MONTH END

“Communism is "Everybody's for us not a state of got to believe affairs which is to be in something. established, an ideal to which I believe I’ll have another beer" reality will have to adjust itself,” said Karl Marx. He was wandering through Hampstead Heath, absent- mindedly brooding, deep in thought, his brow furrowed. “We call communism the real movement which abolishes the present state of things,” he said aloud to no one in particular. He seemed completely oblivious of the moustached comic striding stooped beside him, his prominent eyebrows raised as high as Karl’s were Marx vs Marx knitted together. “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, Karl Marx, author of The Communist Manifesto and finding it everywhere, Das Kapital, died in 1883. Groucho Marx, comedian, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies,” wit and raconteur, was born in 1890. So, of course, said Groucho Marx. they could never have met. But if they had… Karl looked to his strange companion as though he had never laid eyes on him before. “From the moment I picked “Reason has always existed, that determines their

Which, of course, he hadn’t. your book up until I laid it but not always in a reasonable ALAMY consciousness,” said Karl. “A spectre is haunting Europe down, I was convulsed with form,” muttered Karl, under “Well, everybody’s got – the spectre of communism!” laughter. Someday I intend his breath. to believe in something. he growled. reading it,” said Groucho. “Humour is reason gone I believe I’ll have another “Well, whatever it is, I’m This provoked Karl no mad,” said Groucho, wagging beer,” said Groucho. against it,” said Groucho. end. From his leather satchel his finger and his eyebrows. “What? Are you leaving?” “I refuse to join any club that he produced a copy of The “If you find it hard to laugh at asked Karl. would have me as a member.” Communist Manifesto. “Read yourself, I would be happy to “I’ve had a perfectly “Money is the universal, it!” he roared. do it for you.” wonderful evening,” said self-constituted value of all Groucho flicked through the “The question whether Groucho, “but this wasn’t it. things. Hence it has robbed book, his fingers touching the objective truth can be And stop pointing that beard the whole world of its proper pages as though they might be attributed to human thinking at me, it might go off!” value,” Karl said, his humour laced with arsenic. “This is not is not a question of theory, not improving. a book that should be set aside but is a practical question,” “While money can’t buy lightly,” Groucho concluded exclaimed Karl. happiness, it certainly lets a moment later. “It should be Groucho was bewildered. Andrew Sawers you choose your own form flung with great force!” “There’s one way to find out is a freelance business and financial journalist. of misery,” retorted Groucho. Karl turned in fury. Before if a man is honest: ask him. He is a former editor “Why, look at me. I worked my he could speak, Groucho said: If he says ‘yes’, you know he of Financial Director way up from nothing to a state “Why, a four-year-old child is crooked,” he said. and has worked on Accountancy Age, of extreme poverty!” could understand this. Run “It is not the consciousness Business Age and “Have you not read out and find me a four-year- of men that determines Commercial Lawyer. Das Kapital?” asked Karl, old child. I can’t make head their being, but, on the He tweets as astonished and angry. nor tail out of it.” contrary, their social being @Mr_Numbers

The highlights of the July/August 2016 issue of The Treasurer include: Affinity Water's group treasurer, Shaun Kennedy, discusses bond issues and reviews, on page 20. Ways IN THIS to ensure success when presenting to the board, on page 24. We look at the key stages ISSUE: of a request for proposal process, on page 28. How best to balance the right to privacy in the modern world, on page 34. Can networking work for you? Find out on page 42.

46 The Treasurer July/August 2016 www.treasurers.org/thetreasurer