16 April 4, 2006 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Arts & Entertainment Good Charlotte banned from claiming Maryland as home state; thousands rejoice

KATE NUNLEY Retriever Weekly Gossip Columnist Hordes of citizens from around the state of Maryland have banded together in an effort to prohibit the music group Good Charlotte from claiming Maryland as their home state. The quartet from Waldorf has been making a mockery of Maryland heritage since the debut of their self-titled first album in 2000. The band’s career began innocently enough. The single “Little Things” became a huge success. However, with each album the band has descended more obviously into the realm of boy bands. Even their tattoos and emo lyrics cannot hide the fact that their primary audience is preteens. Band members have even been seen hosting MTV’s Total Request Live. Recently, the band has added more embarrassing incidents to their track record including lead singer Joel Madden’s relationship with Disney teenybopper Hilary Duff. The couple began dating when Duff was seventeen and Madden was twenty- five. Two weeks ago the pair announced their engagement and plans for a wedding abroad. Rumors have been flying that Duff is carrying his child. Besides raising issues of inappropriate relations with minors, Good

Charlotte has also been implicated for fraud, Photo Illustration by Christer Belich [Retriever Weekly Staff] forgery and arson. So sad: The band expresses regret at the loss of Maryland citizenship. The band also released a music video for “I Just Wanna Live” where the band up. Last weekend the BCGA’s petition grew members were dressed up as different types to 200,000 signatures. of food. With lyrics from other singles such A countermovement has also started in as “The girls with the bodies like boys with South Dakota, which desperately wants to Ferraris,” is it easy to see why many residents be adopted as Good Charlotte’s home state. are upset that the state’s musical identity is South Dakotans no longer want to be known defined by such worthless junk. as the state with no people, but the state Marylanders are sick and tired of with a well-known musical group. Good being associated with Good Charlotte’s Charlotte has made no public statement in increasingly manufactured pop-punk. response to South Dakota’s offer. Protesters working for the BGCA (Ban Good Despite all this media attention, Charlotte Association) have been circulating protestor Kevin Rudensky remains confident a petition over the past eight months in an that the petition will go through the effort to legally disassociate the band from Maryland Assembly with little conflict. Maryland. Unfortunately, all of this organized One of the leaders in this movement, action has provoked some unpleasant Kevin Rudensky, described the statewide reactions from band members. Joel and reaction as “incredibly supportive.” his twin brother Benji appeared on MTV Rudensky started the infamous petition with recently trying to put a sympathetic spin on a few neighbors in his hometown of Olney, the story. Not more than a minute into their Maryland. They began by going door-to- interview, MTV’s phone lines were flooded door and gathering support from the ground with calls from Maryland residents who did not want to be portrayed as music haters. Joel and Benji have also been fighting back on their website blog. Ironically, the extra publicity has also resulted in greater album sales for all items listed in Good Charlotte’s discography. It may even result in a more lucrative contract with Sony. Meanwhile, Duff’s album sales have decreased rapidly as her public image becomes overshadowed by the Maryland v. Good Charlotte controversy. This may be due in part to the fact that she released a greatest hits record after only two albums. Despite all of the protestors’ efforts, it seems inevitable that Good Charlotte will be inexorably connected with Maryland.

Kate Nunley once smacked Benji Madden in the head with a beer bottle, and he cried for hours. We love her.