ?” Even the customers from the ‘Club Gill and Herman travelled from across the street would arrive at my pub Haydon Bridge every week to do our “For thou art Bard kind sir.” ten minutes before closing time and garden. He was a grand chap. expect to drink into the early hours. I wonder how Herman’s family are getting on?” COVER STORY It was never like that at Killingworth. Do you recognise the building on our It was much stricter there, and a shorter Less than two years after moving in, front cover this month? working day for the publican I might Edna and Ralph Maddison sold the It has been demolished in recent weeks add. Haydon Hotel for £11,000 and left to but pitched roof dormers above the hay There were times when I wanted an move into their new bungalow. loft are a sign of quality and prosperity. early night when we were at Haydon For the first time, the licensing trade Perhaps the inscription on the stone Bridge but I couldn’t get customers out. was not a part of Edna’s family life. lintel over the front doorway of the And I could hardly call for the Law could I? “I wonder how much it’s worth now. Not when the village Bobby was in the A bit more than £11,000 I suppose?” Bar!” As I left Edna at her home in Occasionally, drinkers were asked to Newcastle, we spoke about the leave. changes in pub life over the last 40 years. “My husband was too quick to ‘bar’ my customers for assumed misdemeanours. When we got round to the CORRESPONDENCE Government’s recent proposals for Sometimes he would come back to the flexible or 24 hour opening, Edna’s From : The Haydon Bridge Nature Club. Haydon late on a Saturday night, after reply was immediate and to the point. To : The Editors of the Haydon News. his own work, and if I was in the pub Date : 15th May 2005 alone with male customers he was never very happy. “Well, based on my experience, that’ll Just to let you know that the advertising not make much difference in Haydon in the Haydon News has brought in a One night it happened that my late Bridge will it!!” few more walkers. So thank you for customer was a top policeman from the that. Northumberland Force, I think his ——— Pauline Nichols.

HAYDON NEWS Page 5 It is always a pleasure to welcome William Veitch as a guest contributor. This month William recalls ‘BYGONE DAYS AT CHESTERWOOD’

In 1828 Chesterwood was described as Chesterwood Grange on the 9th May increased appreciably after 1891 as my a hamlet in Lipwood Township. 1902 aged 78 years which suggests father told me that in the early part of the that the family had lived at last century he was one of 28 children (there were 9 Townships in days gone Chesterwood for more that 250 years. who set out each day from Chesterwood by - Brokenheugh , Deanraw, Elrington, They were usually referred to as to school. Haydon Bridge North Side, Haydon ‘living on their own means’ which is Bridge South Side, Langley, Lipwood, wealthy but not telling! The principal names at Chesterwood Morallee and Whinnetley). over the centuries have been Eshton, In 1851 the population of Chesterwood Benson, Brown, Charlton, Clemitson, It is recorded as Chesterwada as long was 74 with 25 of them being 14 years Pigg, Dickinson, Lowrey, Nevin, Kent, ago as the late 12th Century. Hodgson, old or younger. Patterson and London. in his ‘History of Northumberland’ Not surprisingly 12 of the adults were states that in 1365 A.D. it was a hamlet agricultural labourers but what is more In 1915 Chesterwood was the home of in the Barony of Langley. surprising is that 7 were employed in Haydon Bridge Golf Club (yes, one did It was also said, at that time, to be a the iron ore industry, with several of exist). The existing Peel House was the collection of 4 Peel Houses. them being iron ore miners who Club House and the course was on Mr possibly worked at nearby Standalone Henderson’s land. One of the members It is a possibility that Chesterwood is and in the employ of the Haydon (possibly the President) was one Mr older than Haydon Bridge though it is Bridge Iron Works which had been Maling of the Newcastle Pottery firm, unlikely to be older than Haydon or the established in 1843 by Coultas who then lived at Chesterwood Grange. original church would probably have Dodsworth and were later owned by The Grange was also, for a period, the been at Chesterwood. William Benson of Allerwash. home of the Haydon Hunt. - Will it The ironworks were situated in survive the current ridiculous laws? In his ‘History of Haydon Bridge’ ‘Heslop’s’ Yard (before that it was the William Lee states that Chesterwood Blacksmith’s Shop) and which has Chesterwood today is a very different was, in the most part, Peel Houses which been the subject of much controversy place from what it was - even in my are irregularly built on a freestone rock in recent times. youth. Houses have disappeared, been with grey slates on the roof which are modernised and new ones constructed. Incidentally, does the footpath from A prime example is that there is one pinned down with sheep shanks -- and most are in a dilapidated condition. Only Chesterwood to Standalone still exist house that, a 100 years ago, my one Peel House survived to modern as it was probably the route used by grandfather and his family inhabited rent times. the iron miners (it was also a good free for 6 months on condition that he source of hazelnuts as I recall) also the ‘did it up’. Its recent value was quoted as The height of the doors in these footpath from Chesterwood to The being in excess of £100,000! dwellings was only 5 feet 5 inches (1.65 Tofts? Although Chesterwood has changed metres) and they were only 2 feet 3 By 1871 the population of inches (0.7 metres) wide - there must considerably from the 4 Peel Houses of Chesterwood had reduced to 52 of old it still retains its aspect as a hamlet in have been many a bruise when which 20 were aged 14 years or negotiating these doorways although the beautiful rural countryside of South younger. They were living in 12 Tynedale (touch of nostalgia here!). people were smaller than today. separate households.

There were 3 farmers of which the William Veitch In the past Chesterwood has been owned largest was John Dickinson with 280 by, among others, the Ridleys, Nevilles acres. Strangely, there were only 2 and Blacketts but, oddly, never by the agricultural labourers but there were Greenwich Estates who owned most of HAYDON BRIDGE NATURE 10 lead miners (it probably paid GROUP the district at one time. more!) and these included 13 year old Thursday evening walks William Kent. There were also two ———— The first mentions of Chesterwood in the female ‘outdoor workers’ aged 55 and Haydon Parish Register are: 7th July 2005 45 years respectively (such was life in Woodhall (a) The burial of Elizabeth, the wife of those days). William Dickinson and John Henderson on the 5th January 1655 meet Church Street 6.30pm his son Matthew were cartwrights and 3 miles (b) The baptism of William the son of Jane Gibson was a dressmaker. Alexander Barrow on the 19th August Further information from Alan Howard Tel. 684524 1655. By 1891 the population had remained (c) The marriage of Richard Atkinson ———— more or less stable at 55 of which 14 21st June 2005 and Mabel Eshton on the 10th June were under 14 years old. There were 1658. Whitley Chapel -Devils Water now 5 agricultural labourers and no 3 miles - GR 928578 iron workers but there were still 8 lead The Eshtons and Hendersons were still 6.45 pm miners who, presumably, worked at Further information from living at Chesterwood well into the either the Honeycrook Mine or 1800’s. The last of the Eshtons would Ann Nicholson Settlingstones. Tel.684639 probably be Ann who died at The size of families must have Page 6 HAYDON NEWS HAYDON BRIDGE CRICKET TULA’S TRAVELS FIXTURES 2005/06 (Chapter One) In line for titles in both first and second divisions until the final day of last Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world season, both our teams got off to winning starts this season. I have always been curious and Delhi (how easy is that?). Why not pay a visit to Haydon Park and fascinated with the country of India, On arrival I remember getting off the support our cricketers this summer. and decided earlier last year that I plane and thinking My God is the whole would finally throw caution to the world and his dog in the airport? I had wind and go. never seen so much human traffic in my Officials entire life. President: W. Foster I mentioned it to my daughter Jane, Chairman: R.C. Corbett who is a born nomad and has We scanned the horizon looking for my Secretary: J.R. Oliver journeyed to many wonderful places, daughter Jane and her partner Mickey (01434 68433) her father Roy and I had always who had been travelling and were in Match Secretary: B. Hope wanted to travel to India. India to meet us. (01434 684845) Sadly we would not make this journey Suddenly a banner appeared and in bold Captain 1st X1: G. Pigg together but my passion to see the letters it read: Captain 2nd X1: J.R. Oliver country remained and in February THOMPSON TOURS NAMASTA 2005, I set off accompanied by my son Remaining Fixtures David and his girlfriend Melanie. In other words, First Team ‘welcome Mam to India’. The hairdressing shop was taken care of by Heather and Margy who between After many hugs and kisses we were them also fostered my dog, Lash. whisked off to our hotel which was (Bless them) situated in the Pahar Ganj (near New Delhi railway station). I remember Jane The day of departure arrived and after saying to me as the taxi drove up; a heavy night in one of the local pubs I “Mam, are you ready for this?” was feeling a little bit delicate to say the least. However with rucksack As I stepped out into the street I thought packed, which I might add contained my eyes were playing tricks, because very little, mostly medication everywhere you looked there were cows, (I believe in travelling light), I closed flea bitten dogs and people sleeping the door on 17 Ratcliffe Rd, not anywhere. Little did I know that this knowing what the next five weeks had scene would be repeated a hundred times Remaining Fixtures in store. over come morning. Second Team Our flight was on time and for once As I climbed into my bed in a strange there were no problems checking in, country I could not contain my we just had time to have a quick coffee excitement and apprehension as to what before boarding and setting off on our lay ahead for us all in the next five adventures. weeks. In two simple words: We flew from Newcastle to Charles UTTER CHAOS De-Gaulle in Paris and then on to (to be continued.)

SYLVIA’S POETS’ CORNER

Hello readers! There hasn’t been a poetry page recently because I have been indisposed so to speak, but thankfully I am now up and running again. There will be a full page of poems next month but we start (or try to start!) again HAYDON BRIDGE WOMEN’S with one true life ditty by Clare Nicoll INSTITUTE Meetings held at Haydon Bridge So many times the car has failed The garage man looks deep inside Community Centre To start, there’s something wrong. The workings of the car Its engine sneezes, snorts and groans ‘I have to say,’ in mournful tones, ALL ARE WELCOME And sings a death knell song. ‘Its travelled just too far.’ ON THE THIRD TUESDAY OF EVERY MONTH AT 7.30pm ‘Oh bugger me, I cannot tell The knacker’s yard is on the cards What causes this infection? For this trusty old jalopy. 19th July 2005 Take it to the garage, please To lose a motor of this age So they can make inspection.’ Is such a catas-trophy?

HAYDON NEWS Page 7 Dr. Steve Ford’s Page

WE’RE ALL GOING ON A Redisorganisation. New evening classes for men. SUMMER HOLIDAY…

At a recent introductory meeting with I am delighted to report that these the new chief non-exec of the Care classes, mentioned last month, have been Trust – at least I think that is his title – very heavily over subscribed. the man began his talk with a quotation Anglicans au poivre or Jesuits en from Gaius Petronius Arbiter (died I would like to extend an invitation to croute. AD66): readers to send in additional topics for Anthropophagy has been the stuff of the classes and, for balance, some topics adventure novels and films for a very "We trained hard … but it seemed that for parallel classes for women too. All long time. Flanders and Swan even every time we were beginning to form those legal, half-decent and eye-catching wrote a song about it. Recent history up into teams we would be will be published. contains numerous rumours and reorganized. I was to learn later in life examples of human cannibalism and, for that we tend to meet any new situation those whose gastronomic inquisitiveness by reorganizing; and a wonderful A fair wind. extends to such lengths, I have heard it method it can be for creating the reported, that cooked human tastes much illusion of progress while producing like cooked pig, hence the term ‘long confusion, inefficiency, and Joseph Pujol (1857-1945), aka Le pig’ said to be used by some cannibals to demoralization." Petomane, was a star performer at the refer to humans on the menu. Moulin Rouge in Paris in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. None in the room could dissent from His fame derived from his ability to The limitations of the out of hours this sentiment. The bad news is that imitate sounds and play tunes by farting. service are being addressed and changes Gaius Petronius Arbiter, whose are afoot. Nonetheless, those of us who Satyricon is the basis for Fellini’s film His discovery of his talents almost live in rural areas can feel disadvantaged of the same name, was a notoriously exactly coincided with his premature with respect to access to services. profligate voluptuary who said nothing demise. Whilst swimming underwater in of the sort. The earliest reference that the sea he became aware that he was A patient who was obliged to go to scholars can find to the quotation is, in taking on extra ballast in the form of Newcastle over a weekend made this fact, 1970 and research suggests that it seawater flooding in by the stern door point recently. The hospital doctor who may have arisen from British soldiers unbidden. One can imagine the sinking saw him, when taxed on the access issue, in post war Germany, bemoaning their feeling he experienced. Back in barracks replied to the effect that – Well, you live circumstances. he found he could demonstrate his new- ‘out in the sticks’, what can you expect? found talents by hoovering water out of basins whilst sitting in them. Do they think we still eat the The good news is that the Care Trust missionaries out here? appears to be back on an even keel All this information and much more be- Can’t speak for Haltwhistle, of course… financially, though that is tempered by sides is to be found in a little book re- the disclosure to me by another cently reviewed in the British Medical Sparsely populated areas cannot sustain functionary that this stability has been Journal. ‘Who Cut the Cheese – a cul- an ‘all services’ hospital unfortunately achieved by one who is known to be tural history of the fart’ by Jim Dawson. and that does mean both patients and ‘brutally dynamic’. ISBN 1-58008-100-1. doctors have to adapt to circumstances. There is objective evidence that the The average fart consists of 59% nitro- results obtained by large units are The first benefit that comes in the gen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, technically superior to those of small wake of all the changes for this 7% methane and 4% oxygen – a colour- units but this is small comfort when the practice is that we may have secured less, odourless and inflammable (with a time and money involved in getting to some extra health visitor hours. A bluish flame) mixture. Less than 1% of hospital is considered. detailed analysis of her workload has the ingredients are responsible for any shown that the funding provided odour. The smell has been timed as trav- In the future, many of the services hitherto has been insufficient to cover elling at ten feet per second. delivered in hospital will be delivered in the basic legal minimum requirement general practice instead and the advance for her duties. The new funding covers Fermenting complex sugars, such as are of technology will assist this. In fact, in two thirds of the deficiency. found in plant materials, are the key a decade or two, general practice may culprits. well resemble a small hospital – et voila! There must be a better way! – the local hospital is reinvented. It may be polite to hang on to the gas but problems will arise if it cannot escape.

Page 8 HAYDON NEWS The lower bowel is not well suited to YOU WOULDN’T WANT IT TO BE help unexpectedly and then we’d be containing gas under pressure. YOU - WOULD YOU? pleased to help but we’d know nothing about you and you would have had a If, for whatever reason, you cannot period of time with no continuing care. Wasting money . keep your appointment then please PLEASE let us know as soon as possi- If you are living locally, but are ble, so that someone else can have registered elsewhere, we would be In today’s post were three returned your slot. It’s your tax money that’s delighted to welcome you to the referral letters for patients who had been being wasted and your service that is practice. If you know someone, sent a hospital appointment and failed to being damaged. perhaps an elderly person who cannot attend – and that’s just one day’s post. look after themselves properly, who is That’s several thousand pounds straight Lost souls . not registered, please extend an down the pan, not to mention the extra invitation to them to consider delay caused to others who would be Every so often we encounter someone registering. We would like all those in only too willing to take their places and who has lived in the village for years the practice area to be properly provided the time we spent writing the letters but who has remained registered with a for – its what we’re here for. when we could have been seeing doctor in some very distant place. someone else. There is considerable overlap between local practices – we have patients in Steve Ford As many people have already noticed we Haltwhistle, Hexham, both Allen now have weekly counts of people who Valleys and Humshaugh and vice have failed to attend their appointments versa, but being registered with a at the health centre displayed in the doctor further off is not really wise. reception area. You never know when you’ll need

HAYDON BRIDGE Shaftoe Trust BYPASS. First School DRAFT ORDERS PUBLIC EXHIBITION. Summer Fair AT Saturday 9th. July 2005 HAYDON BRIDGE 10am—12 noon COMMUNITY

Please come along and CENTRE ON support us There will be plenty of THURSDAY 30TH JUNE 6pm-9pm

stalls including cakes, FRIDAY 1ST JULY 10am-8pm raffle, tombola, coconut shy, beat the goalie, bran SATURDAY 2ND JULY 10am-2pm

tub and many more. Staff from the Highways Agency will We look forward to seeing be available at these sessions to answer your questions and hear your you there . views.

HAYDON NEWS Page 9 CHURCHES WORKING TOGETHER JULY 2005

CHURCH PAGE

CLERGY MESSAGE

from Judith Hampson

WHO AND WHERE Most people will be looking forward to a The names and phone numbers of the Clergy who minister in Haydon Bridge holiday. This year my long break has involved moving house, office and job. At Rev Judith Hampson, The Vicarage, Station Yard 684307 present I am in limbo, neither visitor nor part of the furniture. As I become Rev David Hasson, with the Methodist Congregation accustomed to times and places I shall Wesley Manse, Moor View, Haltwhistle 320051 probably need another break away from the Father Leo Pyle , with St John’s Catholic Church domestic front. A holiday gives a break from St John’s Presbytery, North Bank 684265 the routine. It allows families time to relax and enjoy some freedom. Truly a time for the clotted cream but it is so good to be harmony. For some it will be about as back. The milk and papers had been harmonious as lambing in a snowstorm. cancelled the house is still standing. Experience of holidays often includes the Once back in familiar surroundings usual worries over cancelling the milk and things get back to normal. As ever, some papers whilst loading suitcases that need a will live in harmony but for others the forklift to carry them. Traffic jams help car storms will return. Perhaps we should and occupants get hotter and hotter along take note that even God took one day of with tempers. Eventually fizzy cans and rest in seven. We should learn to step drivers explode. Road rage and lemonade back on a regular basis taking time to everywhere. A perfect start to two weeks of re-create our own world. Call a halt to shared bliss. the stress and strain. Take a day of holiday every week. Reclaim a weekly Beach or countryside each has its own holy day. special advantages. Sand flies are marginally less aggressive than midges just Lord we give thanks for times of like sangria is marginally less toxic than relaxation and recreation rocket fuel. At least we all smile for the Help us to forget our cares and worries colourful group photograph unless the mix for a time of ice cream, fizzy drinks and a ride on a Give us strength and resilience to take fishing boat has given everyone a delicate up our tasks with new vigour green complexion. Marvellous. May we have hope for the future Once the return journey is over it seems confident in your steadfast care. such a shame the mackerel was left next to

Page 10 HAYDON NEWS METHODIST CHURCH ST CUTHBERT’S CHURCH BELTINGHAM/HENSHAW SERVICES SERVICES CHURCH SERVICES

Sunday 3 July Sunday 3 July Sunday 3 July

10.00am AAW 10.30am All Age Worship 10.30am All Age Worship at Trinity Methodist, Hexham Mr John Carr Mr John Carr 6.00pm Evening Worship Mr Bod Cooper Sunday 10 July Sunday 10 July

Sunday 10 July 10.30am Deanery Service 10.30am Deanery Service Hexham Hexham 10.00am Family Srervice

Mrs Joyce Short 6.00pm Evening Worship Sunday 17 July Sunday 17 July Rev David Macdonald 8.00am Holy Communion 8.00am Holy Communion Sunday 17 July Rev Judtih Hampson Rev Judtih Hampson 10.30am Holy Communion 10.30am Holy Communion 10.00am Morning Worship Rev Judith Hampson Rev Judith Hampson Mr David Stabler 6.00pm Evening Worship Sunday 24 July Sunday 24 July Mr Mark Knowles 10.30am Morning Prayer 10.30am Morning Prayer Sunday 24 July Mr John Carr Mr John Carr

10.00am Holy Communion Sunday 31 July Sunday 31 July Rev David Hasson 6.00pm Evening Worship 10.15am Joint Holy Communion 10.15am Joint Holy Communion Mr John Carrick Rev Judith Hampson Rev Judith Hampson

Sunday 31 July Sunday 7 August Sunday 7 August 10.00am Morning Worship LA 10.30am All Age Worship 10.30am All Age Worship 6.00pm Evening Worship Mr John Carr Mr John Carr Fr Leo Pyle

Sunday 7 August 10.00am Morning Worship Mr D Campbell 6.00pm Evening Worship HAYDON OLD CHURCH Rev David Hasson or Christian Aid Week Summer Celebration at Haydon Old Church SUNDAY 7 August A most sincere thanks to 6.00pm United Service all the collectors who Rev Judith Hampson gave their time to do the house-to-house collection and all those who gave so ST JOHN OF BEVERLEY generously. CHURCH SERVICES

Mass each Sunday at 9.30am Total

Mass each Sunday at 11.00am at Haltwhistle £1672.20.

Mass on weekdays(except Mondays) Thank you for your great at 10.00am effort. either at St John’s or at Haltwhistle

HAYDON NEWS Page 11 VILLAGE PROJECT ?

HAYDON BRIDGE WIND FARM A REALITY

In the previous edition of this Planning permission would not be Residents would be requested to empty periodical’s Dr. Steve Ford Page, required as the location is on the road these regularly. the good doctor proposed that verge. Haydon Bridge would benefit Ground cost maintenance would be The problem of blade generated noise economically by the installation of a minimal as the residents already enjoy had also been considered. wind farm development. cutting this grassed area. Residents would not be subjected to levels higher than 150 decibels and ear The Haydon News has been informed of Initially, three units are envisaged to protection would be freely available. a feasibility study which has been give a cluster, with visual intrusion to undertaken as a result of this suggestion. residents limited to only one or two Any stress symptoms evident would be This has provided a very positive case properties. addressed by The Haydon Bridge Health for the wind farm to be commissioned Centre’s new 24/7 class (for men only) and we understand that adoption is The photograph below, from the ‘Wind Noise Anxiety and You!’ forthcoming at the next meeting of le Vent report, shows how the Haydon Parish Council. cluster will appear. Each unit would cost around £1 million and could be Carbon neutral in 60 years. A French consulting engineer, Jean le In an interview with the Haydon News Funding arrangements have already been Vent, has undertaken the work. the Frenchman explained that opinion approved with an increase in the Parish M. le Vent explained the requirements on the farm was sought from village precept of £277.77 per month per were initially for a suitable location residents and groups. household. where it was very windy throughout the Of 900 questionnaires the study issued, year and close to existing high voltage the 3 returned were nearly all in power lines to make the required favour. connection to the National Grid. M. le Vent’s final comments were that Concern had been expressed by the ‘…£277.77 est grande valeur, mes petits The location of choice is the centre of Haydon Bridge Nature Club over the amis. Bientôt, nous sommes, how you Heugh House Lane above the village. problem of birds. say ‘breaking wind’ in Heugh House This would have the added advantage of It was confirmed that this would not be Lane’. direct road access to the site for pouring a difficulty as large containers would of the 200 tons of concrete required for be located beneath the towers to each base foundation. collect their remains.

Since news of Jean le Vent’s report came to our attention, the editors of your news letter have done some digging and we understand that construction work for the project is likely to commence on the 1st April 2006 .

Page 12 HAYDON NEWS