2/4/2016 1 Managing Complex Parental Relationships

2/4/2016

Managing Complex Parental Relationships

IAASE Winter Conference

February 18, 2016

These materials and the presentation made based on these materials are solely educational in nature and do not constitute legal advice to any person. These materials and the presentation based on these materials are intended as advertising, but not as a solicitation to create an attorney/client relationship between the presenter or the presenter’s law firm and any attendee of the presentation.

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Overview

 Parent Management 101

 Dealing with “Difficult” Parents ◦ The Helicopter Parent ◦ The Aggressive Advocate ◦ The Uncooperative Parent ◦ Divorced/Separated Parents

Parent Management 101

 According to a 2001 MetLife Survey of the American teacher, parent management was listed as the most challenging struggle for new teachers, beating out management of student discipline and testing.

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Parent Management 101

 Parent management is one reason that 40-50% of new teachers leave the profession within five years.

 32% of principals surveyed said they were very or fairly likely to leave the profession, according to a 2012 MetLife Survey.

Parent Management 101

 Commonality

◦ Parents trust schools with the most precious thing in their life – their children.

◦ Even when dealing with difficult parents, it is important to remember that you both share a common goal – to do what is best for their children.

Parent Management 101

 Building Rapport

◦ Perception can be more powerful than reality.

◦ Of course, you care deeply about your students and value parent involvement. However, it is important that parents feel that is the case.

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Parent Management 101

 Communication

◦ Regular, timely and purposeful communication is vital to building positive relationships.

◦ Follow up with parents in a timely manner (within the same day, if possible).

◦ Even when dealing with difficult parents, it is important to remain pleasant, positive, and professional.

Parent Management 101

 Engage in active listening

◦ Listen

◦ Question

◦ Reflect/Paraphrase

◦ Be empathetic

Parent Management 101

 Monitor defensiveness

◦ Verbal (e.g., talking over parents, defending the school’s position before understanding the parent’s side of the story, speaking to parents in a condescending manner)

◦ Non-verbal cues (e.g., arms crossed, speaking in a loud voice, no eye contact)

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Parent Management 101

 When communicating with parents, ask yourself:

◦ How am I perceiving this parent?

◦ How am I contributing to the situation?

◦ What else is going on?

◦ How would I feel if I were the parent?

Parent Management 101

 When dealing with parent complaints, provide copies of and follow applicable Board of Education Policies:

◦ 2:260 (Uniform Grievance Procedure)

◦ 6:260 (Complaints About Curriculum Instructional Materials and Programs)

◦ 7:20 and 7:180 (Student Harassment and Bullying Policies)

The Helicopter Parent

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The Helicopter Parent

 Hypothetical

◦ Ms. Smith, mother of seventh-grade student, Amanda, showed up at school during second period demanding to speak with Amanda’s teacher, Mr. Dunn, immediately. Ms. Smith also demanded to visit each of Amanda’s classes that day, have lunch with Amanda, and generally spend the day with Amanda.

The Helicopter Parent

 Questions

◦ How do you respond to Ms. Smith’s request? What, if any, follow-up questions would you ask?

◦ Would you grant or deny the request?

◦ Does Ms. Smith have a right to visit Amanda at school, during school hours? To what extent?

The Helicopter Parent

 Board Policy 8:30 (Visitors to and on School Property)

◦ Requires visitors to report to principal and comply with all school rules and procedures

◦ Provides that conferences with teachers will be held outside the school day or during the teacher’s conference/planning period

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The Helicopter Parent

 Board Policy 8:30 (Visitors to and on School Property)

◦ Requests for access to the school building and/or to interview personnel or a student must be facilitated according to District procedures/Superintendent guidelines.

The Helicopter Parent

 Request to Access School Property and/or Interview Personnel

◦ Requests should be permitted, provided it is done in a way that does not disrupt the educational environment.

The Helicopter Parent

◦ Special Considerations for Students Receiving Special Education and Related Services (or Being Evaluated to Determine Eligibility)

 The parent, an independent educational evaluator, or qualified health professional retained by or on behalf of the parent must be afforded reasonable access to educational facilities, personnel, classrooms, and buildings related to the child.

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The Helicopter Parent

 Prior to visiting a school, the parent, IEE, or qualified professional may be required to inform the principal or superintendent in writing of the proposed visit, purpose of the visit, and approximate duration of the visit.

 The visitor and district then need to arrange a visit at a mutually agreeable time.

 Visitors still need to follow school/district policies and procedures.

The Helicopter Parent

 Hypothetical

◦ The middle school principal received an anonymous complaint of an alleged inappropriate relationship between Mr. Dunn and a seventh-grade student. The student in question allegedly bragged frequently about their relationship in class.

The Helicopter Parent

 Hypothetical

◦ The principal decided to interview all of the students in the class, including Amanda. Pursuant to the school’s practice, the principal called each student’s parent and advised that she received a complaint concerning a staff member. She told each parent that she planned to conduct the interviews later that afternoon and offered to have them present during the interview.

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The Helicopter Parent

 Hypothetical

◦ During their call, Ms. Smith told the principal that wanted Amanda to stay out of it and that she was refusing to allow the principal to interview her.

The Helicopter Parent

 Questions

◦ May the principal question Amanda without the parent’s consent?

◦ Assuming the parent cannot make it to the school that afternoon, does the principal need to postpone the interview until Ms. Smith can attend?

◦ If DCFS or local law enforcement requests to interview a student at school (assuming you allow it), do you need parent consent?

The Helicopter Parent

 In loco parentis doctrine

◦ When students are in school or at school- sponsored activities, school staff stands in place of the parent.

◦ School personnel are legally authorized to take all necessary actions to assure the health/safety of students in their care.

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The Aggressive Advocate

 Common complaints

◦ Student disciplinary decisions

◦ Grades issued/testing procedures

◦ Class/teacher placement

◦ Insistence that child is (or is not) eligible for special education and related services

The Aggressive Advocate

 Possible Applicable Board Policies

◦ 2:260 (Uniform Grievance Procedure) ◦ 7:190 (Student Discipline) ◦ 7:200 (Suspension Procedures) ◦ 7:210 (Expulsion Procedures) ◦ 7:230 (Misconduct by Students with Disabilities)

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The Aggressive Advocate

 Hypothetical

◦ About a month after he was hired, one of Mr. Duffy’s fourth-grade students, Tommy, sneaked into a closet and hid there. Mr. Duffy searched frantically for the student. When he discovered the student was in the closet, he reported the incident to the school principal. After interviewing the respective parties, the principal decided to issue a one-day out-of- school suspension.

The Aggressive Advocate

 Hypothetical

◦ In order to avoid punishment, Tommy told his parents that Mr. Duffy locked him in the closet. The parents complained to the principal, demanded the suspension be rescinded, and demanded Mr. Duffy’s immediate termination.

The Aggressive Advocate

 Questions

◦ How would you respond to the parents’ allegations and demands?

◦ How can the parents challenge the disciplinary decision?

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The Aggressive Advocate

 Be empathetic. Sometimes it is easier for parents to blame someone else for their child’s academic, behavioral, or social issues than to admit their child has a problem.

 However, if you determine the decision to be fair and reasonable, hold firm to that decision.

The Aggressive Advocate

 Maintain a positive the attitude when presenting concerns, if possible.

 Try to put the problem in perspective for the parent.

The Aggressive Advocate

 Go into the conversation ready to present an action plan to improve and include the parent in the solution.

 Assure the parent that the child can overcome the problem if you all work together.

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The Uncooperative Parent

 Hypothetical

◦ Ms. Murphy, Samantha’s art teacher, received a call from Samantha’s mother, Ms. Turner, requesting an extension on her daughter’s art project. The project was due the same day as an advanced placement exam, which Ms. Turner considered more important.

The Uncooperative Parent

 Hypothetical

◦ Ms. Murphy told Ms. Turner that she could not make an exception for Samantha, after which Ms. Turner scoffed, “This is art, not brain surgery.” When Ms. Murphy refused again, Ms. Turner complained to the principal.

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The Uncooperative Parent

 Questions

◦ How do you respond to Ms. Turner’s demands?

◦ How do you explain your decision to Ms. Turner?

The Uncooperative Parent

 It is the school’s responsibility to make sure students are learning in school and the parent’s responsibility to make sure their children are doing homework and studying at home.

The Uncooperative Parent

 Being empathetic and listening to parents does not include accommodating parents’ unreasonable demands.

 Explain the basis for your decision and reference any applicable district/school policies and procedures in place.

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The Uncooperative Parent

 Put the issue in perspective for the parents.

◦ If a parent is requesting an extension for a conflict (another assignment, extracurricular activity, etc.), what message is being sent to the child?

Divorced/Separated Parents

 School personnel often become involved in all aspects of divorce and/or separation proceedings, including the following: ◦ Pre-divorce planning ◦ Pending divorce ◦ Custody litigation ◦ Post-divorce revisions to custody and/or parenting agreements

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Custody and Guardianship

 A guardian - an individual appointed by a court to act as the custodian of a child and to provide for education and nurture of the child.

 Natural parents retain all rights of guardianship over his/her child, even through a divorce, unless the parent’s rights have been terminated or a parenting agreement entered as a result of a divorce states otherwise.

Joint Custody

 Parenting Plan ◦ Specifies each parent’s powers, rights, and responsibilities regarding personal care for the child and authority to make major decisions (e.g., education, health care, and religious training).

Joint Custody

 When a court orders joint custody, the school should look to the joint parenting agreement/order to determine who has educational decision-making authority.

 Unless otherwise agreed or ordered by a court, the custodial parent, by default, has authority to make educational decisions on behalf of the child.

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Joint Custody

 Picking the Students up from School

◦ The District should look to the Parenting Plan or any orders of protection in the student’s file to determine who can pick the child up from school.

◦ If the Parenting Plan does not address school pick up, the District should look to see who exercises “caretaking functions” under the plan to determine who can pick up the student.

Student Records

 For purposes of student record notices and access, a “parent” is a person who is the natural parent of the student or other person who has the primary responsibility for the care and upbringing of the student.

Student Records

 Whenever notice requires that notice be sent to parents, the District should send notices to both parents, unless the District has a certified copy of a court order stating otherwise.

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Student Records

 When a parent requests and receives certain student records, schools must mail copies of the same documents to the other parent, unless a legal document bars the parent’s access from those records.

Student Records

 This special requirement applies to release of the following:

 Reports or records concerning the student’s academic progress,  Reports of the student’s emotional and physical health,  Notices of school initiated parent-teacher conferences,  Notices of major parent-pupil school-sponsored events,  the school calendar

Student Records

 Court Orders

◦ Court orders can cut off a parent’s right to inspect or obtain a student’s records.

◦ If the principal or records custodian knows of such an order of protection, access to student records must be denied.

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Student Records

 Court Orders

◦ When an order of protection is filed with the school, it must be included in the protected student’s file.

◦ The District also must notify its school employees of any order of protection barring access to the student and/or his/her records.

Student Records

 Court Orders

◦ If a parent requests records and there is a court order barring access, request documentation that the order has been vacated.

◦ If the parents fails to produce documentation, the request must be denied.

Divorced/Separated Parents

◦ Hypothetical

 Early in the summer, Mr. Jones arrived to register his 14-year-old daughter, Amanda, for school. He mentioned that he and Amanda’s mother, Ms. Smith, are divorced. He also said that Amanda was visiting her mother for the summer in St. Louis, but would be living with him in the fall.

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Divorced/Separated Parents

◦ Questions

 Can Mr. Jones register Amanda for school?

 What documents would you look for when making this determination?

Divorced/Separated Parents

◦ Hypothetical (cont.)

 The school found a joint parenting order in Amanda’s student file from her seventh-grade school year. The order granted sole custody to Ms. Jones and granted visitation to Mr. Smith on alternative weekends.

Divorced/Separated Parents

◦ Questions

 What should the school do next?

 Is there any obligation to notify Ms. Smith?

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Divorced/Separated Parents

◦ Hypothetical (cont.)

 Upon the school’s request, Mr. Jones provided an updated court order granting him sole custody of Amanda and providing Ms. Smith with visitation rights on Wednesday evenings and alternative weekends.

Divorced/Separated Parents

◦ Questions

 Can Mr. Jones enroll Amanda?

 Do one or both parents have authority to make educational decisions for Amanda? Who has this authority?

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