Robin Hood
Story by Kathy Stout
Written by Elliot Guerra and Kathy Stout
Directed by Elliot Guerra
Based on The Adventures of Robin Hood by Roger Lancelyn Green
“Come listen to me, you gallants so free, All you that loves mirth for to hear, And I will you tell of a bold outlaw, That lived in Nottinghamshire.”
February/March 2016 drafted
1.1 - Jail
(1st Grade, Soldier 1, Soldier 2, The Tanner, The Butcher, Tall Palmer, George-a-Greene)
SOLDIER 1 And stay in there!
THE TANNER Alright, alright- you don’t have to shove. You guys are in here too?
TALL PALMER Man, they got everyone.
THE BUTCHER The whole first grade in here!
GEORGE-A-GREENE It’s true. And they are NOT happy about it.
THE TANNER What happened?!
1 1ST GRADER I’m glad you asked ahem First Graders ASSEMBLE!!
2 1ST GRADER We were once a happy bunch.
3 1ST GRADER We worked and sang and ate our lunch.
4 1ST GRADER King Richard was our leader then.
5 1ST GRADER Our lives were great, a perfect ten.
6 1ST GRADER But Richard left and went to war.
7 1ST GRADER His brother came and made us poor.
8 1ST GRADER Prince John may be King Richard’s brother.
2
9 1ST GRADER But we all wish he had another.
10 1ST GRADER We worked all day and couldn’t sing.
11 1ST GRADER While Prince John took our everything.
12 1ST GRADER He asked for more but we were spent.
13 1ST GRADER We had no bread and still owed rent.
141ST GRADER We prayed all day for things to change.
15 1ST GRADER That’s when things got really strange.
16 1ST GRADER A boy with cold hard cash arrived.
17 1ST GRADER To say the least, we were surprised.
18 1ST GRADER He paid our rent and gave us bread.
19 1ST GRADER He took the debt right off our head.
20 1ST GRADER He saved us oh so many times.
21 1ST GRADER We offered him a million rhymes.
22 1ST GRADER We never got the boy’s first name.
23 1ST GRADER But he did save us all the same.
24 1ST GRADER
3 We need him now more than before.
25 1ST GRADER We know he’ll soon knock on that door.
THE TANNER You’re talking about Robin Hood! Oh, if only he would come and save us.
1.2– The Town
(3rd Grade)
We used to work and pay our taxes No late nights and no overtime we worked and paid our taxes King Richard was so fair and kind Now I know when the Sherriff sings (Sherriff sings) That can only mean one thing I know when the Sherriff sings (Sherriff sings) He’s working with a brand new king
Ever since King John has ruled You (you you) gotta watch your cattle and your back now Everybody knows he’ll quickly steal your cow He’s really got me down he’s got me stressed out ‘Cause ever since King John has ruled you you you you start givin’ over more and more in taxes There’s spreading of the economic classes He doesn’t hear the voices of the masses
We used to work for our King Richard His brother was a huge mistake Working for King John Has left us in a saddened state
1.3–Town
(Much the Miller's Son, Black Knight, Soldier 1, Soldier 2, Soldier 3, Robin Hood, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker, The Peddler, The Tinker, Azeem)
CANDLESTICK MAKER Two pence for a loaf? Baker, it was half a farling last week!
BAKER
4 Prices are going up, you know that’s the way of the world.
CANDLESTICK MAKER Under this horrid Prince John, no prince is he! Nothing like his brother glorious King Richard!
BAKER Shut your trap talking like this, you never know when the Sheriff and his dreaded black knight are listening. I suppose your candles, the candles you make, you give them away for free?
CANDLESTICK MAKER Supply and demand darling, people need candles.
BAKER And they won’t be needing bread?
CANDLESTICK MAKER Not by bread alone saitheth the Lord.
BAKER I suppose you’re right there. Ah, the life of us serfs. All we do is serve.
Just then MUCH comes running through causing a commotion.
MUCH Hide me! Hide me!
BAKER What trouble did you get into this time boy?
MUCH I was... I was... I know I shouldn’t have but me ma and kin are so hungry and my father is fighting in the Crusades!
BAKER Tell me you didn’t...
MUCH I killed one of the king’s deer!
CANDLESTICK MAKER Oh no!
5
BAKER Prince John has forbidden it!
MUCH How much deer can a man eat?
CANDLESTICK MAKER Never mind that. Quickly, quickly hide here.
KNIGHT (O.S.) Where is he? Where is that boy?
They hide MUCH.
BAKER Lord have mercy. It is the black knight!
KNIGHT Hear ye! Hear ye! One of you serfs is hiding a boy who unlawfully poached one of the king’s deer! If any of you are hiding him you will be punished under the rule of Prince John and his servant the sheriff of Nottingham! (Silence.) Oh, so he just disappeared did he? Pay up then! Someone has to pay for the Prince’s deer! (He takes coins from the CANDLESTICK MAKER.)
CANDLESTICK MAKER But sir that’s my wages for the week!
SOLDIER 1 (Grabbing MUCH.) Here he is sir, hiding in the baker’s store.
KNIGHT To the stocks for you baker!
BAKER Mercy sir, I didn’t know he was there! I didn’t hide him!
KNIGHT Silence! The price of treachery is death!
An arrow sound pierces the wind.
SOLDIER 1 Ah! My hand.
6
KNIGHT Where did that arrow come from?
ROBIN (Waves.) Guilty as charged. Sorry. Well, sorry I’m not sorry.
KNIGHT What? Who are you two? You’ve injured one of the prince’s soldier, If you want to see tomorrow surrender.
ROBIN What do you think Azeem? We do want to see tomorrow, but we really enjoy seeing a bully get his. We’re gonna have to ask you to surrender.
SOLDIER 2 There’s four of us and two of you!
KNIGHT We will never surrender to some dirty peasants with a bow.
AZEEM I was hoping they’d say that Christian.
ROBIN and AZEEM fight off the bad guys.
SOLDIER 1 Ah! My hammy!
SOLDIER 2 I’m gonna need Tommy John surgery!
SOLDIER 3 That’s gonna bruise tomorrow.
ROBIN with the help of MUCH tie up the soldiers.
KNIGHT Unhand us! Oh, you have no idea what you have done!
ROBIN I’m pretty sure I know what I just did. How are you son?
MUCH Fine. Yo, That was dope.
7
ROBIN Yes, it was dope. Quite dope actually, whatever that means.
KNIGHT The sheriff and Prince John are going to hear about this!
AZEEM Yes, make sure you tell him about the part where you and your boys got beaten by a “dirty peasant” that’s what I thought you said.
He takes the money from the BLACK KNIGHT and buys bread giving it to the CANDLESTICK MAKER.
ROBIN Here you go. (Leaving.) Come on Much.
MUCH How do you know my name?
ROBIN You’re the Miller’s son. Come to Sherwood Forest!
BAKER Wow. Now that’s a prince.
CANDLESTICK MAKER More like a prince of thieves.
1.4 –Sherwood Forest
(Robin Hood, Little John, Will Scarlett, Much, Allin-a- dale, Azeem, Saffiya, Royston White, Will Stutely, Arthur- a-bland, Gilbert Whitehand, Bold Jane Downey, Gamble Gold, Clorinda)
ALLIN-A-DALE is picking at his guitar.
ALLIN-A-DALE “In Nottingham there lives a jolly tanner, His name is Arthur-a-Bland; There is near a squire in Nottinghamshire Dare bid bold Arthur stand.”
ARTHUR Ha! I love it, that’s me to a tee, Arthur-a-bland!
8
SCARLET Say, what are you up to Allin-a-dale? Writing another one of your minstrel songs?
ALLIN-A-DALE And a fine song it will be Will Scarlett.
ROYSTON Do you miss the minstrel life?
ALLIN-A-DALE No different than this outlaw life in the forest. Say what sin did you commit to make you an outlaw?
ROYSTON Me? I’m innocent, what about you?
ALLIN-A-DALE Me? I was framed. Say, what about you Scarlett?
SCARLETT Fixed jury! What about you Gilbert Whitehand?
WHITEHAND Are you ever going to stop calling me Whitehand?
SCARLETT Are you ever going to stop be our cook and baker?
WHITEHAND Good point.
ROYSTON So, what did you do to become an outlaw?
I was set up! Just like Will Stutely over there.
WILL Yep! It is an injustice I tell you. Right Bold Jane?
JANE I was framed! Just like Allin-a-Dale.
GAMBLE You two were framed all right, so were those paintings you stole.
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SAFFIYA Gamble Gold! You mean you don’t believe them? “Ye, without sin shouldn’t cast the first stone…”
GOLD The judge had it out for me!
CLORINDA So did the executioner.
GOLD Clorinda! I thought the executioner liked me!
LITTLE JOHN Settle down I’m planning our next raid. Beyond the old Pinner of Wakefield’s lands we can snatch a sheep for clothing. The evenings are getting chillier.
SCARLET Aye, perhaps we can get a sheep with the finest wool.
ALLIN-A-DALE Always worried about how you look huh Will Scarlett?
SCARLET Ah, go back to your lyrics you minstrel.
MUCH Little John! Little John! Merry Men!
WILL Much! What is it?
MUCH You wouldn’t believe it, I was hunting a deer just outside the forest and...
LITTLE JOHN You were hunting the King’s deer?
MUCH Yes, but sirs,
SCARLET By yourself?
10 MUCH Yes, but sirs, you do it all the time.
ARTHUR Well said lad.
LITTLE JOHN That’s different you’re much too young much, and besides you could’ve gotten caught.
MUCH Well I did.
ALL What?
MUCH No, but its ok. Because a couple of men saved me.
ROYSTON What men?
ROBIN (Faux singing an entrance.) That would be us, hiya boys!
The men get ready for battle.
AZEEM Well Christian, it looks like we are not welcomed here.
LITTLE JOHN Much the miller’s son, you brought these men to our secret hideaway, what have I told you?
GILBERT Not cool little man.
MUCH Well, I thought…
ROBIN It’s quite alright, Much told me of your plight and I say let us unite and…
LITTLE JOHN punches ROBIN.
11 ROBIN (Gets knocked down.) Ow!
ALLIN-A-DALE What did you say your name was?
ROBIN I didn’t. It is Robin. Robin Hood.
JANE Who is this, your hanger on?
AZEEM I am Azeem, Robin saved my life and I will stay with him until my debt is paid.
CLORINDA You’re not from around here are you Azeem?
AZEEM I am from the Far East.
SAFFIYA Well Sir Robin, Sir Robin Hood and Far East guy, that there is Little John, he’s the leader and ruler of these parts and he doesn’t take kindly to strangers in good ol’ Sherwood Forest.
ROBIN He’s not so little.
LITTLE JOHN I appreciate the help with Much, but you should be getting along.
ROBIN Well we were thinking of sticking around some.
MUCH Yes, let them join. They’re outlaws now aint’ he?
GAMBLE Good thinking much. Of course if you wanted to join you’d have to beat little john here in a good old round of fiddlesticks.
12 ROBIN What’s fiddlesticks?
LITTLE JOHN stretches and takes out his stick.
WILL I love watching a good fight.
ALLIN-A-DALE Well the rules are simple. (He hands a stick to ROBIN.) Don’t get dead.
ROBIN Ah, excellent. Easy enough. On guard Good fellow.(LITTLE JOHN easily tosses Robin about. While he was doing this.) I swore an oath to myself that I would help anybody in distress that I would protect those who suffer at the hands of the Sheriff. Woah, that stung a little. We are not thieves, we are… Sorry big boy, but you’re stronger than I thought.
Robin knocks LITTLE JOHN down.
ROBIN Are you beaten?
LITTLE JOHN Respect, aye, Respect.
ROBIN We live outside the law but we are not thieves or robbers. Are we lads? Let us not declare war on ourselves but instead we declare war on all those thieves and robbers among the moneylenders, the landowners and among those that tax us until we have nothing left and give us nothing in return let us not live in the shade of injustice and do nothing but let us give the money to those that need it most. Prince john and the sheriff will be white hot with rage when he learns what we have done with his gold.
ROBIN Well?
ROYSTON You kill?
ROBIN
13 Vengeance is mine and mine alone saitheth the Lord. I would never kill, Mayhem though? A little mayhem? That’s OK.
SCARLET I love mayhem.
JANE Yeah I love fighting it is like my favorite thing to do. Like in the world.
ARTHUR Have you spoken to Friar Tuck about that?
JANE No.
GILBERT Well you should.
LITTLE JOHN OK then Azeem and Robin the Hood.
ROBIN Not Robin the Hood, just Robin Hood.
LITTLE JOHN Well then Sir Robin Hood.
ROBIN Not a sir, again, just Robin Hood.
LITTLE JOHN We’re with you! Though your face be punchable, your words are lofty! How about it outlaw men and ladies of Sherwood? Shall we take back what is ours!
Everyone cheers.
ALL Huzzah!
1.5 – Castle
(Prince John, Sheriff, Guy, Tuck, Black Knight, Bishop, Marian, Isabella, Hiss, Diana)
John (O.S.)
14 This is an outrage! How dare they! I am the ruler of England and I say what happens around here.
HISS I understand sir, but it couldn’t be helped.
JOHN You’re telling me in this entire Castle! This castle that my father, Henry the Second built there isn’t one more blueberry muffin left?
HISS I’m sorry Sire, we’re working on it.
JOHN I want my muffins!
GUY (Mocking.) Ha, “I want my muffins.”
SHERIFF Who said that? Which one of you said that about our noble prince! Oh somebody wants to get sliced up in this castle!
GUY I am sorry your highness, I was just teasing!
JOHN Woah, Sheriff, what did we say about that anger thing. It’s just Sir Guy of Gisbourne.
SHERIFF Sire, he was mocking you!
JOHN Sir Guy? Ah, he was just bustin’ chops right Guy?
GUY Of course Sire.
JOHN Sir Hiss, make sure we book Sheriff some vacation days, go visit Stonehedge, go druid out.
The Black Knight enters bruised.
15 KNIGHT I am sorry my liege, but a couple of bandits have attacked me and my men, I fear we may have a peasant uprising.
SHERIFF What? Are you kidding me? Who? Who was it? Are they here? Are they close? I’ll handle this! Sire, this is awful.
JOHN I know it is awful.
SHERIFF What should we do about this?
JOHN We’ll hire another baker, that way we’ll never run out of muffins.
SHERIFF Sire! About the peasants?
JOHN Oh, right. Um, well, tax the people as punishment until they cough up these troublmakers and when they do you know, make them shorter you know what I mean
SHERIFF I don’t follow.
JOHN You know like, off with, like give them a haircut, dude I don’t want to say kill them the Pre K 3 and 4 are waiting backstage.
SHERIFF Ah, excellent. I’m off to it, let’s go Sir Knight, Guy of Gisborne, let us dispatch our villainy.
GUY Are you sure? I’m scoping these ladies like mouthwash over here.
SHERIFF Yes of course come on! Woo! This is what we play for!
Sheriff, Guy and Knight exit.
16 HISS Brilliant plan sire.
JOHN Yeah I know its brilliant it’s my idea.
HISS You can use the additional taxes for your building project.
JOHN Yeah I’m gonna be able to build that castle wall. It’s gonna be a great wall, it’s gonna be huge, and I’m gonna make Wales pay for it. Yes, tax the poor people of Nottingham! Can we evil laugh now Hiss?
HISS Of course sire.
They both laugh.
MARIAN I don’t see what good laughing at the expense of poor people will do.
ISABELLA Maid Marian please don’t.
HISS Yeah, listen to—
JOHN It’s cool. It’s cool. The Bishop of Hereford, my man fifty grand you got a problem with what I’m saying?
BISHOP Of course not Sire, I was going to be a spineless, quiet observer and secretly benefit from your cruel ways. Not just because I fear you but because I lack integrity.
JOHN See Marian, and he’s a bishop.
MARIAN You’re so cruel, you’re nothing like your brother, King Richard!
HISS
17 Oh no you did’nt!
JOHN (Screams.) Never say my brother’s name! Mother and Father always loved him best. You’re lucky he is off on that crazy crusade and you are even luckier to be my cousin because if you weren’t I would have cut off your…
HISS Sire, remember the Pre K students.
JOHN Allowance. (Whispers.) And your head. Ah! Hiss! Let’s go I tire of court life! Let’s go watch some jousting or steal from a monastery or something, come on Bishop, you can come to!
Hiss and John exit with the Bishop.
ISABELLA What a retched man he is.
MARIAN We must warn these peasants of Prince John’s tyranny.
ISABELLA If only we know where those two were?
DIANA Quiet my lady, that corrupt Friar is listening.
TUCK I am listening, but I’m not corrupt. Maid Marian, I’ve been helping the merry men for years.
ISABELLA The Merry Men?
TUCK Yep, that’s our name! I don’t know if it’s a thing, Arthur- a-bland came up with it one night, and I was like “eh” about it, but Bold Jane, she liked it and…
DIANA Friar Tuck?
18 TUCK Oh right. The world is my parish, the poor my parishioners, I fight for gospel values, and ignore the bishop’s cowardice, that’s why I’m a Carmelite.
MARIAN Can you take us to Sherwood Forest?
DIANA It would be dangerous.
TUCK If you think it is wise, I will take you, anything to stop Prince John and his unjust ways. Let us go to Sherwood Forest!
1.6 – Town
(Pre K 3, Pre K 4, Tinker, Peddler, Marian, Tuck, Isabella, Diana, Robin, Little John, Will Scarlett, Allin-a-dale, Much, Saffiya, Royston, Will, Azeem, Arthur, Gilbert, Jane, Gamble, Clorinda)
TINKER Can anyone spare some bread?
PEDDLER Arms, arms for the poor!
TINKER Oh, what’s the use, no one is going to help us. Look, even those workers can’t catch a break.
PEDDLER With all the taxes going to Prince John’s stupid castle wall, there’s no money for infrastructure.
PRE-K 3 and PRE-K 4 Tell us about it!
Pre K 3 and 4 sing “London Bridge.”
TINKER Look it is Robin Hood and the Merry Men!
ROBIN
19 Don’t worry workers! Here is some money and food for all of you! You’ll get London Bridge fixed in no time!
PRE-K 3 and PRE-K 4 That’s what I’m talking about!
ROBIN Take care.
PRE-K 3 and PRE-K 4 Comb your hair!
Pre-K 3 and Pre-K 4 exit.
ROYSTON Here’s some bread for you too!
TINKER Wow! Thanks! Where did you get all of this?
SAFFIYA What are you a cop? It’s free bread, relax. Sheesh. Twenty questions with this guy.
PEDDLAR She means we’re grateful; God bless you merry men and long live King Richard!
MERRY MEN Huzzah!
The Peddlar and Tinker exit.
AZEEM Christian, let us rest here before we make our way to the next raid.
ROBIN Good idea Azeem.
LITTLE JOHN You heard the Robin Hoods.
ROBIN Just one Hood. Not hoods.
LITTLE
20 You heard Robin One Hood. We’ll rest here.
ROBIN Robin. Hood. Two words, I don’t get it why is that so hard?
WILL Forget it; let’s get some shuteye.
All the Merry Men rest when Tuck, Diana, Isabella and Marian enter.
TUCK Hiya Friends! (They all startle awake ready to fight.) Woah! How do you expect to give the old slip to that mean old sheriff of Nottingham if you can let us catch you so unaware.
LITTLE JOHN Friar Tuck good to see you but who are these people and why does everyone keep blowing our hideouts! It’s a HIDEout, get it?
ROBIN Relax Little John, this is Maid Marian, she hired me and Azeem to save Much the Miller’s son and told me to find you guys, she’s the one who thought we should band together!
MUCH Much appreciated from much by the way!
GILBERT Man, those ladies are some hot box of rocks you know what I’m saying?
ARTHUR Give me some.
TUCK You two, five Hail Mary’s each.
WHITEHAND You got us there padre.
CLORINDA I don’t think she’s that pretty.
21 ALLIN-A-DALE Good to see you friar but what gives?
ISABELLA Tell them Marian!
MARIAN Well, it looks like Prince John is sending the Sheriff of Nottingham himself to find you guys and have you all executed.
SCARLET Tell us something we don’t know.
DIANA Yes, but he is going to punish the townspeople until either you turn yourselves in or they catch you.
JANE That won’t be happening anytime soon.
ROBIN OK, thanks Marian for the heads up, can you go back to the court and try to get some more information?
MARIAN I’ll try. Thanks Friar, and be careful, all of you!
1.7 –Castle
BISHOP Your highness, I found Marian and this Friar sneaking out of the castle walls and aiding the Merry Men!
SHERIFF What!?
HISS Wow, you are spineless Bishop.
JOHN See, this is why we need that wall.
MARIAN Yes, it is true! We think you are a monster!
DIANA
22 Long live King Richard!
ISABELLA You’re the phony king of England!
ALL Long live King Richard!
JOHN First the muffins and now this! Ugh you’re so annoying! You’re my cousin so I can’t have you killed, ah, I got it! I’ll do the next best thing! I’ll have you married!
GUY Oh Oh ! Can I marry her? Please?! Please!
ISABELLA This is so gross.
TUCK And wrong! Bishop, I’m going to get Old Testament all over you the second I get the chance!
DIANA You’re evil!
JOHN Oh just wait till the second act!
SHERIFF Sir, as much as I want to see these traitorous women married off, shouldn’t we address the problem of this Robin Hood as well?
JOHN Yes, of course. Hmm. Oh wait, I have a devilish idea. Hiss! Evil laugh. (They both laugh.) Ok enough— write this down. I decree that we shall have an archery contest! We know this Robin Hood is an archer and he won’t be able to resist the trap! The winner gets a golden arrow and the hand of Maid Marian.
DIANA How dare you!
JOHN
23 I have decreed it! Come on Hiss; let’s go cancel some holidays.
John and Hiss leave with the Sheriff.
GUY Hey, Maid Marian, you ready to be Guy’s Lady? Just so you know I’m totally going to win the golden arrow and have your hand in marriage.
MARIAN I think I’m going to throw up.
GUY That’s cause you’re excited to be Mrs. Guy of Gisborne. Peace out!
Guy leaves with the Bishop.
TUCK Oh Robin, with King Richard gone you’re our only hope.
INTERMISSION
24 2.1 The Town
(John, Hiss, Knight, Sheriff, Bishop, Guy, Knight, Marian, Isabella, Diana, Soldier 1, Soldier 2, Soldier 3, Robin, Little John, Scarlett, Allin-a-dale, Much, Saffiya, Royston, Will, Azeem, Arthur, Gilbert, Jane, Gamble, Clorinda)
JOHN Ah what a beautiful day Hiss! Our trap is set; the bait is ready and we...
HISS Evil laugh?
JOHN No, I don’t think so, I want to try something new, let’s try a cruel chuckle. (They chuckle.)
HISS Excellent.
JOHN You may proceed Sir Knight!
KNIGHT Attention everyone!
SHERIFF Listen up!
KNIGHT After three rounds we are left with two contestants. Sir Guy of Gisbourne (Everyone boos.) and Senor Biff of Wellington. (Everyone cheers.) This is our final round of the archery contest. Archers begin!
They go to aim their arrows and Robin throws off his costume.
ROBIN I’m here to rescue Marian, our damsel in distress!
WOMEN Who you calling damsels?
MARIAN
25 Do I look like I’m in distress? (She punches the Sheriff, a fight breaks out.)
JOHN It’s Robin! SEIZE HIM!!
There’s a big fight.
SCARLET These guys are tough to fight!
CLORINDA We should get out of here!
AZEEM Come Christian!
ROBIN I can get prince john!
AZEEM Let’s go! We will fight another day!
The Merry Men retreat with Maid Marian and the women.
HISS Well, that was like camping. In tents, get it?
JOHN There is literally no one I don’t despise right now.
SHERIFF Sire, please give me the order to burn all of Sherwood forest!
JOHN What’s that going to do? We’ll all starve, this is medieval England we’re not exactly vegetarians! Man, this awful I was having a really good day.
SHERIFF The townspeople are going to rebel, Robin Hood encourages them—makes them brave!
HISS Sire, there is one option we haven’t explored. Maudlin, the witch of Papplewick and the evil prioress of Kirklees.
26
JOHN Those ladies give me the heebee jeebees, they freak me out.
BISHOP You can’t use them they are sorceresses, heretics!
SHERIFF They are evil and their sorcery can help us!
JOHN Hmm. It’s true, those broads are some bad mamajamas. It’s decided. Get them, in the meantime. I’m tired; this evil monarch stuff is exhausting.
2.2 – Jail
(Knight, Sheriff, Kindergarten)
SHERIFF Round up the townspeople! This insolence will be accounted for! We’ll send a message. I got it! We’ll throw anyone who has ever benefitted from Robin’s thievery to pay the price! Send me the villagers!
The Kindergarten class enters.
SHERIFF You heard Prince John! You are all going straight to jail!
ALL KINDERGARTEN But why?!
KNIGHT Prince John knows that Robin Hood has been paying your bills. To Jail with you all!
1 KINDERGARTEN The kindergarten wants to say.
2 KINDERGARTEN We paid our bills without delay.
3 KINDERGARTEN We did our job and paid Prince John.
27 4 KINDERGARTEN We tried our best to get along.
5 KINDERGARTEN You can’t make us go to jail.
6 KINDERGARTEN You haven’t heard us tell our tale.
7 KINDERGARTEN We would like to be heard too.
8 KINDERGARTEN Put your foot inside our shoe.
9 KINDERGARTEN We were starving and so cold.
10 KINDERGARTEN When Robin gave us all that gold.
11 KINDERGARTEN We had nowhere else to go.
12 KINDERGARTEN We were poor for this whole show!
13 KINDERGARTEN Finally we had a chance.
14 KINDERGARTEN Now you’re treat us just like ants.
15 KINDERGARTEN We may be small but we are mighty.
16 KINDERGARTEN We don’t want to become fighty.
17 KINDERGARTEN Let us go! We’ve done no wrong!
18 KINDERGARTEN Let us go, please hear our song!
19 KINDERGARTEN The kindergarten will rise up.
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20 KINDERGARTEN The kindergarten has had enough.
21 KINDERGARTEN Please don’t take us off to jail.
22 KINDERGARTEN We don’t have enough for bail.
23 KINDERGARTEN Leave us alone we’ve done no wrong!
KNIGHT You’re off to jail without a song!
The Kindergarteners sing “The Ants Go Marching” then exit.
SHERIFF I heard that!
2.3 – Forrest
(Red Roger, Richard at the Lee, Robin, Little John, Scarlett, Allin-a-dale, Much, Saffiya, Royston, Will, Azeem, Arthur, Gilbert, Jane, Gamble, Clorinda, Marian, Isabella, Diana)
RICHARD Are you sure Sir Roger of Doncaster that this is the right place?
ROGER Man, Richard, we got this, they don’t call me Red Roger for nothing.
RICHARD True. True.
ROGER OK you remember what we’re supposed to do?
RICHARD Yeah man, I got this.
ROGER
29 OK here we go. (Loud.) Oh Sir Richard at the Lee, we’re lost in this Sherwood Forest.
RICHARD I Sherwood like it if we could find our way out! You know, with all this money we have on us.
WILL Perhaps we can help!
Alan-a-dale It is us Robin Hood and his Merry Men!
SAFFIYA Is that a thing, are we going with Merry Men, because I know Bold Jane isn’t really into.
LITTLE No, we’ll go with it.
Excellent. We’re the Merry Men, and you have to pay the tax to cross through Sherwood Forest!
ROGER It’s fine, that’s why they call me Red Roger
RICHARD Who us? We’re traveling to the Blue Fish Inn. So we can light it up. You know, the battlefield,
ROGER A.k.a.
RICHARD The actual battlefield, we are helping King Richard recruit soldiers.
ARTHUR King Richard the Lion heart? He’s back from the Crusades?
ROGER We’re going to see him now, come on follow us.
AZEEM I don’t think it is wise Christian to follow these men.
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ROBIN I’m sure you’re right, but if King Richard is back he can help us stop his evil brother!
LITTLE JOHN King Richard is our country’s only hope.
ROBIN OK then, you men go; Azeem and I will stay here.
WHITEHAND What about you Robin? Will you two be safe?
AZEEM Don’t worry about us; if you’re not back we’ll search for you.
ROGER Let’s ride out.
The Merry Men leave with Roger and Richard leaving Azeem and Robin. The Witch shows up.
AZEEM This one is a sorcerer.
ROBIN Pa-lease. There’s no such thing as...
WITCH Finally the majestic Robin Hood and Azeem, it is I Maudlin, The Witch of Papplewick! Your bows and swords are no match for me! The black magic I wield will crush you all.
ROBIN You’ll never get away with this!
WITCH We already have!
2.4 - Forest
LITTLE Where are you taking us?
ROGER
31 It is right here, just over this hedge.
RICHARD Right into our...
LITTLE JOHN It is a trap!
The Prioress freezes everyone with her evil powers.
ARTHUR It is the evil Prioress of Kirklees!
PRIORESS Yes that’s me, and yes, the legends are true! Prince John has hired me and the Witch to have you all turned to stone. You’ll be a little easier to take off to jail when you’re stone! Men, take them to the jail in Nottingham!
The soldiers come to move the frozen Merry Men, but JANE, ROYSTON, CLORINDA and MUCH escape.
SOLDIER 4 Can’t you turn them into something else other than stone! They are heavy! This is medieval times we’re gonna have to pull them by hand.
PRIORESS Silence! Take them away.
SOLDIER 4 Fine. I just wish we thought this through.
SOLDIER 2 It’s like moving Stonehenge.
PRIORESS Just move them!
Soldier 1 It is not easy!
They comically try to move them. While hiding, and the others are exiting.
PRIORESS
32 Forget it, you know what, doesn’t matter, they will be here forever!
JANE This is a curse!
ROYSTON The curse of Papplewick! It’s black magic turns anyone to stone. Only a blessing from a prior with a pure heart can break it.
JANE What about the relic of St. Barnabas in Nottingham! We can steal it!
MUCH Good luck, the Bishop of Hereford is in Prince John’s pocket! There’s no way we can get into the Cathedral of Nottingham.
CLORINDA A prior with a pure heart? Friar Tuck! Let’s go.
JANE Oh Robin... I hope we don’t let you down!
2.4 - Jail
(Soldier 1, Soldier 2, Soldier 3, Tuck, George-a-greene, Butcher, Tanner, Tall Palmer, Sheriff, Robin)
Soldier 3 Where do you think you’re going Friar?
TUCK I’m doing my Christian duty and visiting the imprisoned and to hear confessions. Year of Mercy bro.
Soldier 2 Let him through, he’s harmless.
Soldier 4 OK, let’s get a nap in then.
PALMER Is there any hope for us Friar Tuck?
33 TUCK You kept your faith, and the Lord is sending an angel. Robin Hood is busting you out tonight!
George-a-Greene Praise the Lord!
TUCK Here, I snuck in some files you can break yourself loose.
BUTCHER Thank you friar!
TUCK Thank the good Lord.
SHERIFF Don’t thank him just yet Friar! We’re onto your plan! Look who we found at your Church looking for you!
BUTCHER We’re not afraid Robin Hood will be coming to rescue us soon!
SHERIFF Ha! I don’t think so! He’s tied up, or should I say, time waits for no man, except maybe him!
George-a-Greene Oh no they have Robin!
Robin comes in chained escorted by Soldiers.
SHERIFF So looks like it all ends tonight, yep, Prince John is going to execute you all in the morning, only a King’s pardon can do that and well, King Richard is off fighting the Crusades. Hahahahaha!
2.5 – Castle
(All) PRINCE JOHN Oh this is it Hiss! We finally end all of our troubles today! We will finally, are the pre K kids still backstage?
HISS
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No Sire.
JOHN Good! We’ll finally destroy our enemies tonight!
MARIAN Not so fast!
MARIAN Unhand those citizens!
SHERIFF How did you break the curse!?
JOHN Wha— wait what?! What’s happening?
HISS Only a relic or a prior’s blessing can break that curse!
KING RICHARD How about a relic from the Holy Hand! Retrieved from the Crusades!
TOWNSPEOPLE King Richard! All Hail King Richard!
KING RICHARD Hello brother! You abuse our father’s crown! Marian our cousin sent word!
JOHN Nooooo! Sieze them!
They fight.
KING RICHARD Face it brother you’re beaten.
JOHN Fine! Fine! You win! You always win!
KING RICHARD Justice and peace will always prevail John!
JOHN
35 This is just like it was when we were kids. Mother and father always loved you best.
HISS What makes you say that? “A Flashback”
HENRY II Of both my sons, prince john and prince Richard. Richard is my favorite.
QUEEN Oh darling, you’re King Henry II you should love both your sons equally.
HENRY II I do love them, but RIcahrd is more mature
QUEEN What makes you say that.
HENRY II See?
QUEEN True. Yeah, give all the power to Richard, that won’t get John upset or anything.
HENRY II Exactly, this won’t come into conflict later.
The exit.
JOHN Fine! Fine! Take us off to jail. Ugh, so long for my wall, it was gonna be a great wall.
ROBIN Thanks Marian and thank you King Richard for coming back!
KING RICHARD No thank you Robin, I pardon you and all your friends! And one more thing. Power means responsibility, so I knight you Sir Robin, the new and proper Sheriff of Nottingham! Play trumpets! Let us have revelry!
They all shake hands and all are happy.
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ROBIN So um... Marian. I was thinking...
MARIAN Don’t even think about it; I’m like forty years older than you. Let me know next time you need rescuing.
AZEEM So Christian, what is your next adventure?
ROBIN My adventure? You mean our adventure? I was thinking I’m going to need some trust worthy deputies, what do you say Merry Men?
ALL Huzzah!
THE END
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