The Year of the Lord in Married Life Part I: Time of Preparation

A & H B The Year of the Lord in Married Life Part I: Time of Preparation The Millennium Year others. Usually we receive a fairly precise answer. But if we were to ask on the millennium eve At the time of writing we still have some months “what is time?” we would surely be kept on hold to go before the second millennium gives way to for quite a while waiting for a straightforward the third. What does this change of millennium answer. Yet should such a question not prompt do to us? Does it put us in a mood of timely us to rather more thoughtfulness? Does it not reflectiveness? Does it inspire euphoria? Does it express real feelings we have been pondering deep leave us apathetic? Does it intimidate us? in our hearts for long time already, perhaps a Years of preparation have been going on at yearning to interrupt our daily routine for a while? every level – socially, politically and religiously – And is the usually simple question “what time is to prepare for this millennium event. The year it?” not symptomatic of the fact that in all our has not yet turned but business is in full swing. daily schedules, activities, commitments and pri- For the past twelve months the Eiffel Tower has orities we take the present time for granted? been showing in seconds, minutes and hours how Three years ago the Catholic Church, pon- long we still have to go until this century reaches dering the approach of the historic date, sought its end. Restaurants and ballrooms have been “to revive in the Christian people an awareness fully booked for a very long time. For adventur- of the value and meaning of the Jubilee of the ous bohemians special flights are planned to year 2000…in a great prayer of praise and enable people to experience the moment repeat- thanksgiving, especially for the gift of the Incar- edly. Entertainments such as the last part of nation of the Son of God and of the Redemp- Robert Wilson’s DDD (Death, Destruction and tion which he accomplished” (Apostolic letter Detroit) trilogy The Days Before verbalize an apoc- Tertio Millennio Adveniente, 31-32). In this spirit alyptic vision where yesterday and tomorrow the last three years of this decade have been dedi- are the same. The “Millennium Dome” is being cated to the Three Persons of the One Godhead: constructed for the end of the century – a tem- to Christ the Son, to the Holy Spirit and to God ple dedicated to mankind. In it a huge national the Father. Many activities have been offered to party will be carefully choreographed, with spec- those who have dedicated themselves to com- tacular music to swing into 2000. Will they memorating the significance of the birth of Christ. include a moment of silence or prayer during the evening, to commemorate the anniversary of the historical event at Bethlehem? The question Christian Rites and Rituals is: is this the real self-portrait we are leaving to the next generation – Ecce homo europaeum? From East to West, from North to South, in We regularly ask the question: “what time is every society, race, culture and generation, peo- it?” It is a question that is likely to be heard with ple like celebrating. There is a steady demand for especial frequency on this one evening above all rites and rituals and for the rediscovery of our 199 INTAMS review 5 (1999) Christian roots. The liturgical year offers us an New Year’s Eve excellent opportunity to respond to this demand. It brings us into close contact with the seasons The Calendar Year ends on 31 December and begins of the year and the seasons of life. It leads us on 1 January. However the Church Year begins at through different experiences of time and it Advent and ends with the Feast of Christ the King can strengthen and broaden our self-awareness – yet the New Year festivities are a very important if we are open for it. It is a source of growth to part of the secular year. Since we stand now at the a better understanding of ourselves and of God’s turning point of two millennia, it makes sense to history of salvation. begin with a consideration of the New Year Fes- tival. We know from the Judaeo-Christian tradi- tion that every new day begins in the evening. The new day is heralded by the appearance of the stars. “Your salvation lay in conversion and tran- quillity” (Is 30,15). Out of this evening peace of regeneration and recreation new power is created. Each new beginning repeatedly gives us a fresh opportunity to look back to the past and forward to the future. This is something every business undertaking has to do. Cars too are tested every year, and every few years people go for a checkup. Why can we not do the same? Could it not be a liberating moment for couples and children, on New Year’s Eve, to take time for each other and let our thoughts focus on taking stock of things? Jean-François Millet, L’Angélus, 1857-1859 ❧ The success of a marriage requires that we are “The meaning of the rites is clear: they empha- constantly taking stock and seeking direction. Where sise the fact that Christ is the Lord of time; he is do I stand, where do we stand; how far have I got, its beginning and its end; every year, every day how far have we got; are our goals still right; what and every moment are embraced by his Incar- mistakes have we made and what can we learn nation and Resurrection, and thus become part from them; where have we encountered one another of the fullness of time” (Tertio Millennio Adve- in our hearts; for which encounters should we be niente, 10). Where do we familiarize ourselves thankful; which encounters with others have not better with life cycles than on Christmas Eve been good for our relationship and for our children’s; or at the Easter Triduum, on Ascension Day or do we take enough responsibility for our children; at Pentecost? Each of these festivals anticipates and do we share this; which responsibility is easier God’s redemption and mirrors our own creation and which more difficult for us; how is it with my story at the same time. and our faith; what plans do we have to improve But to anticipate each of these great feasts, our marriage next year? ❧ we need a time of preparation. It can be com- pared to a sort of a cantus firmus of the solem- New Year’s Eve is often overwhelmed by fire- nities. Consequently we will first put the empha- works, alcohol and rowdiness. Do we crave all sis on the “Time of Preparation” leading up to this noise around us because we want to evade or the four solemn feasts. Let us look together at to drive out something within us? Could the some areas with a dimension of marital spiri- Jubilee Year not be the start of a habitual renewal tuality. of the eternal dimension to our own marriage? 200 A. & H. Brenninkmeijer The Advent Season Are we discovering in one another anything new, or anything evolving or anything unsuspected that was The New Year in the round of Christian festivals previously hidden? Are we helping each other to do begins from the first Sunday of Advent and ends this and encouraging it? Am I inclined to demand on the Solemnity of Christ the King, Lord of the this rather of my wife? Do we give our marriage Universe and Lord of History. Every Sunday com- enough time and space – not to make it go stale memorates the day of the Lord’s Resurrection. but to seek a way to mould it expressively and Before the first big Feast, that of Christmas, vibrantly? ❧ a time for getting into the right frame of mind, a time of preparation, a time of waiting has been If God is going to come into this world, there ordained – Advent. This preparation is necessary needs to be a shared experience of this prelimi- if we are to settle down and make the space nary time. The Christian faith tells in the four to put ourselves in the right frame of mind. In weeks of the source of life, of the foundation this lies a great life-wisdom, indeed something of trust, love and hope. Through the anticipa- foundational for life. To slow down, to adjust to tion of the birth of Jesus, a child through Mary, one’s fellow-men, to offer a listening ear and to Christmas becomes a love gift of God to men. encounter others caringly. For the most part Advent, a time of spiritual anticipation, to give our world functions in a very different way: God entry into my marriage and family. just as nowadays so little time is involved in the development of photos, I may not allocate much time listening to my children and/or spouse. The Season of Lent Just as nowadays clothes can be cleaned in an hour, so too with meals taken around the Lent is a time for the way inwards. It is a time microwave. This frenetic hurriedness does not to ponder together the suffering of Christ. In spare marriage and family life. “Time is money” turning inwards at this time, I am not only soul we hear, and we try to multiply time, and we and spirit but also body.

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