Surviving Sexual Assault

Survivors of have critical needs. Certainly they include a safe place to be, safe people to be with, and clear, accurate information to help them assess the situation and decide what to do about it.

Information in this packet, provided by Saving Grace, deals with basic aspects of sexual violence. It is intended to help sexual assault survivors and their friends understand the nature, scope, and direction of the violence.

Saving Grace offers a safe refuge and support services for women, men and children who survive domestic and sexual violence. Services are provided to survivors regardless of their gender, race, color, creed, disability, religious beliefs, or .

Programs and services include: • 24-hour crisis intervention telephone hotline • Shelter services that include housing, food, clothing, emergency transportation • Individual crisis counseling • Support Groups

If you would like more information about sexual violence, or if you want to talk to a trained person about a particular case of sexual assault, please call the Saving Grace hotline at 541-389-7021 or toll free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 1 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Information and Resources for Survivors and Their Supporters

Table of Contents

• Defining Sexual Assault...... page 3 • In the Mind of the Rapist...... page 4 • Is It When It’s Someone I Know or Have a Relationship With? ...... page 6 • Sexual Assault Drugs...... page 7 • If Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted ...... page 8 • Surviving an Assault ...... page 9 • Rape Trauma Syndrome...... page 10 • Recovering from Sexual Assault...... page 11 • Medical Care for Assault Survivors...... page 12 • Sexual Assault and the Justice System ...... page 13 • Civil Penalties ...... page 14 • Plan For Safety, Identify Support and Survival Needs ...... page 15 • Crime Victim's Compensation...... page 16 • Protection from Stalking...... page 18 • Unique Issues Facing Male Survivors...... page 20 • People with Disabilities...... page 21 • Elderly Survivors of Sexual Assault ...... page 22 • Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Survivors of Sexual Assault...... page 23 • Adults Molested As Children...... page 24

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 2 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Defining Sexual Assault

What is sexual assault?

A sexual assault includes any kind of unwanted sexual contact – contact that is physical, verbal, or even gestures – that is done without the willing, able consent of both parties. Sexual assault is a broad term that encompasses everything from unwanted sexual advances (), on one end of the continuum, to sexual touching and includes both attempted and completed rape on the other end of the continuum.

For victims of sexual assault there is no kind of sexual violence that is easier to deal with than another. All are shocking, hurtful, and life changing. Whether the victim was attacked by a stranger or manipulated by a trusted family member, or whether what happened to her would be seen as rape or sexual harassment, she suffers pain.

We believe sexual assault survivors deserve to be believed, to have their feelings validated, and to know that they are never to for another’s actions. The victim is never responsible for the assault.

Pinpointing responsibility

A pervasive and devastating myth about rape is that the victim is in some way responsible for the crime. We have often heard people say, "What was she doing out alone?" or "She shouldn't have been drinking" or "She shouldn't have been wearing those clothes."

The reality is the rapist is responsible for the rape. Rape is not a natural consequence for going out alone, drinking, or wearing certain clothing, no more than banks should be blamed for bank robberies because they intentionally keep a lot of money in their vaults.

The myth that most rapists are strangers to their victims keeps most women from recognizing the dangers closer to home. The sad truth is most rape victims (83%) are assaulted by someone they know and believe to be trustworthy. Forty percent of occur in victims' homes where they believed themselves safe. Anyone can be victim, even children, people with disabilities, the elderly or men. Rapists plan the crime in detail and the victim is powerless to change the plan.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 3 April 2008 Sexual Assault

In the Mind of the Rapist

Abusive people, including rapists, typically think they are unique, so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules everyone else does. But rather than being unique, abusers and rapists have a lot in common with one another, including their patterns of thinking and behaving. Some of their characteristics are:

Excuse making Instead of accepting responsibility for his actions, the rapist tries to justify his behavior. For example: "I was molested as a child" or "I was drunk when I did it" or "When she said no I thought she meant yes."

Blaming The rapist shifts responsibility for his actions from himself to others, a shift that allows him to blame the other person for "causing" his behavior. For example: "She was acting provocatively."

Redefining In a variation on the tactic of blaming, the abuser redefines the situation so that the problem lies not with him but with the outside world in general.

Success fantasies The abuser believes he would be rich, famous, or extremely successful in some other terms if only people weren't holding him back. Their blocking his way makes him feel justified in getting back at them, including through rape. The abuser also puts other people down verbally as a way of building himself up.

Lying The abuser uses lies to control the information available and therefore to control the situation. The abuser also may use lying to keep other people, including his victim, off balance psychologically. For example, he tries to appear truthful when he's lying and he tries to look deceitful even when he's telling the truth. Sometimes he reveals himself in an obvious lie.

Assuming Abusive people often assume they know what others are thinking or feeling. Their assumption allows them to justify their behavior because they "know" what the other person would think or do in a given situation. For example: "I could tell what she wanted me to do."

Above the rules As mentioned earlier, an abuser generally believes he is better than other people and so does not have to follow the rules that ordinary people do. That attitude is typical of convicted criminals, too. Each inmate in a jail typically believes that while all the other inmates are criminals, he himself is not. An abuser shows above-the-rules thinking when he says, for example, "I don't need counseling. Nobody knows as much about my life as I do. I can handle my life without help from anybody."

Making fools of others The abuser combines tactics to manipulate others. The tactics include lying, upsetting the other person just to watch his or her reactions, and provoking a fight between or among others. Or, he may try to charm the person he wants to manipulate, pretending a lot of interest or concern for that person in order to get on his or her good side. Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 4 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Fragmentation The abuser usually keeps his abusive behavior separate from the rest of his life, physically and psychologically. An example of physical separation is the abuser's sexually assaulting family members but not people outside the family. An example of psychological separation is the abuser's attending church Sunday morning and sexually assaulting his victim Sunday night. He sees no inconsistency in his behavior and feels justified in it.

Minimizing The sexual abuser ducks responsibility for his actions by trying to make them seem unimportant. For example: "It was no big deal – any man would have done it" or "She wanted it anyway."

Anger Abusive people are not actually angrier than other people. is a tool abusers use. They deliberately use anger to control situations and people. For example, "Shut up or I'll break your neck."

Power plays The abuser uses various tactics to overcome resistance to his bullying. For instance, he walks out of the room when the victim is talking, or out-shouts the victim, or organizes other family members or associates to gang up" on the victim in shunning or criticizing her.

Playing victim Occasionally the abuser will pretend to be helpless or will act persecuted in order to manipulate others into helping him. Here, the abuser thinks that if he doesn't get what he wants, he is the victim; and he uses the disguise of victim to strike back at or make fools of others.

Drama and excitement Abusive people often have trouble experiencing close, satisfying relationships with other people. They substitute drama and excitement for closeness. Abusive people find it exciting to watch others get angry, get into fights, or be in a state of general uproar. Often, they'll use a combination of tactics described earlier to set up a dramatic and exciting situation.

Closed channel The abusive person does not tell much about his real feelings, and he is not open to new information about himself such as insights into how others see him. He is secretive, close-minded, and self-righteous.

Always Right He believes he is right in all situations.

Ownership The abuser typically is very possessive. Moreover, he believes that anything he wants should be his, and anything that is his he can do with as he pleases. That attitude applies to people as well as to possessions. It justifies his controlling others' body and behavior, physically abusing others, and taking others' possessions.

Self-glorification The abuser usually thinks of himself as strong, superior, independent, self-sufficient, and very masculine. His idea of the ideal man often is the cowboy, adventurer, or pirate. Any action or perceived attitude of another person that does not conform to his glorified self-image is seen as a putdown. Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 5 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Is It Rape When It’s Someone I Know or Have a Relationship With?

When a woman has a close personal relationship with the man who rapes her, she - and others - may be confused about whether the attack was really a rape.

Oregon law, however, is clear on the subject of . Oregon has been a leader among the states in asserting that the marriage contract does not erase a wife's right to say no to her husband. A woman in this state who is raped by her husband has the same rights as any other victim of rape, and she can receive the same protection under the Family Prevention Act as a woman who is beaten by her husband.

Similarly, what some call "" is in fact simply the crime of rape. We believe that no occasion that ends in rape can properly be called a date.

Rapes of that kind are planned; they are not the results of unpredictable bursts of passion. The plan often is subtle and intricate, involving covert threats as well as tricky moves. For example, earlier in the evening the rapist might have demonstrated his strength in a playful wrestling match, or he may have shown her his gun collection or happened to mention violent acts he had committed in the past.

The purpose is to plant the seeds of that will undermine her defenses when the attack comes. Men who sexually assault their dates often rationalize, "It was a date, and she knew what to expect" (as if all dates are supposed to involve rape); or, "She shouldn't have drunk so much if she didn't want to do it" (since when is trusting someone an invitation to rape?); or, "She didn't fight or scream" (as if being immobilized by fear or shock should be construed as consent).

Women who have been raped by their husbands or dates experience many of the same and feelings as the victim of any sexual assault. They suffer from ("Was it something I said? Or did?"), from fear ("What if it happens again?"), and from loss of trust ("How could he do this to me?").

The victim needs to know it was the attacker's plan, not her actions, that led to the rape. She needs to hear that he is a criminal and she is not an accessory to the crime but rather a victim. She needs to understand that her reactions during the assault-whether she chose nonresistance or screaming or some other tactic-were what she needed to do to survive. Only her instincts could tell her his potential for violence at that time, and she was correct to trust her instincts. Whether or not she chooses to prosecute, we encourage her to contact someone trained to work with rape victims so that her healing process may begin as quickly as possible.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 6 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault Drugs

Rohypnol and GHB are strong sedatives often found at night clubs and parties and are often abused by anyone, including teenagers, night club attendees, bartenders, and individuals intent on perpetrating sexual assault. In many cases, a rapist may mix the drug into the drink of an unsuspecting victim. Combining these drugs with alcohol increases the drug's effects, sometimes causing death.

What is Rohypnol? Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) is a strong sedative which is manufactured and distributed by Hoffinan-La Roche. A member of the benzodiazepine family which includes drugs such as Librium, Xanax, and Valium. Rohypnol is about ten times the strength of Valium. Although Rohypnol is used as a presurgical anesthetic or for the treatment of in many countries, the drug has never been approved for medical use in the United States because other safer drugs are available. Typically, Rohypnol is smuggled into Texas from the Mexican pharmacies; supplies in Florida come from Latin America. Street prices in Texas range from $1 to $5 per pill. Slang terms for Rohypnol include Roach, Roche (ro-shay), Roofies, Run-Trip-and-Fall, R-2, Mexican Valium, Ropynol, Rib, and Rope. In South Texas, to be under the influence of Rohypnol is "to get roached."

What is GHB? GHB (gamma-hydroxybutyrate) was once sold in health food stores as a performance enhancing additive to body builder formulas. Although it is rumored that GHB stimulates muscle growth, this claim has never been proven. GHB is a central nervous system depressant that is abused for its intoxicating effects. In 1990, the FDA banned the use of GHB except under the supervision of a physician because of many reports of severe, uncontrollable side effects.

Why are Rohypnol and GHB called "date rape” or “sexual assault” drugs? Rohypnol and GHB have been called “date rape” or "sexual assault" drugs because of their potential to cause blackouts and amnesia at high doses. In the past decade, cases of sexual assault and where victims were sedated by Rohypnol or GHB have been reported. The drugs have been reportedly used at gang initiation rites. In response to the abuse of Rohypnol and GHB, the Drug-Induced Rape Prevention and Punishment Act of 1996 was enacted into federal law. This law makes it a crime to give someone a controlled substance without a person's knowledge and with intent to commit a violent crime. The law also stiffens the penalties for the possession and distribution of Rohypnol and GHB.

Alcohol Facilitated Sexual Assault (Source: http://sexualassaultservices.gmu.edu/AlcoholSA.htm) In nearly half of all sexual assaults, the victim, offender or both were under the influence of alcohol. Alcohol is legal, easily accessible and it increases your vulnerability to sexual assault. Among the drugs used in drug-facilitated sexual assault, alcohol may be the most common, and the one fewest people recognize as a potential tool of sexual assault.

• Alcohol impairs judgment and lowers inhibitions, • Alcohol slows reflexes and can impair the victim's making some people more likely to force sex on an ability to recognize a potentially dangerous situation unwilling partner • Sexual assault is a crime of violence: Alcohol never • While intoxicated, men are more likely to interpret a justifies violent, criminal behavior woman's behavior, or body language as evidence that she wants to have sex • Many state laws recognize that when someone is drunk, they are unable to give consent, and it is considered a sexual assault Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 7 April 2008 Sexual Assault

If Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted

If someone you care about is raped, here are some things to keep in mind as you help her.

Be supportive. Really listen. Make it clear that you care about her feelings.

Don't ask for details. Give her the opportunity to talk about her feelings, fears, and reactions as she chooses.

Don't tell her what to do. It's her decision whether to report the rape or not. You can help her clarify her options or refer her to a rape crisis hotline for that kind of help. In Central Oregon, the rape crisis hotline is 541-389-7021 or toll free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992. Elsewhere, look in the front pages of the local telephone directory for the hotline serving the area you're in.

If she has just been raped and she decides to report it, remind her not to destroy evidence by bathing, douching, changing clothes, or applying medication.

Encourage her to get competent, sensitive medical attention. St. Charles has trained Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners – the first Examiners in all of Oregon.

Encourage her to talk with someone trained to help rape victims. However, a survivor of rape must be able to decide for herself when and whether or not she wants to receive counseling.

Seek professional help for yourself. Your feelings matter, too. By talking through your feelings with a counselor, you will be better able to provide the continuing support she will need. Don't use her to help you get through your own feelings.

Be gentle, patient, and sensitive to her needs. Don't presume you know her needs. Ask before you reach out.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 8 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Surviving an Assault

Don’t blame yourself. Even if you would have done something differently, you did not choose to be assaulted. It was the offender’s decision to take advantage of you.

Tell someone. Healing is easier when you have emotional support. Loved ones may feel frightened to hear your story and may not be as supportive as you need. Call a rape center or a crisis hotline, or join a support group for survivors.

Your reactions are normal. Shock, disbelief, fear, anger, , guilt, and feeling crazy are all common experiences.

Report it. Consider the pros and cons of reporting the crime to the police. Call a rape center or hotline for details.

Get medical attention. Even if the assault was in the past it is important to get help. You may be injured, pregnant or have undetected diseases.

Make a safety plan. Do you need to leave, change routines, or get away from someone’s reach? Ask for help making your safety plan from your landlady, employer, friends and family, police, or rape crisis line.

Learn more. Survivors initially believe that their experience was unique. Knowing that others have survived can be a source of strength for you.

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Rape Trauma Syndrome

Rape Trauma Syndrome A person who has been sexually assaulted may experience a series of feelings and reactions to the assault. The range of responses specific to the experience of sexual assault is commonly referred to as Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS).

The following is a list of common feelings following a sexual assault. Not all survivors experience all of the reactions; everyone is different. There is no one way to respond to having been sexually assaulted.

Shock and Disbelief: “Why am I so calm?” “Why can’t I cry?” “Why can’t I stop crying?” “Did it really happen?” “Why me?” Survivors may wonder if they have really been raped if they knew the person beforehand; if it was their partner; if no weapons were used; if they voluntarily drank or used drugs. They may feel numb and unable to feel.

Shame: “I feel so dirty and humiliated.” “I feel like there is something wrong with me. Survivors may not want anyone to know what happened because they fear they will be blamed. Survivors are often asked what they were wearing or doing when they disclose an assault. This is like blaming a bank for a robbery because it has money in its vaults.

Guilt: “I feel as if I did something to make this happen to me – like I somehow caused it.” “If only I had…” “I should have resisted more.” “I shouldn’t have resisted so much.” “I don’t want to burden my friends and family with this.”

Fear: “I’m scared the rapist will return.” “I’m scared of the places, people, things that remind me of the assault.” “I’m scared of others finding out and what they will think of me.” “I’m afraid of having to report or go to court.” Following an assault, survivors are often afraid of everyday activities - sleeping, socializing, or leaving children in daycare. Victims report nightmares, mood swings, and insomnia.

Anger: “I’m so mad at myself for letting it happen.” “I’m angry with my significant other for not understanding or protecting me.” “I’m so angry at the rapist.”

Betrayal: “I trusted the rapist, even if I only knew him briefly.” “I can’t believe God would let this happen to me.” “I feel betrayed by the reactions of people in my life, society, and the system.” Survivors may feel cautious about trusting others; they may even lose trust in their ability to judge others or situations.

Powerlessness and Depression: “I feel like I have lost all control over my body and my life.” “I feel like it will never get better.” “How am I going to go on?” “I feel so tired and hopeless.” When a survivor’s body is assaulted, their sense of personal power and control is also assaulted. Survivors may feel unable to control any of life’s circumstances

Disorientation: “I can’t sit still.” “I am having trouble getting through the day.” “I feel overwhelmed!” “People are driving me crazy – I want to be left alone!” “I can’t handle being alone right now.”

Flashbacks: “It keeps playing over and over in my head – I wish it would stop.”

Denial: “It was just bad or rough sex.”

(Source: “Survivor,” LA Commission on Assaults Against Women, 9/05) Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 10 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Recovering from Sexual Assault

In addition to the trauma of the sexual assault and the after effects of Rape Trauma Syndrome, survivors may also experience some of the following:

• Destruction of her trust in people, even those in no • Physical scars and/or disabilities way connected to the rape • HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases • Misplaced anger directed toward her from her • Pregnancy husband or partner • Feelings of extreme isolation • Criticism and/or some level of shunning from her • Loss of self-esteem family and friends as well as from society in general

Just as most women don’t report their rape to authorities – fewer that 10% do, it’s estimated – many victims won’t tell anyone at all.

Choosing to deal with the assault on their own, many rape survivors feel that keeping the rape quiet is their only way to regain control of their lives. Fear of being blamed for the rape, and a sense of isolation, contributes to the decision not to tell anyone, at least not right away.

Whether or not the victim confides in someone, the survivor may be in a kind of shock for days. The survivor may have a feeling of surrealism, an inability to process what’s going on. A sexual assault survivor may feel out of control but in a controlled way. In other words, the survivor may be in shock. Shock anesthetizes the mind and body to help the victim survive the rape.

Relatively few rape survivors choose to get professional counseling. Yet, for many women, it may be helpful to talk with a safe, caring, supportive person, and some survivors may also benefit from talking with a professional who is trained to deal with the issues of sexual violence.

If she has just been raped, our first concern is that the victim is safe, that she has a safe place to stay and safe people to be with. The woman will be invited to go to the SAVING GRACE shelter, but usually she chooses to stay with friends instead.

Counseling can help the rape victim:

• Release a flood of emotions generated by the attack, including fear, grief, and anger • Overcome feelings of isolation • Accept her feelings • Come to terms with the reality of the attack and validity of her responses • Regain her sense of control over her own life • Understand and evaluate her options • Make informed, rational choices for herself

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 11 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Medical Care for Sexual Assault Survivors

Why survivors seek medical attention In addition to the emotional crisis that a victim may experience after a sexual assault, many survivors have physical concerns that they would like a medical professional to help them address. Those concerns may include checking for and treating injuries or addressing the possibility of unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Seeking medical attention can also be a way to discuss the sexual assault with other professionals such as law enforcement or crisis counselors (advocates).

Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE) Sexual assault survivors can seek medical attention from providers who have received specialized training to treat victims.

At some hospitals Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE) are on duty or on call around the clock to ensure survivors receive appropriate treatment as quickly as possible and that any evidence that might be used in prosecuting the assailant is collected and preserved according to strict standards. The SANE nurse's first concerns are for the patient's privacy and needs. After the survivor checks in at the hospital emergency room, the SANE nurse will move her as quickly as possible to another, quieter room (if one is available) for the examination. The survivor has the option of having a friend, family member, Victim’s Assistance or SAVING GRACE advocate with them at the hospital for emotional support.

The Sexual Assault Forensic Exam (SAFE) The SANE nurse interviews the survivor about the assault, mainly for information that may be pertinent to the survivor's medical condition. The nurse may also take numerous samples such as hair, saliva, fingernail clippings and scrapings, and swabs of any bites, abrasions, or other injuries -- and preserves them for possible use as evidence.

The nurse will test for the presence of sexually transmitted disease. Each article of the survivor's clothing is removed, sealed in a separate package, and marked for evidence. A pelvic exam is conducted and the nurse may prescribe medications, including medications that can act as preventives for certain sexually transmitted diseases. An emergency contraceptive pill (also known as the morning after pill) is offered.

The SAFE exam usually takes about three hours to complete.

The Sexual Assault Victims’ Emergency (SAVE) Medical Response Fund This fund pays for a medical examination with or without a report to the police. It pays for the SAFE Kit exam, emergency contraceptive and STI/STD prevention meds.

Do I have to report to law enforcement before the nurse will collect DNA evidence? Victims of sexual assault can consent to the collection of evidence regardless of whether the victim reports the assault to a law enforcement agency. This gives her or him time to come to a decision about whether or not they want to prosecute the assault. Often times a victim does not want to report at the time of the exam, but later wishes they had that opportunity back. By collecting the evidence at the time of the exam, a victim can then go to law enforcement in the next six months and open a case.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 12 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault and the Justice System

Whether or not to report a rape to the police must be the survivor's choice, no one else's. The survivor is the one who will have to decide whether she can handle the stresses that the decision to report inevitably brings.

Although there has been considerable improvement in recent years in the way the justice system treats a rape victim, the process for her still will be difficult at best. When she reports the rape, her actions will come under public scrutiny. She and her actions may be criticized. She may be regarded by some as a "bad woman." She may not be believed. And it's entirely possible that she may go through the months of investigation and court processes only to see the rapist walk away. Even if he is convicted, she knows the odds are heavy that he will be back on the streets soon.

With all that, it is a brave woman who chooses to report the crime.

A woman who wants to report a rape that just happened should telephone the police and be prepared to go immediately to St. Charles for a exam. That is a special exam administered by trained medical personnel in order to gather physical evidence about the rape. To preserve the evidence, the survivor should not clean herself up in any way or change her clothes before the exam is completed.

When the victim first reports the crime, the police in many Oregon communities in turn will notify the local Victim Assistance Program, and a Victim Assistance Advocate will respond. Usually the advocate will meet the victim at the hospital to stand by her during the initial police interview and, if the victim wants, during the medical exam. (If the victim has called Saving Grace, a Saving Grace advocate can also join her at the hospital; and, if the victim wants, the advocate will stay involved with the case up through the trial.)

Both kinds of advocates will listen to the victim, validate her feelings and reactions, and prepare her for what comes next in the legal process. Advocates also can handle urgent practical tasks such as making phone calls for the victim and giving her clothes to wear home from the hospital if the ones she was wearing are needed for evidence.

Later, an advocate may go with the victim to further interviews with the police and others in the justice system. The advocate can accompany her to the grand jury proceedings and, if there is an indictment, will help prepare the victim for court, including such basic steps as showing her the courtroom, explaining the trial process, and assuring her it's all right to ask questions.

Support continues even after the trial, with matters of compensation and restitution. Victim Assistance Program staff will help the victim with the paperwork needed to get aid from the Oregon Department of Justice Crime Victims' Compensation Program. Funds are there to help meet expenses like medical and counseling bills and to help make up for loss of income as a result of the crime.

For more information about the Victims' Compensation Program, see Crime Victim's Compensation in the Safety & Protection section.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 13 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Civil Penalties

Civil penalties

Filing a criminal complaint against a rapist is not the only legal way to make him bear the consequences of his actions. In some cases, it may be productive for the victim to look for a civil remedy-in other words, to sue for an amount to be paid as damages.

A civil suit may be against the rapist himself, but suits also have been made against others considered in some way responsible for the crime, such as a motel whose inadequate locks allowed the rapist to enter the victim's room, or the company that failed to check out the rapist's background before hiring him to work in homes where usually he was alone with his victim.

As always for anyone considering court action, the rape survivor must decide whether it's worth it to sue, given the financial and emotional costs involved. The financial reality is that unless the party being sued has a lot of money or other assets, it's unlikely the victim can collect enough in damages to cover court costs-which can run to tens of thousands of dollars-much less to compensate for the anguish the rapist caused. Also, she may have a difficult time finding a lawyer to take the case at all unless there's the potential for a large award and a good chance of winning.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 14 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Plan For Safety, Identify Support and Survival Needs

Identifying Support Many abusive people isolate their victims geographically and socially. As a result, many victims have lost their support system. Developing a support network can be very helpful when planning for your safety. There are many people and places to turn to for help. Friends, Family, women’s support groups, domestic violence hotline, faith communities, counselors, are all possibilities.

Survival Needs Do you have a place to live or a safe place to go? • We have a safe shelter. Do you have money or a way to get money? • You may be eligible for an emergency grant from Department of Human Services, Self Sufficiency Program. Do you have transportation or a way to leave? • We can transport you from a public place to the shelter and we have bus tickets available. Do you have food or a way to get food? • You may be eligible for emergency food stamps from Department of Human Services, Self Sufficiency Program.

What to Take If You Leave If you have time, you may want to take the following items: • Identification: Driver's license, social security cards for you and your children, work permit, green card, passport • Money: checkbooks, credit cards, check cashing cards • House and car keys • Medications • Address book • Change of clothes

The following papers are easily replaceable: • Birth certificate (at the county courthouse) • Restraining order, stalking order, divorce papers, custody order (at the county courthouse) • Insurance papers (at your agent's office) • Lease (at your landlord's office) • Medical records (at your doctor's office)

Remember, it's okay if you forget something you need. Your support system may be able to help you replace things. You can also call the hotline to find out how to get certain items.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 15 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Crime Victims' Compensation

Oregon law says that people who have been victims of crime or are dependents of victims of crime may be able to receive money as compensation for their losses and expenses resulting from the crime. For the purposes of the Crime Victim Compensation Program, a 'Victim' is a person who is injured or killed as a result of a compensable crime committed against the victim in Oregon.

A "compensable crime" is an intentional, knowing, or reckless act by a person resulting in physical and/or emotional injury and/or the death of another person. Incidents of sexual assault may be compensable crimes.

Compensation Losses/Expenses: The kinds of losses and expenses for which the state may compensate include: • Mental health counseling • Reasonable medical and hospital expenses • Eyeglasses, hearing aids, dentures, and other devices that are medically necessary • Funeral expenses • Victim's loss of earnings • Loss of support to dependents • Grief counseling for relatives of homicide victims • Counseling for children who witness domestic violence • Mileage expenses

To Be Eligible for Compensation You Must: • Be a victim of a crime which occurred in Oregon • Report the crime to the police or sheriff within 72 hours* or what about a letter from therapist • Cooperate fully to apprehend and prosecute the assailant • Not have been involved in a wrongful act and/or did not provoke the assailant • Apply for compensation within six months of the crime* *May be waived with good cause.

Victims Are Not Eligible If: • The crime occurred prior to 10/4/97 and compensable expenses resulting from the crime do not total $100 • The injury or death resulted from an accident

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 16 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Compensation May Include: • Up to $20,000 for reasonable medical and/or counseling expenses from a licensed professional • Loss of earnings/support up to $400 per week to a maximum of $20,000 • Funeral expenses up to a maximum of $3,500. Rehabilitation up to a maximum of $4,000 • Reimbursement of mileage for medical/mental health treatment over 60 miles round trip when services are not available with another provider within the area.

How To Apply A victim or dependent of a victim of crime must file an application for compensation under this law. Applications may be obtained from and filed with your local District Attorney’s Victims Assistance Office or: http://www.doj.state.or.us/CrimeV/welcome1.htm

After receiving the application, the Crime Victim's Compensation Program will process your request for compensation. This requires obtaining police reports, medical reports, employment verification (when applicable), and any other information necessary for the investigation.

If the victim or dependent of the victim has any benefits available, such as sick leave, medical disability or life insurance, social security or restitution, amounts received from those sources will be deducted from any compensation awarded under this program.

The Crime Victims' Compensation Program will notify applicants in writing of the decision on their claims. An appeals process is available if the applicant disagrees with the decision.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 17 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Protection from Stalking

What is stalking? Stalking is: • Intentional, knowing, or reckless repeated and unwanted contact that alarms or coerces the victim or a member of the victim’s immediate household or family; when • It is objectively reasonable for the victim to feel alarmed or coerced; and • The contacts cause reasonable fear regarding the victim’s physical safety.

What are some examples of stalking? • Following the victim • Waiting outside home, school, job or property; • Committing a crime (including sexual assault, domestic violence and others) against victim, pets, or property; • Causing or threatening to cause injury • Sending letters or emails, telephoning, interfering with other relationships; and • Other types of behavior that create actual and reasonable fear for victim’s physical safety. Any speech-based communication is protected by the First Amendment and so must rise to the level of an actual threat in order to qualify as “stalking” contact.

What are some limitations? • Conduct protected by labor laws is not stalking. An example would be when the stalker and the victim work for the same company and a parking lot or break-room is designated as a common use zone. • A person in the custody of law enforcement or corrections cannot obtain a stalking order. • Conduct that is within the scope of a law enforcement officer’s official duty is not stalking.

What is a stalking protective order? A stalking order is a protective order issued by a court to prohibit a stalker from doing things like following or contacting the victim, or a member of the victim’s immediate family or household.

Who can get a stalking order? There is no qualifying relationship required. A person can get a stalking order against anyone who has staked him or her, or against anyone who has stalked a member of his or her immediate family or household.

What is required to get a stalking order? • Two instances of stalking are required. • The stalking behavior must have taken place within the last two years. • The victim’s fear must be actual and reasonable. o The victim must show that anyone in the Petitioner’s shoes would feel alarmed or coerced by the stalker’s contact o The victim must show that the stalker’s contact has actually caused reasonable fear for the physical safety of petitioner or a member of victim’s household or family.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 18 April 2008 Sexual Assault What can a stalking order do? A stalking order can prohibit the stalker from: • Coming into the visual or physical presence of the protected person (the victim who applied for the stalking order); • Following the protected person; • Waiting outside the home, school, place of work, etc of the protected person or of a member of that person’s family or household; • Sending or making written or electronic communication to the protected person; • Speaking with the protected person by any means; • Committing a crime against the protected person or property of that person; • Communicating with third parties with the intent of affecting relationships of the protected person; • Delivering any object to the protected person directly or through a third party; • Contacting the protected person in other ways; • In some circumstances, the Court may order a mental health evaluation of stalker

How long do stalking orders last? Once final, a stalking protective order is permanent unless otherwise ordered by a Judge.

How can I get a stalking order? A person who is being stalked can get protection under the law by making a complaint to any law enforcement officer and requesting an Officer's Citation. The request must include a sworn statement from the victim - or from the victim's parent or guardian, if appropriate - describing the stalking.

The Officer's Citation is issued when the officer has "probable cause" to believe that the alleged stalker has made repeated, unwelcome contact with the victim and that it is reasonable for the victim to be alarmed for her own safety and/or the safety of members of her immediate family or household.

The Officer's Citation tells the alleged stalker to appear in court within three court-business days under penalty of arrest - for a hearing at which the alleged stalker must show cause as to why a judicial stalking order should not be issued. During that three-day period before the court hearing, the victim is protected under the Officer's Citation.

The Officer's Citation also includes a copy of the stalking complaint and notifies the victim of the time and place of the hearing.

**Because the old stalking law was ruled unconstitutional, stalking orders issued before June 14, 1995 (the effective date of the new law) are no longer valid. The procedure for reapplying will vary from county to county.

The law sets criminal and civil penalties for stalking. A stalker may be convicted of a misdemeanor unless the stalker has a prior conviction for stalking or has violated a stalking protective order, in which case the latest stalking offense becomes a felony. The victim also may file a civil lawsuit against the stalker for money to be paid as compensatory and punitive damages.

Are there other ways to get a stalking order? There is also a civil petition procedure, although, in many counties, self-help paperwork for this procedure is not available at the Courthouse and this type of proceeding may require an attorney’s help. In other counties, this paperwork is available at the courthouse and a process similar to the FAPA (Family Abuse Protection Act) process is in place.

Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 19 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Unique Issues Facing Male Survivors

Male victims of sexual assault are an often forgotten population: unseen, neglected and underserved. Some of the stereotypes and myths that impact male victims' ability to face their sexual assault are: • Men are immune to victimization • Men should be able to fight off attacks • Men shouldn't express emotion • Men enjoy all sex, so they must have enjoyed the assault • Male survivors are more likely to become sexual predators

These stereotypes and myths can then lead to: • Loss of belief in their masculinity • Exaggerated self-blame • Feelings of , guilt, anger • Fear they can’t protect their families • Symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome • Sexual difficulties • Self-destructive behaviors

Male survivors may face certain barriers to seeking support or services, either from friends and family or from organizations and institutions. Male survivors can experience: • Fear in seeking help because of judgment • Response from others can be damaging or unsupportive • He may keep silent because the perpetrator may have threatened the survivor or his family • He may resist reporting the sexual assault due to the need to repeat the story over and over again to police, to prosecutors, and in court • He may blame himself for the attack because he was not able to fight the aggressor off • He may think that the assault was not rape because he became sexually aroused during the attack (i.e., he had an erection or ejaculated). This is a normal physiological reaction, NOT a sign of enjoyment

Male victims of sexual assault may experience a variety of outcomes, impacting their well-being. The psychological impact can be severe for men because they are socialized to believe they are immune to sexual assault and because societal reactions can be more isolating and stigmatizing: • Sense of self and concept of "reality" are disrupted • , obsessive fear of bodily harm, profound , depression, fearfulness, and identity confusion • Withdrawal from interpersonal contact and a heightened sense of alienation • Anger about the assault can lead to hostility • Stress-induced psycho-physiological reactions • Heterosexual men may experience “homosexual panic”- a fear that the assault will make him “become homosexual” • He may feel that he is less of a man • A gay man may feel he is being “punished” for, or may develop self-loathing related to, his sexual orientation • He may fear he was targeted as a member of the gay community, and he might withdraw from that community

(Source: “Male Sexual Assault,” http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/male-sexual-assault) Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 20 April 2008 Sexual Assault

People with Disabilities

People with disabilities are particularly vulnerable, and have some of the highest rates of sexual assault. Research shows that women with disabilities, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or class, are assaulted, raped, and abused at a rate two times greater than women without a disability. It has been estimated that 83% of women with a disability will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Males with disabilities are twice as likely as males without disabilities to be sexually abused in their lifetime.

Here are some contributing factors that increase the vulnerability of people with disabilities:

• Increased dependency on others for long term care

• of human rights that result in the perception of powerlessness

• Less risk of discovery as perceived by the perpetrator

• The difficulty some survivors have in being believed

• Less education about appropriate and inappropriate sexuality

• Social isolation and increased risk of manipulation

• Physical helplessness and vulnerability in public places

People with disabilities also face barriers to getting help, which may include some of the following:

Fear. The offender may have an economic hold or have social power over the person with a disability which can keep her from disclosing the violence. The offender may be threatening to withdraw his/her services, hurt the person's family members or take away the person's children.

Isolation. Some people with disabilities have had little or no contact with anyone other than their caregivers, particularly when they live in institutions. When a caregiver becomes the offender, the person is left with few or no options.

Lack of Access. People with disabilities do not have full access to violence-related support services. When they do not know that the services exist or cannot gain access to them, they have little opportunity to tell someone about the violence in their lives.

Credibility. People with disabilities are often considered to be less competent and less reliable as witnesses simply because they have a disability.

(Sources: www.wcasa.org/docs/disabfact.pdf, and http://www.ilru.org/html/publications/readings_in_IL/abuse.html) Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 21 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Elderly Survivors of Sexual Assault

As many as 18% of all sexual assault victims are over the age of 60.

Recovering from a sexual assault may be a difficult process for an elderly survivor. If the assault caused severe physical trauma or injuries (and because many elderly people have a natural decrease in strength and bone structure) the injuries may take longer to heal.

A sexual assault may cause a victim to think about their own mortality. Victims may feel increased helplessness. An elderly victim of sexual assault may still hold the social values of their generation, which can compound the psychological impact. The victim may experience shame and embarrassment about the assault and decide not to discuss it. Additionally, the victim may not have a large support system of friends and family which may make them feel alienated or alone.

If there are age-related mental impairments, it may be extremely difficult for the victim to remember the information necessary for making a police report. It may also be difficult for them to express what they are going through.

(Source: Standing Together Against Rape, http://www.star.ak.org/Library/files/ev.htm) Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 22 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Survivors of Sexual Assault

Facts About Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Survivors of Sexual Assault:

• Studies suggest that the amount of and marital rape for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people is as high as that for heterosexuals

• Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender survivors may fear seeking help for fear of being ridiculed

Special Needs

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender survivors have the same needs as other survivors. The primary difference for crisis intervention is the issue of sexuality. Reinforce the facts about sexual assault; sexual assault can and does happen among all populations. Recognize that the survivor may feel reluctant to discuss the assault out of fear of being judged or out of the belief that crisis lines aren’t available or sensitive to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender survivors.

Barriers to services:

• Reporting process which “outs” the survivor

• Stereotypes that violence in a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender relationship is “mutual”; a similar assumption is not made in heterosexual relationships

• Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community may not be supportive of victims as they may want to maintain the myth that there are no problems of relationship violence within Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender relationships

• Lack of competent “queer-friendly” helpers who are sensitive to the issues; homophobic service providers

In same-sex dating relationships there is a myth that sexual assault doesn’t occur in gay and lesbian relationships, but it is just that, a myth. Women are sometimes raped or sexually assaulted by their female partners or dates, and men can be assaulted by their male partners or dates. Survivors of same-sex rape have to deal with the same issues as survivors of opposite-sex rape, with the addition of concerns about homophobic responses from others and beliefs that same-sex partners cannot sexually assault each other. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender survivors of sexual assault may also fear exposing their community to negative reactions and stereotypes and not tell anyone about the rape for that reason. These additional issues make it all the more important for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender survivors to find support in helping them to recover and cope with the trauma of having been sexually assaulted.

(Source: Standing Together Against Rape, http://www.star.ak.org/Library/files/glv.htm) Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 23 April 2008 Sexual Assault

Adults Molested As Children

Adult survivors of childhood sexual assault (or Adults Molested As Children) are affected differently by the abuse which can depend on a number of factors such as:

• The type of relationship with the abuser (the closer the relationship, the greater the disturbance) • The duration and severity of the abuse • The child's psychosocial development at the time of the abuse • The level of support the child received after their disclosure

The crisis of an adult survivor can be very different to that of a recent victim/survivor. Adult survivors may live a majority of their life in crisis or some sort of turmoil and chaos (due to their abuse) and are finally after years they are able to identifying that it was their abuse that has caused such grief. A recent victim/survivor will address the current event as the cause of crisis and will usually see it as an isolated event. However an adult survivor will address several crises in their life and may have more difficulty identifying an isolated event if they were subjected to chronic abuse. In acute cases, the adult may also have difficulty identifying an isolated event because many times the abuse was followed by negativity by those around him/her which often triggered more abuse in terms of verbal, mental, and emotional.

There are several behavior patterns that are seen with adult survivors in crisis:

• Depression, anxiety, hyper vigilance, and fixation with control issues

• Fear and distrust of others around them

• Difficulty forming and sustaining healthy and/or stable intimate relationships and friendships

• Difficulty with sexual intimacy and sexuality

• Avoidance and dissociation because of fear of being re-victimized or making themselves vulnerable to abuse

• Dependence on therapist, crisis interventionist, co-worker, roommate, etc.

• Low self-esteem, self-degradation, self-blame, and many times a distorted body image, this may lead to an eating disorder or self-mutilation

Adult survivors of childhood sexual assault can regain control of their life and we are here to help.

(Source: “Crisis and Adult Survivors,” http://www.u.arizona.edu/~sexasslt/arpep/SACAS%20art.html) Saving Grace• Hotline 541-389-7021 or Toll Free in Oregon 1-866-504-8992 Page 24 April 2008