Playwright's Note
The roots of FOB are thoroughly American. The play be gan when a sketch I was writing about a limousine trip through Westwood, California, was invaded by two figures from American literature. Fa Mu Lan, the girl who takes her father's place in battle, from Maxine Hong Kingston's The Woman Warrior, and Gwan Gung, the god of fighters and writers, from Frank Chin's Gee, Pop! This fact testifies to the existence of an Asian American literary tradition. Japanese Americans, for instance, wrote plays in American concentration camps during World War II. Earlier, with the emergence of the railroads, came regu lar performances of Cantonese operas, featuring Gwan Gung, the adopted god of Chinese America.
3 CHARACTERS FOB was first produced by Nancy Takahashi for the Stan (all in early twenties) ford Asian American Theatre Project. It was performed at DALE, a second-generation American of Chine: Okada House on March 2, 1979, with the following cast: GRACE, his cousin, a first-generation Chinese j STEVE, her friend, a Chinese newcomer. DALE ...... Loren Fong GRACE ...... Hope Nakamura STEVE ...... David Pating PLACE The back room of a small Chinese restaurant Directed by the author; lights by Roger Tang; sets by George California. Prince; costumes by Kathy Ko; Randall Tong, assistant director. The play was then developed at the 1979 O'Neill Na TIME tional Playwrights Conference in Waterford, Connecticut, The year 1980. with the cast of Ernest Abuba, Calvin Jung, and Ginny Yang, directed by Robert Alan Ackerman. FOB was produced in New York by Joseph Papp at the SYNOPSIS OF SCENES New York Shakespeare Festival Public Theater, where it Act one, Scene 1. Late afternoon. opened on June 8, 1980, with the following cast: Act one, Scene 2. A few minutes later. Act two. After Dinner. DALE ...... Calvin Jung GRACE ...... Ginny Yang STEVE ...... John Lone DEFINITIONS On-stage Stage chong you bing is a type of Chinese pancake Managers ...... Willy Corpus Chinese appetizer often made with dough Tzi Ma with a consistency similar to that of pita bri On-stage Musician ...... Lucia Hwong Cung Cung means "grandfather." Mei Guo means "beautiful country," a Chi Directed by Mako; lighting by Victor En Yu Tan; sets by America. Akira Yoshimura and James E. Mayo; costumes by Susan da dao and mao are two swords, the tradition Hom; choreography by John Lone; music by Lucia Hwong; Gwan Gung and Fa Mu Lan, respectively. David Oyama, assistant director.
4 5 CHARACTERS produced by Nancy Takahashi for the Stan (all in early twenties) nerican Theatre Project. It was performed at DALE, a second-generation American of Chinese descent. on March 2, 1979, with the following cast: GRACE, his cousin, a first-generation Chinese American. STEVE, her friend, a Chinese newcomer...... Loren Fong .... · · · · · · ···· ... Hope Nakamura ...... David Pating PLACE The back room of a small Chinese restaurant in Torrance, : author; lights by Roger Tang; sets by George California. tes by Kathy Ko; Randall Tong, assistant
LS then developed at the 1979 O'Neill Na TIME :hts Conference in Waterford, Connecticut, The year 1980. )f Ernest Abuba, Calvin Jung, and Ginny by Robert Alan Ackerman. >duced in Ne~ y ork by Joseph Papp at the SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ikespeare F~st1val Public Theater, where it Act one, Scene 1. Late afternoon. 8, 1980, with the following cast: Act one, Scene 2. A few minutes later. Act two. After Dinner. · · · · · · · · · ...... Calvin Jung · · · · · · .. ·· ..... Ginny Yang ...... John Lone DEFINITIONS e chong you bing is a type of Chinese pancake, a Northern · · · · · · · · · · . Willy Corpus Chinese appetizer often made with dough and scallions, Tzi Ma with a consistency similar to that of pita bread. ician · ..... Lucia Hwong Cung Cung means "grandfather." Mei Guo means "beautiful country," a Chinese term for rn; lighting by Victor En Yu Tan; sets by America. l and James E. Mayo; costumes by Susan da dao and mao are two swords, the traditional weapons of J~y by John Lone; music by Lucia Hwong; Gwan Gung and Fa Mu Lan, respectively. >ststant director. 4 5 cluster in particularly large swarms. Cor leges, Chinese club discos, Asian sororities nities, Oriental churches, shopping malls, ; Bee Gee concerts. How can you spot a F01 you can't answer that, you might be one. (J PROLOGUE board, reviews) F-0-B. Fresh Off the Boat. I ugly, greasy FOB. Loud, stupid, four-e~ feet. Horny. Like Lenny in Of Mice and Me Lenny in Of Mice and Men. F-0-B. Fresh FOB. LIGHTS UP on a blackboard. Enter DALE dressed preppie. The blackboard is the type which can flip around so both sides can be (LIGHTS FADE to black. We hear American pop used. He lectures like a university professor, using the board to in the Junk-R&B-disco area) illustrate his points.
DALE: F-0-B. Fresh Off the Boat. FOB. What words can you think of that characterize the FOB? Clumsy, ugly, greasy FOB. Loud, stupid, four-eyed FOB. Big feet. Horny. Like Lenny in Of Mice and Men. Very good. A literary reference. High-water pants. Floods, to be exact. Someone you wouldn't want your sister to marry. If you are a sister, someone you wouldn't want to marry. That assumes we're talking about boy FOBs, of course. But girl FOBs aren't really as ... FOBish. Boy FOBs are the worst, the ... pits. They are the sworn enemies of all ABC-oh, that's "American Born Chinese"-of all ABC girls. Before an ABC girl will be seen on Friday night with a boy FOB in Westwood, she would rather burn off her face.
(He flips around the board. On the other side is written: "1. Where to find FOBs. 2. How to spot a FOB")
FOBs can be found in great numbers almost anyplace you happen to be, but there are some locations where they 6 FOB 7 cluster in particularly large swarms. Community Col leges, Chinese club discos, Asian sororities, Asian frater nities, Oriental churches, shopping malls, and, of course, Bee Gee concerts. How can you spot a FOB? Look out! If you can't answer that, you might be one. (He flips back the PROLOGUE board, reviews) F-0-B. Fresh Off the Boat. FOB. Clumsy, ugly, greasy FOB. Loud, stupid, four-eyed FOB. Big feet. Horny. Like Lenny in Of Mice and Men. Floods. Like Lenny in Of Mice and Men. F-0-B. Fresh Off the Boat. FOB. a blackboard. Enter DALE dressed preppie. The e type which can flip around so both sides can b (LIGHTS FADE to black. We hear American pop music, preferably ?s like a university professor, using the board t: in the fank-R&B-disco area) f'lfS.
~resh Off the Boat. FOB. What words can · that characterize the FOB? Clumsy ugl Loud,. stupid, four-eyed FOB. Bi~ fe!t'. Lenny. m Of Mice and Men. Very good. A :nee. H1g?-water pants. Floods, to be exact. I wouldn t want your sister to marry. If you omeo~e you wouldn't want to marry. That e 'talkmg about boy FOBs, of course. But n t r_eally as ... FOBish. Boy FOBs are the ·, P~~s. Th~y are the sworn enemies of all it s American Born Chinese"-of all ABC an ~BC girl will be seen on Friday night >B m Westwood, she would rather burn off d the board. On the other side is written- "1 'OBs. 2. How to spot a FOB") · · mnd in great numbers almost anyplace you but there are some locations where they 6 GRACE: Yeah? (Pause) You wouldn't have any o ya? ACT ONE STEVE: (English from now onward) Sorry? No. bing. I want to buy bing. GRACE: Not bing! Tape. Have you got any tap STEVE: Tape? Of course I don't have tape. GRACE: Just checking. Scene 1 STEVE: Do you have any bing? (Pause) GRACE: Look, we're closed till five . The back room of a small Chinese restaurant in Torrance, Califor STEVE: Idiot girl. nia. Single table, with tablecloth; various chairs, supplies. One GRACE: Why don't you take a menu? door leads outside, a back exit, another leads to the kitchen. Lights STEVE: I want you to tell me! up on GRACE, at the table. The music is coming from a small (Pause) radio. On the table is a small, partially wrapped box, and a huge GRACE: (Ignoring STEVE) Working in a Chim blob of discarded Scotch tape. As GRACE tries to wrap the box, we you learn to deal with obnoxious customer: see what has been happening: The tape she's using is stuck; so, in STEVE: Hey! you! order to pull it out, she must tug so hard that an unusable quantity GRACE: If the customer's Chinese, you insult of tape is dispensed. Enter STEVE, from the back door, unnoticed ing forks. by GRACE. He stands, waiting to catch her eye, tries to speak, but STEVE: I said I want you to tell me! his voice is drowned out by the music. He is dressed in a stylish GRACE: If the customer's Anglo, you starve summer out.fit. giving forks. STEVE: You serve bing or not? GRACE: Aaaai-ya! GRACE: But it's always easy just to dump wh: STEVE: Hey! to be in your hands at the moment. (No response; he turns off the music) (She sticks the tape blob on STEVE's face) GRACE: Huh? Look. Out of tape. STEVE: I suggest you answer my question at < STEVE: (In Chinese) Yeah. GRACE: And I suggest you grab a menu a1 GRACE: One whole roll. You know how much of it got on things for yourself. Look, I'll get you one here? Look. That much. That's all. that? STEVE: (In Chinese) Yeah. Do you serve chong you bing STEVE: I want it from your mouth! today? GRACE: Sorry. We don't keep 'em there. GRACE: (Picking up box) Could've skipped the wrapping paper, just covered it with tape. STEVE: If I say they are there, they are there. STEVE: (In Chinese) Excuse me! (He grabs her box) 8 FOB 9 GRACE: Yeah? (Pause) You wouldn't have any on you, would ya? ACT ONE STEVE: (English from now onward) Sorry? No. I don't have bing. I want to buy bing. GRACE: Not bing! Tape. Have you got any tape? STEVE: Tape? Of course I don't have tape. GRACE: Just checking. Scene 1 STEVE: Do you have any bing? (Pause) GRACE: Look, we're closed till five . ofa small Chinese restaurant in Torrance, Califar STEVE: Idiot girl. 'le, with tablecloth; various chairs, supplies. One GRACE: Why don't you take a menu? de, a back exit, another leads to the kitchen. Lights STEVE: I want you to tell me! at the table. The music is coming from a small (Pause) able is a small, partially wrapped box, and a huge GRACE: (Ignoring STEVE) Working in a Chinese restaurant, i Scotch tape. As GRACE tries to wrap the box, we you learn to deal with obnoxious customers. en happening: The tape she's using is stuck; so, in STEVE: Hey! you! mt, she must tug so hard that an unusable quantity GRACE: If the customer's Chinese, you insult them by giv 'tsed. Enter STEVE, from the back door, unnoticed ing forks. stands, waiting to catch her eye, tries to speak, but STEVE: I said I want you to tell me! vned out by the music. He is dressed in a stylish GRACE: If the customer's Anglo, you starve them by not giving forks. STEVE: You serve bing or not? GRACE: But it's always easy just to dump whatever happens to be in your hands at the moment. · he turns off the music) (She sticks the tape blob on STEVE's face) ,ook. Out of tape. STEVE: I suggest you answer my question at once! 'tese) Yeah. GRACE: And I suggest you grab a menu and start doing hole roll. You know how much of it got on That much. That's all. things for yourself Look, I'll get you one, even. How's that? inese) Yeah. Do you serve chong you bing STEVE: I want it from your mouth! i! up box) Could've skipped the wrapping GRACE: Sorry. We don't keep 'em there. )Vered it with tape. STEVE: If I say they are there, they are there. rese) Excuse me! (He grabs her box) 8 10 David lfenry lfwang
GRACE: What- What're you doing? Give that back to me! Gung woke up and saw the ring of fire a (They parry around the table) and decided, "This is a good day to slay vi STEVE: Aaaah! Now it's different, isn't it? Now you're lis got up, washed himself, and looked over tening to me. Three Kingdoms to decide where first to GRACE: 'Scuse me, but you really are an asshole, you know were days of rebellion and falling empires, : that? Who do you think you are? to slay was abundant. But planned slaugh1 STEVE: What are you asking me? Who I am? order and restraint which soon became ted: GRACE: Yes. You take it easy with that, hear? Gung decided a change was in order. He STEVE: You ask who I am? tailor, who he asked to make a beautifo GRACE: One more second and I'm gonna call the cops. layered silk, fine enough to be weightless, y< STEVE: Very well, I will tell you. to blind the wearer completely. The tailor (She picks up the phone. He slams it down) soon produced a perfect piece of red silk, eJ STEVE: I said, I'll tell you. Gwan Gung's demands. In gratitude, Gwa GRACE: If this is how you go around meeting people, I think the tailor's execution sentence. He then pu it's pretty screwed. fold, pulled out his sword, and began pa STEVE: Silence! I am Gwan Gung! God of warriors, writers, land, swiping at whatever got in his path. i and prostitutes! Gung figured there was so much revenge (Pause) evil in those days that he could slay at ra: GRACE: Bullshit! stand a good chance of fulfilling justice. STEVE: What? very well until his sword, in its blind fur GRACE: Bullshit! Bull-shit! You are not Gwan Gung. And old and irritable atom bomb. gimme back my box. (GRACE catches STEVE, takes back the box) STEVE: I am Gwan Gung. Perhaps we should see what you GRACE: Ha! Some Gwan Gung you are! Son have in here. are! You can't even protect a tiny box frorr GRACE: Don't open that! (Beat) You don't look like Gwan woman! How could you have shielded yo Gung. Gwan Gung is a warrior. battle? STEVE: I am a warrior! STEVE: Shield! Shield! I still go to battle! GRACE: Yeah? Why are you so scrawny, then? You wouldn't GRACE: Only your head goes to battle, 'ca last a day in battle. head is Gwan Gung. STEVE: My credit! Many a larger man has been humiliated (Pause) by the strength in one of my size. STEVE: You made me think of you as a qt GRACE: Tell me, then. Tell me, if you are Gwan Gung. Tell good trick. What is your name? me of your battles. Of one battle. Of Gwan Gung's GRACE: You can call me "The Woman Whc favorite battle. Gwan Gung," if that's really who you are. STEVE: Very well. Here is a living memory: One day, Gwan STEVE: Very well. But that name will change Mi'JJ tlwang FOB 11 __ What're you doing? Give that back to me! Gung woke up and saw the ring of fire around the sun around the table) and decided, "This is a good day to slay villagers." So he I Now it's different, isn't it? Now you're lis- got up, washed himself, and looked over a map of the be. Three Kingdoms to decide where first to go. For those bme, but you really are an asshole, you know were days of rebellion and falling empires, so opportunity do you think you are? to slay was abundant. But planned slaughter required an 1are you asking me? Who I am? order and restraint which soon became tedious. So Gwan ¥' ou take it easy with that, hear? Gung decided a change was in order. He called for his sk who I am? tailor, who he asked to make a beautiful blindfold of rnore second and I'm gonna call the cops. layered silk, fine enough to be weightless, yet thick enough well, I will tell you. to blind the wearer completely. The tailor complied, and p the phone. He slams it down) soon produced a perfect piece of red silk, exactly suited to I'll tell you. Gwan Gung's demands. In gratitude, Gwan Gung stayed is how you go around meeting people, I think the tailor's execution sentence. He then put on his blind crewed. fold, pulled out his sword, and began passing over the ! I am Gwan Gung! God of warriors, writers, land, swiping at whatever got in his path. You see, Gwan 1tes! Gung figured there was so much revenge and so much evil in those days that he could slay at random and still it! stand a good chance of fulfilling justice. This worked very well until his sword, in its blind fury, hit upon an it! Bull-shit! You are not Gwan Gung. And old and irritable atom bomb. my box. (GRACE catches STEVE, takes back the box) wan Gung. Perhaps we should see what you GRACE: Ha! Some Gwan Gung you are! Some warrior you are! You can't even protect a tiny box from the grasp of a open that! (Beat) You don't look like Gwan woman! How could you have shielded your big head in 1 Gung is a warrior. battle? warrior! STEVE: Shield! Shield! I still go to battle! Why are you so scrawny, then? You wouldn't GRACE: Only your head goes to battle, 'cause only your battle. head is Gwan Gung. GRACE: That story you told-that wasn't a Gwan Gung STEVE: I got what? You seem to be having trc story. your answers fit my questions. STEVE: What-you think you know all of my adventures GRACE: No, I think you're having trouble through stories? All the books in the world couldn't re questions fit my answers. cord the life of one man, let alone a god. Now-do you STEVE: What is this nonsense? Speak clearly, c serve bing? at all. GRACE: I won the battle; you go look yourself. There. GRACE: Speak clearly? STEVE: You working here? STEVE: Yes. Like a warrior. GRACE: Part time. It's my father's place. I'm also in school. GRACE: Well, you see, Gwan Gung, god of v. STEVE: School? University? ers, and prostitutes, no one gives a wipe abo GRACE: Yeah. UCLA. here. You're dead. STEVE: Excellent. I have also come to America for school. (Pause) GRACE: Well, what use would Gwan Gung have for school? STEVE: You . . . you make me laugh. STEVE: Wisdom. Wisdom makes a warrior stronger. GRACE: You died way back ... hell, no one GRACE: Pretty good. If you are Gwan Gung, you're not the when you died-that's how bad off your dumb jock I was expecting. Got a lot to learn about died and no one even missed a burp. school, though. STEVE: You lie! The name of Gwan Gung rr STEVE: Expecting? You were expecting me? around the world-you jeopardize your he; GRACE: (Quickly) No, no. I meant, what I expected from remarks. (Pause) You-you have heard of rr the stories. can you say-? STEVE: Tell me, how do people think of Gwan Gung in GRACE: Oh, I just study it a lot-Chinese Ami America? Do they shout my name while rushing into I mean. battle, or is it too sacred to be used in such ostentatious STEVE: Ah. In the schools, in the universitie display? leaders are born, they study my ways. GRACE: Uh-no. GRACE: Well, fifteen of us do. STEVE: No-what? I didn't ask a "no" question. STEVE: Fifteen. Fifteen of the brightest, of the m GRACE: What I mean is, neither. They don't do either of GRACE: One wants to be a dental technician. those. STEVE: A man studies Gwan Gung in order tc STEVE: Not good. The name of Gwan Gung has been re GRACE: There's also a middle-aged woman tha1 stricted for the use of leaders only? with her kids. GRACE: Uh-no. I think you better sit down. STEVE: I refuse-I don't believe you-your s STEVE: This is very scandalous. How are the people to take just angry at me for treating you like a s< my strength? Gwan Gung might as well not exist, for all trying to sap my faith. The people-the pe they know. they know me-they know the deeds of G GRACE: YOU got it. GRACE: Check it out yourself. FOB 13 wasn't a Gwan Gung STEVE: I got what? You seem to be having trouble making your answers fit my questions. think you know all of my adventures GRACE: No, I think you're having trouble making your All the books in the world couldn't re questions fit my answers. of one man, let alone a god. Now-do you STEVE: What is this nonsense? Speak clearly, or don't speak at all. ' the battle; you go look yourself. There. GRACE: Speak clearly? vorking here? STEVE: Yes. Like a warrior. ~me. It's my father's place. I'm also in school. GRACE: Well, you see, Gwan Gung, god of warriors, writ l? University? ers, and prostitutes, no one gives a wipe about you 'round UCLA. here. You're dead. ~nt. I have also come to America for school. (Pause) what use would Gwan Gung have for school? STEVE: You . . . you make me laugh. n. Wisdom makes a warrior stronger. GRACE: You died way back ... hell, no one even noticed good. If you are Gwan Gung, you're not the when you died-that's how bad off your PR was. You I was expecting. Got a lot to learn about died and no one even missed a burp. rgh. STEVE: You lie! The name of Gwan Gung must be feared ing? You were expecting me? around the world-you jeopardize your health with such ly) No, no. I meant, what I expected from remarks. (Pause) You-you have heard of me, I see. How can you say-? e, how do people think of Gwan Gung in GRACE: Oh, I just study it a lot-Chinese American history, o they shout my name while rushing into I mean. it too sacred to be used in such ostentatious STEVE: Ah. fn the schools, in the universities, where new leaders are born, they study my ways. D. GRACE: Well, fifteen of us do. liat? I didn't ask a "no" question. STEVE: Fifteen. Fifteen of the brightest, of the most promising? mean is, neither. They don't do either of GRACE: One wants to be a dental technician. STEVE: A man studies Gwan Gung in order to clean teeth? od. The name of Gwan Gung has been re- GRACE: There's also a middle-aged woman that's kinda bored 1e use of leaders only? with her kids. >. I think you better sit down. STEVE: I refuse-I don't believe you-your stories. You're rery scandalous. How are the people to take just angry at me for treating you like a servant. You're Gwan Gung might as well not exist, for all trying to sap my faith. The people-the people outside- they know me-they know the deeds of Gwan Gung. t it. GRACE: Check it out yourself. 14 David llenry llwang STEVE: Very well. You will learn-learn not to test the spirit properly ... It's not a favor, damn it. I' of Gwan Gung. (She hangs up) Jesus! (STEVE exits. GRACE picks up the box. She studies it) (STEVE enters) GRACE: Fa Mu Lan sits and waits. She learns to be still while STEVE: Buncha weak boys, what do they knm the emperors, the dynasties, the foreign lands flow past, ChinaMan-wearing a leisure suit-green! I unaware of her slender form, thinking it a tree in the know Gwan Gung?" He says, "Hong 1 woods, a statue to a goddess long abandoned by her "No, no. Gwan Gung." He says, "Yeah. ' people. But Fa Mu Lan, the Woman Warrior, is not thousand people living on four acres. \1' ashamed. She knows that the one who can exist without year." I say, "No, no. Gwan Gung." He : movement while the ages pass is the one to whom no Gwan Gung?" I say, "Yes, yes, Gwan Gun1 victory can be denied. It is training, to wait. And Fa Mu never been there before." Lan, the Woman Warrior, must train, for she is no god GRACE: See? Even if you didn't die-who car dess, but girl-girl who takes her father's place in battle. STEVE: Another kid-blue jeans and a T-shi No goddess, but woman-warrior-woman (She breaks does he know Gwan Gung? He says, he d through the wrapping, reaches in, and pulls out another box, he knows Jesus Christ. What city is this nc beautifally wrapped and ribboned)-and ghost. (She puts the GRACE: Los Angeles. new box on the shelf, goes to the phone, dials) Hi, Dale? Hi, STEVE: This isn't the only place where a new this is Grace . . . Pretty good. How 'bout you? ... land, is it? Good, good. Hey, listen, I'm sorry to ask you at the last GRACE: I guess a lot go to San Francisco. minute and everything, but are you doing anything to STEVE: Good. This place got a bunch of " night? ... Are you sure? ... Oh, good. Would you like here. to go out with me and some of my friends? ... Just out GRACE: yeah. to dinner, then maybe we were thinking of going to a STEVE: They could never be followers of G, movie or something . . . Oh, good . . . Are you sure? who follow me must be loyal and righteot ... Yeah, okay. Um, we're all going to meet at the GRACE: Maybe you should try some other st; restaurant ... No, our restaurant ... right-as soon as STEVE: Huh? What you say? possible. Oby, good ... I'm really glad that you're GRACE: Never mind. You'll get used to it coming. Sorry it's such short notice. Okay. Bye, now us . . . . Huh? Frank? Oh, okay. (Pause) Hi, Frank ... Pretty (Pause. STEVE begins laughing) good ... Yeah? ... No, I don't think so ... Yeah ... STEVE: You are a very clever woman. No, I'm sorry, I'd still rather not ... I don't want to, GRACE: Just average. okay? Do I have to be any clearer than that? ... You are STEVE: No. You do a good job to make it s~ not! ... You don't even know when they come-you'd Gung has no followers here. At the univc have to lie on those tracks for hours ... Forget it, okay? you study? . . . Look, I'll get you a schedule so you can time it GRACE: Journalism. 1~'7'"7'~~~·· ! ! I ienry ltwang FOB 15 I h .. t ~ell. you will learn-learn not to test t e spin properly ... It's not a favor, damn it. Now goodbye! (She hangs up) Jesus! 'rung. d. . ) rs GRACE picks up the box. She stu ies tt. . (STEVE enters) !u ·Lan sits. an d w ai"ts · She learns to be still while STEVE: Buncha weak boys, what do they know? One man ~rs, the dynasties, the f?re~gn I_ands flo~ past, ChinaMan-wearing a leisure suit-green! I ask him, "You if her slender form, thmkmg it a tree m the know Gwan Gung?" He says, "Hong Kong?" I say, ,Stai t ue to a goddess long abandoned. by . her "No, no. Gwan Gung." He says, "Yeah. They got sixty t Fa Mu Lan, the Woman Warrior, is not thousand people living on four acres. Went there last ~he knows that the one who can exist without year. " I say, "No, no. G wan G ung. " H e says, "Oooo h1. . while the ages pass is the one to whom no Gwan Gung?" I say, "Yes, yes, Gwan Gung." He says, "I be denied. It is training, to wait. And Fa Mu never been there before." 'oman Warrior, must train, for she is no god GRACE: See? Even if you didn't die-who cares? irl-girl who takes her father's place in battle. STEVE: Another kid-blue jeans and a T-shirt-1 ask him, ;s, but woman-warrior-woman (She breaks does he know Gwan Gung? He says, he doesn't need it, wrapping, reaches in, and pulls out another box, he knows Jesus Christ. What city is this now? ~rapped and ribboned)-and ghost. (She puts the GRACE: Los Angeles. the shelf, goes to the phone, dials) Hi, Dale? Hi, STEVE: This isn't the only place where a new ChinaMan can ce ... Pretty good. How 'bout you? ... land, is it? i. Hey, listen, I'm sorry to ask you at the last GRACE: I guess a lot go to San Francisco. everything, but are you doing anything to STEVE: Good. This place got a bunch of weirdos around Are you sure? ... Oh, good. Would you like here. rith me and some of my friends? ... Just out GRACE: yeah. :hen maybe we were thinking of going to a STEVE: They could never be followers of Gwan Gung. All Dmething ... Oh, good ... Are you sure? who follow me must be loyal and righteous. okay. Um, we're all going to meet at the GRACE: Maybe you should try some other state . . . No, our restaurant ... right-as soon as STEVE: Huh? What you say? •kay, good . . . I'm really glad that you're GRACE: Never mind. You'll get used to it-like the rest of rry it's such short notice. Okay. Bye, now us. rank? Oh, okay. (Pause) Hi, Frank ... Pretty (Pause. STEVE begins laughing) 'eah? ... No, I don't think so ... Yeah ... STEVE: You are a very clever woman. rry, I'd still rather not ... I don't want to, GRACE: Just average. have to be any clearer than that? ... You are STEVE: No. You do a good job to make it seem like Gwan m don't even know when they come-you'd Gung has no followers here. At the university, what do m those tracks for hours ... Forget it, okay? you study? I'll get you a schedule so you can time it GRACE: Journalism. 16 David ffenry ffwang STEVE: Journalism-you are a writer, then? STEVE: Deal? What deals? Why am I made GRACE: Of a sort. deals? STEVE: Very good. You are close to Gwan Gung's heart. GRACE: 'Cause you're in the U.S. in 1980, GRACE: As close as I'm gonna get. rest of us. Now quit complaining. Will y STEVE: I would like to go out tonight with you. not? GRACE: I knew it. Look, I've heard a lot of lines before, and yours is very creative, but . (Pause) STEVE: Gwan Gung ... bows to no one's STEVE: I will take you out. GRACE: y OU will, huh? own. GRACE: Fine. Why don't you go down the stn STEVE: I do so because I find you worthy to be favored. Dragon Restaurant and see if they have bin~ GRACE: You're starting to sound like any other guy now. STEVE: I'm sorry? STEVE: Do you have bing? GRACE: See for yourself. GRACE: Look-if you're going to have any kinds of relation ships with women in this country, you better learn to (She hands him a menu. He exits. GRACE 1 give us some respect. box) STEVE: Respect? I give respect. GRACE: Fa Mu Lan stood in the center of ti GRACE: The pushy, aggressive type is out, understand? turned round and round as the bits of fing( STEVE: Taking you out is among my highest tokens of tongues, the arms, the legs, the peeled sk respect. maidenheads, all whirled by. She pulled t~ GRACE: Oh, c'mon-they don't even say that in Hong Kong. closer to her body, stepped over the torsrn STEVE: You are being asked out by Gwan Gung! the one of her family who might still be al GRACE: I told you, you're too wimpy to be Gwan Gung. the house that was once her home, crushin1 And even if you were, you'd have to wait your turn in haste, only to find the doorway covered wit] line. and dried skin of that which was once her J STEVE: What? ing through an open window, noticing tl: GRACE: I already have something for tonight. My cousm thousand-day-old egg still floating in the shit and I are having dinner. Finding her sister tied spread-eagle on th( STEVE: You would turn down Gwan Gung for your cousin? her mother in the basket in pieces, findin GRACE: Well, he has an X-1/9. nowhere. The Woman Warrior went to the (Pause) had stayed unbroken, and let her gown cc ', STEVE: What has happened? drop to the ground. She turned and stu< GRACE: Look-I tell you what. If you take both of us out, graphs that had long ago been carved into t then it'll be okay, all right? young back . . . Carved by her mother, " STEVE: I don't want to go out with your cousin! in the basket. 11 GRACE: Well, sorry. It's part of the deal. 1..·I:.1 1ii (DALE enters, approaches GRACE) !liI!' ~ I l · M111 llwang FOB 17 Qlisll'l""-you are a writer, then? STEVE: Deal? What deals? Why am I made part of these sort. deals? GRACE: 'Cause you're in the U.S. in 1980, just like the ose as I'm gonna get. rest of us. Now quit complaining. Will you take it or Id like to go out tonight with you. not? fw it. Look, I've heard a lot of lines before, and (Pause) ~ry creative, but . 'take you out. STEVE: Gwan Gung ... bows to no one's terms but his 1will, huh? own. o because I find you worthy to be favored. GRACE: Fine. Why don't you go down the street to Imperial :e starting to sound like any other guy now. Dragon Restaurant and see if they have bing? 1rry? STEVE: Do you have bing? -if you're going to have any kinds of relation GRACE: See for yourself. women in this country, you better learn to (She hands him a menu. He exits. GRACE moves with the ie respect. box) :t? I give respect. GRACE: Fa Mu Lan stood in the center of the village and ushy, aggressive type is out, understand? turned round and round as the bits of fingers, the tips of ~ you out is among my highest tokens of tongues, the arms, the legs, the peeled skulls, the torn maidenheads, all whirled by. She pulled the loose gown mon~they don't even say that in Hong Kong. closer to her body, stepped over the torsos, in search of e bemg asked out by Gwan Gung! the one of her family who might still be alive. Reaching you, you're too wimpy to be Gwan Gung. the house that was once her home, crushing bones in her you were, you'd have to wait your turn in haste, only to find the doorway covered with the stretched and dried skin of that which was once her father. Climb ing through an open window, noticing the shiny black ~y ha_ve something for tonight. My cousin thousand-day-old egg still floating in the shiny black sauce. 'mg dmner. Finding her sister tied spread-eagle on the mat, finding uld turn down Gwan Gung for your cousin? her mother in the basket in pieces, finding her brother e has an X-1/9. nowhere. The Woman Warrior went to the mirror, which s happened? had stayed unbroken, and let her gown come loose and drop to the ground. She turned and studied the ideo I tell you what. If you take both of us out kay, all right? ' graphs that had long ago been carved into the flesh of her \Tant to go out with your cousin! young back ... Carved by her mother, who lay carved irry. It's part of the deal. in the basket. (DALE enters, approaches GRACE) 18 David Henry llwang She ran her fingers over the skin and felt the ridges where DALE: Well, that's okay. I can go home-or I there had been pain. you, if this guy Steve doesn't mind. \:i; (DALE is behind GRACE) anyway? GRACE: But now they were firm and hard. GRACE: I guess he's late. You know, he just (DALE touches GRACE, who reacts by swinging around and country. knocking him to the ground. Only after he is down does she DALE: Oh yeah? How'd you meet him? see his face) GRACE: At a Chinese dance at UCLA. GRACE: Dale! Shit! I'm sorry. I didn't ... ! DALE: Hmmmm. Some of those FOBs get m DALE: (Groggy) Am I late? fast. GRACE: I didn't know it was you, Dale. (GRACE glares) DALE: Yeah. Well, I didn't announce myself. DALE: Oh. Is he ... nice? GRACE: You shouldn't just come in here like that. GRACE: He's okay. I don't know him that well. DALE: You're right. Never again. I'm really sorry. GRACE: I mean, you should've yelled from the dining room. DALE: Hey, I said it was okay. Jesus, it's not l DALE: Dangerous neighborhood, huh? me or anything. GRACE: I'm so sorry. Really. GRACE: For that, too. DALE: Yeah. Uh-where're your other friends? They on the DALE: Look- (He hits himself) No pain! floor around here too? GRACE: What I meant was, I'm sorry tonight's g GRACE: No. Uh-this is really bad, Dale. I'm really sorry. up. DALE: What?-you can't make it after all? DALE: Oh, it's okay. I wasn't doing anything a1 GRACE: No, I can make it. It's just that ... GRACE: I know, but still ... DALE: They can't make it? Okay, so it'll just be us. That's (Silence) cool. DALE: Hey, that Frank is a joke, huh? GRACE: Well, not quite us. GRACE: Yeah. He's kind of a pain. DALE: Oh. DALE: Yeah. What an asshole to call my friend. GRACE: See, what happened is-You know my friend Judy? GRACE: Did you hear him on the phone? DALE: Uh-no. DALE: Yeah, all that railroad stuff? GRACE: Well, she was gonna come with us-with me and GRACE: It was real dumb. this guy I know-his name is ... Steve. DALE: Dumb? He's dumb. He's doing it right n DALE: Oh, he's with you, right? GRACE: Huh? Are you serious? GRACE: Well, sort of. So since she was gonna come, I DA~E: Yeah. I'm tempted to tie him down so, fo thought you should come too. hfe, he won't screw something up. DALE: To even out the couples? GRACE: You're kidding! GRACE: But now my friend Judy, she decided she had too D~LE: Huh? Yeah, sure I'm kidding. Who woul1 much work to do, so ... oh, it's all messed up. ing with? ertrynwang FOB 19 r fingers over the skin and felt the ridges where DALE: Well, that's okay. I can go home-or I can go with [been pain. you, if this guy Steve doesn't mind. Where is he, ~hind GRACE) anyway? ~ w they were firm and hard. GRACE: I guess he's late. You know, he just came to this [h~s GRACE, who reacts by swin~ing around and country. im to the ground. Only after he is down does she DALE: Oh yeah? How'd you meet him? ~ d'd , GRACE: At a Chinese dance at UCLA. I Shit! I'm sorry. I 1 n t . DALE: Hmmmm. Some of those FOBs get moving pretty 'Y) Am I late? fast. 11't know it was you, Dale. (GRACE glares) Well, I didn't announce myself. DALE: Oh. Is he ... nice? shouldn't just come in here like that. GRACE: He's okay. I don't know him that well. You know, right. Never again. I'm really sorry. n, you should've yelled from the dining room. DALE: Hey, I said it was okay. Jesus, it's not like you hurt ·ous neighborhood, huh? me or anything. ) sorry. Really. GRACE: For that, too. Jh-where're your other friends? They on the DALE: Look- (He hits himself) No pain! d here too? GRACE: What I meant was, I'm sorry tonight's got so messed Jh-this is really bad, Dale. I'm really sorry. up. -you can't make it after all? DALE: Oh, it's okay. I wasn't doing anything anyway. can make it. It's just that ... GRACE: I know, but still ... m't make it? Okay, so it'll just be us. That's (Silence) DALE: Hey, that Frank is a joke, huh? not quite us. GRACE: Yeah. He's kind of a pain. DALE: Yeah. What an asshole to call my friend. hat happened is- You know my friend Judy? GRACE: Did you hear him on the phone? '· DALE: Yeah, all that railroad stuff? she was gonna come with us-with me and GRACE: It was real dumb. 11ow-his name is . . . Steve. DALE: Dumb? He's dumb. He's doing it right now. ; with you, right? GRACE: Huh? Are you serious? sort of. So since she was gonna come, I DALE: Yeah. I'm tempted to tie him down so, for once in his should come too. life, he won't screw something up. out the couples? GRACE: You're kidding! )W my friend Judy, she decided she had too DALE: Huh? Yeah, sure I'm kidding. Who would I go bowl to do, so ... oh, it's all messed up. ing with? 20 David Henry Hwang GRACE: No, I mean about him actually going out there-is nor house, to fields, to whorehouse, to fiftl: that true? to eighth neighbor toilet-you ask only: W DALE: Yeah-he's lying there. You know, right on Torrance in whorehouse? I tell north, south, nortl: Boulevard? west, west, east, north-northeast, south-sou GRACE: No! eastsouth-Why will you not let me enter i1 DALE: Yeah! come here five times-I raise lifetime fortun GRACE: But what if a train really comes? Five times, I first come here, you say to me DALE: I dunno. I guess he'll get up. you return me on boat to fathers and uncles \ GRACE: I don't believe it! no treasure, no fortune, no rice. I only wan DALE: Unless he's fallen asleep by that time or something. America-come to "Mountain of Gold." And GRACE: He's crazy. tain and I hate America and I hate you! (Pa DALE: Which is a real possibility for Frank, he's such a bore year you call 1914--very bad for China. anyway. (Pause; light shifi. GRACE and DALE become mo, GRACE: He's weird. oJ STEVE's presence) DALE: No, he just thinks he's in love with you. GRACE: Oh! Steve, this is Dale, my cousin. Da GRACE: Is he? DALE: Hey, nice to meet ... DALE: I dunno. We'll see when the train comes. STEVE: (Now speaking with Chinese accent) Hello GRACE: Do you think we should do something? I am fine. DALE: What?-You're not gonna fall for the twerp, are you? (Pause) GRACE: Well, no, but . . . DALE: Uh, yeah. Me too. So, you just go DALE: He's stupid-and ugly, to boot. What'cha think? GRACE: ... but staying on the tracks is kinda dangerous. (STEVE smiles and nods, DALE smiles and nods; DALE: Let him. Teach him a lesson. DALE laughs; STEVE hits DALE on the shoulde GRACE: You serious? some more. They stop laughing) DALE: (Moving closer to GRACE) Not to fool with my cousin. DALE: Oh. Uh-good. (Pause) Well, it looks (He strokes her hair. They freeze in place, but his arm contin gonna be the three of us, right? (To GRACI ues to stroke. STEVE enters, oblivious of DALE and GRACE, wanna go? who do not respond to him. He speaks to the audience as if it GRACE: I think Steve's already taken care oJ were a panel ofjudges) Steve? STEVE: No! Please! Listen to me! This is fifth time I come STEVE: Excuse? here. I tell you both my parents, I tell you their parents, GRACE: You made reservations at a restauranti I tell you their parents' parents and who was adopted STEVE: Oh, reservations. Yes, yes. great-granduncle. I tell you how many beggars in home DALE: Oh, okay. That limits the possibilities town and name of their blind dogs. I tell you number of going to Chinatown or something, right? steps from my front door to temple, to well, to gover- GRACE: (To STEVE) Where is the restaurant? FOB 21 e to fields to whorehouse, to fifth cousin inn, nor hous ' ' I to eighth neighbor toilet-you ask only: What for am lying there. You know, right on Torrance in whorehouse? I tell north, south, northeast, south- wes,t West ' east , north-northeast, south-southwest,. . east- tsouth-Why will you not let me enter m Amenca? I e~ fi . e here five times-I raise lifetime fortune 1ve ttmes. what if a train really comes? oom ·11 1 Five times, I first come here, you say to me I am 1 ega , o. I guess he'll get up. you return me on boat to fathers and uncles with no gold, n't believe it! no treasure, no fortune, no rice. I only want to come to ~s he's fallen asleep by that time or something. America-come to "Mountain of Gold." And I hate Mou~ ~ crazy. tain and I hate America and I hate you! (Pause) But this ~ is a real possibility for Frank, he's such a bore year you call 1914-very bad for China. weird. (Pause; light shift. GRACE and DALE become mobile and aware e just thinks he's in love with you. of STEVE's presence) . ? GRACE: Oh! Steve, this is Dale, my cousm. Dale, Steve. o. We'll see when the train comes. DALE: Hey, nice to meet ... ou think we should do something? STEVE: (Now speaking with Chinese accent) Hello. Thank you. -You're not gonna fall for the twerp, are you? I am fine. no, but ... (Pause) . upid-and ugly, to boot. DALE: Uh, yeah. Me too. So, you just got here, huh? ut staying on the tracks is kinda dangerous. What'cha think? 1. Teach him a lesson. (STEVE smiles and nods, DALE smiles and nods; STEVE laughs, erious? DALE laughs; STEVE hits DALE on the shoulder. They laugh ~close~ to GRACE) Not to fool with my cousin. some more. They stop laughing) . . , . ier hair. They freeze in place, but his arm contin DALE: Oh. Uh-good. (Pause) Well, it looks like It s JUSt . STEVE enters, oblivious of DALE and GRACE gonna be the three of us, right? (To GRACE) Where you ·espond to him. He speaks to the audience as if i~ wanna go? ofjudges) GRACE: I think Steve's already taken care of that. Right, ease! Listen to me! This is fifth time I come Steve? STEVE: Excuse? o~ both m~ parents, I tell you their parents, ietr parents parents and who was adopted GRACE: You made reservations at a restaurant? ncle. I tell you how many beggars in home STEVE: Oh, reservations. Yes, yes. me of their blind dogs. I tell you number of DALE: Oh, okay. That limits the possibilities. Guess we're 1y front door to temple, to well, to gover- going to Chinatown or something, right? GRACE: (To STEVE) Where is the restaurant? 22 David llenry llwang STEVE: Oh. The restaurant is a French restaurant. Los Ange STEVE: Please. Use my car. Is ... big. les downtown. DALE: Yeah? Well, how much room you got? (1 DALE: Oh, we're going to a Western place? (To GRACE) Are How-big-your-car-is? you sure he made reservations? STEVE: Huh? GRACE: We'll see. DALE: Your car-how is big? DALE: Well, I'll get my car. GRACE: How big is your car? GRACE: Okay. STEVE: Oh! y OU go see. STEVE: No! DALE: 'Cause if it's, like, a Pinto or something. DALE: Huh? much of a difference. STEVE: Please-allow me to provide car. STEVE: Big and black. Outside. DALE: Oh. You wanna drive. GRACE: Let's hurry. STEVE: Yes. I have car. DALE: Sure, sure. DALE: Look-why don't you let me drive? You've got enough (Exits) to do without worrying about-you know-how to get GRACE: What you up to, anyway? around L.A., read the stop signs, all that. STEVE: (Dropping accent) Gwan Gung will not l STEVE: Please-allow me to provide car. No problem. without equipment worthy of his position. DALE: Well, let's ask Grace, okay? (To GRACE) Grace, who GRACE: Position? You came back, didn't yot do you think should drive? that make you? GRACE: I don't really care. Why don't you two figure it out? DALE: (Entering) Okay. There's only one black c But let's hurry, okay? We open pretty soon. STEVE: Black car is mine. DALE: (To STEVE) Look-you had to pick the restaurant DALE: -and that's a Fleetwood limo. No"' we're going to, so the least I can do is drive. gonna tell me that's his. STEVE: Uh, your car-how many people sit in it? STEVE: Cadillac. Cadillac is mine. DALE: Well, it depends. Right now, none. DALE: Limousine ... Limousine is yours? GRACE: (To DALE) He's got a point. Your car only seats two. STEVE: Yes, yes. Limousine. DALE: He can sit in the back. There's space there. I've fit (Pause) luggage in it before. DALE: (To GRACE) You wanna ride in that GRACE: (To STEVE) You want to sit in back? People will think we're dead. STEVE: I sit-where? GRACE: It does have more room. DALE: Really big suitcases. DALE: Well, it has to. It's built for passeng GRACE: Back of his car. bend. STEVE: X-1/9? Aaaai-ya! GRACE: And the driver is expensive. DALE: X-1/9? DALE: He could go home-save all that mane STEVE: N 0 deal! GRACE: Well, I don't know. You decide. DALE: How'd he know that? How'd he know what I drive? DALE: (To STEVE} Look, we take my car, sav 11enry lfwang FOB 23 The restaurant is a French restaurant. Los Ange- STEVE: Please. Use my car. Is ... big. DALE: Y e ah ?· Well ' how . much room you got? (Pause; slower) weto':'n. re gomg. to a Western place? (To GRACE) Are How-big-your-car-is? . ? he made reservat10ns. STEVE: Huh? 11 see. DALE: your car-h ow 1s. b"1g. ? 1 I'll get my car. GRACE: How big is your car? ~Y· STEVE: Oh! y OU go see. . . ' DALE: 'Cause if it's, like, a Pinto or somethmg, it s not that much of a difference. ie-allow me to provide car. STEVE: Big and black. Outside. (ou wanna drive. GRACE: Let's hurry. I have car. DALE: Sure, sure. ~why don't you let me drive? You've got enough (Exits) }out worrying about-you know-how to get !\., read the stop signs, all that. GRACE: What you up to, anyway? . . STEVE: (Dropping accent) Gwan Gu?g w1~l. not go mto battle :-allow me to provide car. No problem. without equipment worthy of his ~os1~1on. !et's ask Grace, okay? (To GRACE} Grace, who nk should drive? GRACE: Position? You came back, didn t you? What does that make you? 't really care. Why don't you two figure it out? lrry, okay? We open pretty soon. DALE: (Entering) Okay. There's only one black car out there- STEVE: Black car is mine. rEVE} Look-you had to pick the restaurant DALE: -and that's a Fleetwood limo. Now, you're not ~ to, so the least I can do is drive. gonna tell me that's his. our car-how many people sit in it? STEVE: Cadillac. Cadillac is mine. : depends. Right now, none. . . . ? DALE: Limousine ... L1mousme 1s yours. \LE) He's got a point. Your car only seats two. STEVE: Yes, yes. Limousine. sit in the back. There's space there. I've fit t before. (Pause) DALE: (To GRACE) You wanna ride m that black thing? 'EVE) You want to sit in back? ~here? People will think we're dead. >ig suitcases. GRACE: It does have more room. )f his car. DALE: Well, it has to. It's built for passengers who can't Aaaai-ya! bend. GRACE: And the driver is expensive. I! DALE: He could go home-save all that money. GRACE: Well, I don't know. You decide. ie know that? How'd he know what I drive? DALE: (To STEVE} Look, we take my car, savvy? 24 David llenry llwang STEVE: Please--drive my car. DALE: Do you have ... uh-those burrito thin§ DALE: I'm not trying to be unreasonable or anything. GRACE: Moo-shoo? STEVE: My car-just outside. DALE: yeah, that. DALE: I know where it is, I just don't know why it is. GRACE: yeah. GRACE: Steve's father manufactures souvenirs in Hong Kong. DALE: And black mushrooms. DALE: (To STEVE} Oh, and that's how you manage that out GRACE: Sure. there, huh?-from thousands of aluminum Buddhas and DALE: And sea cucumber? striptease pens. STEVE: Do you have bing? GRACE: Well, he can't drive and he has the money (Pause) DALE: (To GRACE) I mean, wouldn't you just feel filthy? GRACE: Look, Dad and Russ and some of ti GRACE: -so it's easier for him. gonna be setting up pretty soon, so let's DALE: Getting out of a limo in the middle of Westwood? ready, okay? People staring, thinking we're from 'SC? Wouldn't you DALE: Okay. Need any help? feel like dirt? GRACE: Well, yeah. That's what I just said. GRACE: It doesn't matter either way to me. DALE: Oh, right. I thought maybe you we (Pause) polite. DALE: Where's your social conscience? GRACE: Yeah. Meet me in the kitchen. GRACE: Look-I have an idea. Why don't we just stay here. DALE: Are you sure your dad won't mind? STEVE: We stay here to eat? GRACE: What? GRACE: No one from the restaurant will bother us, and we DALE: Cooking for us. can bring stuff in from the kitchen. GRACE: Oh, it's okay. He'll cook for anybody STEVE: I ask you to go out. (Exits. Silence) DALE: Look, Grace, I can't put ya out like that. DALE: So, how do you like America? GRACE: (To DALE} It's no problem, really. It should be fun. STEVE: Very nice. (To STEVE} Since there are three of us DALE: "Very nice." Good, colorful Hong l DALE: Fun? English-how much of it you got down, a GRACE: (To STEVE} -it is easier to eat here. STEVE: Please repeat? DALE: How can it be fun? It's cheaper. DALE: English-you speak how much? STEVE: Does not seem right. STEVE: Oh-very little. GRACE: I mean, unless our restaurant isn't nice enough. DALE: Honest. (Pause) You feel like you're DALE: No, no-that's not it. Don't tell me. Lemme guess. Your fathe STEVE: (Watching DALE} No-this place, very nice. into a mock Hong Kong accent.) Your fad-dal GRACE: Are you sure? ing you here so you get yo' M.B.A., de: DALE: Yeah. Sure. covuh da world wit' trinkets and beads. I STEVE: (Ditto) Yeah. Sure. chise. Sell-ah-Hong Kong X-Ray glasses FOB 25 wy car. DALE: Do you have ... uh-those burrito things? to be unreasonable or anything. GRACE: Moo-shoo? outside. . . DALE: Yeah, that. , L,.-- 1t . . . .wn~u;:o it is , lJ'ust don't know .why H tsK . GRACE: yeah. "lsfather manufactures souvenirs m ong ong. DALE: And black mushrooms. 't:EVB) Oh, and that's how y~u manage that out GRACE: Sure. ?-from thousands of alummum Buddhas and DALE: And sea cucumber? pens. STEVE: Do you have bing? , he can't drive and he has the money (Pause) rRACE) I. mean, :vouldn't you just feel filthy? GRACE: Look, Dad and Russ and some of the others are ~ it's easier for him. gonna be setting up pretty soon, so let's get our place ilg out of a limo in the middle of Westwood? ready, okay? iring, thinking we're from 'SC? Wouldn't you lrt? DALE: Okay. Need any help? esn't matter either way to me. GRACE: Well, yeah. That's what I just said. DALE: Oh, right. I thought maybe you were just being 's your social conscience? polite. GRACE: Yeah. Meet me in the kitchen. -I have an idea. Why don't we just stay here. iy here to eat? DALE: Are you sure your dad won't mind? GRACE: What? ne f~om the restaurant will bother us, and we tuff m from the kitchen. DALE: Cooking for us. ·ou to go out. GRACE: Oh, it's okay. He'll cook for anybody. ;race, I can't put ya out like that. (Exits. Silence) DALE: So, how do you like America? A.~E} It's no problem, really. It should be fun. Smee there are three of us- STEVE: Very nice. . DALE: "Very nice." Good, colorful Hong Kong English. EVE} -it is easier to eat here. English-how much of it you got down, anyway? STEVE: Please repeat? 1 it be fun? It's cheaper. )t seem right. DALE: English-you speak how much? STEVE: Oh-very little. ' unl:ss our restaurant isn't nice enough. , A . ? -that s not it. DALE: Honest. (Pause) You feel like you re an mencan. Don't tell me. Lemme guess. Your father. (He switches ig DALE) No-this place, very nice. 1 sure? into a mock Hong Kong accent.) Your fad-dah tink he send re. ing you here so you get yo' M.B.A., from oeneam (She removes DALE: She o! ·!