Congratulations Gorge Yourselves ME72 at Decompression contestants! CAl;ORNIA TECH IVolume XCIII, Number 10 Pasadena, California December 6, 1991 Food Service Survey by Celene Chang wanted more Chinese food such as bok choy and beef chow mien but A food survey was recently con­ some students preferred more non­ ducted in theundergraduatehouses. exotic main entrees. On the other The students were given forms to hand, some students wanted less fill in to express their opinions on greasy foods, less rice and less sea­ the new food service,Total Food food. Management. The survey was di­ Many students shared the same vided into two sections. The first opinion that the salad bar needed section required the studentstorate improvements.Theitemsin the salad the various aspects ofthe food ser­ bar were not consistent and some­ vice. In the second section, the times spoiled. Someofthefood was students were able to give some of also old especially the canned fruits their personal opinions. The re­ and cottage cheese. The food was sults of this survey have now been also too greasy overall, especially at processed. lunch. Too many fried foods were A total oftwo hundred and forty being served. The food was con­ eight forms were returned. This stantly running out. At dinner, there represented aboutforty five percent shouldbe largerportionson the table. ofthe formsgivenout. LloydHouse The plates only served one to two had the greatestresponsewithsixty servings.These were hardly enough seven forms returned. Thestudents for six students on the table and the students had towait aboutfive to ten rT~dQ..,Ii~:th ';;4 minutesfor thewaitersto bringmore x. '\IIeY\'t to .. food to the table. The s).lrvey also l>"~CI\~~~t showed that the students would like -.".fkt. to have alargervariety offood espe­ cially vegetables. Some students wanted more basic staples like Self-Defense Taught at Tech meatloaf, broiled chicken and beef by Christopher Dunn passive weapons, like sliming The Basics Course is normally & potatoes. Ethnic and unusual themselves with phlegm or loudly limited to fourteen students. The dishes were suggested to be only .Next ~erm the P.E. department describing the assailant's appear- limit was twenty-five this term and good to add variety. There should wIll agam offer. th~ popular self- ance. Many women learn to cope will be eighteen next term. defensecoursewIthI~tructorsfrom withtheweightofalargemanlying Impact offers other courses sea- the Impact Fo~ndatlon.., on them. sonally in the L.A. area, including ~ur~ ~"'t'" "W\~ 1: The IS nearly Identlcal to During a simulation students on Advanced Basics, Multiple Assail- ~t beH~lIt Iml.'act sBaslcsCoursefor~omen, the sidelines yell cues: "Eyes!", ant, Weapons Defense, and a Part- c.o" \d whichcoststhegen~ralpublic$400 ~~ cl,f~fe~t "Instep!", "Groin!" Years later, ners' Course. seemed to be fairly satisfied with ..\\ to $450 per person m the L.A. ar~a women subconsciously hear these Children (age 7 to 12) can take a the food overall. The weighted av­ t"'i"'S ~e'l ~"c1. and hundreds more elsewh~re. I~ IS cheers when they lose their cogni- coursewithlimitedphysicalcontact, erage of the responses to the dif­ free to the C~ltech commumty,wIth tive abilities in attacks. and their parents attend the first ferent categories ranged from av­ .,.... prefer~nce gIVen to unde~graduates. The cheering also contributes to session. erage to good. The appearance of "'W'~ :Unlike th~ regular BasICS Course, the cohesion of the group, which Teenagers can take a course the food had the lowest weighted thIS course 111 not for women only. similar to the adult Basics Course average, while the friendliness of '/...... \ \ .,c.. •• / Impact usually separates men from ...Students on the butwithdifferentconfrontationsand the house waiters had the highest '--0 'M women becaus.e o~t~e tendency for sidelines yell cues: verbal techniques. weighted average. It also seemed .: ..:." .... \ ~:) wome.n to be mhlblted by the ag- Impact also olves seminars for that lunch was better than dinner gr~s~IVeI!ess 0 f the men, bu t th.e "Eyes'." "Instep'." corporations, andIT programs have overall. ~} tralmng IS useful to ~oth. Expen- "Groin!" Years later, been tailored for uncommon needs. The items thatthe studentswould ence at campuses like UC Santa To protect wives, Impact will like to remove were mostly veg­ SantaB.ar~~rahas~emo.nstratedthe women... subcon- accept a married man only with a etables and yellow squash was on always be a choice between a 'nor­ compatlbilityofumvefSltystude~ts. ciously hear these recommendation from a graduate the top of the list. There was an mal' and an 'unusual' entree. The ~owever, an Impact repre~ntatlve h . tt k or counsellor and then only if his overwhelming support for pizzato students also complained that there hmted that. the genders rm~t be C eers...m a ac s. wife has taken the course. be added. Fresh fruits and vegetar­ was too much starch at dinner and segreg.ated IftOO ma?ymensIgn up. becomes obvious when, at the be- Anyone interested can call ian meals were also requested by that dinners were especially bad on As If the e!1thuslasm and se~- ginningandendofaseriesofsimu- (818)997-3306orl-800-345-KICK some students. There were many Friday nights. Some students be­ confiden~e ~f ItS ~raduates weren t lations, participants lock arms in a for information and for an invita- other suggestions including the ad­ lieved that for the price that they e?ough Justlficatlon, Impact pro- ring,hearsomeencouragingwords, tion to a graduation. Students can dition ofpancakes at lunch. Some were paying the food could be much vldes pag~s of anecdotes to pr~)Ve and stomp three times screaming sign up at the gym as for any other students wanted to see that more better or the food costs should be the effectIveness of th.e tralmng. "No! No! No!" Often, the security P.E. course. Asian dishes to be served. These lowered. The students were also One .of t!Ie volu!1teer mst~ctors, ofthe group enables participants to The Impact Foundation makes included tofu, tempuraand teriyaki. concerned with the hygiene of the who IS Said to be m the martIal arts talk candidly about painful experi- no profit and most ofits instructors Cappuccino, bottle water and in­ place. They believed that bare feet hall of fame and t? ~ave been !he ences. are volu~teers. stant soup were also mentioned to should not be allowed in the kitchen youngest to reach JUJItsu, had tned r------....:::.=...:..:..:.=:;:.:.:.:=~-----­ be added. area. to create his own self-defense pro­ Chocolate chip cookies and sea­ The chief aim ofthis food survey gram for women before coming to food were the two main items that was to improve the food at Caltech. Impact. Caltech Radio Club the students wanted to see more The responses were greatly appreci­ "Martial arts wasn't working for often. Ice creamand ice creambars ated and hopefully actions for im­ women," so he looked for an alter­ clubs via shortwave, VHF, UHF, remained popular. Some students provements will soon follow. native. At fIrst he wasskeptical that by Celene Chang SHFand amateur satellites etc. The anything could be accomplished in TheCaltechAmateurRadio Club club has also communications with eight 3-hour sessions, but he found was established by Professor the SpaceShuttle. Postcards are sent something in Impact that no other Sorenson and a group ofstudents in back from stations that the club has program provides: "fear and 1918. It is now one of the oldest made contact with, and these have Glee Club Holiday adrenaline". amateur radio club on the West been posted outside the club room. One ofthe unusual features ofthe coast. The club is now situated on The club has a repeater that is Impact training is the simulated thefirst flooroftheWinnettStudent connected to the emergency gen­ Concert Saturday combat with a "mock assailant" CenterinClub Room One. The club erator of the Pasadena Police. The entombed in thick, impenetrable has been operating station W6UE repeater is powerful and its signals Caltech's Men's and Women's Glee Clubswill be padding. The simulations, unset­ since 1960. There are now about 65 can reach underground. In case of performing their annual holiday concert at Dabney f. ~ tling to observers, inculcate certain members in the club, of which 15 emergency, the station can provide Lounge today and Saturday. Tickets to the concert, . ~.' '. reflexive reactions during what the are undergraduates and graduates. communicationswithincampus and which starts at 8:00 pm, are $5 for Caltech students '.' ". instructors call the "adrenaline Most of the members are alumni also with otherstates as well. There and $7 for general admission. " state". Students learntokickharder and JPL personnel. The club is in is also a computerpackageterminal The concert, among other things, will include a as they progress, and the instruc­ fact managed by the alumni and the in the club for as another means of performance by the combined Glee Clubs of tors, all ofwhomhave gonethrough funds needed to maintain the club communication. B~ch's masterp~ece, the 1723Magnificat. Th~ piece rigorous training, try to respond to comes from donations and dues. The club participates incompeti­ ~ ,. WIll be sung WIth full orchestral accompamment; the counter-attacks realistically. tions. Last weekend, there was a There are new antennas installed ,~, . the work, moreover, will be performed in a baroque Aftergraduating from the program, on top of Winnett Student Center amateur radio competition. In forty . ,,' -' tuning for which A =415 Hz, as opposed to the women unfortunate enough to need and Keith Spalding Building to eight hours, the club had to make as f. modem tuning ofA =440 Hz. The orchestra will their training have been known to provide better communication. many contactsas possiblewithother . also comprise some periodpieces from the baroque hospitalize would-be rapists with­ Some of the equipment in the club amateurradio stations inthe U.S.A. era. out clearly remembering details of is made by the members and gen­ and in Canada - there were some In additiontothe otherwq,kstobeperformedby the struggle. erally the equipment is fIxed and states that were more difficult to the combined Glee Clubs, which include familiar Although the defensive maneu­ maintained by the members them­ make contactwith.Anotherform of '6o.ngs-oftfie holiday season, the Caltech Chamber vers work, the emphasis oftheBa­ selves. The members also experi­ competition that is even more ex­ Singers will also perform. sics Course is psychological. The ment with the antennas so that they citing is mountain topping. As the Come attend the Glee Clubs' Holiday Concert freedom to retaliate forcefully can build newer and better ones. name suggests, the competition for a musical interlude this holiday season. against the mock assailants helps Themainactivity ofthe club is to takes place on a mountain top. Each women to overcome their aversion provide two-way communications competitor or station will have to to violence. They are taught to use withU;S. and foreign amateurradio See Radio Club page 6 2 December 6, 1991 The California Tech many highly questionable things, Editorial Jon Liljeblad butI am writing simp~noint out thatthereare twO"sides tothisstory. letters-- It is the time of the year when once again the decorations and presenls .'one where Dave was a mischie­ I~-~------are brought out in ample supply, when the winds blow cold in t~e vous prankster, and one where he -rs cation that execution was God's crystalline nights with the early winter around the Christmas lights aI!d Clock Repa. will, rather than that which was street-stands. The school is coming to a brief respite before the next tWo truly hurt another student. warranted by the facts. As Mr. terms, and the students are readying themselves for the holidays. To whom it may concern, Liljeblad points out, "the There are the urgent pitches from the season's sales and frantic pacing Varoujan Gorjian Lastweekend'swindstormmade prosecutor's statement was unnec­ of the shopping sprees hurried before the final weeks before Christmas. quite a mess ofthecampus,butonly essary and may have easily biased There are the calls for warmth, forgiveness, and reaffirmation ofkindness Sexual Harassment one item is of concern to me. The the jury". However, the statement in the "holiday spirit." All around are the images ofgenerosity, kindness, powerful winds tore poor Dear Dr. Albee: was much more than unnecessary; and joy. We are writingto youbecausewe Woodstock from his perch on the it was so blatantly inflammatory But so too are there ones of depression, darkness, and despair. clock on Kellogg. I would return are greatly concerned about some and unconstitutional that even Walkingthrough Old TownPasadena will bringyou across the homeless of the contents and implications of him to his rightful place if only I strikingitfrom the record could not wandering between the holiday crowds, eyes glazed in their distant stare could find him. If someone has the Caltech policy on sexual ha­ have erased the indelible mark it as they search for spare change orthe rare extracigarette. Driving through rassment (and your accompanying found him, please bring him to the may have had onthejury. Theright the city brings images of individuals sitting alone by the window. Fleming House lounge and place letter), which you recently sent out to a fair trial demanded that a mis­ Watching the news brings stories of people left out by the rush of the him on the mantle above the fire­ to all graduate students. trial be declared. season. place. I will look for him there. I Themostobjectionablestatement I strongly disagree with Mr. But ifonly you could see them you would se~ from their faces is contained in your letter, which is appreciate your help as he is very Liljeblad'sstatementthattheruling There were kings and queens followed byprmces andprmcesses labor intensive to duplicate. a reference to a new regulation: "indicated that any religious refer­ There were future powerpeople throwing love to the loveless ''Teaching assistants should not at­ ence was...grounds for dismissal." Shining a light because they wanted it seen. tempt to date a studentintheirclass, Fansome Security Inc. Rather, theruling simply stated that It is a Judeo-Christian holiday originally intended for a reaffirmation of maker offine clocks and should disqualify themselves inthecontextofthisparticularcase belief, happiness, and optimism. Yet somehow one need only look around from teaching a section in which a the prosecutor's statement was im­ to see the gaps in the spirit ofthe holidays. It is a paradoxical time-one of spouse or current partner is en­ Bible vs_ State? proper enough to warrant a mistrial celebration that callsfor reflection and reevaluation'yet does not acceptthe rolled.''' Since when does the Dear Editors: (which is not necessarily the same sorrows and confusion that are only all to often brought to the fore. ,Caltech administration have the I read withdismayJonLiljeblad's as dismissal). To use this as a legal And there were cries ofwhy followed by cries o/why not? right to set dating policy for the editorial regarding the declaration precedent, the circumstancesofthe Can I reach out to you ifthat feels good to me? .students? Whtl.e we agree that it ofa mistrial in a murder case dueto case must be nearly similar, which And so thus one comes to realize that while the population makes every may be unwise for a T.A. to date theprosecutor'scitationoftheBible. wouldseem tomakeitsapplicability effort to evoke the proper "holiday spirit," there are those who are unable one ofhis or her students, this does Though I agreewithMr. Liljeblad's rather small. to bring themselves to the spirit ofthe times, caught as they too often are notgive Caltechthe right to intrude statement that in most criminal I also do not agree with Mi. by regrets for seasons past and insecurities of season~ to come. Tr.apped in the private lives of· TAs. In cases the striking of certain state­ Liljeblad's statement that the trial in loneliness and sobered melancholy, these people fmd themselves m a addition, if such a regulation is in ments from the record is enough to was a "futile exercise in technicali­ tunnel with little light. They can be and are the homeless family down the place, then clearly a similar regula­ guarantee a fair trial, I believe that ties." Is Mr. Liljeblad actually as­ alley, the emigre with no friends or family, the person next door with no tion fprbidding faculty to date stu­ the case under consideration is serting that the Bill of Rights is a place to go. They are the ones overwhelmed by the world around them, the dents in their class should be insti­ special for several reasons. technicality? Should the Constitu­ ones unable to cope, and ultimately, the ones in despair. .. tuted, to avoid a double standard. First, the sentence was the death tion protectMr. Liljebladmorethan In a way, it is discouraging. You start to comprehend the fUhhty of Regardless, the objective of the penalty. Our society has correctly it does an accused man whose life people struggling in the world around them. regulation is presumably to avoid placed severe restrictions on the hangs in the balance? Rather, this And so the question becomes, as always, one of what to do. situations in which(a) a TA at­ administration ofthe death penalty case was a reaffmnation of our What in the nineties can make you feel good? Comin atcha like a tempts to use his/her position of to ensure that those put to death are country'sbeliefin the separation of hurricane would authority in order to pressure a stu­ actually guilty and have received a church and state and the right to a Stand bymeI'llalways bebyyourside, giveyou love that will be right. dent to date him/her (a situation fair trial according to their Fifth, fair trial. Hopefully it will force It is impossible for anyone to try to correct all the ills around us. It is already covered by federal guide­ Sixth, and Fourteenth Amendment prosecutorsthroughout the country hopeless to attempt to solve all the issues we encounter. linesagainstsexual harassment), or rights. The death penalty is special to think carefully before trampling But there is a proverb that goes, "...the fortress is built stone by stone." (b) a TA gives preferential treat­ in that oncecarriedout, itcannever the line dividing church and state For all the talk ofthe meaning ofChristmas and the holidays, I suppose ment to a student in hislher class be reversed or commuted. simply to make a point. Me. that one message deserves reacquaintance: changing the world begins by whom he/she is dating (which is a Second, the statements were not Uljeblad's argument, though emo­ becoming a part of the lives of people around us-by doing everythi~g clear violation of the honor code, justprejudicial; they were blatantly tionallycharged,wouldneverstand within out efforts to help, influence, or support those we meet on a dally andshouldbedealtwithinthesame unconstitutional. By quoting the up in a court oflaw, and thankfully basis. As individuals we can deal on a human level with those who need manner as every other honor code Bible, the prosecutor as represen­ in Pennsylvania it didn't. aid acting in ways subtle or obviously clear. Helping out the homeless violation). We submit that since tative Qf the state, violated the Sincerely, feliow on the street, becoming acquainted with the new arrival in the principle of separation of church DavidA. Edwards department, saying hello to the neighbor with no f~mily or friends. THE CAUFORNIA TECH and state. This principle, oneofthe Mail Code 217-50 Andso 1'1l give my love to you, give you everythmg Volume XCIII- Number 10 very tenets on which our country To make life wonderful, to make the worldpeaceful was founded, is so important that it Goldberg 1'1l drown allyour sorrows in a future love paradise. December 6, 1991 was included in the very first con­ Seal EDITORS stitutional amendment. Free prac­ Revisited "Future Love Paradise" Andy Crews tice of religion in this country is Somehow, I suppose, it's important to remember that sometimes it's the Delwyn Gilmore guaranteed by the fact that no rep­ Dear editors, little things that count. We could try to take on the all the problems ofthe Jon Liljeblad resentative of the state officially I amwriting this lettertoeventhe world get caught in the struggle over issues, rise in the fervor ofa cause. cites any religious doctrine during scales a little concerning the letter Butfdr the moment, the season calls for something on a personal level, for CRIME BEAT" PHOTO EDITOR the course of his/her duties. youpublished aboutDaveGoldberg the contact between people during a time of year when some friendship RajanRanga Lastly and most importantly, the earlier. The letter omitted several would be invaluable. WRITERS prosecutor's quotation, "And the importantpoints concerninghisbe­ With all the lights and decor.ations, parties and dinners, I suppose ~he Jim Caron murderer shall be put to death," havior. He was initially put on "holiday spirit," whatever it is, could justas easily be furthered by shanng Celene Chang inextricably binds the above two probation in part because he was the emotions of this time with people around us. Gavin Claypool Chrisopher Dunn issues together. By using the Bible harassinganotherstudent.Hewould And so this is Christmas once again. As Capra once had an angel Nick Pomsinsirirak as a reference, he made the impli- flip heroffinclassandintentionally say:"The wealth of a man is measure by the number of his friends." Pete Rogan Happy holidays everybody. John White r ~~¥ ~ ~~~~~~ ~~~ AndyZug bump into her 'Yliile going in and Davenor to try and getinto a pUblic COLUMN WRITERS out ofclass. Also my friend had a shouting match, it is only meant as ZackBerger i LORENZO'S BARBER SHOP I hearing problem and Dave would an informative tool. Information Maneesh Sahani sometimes stand outside her room being something very scarce in this Unisex Hairstyling Caltec~str:~~nr~~count! BUSINESS MANAGER I I and, loudly enough for her to hear, incident as in otherTech incidents. $onny Arcilla I Regular Cut (men) $ goo $1 off I make deaf jokes. Now this only Many took the position of"the en­ covers the first paragraph of the emy of my enemy is my friend," CIRCULATION I Regular Cut (women) $ goo $1 off I -John Grade initial letter, thus leaving many in- where the administration were the Jennifer Wright I Style Cut $12°° $2 off I cidentswithonlyonepointofview. bad guys and, since Dave was I Permanent Wave $4000 $5 off I Of the other incidents I have no againstthem, hemusthavebeenthe THE CALIFORNIA TECH information. goodguy.Thisletterisnotmeantto Caltech • 40-58 SAC I 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Monday-Saturday (818) 795-5443 I, The reasons that I am writing be in support ofthe administration 1201 East California Boulevard now are not to exact revenge upon eithersinceI believetheyhavedone Pasadena, California 91125 L~~~~~':'~~~~:~ ....~~~~:~~~~J (81'8) 356-6154 Published weekly except during ex­ amination and vacation periods by MANDARIN CmSINE FRIDAY NIGHT AsCIT MOVIE Associated Students ofthe California Institute of Technology, Inc. The AND SEAFOOD opinions expressed herein are strictly diose ofthe authors. . LUNCH SPECIAL Letters and announcements are wel­ C~oice of 13 entrees 425 come. All contributions should in­ 11.30 a.m.-3 p.m. from clude the author's name and phone number and the intended date ofpub­ EARLY BIRD DINNER SPECIAL lication. The editors reserve the right to abridge and edit all submissions for Choose from 13 items 575 literacy, expediency, oranythingelse. 3-7 p.m. DAILY ONLY Tum in copy ~referably on Macin­ tosh 3.5 inch disk) to the Tech .mail­ CLASSIC DINNERS box outside SAC room 40. The dead­ Two-StarAward Winner Sunday-Thursday 3-10 p.m. line for copy is Wednesday at noon; by the Southern California Friday-Saturday 3-10:30 p.m. for announcements, Tuesday at 5 PM. Restaurants Association Between l!/tiJ.dena Dr. & Sierra Madre Blvd. The California Tech is distributed free. Issues will be mailed off-campus upon 2475 EAST COLORADO BLVD., PASADENA receipt ofSl0 per year to cover third-class FOR RESERVATIONS: (818) 449-8018 postage and preparation costs. Baxter Lecture Hall at 7:30 and 10:00 Printed byNews·Type Service, Glendale. Open 7 Days. Cocktail Lounge • Food To Go Orders Welcome - Free Parking in Rear $1.50 for ASCIT $2.00 for non-ASCIT ISSN 0008-1582 The California Tech December 6, 1991 3 I letters Turkey and Top 40 these cases are already covered by sexual favors, or when persistent committment by the Caltech com­ The death ofa sense begins with bass, a huge elephant lumbering its existingregulations,nofurther ones unwantedsexualadvances aremade munity in this post-centennial year the inability to make small distinc­ away along the bottom ofthe staff, are necessary. If a TA is dating a to a student) and not try to establish to "reachfor the stars" whenwe set tions. I bathedin thecoolingwaters remains to be heard. Whenhe's not member ofhislherclass and yetcan itself as a blanket arbitrator of mo­ forth ourgoals for the future bothin of Thanksgiving dinner, and what doing that he watches TV. Some­ remain objective and does not en­ rality at Caltech. the scientific and social fields. frightened me was this: after long times he does both at once. gage in sexual harassment, it is no There has been a disturbing and Sincerely, weeks ofstaring into the lunchtime Nowacross from meisa guy who business ofCaltech's. Pre-emptive growing authoritarian trend in the' Gilbert Tom Hom soup cauldron and being unable to plays music I have no immediate laws like this are repressive and actions of the administration of 2304 Hagen Dr. identify what stared back up at me, dislike for-the only trouble is the unacceptable in a free society. It is Caltech in the last few years, of Alhambra, CA 91803 I was no longer capable of identi­ frequency with which he plays it. tantamount to forbidding people to which this policy is merely the lat­ (818) 449-7620 fying good food when I tasted it. Rush's new album is a work of art, drink: alcohol because of the possi­ estinstance. Although itmay seem Indeed, days before true Thanks­ I suppose, and therefore one must bility that they might drive drunk. to be only a minor infringement of Ed. Reply: giving dinner, at the TFM Feast, be able to glean from each playing In addition, we feel that the defi­ personalfreedom, itis nevertheless Quite frankly, I was deeply of­ this trend first manifested itself­ the fmest nuances ofinterpretation nition of sexual harassment given a step in the wrong direction. fended and incensed by Mr. Hom's far into a huge mouthful of dairy and meaning-the most subtle dif­ in the pamphlet is so vague that it Yours truly, letter this week. topping which graced my piece of ferences in tone and color. But could encompass almost any be­ Mike Vanier Mr. Hom, you evidently perceive pumpkin pie, I realized that I no that's exactly the point. When even havior of even remotely sexual me to be a white racistpigfrom the longerknewthedifferencebetween Bach'sMass in B Minor (to display character that a student finds ob­ Hom on Racism deep South. Cool Whipand real whippedcream. my obvious musical biases) is jectionable. The federal guidelines On the contrary, recent consulta­ I had to ask someone else which it played time and again, one stops caring. It's not the music itself are fairly explicit, with the excep­ Dear Editors, tion with mymotherhasproven that was. Eating mashed potatoes and tion of paragraph 3, but the inter­ I would like to comment on Jon I am a 100% Burmese student who stuffing on the Thursday afterward which levels all sounds and differ­ pretation given in the pamphlet in­ Iiljeblad'sreply to a letterbyAaron has grown up in various places I had to stop and think: Is this good ences in sound--it's the treatment cludes such items as : "Obscene Matzner in the November 22 issue aroundthe world. I haveunclesand food which I'm eating? Reliable that is given to music. When music posters, cartoons, drawings, or of the paper. More specifically, I cousins (through marriages) who sources informed me that it was. I is treatedasmerely anothermedium, computer screens ". obscene ges­ wantto commenton the term "non­ are Sikh, Shiite, Jewish, Buddhist, have become acclimated to food another form of information-the tures, conversations, and verbal white species" which he uses in his Gurkha, Shan, Chinese. I have whichclaimsno identity, hailsfrom only difference being the type of descriptions ... sexual innuendos, reply. I don't know whether Jon is grandparents(notactually byblood, no clime, and admits no family. icon it is given on a window-driven verbal sexual abuse disguised as awareofthefact thatthe"scientific" long story) who are Norwegian, You'd think that upon eating real computer desktop--it can be slot­ humor ..." These provisions are so basis ofracist ideology is the belief German, Swedish, Burmese (by food I would becometransported to ted into a CD changer and left to vague that they could conceivably in the existence of a "white homo blood), and Indian. I am de[mitely realms of expansive joy and leap blast away for hours on end. When result in accusations of sexual ha­ sapiens species" separate from a NOTwhite, andI doNOTthinkthat about the dining room in sheer ec­ more importance is given to the rassment for such things as telling "non-whitehomo sapiensspecies." I have an "insensitive opinion of stasy. Rather, my diet now seems transmission, the broadcast of the dirty jokes, cursing, putting up a . In the absence ofscientific proofof non-white America. " Ifanything, I an exercise in sameness--with the sound than to the sound itself, the Playboy calendar in one's office, that existence, one must conclude consider myselfas having a decent TFM food coating my taste buds in latter is relegated to secondary im­ etc. In effect, this policy gives the that all homo sapiens belong to one grasp of non-white America, as I a deadening layer of detritus. portance. (This I fully expect to administration the right to censor common race, the human race. clearly am one. I also consider Ifyou now took me to a luxurious corroborate when, early Monday our conyersations, gestures, and There is no doubt that the human myselfashavingsomegraspofhow restaurant, one of the fmest in the morning, the corridors thunder to even what we put on our computer race has been divided into number itis betterpossiblefor ethnicgroups land, only by the fme china and Wagner's Ri#e:j screens in the name of preventing of categories based on social, eco­ to unite (rather than yell at each linen tablecloths would I be able to Occasionally, however, comes sexual harassment. Note that in the nomic, religious, geographical, etc. other and start shooting). orient myself culinarily. the Coke with the right amount of -'Thesense ofhearing deteriorates above-mentioned provisions there differences. Andskinpigmentation Andforgive for losingmytemper, syrup; real music is listened to and isno mention ofan individualbeing hasplayednominorrole in dividing but WHO THE HELL ARE YOUto apace. I amnotgoingdeaf; butfine one remembers why all that fancy unfairly treated or discriminated American society. It is my belief saythatIhavea "prejudiced" opin­ gradations in absolute aesthetic equipment is used in the first place. against for sex-related reasons (in that differences do not have to lead ion?!?! I was the one kicked out of quality of sound find it easier to Tonight, for instance, wethrew into contrast to the federal guidelines). to divisions. an all-white town in Louisiana, I escape me. I liveinBlackerHouse, a spool a few armfuls ofleaves and An individual could easily claim While I don'tknowJon Iiljeblad .was the one who was literally spit Heaven alley. There is a guy in the plywood. We stood back and let it sexual harassment simply because well enough to place labels on him, on and beaten up by a bunch of room next to ours who continually bum. It let off billOWing white helshe was offended by a poster in his. use of the term "non-white white boys inDuncanville, Texas, I flips among the best of L.A.'s Top smoke, and eventually burned with someone else's office or by a pic­ species" shows that he posesses a was the one who was told by some 40 stations, which I can't tell apart. a striking flame which made it a ture on someone else's computer prejudiced and insensitive under­ hick that "There's too many damn Maybe he can. It comes to mind bright yellow flower in a strong screen, whichisclearlynot acaseof standing ofnon-white America. chinks in American colleges. " I am thatyou'renotsupposedtotell them wind. Satisfied with my senses, sexual harassment. We are not I would like to propose to both the one who by all rights should be apart, and that the attraction for satisfied that I wasn't turning into a trying to belittle the extremely im­ Jon andthe Caltechcommunitythat carrying on an anti-white crusade, advertisers on Top 40 stations is lump excited by the prospect of portant issue ofsexual harassment, a forum be set up to discuss pre­ BUT I REFUSE TO LOWER MY­ that the only distinguishing charac­ TFM and thrilled by the Top 40's or to suggest that the policy be dis­ venting diveristy from dividing so­ SELF to this level. For you to say teristics are their ads. He plays latest, I went to bed. carded. We simply ask that the ciety. I think that it would be very thatI am ofthisprejudicedcrowdis them at very high volumes, where Zaei8~r policy statement restrict itself to healthy and beneficial to continue a slap in the face. Mr. Hom, do not the treble disappears and only the true sexual harassment (i.e. when last year's dialouge on diversity on see a e4 one individualisusinghislherposi­ campus and bring together Jon's tion of influence to try to extract point ofview. I would like to see a r------, ! HIGH TECH !! ! --h.~ Ii) Wfi ~ 4 SUN TUNG LOX*RESTAURANT ~nJu,~' 3 Master Chef Specialities ! D.E.C: MICROVAX®II ! . " DIM SUM, SZECHUAUN, CANTONESE, SEAFOOD I I Dim Sum Lunch COMPLETE Computer System!!: Daily 11 am-3 pm OFF!with Caltech ID 120% I OPEN Lunch or Dinner Dine-In or Take-Out Includes:\T~ icense 7 DAYS 400 S. ARROYO PARKWAY llAM-llPM Between California and Del Mar (multi-users) & DECNET® 584-6719 FREE PARKING (Full Function NETWORKING) & [ VISA) 584-6720 • INPASADENA ~ INN LOT R~~Journaling Software \T~S\rersion LAEMMLE THEATRES & 5.4 Software & 16 ~ega Bytes ~emory (R.A.~.) !!! ESQUIRE COLORADO : Plus: LOTS OF EXTRAS* I 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. 2588 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 793·6149 (818) 796-9704 :* And Tape Drives & Disk Memory (500 Mega Bytes) : I & Lots of D.E.C~monitors& printers & cables & I I connectors & extra parts & acessories included. I Paper 'My Girl I I // ; I HURRY " THIS IS BETTER than a new CAR! and Better I ~M·ask Monday-Friday 5:00. 7:15. 9:30p.m. I •• than any number ofpersonal computers! I • Saturday 12:30.2:45.5:00. ".9:30p.m. Sunday 12:30, 2:45, 5:00. 7:15. 9:30p.m. I I Price: $12,000.00 o.b.o. Daily 5:30, 7:45, 10:00p.m. .. Sneak Preview Saturday, 7:16 p.m. I. I Sat-Sun Matinees 1:00,3:15 p.m. The Prince ofTides L Call FRANK (213) 257-3738 Monday - Saturday, 8 A.M. - 8 P.M. I ------~ 4 December 6, 1991 The California Tech Zeitgeist 3: Essay on the Theme I_~:---;------:--~Ie---:-t-:-:-te--.-r-:--s-:--- _ Cosmology, Astronomy an

This Week's~waswritten by: Dabney: Karen Bruner & Bo Adler Dabney2: Momo Jeng, Mike Benedetti, Chris Du Puis Dabney3: Stephen Thompson Dabney4: Alf Mikula Fleming: John White 1st Blacker 0 0 2 0 1 0 0 0 3 Dabney 0 0 5 0 0 3 2 2 12 Fleming 3 1 3 0 2 4 3 1 17 Lloyd 1 3 1 0 4 1 1 0 11 Page 0 0 4 1 0 5 0 0 10 Ricketts 4 2 0 0 0 2 0 0 8 Ruddock 2 4 0 0 3 0 0 0 9 any help.'" But Buttman is already gone. Back in the Buttmobile, he is on the phone to his roommate, the onlypersonwhoknows his real identity. "Kurt, I'mafraid the Compulsive Punster is on the loose again. You're going to need to Late one night in Dabney City, a shadowy getthe earplugs ready. 1'11 beintheButtcave figure emerges from a back alley, Alley 7, in 5 minutes." his cape spreading behind him. No one else "Yes, sir. I'll be waiting." can be seen, because he has chosen his path Deep under Dabney City, the Buttmobile well, to avoid all passers-by, and the low­ roars into the Buttcave. life know enough to keep out of his way "Do you know how the Punster escaped?" when he has been summoned. And every­ asks Kurt. one knows he has been summoned when ,"The Hannaman busted him out and sent they see the giant buttocks projected on the him after me. He's sure to have some new clouds in the sky. tricks, not to mention some horrible puns, "Buttman, thank you for coming," says up his sleeve this time." Commissioner Adler, his summoner. "Definitely. Here are your earplugs. Do "No thanks necessary. 1am only doing my you need anything else?" duty, Commissioner," Buttman replies. "No, I think th~t's it for now. The only thing "What is the problem this time?" we can do here is wait and monitor all "I'm afraid it's really serious this time. The broadcasts for news ofpeople being driven Hannaman has broken the Compulsive insane by a masked man telling horrible Punster out of jail and sent him out to get puns." you. He'salready driven halfa dozen people "I'll get right on it." insane." It is a slow news day in Dabney City, but "This is serious. The Compulsive Punster isn'tit always? Two hours later, Kurt walks was almost impossible to capture the first up to Buttman. time. Andhe'sprobablylearned a few tricks "Sir, onfChannel 5..." in the slammer." "Hold on, dammit. I've locked myself in "Maybe not. They put him in solitary con­ my handcuffs again, and I can't find the finement when he started telling so many key." horrible puns that he started driving other "Here it is, sir, on the desk, right under your prisoners crazy. They couldn't have told nose."

him that much." ./ .... "Oh. Oh, yeah. Thanks. You were saying?" "Still, he'svery dangerohs." Buttmanlooks "On Channel 5, there's a report of a NeXT offihto1he'sky for a moment. "I'll get right labslave suddenly going crazy." on it, Commissioner." "But don't all NeXT labslaves eventually "Good. Be sure to let me know ifyou need go crazy? Look at Carlos." BDecember 6, 1991 The California Tech Inside World continued from page A missioner Adler to get another one from him. "Sit next to me, Yun." "No, sit next to was on vacation!" Jorgensen, Yun stands up and volunteers to me." But Buttman knC}ws he has his man; oops, I fetch one. "Girls, girls, calm down. I only have two mean frosh, and he slaps his handy-dandy He races out ofGates into the steam tunnels sides,"hesays, notnoticingthe cauliflower­ handcuffs, procured at the Pleasure Chest, and down into the Buttcave, where he headed frosh sitting in the row behind him. on the dastardly devil. changes in to Buttman. He,zooms back to SteveTaylorbegins his lecture, telling some "Nice work, Buttman. I knew you'd catch Gates, and runs up to his housemate, jokes that make Yun suspect he might have him," congratulates Commissioner Adler. Jonathan Weinstein, better known as the found the Punster. But the jokes are funny, "No problem, Commissioner. Just make Compulsive Punster. andYun realizeshe mustcontinuehissearch. sure he stays locked up this time, and that "So, I've found you again, Punster," he Asthe bigStevelecturesonabout structures your men put on ear plugs." And with that, says. and linked lists, Yun hears a voice behind Buttman is gone. "No, no, you have the wrong punnyman, I him. Fiveminuteslater,Yun returns to the lecture, mean funnyman. I'm more mild-mannered "Boy, this class is really structured. Unfor­ carrying an overhead projector. than Yun! Y'know Yun; he's really mild. I tunately, it's not linked to anything else I "Thank you, Yun, but you missed all the was in my room when all that farting e-mail have to learn." excitement while you were gone," says was sent!" Yun's eyebrow goes up. Steve. "Buttman captured the Compulsive "How did you know they were farting Meanwhile, Steve asks a question about Punster right here, in my lecture." messages, huh, Punster?"countersButtman. pointers. . "Well, I guess it's my fate to lead a mild­ "But,but, Buttman, you justhave to believe "Gee, that's a tough one," says the VOIce mannered life," sighs Yun, and he takes his me! You can ask Rob Hanna. We were behindYun. "IthinkI'llI have to null itover seat again, as Steve starts talking about worshipping Bullwinkle, I mean, we were some." The Mythical_Man_Month_. shipping Bullwinkle videos to all of our Yun realizes he has his man, but he has to Stay tuned, Buttfans, for another exciting friends." think of a way to get out of the room so he episode as he continueshis battle against the "You *must* bethe Punster! I'mtaking you can change to his alter ego. notoriousHannaman. Samebutt-paper, next in." Then Steve realizes he's forgotten his butt-term. "No, no, here's my excuse oflast resort: I overheadprojector. Before he can ask Com- PLEASURE ENGINEERING

PIE .9 abc. Remedial Pleasure Engi­ neering. 9 units (4-0-5); first, second, third terms. Included for those students who managed to graduate from high school without ever kissing, necking, engaging in 00 You know, onMonday morning I woke up foreplay, etc. Also includes all topics cov­ to find a pink-and-flesh-colored blur had ered by PIE 1 abc. Instructor: staff. been slipped under my door. Knowing that PIE 1 abc. Introduction to Pleasure En­ the blur would identify itself upon closer gineering. 9 units (4-0-5); first, second, inspection, I inspected it more closely. It third terms. An introductory coverage of wasas I hadsuspected. So Ibeganto ponder interpersonal sexual skills, including coitus the meaning of this event. My reasoning and the various sexual positions, fellatio, went something like this: "Well, ifthe tooth cunnilingus, and masturbation. The focus fairy visits you when you lose your teeth, of the course will be on pleasuring the the pornography fairy must visit when partner in all exercises. Prior experience you've lost your pornography. But I never recommended but not required. Instructor: had any pornography. Ah, but then there's Mikula. Rob. He burned the raunch library. In a o PIE 3. Fundamental Techniques of Ex­ ~3 'f5 67 sense, he lost it. And he used to live in this perimental Pleasure Engineering. 6 units ALL EY NU.MJH~R room. Therefore, thepornographyfairy must (0-6-0); first, second, thirdterms. Introduces have been paying a visit to Rob because he the basicprinciples andtechniques ofsexual lost Dabney'spornography!" It's a mystery intercourse and develops the skill and pre­ to me. ForallI know, maybethepornography cision which are fundamental to experi­ fairy visits when you're not getting laid. mental pleasure engineering. Enrollment The world may never know. Thanks, por­ first term will be limited to students who nography fairy, wherever you are. Now, on have gained advanced placement into PIE with the real inside world: 41 or PIE 21, or by permission of the in­ On the advice of a few of my colleagues, structor. Graded pass/fail. Instructor: the following is a suggestion for a series of Cesarotti. courses at Caltech. The format is the same PIE 4 abo Introduction to Masturbation. as that which would appear in the catalog. 9 units (3-3-3); first, second terms. An Suggestionsfor moreundergraduatecourses, introduction to masturbation of both the as well as graduate-level courses, are wel­ male and female anatomy. Topics for dis­ come. cussion will include embarrassing stains, fantasy, pornography, and mutual mastur- continued page C The California Tech Inside World December 6, 1991C Dabney2 from page B trous Oxide, ethanol, and LSD. Instructors: PIE/Bi 20 abc. Prophylactic Theory. 9 bation. Instructor: Fu. Mikula, Scheer, staff. units (3-0-6); first, second, third terms. In­ PIE 5. Introduction to Odd Sex. 6 units PIE/ME 9 abc. Mechanically-Enhanced cludes practical recognition and treatment (3-0-3); first, second, third terms. An intro­ Sexual Experiences. 9 units (3-3-3); first, . of venereal diseases, responsible decision­ duction to the forms of sexual experience second, third terms. Focus on mechanical makingconcerningtheuseofprophylactics, which are considered to be odd or deviant devices used to enhance the sexual experi- and practical use of such devices. Instruc­ accordingto modernsexualmores. Includes ence, including vibrators, eggbeaters, tor: Moilanen. an in-depth study of the Odd Sex Rule. toasters, and other common household ap- PIE 21 abc. The Physical Description of Instructors: Stern, Lange. pliances. The lab portion ofthe course will Sexual Systems. 9 units (3-0-6); first, sec­ PIE6. IntroductiontoAutoerotism. 9units focus on the design and development of ond, third terms. Prerequisite: PIE 1 abc. (3-3-3); first, second, third terms. Mastur­ such devices, and discretionary use ofsuch Position, mood, location. Heterosexual, bation, autofellatio, autocunnulingus. Fo­ devices. Instructors: Soha, Runge. _ bisexual, and homosexual. Focus on the cus on autoerotism as a way ofdealing with PIE 10. Chemically and Mechanically ability to adequately describe occurrences the ratio and sexual frustration. Instructors: Hindered Sexual Intercourse. 9 units (3- ofsexual relations. Instructors: West, staff. Fu, staff. 0-6); first term only. Focus on wastedness PIE/PA 24 abo Vocality and Sexual Inter­ PIE 7 abo Dimensions of External Or­ and chastity devices. Instructors: Runge, course. 6 units (2-4-0); first, second terms. gasms. 6 units (3-0-3); second, third terms. Hanna, staff. Moans, groans, squeals, squeaks and An in-depth study of the controversy over PIE 11. Frontiers inBestiality. 6 units (2- screams. Focus on the art offaking orgasms external vs. internal orgasm inwomen. Part 4-0); first, second term. Includes a weekly as well as the added excitement of loud, a will focus on manual stimulation. Part b seminar from such distinguished speakers aurally-stimulatingsex. Includes distinction will focus on oral-genital intimacy. In­ as Pamela Abshire, Jeremy Gollub, Alf between screaming in pleasure and structors: Cesarotti, staff. Mikula, William Cesarotti, Truxton Fulton, screamingin pain. Instructors: Bichnevicius, PIE/Ch 8 abo Chemically-Enhanced and Anne West. The lab portion of this Tsai. Sexual Intercourse. 9 units (2-6-1); first, course includesfield trips to local farms and PIE 41 abc. Study of Human Valence. 9 second terms. A study of the benefits of a trip to the mountains to meet some of units (3-0-6); first, second, third terms. A chemical enhancementofsexual intercourse. California's infamous bears. Instructors: study ofinterpersonal bondingofthe human Chemicals studied will include THC, Ni- Soha, Arlo. species. Instructor: Hanna. 2 AM: Nothing happening in Ruddock, ei­ courtyard. Christmas lights are up. ther. Godot not sighted. 2:30 : Fleming courtyard vacant. 4AM: People in Ruddock talking and doing 2:31 : Four people in Dabney courtyard homework. In Dabney: Karen and Bo are (including one maintenance guy.) hot tubbing whilst Brad watches a movie 2:56 : Four people in business suits sighted and writes. in Throop park. Is there a connection 5 AM: Lloyd: Everyone is asleep. We found the White Album today. here? 6AM: Too early to be up. No sign ofGodot. 2:57 : Rubbed Millikan's nose. Top Ten Most Important Thin2s to do to 6:11 : Rich is reading in Dabney library. be a Darb 4:30 :A group leaves Dabney courtyard to 6:20 : Rich has mysteriously disappeared. go out for Thanksgiving dinner (note: 10. "Don't be polite, especially if you are 6:50 : Jon Lange eats soup. Asian." (ESL handout) this is December 2). 7:50 : Momo returns to Alley 4. 4:37 :Amparalyzedwithfear for 23 seconds 9. Learn to juggle. 7:54 : CZR finds some useful relationships 8. Hug a Flem. after seeing Bart Simpson's inEE. grisly remains. 7. Read T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land." 8:00 : B&G already hard at work clearing 6. Drop something. 6:04 :Dabney lounge rocked by news about the weekend's debris. Paul Wellstone. Also, Weekly World 5. Pay $12.50 a term. 8:09 :Daily paper arrives. Maybe something 4. Tie-dye your brain. News has arrived. is going on somewhere. 6: 14 : Dinner : rice n' leaves- 3. Increase your chemical awareness. 8:50 : Nothing happening in Lloyd. 2. Be apathetic. MMMMmmmm! 9:12 : Nothing much. 8:45 : Rich puts up Christmas lights, turn­ 1. Frolic in the autumn mist in a land called 9:43 : p moves in library. Honalee. ing Alley 6 into a psychedelic 9:46 : Alley 6 phone rings. Action at last! wonderland. Enough of this frivolity. Welcome to the 9:49 : Dabney library is evacuated. Time to Dabney Inside World. After reading the list 11:14 : Having a swingin' time over III move on. Lloyd above, you may be struck by a question ­ 9:50 : Those gooey palm berry things are 0 11:16 : Some people in Lloyd are playing who would want to live in Dabney, anyway? hosed from courtyard. _This question had occurred to others before, pool. 10:02 : Nobel laureate Murray Gell-Mann 11:17 : Page is loud. No fellatio sighted. and so it was decided that an ambitious has apparently not arrived. His parkin g project should be carried out - a Darb 11:17:01: Silly Flems. space remains vacant. Godot hasn't arrived 11:50: 46th housequote ofthe term goes up would record his laugh-packed, thrill-a­ yet, either. minute adventures in Dabney during atypical in library. 12:45 : Nothing happening in Lloyd. 11:52 : More nothing. day. The results are recorded below. (Ifyou 1:45 : Nothing happening in Dabney. are more interested in the surreal "Waiting 11:57 : "The Graduate" is being shown in 1:47 : Buttman ™ replenishes his energy the game room. for Godot" thing, skip the results and come with life-giving ramen. back to them later) 2:25 : Ricketts courtyard devoid of life. Ho.ur~ Well, there you have is folks. Become a 24• -in Dabney: To Hell and Back 2:26 : Many Scurves are lying on the floors with a brief stopover in Lester Prarie. Darb and you too can experience Jon Lange oftheir rooms, doing homework. eating breakfast or the unanswered ring ofa Minnesota 2:28: Badminton is being played in Blacker 12AM: Nothing. telephone. Okay, so nothing exciting hap- continued on page D Dnecember 6, 1991 The California Tech continued from page C It's 4:30 AM. climbed on rocks and saw funky trees.... pens at Dabney. Atleast you can listen in on -I hope he comes soon. Godotwillcome and -These are good cookies. Whatdi'lfyou say surreal/existentialconversationslikethe one everything will be okay. was in them? dramatized in Hey dude! Look at this! Varieties of Psy­ I want to do. something. Waiting intheAlley FourKitchenfor Godot chedelic Experience...Ithought I had all the -Let's go to Lloyd. -Is he here yet? literature...Wow! This was printed when it The horror. The horror. No, he isn't here yet. was still legal! -Nobody comes, nobody goes. Nothing -When is he coming? -We went to see Ollie North. We taunted happens, nothing changes. It's awful. He said he'd be here today, or maybe to­ him, and he signed our copy of The Vladimir morrow. Doonesbury Chronicles. Estragon -What time is it? You suck, man. We wenton a desert trip and Moma

Dear Mother,

Ijustdecided that I wouldwrite to letyou knowthat I'mdoingwell. Everything that I've been experiencing these past few months (my goodness, has it really been that long?) has been almost too intense to express in words. It's been everything that you, Father, and I had been hoping for. Remember that small, smelly, grungy place where I was living? Well, I moved out of Ruddock and into Fleming House less than a month after I got here. I guess that our credo here in Flemingis "clean, quiet living in a warm, supportive environment."· I really enjoy that. Probably the mostrespected person on campus, Mom (her real name is Jessica Nichols), lives here in Fleming. She's the one who makes sure that we're getting all ourwork done on time, that we're eating properly on the weekends, and that we don't distract ourselves from all the work at hand. One ofthe people that I live with is "Mad Dog." It's kind ofsad because no one really likes him. Maybe that's because he doesn't really do anything except play Sega Genesis, and steal furniture from people. I think that he's one ofthose unfortunate cases ofpeople who'sbodies outlive the usefulness oftheir minds. I'm not sure what that really means, but that's what Mom said. Ofcourse, Fleming isn't the only house on campus. I already told you about Ruddock, but small, dirty, and smelly really describes the two other north houses as well, Llllloyd and page-sux. Well, you remember the Rudds: they tend to just lie around, or "wallow in their filth," as Mom says. The Llllloydies are very secretive about what they do, but the other day, I snuck in and watched them doing....whatever you call it: they were spending lots of time clumping into groups and beating up on the other groups and each other. It was kind offunny to watch, but kind ofscary too. I think the people who live in page-sux house are a bunch of hicks from nowheresville. The other night, after I finished my homework for the term, I watched them "at play." They had hired a band that played both kinds ofthe music that they listen to (country and western), and were acting like they never outgrew playing cowboys and ... cowboys. Reminded them of home I guess. I really didn't want to live in the other "South" houses. Dabney house is just too uptight about house pride, sports, and all that. I mean, most of us like living in Fleming and all that stuff, but we don't all dress alike, exclude non-house members and do things like that. I mean, sometime I think that they spend all their time making fun of everybody else. It really bothers me how they insist on acting like jerks. I have trouble telling Ricketts House from Dabney. Someone tried to explain the difference to me and as near as I can tell, the Ricketts people wanted to live in Dabney, but couldn't get in, so they all live in Ricketts. When I asked a member there ifthat was true, she said, "No, no! Ricketts is uniquely flavored!" I didn't understand whatshe meant until Mom told me "Uniquely flavored like the food service!" I'm really glad I don't live in Blacker Hovse. There's so many women there that I'd IPRE-COMPRESSIONI probably be way to distracted from my work. I managed to get a blue slip (for outstanding work) in Chemistry. I'm getting an "E" is here III (Excellence). I'm going to meet Nate Lewis (the chemistry professor) for lunch today. Ice Cream and Toppings Mike Bott (he lives down the hall), and I are getting the highest scores in Chem 1, so he invited us. He told us that we should invite a few other house members ifthey could stop Soda and Juice in on his class. I hope that it doesn't get to boring. Movies in DolbfSurround Sound Well, gotta run and finish up some extra work I was doing. Take care!

(Winnett Lounge, 7 PM - 1 AM) Your devoted son, Sponsored by Caltech SEDS John Students for the Exploration and Development of Space, A.S.C.I.T., and the Caltech Y ...and special thanks to the Karate Club for letting us use the room. December 6, 19915 Movie Review: Star Trek VI Discovered In a splashy opening, the U.S.S. these scenes, where too often the by Gavin Claypool Excelsior encounters a subspace crew are playingbuffoons. Search­ "Logic!I'm sicktodeath oflogic!" shock wave caused by the explo­ ingthrough printedreferencebooks ~manda (Spock's mother) sion of a Klingon moon. The to fake the Klingon language while Klingons haughtily turn down sneaking through Klingon space? Soon, T-Bone brings down an­ Federation assistance, terming the This is the 23rd Century, folks! T-Bone Burnett other friend. His name is Jeff The Undiscovered Country is the sixth and perhaps [mal Star Trek shattering of a moon a mere "inci­ (Andwith a ship presumably full of Bridges. dent." The moon just happens to Klingon specialists for the diplo­ and Friends No, really, the actor from "The movie starring the seven primary members ofthe original TV series. produce a large percentage of the matic mission.) Chekov, playing by Pete Rogan Fisherking" and numerous other Empire's energy, and because of prosecutor with the uncovered flicks camedown toplaysomemusic Whileitdoesnot reach the dramatic heightsofTheWrath ofKhan, orthe their military build-up they can't magnetic boot, throws "if the shoe We're standing in line waiting for us. afford to replace the power sources fits, wear it" at a humanoid crew for the show to start. I see some guy Hesitsdownatthepiano,nervous good warm feelings generated by The Voyage Home, neither does it orrepairtheirdamagedozonelayer. member who doesn'twear them ­ walk by wearing cowboy boots, as hell- armpits dripping, andplays Sound familiar? at least not those designed for hu­ black jeans, a white shirt, and a a bitofajazzypiecefrom"Fabulous descend to thedoldrumsofthe other three films. CaptainKirk, despitehispersonal mans. brown vest. He's carrying a bottle Baker Boys". wishes, is ordered to escort the The Voyage Home used humor of mineral water. Mtergettingtiredofthat,Bridges In the uneven consensus script (screenplay by Nicholas Meyer & Klingonchancellor(DavidWarner) very successfully; the subsequent I say to mycompadreswithmuch leads the otherthree through a cool, and his party, which includes the fIlms unfortunately have tended sarcasm, "Canthisguyget anymore ethereal love song. His voice isn't Denny Martin Flynn, story by Leonard Nimoy and Lawrence Shakespeare-spouting General toward slapstick more. But there hip?" As hewalks by again, I seehe that great, but the music and words Chang(ChristopherPlummer), to a are funny bits ("Why are we here"? has a cigarette in the other hand ­ keep up with the rest of the pro­ Konner & Mark Rosenthal), the United Federation of Planets is peaceconferenceonEarth. Onroute, "Maybe they're throwing us a re­ yep, he's trying too hard. gram. the Klingon cruiser is attacked­ tirement party," is McCoy's sar­ Little did I know he would be Bridges leaves and T-Bone calls presented with an unexpected challenge: a peace overture from apparently by the Enterprise-and donic reply in his first scene.) And playing kick-ass slide guitar that onanotherfriend- Billy Swan. He's loses gravity control. Assassins in McCoy's reaction when Kirk gets night. He wasn't trying to be hip, it not a well known musician - an the Klingon Empire, stimulated by an ecological disaster that threatens magneticbootsbeamonboard, gun kissed by yet another alien woman just came naturally. older, one-hit wonder - but his down the hapless crew in zero-gee, should match the audience's. We were waiting to see a show harmony fits well withT-Bone, and to completely destroy the Empire within 50 years. The premise is and fatally wound the chancellor. Kirk is unsettlingly at first, with called T-BoneBurnettandFriends. the two have a great time together. m~ssy. tempting (and a necessary prelude Phasers have never been so his almost-paranoid distrust of the We knew T-Bone was a well know After more than an hour, T-Bone Kirk and Dr. McCoy beam over Klingons, buta pivotal personal log record producer/songwriter who andhis friendstakean intermission, forNextGeneration continuity),but the desire to make the film a parable to the Klingon vessel to investigate entry explains his reaction. (Why had worked with the likes ofElvis prepping for what promises to be a the matter, and when McCoy fails his feelings aren't clear in the last Costello and many others, but we great second set. for our times undermines its po­ tential. to save the chancellor's life, both two films, particularly the latter, is had no idea what kimJa music he Starfleet officers are arrested by left to the viewer's imagination.) played. For all I knew, he didn't The second set sees T-bone act­ Chang and taken to a Klingon court Other strange actions are harder to even have any albums ofhis own. ingmore as MCthan anything else. Thegoodnewsisthat theplanned to stand trial for the assassination. justify logically: while the Enter­ So, you could say we were He tells us how he challenged Jeff radio showis goingto happen soon. In the interests of promoting inter­ prise is being blown apart, instead counting on his friends to provide Bridgesto comedownagainand try On Christmas Eve from 8 - 10 pm, stellar law, the Federation allows oftake care ofcrew injuries that are the excitement. Besides, we prob­ a song on his own. local KCRWwillplaymusicculled the "show trial" to go on. The death presumablyoccurring, McCoygoes ably would'vejustspent themoney Bridges sits down, center-stage, from four seperate performances at penalty is commuted, and the hap­ offwith Spock to modify a photon on something like food or recre­ holding a ukelele, and plays a cool McCabe's. All across the country, less officers are sent to a remote torpedo for a desperate counter­ ational drugs - neither of which version of "On the Sunny Side of otherNationalPublicRadiostations mining colony on an ice world, for measure. Attempting to prevent compares to a solid evening of the Street" - quite a crowd pleaser. will air the same show. So, when the rest of their days. another assassination, Kirk and music. He sings the last halfto an infant in youheadhomefor Christmas,check Sound familiar? (Can you spell commandcrewbeamdownwithout We enter McCabe's to find our the front row who has chosen this with your local NPR affiliate for a "Gulag"?) a single security guard in tow. seats. We walkthrough the front of moment to start acting up a bit. date and time. Meanwhile, Spock, the Vulcan (Admittedly, maybe nobody else the guitar shop toward the back Next, T-Bone gives the stage to a Some surprises from the other Lt. Valeris (Kim Cattrall), and the could be trusted in these conspira­ room with150ofourclosestfriends. young, fairly unknown performer nights included a visit from Sam Enterprise try to rescue Kirk and torial times. Pragmatically, of A short time ago, this room was a namedJoe Henry. His contribution Phillips, T-Bone's wife, and a rare McCoy, uncover the assassins, and course, you've got to use the stars guitar show-room, nowit'sa make­ to the night is dark and powerful ­ acoustic set from the reunited Spi­ save the rescheduled peace confer­ has much as possible. And p'haps shift theatre. more good stuff. nal Tap. ence. ThefIlm suffers the mostwith At one end of the room sits the Too bad the active infant, who see Trek VI page 6 permanent stage that barely fits a Mom took for a walk after "Sunny four-man band. Who needs a full Side", belongs to Henry - the tike drum-set anyway? Besides, all the stayed up late to see Dad, but didn't music is acoustic and everyone can quite make it. hear the guitar player tapping his So, I was sitting there enjoying foot on stage. every minute, but still hoping for Pasadena Computer Center McCabe's is the bestplace I have some well-known musician to come ever seen a showin the LAarea; and down. That greedy guy inside was Office Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. it is the perfect place for this. searchingfora nameortwo to drop 1756 E. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena Phone: (818) 568-1088 FAX: (818) 568·9132 to myfriends. I admitit-I'm human. T-Bone comes out to start the T-Bonewent one stepfurther and show by chatting with the audience brought out a verifiable legend. T­ and making us all feel at home. He Bone introduced him as a good 386SX.25MHz, 40 MB HD and plays the first song, saying it's off friend who had just been inducted 286·16MHz, 40 MB HD and MULTISCAN SUPER VGA MULTISCAN SUPER VGA his album which is due out in a few into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame • 386SX.25MHz System • 1 MB RAM, up to 16 MB RAM months. earlier that week. • 1 MB RAM, up to 16 MB RAM • l.2 MB " 1.44 MB HI&h DeDJIty Floppy Drive • 1.2 MB " 1.44 MB Hlah Density Floppy Drive So, he does record himselfocca­ • 40 MB Hard DlIk, 28 IDa buUt·1n 32K Cadle • 40 MB Hard Disk, 28 ms buUMn 32K Cadle • Dual IDE FDIHD Controller Down walks Booker T Jones. • Dual IDE FDIHD Controller sionally. • AT 110: 2 SeriallParalleVGame porta The song is cool and the music • AT 110: 2 SeriaVParalleVGame ports • 8 Expansion Slots • 8 Expansion Slots sounds great. Pretty much what I Now, I don't personally know a • 101 Enhanced Keyboard, Real Time Clock " Calendar • Math Co-ProcelSOf Socket, Real Time Clock" Calendar would expectfrom T-Bone,without lot aboutBooker T. I have heard of • Math Co-ProccllOr Socket • Mini Tower Case with 2OQ.watt Power Supply • Mini Tower Ca,e with 2OO-watt Power Supply • 160BIt Super VGA Card wltb 512K RAM ever hearing more than a guest spot him often, and understand his stat­ • 160blt SuperVGA Card wltb 512K RAM • 14' Multi..... 1024 x 768 Super VGA Monitor, 0.28 mm doh • 14' Multiscan 1624" 768 Super VGA Monitor, 0.28mm doh or two at other people's shows. ure, but I am very ignorant ofhis SALE PRICE·························..- $1065,00 As he brings downtwomoreguys discography. It didn't matter when SALE PRICE·············..•..••..••••••• $875.00 to join him, T-Bone tells us that the I heardhim live - no one coulddeny show is being recorded for a radio his genius. Look At Our 386·25MHz, 85 MB HD and 6 REASONS WHY PEOPLE program. I can tell by his air that Booker T Customers From.." CHOOSE PASADENA UCLA MULTISCAN SUPER VGA That explains the funky mikes all is happy to be here. He has as much usc 'lMBRAM,upto16MBRAM COMPUTER CENTER over the stage and so many people respect for his audience as we have CALTECH • 1.2 MB " 1.44 MB Hlgb Density Floppy Drive JPL • 85 MB Hard Disk, 17 ms buUt·ln 3:K Cadle OVER THE OTHERS: in the sound room. for him. J>ARSONS • DuailDE FDIHD Controller His first two guests are Jerry His 4-song set is the hi-lite of the CITY OF LA • AT 110: 2 SeriaVParalleVGame porta 1: NAME BRAND COMPON~ night. Booker T's versions of early CITY OF HOPE • 8 Expansion Slots 2: UNBEATABLE PRlCES Douglas and Edgar Myers. I am COUNTY OF LA • Real Time Clock'" Calendar 3: ONE YEAR PARTS & LABOR disappointed - come on T-Bone, R&B standards put latter day po­ OCCIDENTAL COLLEGE • 101 Enhanced Keyboard WARRANTY bring out some folks I recognize. seurslike MichaelBolton to shame. AMBASSADOR COLLEGE • 80387 &: Weltek 3167 Co-Processor Socket 4: DIRBCT FROM.FAcrORY AME • Mini Tower Case with 2OO-watt Pow., Supply (NO MIDDLEMAN) But, I quickly realize these guys It appears difficult to follow up TICOR INSURANCE • 160blt Super VGA Card wltb 512K r.,\M 5: UFETIMI! TECHNICAL SUPPORT are damn good. Together with T­ Booker T's set of passionate Rock 11. ENTERPRISES • 14' Multiscan 1024 x 768 Super VGA Monitor, 0.28 mm doh 6: WI! ACCEPT CUSTOM DESIGN SUNBANK BLl!CTRONICS SALE PRICE····························· $1195.00 TO FIT YOUR NEEDS Bone, they make some awesome and negro spirituals, but T-Bone ANDMOR!! -music. has such control over the evening Douglas,the one who was too hip that the crowd welcomes him back 386-33MHz, 128K CACHE 486·33MHz, 256K CACHE outside, plays slide guitar, and eagerly. He proceeds to give up the 125 MB HD and MULTISCAN SUPER VGA Myers plays a stand-up bass. They stage once again- this time to '128KCache 212 MB HD and MULTISCAN SUPER VGA both seem comfortable in the music Douglas & Myers to display their , 4 MB RAM, up to 32MB RA..'\f on Board • Intel 80486 Processor with built-in 487 Math Co-Pr""essN many talents. • 1.2 MB " 1.44 MB H1ih Density Flop~y Drive • 256K eache RAM • they're just improvising along as • 125 MB " 17 ms buUt-ln 64K Cache • 4 MB RAM, up to 32 MB RAM on board T-Bone spits out his mix of To end the show, T-Bone leads , Dual IDE FDIHD Controller • 1.2 MB " 1.44 MB Hlib Density Floppy Drive the audience thru a rockin' version • AT 110: 2 SeriaVP",alleVGamo ports • 212 MB Hard Drive, 15 ms built-in 64K Cache humourous social commentary and • 8 Expansion Slots, :~eal Time Clock & Calendar • Dual IDE FDlllD Controller potent love songs. of a cheery Christmas tune - after • 101 Enhanced Key'ooard • 101 Enhanced Keyboard Now I see why everyone loves to all, this radio show is purported to • Middle Tower ease with 23o-watt Power Supply • AT 110: 2 Seria1/ParalleVGame ports • 80387 Co-Processor Socket • Full Tower ease with 25o-watt Power Supply workwith T-Bone. He's a masterof be a Christmas special. • 16-blt Super VGA Card with 1 MB RA..'\f , 16·bIt Super VGA Card wltb 1 MB RAM • 14' Multiscan 1024 x 768 Super VGA Monitor, 0.28 mm doh music as well as bitter wit. The crowd demands an encore , 14' Mums..... 1024 x 76' Super VGA MonItor, 0.28 mID doh SALE PRICE , $1595.00 (CTX 14' non-Interlaced) and is rewarded with a final 10 SALE PRICE····-······...... ----·..-·· $2295,00 Theatmosphereallowstheseguy~,,minutes ofT-Bone hamming it up 386-40MHz (same as above) •••••••••• $1695.00 to screw around on stage almost .a!> on stage. . casually as if).ttey were just sittin' All in all, the show p~ovlded 3 One Year Parts and Labor Warranty, Quality Minds Enhance Your Business. opo th~.mtck porch wastin' time. hours offun for the audlence and They never forget the audience is performers. Ourgamblepayedoff­ there, but they never let us get in the big time. way of their good time either. 6 December 6, 1991 The California Tech Water Polo Makes Splash at Championships

one-one~one, had the benefit of having Maddux Crime and Incident--Beat ByJohn White andNick had to face many or Security tip: Have a great winter va<;ation and don't drink and drive. sometimes two-on-one challenges. return from the dead as well as the Pornsinsirirak three person cheering section from 11/19 A person.reported tha.t sotlleone removed the coin receptacle Offense lacked communication from the PepSI-Cola machme located on the first floor of Ruddock which resulted in turnovers. De­ FlemingHouse,Oxystillcame away House. There was no evidence offorced entery. Value: $200 fense was good butnotgood enough with a clean face. The team started Early in the morning last Friday, 11/23 At11PMsomeonereported thatthedoorknobsofseveraldoors to keep up with the opponent's of­ outslow, alowing Oxy to pull away the Beavers travelled to Pomona­ in the Fleming House were removed. CP-2 was called in to make fense. The final score was 21-7 before picking up the scoring pace. Pitzer's new Olympic size pool de­ emergency repairs. termined to play the best polo of Whittier. Nick had 17 saves. Jim Thefinal score was 16-60xy. Nick had 12 blocks. Jim scored 3, Chris 11/24 There were several reports about loud noise coming from the their lives. Unluckily, the team had 2 goals. Chris and Grant each party at the Page House. The Pasadena police came over and talked had a piece. There was a suprise 2, and Tamaki 1. was at a disadvantage from the be­ with Kim West. They told security that everything was OK performance by the Hawaiian Hor­ Overall, we had anexcellent per­ ginning, withstarterTim"Sickdog" 11/25 Thevictim parked his vehicle onHill AvenorthofSan Pasqual Maddux out sick. The first game rors in the closing minutes: Ryan formance at the cha;npionship. Naone with 2 quick goals in the 4th Many coaches and r

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Vass 44:26 53:58 99:16 13 Phil Lovalenti 46:11 53:52 100:23 14 Jesse Clemente 44:04 57:13 102:03 15 Steve Matousek 52:31 51:15 104:10 16 Roy Smith ? ? 106:40 16 Ken Klewicki 44:05 61:56 106:40 18 Bob Bodenheimer 64:44 50:55 118:37 19 Nicole Peill 50:00 68:40 120:22 Relays: l>Q Place Names Total Run Total Bike FinalTime ~ 1 R. Steiger/ S. Sorensen 43:31 43:40 87:11 -S2 .D. Hansen! R. Robinson 43:23 49:34 92:57 ~ 3 A. Matzner/ A. Lin 35:52 57:40 93:32 '« 4 oS A. Crews/ J. Krowas/ D. Gilmore 42:28 51:08 93:36 <:l 5 M. Batchelder/ C. Kennedy ? ? 94:35 o 6 B. Zajac! P. Pich 44:42 54:30 99:12 ~7 E. Eckland! S. Fukuda 48:14 64:09 112:23 Ned Bowden had even less hair, at the end ofthe race, as he once again 8 S. Cullen! G. Brown! V. Garcia 50:21 67:34 117:45 wagered his body hair againstJohn Pham's. 9 F. Ebrahim! T. Richmond! C. Johns 67:54 50:24 118:18 Unofficial Results Homeboy Draws Big Turnout Top no-show: Ken Souza Runner-up no-show: Craig "Uyouwreck on your bike and even ifyou're bleeding and your arm is broken, you byAndyZug Matzner. Dan Flees, in his first biathlon, followed closely in third still have to finish. Oh, I twisted my ankle yesterday, I can't run." Reynolds Top compulsive gambler: Ned Bowden Two Saturdays ago under beau­ place. Disslywentonto set the pace tiful conditions, Caltech's own throughout the race with the fastest ChiefTransportation Administrator: Carol Johns Team Homeboy Official Baker-For-Life: Betsy Barton Team Homeboy staged its fIrst of­ bikeand run times ofany individual fIcial event of the year, a 5K run, Most Valuble Volunteer: Tie: Amy Hansen and Cathy Sauter competitor. As a result, he crushed Volunteer with best looking car: Scott Kister 30Kbike, 5KrjJn biathlon. Antici­ the field, beating second place fIn­ pation of the event had firmly isher Andy Zug by over four min­ grasped the campus in the preced­ utes. Coming in third was the infa­ .run's Journal ing week and had left many won­ mous alumnus John "Speedo Man" .I "elrecl To",,", "'ith VOle s"t lIlrouWl.cl H. "'..., ,t"ttl"', '~es~ jobs ~~ dering "Can it possibly live up to Phamwhoearned therighttoshave ~;, f"SIiMe -tod...'f. ..",

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