Vol. 109 | Issue NO.14| december 4th, 2018 Finishing the semester like a boss since 1910

Told You Those Trees Would Get LIT. PC: Robert Killam Last week of regular classes special holiday edition

HOW TO R REVIE ACC GR page 4 page 5 page 7 Where was Tity? Coveringsors Light toon

find us online! | website: thequill.ca | twitter: @thequillbu | Facebook: The quill | instagram: @buthequill Issue 14 | Volume 109 Ne w s 2 Up d at e Fr o m Th e Ed i t o r Robert Killam, Editor-in-Chief tuff happened. Somehow dent paper, it’s not like that posts throughout our social It’s been a good year and Swe managed. much exciting happens which media. We had some bilingual I’d really like to thank all the This is just a quick update people are willing to bring for- articles, some academic ad- hard working writers and pho- on “The Quill” here and how ward to our attention. vice articles, some reviews of togrpahers who have contrib- we have done this past semes- Review of this year: pretty books, some reviews of profes- uted to mkaing “The Quill” Staff ter. Fine, we’ve been fine. successful. We published one sors and most importantly we what is today. You are each a Editor-in-Chief What? What else do you paper a week for 14 straight will be having a sick Holiday true delight to work with! Robert Killam III want to know? We are a stu- weeks. We also made several Party come end of term. Happy Holidays! [email protected] Assistant Editor-in-Chief Th a t Re d No s e Th a t ’s So Br g h t Donnovan Hillman Donnovan Hillman, Reindeer Owner General Manager ith the holidays just bright red nose. However, the times the simplest answer is every single day. After getting Elinor Murray Waround the corner, question remains exactly as to the right one, and in this case a nose full of cranberry sauce [email protected] all sorts of Christmas stories why this is so. Now, there are that statement holds abun- Rudolph continuously fell on Web Content Coordinator and characters are back in the many explanations out there. dantly true. When Rudolph his nose, which in turn obvi- Emmanuel Madu Senior Reporter spotlight. Rudolph the red Even children know that Ru- was just a baby reindeer, play- ously transferred the cran- Alexandra Mackay nosed reindeer is no excep- dolph’s red nose guides Santa’s ing in the cold plains of the berry sauce directly into his Advice Column tion to this turn of events. sleigh through Christmas Eve north pole, he was quite clum- bloodstream. Now, there is [email protected] People from across the globe storms and lights a path to sy and one day tripped and fell no need to get into the details Advertising recognize the lead reindeer show him the way forward. into a pile of cranberry sauce. of the bloodstream flowing [email protected] of Santa’s sleigh and some While this is obviously true, it Cranberry’s have been associ- through the entire body, obvi- even leave treats out just for touches more on the purpose ated with Christmas for the ously reindeer’s bloodstreams him. Indeed, Rudolph has of the red nose rather than the longest time and the reindeer are quite different, and the Contributors almost become as popular as cause. Many scientists believe love them as treats. A delicacy red cranberry sauce stayed in Raelee Fehr, Dustin Glaseman, Patrick his owner jolly St. Nick. The that Rudolph has a red nose in the north pole is cranber- Rudolph’s nose. Gohl, Kiana Kehler, Anthony Labonte, bright nosed reindeer inspires because he has a high concen- ry sauce. Unfortunately for One of Christmas’s great- Carly Murkin, Carly Prawdzik feelings of joy, happiness and tration of red blood cells in poor Rudolph as soon as he est mysteries has been solved. comfort. However, he also his nose and this allows him fell into the sauce he inhaled The simplest answer was, like inspires emotions of curios- to better regulate his body through his nose and sucked always, the right one. Rudolph The Quill is published weekly by The ity and confusion. He is, after temperature. That, ladies and cranberry sauce into his nose. has a bright red nose that helps Quill, Inc., and is printed by The Kil- larney Guide in Killarney, MB. all, the only reindeer in Santa’s gentlemen, is absolute gar- In this case, it seems one rein- Santa guide his sleigh through herd that has a glowing nose bage. Rudolph has a red nose deer really wanted to cram the storms. He got his red nose NOTE: Editorials, letters, and and not a regular black nose for two particular reasons, berries. by inhaling cranberry sauce viewpoint articles do not necessarily like the rest of his kin. Perhaps which are detailed below. Moving forward, Ru- and then proceeding to be a reflect the opinion of The Quill staff, a question that has been too Now that the “scientific” dolph’s red nose can also be clumsy buffoon. Now that The Quill, Inc., or the faculty, staff, or administration of Brandon University. long unanswered, why exactly explanation is recognized as directly related to his clumsi- this puzzling question has is Rudolph’s nose red? false we can get into the real ness. Indeed, Rudolph was by been answered we can truly The Quill is a member of Canadian Everyone knows that reasons as to why Rudolph the far not a graceful reindeer and begin to celebrate the holiday University Press (CUP), one of the Rudolph the reindeer has a reindeer has a red nose. Some- managed to trip and stumble season. Your welcome! world’s largest student organizations, with a membership of over 70 student Tr u e Wo r k i n g Co n d i t i o n s At Th e No r t h Po l e newspapers in Canada. Carly Murkin, Local Christmas Conspiracy Theorist Advertisers wishing to buy space in anta Clause, the man, the own personal rein deer collec- I’ll tell you what. Economic life’s passion, it’s what they both this newspaper and other CUP- Smyth, the legend. Sitting tion all the while giving away independence and freedom were made for. They’re Santa’s affiliated newspapers should contact comfortably up north in his free gifts to the entire worlds has been sacrificed. The poor Elves after all.” Well first of our multi-market ad representative: jolly old mansion, bringing children? Where’s the profit- little pointy eared buggers all, that’s a pretty rude way to FREE Media toys to all the good girls and economic stability? Especially can’t even leave if they wanted view them, belonging to Santa 11629 105th Avenue boys and everything in be- if you have to pay hundreds of to. Think about it, with all the and all that. Secondly, do they Edmonton, AB T5H 0L9 tween. Feasting year round tiny workers. Unless you don’t information that’s ever been know anything else? Have Phone: 780-421-1000 on homemade cookies and pay them. released about the North Pole, they merely been forced into a [email protected] rich whole milk, the man That’s right, those lovely its only means of getting to labour force or have they been For online advertising inquiries, has it made. Mr. Clause has little helpers with giant smiles and from are on the back of given a choice to pursue other please contact: been successfully running his and pointy ears, fondly con- Santa’s sleigh. All around the means of work? What if they Rouge Media Group homegrown business for hun- sidered an permanent fixture workshop is miles and miles want to be a dentist? 250 The Esplanade, The Keep dreds of years, parents rely on by the side of Mr. Clause. Ec- of desolate dark, ice and snow Look, all I’m saying is Toronto, ON M5A 1J2 Phone: 416-360-8120 him, toymakers envy his in- onomically speaking there’s no crusted doom with howling next time you see one of San- fluence. However, one has to way dear o’ Saint Nick would winds and cracking ice. Quit- ta’s Elves, or rather the Elves Local advertisers can also contact wonder whether or not there’s be capable of paying them all a ting and walking out isn’t re- of Santa- maybe ask if they’re us directly: a dark secret hiding behind living wage, or at the very least ally an option. okay. And also, question where The Quill the multi-national empire. minimum wage. But hey, at least if global your toys are coming from. 270 18th Street Brandon University I’m talking slaves. Haven’t Though you may argue, warming continues they can Who’s making them, and in Brandon, MB R7A 6A9 you ever wondered how Mr. “money isn’t everything” or build themselves a boat and what conditions? Office: 204-727-9667 Clause is capable of maintain- “they’re clothed and fed with row away, so there is that. Fax: 204-571-0029 ing a huge place up north, with a roof over their head- what And now you may ask what I’m assuming is a pretty could possibly be so bad “Why would they want to high heating bill, as well as his about such an arrangement?” leave? Making toys is their

thequill.ca | Dec. 4th, 2018 Ne w s 3 Sp o r t s /Fe at u r e s Issue 14 | Volume 109 Up d at e Fr o m Th e Ed i t o r Th e Ba tt l e Fo r MB V: En d Of Th e Ep i c Sa g a Robert Killam, Editor-in-Chief Robert Killam, Snowball-War Historian tuff happened. Somehow dent paper, it’s not like that posts throughout our social It’s been a good year and hristmas cheer. Marijua- steps to take. mas. No more though. months, trying to maneuver fall of all. Should either side we managed. much exciting happens which media. We had some bilingual I’d really like to thank all the S na. Weddings. Political Now why would some- Standing in his way is into a better position come open the gate they will not This is just a quick update people are willing to bring for- articles, some academic ad- hard working writers and pho- C satire? What do these topics one want to control an access Mrs. Claus or as her official the winter solstice when the only release the undead of on “The Quill” here and how ward to our attention. vice articles, some reviews of togrpahers who have contrib- have in common? Must be an to Hades? Isn’t that a bunch name goes, Lilith. She stands gates of Hades will be re- Hades but also the mosters we have done this past semes- Review of this year: pretty books, some reviews of profes- uted to mkaing “The Quill” installation of the Snowball- of dead people anyways? No, against her husband backed vealed and the horns will have of tartarus. The only way to ter. Fine, we’ve been fine. successful. We published one sors and most importantly we what is today. You are each a War chronicles. atleast not when the gates are by the likes of Krampus, Ha- 24 hours to be blown in it’s ensure that this doesn’t hap- What? What else do you paper a week for 14 straight will be having a sick Holiday true delight to work with! This is the final year for left opened. When the Gates des and Aquaman. Together direction to open the gates. It pen is to support your local want to know? We are a stu- weeks. We also made several Party come end of term. Happy Holidays! the Epic Snow Ball War of of Hades are left opened all they have another 3 Trum- has only been since the first Owl-bear regiment. Led by Riding Mountain. It has been those awaiting judgement pets. Their mission is to take snow fall that each army is al- the Sqoose who coinciden- five years of documenting on will be free to ravage the the armies of the undead lowed to enter the Park. Since tally goes by the name of Th- my part. I have seen some tru- earth, guided by those who and clear out all the bakers then things have been rela- anos and who has developed ly amazing things since start- lead them. The gates can only of the world in order to de- tively quiet, both sides saving an Infinity Bag Pipe (like the ing this journey to view this be opened one way however. stroy Santa by cutting off his their strength for the battle at infinity gauntlet only waaayy legendary war up in the Park, By the playing of the 7 Trum- supply of cookies. After that the Gates once it is revealed. cooler), this faction is sure the risking life and limb to bring pets of Revelation. As of now Lilith would be free to give Sure there have been a few one to be victorious. With the our 5-part story to a close. Santa Claus has claimed 3 freedom to the elf people and accidents where Yeti’s have mighty For those of you who of these with the help of his turn her full attention to ei- thrown snowballs the size of haven’t been tracking or who team of Belsnickel of Germa- ther Asgard or Olympus. (She smart cars at unsuspecting think I’m talking gibberish let ny, Zeus of Olympus and Ru- hasn’t decided yet people give Ewoks and Wookies have tak- me explain. It is during winter dolph of Red Noses. He fights her a break! I mean it would en to being enslaved by Min- every year that the forces of to open the gates and lead his be cool to destroy Olympus istry of Magic at BU (for rea- good and evil come out from army of elves atop an army of but Kratos the God of War sons yet unknown.) However hibernation in order to fight the undead to clear the world already did that once and it the big surprise here is the for control of the Mountain. of other toymakers and musi- would be cool to destroy As- mighty Sqoose (part squirrel, Why the Mountain? Well just cal artists. If anyone is going gard but it was also destroyed part moose) as the last of it’s recently I discovered that the to be making anything, Santa by Surtur in Thor Ragnarok so kind has kept his colleagues Mountain is actually the great wants the Monopoly on it (no some serious deliberation has the Owl-bears out of any she- entrance into Hades. It was pun intended.) Too long have to be taken into account here nanigans so far. It is curious, disguised for millenia and it the brands of Hasbro and in order for her to eventually almost to the point of suspi- was long thought that the en- Lego stood aginst his reign of work up enough strength to cious... Like they are planning trance was in Greece but truly gift giving. Too long have bad re-conquer Eden. Alas that’s a something of their own. the heart of the earth and ac- bitches by the names of Cardi story for a seperate time.) The grand battle is sure cess to the underworld can be B, Nicki Manaj and Snow The two sides have each to take place come December accessed through the Moun- Tha Product sang songs that been planning and war gam- 21st but I have reason to be- tain. If you know the right do not glorify Father Christ- ing around the Mountain for lieve that it will be the down- ‘Tw a s Th e Re a l Ni g h t Be f o r e Ch r i s tm a s Noah Monk, Amateur Story Writer t was the night before as fast as time. In a frac- attic door, little by little the my coat on the way out. my kitchen. Unintention- IChristmas. I quietly tion of a second out my light from my Christmas Mysteriously, the tracks ally, my own clock scared got myself comfortable in window I saw some rather decorations filled up a por- vanish. As if someone flew me as it read 0:00. I could my chair. Looked at my frightening shapes atop of tion of the attic. I peered to this very spot and walked have sworn hours gone by Christmas tree that glowed my neighbour’s house. As my head in, the only thing to my door from here. Out and not a single minute. like the Van Gogh’s Starry soon as I looked directly I could see were boxes and of the corner of my eye on I went and picked up my Night. I found it rather out the window, the shapes in the deep dark the shape the roof of my house there clock only to see the clock difficult to fall asleep, per- disappeared. Probably a bit of a mannequin. Noth- was a humanoid figure near was not even plugged into haps like a child, I am too too much caffeine for to- ing, just like it is supposed my chimney. I turned and the wall. My clock was nev- excited for Christmas, ah day. Some relaxing Christ- to be. After I returned to shouted, “who goes there?”, er on in the first place? My the sweet smell of pine trees mas music might help me my chair I realized, that I but there was nothing there. radio wasn’t playing mu- and peppermint just like sleep. I turned my radio never had any mannequins, From outside, I could see sic. It was just continuous my family used to have. On on, not surprisingly fa- nor boxes in my attic. Just my tree light from inside static. Its not Christmas the other hand, I admit I’m miliar notes of Christmas as those thoughts crossed flickering, but I could not eve! It’s only November. I a bit tense. Mainly because melodies reached my ears. my mind, a rather intense see the tree. I carefully re- don’t have Christmas deco- unusual sounds of bells jin- My eyes began to feel like knock on my door became traced my steps to the door, rations. The snow prints gling and odd laughter from bricks. My body loosely audible. I rushed to answer shocked with fright, boxes from the fireplace, however, above. It is probably just settled in the chair. Thump, the door, only to open my wrapped is bright red and were still there going into a figment of my imagina- thump, thump! It sounded door to find nothing there, greens were under my tree. the kitchen. With terror I tion I thought. I glanced to as if there was something except some strange mark- From my fireplace, snow walked towards my kitchen my left towards the clock, on the roof of my house, ings I have never seen be- prints of unusual shape and door… 11:59 it read. I sighed with or perhaps in the attic. I fore in the snow that went size lead to the tree where upmost boredom in hopes quickly paced to the hall- towards my door. As I fol- the finely wrapped boxes that the hours would go by way and slowly opened the lowed the tracks, I grabbed lay, then leading away to

thequill.ca | Dec. 4th, 2018 Issue 14 | Volume 109 Fe at u r e s 4 Wh y Be A Sc r o o g e On Ch r i s tm a s Donnovan Hillman, Scrooge-Mcgee o be or not to be? That only un- worse than that. Indeed, we dreds of dollars spent on the most expensive gifts. Tis the golden question leashed once a year. live in the nation of Cana- something that is only go- There is absolutely nothing is it not. When it comes First off, Christmas is da, the land where your face ing to be used a few weeks wrong with a cheaper, rea- to Christmas time and the held during the worst time hurts every time you step out of the year. Food is an- sonable priced, fair quality cheerful holiday season one of the year, when it comes outside in winter. Canada other expense that jumps product. There is no need could imply this question to the weather. At Christ- gets some of the worst win- up around Christmas time. to go on pointless shopping on the behavior of a par- mas, happy and joyful ters around the globe, win- Everyone has to go out and sprees that rack up credit ticular Christmas charac- citizens are met with cold, ters that are already in full get decorative baking sup- card bills to the size of the ter, Scrooge. Scrooge was frigid winter nights. On top swing by the time Christ- plies or buy huge hams and mountains of snow outside. a wealthy, but cold hearted of that there is always an mas comes along. turkeys. Grocery bills al- Indeed one thing becomes man who ran a counting abundance of the dreadful Terrible and dreary most triple during the holi- quite clear around the holi- shop. He despised the poor, white stuff, snow. Although winter weather isn’t the days, for no good reason! days, Christmas and cash had no pity on anyone and many people view snow at only reason to hate Christ- What is wrong with the sure like one another. absolutely hated Christmas. Christmas as a good thing, mas. Indeed there are far classic meals that one con- As we can no doubt see Focusing more on the point in reality it is anything but. more many reasons to be sumes any other time of the the holidays absolutely suck! of possessing a hatred for the Snow is one of humanity’s a scrooge during the holi- year? The answer, absolutely Therefore it is best to take a holiday season, one could worst nightmares. It’s cold, days. The top reason above nothing at all! Finally, the little advice from a wealthy, come to realize that being it gets everywhere, you con- all else, money. Scrooge biggest expense, presents. cold hearted man from a a scrooge isn’t exactly a bad stantly have to shovel it and was right when he com- Ah yes, presents, pointless Christmas Carrol and em- thing, and to some it might you will get stuck in it at plained about the expense material goods that we give brace your hatred for the come natural. The holidays least a dozen times through- of Christmas. Christmas is to loved ones in order to ex- “joyful” season. Christmas, are built up to be a time out winter. It also increases by far the most expensive of hibit short term emotions Sugarplums, lights, pres- of wonder, joy and amaze- the chances of spring flood- holidays. Christmas lights of affection. They easily rack ents, songs and snowflakes? ment. Truth be told they ing once winter is over. All and Christmas trees certain- up price tags of hundreds, Bah Humbug! are none of these things. In- these weather related factors ly don’t come cheap, in fact even thousands of dollars. deed Christmas brings upon make Christmas sound ter- they could cost hundreds of In some cases it becomes a horrors that, thankfully, are rible. In truth it gets much dollars. That’s right, hun- competition of who can buy He l l o n Ea rt h : Wh a t To Do Fo r Th o s e No t Go i n g Ho m e Fo r Th e Ho l i d a y s Raelee Fehr, Liberated By The Holidays o our lective to see what’s going day there Find something you love, some- Treaders who are going on over the holidays, which are places you can give home to spend the holidays usually entails a feast with back to in the community thing you enjoy and make the most with their families, safe other cold and depressed around the holidays; Help- travels and enjoy the next students that aren’t used to ing Hands Soup Kitchen, out of your holiday season. It doesn’t few weeks of post-exams re- the six-foot snow trenches Samaritan House, the Hu- have to revolve around work. It doesn’t covery. For many students, and sub-zero temperatures. mane Society, Big Broth- however, going home is not Or, for our non-interna- ers and Sisters… there are have to revolve around family. Take on the table. Whether it’s tional readers, the West- TONS of opportunity. care of yourself this holiday season, it a long trip that you’re not man & Area Traditional Not only will volunteering in the position to take or Dinner held at the Grand help restore your shattered may be exactly what you need. hanging out with the fam- Salon inside the Victoria sense of self-esteem and en- watch) or you can get your- You can close the blinds, jam is your personal defini- Inn. You could meet some ergy after a string of brutal self that gift that you’ve shut off your phone and be tion of Hell on earth, there nice folks over a nice meal exams and other deadlines been dying for but every- in a state of pure bliss for are a few options so you and live entertainment or but it also looks great on a one else who you splurge the whole day. can finally get some peace you could be stuck next to CV (nothing wrong with on is too el-cheapo to buy So, for those of you after listening to everyone an old bitty who starts to double-dipping on the for you. The best part, in who are abstaining from else rave about their see- tell you her life story and benefits, right?). my humble opinion? You the whole family shenani- ing their awesome families. why she’s spending this Some of you may con- can cook yourself (or order gans, we have you covered. If flights are too expensive Christmas alone… and sider people burn-out a in) a feast, tailored to your Regardless of what you’re or a double-dose of Prozac last years’…. and the one very real phenomenon liking. If you like to pre- doing for the holidays, we isn’t strong enough to get before that.... and the one and are seeking something pare your own, buy your- wish you Happy Holidays. you through a family din- before that….. You have a more low-key. In that case, self a nice bottle of wine or Thanks for reading and en- ner, read on. 50/50 chance. the possibilities are endless! rye and get cooking! Or, joy your winter break! If you want to be For those in the spirit You can stay in bed until if you’re more into tok- around other people, there of giving, you can also two in the afternoon, do ing, you can get as LIT as are some options for you. volunteer at the Westman a movie marathon (and it a Christmas tree and order If you’re an international & Area Christmas dinner. doesn’t have to be all the in pizza and munch out on student, check with the In- While many organizations shitty Christmas movies Cheetos if you’re feeling it. ternational Students’ Col- are closed on Christmas that your sister just HAS to

thequill.ca | Dec. 4th, 2018 thequill.ca | Dec. 4th, 2018 Fe A T u r e s 5 sT U d y BR e a k Issue 14| Volume 109 wh y Be a sc R o o g e oN ch R i s T M a s sh r e k i N g Th e hA l l s lo s T Ch r i s T m A s le T T e r Fo u N d Donnovan Hillman, Scrooge-Mcgee Donnovan Hillman, X-mas Movie Lover Nathan MacKrith, Snow Poet o be or not to be? Th at only un- worse than that. Indeed, we dreds of dollars spent on the most expensive gifts. nother fi lm to add to with Shrek and his family ear You, your holiday movie list living quietly in their swap is the golden question leashed once a year. live in the nation of Cana- something that is only go- Th ere is absolutely nothing A T is Shrek the Halls. Unlike until Shrek’s “best friend” D is it not. When it comes First off , Christmas is da, the land where your face ing to be used a few weeks wrong with a cheaper, rea- I’ve been here, waiting the other fi lms I reviewed Donkey abruptly enters the for quite an awful long while to Christmas time and the held during the worst time hurts every time you step out of the year. Food is an- sonable priced, fair quality Shrek the Halls is an ani- scene. Although Shrek tells Dear Quintilius, my Christmas tree’s a skeleton cheerful holiday season one of the year, when it comes outside in winter. Canada other expense that jumps product. Th ere is no need mated fi lm. However, just Donkey no one in his house- my Mistletoe’s missing the toe could imply this question to the weather. At Christ- gets some of the worst win- up around Christmas time. to go on pointless shopping How could you consider Julius Caesar a great leader when he single because a movie is in anima- hold cares about Christmas my ugly sweater’s an attractive doily on the behavior of a par- mas, happy and joyful ters around the globe, win- Everyone has to go out and sprees that rack up credit handedly committed one of the worst tion doesn’t mean university his wife, Princess Fiona, the eggnog’s mold spores unionized ticular Christmas charac- citizens are met with cold, ters that are already in full get decorative baking sup- card bills to the size of the crimes against humanity?!? Burning students can’t enjoy it as well! enters the scene with his while I’ve been here, waiting for You ter, Scrooge. Scrooge was frigid winter nights. On top swing by the time Christ- plies or buy huge hams and mountains of snow outside. down the Library of Alexandria. After all there are plenty of three ogre babies. After the a wealthy, but cold hearted of that there is always an mas comes along. turkeys. Grocery bills al- Indeed one thing becomes Sincerely, Lover Of Knowledge TV shows that are animated Princess expresses that this I don’t care about a compostable tree, man who ran a counting abundance of the dreadful Terrible and dreary most triple during the holi- quite clear around the holi- that students watch instead particular Christmas will be missing toes, shop. He despised the poor, white stuff , snow. Although winter weather isn’t the days, for no good reason! days, Christmas and cash Dear Historically Inept, of doing school work. Th ese wonderful as it’s the fi rst one changeling sweaters, Really? You think that Gaius Ju- include but are not limited they are together as a fam- or mold spore solidarity had no pity on anyone and many people view snow at only reason to hate Christ- What is wrong with the sure like one another. lius Caesar is to blame for the state to Family Guy, that one with ily, Shrek races to the local All I care about is You, absolutely hated Christmas. Christmas as a good thing, mas. Indeed there are far classic meals that one con- As we can no doubt see we are in now? You honestly believe the yellow bald guy and that bookstore in the Kingdom who cannot be Focusing more on the point in reality it is anything but. more many reasons to be sumes any other time of the the holidays absolutely suck! that the burning of Th e Library set one with the secret service of Far, Far Away to fi nd out bought packaged bagged sold, of possessing a hatred for the Snow is one of humanity’s a scrooge during the holi- year? Th e answer, absolutely Th erefore it is best to take a civilization back 1000 years? If you dude or something. As I’m what Christmas really is all I have not one use for gold holiday season, one could worst nightmares. It’s cold, days. Th e top reason above nothing at all! Finally, the little advice from a wealthy, truly believe that Julius is the reason for why we are so far behind today sure you have guessed I have about. Th ere, Shrek picks up trimmings or fancy paper, come to realize that being it gets everywhere, you con- all else, money. Scrooge biggest expense, presents. cold hearted man from a where we could have been you are se- only watched the one that the book titled Christmas I can live without things a scrooge isn’t exactly a bad stantly have to shovel it and was right when he com- Ah yes, presents, pointless Christmas Carrol and em- verely misguided. follows the joyful adventures for Village Idiots, which is baubles toys trinkets rings thing, and to some it might you will get stuck in it at plained about the expense material goods that we give brace your hatred for the Th e Library held over 400,000 of one Peter Griffi n. a simple step by step guide All I need come natural. Th e holidays least a dozen times through- of Christmas. Christmas is to loved ones in order to ex- “joyful” season. Christmas, scrolls. In order for us Roman’s to Anyway, Shrek the Halls on how to make the perfect All I want are built up to be a time out winter. It also increases by far the most expensive of hibit short term emotions Sugarplums, lights, pres- win the battle at Alexandria, we had is a perfect movie to sit back Christmas for your fam- for Christmas of wonder, joy and amaze- the chances of spring fl ood- holidays. Christmas lights of aff ection. Th ey easily rack ents, songs and snowfl akes? to burn the ships in the harbour. and relax to during this holi- ily. Shrek follows this advice is You Th at balze maybe destroyed 40,000 ment. Truth be told they ing once winter is over. All and Christmas trees certain- up price tags of hundreds, Bah Humbug! day season. It was released and enjoys a variety of holi- scrolls or 10% of the collection. Th at in 2007 and was directed day activities with his family are none of these things. In- these weather related factors ly don’t come cheap, in fact even thousands of dollars. destruction also brought some sem- Truly Yours, by Gary Trousdale. One of such as decorating the house deed Christmas brings upon make Christmas sound ter- they could cost hundreds of In some cases it becomes a blance of peace to the region. Th e the best parts right off the and fi nding a Christmas tree. horrors that, thankfully, are rible. In truth it gets much dollars. Th at’s right, hun- competition of who can buy land of Alexandria was under Ro- Me man rule, safe and secure. How do hop about this fi lm is that Th en, just as he is about to you think the wars would have went the original cast for the four fi nish the last step of telling ever, Fiona, feeling bad that as Ogre Claus. Th e fi lm ends had the Egyptian Dynastic wars been main Shrek fi lms all come the Christmas story, Donkey Shrek kicked everyone out off by everyone going out- allowed to go on? Cleopatra fi ghting back and voice their respec- and the rest of Shrek’s friends on Christmas Eve, goes af- side and seeing Santa Claus against her brother-lover Ptolemy? tive characters. Th at means burst into his homestead and ter the group with the ogre and his reindeer fl y into the You don’t think either of them were that Mike Myers returns as ruin his plans. As his house babies. After a while Shrek night sky. above destroying knowledge for their the fearful but jolly green is in chaos he tries to fi n- starts to feel bad about what Shrek the Halls is a own gain? ogre Shrek, Cameron Diaz as ish telling the story of “Th e transspired and catches up great and entertaining Oh and are we just going to leave Princess Fiona, Eddie Mur- Night Before Christmas.” with Fiona, Donkey and the the Christian and Muslim conquer- Christmas fi lm. Although phy as Donkey and Antonio However Donkey, Gingy others. He apologizes for his ing forces out of the equation? Have its shorter than many oth- Banderas as Puss in Boots. and Puss in Boots each in- behavior and reveals to ev- you bothered looking at the other er classic Christmas mov- Th ere are also other, sup- terrupt and tell their own eryone this is his fi rst Christ- leadership around this time period? ies it never fails to present portive characters that have wacky and misleading ver- mas too. After a friendly Hmm, or what about the economy a lasting impression on of the area? the same voice actors as they sions. By this time Shrek has snowball fi ght the friends Th e Library used to steal, borrow did in the main fi lms such had enough of his “friends” return to the swamp to hear viewers. Most importantly and hunt down people for books and as Conrad Vernon as Gingy stories and accidently drops Shrek tell his own version of it reminds us the true gift knowledge. Th ey sabotaged other li- the Gingerbread Man. Shrek the book. Not wanting Fio- “Th e Night Before Christ- of Christmas, friends and braries and papyrus sales in order to the Halls is shorter than na to see it Shrek tries to pry mas”, which features himself family. keep their own types of knowledge, the other fi lms in the series the book out of while limiting rivals abilities to pro- coming in at a runtime of Donkey’s grasp. duce texts. Th e Library was funded 30 minutes. It is classifi ed Instead, the publically and privately, the leaders of the time invited great thinkers to as a Christmas special and book goes fl ying Alexandria to study and create texts. does an excellent job in both and proceeds to Th e Library of Alexandria was capturing and playing off of set off a string not let down by one man. Th e Li- a holiday theme. Like a lot of events that brary was let down by humanity as of family Christmas movies, result in Shrek we stopped investing in the wealth of the fi lm starts off in a rela- being set on knowledge and only focused on cer- tively pleasant tone but soon fi re. Th e fear- tain kinds which benefi tted the own- switches into a diff erent less ogre then ers of Th e Library at the time. mood. With its collection demands every- Fear of enlightened education is of Christmas stories, music one gets out of the reason for the decline of Th e Li- and colours Shrek the Halls his house, so he brary of Alexandria. makes you feel like Christ- and his family All Salute Th e Eternal City, mas is already upon us. can enjoy the Qunitilius of Rome Shrek the Halls opens holiday. How-

thequill.ca | dec. 4th, 2018 thequill.ca | dec. 4th, 2018 Issue 14 | Volume 109 BUSU, ACC, a n d Ca m p u s 6 Hi s t o r y Of Ch r i s t m a s Alexandra Mackay, Christmas Specialist he word Christmas already a day associated Christmas in 1640 citing it Charles Dickens’ 1843 controversial entanglement Toriginates with the with celebratory events. as a superstitious observa- novel A Christmas Carol with capitalism. In most mass of Christ, a Christian Prior to this, there is lit- tion and it wasn’t until 1958 helped popularize Christ- places during the early mass service held to cele- tle evidence of any official that Christmas became an mas in the UK as a time of 20th century, the Christ- brate the death and rebirth observance of the day, early official public holiday in goodwill, compassion, and mas customs we think of of Jesus. Christmas came to Christian writers believed Scotland. In 1647, Puritan family centered. It was his today were restricted to up- be associated with the birth that only sinners celebrate rulers in England banned intention to infuse worship, per class families. The mod- of God in human form, their birthdays and saints Christmas. This was fol- feasting, and social recon- ern well-known Christmas come to atone for humani- should and have cursed the lowed by pro-Christmas ciliation into the season. trimmings did not become ty’s sins. But the real date of day of their birth. Before rioting, and people deco- The phrase “Merry Christ- widespread until the pros- his birth is unknown, it has Christmas, many winter rating their doorways with mas” reached common use perity experienced in the been widely and continuous festivals centered around holly in protest. The ban through the Dickens novel. 1950s. speculated with options in- the winter solstice were in England ended in 1660 This corresponded with the The traditions associ- cluding; May 20, April 18, population in European with a new king, but few growth of Anglo-Catholi- ated with Christmas inte- 19, 20, or 21, March 25, page cultures because of less people attended church. cism that elicited a revival grate aspects of multiple January 2, November 17 or agricultural work and the Pilgrims in New Eng- in observing traditional re- cultures and celebrations. 20. The first recorded in- anticipation of spring. land openly disapproved of ligious rituals. For example, yule logs stance of Christmas being The high middle ages the day, demonstrating their The poem A Visit From originated with Germanic celebrated on December saw the prominence of cel- disapproval by intentionally St. Nicholas by Clement feasts to symbolize the bat- 25th was in 336 during the ebration on Christmas day spending their first Christ- Clarke Moore, with the tle between good and evil remain of the Roman em- through large feats. Carol- mas day in their new home opening line “Twas the and triumph over sin, Now peror Constantine. A few ing also became popular by continuing to work like night before Christmas”, Christmas is celebrated re- years later Pope Julius I de- during this time and was any other day. In 1659 cel- led to the trend of exchang- ligiously by Christians and clared that the birth of Jesus often condemned as lewd ebrating Christmas became ing gifts in North America, culturally by non-Chris- will hereon be celebrated and carrying on unruly tra- illegal in Boston, public beginning the holidays tians globally. on the 25th of December. ditions of pagan holidays. notices were distributed December 25 was conve- Gift giving in the middle stating that Christmas had nient because it was the day ages usually occurred be- been deemed “sacrilege”, of the winter solstice on the tween people with legal re- and “the exchanging of gifts roman calendar and about lationships like tenant and and greetings, dressing in nine months after the date landlord. fine clothing, feasting and linked to the conception People at the forefront similar Satanical practices of Jesus (speculated to be during the Protestant Ref- are hereby forbidden”, of- March 25th), and the Ro- ormation, including the fenders would be fined five mans had already spent Catholic Church insisted shillings. The ban ended in many years honoring the the day be observed more 1681 but few people in the sun god Sol Invictus on religiously. Scotland abol- region celebrated the day December 25th, so it was ished the observance of until the mid 19th century. Be s t Gi ft s Fo r Ex-Lo v e r s Wh o Ha v e Do n e Yo u Wr o n g Lisa Mizan, World’s Best Gift Giver, Giver Of Best Gifts he last week of the se- vengeful kahlua, here are esteem issues correlated an online print of the Love ex’s habit of not cleaning Tmester has rolled out five best gifts for your ex- with high rates of turkey Potion from Harry Potter their room, bashes com- and the holiday season is lover this holiday season: consumption.) After trans- and the Half-Blood Prince. munists, and teaches you creeping upon us with fer- *Follow suggestions at your mitting said gift, you shall Since you are just a mug- how to act like a lobster. vour. The snow is piling own risk, I neither endorse leave the wrapper and rib- gle, this potion won’t actu- 5. give them an ac- up, the wind getting harsh- nor condone this, I am just bons right where they were ally work; however, it will tual gift. er and the air is starting a poor university student* opened and NOT LOOK leave a really bad aftertaste Yeah they were a total to smell like gingerbread 1. give them chla- BACK. No replying to of crushed firefly wings and scumbag who walked over cookies. Putting all stereo- mydia. texts that sound like “ Did bison in your ex’s mouth. your heart, but you know typical euro-centric christ- The holiday season you give me an STI???” 3. give them a pretty what will make their blood mas traditions aside, this is, after all, a time to turn 2. give them a tam- sweater. boil more than yours? You column focuses on how the heat up. This first gift pered drink. So they look left out showing them that you are the holiday season is also a requires you to either gift This is not intended for at the ugly sweater office the bigger person and they time of romance and also a them right before the any illegal behaviour! You christmas party. have not tainted your hu- rapid rise in the number of breakup or after it if you shall mail them a bottle of 4. give them Jordan manity and kindness. times you are likely to see manage to somehow sleep wine or baileys irish cream Petersen’s 12 Rules For Merry Christmas! your ex lover at a party. As with them regardless (not (other beverages will seem Life. you enjoy that warm cup of judging, the holiday season suspicious) that you have An intellectual master- hot cocoa spiked with some is also known for low self- meticulously spiked with piece that talks about your thequill.ca | Dec. 4th, 2018 BUsU, acc, a N d ca M p U s 7 Co m m u N i T y Issue 14 | Volume 109 wh o ’s wh o ? ch R i s T M a s Fi g U R e s Alexandra Mackay, Senior Studier Of All Things Christmas ith which Christmas a. Sweets and treats with masculine brute force. his lap. the baby Jesus upon hear- Wfi gure should you b. With whatever they He shows up one or two Mostly c - Befana ing of his birth. Being delu- celebrate the holidays? want! weeks before Christmas as Befana is described as sional, she believes him to 1. what is the true c. Anything and every- a scout for Saint Nicholas, an old woman who delivers be her son and showers him meaning of christmas? thing that tastes good determining which kids gifts to children through- with gifts. Th e infant is de- a. Teaching the dif- d. Well behaved chil- have been misbehaving. out Italy. She is covered in lighted with her generosity ference between right and dren exist? When he shows up to your soot, because enters houses and crowns her the mother wrong 6. what is the ideal house, he raps on the door through the chimney, but of every child in Italy. b. Satisfaction from the destination for a christ- or window with his stick you wouldn’t know, because Mostly d - krampus spirit of giving mas holiday? and requires children to if you see Befana she will hit Krampus, the half goat c. Cultivating family a. Somewhere no one sing a song for him to come you with her broomstick. half demon, likely originated relationships will recognize me in and distribute the sweets Befana is also known as the in pre-Christian traditions d. Only 311 days until b. Antarctica (or not). With his switch - Christmas Witch because of Austria, Bavaria, Slove- Halloween c. Europe a fl exible rod specifi cally for she rides a broomstick and nia, and Croatia. Krampus 2. what is the best d. Hell corporal punishment – he wears a black shawl. Th e appears on the night before part of christmas celebra- 7. choose your pre- doles out beatings for the Christian legend goes that the Feast of Saint Nicholas tions? ferred christmas fashion naughty kids, and brings Befana provided shelter for (celebrated on December 6) a. Well behaved chil- a. Fur cakes, candies, and nuts for the three wise men on their as a wicked and hairy devil, dren b. Anything with an the good ones. Bad children journey to the baby Jesus. wearing black rags, masks, b. Presents elastic waistband are beat just enough to be Th e wise men stayed the he drags chains behind to c. A clean house c. All black garments scared into good behavior night and deemed Befana throw at children who get d. Alcohol d. Chains so that Santa will still deliv- an impeccable hostess, and in the way. Best described 3. what is your ideal 8. people who know er gifts for them on Christ- invited her on their jour- as a supernatural being form of transportation? you might describe you mas. ney. She declined because crossed with descriptions a. Walking as… Mostly B - santa she was too busy with of the devil, the creature is b. Animal power a. Appears haggard but claus housework. After the wise known to have antlers, one c. Broomstick has good intentions Saint Nicholas. Kris men left, she changed her human foot, and one clo- d. Stumbling b. Jolly Kringle. Father Christmas. mind and tried to search for ven hoof. A Krampuslauf is 4. how should badly c. A gentle old witch Santa. Spends the year over- the men and Jesus. Unable a holiday celebration where behaved children be pun- d. A little bit morbi seeing a workforce in toy to fi nd them, she wanders you dress as Krampus and ished? Mostly a – Belsnickels making and documenting to this day, looking for the drink schnapps. a. A good old beating Belsnickels hails from of every child in the world baby. As she searches, she b. No presents the southwestern border of and their behavior. Tradi- leaves good children toys, c. Coal, onions, and Germany. Wearing tattered, tionally plump, slides down candy, or fruit, and leav- garlic instead of delicious dirty clothes, traditionally the chimney in a white and ing bad children coal, on- treats fur, and a mask intended red suit to deliver gifts to ions, or garlic. Other stories d. Give them night- to disguise his identity, Bel- well behaved children with say that Befana’s own child mares snickels is sometimes called eight reindeer as transporta- died, lead- 5. how should well the Christmas woman, be- tion. Known for his magic, ing her to behaved children be re- cause the fi gure shows up peace, joy, giving spirit, and madness and warded? in feminine clothing armed insistence that you sit on searching for

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jonathan_G_Meath_portrays_Santa_Claus.jpg https://pixabay.com/en/epiphany-feast-holidays-ticket-1911052/ https://www.fl ickr.com/photos/ancientartpodcast/15845492620 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus

thequill.ca | dec. 4th, 2018 thequill.ca | dec. 4th, 2018 Issue 14 | Volume 109 8 BU Ac c e s s Aw a r e n e s s We e k Nathan MacKrith, Reporter ec 3-5th is BU Access December 4th- Resources presentation called “Acces- ing Nemo” with a discussion after she attended a province- DAwareness Week. The Day in the Mingling Area sibility of Manitobans Act: about the portrayal of dis- wide Access Awareness show- theme of the week empower- from 10:00am to 3:00pm Why is it Important?” in the ability in that film. Popcorn case in Winnipeg in June ing people with disabilities. where resources across Bran- Louis Riel Room from 2:00- will be provided. Families are of 2018. Hodgins hopes to Here is a schedule of Events: don will showcase what they 3:00pm. welcome to come enjoy with “[create] dialogue and show- December 3rd-Student Panel can offer to those experienc- Then in the evening from the kids. case supports for students “What Does Inclusion Mean ing disability. 6:30-9:00pm in the Elephant The idea for this event who identify as having a dis- to Me?” in the Library Gather- December 5th- the final Room is a movie night featur- came to BUSU Accessibilities ability on [BU] campus and ing Space from 1:30-3:00pm. day and will include first a ing the animated flick “Find- Director Whitney Hodgins across Brandon.”

Disclaimer Some stories in this issue are meant to be satirical and by no means reflect the opinions of all students on campus. We realize Rudolph may have got his red nose for other reasons, ex’s are still human beings and Santa may pay fair wages.

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thequill.ca | Dec. 4th, 2018