18 Features August 31, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Alien vs. Predator: as usual, humans screwed it up

Courtesy of 20th Century Fox

DOUGLAS MILLER After some groundbreaking discoveries on Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff the part of the humans, three Predators show up and it is revealed that the temple functions as prov- Many of the staple genre franchises that chil- ing ground for young Predator warriors. As the dren of the 1980’s grew up with like Nightmare on first alien warriors are born, chaos ensues – with Elm street or Halloween are now over twenty years Weyland’s team stuck right in the middle. Of old and are beginning to loose appeal, both with course, lots of people and monsters die. their original audience and the next generation of Observant fans will notice that Anderson’s filmgoers. One technique Hollywood has been story is very similar his own Resident Evil, but it exploiting recently to breath life into dying fran- works much better here. His premise is actually chises is to combine the keystone character from sort of interesting – especially ideas like Predator one’s with another’s – usually ending up with a involvement in our own development. Anderson “versus” film. Freddy vs. Jason was the first, and tries to allow his story to unfold and build in the now we have Alien vs. Predator, which certainly style of Alien, withholding the monsters almost will not be the last. Already, the studios have toyed altogether until the second half of the film. This around with making Superman vs. Batman, does not exactly work. We have seen this sort of Michael Myers vs. Pinhead, and others. Perhaps it story many times before, and the uniformly wood- is beside the point that few of the film versions at en cast does not help generate much attachment or least have been very good – and how could they interest from the auidence. Also, despite the ever be? There is little suspense in watching clearly lengthy buildup period, most of the revelations in immortal characters bash each other’s brains out. the picture are revealed at once by characters that The uneven but nevertheless surprisingly seem to exist only to deliver exposition. entertaining Alien vs. Predator film may prove to Nevertheless, Anderson should be cut some slack be one of the only exceptions to the trend when because at least he plays his material straight, this cycle of crossover movies dies out. Unlike avoiding the self-awareness/self-mockery that most other many franchise’s heroes or villains, Aliens of this genre has degenerated to. and Predators are mortal, and actually make rather Once the Predators land and face-huggers complimentary foils. start hatching, the movie becomes quite exciting. The idea of Aliens and Predators facing off The young Predators proving their worth in the predates the entire current “versus” trend and temple are not so strong and the aliens in this film could perhaps have some validity within the films’ are more vicious than ever, making the results of own universes. Fanboys have been salivating over the conflict less predictable than one might expect. the potential match up since at least 1990, where Anderson and his team used as many practi- an Alien skull was seen in the trophy case of a cal effects as possible over computer generated Predator monster in Predator II. Comic series were imagery, and it really pays off. The battles look fre- spun-off, videogames were made, but the quently amazing, far better than anything seen in inevitable movie got stuck in development hell for previous entries for either series. However, some over twelve years. fans might dislike the new bulky Predator look, That was until 2002, when writer/director and the monster’s unmasked face looks very bad in Paul Anderson (Soldier, Resident Evil) approached comparison to the other Predator movies. Also, 20th Century Fox with a vision of a crossover that There is intriguing alliance by the end of the has finally been made. Anderson set his story in the picture that might bother some people, but is present on earth, which would place it after the found in the fanboy acclaimed Alien vs. Predator end of the Predator series timeline but long before comic. Anderson handles it believably, but regard- the Nostromo discovers the derelict spacecraft in less some segments of film’s audience may not Alien. approve. The film opens with a satellite owned by the Many of the flaws and inconsistencies of the Weyland Corporation detecting heat blooms on film ultimately released in theaters can be blamed Lutheran/Episcopal Campus an island in Antarctica. Cursory analysis of the data squarely on Fox Studios. Alien vs. Predator was soon reveals that the ancient temple appears to filmed with the intent of receiving an R rating, but exhibit traits of Aztec, Egyptian, and Cambodian at the last second Fox took the editing of the pic- Ministry culture – meaning the society that made this tem- ture over from Anderson and cutting the violence ple could be the master culture that human civi- down to PG-13 level and removing scenes simply lization originated from. Charles Bishop Weyland because the special effects were not complete, (Lance Hendrickson), a billionaire on the verge of including major action scenes. Anderson’s shoot- invites you to a user-friendly lunchtime his death, quickly assembles a team of scientists, ing script was 110 pages while the released product anthropologists, and archeologists to investigate was 87 minutes, meaning at least 20 minutes of study and prayer group the discovery. Weyland also recruits renowned the intended movie was removed. There will likely explorer Alexa “Lex” Woods (Sanaa Lathan) to be an extended R rated cut on DVD. Those inter- lead the expedition. ested in what the movie should be like can read the Thursdays from 11:30 - 12:45 The group quickly arrives at the site of the novelization, which is based on the original shoot- heat blooms. While all of this is happening, the ing script. at Commons 327 Predators are monitoring their progress from their Alien vs. Predator is an entertaining enough spacecraft and captive, long dormant Alien Queen film in its current state. While far from the movie within the temple is awakened and begins to some fans dreamed of, it at least ends up a semi- Light lunch provided. Bring your own beverage. Questions -- spawn eggs. Like Alien Resurrection, the Aliens are legitimate Alien or Predator entry instead merely a reduced to the equivalent of Jurassic Park marketing gimmick like Freddy vs. Jason. contact Pastor Sandy Carlson Alexis at [email protected] dinosaurs, which might disappoint those hoping However, the movie should ultimately be judged for a more intelligent mediation on the species’ on the DVD version, which promises to a whole or Menalcus Lankford at [email protected] existence. lot complete than the movie put in theaters.